YSaC, Vol. 1631: Hoos Johnny?
2013 November 25
Need Hoosier – $1
Trade gun stuff for it Call Johnny ###-###-#### anything old 38” to 42.5 inches wide .
Wait, what? You’re trading “gun stuff” (I don’t want to know) for a Hoosier?
Let’s see – what could this person ACTUALLY want?
* An Indiana basketball fan
* An Indiana basketball PLAYER
* A copy (possibly on Betamax) of a certain Gene Hackman movie
* A fan of the much less well known BBC series, “Dr. Hoo”
* A craftsman who makes nylon stockings.
* They’re Hoosy now, but could be Hoosier.
* ???
* Profit!
What do you think? You know where the comments are! (In case you don’t know where the comments are, they’re down a few lines. Under the link to the last post and the “share this” bar. (Have you shared a post today?))
Thanks, Kit!
Hoosiers live down in Hooville, where the Grunch is preparing to steal Thanksgiving!
Oh yes, it is time for my meds, why do you ask?
And by Grinch, I assume you mean Wal-Mart?
Irregular Fractal, the one, the only IF, the manager of all the great cover/tribute/totally fictional bands in the world! Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Gun Stuffers!
He’s looking for a copy of a song from the late sixties, known or the lyrics “What’s your name, Hoosier daddy?” The dimensions refer to a recording medium that was supposed to revolutionize home entertainment but, oddly, didn’t.
I have some old 38″s laying around, but I’m not looking for a gun, stuffed or otherwise. Thanksgiving is coming, maybe you have an expired half-frozen sidewalk turkey you can part with?
Mmmmm, sidewalk turkey. Just like Momma used to make!
There’s some wild turkeys that gather under my birdfeeder. If you can grab one, it’s yours.
There’s a flock near my parents’ house that like to wander across the road. If you hit one with your car, you can keep it.
Really? You measure age in inches? Really? Hoosier Teacher?
Trade gun stuff for a really huge vacuum cleaner? Nah, that deal would suck.
O.K….let’s break this post down to its individual elements and analyze carefully…
“Need Hoosier-$1″…..whatever this “Hoosier” refers to, it’s not expensive, worth only about one dollar.
“Trade gun stuff for it”….”stuff” isn’t very specific, but the “gun” part narrows it down a little.
“Call Johnny ###-###-####”….may or may not be his real name, but not important. (unless referencing “Johnny Got His Gun”..Hmmm?)
“anything old 38″ to 43.5 inches wide”….Johnny’s flexible about the ‘thing”, but very specific about its age and dimensions.
So, taking this all together, and applying careful deductive reasoning, we arrive at the conclusion that…well, uh, yeah, I got nothing….
Personally I’m not convinced that a 3-foot-wide old person would make an especially good basketball player. But maybe he’s embracing the whole underdog angle.
I have a tiny fluency in Midwestern, if limited to Du Page Co, IL, and Miami Co, IN.
“Gun stuff” in this sense, probably means cleaning solutions, paper targets, cleaning patches, and the like–items of about 1 dollar’s value.
The length is rather specific, but, there is simply no telling what characters Spark thumbed in that auto-correct made “hoosier.”
It could be “howitzer” is meant, but, in my present ailment-ravaged state, I’ve nothing to guess.
I imagine if you are target shooting with a howitzer, you’d need something more substantial that a paper target.
Like a baseketball team?
Sure Windy, I’d like a basketball team…got one???
Possibly an autocorrect of “holster”?
Genius!
It’s Johnny Appleseed looking for a holster for his friend Paul Bunyan’s howitzer!
Mystery solved.
Hoo doesn’t need a Howitzer
And I’ll let you choose your own closing punctuation for the above sentence.
I knew Hoo when Hoo wasn’t cool.(?)
A Hoosier is an old fashioned type of hutch. But usually it was for baking instead of displaying china. Good ones go for thousands.
Unless I missed the joke and you already know that. I am sick today so give me a break 🙂
You forgot the corey tags!
You forgot to mention which bone or bones you expect us to break! Deal’s off.
I call the toes!
38″ to 42″ fits the size of an adjustable holster . Not that I know anything about guns, Arctic clams is more like it…
I must thank you, Dan, for the neverending El Debarge earworm. Which leads me to:
‘Number 5 is… alive!’
(I’m such an 80’s child)
I’m in the same boat.
In that case, you should see the selfie that the Mars rover Curiosity took. It’s now his Facebook profile pic. https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=580643081985671&set=a.133197436730240.23875.110938085622842&type=1&theater
Maybe Sparky wants an old hoser 38” to 42.5 inches wide? It takes a lot of beer to achieve that girth; the shipping cost will be far more than a dollar. However, it depends on the trade: what kind of gun stuff? I could use some naval artillery for motorcycle week.
Hoosier first.
Watcher second.
I don’t know…
One, that’s a rather personal question.
I’m behind on my punching! I don’t usually mind getting a little behind. Uh. . . One Moving Violation, Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Zombies Fans!