YSaC, Vol. 1528: Communication breakdown.
Regular readers know that part of our mission here at YSaC is to bring people together for mutually beneficial arrangements.* Today, we focus on the pesky need for help with communication.
Real Writing Job
We need help now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This cont wait.
Obviously, the seventeen exclamation marks indicates that this person is serious about their help-related needs. And the misspelling of can’t makes me read this whole thing in a British accent, which makes it even more serious. So since it is my mission to help people,* I think I’ve found just the person!
PAPER LADY
hello are you stuck writing a paper within the criminal justice/grantwriting or business arean? Meet me at a proposed coffees shop of my choice and with my laptop in hand we will get it done.Please do not reply to ad if you are not serious of this ad. I charge very low fees cash only.
Well, Sparky was serious about his exclamation marks, but I don’t know if he’s serious of this ad. But the Paper Lady cont be worse than Sparky, right?*
Thanks for the ads, Kim and Danielle!*
*This may not actually be true.
Here at the Snark Lounge, our mission is to make ourselves feel better by laughing and pointing at silly Sparkys*. Pull up a corner, have a coffee slice, and forget your troubles. You cont do better than that!
*This may not be true**.
**Okay, yes, it actually is.
I get a warm, tingly feeling all over every time I’m in the Lounge. I also twitch a lot. (The massive quantities of caffeine might have something to do with that last part.)
* Asterisk all the things!
I suspect both posts are from a teacher(s) at my school. Remember the film Mad Max? That is a fair representation of current student behaviour, 3 days before the end of classes. “We need help now!!!!!!!!!!” And the second post is from a teacher(s) looking for summer work. Yes…..I know…….(sigh) spelling ,grammar, and punctuation errors acknowledged….this is typical of many teachers today……..(another, longer sigh) I feel so alone……May I join you to beverage in the lounge, Windy?
Pull up a corner and sit down! What type of beveraging are you doing?
What you got????
Are you corrupting youth again, Windy?
Thanks ghostie!!! I haven’t been referred to as “youth” in a lonnnnnng time. It feels strangely invigorating.
If you like, I could also shake my cane at you while telling you to get off my lawn. 🙂
I’m a bit nervous about Paper Lady. I suspect she might be a member of the Arean Brotherhood. But at least she wants to meet in a coffees shop, not one of those places that only serves one type of coffee. And I really want to see her hold her laptop in one hand and type on it with the other. I am really serious of that.
At this point it’s only a proposed coffees shop, which means it’s either a vacant lot, or it’s about to merge with a deli and move to a food court.
And you have to read her mind to determine which coffees shop is her choice. This is her test of the worth of your need.
I can think of worse vowels they could have typo-ed.
Well, you’re just a cont, mudslicker.
I’m just a girl who cont say… that other word.
So, use the con
te of silence.I cent wait.
I cint understand what you mean, you cynt be implying anything cn you?
mudsy – I think you mean:
Every time I hear that, I am reminded of “rich, Corinthian leather” [as opposed to “Paul’s letter to rich Corinthians.”]
Hears a sample of my wording, Sparky McNeeds.
“A Proposed Coffees Shop is currently under a curt order, of the business arean type, to seize and resist using ‘coffees’ in there name do too infringement open the write of Starbux to youse all shop names haveing the word ‘coffee’ innit.”
So due I get the job?
You’re hard!
Hey Sparky No1: I can writing! Let me help!
It was a frigid late December when I paid a call upon my friend in his offices at Baker Street. It was a dark and stormy night. Call me Ishmael. They were all a bunch of phoneys. So it goes. Jim said that bees won’t sting idiots, but I didn’t believe that, because I tried them lots of times myself and they wouldn’t sting me. But, raring upon his mighty steed, he rushed down into the valley in pursuit of his imagined army, and fell upon the flock of sheep with such force that the shepherds stood transfixed in amazement until one heaved a rock at hand and felled the valiant Don Quixote where he stood. “Will all great Neptune’s Ocean cleanse this blood from my hand? Man,” I cried, “how ignorant art thou in thy pride of wisdom!” So it goes.
Their you are! With this you cannot fail; they were written by the greatest writers of the English Language and also Shakespeare. I’m going to go beverage now.
You missed:
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”
It was the fairest of times. It was the wheels of time.
I’m a day late.
OMV- better nate than lever….oh darn!!!…my dyslexia is flaring up.
Don’t worry, in my deluxe service, you get your Wordsworth.
It’s BOO-kay, y’daft cant–ahnd, we have things written for us; no common labour here!
Starbucks: The Wrath of Cont.
COOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!
This is the laziest attempt at a Cockney accent I’ve ever seen. Aside from maybe the Van Dike version, which was imported from Australia and then feloniously repackaged by hoodlums.
In the criminal justice system, the paper lady is represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the grantwriting, who proposed coffees shop; and the business arean, who charge very low fees cash only.
These are their stories. DUN DUN.
ghostie, I spent all the money I found in the couch cushions in the lounge to buy you these cat toy! (Another quarter and I would have had a whole dollar.) Punchity Punch Punch!
Good morning, Channel D’Oh!