YSaC, Vol. 1566: Everybody’s had Faith. You gotta try Faith.
100.00 REWARD
GET A PICTURE OR CATCH A VIDIO OF THE GIRL DOWN THE ROAD THE ONE THATS EASY YOU BOYS KNOW OR BRIAN OR TAMMY OR THE PEOPLE ACROSS THE STREET CATCH THEM IN THE ACT PUTTING ROUNDUP OR WHAT EVER THAT MAKES MY DOGS AND CATS SICK ON MY LAWN I WILL GIVE YOU 100.00 CASH NO QUESTIONS ASKED. IF YOU GET A VIDIO I WILL PAY YOU 150.00
Oh, the girl down the street that’s easy? Sure, everyone knows her. Why, she’s like a community bicycle — anyone can have a ride. Even Brian and Tammy, and the people across the street.
What? Not that girl, down that street? Oh, maybe you meant the other girl, down the other street? The one that’s like the Bermuda Triangle, because she swallows a lot of … oh, not her, either? Too bad, I’ve already got a few videos of her where she … *cough* oh, never mind. But I still can’t figure out how she did the thing with the sheep and the trampoline.
Thanks, Greg!
I’m just going straight to the corner, humming Losing my Religion, and handing out fresh coffee slices. Happy Monday!
:pokes coffee slice:
This doesn’t have Round-up on it, does it? I don’t want to be sick on Sparky’s lawn.
My coffee slice looks a tad green…
Could be grass clippings.
Good thing I brought a cube of soda for backup.
Who wants a pic of the girl who is easy
And puts those creepy ads on Craigslist?
Who has delusions that involve Roundup?
Everyone knows it’s Sparky.
VIDIO thy name is Jupiter…
I believe I just heard the sound of a radio star* dying.
I hope it was Rush Limbaugh.
*this is absolutely a relative term
VIDIO killed the radio star?
Old MacSparky had a lawn
VID-I, VID-I-O
And on this lawn he had a cat
VID-I, VID-I-O
With hurk, hurk here
And a hurk, hurk there
Here a hurk
There a hurk
Everywhere a hurk, hurk
Old MacSparky had a lawn
VID-I, VID-I-O
And on this lawn he had a dog
VID-I, VID-I-O
With a gag , gag here
And a gag, gag there
Here a gag There a gag
Everywhere a gag, gag
Old MacSparky had a lawn
VID-I, VID-I-O
And on this lawn he had a girl
VID-I, VID-I-O
With a ….
*Corner dammit!*
Aaw, but I wanna know what the girl saaaiiid!
VID-I, VID-I-NO
Sorry, Sparky, it’s not the neighbors; it’s the space aliens. Don’t let your pets out without their aluminum foil hats, and don’t forget your own.
Or get your own game camera — they’re motion activated for photos or video, and even take pictures of humans. And little green women.
Listen Sparkster, if you know which neighbor it is, just take your dog and/or cat over and let it do its dirty work all over their yard. And the circle of petty behavior is complete.
Geez, what’s up with kids and their Roundup these days? I remember back in the day, we used to put bags of flaming dog poo on the neighbor’s porch. But Roundup? Man, that’s just cruel.
Flaming Roundup is IF’s Alabama cover band.
I woulda said the Village People.
Iggy Pop doing Garth Brooks covers.
Brava! Brava!
My first thought was Billy Ray Cyrus–particularly for his being his own cover band nowadays . . .
O.K., first of all, if someone is putting Round-Up on your lawn, the grass is going to be a WHOLE LOT sicker than your dog or cat… in fact it won’t be sick..it will be DEAD!!!!!…OT…Faith was always my favorite character on Buffy. She was good (but snarky) then bad (still snarky) then EVIL!!!!(and snarkiest) but then came back good again.(still snarky)…then she helped save the world. Plus she wasn’t a cheerleader, a conflicted lesbian, or a platinum-blonde vampire. And, she could have kicked the Village People’s asses!!!!!
My name is Corey and I approve this message. The first part, anyway.
http://sandwalk.blogspot.com/2007/03/how-roundup-works.html
Roundup is not as harmless as Monsanto advertises. Has Sparky been snorting it?
Only a sparkii would use Roundup on a lawn for malicious purposes and not write rude things into the turf.
[corey]Roundup works on “green” things by exploiting an open chemical “keyhole” in that chemistry. This is what makes it a perfect tool for coping with plants in paving joints; but less so for edging. If the plant is genetically modified to close the “keyhole”, then it can be bathed in RoundUp, and will not be affected (any other present green things will snuff it, though).
The dirty little secret, though, is that a person with white vinegar and a few other household ingredients can make a near-exact replica of RoundUp, which will work near-identically in household use.[/corey]
It’s a trick. This person doesn’t care about his lawn. He doesn’t have pets that get sick. He just wants pics of somebody because he’s heard there’s an easy girl in the neighborhood and he wants to know exactly who she is so he can get some action. Too bad, he doesn’t know she doesn’t go for basement-dwelling gamers.
Yancy, that was my very first thought.
Ok, I need to [rant] here just a tad.
People who set out tainted or poisoned food for others’ pets do not deserve the protections of humanity. In fact, they ought be made to prove, beyond a reasonable doubt that they are, in fact, human, before being treated to such leniency.
That being said, anyone making accusations of indiscriminate animal cruelty ought be held to an equally high standard. Which ought include the ability to spell “video” correctly.
Particularly as a person can buy a passive low-light camera for this sort of surveillance for well under a c-note (which could be more difficult if they insist on spelling the retail chain “Acadime” or Whallmort” or the like).
[/rant]
I’ve never wanted to get a vidio, I’ve heard you need many treatments of pecilcillin afterwards.
So this pretty much ends with Sparky tied naked to a lawn chair with his feet bound and shoved in a 5-gallon bucket of Round-Up then, right?
Sunday Crew! Punchity Punch Punch! Hammy, you are spending way too much time in the box these days. Maybe for Beesmas we can all chip in and get you a life!
Good Morning, Better Living Through Chemistry!