YSaC, Vol. 1517: Brass knuckles.

2013 May 21

deformed dead baby – $100



comes in a brass box.

So, babies! (Waaah!) Babies! (Waaah!)
If you want to end up with scabies!
And warts and stuff! On your face!
You’ve come to the right place!
Baby got box!

Thanks, Annette!

52 Responses leave one →
  1. 2013 May 21

    I think we are going to need something stronger than weed to get through this. Check your pockets, what have you got?

    I have two breath mints, random bird seed, and a lip balm.

    Adores: 5
    • 2013 May 21

      I’ve got eyebleach, hand sanitizer, and a sleeve of Hob Nobs.

      Don’t judge a person by the contents of their pockets, but by the color of their character, or something.

      Adores: 11
      • 2013 May 21

        Huh…and here I thought it was “don’t judge a person by the color of their pockets, but rather by the content of their carriers”

        YSaC…edu-ma-cating folks since the beginning of time!

        Adores: 11
      • 2013 May 21
        Windrose permalink

        Rebecca, can I trade a breath mint for a Hob Nob? They are hard to come by in my corner.

        Adores: 2
        • 2013 May 21

          Mrfbm hrbtsk flurpnx?

          Excuse me. I shouldn’t talk with my mouth full.

          I mean, “What Hob Nobs?”

          Adores: 7
    • 2013 May 21

      Small notepad, three pens, a hair elastic, and some yarn tails.

      Adores: 6
    • 2013 May 21
      nojazzhere permalink

      More breath mints, keys, scalpel, guitar picks. Hopefully, nothing incriminating. This is NOT what I was expecting on the Tuesday before Memorial Day.Thanks A LOT, Annette!!!!

      Adores: 4
    • 2013 May 21
      mudslicker permalink

      Mentos, tampon, $.37, cat treats, snot tissue, and one baby-deforming kit er, I mean, harmonica.

      Adores: 5
      • 2013 May 21
        nojazzhere permalink

        Why would you need a tampon AND a harmonica?

        Adores: 7
        • 2013 May 21
          mudslicker permalink

          To mask the fact that I may, or I may not have a baby-deforming kit as well.

          MWUHAHAHA…

          Adores: 2
        • 2013 May 21
          Demon Duck of Doom permalink

          My mother always used to say to me “Carry a tampon and a harmonica.” Or was it a hankie and a dime? I get those mixed up.

          Adores: 7
        • 2013 May 21

          My mother used to tell me to wear clean underwear, in case I got run over by a bus.

          Now I think about it, it always did sound vaguely threatening.

          Adores: 3
        • 2013 May 21

          No matter what state they began in, if I were hit by a bus I can guarantee that my undies would not be clean afterwards.

          Adores: 11
      • 2013 May 21
        One Moving Violation permalink

        Brass in pocket. No box, no deformed dead baby. My concience is clean. Well, mostly. Please do not investigate further. Nothing to see here. Move along.

        Adores: 2
    • 2013 May 21
      CapnMac permalink

      Lint, grit, and the remains of hope and dreams

      Adores: 7
  2. 2013 May 21
    Lou Stool permalink

    I vote the Llamanun (BBUH) into the box for the original comment. We’re not beating that one today, folks.

    Adores: 5
  3. 2013 May 21

    Nobody puts Baby in a brass box.

    Adores: 13
    • 2013 May 21

      *Unless the box is filled with concrete and then dropped into the sea.

      Adores: 1
    • 2013 May 21
      mudslicker permalink

      That’s what brass corners are for.

      Adores: 1
  4. 2013 May 21

    Q: What’s funnier than a deformed dead baby?
    A: A deformed dead baby with clown makeup!

    Adores: 1
  5. 2013 May 21

    :clears throat:

    AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Adores: 13
    • 2013 May 21
      nojazzhere permalink

      That’s awesome, ghostcat. How did you do that? Or is it some proprietary cat secret?

      Adores: 3
      • 2013 May 21

        I do deep breathing exercises.

        Adores: 6
        • 2013 May 21
          nojazzhere permalink

          Impressive…. I do like big breaths !

          Adores: 6
        • 2013 May 21
          Windrose permalink

          Penalty, ghostcat, 10 yeards, for breaking the style sheet. *rips ticket out of book* Don’t let it happen again. I knew it was going to be bad when CJ broke the box by squeeing.

          Adores: 2
        • 2013 May 21

          *whimpers*

          But…in my defense…..PUPPIES!

          SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

          Adores: 9
  6. 2013 May 21

    Step 1: Cut a hole in the box.
    Step 2: Put a deformed dead baby in the box.
    Step 3: YARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!

    Adores: 3
    • 2013 May 21
      mudslicker permalink

      Isn’t that the steps for placing a dick in the box?

      Adores: 5
      • 2013 May 21
        MissMommyNiceNice permalink

        not helping the pron image here folks! But the image of JT, VERY helpful. Thanks for that

        Adores: 0
  7. 2013 May 21

    Do NOT, I repeat…do NOT tell Jen Lawson about this. I don’t think Victor, or Hunter for that matter, can take anymore trauma.

    Adores: 17
  8. 2013 May 21
    mudslicker permalink

    Baby got box!

    Baby got pox.

    Adores: 10
    • 2013 May 21
      camille permalink

      I would not like it in a box.
      I do not like it with a pox.
      I do not like it here or there.
      I do not like it anywhere.

      Adores: 21
      • 2013 May 21
        Windrose permalink

        Would you like it at the dump?
        Maybe with an aweful hump?
        How about we give a whirl
        To screaming like two little girls!

        Adores: 7
  9. 2013 May 21
    Ralph permalink

    There’s a better selection on eBay; see this linky

    I prefer this and this.

    Adores: 0
  10. 2013 May 21
    Meg permalink

    THE answer to:
    How is Babby Preserved?

    Adores: 4
  11. 2013 May 21

    OT-sorta….hey random person-who-is-awesome-probably-lurker-what-makes-cute-jewelry….

    I got my ring from our lone advertiser, Uniqueables, today.

    It. Is. Awesome.

    Come on out in the light, missy. Say ‘hey’ to the crowd and let us tell you how awesomesauce you are. 🙂

    Adores: 6
    • 2013 May 21

      Awesome! I looked at their stuff and thought it was really cute, so I’m happy that they’re advertising with us!

      Adores: 3
  12. 2013 May 21
    nojazzhere permalink

    Uh, back to the deformed dead baby…. are you sure it’s dead? Maybe it’s just asleep. Could someone please check? ….soon?….. Thank you.

    Adores: 2
    • 2013 May 21
      camille permalink

      It’s pining for the fjords.

      Adores: 6
      • 2013 May 21

        It is an ex-deformed baby.

        Adores: 0
      • 2013 May 21
        nojazzhere permalink

        No! No! It’s just resting! (beautiful plummage, innit?!)

        Adores: 2
  13. 2013 May 21
    MissMommyNiceNice permalink

    Nothing says Happy Memorial Day like grilling deformed babies! Delicious nutritious, avant garde art, honouring the Dark Lord, good ol’ American fun, sadism, depravity and a BBQ all together. What more could you ask for? ‘Murica! F yeah!

    Adores: 1
    • 2013 May 21
      One Moving Violation permalink

      “What more could you ask for?”

      If I told you, I would have to leave my corner just so I could be sent back. Then I’d have to cast my eyes downward or some such thing, and that just grosses people out.

      Adores: 3
      • 2013 May 21
        MissMommyNiceNice permalink

        well, it doesn’t have bacon … I’m becoming increasingly convinced bacon is now winning the interwebz, surpassing cats and pron…

        Adores: 1
  14. 2013 May 21
    SpaceBug permalink

    To all Sparqii,
    Those who post.
    I speak to that
    Of which you boast.

    You ask of me,
    Write your thesis.
    And try to pawn
    A clothspin Jesus.

    Through all your ads
    I do slog.
    Just to find
    A Hypno dog?

    I don’t care
    If you fix roofs
    Or have unique
    Bedazzled hooves.

    Or sell a couch
    With Auntie stain.
    That is something
    I do disdain.

    You sit and stare
    At shoulder knees
    Then post online
    See me, please.

    For what you seek,
    I’ll never lust.
    A terracotta
    Richie bust?

    I’m glad you tried
    To free Misjay
    But your attempt
    Went astray.

    Take for free
    A table, red.
    Such is asshat
    For that I dread.

    An effin’ tiger
    Not.a.lion.
    All your ads
    Leave me cryin’.

    A minty shell
    And trucks of bees.
    I’m sick to death
    Of fountain cheese.

    On you I’ll spend
    Not one thin dime.
    Now back you go
    To T-shirt time.

    Adores: 11
  15. 2013 May 21
    One Moving Violation permalink

    From the Isle of Misfit Toys-
    Dusnottim Press-
    Nobody wants to play with a Deformed Baby in The Box.

    Especially when it costs a hunnert bucks.

    Adores: 1
  16. 2013 May 22

    C””J, Please take this brass chest with you. No, don’t open it! Wait until tonight, when you’re alone in the house. Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, Bad Seeds!

    Adores: 0

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