lots of cool crapucant live without
everything
Pop quiz, hotshot.
“Crapucant” refers to:
1. The longtime congresscritter from Youngstown whose catch phrase was “Beam Me Up!”
2. A large prehistoric fish, long thought to be extinct, recently discovered living off Madagascar.
3. A bird of the family Phalacrocoracidae.
4. IF’s Dandy Highwayman cover band.
Thanks for the post, Kelly!
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5. The capital planet of the galaxy before the capital was relocated to Coruscant. “Lots of cool/Crapucant live without/everything” was one Beat poet’s suggested slogan for Coruscant, which the Senate of the Galactic Republic ultimately rejected.
6. Diagnosis for long-term constipation.
7. My high school math teacher who was disappointed when I sneaked by with a D and she couldn’t flunk me.
8. A Pushmi-pullyu by any other name…
9. An inferior replicant, easily identified as non-human due to its shoddy bioengineering.
Did she work that out with a
PECILpencil?10. The most exciting game about plumbing through the ages since The Sims:RotoRooter edition.
11. The reciprocal of the sine of a right triangle?
12. A species of South American monkey?
I was thinking geometricant, but couldn’t make a joke about a left triangle.
13. All of the above (and below).
14. I like pie!
Well, you’re crapucant and you’re crapudo. Life is full of mystery and paradox. And everything. When all else fails, there’s always everything in this crapulant existence.
It is a tale told by a toilet, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
So close, I was looking for some crapedos for my propane sub.
My closets are full of crapucant, I am looking for whatthehellisthisfor to round out my collection.
*rummages through closet*
L-squared, I’ve got a couple of whatthefeckisthis’. They’re yours if you want them.
I have some don’t-hickeys.
And I have a flatucant live without. It’s a flatulease.
So if I borrow that, it will be a flatulent.
crapucant.is.craptacular!!!!!!
I got a gal who’s always late
Her diet makes her constipate
But I love her, yes, I love her.
I offered her some Ex-lax, mate
But still, she has not gone of late
So through the bathroom door I ask her.
Crapucan or crapucant my baby
The way you’re actin’ lately makes me doubt
Crapucan or crapucant my baby
Get this done and then we can go out.
Crapucan, however, is NOT cool!
See, if those Frainchies had just been paying attention, they’d of left ol’ Napolean on the isle of Crapucant instead of Corsucan.
History would have been very, very different.
Unfortunately, “Tnacuparc was I ere I saw Crapucant” is the world’s worst palindrome.
The voices in my head are arguing:
Corsucan…..crapucant
Corsican……crapicant.
Nobody’s winning yet.
Aw, I was looking for a room temperature crapucant. And I only need a little bit. Darn, so close, back to trolling the lists.
I had to wikipedia Phalacrocoracidae. It’s birds that are either cormorants or shags. One of the pictures is of an Imperial shag.
My first thought seeing the name Imperial shag was if I were Prince William I’d get an Imperial shag stuffed. That way I could give Kate an imperial shag whenever I wanted to, even in public.
The corner looks a little different since last I visited. Did you guys carpet? I hope you didn’t shop for decorative ideas on CL.
Yancy, we get all our lounge and corner furnishings on CL. Also, Imperial Shag is my Queen/David Bowie mash up tribute traveling crapucant show!
[corey] I do believe one has to be an Emperor to give an Imperial shag. I think the best William could aspire to would be a Majestic shag… [/corey]
[reverse corey]My copy of Merriam-Webster has three definitions for imperial. The following are the three definitions in their entirety.
[/reverse corey]
Of course there are other shags to be given that would fit the situation, some increasing the suggestive-wink factor. There’s the King shag. The European shag, also known as the Common shag, for when Kate wants to give one. She could also get either a fossil or artwork representing an extinct cormorant for when she just doesn’t feel up to giving a shag after a day of chasing Prince George around the pram. I’m sure there’ll never be a time that one gives the other a spotted shag.
The sin never sets on the British Imperial Shag.
(pssst shouldn’t it be IF’s Dirty Dustbins cover band?)
Puddle of Mudd.
This guy says he’s got all types of cool crapucant, but I’m skeptical. The last time I contacted a craigslister who said he had everything, it turned out he only had a few things. I’m hoping this guy has a mauve crapucant. It’d look great holding up my bedazzled deer hoof coat hangers.
Hmm, wonder if Spark’ meant “LYE v” or “leh V” for “live”?
My money being on salmon-kumquat tartare, just like it’s spelt.
CSI: What do we have here?
Detective: Looks like we have a dead Sparky.
CSI: Do we know the cause of death?
Detective: As far as we can tell, someone took his crapucant live without. Apparently he put an ad on craigslist.
CSI: So he did this to himself. We’ll call this a sewercide.
Ow! Ouchie! Oh, it hurts! And the pun was pretty bad, too!
Pun?
YEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!
You can post everything on crapulist.
I googled yousuckatcrapulist and YSaC was the top of the listucant live without.
Edit: May have been more appropriate to look for youstinkatcrapulist.
Hark! Mercurio, make thee haste to
Thy cousin Romeo anon!
Bid him ware that there are
Crapulents beyond number afoot
Bent to cutpurse any Montague fiound
In gross venge for fair Julie’s diddling.
Mark ye well to brace bodkin and codpiece
Afore you go, lest a fig be knocked
About thy strap and everything.
This is a crapton of fairly high class and obscure literature references for such a sh!tty subject.
It’s pronounced kræ-PYU-sɛnt.
Crapucant is a perfectly cromulent word. Cormorants, on the other hand, are messy birds I can live without; any resemblance is purely superfishal.
And superfishal brings us back to 2. A large prehistoric fish, long thought to be extinct, recently discovered living off Madagascar.
Funny, I always thought crapucant lived within, and crapucan lived without.
Cap’n “Will Shakespeare” Mac, shall I compare thee to a Sparky-free day? Thou art more humorous and sh– stuff. Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Congresscritters!