You Suck at Craigslist

YSaC, Vol. 1520: … A good start.

dan — Fri, 24 May 2013 11:57:48 +0000

Ok folks, let’s get lawyered up!

Well, not LAWYERED exactly – more like legal…ish.

PROFESSIONAL CONTRACTS FOR SALE 100+ STYLES EDIT & PRINT RIGHTS – $20

PROTECT YOUR INVESTMENT, WHILE YOU GROW YOUR BUSINESS!!!

I have over 100 styles of contracts, all ready for edit or print and fill out by hand all from Word.

Hard copies are available, 1 for an additional fee of $5.00, which includes shipping. If you want more we can discuss.

Please send payment through PayPal to ############, notate on PayPal the Contract(s) you would like to purchase. We use PayPal, so our clients will have a peace of mind of using a secure website and we are Pay Pal verified. Once we receive full cleared payment, we’ll send your Professional Contract of your choice through electronic mail within 24 hours.

Car Selling Contract
Child Care Contract
Cleaning Contract
Contract for Services Rendered
Construction Contract
DJ Contract
Employment Contract
Event Planner Contract
Flooring Contract
General Contracting
HVAC Service Contract
Hair Salon Booth Rental Agreement
Job Bidding Contract
Independent Contractor Agreement
Landscaping Contract
Lease Contract
Manager Contract
Music Contract
Personal Loan Contract
Simple Contract
Partnership Agreement
Photography Contract
Yard Work Contract
Website Design Agreement Contract
Work for Hire Contract
Pre-Nuptial Agreement
Roommate Contract
Daycare Contract
Event Planner Contract
Booking Agreement Contract
Vendor Contract
Venue Hire Agreement
Performance Contract
Speaker Engagement Contract
DJ Contract
Event Sponsorship Agreement
Music Contract
Durable Power Of Attorney
Medical Directive
Consent for Organ Donation
Health Care Proxy
Yard Work Contract
Cleaning Contract
Swimming Pool Maintenance Contract
Team Project Contract
Job Bidding Contract
Project Manager Contract
Employment Contract
Change Work Order
Independent Contractor Agreement
Extend Performance Date
Consulting Agreement
Manager Contract
Employment Agency Agreement
Basic Hiring Contract
Employment Severance Agreement
Subcontractor Agreement
Book Publishing Contract
Catering Agreement
Child Care Contract
Construction Contract
Flooring Contract
Delivery Agreement
Contract for Services Rendered
General Contracting
Contract Website Design Agreement
Freelancer’s Agreement
Horse Boarding Contract
HVAC Service Contract
Landscaping Contract
Lien Contract
Maintenance Contract
Model Contract
Nanny Contract
Painting Contract
Pet Sitting Service Agreement
Photography Contract
Residential Interior Design Agreement
Snow Removal Contract
Website Maintenance Contract
Land Sale Contract
Wedding Photography Contract
Work for Hire Contract
Writer Ghostwriter Agreement
Timeshare Rental Contract
General Easement Agreement
Cohabitation Agreement
Open Listing Realty Contract
Lease Extension
Neighborhood Rules Compliance Agreement
Quitclaim Deed
Offer to Purchase Real Estate
Realty Agreement
Property Management Contract
Contract for Deed
Rental Contract for Real Property
Earnest Money Contract
Exclusive Listing Agreement
House Rental Contract
Intent to Exercise Purchase Option
Lease Purchase Contract
Tenant Release of Breach of Contract
Rental Contract Form
Short Term House Rental Contract
Lease Contract
Adult Child Rental Contract
Lease Amendment
Commercial Property Rental Agreement
Rental Contract
Agreement to Purchase a Domain Name
Sublease Agreement
Hair Salon Booth Rental Agreement
Rent to Own Contract
Agreement to Sell Personal Property
Car Selling Contract
Rental Contract for Personal Property
Consignment Agreement
Conditional Sale Agreement
Last Will and Testament
Change of Beneficiary
Trustee Resignation
Waiver of Right of Inheritance
Consent to Polygraph
Internship Contract
Employee Internet Policy
Employee Cell Phone Use Policy
Consent to Drug Testing
Debt Agreement Contract
Debt Settlement Agreement
I O U
Personal Loan Contract
Payment Agreement Contract
Consent to Drug Testing
Account Dispute Settlement
Affidavit of Lost Stock
Agent Contract
Assignment of Money Due
Assignment of Copyright
Incumbency Certificate
Confidentiality Agreement
Demand Promissory Note
Franchise Contract
Non-Compete Contract
Non-Disclosure Agreement
Partnership Agreement
Partnership Dissolution Agreement
Permission to Use Quote
Residual-Royalty Buyout Contract
Rights to Use of Name
Residual-Royalty Payment Contract
Stock Purchase Option
Sale of Intellectual Property Agreement
Articles of Merger
Investment Contract
Asset Purchase Agreement
Joint Venture Agreement
Pre-Nuptial Agreement
Mutual Release
Roommate Contract
Business Acquisition Agreement
Daycare Contract
Child Care Deposit Agreement
Attendance Contract
Full Time Child Care Contract
Bullying Contract
Live In Child Care Contract
Safety Contract
Part Time Child Care Contract
Child Grade Contract
Drug Abstinence Contract
Scholarship Contract
Teen Staying Home Alone Contract
Allowance Contract
Child Behavior Contract
Child Cell Phone Contract
Teen Curfew Contract
Teen Dating Contract
Teen Driving Contract
Addendum to Contract
Agreement Extension
Arbitration Agreement
Assignment of Contract
Codicil
Cease and Desist Agreement
Contract Letter
Covenant Not to Sue
Forward Contract
General Affidavit
Simple Contract
Release for Property Damage
Termination of Contract
Affidavit of Mailing
Boilerplate Contract
Equipment Lease Agreement
Fee Waiver
Indemnification Agreement
Waiver of Liability
Stock Subscription Agreement
Contract Amendment
Signature Boxes
Example of A Contract
Breach of Contract: What Is It?
How to Write A Contract
Partnership Contracts
Service Contract
Types of Contracts
Writing Contracts
Services Contract Checklist
Certificate of Assumed or Fictitious Name — Corporation
Certificate of Assumed or Fictitious Name — Individual
Certificate of Assumed or Fictitious Name — Partners
Personal Injury Liability Release Agreement
Release and Hold Harmless Agreement
Sale of Business Under a Fictitious or Assumed Name
Selling A Car: What to Look For In A Contract
Employment Contract: What Should You Look For?
Investment Club Partnership Contract
Child Custody and Visitation Agreement
Convert Separate Property to Community Property
Termination of Business Under a Fictitious or Assumed Name
Withdrawal of Partner from Business Under a Fictitious or Assumed Name

DON’T GET RIPPED OFF, GET PAID!!

These are a steal for $20!!! Let us do the hard work to help protect your business. Once you purchase, you can use your contract over and over. One time fee, for full edit writes! Email us for details, reply to this add.

Don’t hesitate, protect your Business!! Send your payment via Pay Pal to ##############; notate on Pay Pal the Contract(s) you would like to purchase. We use Pay Pal, so our clients will have a peace of mind of using a secure website. We are Pay Pal verified. Once we receive full cleared payment, we’ll send your Professional Contract of your choice through electronic mail within 24hours.

For convenience, click link below to be directed to Pay Pal:

###################

DISCLAIMER: These contracts are not to be considered as legal advice. All content is for informational purposes with use of a notary and/or attorney. Professional Contracts c/o ##################### makes no claim as to accuracy, legality or suitability. The owner/company shall not be held liable for any errors, omissions or for damages of any kind. These documents are for your use and intentions only. Once you purchase, you own the rights for edit and said company is not liable.

Wow – that’s a lot of contracts. However, I notice there isn’t a Wallaby Stud Farming Contract, and I need something to protect my interests if I’m going to be taking Gilbert here out for some wallaby whoopie, if you get my drift. I’m happy to see that you use PayPal, which is verified by PayPal, which is a PayPal company run by PayPal.

Still, it’s a good thing there’s someone around who’s willing to work with PayPal to charge me $20 a pop for contracts that have been ripped wholesale from other websites on the web that offer them for free. Otherwise, I might not know where to get my Underwater Merengue Dance Lesson Contract from.

Thanks for the post, Cameron!

YSaC, Vol. 1519: K. C. What?

dan — Thu, 23 May 2013 11:31:45 +0000

sombrero,taco,black decker,shellbaker meal & dessert maker new in bo – $10

has manuel and recipes shellbaker meal and desert maker cup , of all recipe new never used in box white and black non stick interior//$10
sombrero, fancy$35
rotissirre $9 works great,easy clean up ,just pierce chicken in and watch, ###-###-####
taco holder stamped ,,clay$5

Has Manuel?

¿Que?

Except sombreros, even fancy ones, are more of a Mexican thing – and he’s from Barcelona.

Thanks for the post, Camille!

YSaC, Vol. 1518: You’re welcome, oughout!

dan — Wed, 22 May 2013 11:20:20 +0000

Ready for a relationship!!!!!!!

Okay Now i am seeking yet again, When i thot I needed associated with an individual however turns out many people did not receive the “ready regarding relationship” element. Thus in case oughout r buying pal in order to console anyone or fwb ths seriously isn’t that.
Now i am soo prepared to stay a partnership, When i pass up getting an individual that cell phone calls me merely becoz many people pass up me, or acquire me to the movies or simply cool in the home as well as chat. When i pass up the opinion of being inside enjoy, staying kept as well as maintained. Very well I could summarize myslef since quite amusing, very good audience plus a dedicated person… Now i am gemini by the way consequently whatver oughout noticed abt geminis is true. Now i am certainly not seeking to “kick that cool, observe where by that moves, or nsa” When i dont beverage, fumes or have just about any animals coz involving allergic reactions. I’m college intelligent well, i can hold way up a good talk, I enjoy prepare typically heslthy things coz ive been getting significant abt my personal health and workouts. I’m black female, 5’4 as well as Now i am certainly not ghetto or hoodrat oughout will never be embarassed as soon as going for walks beside me, I could hold my own, personal, have my own, personal auto career as well as appropriate consequently Now i am certainly not in search of handouts oughout preserve yrs as well as I will preserve acquire. Exactly what Now i am certainly not in search of is actually an individual that’s sad within their marriage/rship, or oughout merely split up using 12 months spouse Now i am not any recovery! You need to have targets or something going into 12 months living, always be medication n condition totally free…. focus on condition totally free! not any animals.
In case oughout r interested e-mail me using quality photographs SIMPLY NO PHOTOS SIMPLY NO RESPOND, prefer men upto 36yrs, ethnic background is actually non component my spouse and i dont descriminate you should be fresh hunting n presentable, not any newborn mom dramas make sure you. Fit “interested”in the niche line in order to marijuana junk e-mail as well as tell me a little abt yrself, When i dont thoughts unlimited mailing right up until many of us acquire at ease ample. Thank oughout regarding looking at.

Warning: Do NOT under any circumstances, try to read this whole post out loud in one breath. Also, don’t try to imagine it being read by Sean Connery, William Shatner, Madeline Kahn, or Kermit the Frog. Do not, under any circumstances, read this post while drinking a beverage or while in a place where snickering is discouraged.

You know what? Just don’t read it at all. I’ll give you the highlights:

This person is ready for a relationship. They also have a spouse, who will apparently be sharing this relationship.

This person is willing to write approximately a billion words, but doesn’t have time to spell out “abt.”

This person does not beverage. Although I suspect the post might make more sense if I were beveraging at the moment.

They are also not any recovery.

If you wish to date this person, you must be condition totally free. Also not any animals.

You know what, I give up. I’m going to go beverage.

(drmk’s response on reading this post over my shoulder: “I don’t even.” Yep.)

Thanks, Mike!

YSaC, Vol. 1517: Brass knuckles.

drmk — Tue, 21 May 2013 10:31:04 +0000

deformed dead baby – $100

comes in a brass box.

So, babies! (Waaah!) Babies! (Waaah!)
If you want to end up with scabies!
And warts and stuff! On your face!
You’ve come to the right place!
Baby got box!

Thanks, Annette!

YSaC, Vol. 1516: Doganadabag

dan — Mon, 20 May 2013 11:26:52 +0000

OMMP puppy play date

I am looking for someone with a puppy that also smokes 420. Would love to meet up and see if our puppies can become buddies. My pup is 5 months and is well socialized with people and other animals and needs a new friend. He is up to date on all his shots and please make sure your puppy is as well. I’m pretty chill and laid back. Wanna go on a hike, a walk, or let them run around at the park?

Maybe it’s just me, I don’t think it’s a good idea to let your puppy smoke pot. Or to use your puppy as a shameless hookup tool. Or to put hot sauce on ice cream.

Thanks for the post, Stephanie!

YSaC, Vol. 675 Redux

dan — Sun, 19 May 2013 11:01:24 +0000

I have no idea what the hell drmk was talking about here, but it sure is funny.

YSaC, Vol. 670 Redux

dan — Sat, 18 May 2013 12:59:49 +0000

Three years ago today we leveraged some synergy.

YSaC, Vol. 1515: If I only could

dan — Fri, 17 May 2013 11:54:48 +0000

Hey kids! Who wants some deals? Or… a job? A date? I’m not actually sure. This was posted in “small biz ads,” so the category is no help, either.

Deals!

Not happy where your life is going? Want a little extra money? Want that ideal love in your life? We can help! It may seem like a lot to take in at first, but first time customers pay only $20 to test us just in case. If you are interested contact me at ###-###-####, or email me at ##########

That’s right, not only does this person sell gourmet cupcakes, but they can also sharpen your lawn mower blades WHILE doing your taxes. In Hungarian!

Thanks for the post, Cahmbriel!

YSaC, Vol. 1514: I told you one and one make three.

drmk — Thu, 16 May 2013 12:21:42 +0000

looking for a cult

My friend is pretty basic and indecisive. He keeps looking for different chicks, jobs, vegetables and schools. All this would be fin is he was still 19 but he is 34 or something. He has mechanical skills, very friendly and does not smell like cheese. He would be a nice addition to any cult that unburdens members from thinking. Please email a brief description of your cult, your groups position on sucker MC’s and a picture of a stunt your cult does. thanks!

We here at the Cult of Cheese would like to extend an invitation to your …. oh, wait, I’m sorry — did you say he does not smell like cheese? Never mind. We have strict rules. Have you considered Urantia? They’ll take anyone — even Stockhausen.

Thanks, Johanna!

YSaC, Vol. 1513: Heart of Glossophobia

dan — Wed, 15 May 2013 11:10:41 +0000

Hey friends – are you lacking in loquacity? Do you have difficulty extending your elocutions to adequate heights of extended verbosity? Do you wish to learn the exciting ability to employ a plethora of syllables when a solitary phoneme might suffice?

If so, this guy probably won’t be much help.

Overcoming Fear Of Speeking

wtf

Thanks for the link, Devn!