YSaC, Vol. 1641: IKEA being one of the worst

2013 December 18

borrowr


hi there I’m getting read of a borrowr with a hutch stand it all one peace nd you will need two people to pick it up if youare interested you can call marsha at ###-###-#### and she can tex pic of it to you ty jest call me or email me for a showing its loc in 2clock two place in [badly misspelled city].

What a peace of work is this borrowr!
How noble in it’s hutch stand,
How infinite in weight!
In form nd moving how many people will you need to pick it up? (Two)
And poor Marsha!
A woman of infinite jest!

So jest call her.

Thanks for the post, Ralph!

26 Responses leave one →
  1. 2013 December 18
    MissMommyNiceNice permalink

    I saw a tex pic once. But then a big strong scary ginger ranger kicked my butt and I decided it jest wasn’t worth the trouble.

    Adores: 2
  2. 2013 December 18

    Neither a borrowr nor a hutch stand buy;
    For thou wilt need two people to pick it up,
    But Marsha can text pics of it to thee.
    This above all: get the fairest price,
    Or it must follow, as the night the day,
    Thy trip to 2clock two place is for nought.
    Farewell: my blessing season this in thee!

    Adores: 10
    • 2013 December 18
      One Moving Violation permalink

      This sounds like a Gilligan’s Island reference, you know, because I can here your words in my head.

      Adores: 1
      • 2013 December 18
        CapnMac permalink

        Vince Gilligan’s Island would probably edgier.

        Adores: 2
  3. 2013 December 18

    I don’t want it unless it’s Frainch prudential. I’m picky about my poorly-spelled furniture.

    Adores: 12
  4. 2013 December 18
    MissMommyNiceNice permalink

    Marsha, Marsha, Marsha! Will I never have peace? Maybe I can borrowr some.

    Adores: 3
    • 2013 December 18
      nojazzhere permalink

      hi there…..jest call me or email me for a showing….it will be in two places at 2 oclock in [Waxakachkie] ……..Marsha.Marsha.Marsha.

      Adores: 5
  5. 2013 December 18
    camille permalink

    I read “The Borrowers” when I was a kid, and loved the idea of little people living under the floorboards. I don’t approve of selling them, though, and putting hutch stands on top of them is just mean.

    Adores: 11
  6. 2013 December 18

    noJazziehere, due to holiday cut-backs, I’m leaving everyone in the box until the next post goes up. I’ll let you out if you help me move this hutch. Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, Starsky!

    Adores: 3
    • 2013 December 18
      nojazzhere permalink

      Thanks, Windy, but I’m fine just hanging here…it’s quiet, it’s warm, and I’ve got myself to keep me company…..[and only two more school days 'til Christmas , er, I mean, "winter" break....] Merry “Winter”, everyone….

      Adores: 6
  7. 2013 December 18
    EclecticBlue permalink

    So, if you have to call Marsha, does that mean that the poster isn’t the Borrow(r)man?

    Adores: 1
  8. 2013 December 18
    Ralph permalink

    But is there a matching armwar and automan?

    Adores: 6
  9. 2013 December 18
    tigprincess permalink

    Dear Sparky – do you think you could possibly get this post translated into English? Google Translate failed completely.

    WTF are you and Marsha attempting to sell ?

    Adores: 3
    • 2013 December 18
      Ralph permalink

      Here’s a picture.

      Adores: 3
      • 2013 December 19
        tigprincess permalink

        Wow what splendour, what majesty what …. words fail me

        Adores: 3
        • 2013 December 19

          *puts away the tranquilizer darts* Good!

          Adores: 1
    • 2013 December 18
      CapnMac permalink

      Tig,

      Bureau ≈ borrowr
      “hutch stand” could ≈ almost anything from a mirror frame, to a stack of cubbies, to winterbagel parts fused to the borrowr after an unfortunate MWA.

      This could probably be much more amusing, but I am not feeling at my best today.

      Adores: 3
  10. 2013 December 18
    One Moving Violation permalink

    Guy 1: I hear you’ve started dating again.

    Guy 2: Yep, she’s a wonderful gal.

    Guy 1: Well, she’d have to be to put up with ya’. What’s her name?

    Guy 2: Her name’s Bureau.

    Guy 1: You mean Beulah.

    Guy 2: No, her name’s Bureau.

    Guy 1: Dummy! A bureau is this wide with drawers.

    Guy 2: Oh! So you’ve seen her.

    *stands by awaiting inevitable beating*

    Adores: 4
    • 2013 December 18
      zero.nada.none permalink

      Guy 1….dummy! a bureau is this wide with drawers.

      Guy 2….oh!..she’s that wide even without drawers.

      Adores: 7
    • 2013 December 19
      tigprincess permalink

      welcome to Panto !

      Adores: 1
  11. 2013 December 18
    Brer Fox permalink

    stand it all

    That’s my new swear substitution.

    Stand it all! Someone just borrowed my hutch again. Some.of.my.gum!

    Adores: 7
  12. 2013 December 18
    mudslicker permalink

    I think this reads better if it’s sung to the tune of “Away in a Manger.”

    Adores: 3
    • 2013 December 18
      One Moving Violation permalink

      Back in the ’80′s, I went caroling with a group. One of them had printed up a booklet of carols including “Away in a Manager”. Of course, I had to sing it that way…much to the consternation of several women in the group.

      Adores: 8
  13. 2013 December 18

    Grrrrr IKEA! How, oh how, did they ever become so popular! Marsha, how could you?!?

    *collapses on chaise whilst employing fan vigorously*

    Wine me, please, for I have whined aplenty!

    Adores: 4
    • 2013 December 18
      MissMommyNiceNice permalink

      Plenty of wine here! Marsha isn’t getting any though, she’s already having enough trouble spelling.

      Adores: 2

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