YSaC, Vol. 1546: ppl r ppl.
im tired of ppl askin for free stuff (everywhere)
Im tired of ppl askin for free stuff ppl need make money to u taken r stuff in wat u think we u take it tht we fell gud yea only for tht day in then still broke ass Hell u ppl just need to stop askin for free stuff damn we need make a livein to Damn
There are a lot of people asking for free stuff on Craigslist. Luckily, there are also people giving away things for free. And sometimes, it’s even things you might want.
Free Hormel Bacon
160 pounds of Hormel bacon that I need to get rid of. I am moving across the country on Monday and cannot bring my frozen bacon stash with me. Come pick it upfor free.
… and sometimes, it isn’t.
“””FREE “STUD” SERVICE””” – m4w
Tired of the “boys” Tired of the “men” “YOU” Diserve the “BEST” “HOOK UP” to a “STUD” and “FEEL” Like a “REAL WOMAN” oh “YOU” “REALLY” need a GOOD fucking,,,,,,,,, TRY A “STUD FUCKATHON” the “UTIMATE” sexual “Pleasure”………. e=mail me,put……”STUD” or “STUD FUCKATHON” in your message.Skinny or chubby,,”NO” Fat women…..”You Know Why” so come on Ladies lets have some fun.”LETS GET IT ON”always worked for marvin gay,,LOL send your picture and info,see ya soon
Thanks, Todd, Kim, and William!
ppl, ppl who nd ppl, r teh lukest ppl n teh wld.
Let my ppl go.
Bacon. It’s not just for breakfast any more.
I didn’t think you could post an ad with fuck or fuckathon in it. Complete: 1 edjumacation!
I wonder if it’s anything like a truckathon where they erect a big tent, serve free food, have a bouncy castle for the kids, and invite the public in to ogle the new models.
Only the “erect”, “bouncy” and “ogle” parts.
Ppl r ppl, so y shd it b,
U r always asking 4 free stuff from me?
So I’ve got all this bacon,
And I’m such a good stud,
But I’m worried that this ad
Will just fall down with a thud.
‘Cause I’m moving ‘cross the country
Today, and that’s just that,
So you should eat up all my bacon
But without getting fat.
I don’t get the gist
Of this Cragslist.
Sparkies’ minds in a mist.
Help my brain untwist.
Free to a good electronic home: vowels. Will consider taking quotation marks in trade.
im tired of ppl askin for free vowels im alrdy out of pnctution mrks nd now im almst no mre gud vowls damn broke ass Hell u ppl need to just stop askin damn we need to make livein to damn r stuff…..”””FREE “STUD” SERVICE”””…that”””s where all the “”””punctuation””””marks”””” went!!!!!!!!! damn ppl-athon !!!!!!
Because Sparky McDouchecanoe fails at detecting irony as well as life in general?
No body types accepted.
Brains in jars will be considered with good references.
And they must be in skinny jars.
Skinny pickle jars.
You would pretty much have to be pickled to answer Sparky’s ad.
We pickle in the Snark Lounge. Beverage, anyone?
Beverage me, Archie! It’s gonna be a long day.
Come sit by me, Ghostie. I have a lovely bottle of sparkling beverage already opened and taste-tested!
We can watch all the ppl go by…
May Sparky end up in “ass Hell”.
Broke Ass Hell is IF’s King Crimson budget Bat Mitzvah cover band.
Don’t you mean “Broke Ass Hell is IF’$%@King Crimson budget Bat Mitzvah cover band.”?
Actually, “I Don’t Know Why.”
With that much bacon, we could make a Bacontini the size of a swimming pool!
Uh. . . Where would we put it?
Our livers?
Mmm….. liver and bacon. Or blehh…… liver and bacon.
That would be a Baconmaxi.
Maybe it’s just me but that makes me think of a certain feminine hygiene product, only made of bacon.
:shudders:
There are just some things bacon should not be combined with.
Sorry ghostfeline, ANYTHING and EVERYTHING is better with bacon!!!!(…panting…)…even a,.. uh,.. you know,.. one of those.
I will agree to disagree, because Ewww.
No matter how hard I try, I cannot parse this portion of the first post: “to u taken r stuff in wat u think we u take it tht ”
I think it’s a code. Or maybe the flu.
I’m thinking something as follows:
Taco has taken it from Stud to Shakespeare.
Or Studspeare.
I donated to the Jerry Lewis FUCKATHON once, I didn’t feel very good about myself afterwards though.
HE LIED! *sob*
I heard that the size of the venue was quite a bit overstated.
I heard they blamed the discrepancy on a thermostat that was set too low.
So “chubby” is okay, but not “fat”? Where is the line drawn, exactly?
Also, I don’t trust someone who uses that many quotation marks.
I’m picturing a rack like the one they put your luggage in at the airport to determine if it’s too big to take as carry-on, or possibly Sparky has a t-shit with two parallel lines on it and says “Your ass must be at least this narrow to ride this ride” or something similar.
No, I do not know why–but, I strongly suspect it has to do with an unsupportable supposition that 75mm = 8″; & that “thon” means a span of time > 90 seconds.
But I may be jaded, too.
So if you’re “Marvin Gay”, but you get it on with a lot of women, do you go to “Ass Hell”? I bet there’s no “bacon” there.
P.S. “”” “”” “”” “” “”” “”” “”” “””
im tird of 1 id 1 hrnd flng ppl ppl etrs.
How could you EVER get tired of an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini???? That just doesn’t make any sense….
Or an itsy bitsy spider going up
herthe water spout.I’m tired of rnnin. I’m tired of nt slepng.
I’m still coping with the term ‘bacon stash’.
The other two posts are just normal Sparkys with delusional traits and are doolally.
That way I can face the rest of the day with equanimity.
Equanimity is looking forward to our being together – we’re not going to see any ppl just have a baconathon or a fuckstash whichever is the easiest.
A baconathon sounds pretty good, provided there’s a bypass surgeon on standby.
I read that as baconathong. Spellchecker put some red frilly lace on the lower hem. Black and red is a good lingerie color combo.
Not just any bacon stash, it’s a FROZEN bacon stash. Expect unfrozen caveman lawyer to come back for it any day now.
As for fuckstash, isn’t that just another name for an ironic hipster moustache?
Translation of Sparky The First:
I would have moved this case of Gerbets if you jerkwads weren’t insisting that “Free” was your best offer. I gotta pay rent too, assholes. It was that or pay for my English course, and which one keeps the rain off your head?
Translation of Sparky The Second:
Iiiiiiiit’s BACON! Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon! Eat it by the pound! Crunch it by the dozen! Bathe in its holy grease and exalt in the glory that is BACON!
Translation of Sparky The Third:
Shirley won’t sleep with me any more because I’m a “giant useless tool” so now I’m lashing out with my wounded ego to hide the fact that I secretly fear she’s right.
And if you combine the three;
I would have moved this case of Gerbets if you jerkwads weren’t insisting that “Free” was your best offer. Iiiiiiiit’s BACON! Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon! Crunch it by the dozen! I gotta pay rent too, assholes. Shirley won’t sleep with me any more because I’m a “giant useless tool” so now I’m lashing out with my wounded ego to hide the fact that I secretly fear she’s right. It was that or pay for my English course, and which one keeps the rain off your head? Bathe in its holy grease and exalt in the glory that is BACON!
Meh, emailing just doesn’t do it for me any more. Although I still enjoy an attachment once in awhile.
“…wat u think we u take it tht ….”
no. i think, thrfr i m. thr is no “u” in “i.”
tht’s all, folks.
“Wl” dn, Rlph
So what does Sparky II do after spending the night at a La Quinta?
He brings home the bacon!
If I parse “Diserve” correctly, does that mean he serves in two parts?
Severe increase in the EWWWW factor.
nojazzie, Hammy, mi casa est su casa, my box is. . . uh . . .Squirrel! Punchity Punch Punch!
Gd Mrng, PPL!
Can the ad featuring the free bacon be traced back to Jim Gaffigan by chance?