YSaC, Vol. 1497: I palindrome I

2013 April 23

Looking for a nice talented female


hi i am looking for an smart talented female for a private gigs ,

Please be smart and fun loving .

if you have what it takes for it hit replay ,

you will be rewarded good

Talent? I have talent! Why, I can prepare fugu while juggling three rabid badgers. Here, have the liver. It’s the best part.

Not the kind of talent you were looking for? Okay, watch me tap dance Dante’s Inferno. I won second prize at the Loving County Fair. I would have won first prize, too, if it wasn’t for the turtle that could twirl fire.

I have to be smart, too? Fine. I can name 3.14 to two decimeter places, and I can spell radar forwards AND backwards.

I keep hitting replay, but for some reason my computer keeps singing “Sailing“* by Christopher Cross instead of rewarding me. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.

Thanks, Lewis!

*Do not, under any circumstances, click this link.

20 Responses leave one →
  1. 2013 April 23

    Must be … talented. Must be … fun-loving.

    Wink wink. Nudge nudge.

    Corner corner.

    Adores: 9
  2. 2013 April 23

    1. I needed a new earworm.

    2. I’m nice. Everyone tells me so.

    3. I’m smart. Oh, that right there disqualifies me.

    Sorry, Sparky!

    Adores: 0
    • 2013 April 23
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      After reading that, my brain is creating a mashup of Sailing and I Palindrome I.

      It’s actually not terrible.

      Adores: 2
      • 2013 April 23
        CapnMac permalink

        You are doing better than I am, then–I keep getting TMBG covering “Sail Away” . . .
        This may require some serious bluegrass.
        Or, Karajan conducting Beethoven.
        Or, “Momentary Lapse of Reason.”

        Adores: 1
      • 2013 April 23
        Demon Duck of Doom permalink

        If I agree to take that on, you’ll have to relieve me of my current earworm mashup of “You Make My Dreams Come True” and “Valerie”.

        Adores: 2
  3. 2013 April 23
    Ralph permalink

    Smart, nice, talented, fun-loving…. No other requirements?

    How about a 92 year-old 300 lb. drag queen pole dancer with crotch rot and a wooden leg?

    Personally, I’d hit eject.

    Adores: 8
  4. 2013 April 23
    DigitalAxis permalink

    If by “gigs” you mean “giggity”…

    Adores: 4
  5. 2013 April 23
    MissMommyNiceNice permalink

    Do I just need to be smart enough to grammar better than you? If so, I’m your gal!

    Adores: 6
  6. 2013 April 23

    This is for the version of Britain’s got Talent that they can only play after midnight.

    Adores: 2
    • 2013 April 23
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      It’s nice to see Cinemax branching out into reality programming.

      Adores: 4
      • 2013 April 23
        CapnMac permalink

        Probably more like USANetwork Friday-night programming of Bowdlerized R-rated flicks.

        Much like those edited-to-PG versions of erstwhile salacious films like “Porky’s” “Loosing It” or the like–I suspect Sparky here has a number of scenes deleted, and a herky-jerky sort of story line with unpredictable jump cuts.

        Adores: 2
        • 2013 April 24
          PhantomBanker permalink

          You’re forgetting the really bad overdubs. My all-time favorite is John Goodman at the end of “Fallen” screaming, “Forget you, my friend!”

          Adores: 2
  7. 2013 April 23

    If “Sailing” would just take me away to where I’ve always wanted to be, I’d be far, far away from Sparky.

    Adores: 8
  8. 2013 April 23
    Demon Duck of Doom permalink

    could be sparky are just looking for an gud editor to Proof Read his personal adds.

    Adores: 5
  9. 2013 April 23
    mudslicker permalink

    Is that supposed to be some sort of rhyming poetry ad? ‘Cause that’s the way I be reading it.

    Adores: 3
  10. 2013 April 23
    kelli permalink

    I be smart. I love fun (and I tolerate Fun). I have talent. Granted my talents are carrying things on my bead and turning things into porn, but I think this is one time those talents are relevant. But wait, I am not nice. Guess I don’t qualify after all.

    Adores: 4
    • 2013 April 23
      Dan permalink

      The folks at “Overthinking It” went on a whole riff on one of their podcasts on which entire Grammy *catagories* are more fun than the band Fun.

      Adores: 2
    • 2013 April 23
      DigitalAxis permalink

      We were looking for a kleptomaniac ex-Mossad agent who can play the harpsichord while juggling a live badger, so… yeah, not quite what we wanted.

      Adores: 1
  11. 2013 April 23
    Grumpy Grammy permalink

    I’m smart – I can read.
    I’m talented – I can read.
    I’m fun-loving – I can read.
    My books don’t have a replay button – but I can read.
    I like rewards – and I can read.

    Come to think of it, I don’t think this will work between us: my only talent is my ability to read. And Sparky, I can read between the lines too.

    Adores: 1
  12. 2013 April 24

    C””J, so happy to let you out of the box on Hump Day! Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, STNFs!

    Adores: 0

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