YSaC, Vol. MD: That’s DOCTOR post to you!

2013 April 26

Well readers, as hard as it is to believe, this marks the 1500th unique post on You Suck At Craigslist. It’s been almost five years since we started this silly little blog, and we’ve had some amazing milestones, including the front page of Reddit, celebrity endorsements, being declared a porn site by Google, being the only remaining snark blog without a book deal, and every possible spelling of the word “ottoman.”

And through it all, the most amazing part has been our regular readers. We’ve been tempted many times (particularly when it’s midnight and we don’t have a post written) to pack it in, but being able to read the next day’s comments is what always keeps us going. We can’t swear that there will always be a new post every weekday – sooner or later, we will inevitably exhaust what can be done in the medium of Sucking at Craigslist.

But in the meantime, we really consider you folks some of our best friends, and the smartest and funniest people we know. Thanks for making this bizarre hobby of ours meaningful!

So, since we’re reminiscing about the past, here’s the oldest post in our “yes” pile that we haven’t gotten around to using yet. It’s only four years old – we’ll be caught up in no time!

I am looking to barter my skills for a late model car


I am good at a lot of things and I would be willing to trade my skills for a late model car.
I need something that will fit, 3 dogs and at least 3 people, and can get a 4 x 8 piece of plywood in it or on top of it.
I would rather have red coloring, and it needs to be below 85,000 miles, with no rust or major repair needed.
Thanks.

Ah, four years ago. Remember when people really sucked at Craigslist? It’s great to know that our site has really made a difference. Looking at Craigslist today, you’d never see someone just trying to get someone to give them a …

habitat/goodwill


i know alot of people donate there old cars to goodwill for a tax cut if you got an old beat up car runing with lot of miles that would get me back and forth to my doctor ineedit id be willing to give you five hundred bucks for it mine broke down got to pay people to take me so if you can help call me clarence ### ### #### thankyou lord help ya

This is from last month. Dammit – we’ve accomplished NOTHING!

Thanks, Ghostie and DWM!

43 Responses leave one →
  1. 2013 April 26
    MissMommyNiceNice permalink

    Skills include poor spelling & grammar, sucking at craigslist, hoarding dogs, building things from plywood, standing on my head while whistling Dixie, having children, sweating, and identifying colors .

    Adores: 4
    • 2013 April 26
      SilvaNoir permalink

      Don’t whistle at my dog while standing on your head, you’ll confuse her

      (My dog’s name is Dixie)

      (I didn’t name her, wouldn’t be my choice, the animal shelter did, she responds to that name, so I kept it)

      Adores: 3
      • 2013 April 26

        You could have changed it to Pixie or Trixie, you know. 8)

        Adores: 1
        • 2013 April 26
          SilvaNoir permalink

          At home I call her Dipsy or Dippy, she responds to that too 😉

          Pixie would have been a good name for her though as she is a skinny little thing mostly made of fluff

          Adores: 1
  2. 2013 April 26

    Is this the little blog I cherished?
    Are you the readers who love snark?
    I don’t think Sparky’s getting smarter,
    Don’t go dark!

    Armwar, swing set,
    Winterbagel,
    Swiftly fly the posts!
    One comment following another,
    Lead by a cat who is a ghost.

    Adores: 17
    • 2013 April 26

      I don’t think I’ve even been immortalized in song before. A couple of times in bathroom graffiti, but never song.

      Adores: 14
      • 2013 April 26
        One Moving Violation permalink

        *uses CATapult to launch ghostdoors*

        Adores: 4
    • 2013 April 26

      *Flings doors*

      I am not worthy!!

      Adores: 2
    • 2013 April 26
      CapnMac permalink

      Bees for the Psalm!

      Given that George Jones passed today, I’m wrestling with wanting White Linghtin’ to take a Grand Tour to make I don’t Stop Loving my Snark Today–but, I know I can’t Fill Those Shoes.

      Adores: 2
    • 2013 April 26
      funky "ass-noodles" monkey permalink

      I hope our leaders don’t run out of snark and Craigslist material. But I do believe an article in Rolling Stone warned of this decades ago.

      Adores: 3
  3. 2013 April 26

    I am looking to barter my (unspecified) skills for a late-model car, representation in a trademark matter, and/or ….

    Just gimme free stuff, okay?

    Adores: 3
  4. 2013 April 26

    No snark, just big ol’ Texas hugs for our beloved overlords, that llamanun and ostrimu. You are dear to us, too.

    Adores: 7
    • 2013 April 26
      CapnMac permalink

      What CJ said (she’s smart).

      Along with Ottoman, there’s also Armoire, and Provencal (or Provençal), and heaven only knows what speeling emangulations will wind up celebrated on these August Pages. Where else would we share in the revelations of needing a Winter Bagel to tow our Diplomate so it can be a sand box?

      Or that Ice Green is the correct color of a Minty Shell (and that Matt wil lbe over-wrought about how we immortalize Corey after that).

      And Band Names nearly beyond counting.

      Adores: 3
      • 2013 April 26
        CapnMac permalink

        “What’s a ‘lawsue’?”

        “It’s a regulation created by a legislative body and endorsed by the executive who will enforce that act.
        And don’t call me ‘Sue’.”

        The phd in question probably knows all that will ever be known about the microcrystaline structure of alloyed metals, but has no clue what humor is. Said worthy probably thinks barristers are the vertical elements in stair railings (or, possibly, coffeemakers).

        Adores: 2
        • 2013 April 26
          funky "ass-noodles" monkey permalink

          Well my car fell apart in 2003
          And that didn’t leave much for Hubby Monkey and me
          And he and I just didn’t know what to do.

          So we lawyered up and filed a claim
          Against that ol’ Chevy that up and went lame
          And we told GM “Yeah! We gonna SUE!”

          Adores: 0
  5. 2013 April 26

    So what kind of “skills” is Sparky Uno offering? Nunchaku skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills? I only want to trade my car (which I will color red with this Magic Marker) to someone who has great skills!

    Adores: 2
    • 2013 April 26
      NotALara permalink

      They’re just skills! Just skills, okay?! Just…look, they’re skills, and he’s very skillful at them. Okay?

      P.S. Congratulations on 1500 posts! I’ve been reading for all four years, commented maybe eight times total, but don’t take our silence/laziness to mean that there isn’t also an army of us lurkers and mostly-lurkers out here loving the blog from afar!

      Adores: 5
      • 2013 April 26
        NotALara permalink

        And please excuse my cat math. I think four years+two three-drawer dressers with four drawers each equals five years, right?

        Adores: 3
      • 2013 April 26

        When did you turn into a lobster? I thought you were a pink kitty. (Or possibly a white kitty on a pink background. I get confuzzled sometimes.)

        Adores: 1
        • 2013 April 29
          NotALara permalink

          I have both avatars at Gravatar, and they seem to find it amusing to randomly switch between them. I think they’re trying to drive me insane, but the joke’s on them! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

          Adores: 0
  6. 2013 April 26

    To the illustrious duo:

    I’ve offered before in the past, but figured I’d toss it out there again. If you’re ever in need of a vacation/break/monkey love week I know at least a few of all of the regulars would be willing to chip in a post or five to help out.

    Granted this comes with its own issues, but I’m totally sure we could be trusted to not screw up the site*.

    *Probably true**.

    **Unlikely.

    Adores: 8
    • 2013 April 26

      *Raises Hand* I’m willing, as long as I am held harmless in any law suits that my actions may incur.

      Adores: 2
      • 2013 April 26

        I wouldn’t have to wrap myself in a butter-soaked carpet remnant, would I?

        Adores: 6
        • 2013 April 26
          Kaziganthi permalink

          You wouldn’t have to, but you know you want to, so go ahead and enjoy some buttered carpet remnants, they’re minty!

          Adores: 4
      • 2013 April 26
        CapnMac permalink

        I was cautioned, by PM from another venue, that I ought amend my posting ways in that venue, lest a “lawer” engage me in a “lawsue”–it was beyond sore tempting to ask the PhD in question how long they had answered to “Sue” (O, for the days when award of a doctorate conveyed predictable levels of common literacy).

        Adores: 2
    • 2013 April 26

      I’ll take payment in the form of a sad minty green prom dress!

      Adores: 3
    • 2013 April 26
      funky "ass-noodles" monkey permalink

      “monkey love week”. Snort.

      Adores: 1
  7. 2013 April 26
    SilvaNoir permalink

    My dad has a truck he could part with. It could fit several dogs and pieces of wood as long as you are willing to get the junk out of it and are willing to let a few mice tag along. It has no engine but could “run” (roll) great if you pushed it down a hill. It’s blue but the paint it peeling off so you can add your own (I’ll chip in some red food coloring). It’s below 85,000 miles -it’s parked on his lawn and not orbiting in space. No rust needed- it comes with plenty of its own.

    Adores: 3
  8. 2013 April 26
    MissMommyNiceNice permalink

    Maybe he’d be interested in a fixer- upper with bees?

    Adores: 2
    • 2013 April 26

      There’s more than enough room for Sparky’s stuff in the winter bagel.

      Adores: 2
  9. 2013 April 26
    mudslicker permalink

    Maybe a boat in the backyard that can double as a sandbox. Tetanus shots are kid friendly.

    Adores: 3
  10. 2013 April 26

    I haven’t been here from the beginning but I’m so glad to be here now! Thanks EVERYONE for the first laughs of my day!

    Adores: 5
  11. 2013 April 26
    SilvaNoir permalink

    If you still have posts from four years ago I don’t think you’ll run out of snark too soon 🙂

    Adores: 2
  12. 2013 April 26
    Demon Duck of Doom permalink

    I need something that will fit,

    How about Uncle Al’s old plaid sports coat?

    3 dogs and at least 3 people,

    I can get you 2 dogs, a three toed sloth, a flock of seagulls and a family of five. Will that do?

    and can get a 4 x 8 piece of plywood in it or on top of it.

    That is a good skill, but not quite what I was looking for. If you can juggle 3 lawnmowers while making Beef Wellington and playing Guantanamera on the tuba, let’s talk.

    [matt] No snark for Spark #2. He’s willing to pay what he can, and is not picky about what he gets. Times are tough. [/matt]

    Adores: 4
    • 2013 April 26

      I have a car I’d sell to Sparky 2 for 500.00. It’s got Emanuel Transmission so as long as he continues to thankyou lord, I think it could get him Dr. Ineedit.

      (Would Dr. I/Need/It – be a nefarious sort who writes out scripts he’s not supposed to, or is he/she a sex counselor?)

      Adores: 3
      • 2013 April 27
        Aaron of Mpls permalink

        Ooh, does it have tacky classy not.a.lion.print seatcovers?

        Adores: 2
  13. 2013 April 26
    One Moving Violation permalink

    if you got an old beat up car runing with lot of miles

    Translation: If you got a magic car with runes on it.

    Perhaps Sparky should try riding the magic short bus.

    Because I helped you, you’re clarence.

    Adores: 2
  14. 2013 April 26

    Congratulations on the continuing success of the snark-o-rama that is YSaC! Bless you, dear Llamanun and Ostrimu, for your perseverance and dedication to your creation and the loyal minions who follow it. Long may your snark reign!

    Adores: 5
    • 2013 April 27
      Aaron of Mpls permalink

      Or at least drizzle a little. No snow, though — we’ve had plenty of the non-snarky kind this month.

      Adores: 3
  15. 2013 April 26
    funky "ass-noodles" monkey permalink

    And I remember post #1066, like it was yesterday. Sigh.

    Adores: 2
  16. 2013 April 26
    MissMommyNiceNice permalink

    Is nursemaid a skill? If so, I’m in!

    Adores: 2
  17. 2013 April 27

    *pssst* C””J! You were in the box all day with Meg, who is she, really? Not telling, eh? Fine, keep your secrets! Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, Car Snark!

    Adores: 0
  18. 2013 May 27
    nojazzhere permalink

    Uh, sorry I’m late; I’ve been busy all day. Did I miss the train?

    Adores: 0

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