YSaC, Vol. 1572: The Sparky Parade.
need ron and lets dance
HELLO, DON’T KNOW HOW TO QUITE PUT THIS BUT, WOMEN ARE NORMALLY MORE TRUSTWORTHY THAN MEN…. I AM JUST LOOKING FOR A COOL WOMEN THAT HAS A CONNECT WITH “Some Choo Choo Train” ……..I enjoy riding horses BROWN horses that are as fast as a choo choo train are my favorite SO THAT IT CAN HELP OUT WITH THE PAIN AND YOUR MORE THAN WELCOME TO JOIN ME IN ~MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE~ IF IT HELPS I AM ATTRACTIVE…I DO NOT DRIVE…Your must come to me with…also we can split and share fees or just part our own ways at the barnyard….Compensation: sharing….depending on how friendly and goodlooking the woman is that has fun i
I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Oh, great … another thinly veiled Craigslist post looking for drugs.” But I have a different theory! I think this is the lead singer from My Chemical Romance looking for new band members. Let me explain. No, there is no time. Let me sum up.
1. This was posted in the Talent section.
2. My Chemical Romance broke up in early 2013.
3. Ummmm … Profit?!?
Yeah, I kind of ran out of theories there. Anyway, if you’re looking for an attractive heroin addict who doesn’t drive … I would suggest you reconsider your terrible life choices that have brought you to that point.
Thanks, MS!
Wait, hold everything! My Chemical Romance broke up?? Oh, my agony! I — I need a moment here. *sob* Sorry, peeps, carry on.
Who will the angst-ridden teens of the world write bad songfics about now?!?
Oh the huge manatee!
Wait, that was yesterday’s post, wasn’t it?
Sigh…story of my life, day late and a chemical short.
One Direction, apparently.
My youngest niece told me she is going to marry One Direction, when I asked her which member she just looked at me and said “All of them.” She’s really good at sharing things, but I think polyandry is going a bit too far.
When I was
A young ron
I didn’t
Know how to quite put this, but
I don’t know how to drive
I know
I can
Trust women
More than men
At least when riding horses
Brown horses, choo choo train
If it
Helps, I’m
Attractive
Come to me
And we can split or share fees
Or part at the barnyard
So that
It can
Help out with
The pain, and
Your more than welcome to join
My Chemical Romance
…said Cap’n Kirk…
4. Nope, I was right all along. This is a
horribly wordedthinly veiled post looking for drugs…in all the wrong places.I was convinced it was a “will pay for (very) kinky sex” ad, until I did some google-fu. This has been on a couple different CL, latest was Richmond under Strictly Platonic, and is “deleted m=by author.”
So, I’ve decided I’m just going to think about something soft and fuzzy–like stellar physics, or, flip channels and watch cuddly sharks.
[nrnrnrnrnrnrnrnrnrnrrnr]
Attractive heroin addicts who don’t drive and can’t write and their quest for romance, next on Sick, Sad World.
I DO NOT DRIVE…Your must come to me…
Your WHAT must come to me? Inquiring minds want to know!
This imaginative mind does not want to know, I already fear the answer.
I am still trying to figure out which Ron is going to dance with Sparky.
Ron Weasley?
Ron Paul?
Ron Howard?
Ron DMC ??
Da-doo-Ron-Ron?
Ron Jeremy?
I’m not sure my arms are long enough for that.
Wednesday is tomorrow, and yesterday was “Jill”?
Ron, ron, ron, ron, ron away….
Ron Popeil.
Only if he has BROWN spray-on-hair.
L. Ron Hubbard (deceased)
ZombRon
Wait, drugs?… Oops. I was so wrapped up in trying to figure out what the hell kind of kinky hooker-soliciting sexual innuendo this is that it didn’t even occur to me that it isn’t kinky hooker-soliciting sexual innuendo. I’ll just go take my place in the corner now.
“HELLO…….WOMEN ARE NORMALLY MORE TRUSTWORTHY THAN MEN…” Do you mean “MORE GULLIBLE” ???? I’m with M., I think Sparky’s looking to TRADE chemicals for deviant affection…”PAINFUL” deviant affection…requiring chemicals to blunt said pain…The worst part is, Spark’s probably been flooded with responses…save me a spot in the corner- I take cream and sugar with my slice…
Also… YAY for Princess Bride reference in commentary. My day is complete.
I thought it was Rainman looking for a girlfriend…
Is choo choo train a Train Spotting reference? I got Horse and Brown… kids these days. Mixing their metaphors with impunity.
MissMommy…I think kids are mixing their metaphors with alcohol, as well. Plus that impunity substance…
The sporadic screeching nature of this as makes me think Sparky was getting his balls slaughtered while he wrote this.
How Now Brown…
I think I can. I think I can. I…
I got nothing.
Some Choo Choo Train is the name of my Grand Funk Railroad cover band.
(parenthetical [corey] GFR giving me high school audio flashbacks–FTW [/corey])
Hmm, “I’m Your American Choo Choo”?
Sorry, I’m all out of Rons
I’m all out of Ron’s, I’m so lost without brew
I know you were right, connect for so long
I’m all out of Ron’s, what am I a choo-choo?
It can’t be too late to say I was so wrong
HamCan…Air Supply, right? Or if you’d rather not say, I understand…
Ralph and Dave, what’s all this white powder on the floor of the box? On second thought, I don’t want to know. Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Ronnie Spector!
It’s not what you’re thinking, Windy. It’s totally anthrax.
Oh, that’s a relief! 8)