YSaC, Vol. 1598: Album 1598

2013 September 11

looking for


im in need of house hold thing and use carpet redoing my places cant of fored much pluse looking for pluse sizes clothing and some kids cloth and out door toys and things to sit on pluse stuff for my places like a couch and some othere stuff if u have stuff u like to dontaed or just get ride of i be glade to take it off your hands pluse also looking for some birds or a reel smal dog i will give them lots of love . i dont drive at this time pluse looking for a swiming pool so when the grandkis come they can have fun at grandmas if have any qustions please call or texts me at ###-###-#### . i mean a smal dog please no meadom or big thank u all so much

I’m in need of a house hold thing,
A house hold thing needs me.
I’ll take a small dog off your hands,
Any questions you can please texts me.

Well I’m not worried about grandkis,
I know they’ll be good boys.
They’ll be great swimers ’cause I’ll have a pool
And play with all the out door toys.

With profound apologies to Leslie Braunstein, and thanks to Wendy for the post.

30 Responses leave one →
  1. 2013 September 11
    One Moving Violation permalink

    Okay, lets start by taking the “e” off of the end of pluse and place it at the end of cloth. Next, let’s just forget it. Once I saw “of fored”, my mind slipped out of gear and now I’m stuck. Would someone mind giving me a push?

    Adores: 9
    • 2013 September 11

      *hooks One up to the Brain De-Fib-U-Lator (R)*

      STAND BACK! *throws switch*

      ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!

      Oh, wow! Uh, clean-up in the lounge, stat!

      Adores: 1
      • 2013 September 11
        Brer Fox permalink

        A mind is a terrible thing

        Adores: 4
    • 2013 September 11
      CapnMac permalink

      Alas, poor HoratioOMV,
      Onst hathe onlie “pushe” t’offer;
      Pray prithee forgive such meagre
      An’ meane offring.

      Adores: 2
  2. 2013 September 11
    One Moving Violation permalink

    This looks like something I might have written when I was heavily medicated. That is about the only reasonable explanation I can come up with. Of course, we usually don’t deal with reasonable here.

    Adores: 3
  3. 2013 September 11
    Ralph permalink

    I have an extra shift key, spellchecker, and various punctuation marks I’d like to dontae. Unfortunately my reel is only good for smal catfish, not dogs.

    Adores: 8
  4. 2013 September 11
    MissMommyNiceNice permalink

    What if e e cummings posted stream of consciousness poetry on craigslist?

    Adores: 9
  5. 2013 September 11
    MizScarrlett permalink

    Perhaps Sparkie from the other day may have a chance to unload… er dontae his swining pool… oh, but she is looking for a swiming pool.

    Adores: 2
  6. 2013 September 11

    “Reel Smal Dog” is the name of my Reel Big Fish cover band.

    Adores: 5
    • 2013 September 11
      MissMommyNiceNice permalink

      I was going to go with:
      reel small dog is the name of my Reel Big Fish/Dr Dog mashup band.

      Adores: 1
    • 2013 September 11
      nojazzhere permalink

      Sorry guys….I’ve already taken “reel small dog” for my Trout Fishing in America tribute band. But if you like, you can use (as inspired by this post) “Segue…What’s a Segue?” ….(said breathlessly)

      Adores: 5
  7. 2013 September 11
    Ralph permalink

    O/T: Happy Birthday to Windrose, who is 26 today.

    Adores: 10
    • 2013 September 11
      nojazzhere permalink

      Happy Craigslist to you..
      Happy Craigslist to you..
      Happy Craigslist and sucking..
      Happy Craigslist to you…..

      and……

      You are my Windy, my only Windy…
      You make me chirpy, when posts are gray.
      You’ll never know dear, how much we love you,
      please don’t take the sucking away…..(oh dear, that sounds so wrong)

      Adores: 14
      • 2013 September 11
        MissMommyNiceNice permalink

        Dirty birdy! And I mean you, jazzy, not windy!

        Adores: 2
    • 2013 September 11

      Thank you all for the grate comments! 8) You make getting older a lot of fun.

      Adores: 3
    • 2013 September 11
      CapnMac permalink

      Bite your tongue!
      She’s not a day older than 25!

      Adores: 2
  8. 2013 September 11

    I really don’t like to dontaed. Last time I tried, I got a wicked rash.

    Adores: 5
  9. 2013 September 11

    Dear Sparkie/Sparkette of Questionable Intelligence,

    For ‘cloths’ you can ‘of fored’ and ‘pluse’ all the other things you need, please take your ample-sized tukus to the nearest Sprawl-Mart forthwith.

    You may even find a ‘reel smal not meadom’ dog there. Just look for the open hatchback or dropped tailgate on a vehicle surrounded by people of questionable lineage oohing and ahhing.

    Sincerely,
    Xenia Recordia, Keeper of Figtail Feifings and;
    Lokul Tur Gide

    Adores: 4
  10. 2013 September 11
    CapnMac permalink

    Emanual Kant wase a reale pissant
    Who was varie rarely stable.
    Eidecker, Eindecker hath boosie beggare
    Wha caud drink thy undre table.

    Oh, fornicate the penguin on the tv!
    tl:dr

    Adores: 5
    • 2013 September 11
      nojazzhere permalink

      Capn….is the “penguin on the TV” another Monty Python reference???? (added to the larch and lumberjack sketches) I feel so at home.

      Adores: 3
  11. 2013 September 11
    DigitalAxis permalink

    All I need is everything

    Adores: 3
    • 2013 September 11
      MissMommyNiceNice permalink

      Except a meadom or large

      Adores: 3
    • 2013 September 11
      SilvaNoir permalink

      All I need is a miracle

      or was it all I need is love? Love is all I need?

      Adores: 2
  12. 2013 September 11
    KatyCat permalink

    So much broken I don’t know where to start.
    The notion of a reel small dog struck me as an amusing picture. I can’t photoshop, I’m technologically deficient, but this is the twenty-first century. Surely someone on the internet already read my mind and made one…?
    Believe it or not “reel dog” is a google search fill-in. I didn’t quite get the kind of reel that I was expecting, but there’s plenty of images out there of “reel dog”s. I even found a cute one of a dog that must surely be small. However, I’ve completely forgotten how to include links without breaking the stylesheet, and it’s not nearly cute enough to justify that.

    As for a house hold thing: I believe you can make those yourself if you have a shovel, lots of concrete, and plenty of time.

    Adores: 1
  13. 2013 September 11
    Demon Duck of Doom permalink

    If I give you some birds, how do I know you won’t stuff them in your places?

    Adores: 2
    • 2013 September 11
      KatyCat permalink

      ? Isn’t that what birds are for? Stuffing? Or is that only unthawed birds.

      Adores: 3
      • 2013 September 11
        zero.nada.none. permalink

        ….and gerbils?….

        Adores: 3
  14. 2013 September 12

    Silva and TC, Congrats on spending such a special day in the box. You are the present I forgot to open, but that’s all in the past, the future looks bright! Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, Out Door Toys!

    Adores: 0

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