YSaC, Vol. 1638: Raffi sells a towel rack

2013 December 11
by dan

This Wood Thing



For sale

This wood thing,
it played one,
it played knick knack on my thumb.
With a knick knack paddywhack,
give a dog a bone,
this old man came rolling home.

What? Why bother to write some sort of parody when the original song makes no goddamn sense whatsoever? Sort of like the ad itself, really, just longer. And with more nonsense words. And a dog. OK, nothing like the ad. Except that the ad doesn’t really make much sense either. Shouldn’t it include some reference as to the price of the object? Or the size? Or its intended use? Or what the hell a “paddywhack” is?

Oh well, thanks for the post, sd!

27 Responses leave one →
  1. 2013 December 11
    MissMommyNiceNice permalink

    This wood thing
    It’s for sale
    Probably made with some nails
    And a bunch of wooden dowels
    Just the thing for hanging towels
    Take it for free
    Or pay me twenty bucks
    What you get is what you see!

    Adores: 3
  2. 2013 December 11
    CapnMac permalink

    Ah, er, that looks to be a cloth diaper rack.
    Which are not much in current use.
    Which suggests it is used.

    And, once again, the petunia’s last thoughts are “Oh non, not again.”

    Adores: 3
    • 2013 December 11
      MissMommyNiceNice permalink

      I used cloth diapers on both my boys without a single disposable and I sell them too! You would be surprised how many people are using them nowadays!

      Adores: 1
      • 2013 December 11

        When I visited a friend in Germany years ago, his girlfriend’s mom ran a cloth diaper laundry out of her house as a home business. They’re more work but so much cheaper. It doesn’t surprise me at all that people are using them to save money these days. (It does, however, slightly surprise me that YSaC has yet to share an ad from someone attempting to trade their used ones for a leaf blower or a World of Warcraft account or something.)

        Adores: 4
        • 2013 December 11
          MissMommyNiceNice permalink

          That might not be a bad deal depending on which kind and his many. A used one of the kind I sell goes for around $14/each.

          Adores: 1
      • 2013 December 11
        meeshybee permalink

        I’ve used them for 3 years. Well, more like 2 1/2. We were done for a couple months, but suddenly we need them at night again. Grrr.

        Definitely saved us a pretty penny vs. disposables. A lot of daycares won’t use them though. Much more popular with stay-at-home moms.

        Adores: 1
      • 2013 December 11
        Lou Stool permalink

        Yup, my little girl is still in cloth diapers. So much cheaper!

        Adores: 3
    • 2013 December 11
      Brer Fox permalink

      No Capn, It says right in the ad that it is made out of wood, not cloth. It even looks like wood.

      Oh wait, you meant that the diapers are cloth. That makes more sense. Wood diapers would probably chafe, but they would have a nice pine scent.

      Adores: 12
  3. 2013 December 11

    I have plenty of stuff and items, so a thing or two would round out my collection.

    Adores: 7
    • 2013 December 11
      meeshybee permalink

      Look at this stuff,
      Isn’t it neat?
      Wouldn’t you think my collection’s complete?
      Wouldn’t you think I’m the girl,
      The girl who has…
      Er… well, this thing?

      Adores: 10
  4. 2013 December 11
    One Moving Violation permalink

    As racks go, this wood thing doesn’t seem to be very useful to me. Can’t even use it to add a little spice and it isn’t even aesthetically pleasing like most racks I’ve looked upon. Of course, most of those were not for sale.

    Adores: 5
  5. 2013 December 11
    One Moving Violation permalink

    [corey] Paddywhack is a tendon along the neck of sheep or cattle and often dried and sold as doggie treats. According to uncle Wiki. Dictionary.com says a paddywhack is a spanking.[/corey]

    I’ll say this much. I’m not going to let anybody catch me spanking my tendon.

    Adores: 6
    • 2013 December 11
      MissMommyNiceNice permalink

      That’s double time for you in the corner, One!

      Adores: 3
      • 2013 December 11
        One Moving Violation permalink

        Awww.

        *casts eyes at floor*
        *uses big toe to kick at dust bunny*
        *dust bunny deftly dodges big toe and floats through “This Wood Thing”*
        *grabs Sparkette’s rack to move aside*

        No, this is not a tits aside joke.**

        *accidentally sets rack on cat’s tail*
        *cat paddywhacks rack with unclawed paw*
        *stomps at dust bunny*
        *dust bunny deftly dodges stomp, cat tail does not*
        *cat paddywhacks One’s leg with clawed paw*

        YOUCH!
        Okay, I’m going.

        **Oh yes it is!

        Adores: 5
        • 2013 December 11
          Windrose permalink

          M2N2, It certainly is nice to have you as my backup around here! And One, be sure to pick up your eyes before you leave.

          Adores: 5
        • 2013 December 11
          One Moving Violation permalink

          Oh, the eyes bounce back,
          They never stay away.
          The eyes bounce back,
          Cuz they’re not.a.misjay.
          The eyes bounce back,
          Right back to their home.
          Now I am the hack
          of this bounce back poem.

          Adores: 4
    • 2013 December 12
      Ralph permalink

      Unless that’s a giant basket, the wood thing appears to be a miniature version of a towel rack. It’s more like a washcloth rack.

      However, if OMV is correct, it also might be used for drying tendons, or during S-M play to give a knick-knack paddywhack.

      Adores: 2
      • 2013 December 16
        KatiMomKat permalink

        I’m pretty sure that thing is a magazine or newspaper rack.
        *casts eyes at floor, embarrassed by lack of witty comment*
        *slinks quietly away*

        Adores: 0
  6. 2013 December 11
    nojazzhere permalink

    “This Wood Thing of Ours”……Woodworkers’ Mafia Slogan….

    Adores: 4
  7. 2013 December 11
    Windrose permalink

    MMphm nmnmnmmm ppppthththth mmmmmmsn.*

    *trying to not say anything about my husband’s wood thing.

    D’Oh!

    Adores: 3
  8. 2013 December 11
    Limelolly permalink

    I had a wood thing, once. Sadly, it wouldn’t spin in spite of the numerous shellackings it received. Eventually, I gave it a stiff coat of paint and used it as a foot rest.

    Adores: 3
  9. 2013 December 11
    Addams' permalink

    Thing, please come back home.
    Fester apologizes.
    We miss you, Gomez.

    Adores: 3
  10. 2013 December 11
    CapnMac permalink

    One has to wonder what other ads Spark put out from that photo,
    Like the “stone-looking thing”; the “empty waterbed thing”; the fuzzy end of the scarf that is in all the photos thing” . . .

    Adores: 1
  11. 2013 December 12
    Windrose permalink

    ghostie and TC, by the powers vested in me by the Llama-nun and the Ostrimu, and the holy Bees, I now pronouce you Punchity Punch Punched! You are free to kiss the sky.

    Good Morning, Rack Fans!

    Adores: 2
    • 2013 December 12

      Ouch! I feel very sanctified right now. :rubs shoulder: Also slightly bruised.

      Adores: 3
  12. 2013 December 12
    Irregular Fractal permalink

    Worst. Abacus. Ever.

    Adores: 6
    • 2013 December 13

      That’s what happens when you buy an abacus from IKEA, there’s always a few parts missing.

      Adores: 1

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