YSaC, Vol. 1677: You’re a real gone guy

2014 March 14
by dan

Here’s two ads posted in the same [location]:

Free: Feral cat colony feeding containers



I have several containers used for feeding our neighborhood strays that I no longer need. Picture shows fraction of what’s available.

Please respond only if you are serious about picking up.

Hmm… I wonder why she no longer needs the containers for feeding her neighborhood strays?

Free: Pill bottles


I have 3-4 bags of empty pill bottles. They are great for storing small items or craft projects.

PLEASE respond only if you are serious about picking up. Thanks!

Oh. Because she poisoned them all.

Thanks for this horror story, Suzi!

30 Responses leave one →
  1. 2014 March 14
    MissMommyNiceNice permalink

    Where haz alls mine outdoors friendz gone? Why haz they all gone aways? More cheezburger for me!

    Adores: 6
    • 2014 March 14
      Dan permalink

      This may be the saddest comment ever on YSaC. :(

      Adores: 5
      • 2014 March 14
        MissMommyNiceNice permalink

        Sorry to bring down the room! I’ll be in the corner.

        Adores: 0
        • 2014 March 14
          CapnMac permalink

          Well, Dan is educated and literate–it could be that he was expressing a lament that not only can we all read Lolspeak, but that writing in said argot is equally common.

          Quod cogitat nihil est, tan ergo nihil cogitat. (or words to that effect, been a long week)

          Adores: 3
      • 2014 March 14
        CapnMac permalink

        Well, one supposes we could take solace in the fact that feline enumeration is None, One, Many, & nap.

        Adores: 2
    • 2014 March 14
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      Alternative theory: the cat pictured has rallied his and her brethren to rise up against the feeding human. It’s actually that cat posting the ads to lure in other unsuspecting homo sapiens and feast on their tasty, tasty flesh.

      Adores: 8
  2. 2014 March 14

    Do you also have any baby shoes?

    Adores: 5
  3. 2014 March 14
    CapnMac permalink

    Let’s be fair, “feral cat feeding containers” does sound a hair classay-ier than “bushels of random containers what we bin feedin all’n cats from.”

    It’s too early to look the satute up, but, I’m pretty sure that containers which have held prescription medications, ever, cannot be re-used for any purpose. No mater what the cats keep telling you.

    Adores: 6
    • 2014 March 14

      I think the cat in the second photo is saying, “What are you doing, and why am I not the center of attention?”

      Adores: 4
    • 2014 March 14

      …and I think the fact that the cats are telling Sparky things can be explained by the Plethora of Pills..which incidentally is probably the name for IF’s Tears for Fears tribute band.

      Adores: 9
  4. 2014 March 14
    Ralph permalink

    This is your cat.

    This is your cat on drugs.

    Any questions?

    Adores: 6
  5. 2014 March 14

    I can haz (more) drugs?

    Adores: 8
  6. 2014 March 14
    Ralph permalink

    There are several other possible assumptions here about why the feral cats are no longer being fed:

    A) The Crazy Cat Lady is now back on her meds.
    B) An aggressive Not. A. Lion or the equivalent showed up at her feeders.
    C) She learned that Fox News lied about Obamacare paying for cat food & drugs.
    D) She is now using medical marijuana instead of pills, but got the munchies and ate everything herself.
    E) There is no Crazy Cat Lady. These ads were posted by the cat.
    F) ???

    Adores: 6
    • 2014 March 14

      F) Crazy cat lady could no longer afford food for the ferals, so they eated her.

      Adores: 9
    • 2014 March 14
      Yancy permalink

      G) Crazy Cat Lady discovered internet cat videos, which didn’t come with fleas, didn’t scratch or bite, and didn’t view CCL’s begonia bed as a public toilet but still provided all the feline squeefulness her crazy heart desired.

      Adores: 4
      • 2014 March 14
        MissMommyNiceNice permalink

        H) crazy cat lady hallucinations the kittehs due to the plethora off antipsychotics she is prescribed.

        Adores: 4
        • 2014 March 14

          H)(1) Meanwhile, the neighbors reported problems with raccoons and rats.

          Adores: 1
    • 2014 April 9
      jackie31337 permalink

      Option A is the first one that occurred to me, but option E is also appealing.

      Adores: 0
  7. 2014 March 14

    Wow. So, there’s no plastics recycling in [location], then?

    Still, at least the containers are clean. Crazy cat lady presumably has some standards.

    Adores: 1
    • 2014 March 14
      CapnMac permalink

      A person could quibble that only the visible portion of “fraction of what’s available” seems to be washed. No telling the state of the 3-4 bags of margarine, sour cream, onion dip, et al, tubs are in.

      Could very well be that the photo is of the bowls used by the indoor feral cats.

      Adores: 0
  8. 2014 March 14
    Windrose permalink

    Here’s what REALLY happened. She adopted or found new homes for all the kitties, and had all the strays nuetered or spayed, and there is love and peace everywhere the end.

    Adores: 7
    • 2014 March 14
      Yancy permalink

      Windy, that is an amazing sentiment. My co-worker used to catch the strays that came through her yard, take them to be fixed, and then re-release them. So I know there’s at least one very well-meaning soul out there. I think I’m going to accept your explanation of the events so I can believe the world my child will enter in July is the place of love and peace you describe.

      Adores: 4
    • 2014 March 14
      nojazzhere permalink

      Yes, Windy….THAT’S what REALLY happened….(keep telling yourself….that’s what REALLY happened)

      Adores: 4
  9. 2014 March 14
    CapnMac permalink

    After some consideration, I’m thinking this is a situation where an elderly relative has passed, and the house is getting straightened out.

    The pride of cats will have moved along after the feeding stopped.

    The rain washed the feeding bowls clean.

    Now, it’s merely down to cleaning up 2nd Aunt thrice-removed Tootie’s house cleaned up, which includes policing up decades of containers, pill bottles, and the like. Not really hoarding, as those are grocery bags, rather than 33 gallon leaf-and-grass bags.

    Which will likely wind up being a new series on Fox with Zoë Deschamel as Sparkie, and hijinks gallore, what with, no, you can’t sell used pill bottles. If Fox then follows their form of late, the plot will not have been developed beyond the pilot, functionally maiming any drama or interest the series might have (but, Fox will option the show for 6 episodes to fill one of the gaping holes in their schedule anyway).

    And it will have a happy ending in any event–after all, Game of Thrones starts up again in April.

    Adores: 4
    • 2014 March 14

      That’s the most logical explanation. Up until the Zoe part, that is.

      Adores: 1
    • 2014 March 15

      Make it a reality show. In episode 1, Gordon Ramsay enters the house and spends the entire episode screaming swear words at the top of his lungs about the hoarding. In episode 2, Snooki enters the house and, um, does whatever it is that she does.

      Adores: 1
  10. 2014 March 14
    Kitteh permalink

    Oops, that’s a typo.
    Itz sposed to reed
    Free: Fill bottlz

    Adores: 4
  11. 2014 March 14
    One Moving Violation permalink

    Happy Pi Day.

    Adores: 2
  12. 2014 March 14
    Innana permalink

    The cats, the bottles used for craft items — I remember a poster from several years ago who dressed up cats in little costumes and made them perform Biblical drama before ticket-buying audiences — could this be the same woman? And she’s selling the dishes and bottles because they finally fled the area in a deepening spiral of shame?

    Adores: 1
  13. 2014 March 15
    Innana permalink

    Thanks for the Stray Cats allusion in the title!

    Adores: 1

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