YSaC, Vol. 1523: Some things hurt more

2013 May 29

cheap” 1997 honda prelude*1 owner’ 73’000 miles auto $700


Oh dear. Already, we are NOT off to a good start. That’s some rather… enthusiastic punctuation there, isn’t it? Well, let’s get on to the main ad.

__running perfect ___JUST NO TITLE’ ONLY COPY TILE’ YOU NEED GET NEW ONE’ CALL ME OF TEXT ### ### #### tom ‘ YOU CAN COME AFTER 5 PM’

This person reminds me of the stereotypical American abroad, shouting very slowly at foreigners in the hopes that it will help them understand him better.

“JUST. NO. TITLE!”
*blank stare*
“ONLY. COPY. TITLE!”
*confused look*
“YOU. NEED. GET. NEW. ONE!”
“I just stopped to ask for directions to the county administration building. Why are you shouting?”
“CALL. ME. OF. TEXT!”
“Cretin.”

At least the ad comes with pictures:


Well, these seem perfectly normal…


Woah. Glowy license plate is terrifying! Oh, wait – there’s two more photos, you say?


Well then. We’ve already been declared a porn site by Google – may as well own it.

Thanks for the post, Mackenzie!

30 Responses leave one →
  1. 2013 May 29

    These are not the ‘Transformers’ I seem to remember from Saturday mornings of long ago.

    Adores: 12
  2. 2013 May 29
    Ralph permalink

    I always wondered what a Honda was a prelude to. Now we know: “‘ YOU CAN COME AFTER 5 PM.'”

    *_ “‘***!!

    Tits aside, the car appears to be in first-crash condition, but the women are high-mileage.

    Adores: 11
    • 2013 May 29
      Bombdude permalink

      I’ve never seen a Prelude with those accessories before…

      I’ll be in mah bunk…

      Adores: 3
      • 2013 May 29

        I believe you have to acquire those particular “accessories” in a different part of CraigsList.

        Adores: 2
  3. 2013 May 29
    MissMommyNiceNice permalink

    Tattoos and Hennessey?!?! Sounds like my kind of party! Now, if there was only a late model foreign car on which to display the boobies…

    I’ll be in the corner beveraging if anyone needs me.

    Adores: 2
  4. 2013 May 29

    JUST NO TITLE’ ONLY COPY TILE’ YOU NEED GET NEW ONE’

    This is one of my pet peeves about some people who try to sell cars. No, Sparky: You’re the seller; you need get new one’.

    Also, someone needs to tell Lydia the tattooed lady not to beverage and drive.

    Adores: 5
    • 2013 May 29
      One Moving Violation permalink

      That’s right! Never buy a vehicle without a title. Sparky gots no titles, Sparky keeps his rides. All of them.

      Adores: 1
  5. 2013 May 29

    Sparky finds selling his car rather titillating. Also at least he warned us in the first word of the ad, “cheap.”

    Adores: 4
  6. 2013 May 29
    mudslicker permalink

    Wanted: Prelude to a KISS.

    -Gene Simmons

    Adores: 4
  7. 2013 May 29
    nojazzhere permalink

    Whoa!!!!! Are those pictures not the ultimate non sequiter of CL posts? But, no more disparaging remarks about the Lady. Her name is not Lydia….that’s Lucille…..my Lucille…something as beautiful, and built like that, just gots to be named Lucille. Lord, don’t strike me blind for the next few minutes!!!!!!……….8 days and counting.

    Adores: 3
    • 2013 May 29

      Not only is Lucille a car, but she’s also a brick house!

      Adores: 4
    • 2013 May 29
      One Moving Violation permalink

      You picked a fine time…

      Adores: 2
    • 2013 May 29
      nojazzhere permalink

      I just noticed I misspelled “non sequitur.” Sorry, CapnMac!!!!

      Adores: 1
  8. 2013 May 29

    Go home, car-woman. You are drunk.

    Adores: 9
    • 2013 May 29
      nojazzhere permalink

      Uh, TacoMagic? Shouldn’t one of your duties as OtterMan be to see that citizens get home safely? Maybe you should take Lucille home. Just be sure to wear a ,er, you know, your cape.

      Adores: 2
  9. 2013 May 29
    Grampdaddy permalink

    Looking at the first couple of pictures, I was almost positive it was a hardtop. However, the last picture seems to be a convertible.

    With the top down.

    Adores: 19
  10. 2013 May 29
    Irregular Fractal permalink

    In Soviet Russia, car title you!

    Adores: 1
  11. 2013 May 29

    “I’ll put a shirt on as soon as I empty this bottle, just please don’t stare at my breasts while I’m drinking!”

    Adores: 3
  12. 2013 May 29

    The last picture shows Sparkette to have the gravity of the situation well in hand.

    Adores: 8
  13. 2013 May 29
    CapnMac permalink

    Ugh. I tried running this through translate into walloon, and converting it to Comic Sans–but all I get are belgian fries and PBR . . .

    I suspect that the ‘copy title’ is just a piece of paper reading: ” *CAR` ”

    Also that Spark’ is using the 1999 flip-phone found wedged between the seats, too.

    With the spelling format set permanently to ABC123. One where all punctuation is “on” the “1” key, which has to be pressed repeatedly to scroll through the choices, and the button’s electrical contact is almost worn out.

    Much like how I feel this morning–worn out.
    And now, some gratuitous innuendo: Buff that Bondo Babe.

    Adores: 4
    • 2013 May 29
      Dan permalink

      I love the idea of the “copy title” being a piece of paper that just says *CAR’. However, I think more likely is that it actually says !BOA*T?

      Adores: 4
  14. 2013 May 29

    Presumably the car is cheap because it’s been taken over by a Goa’uld. Sparky is desperate to get rid, but it just won’t die.

    Adores: 1
  15. 2013 May 29
    One Moving Violation permalink

    Honda Quaaludes were more popular in the ’70’s.

    Adores: 2
  16. 2013 May 29
    One Moving Violation permalink

    I don’t understand. Do both women come with the car, or do I get to pick and choose?

    Adores: 3
    • 2013 May 29
      nojazzhere permalink

      Pick-a-little, talk-a little, pick-a-little, talk-a-little, cheap-cheap-cheap, talk -a-lot, pick-a-little-more……pick-a-little, talk-a-little, pick-a-little, talk-a-little, cheap-cheap-cheap, talk-a-lot, pick-a-little-more……cheap-cheap-cheap-cheap-cheap-cheap-cheap-cheap…..good night, ladies…………etc..etc….

      Adores: 5
  17. 2013 May 29

    “CALL ME OF TEXT”
    Can I call you Ishmael instead?

    And I don’t know what Suicide Girl (a pin-up company that specializes in ladies with tattoos and piercings… as you could tell) photos have to do with that mediocre car.

    Adores: 2
    • 2013 May 29
      MissMommyNiceNice permalink

      Obviously someone’s been labeling their spank bank with clever secret names like “car1″ and ” prelude” ( although to what I don’t want to know!)

      * corner, beverage *

      Adores: 2
  18. 2013 May 30

    C””J!C””J!C””J!C””J!C””J! (Gosh, that’s fun to do!) Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, Minty Shellers!

    Adores: 1

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