YSaC, Vol. 1742: Two out of seven’s not bad.

2014 August 13

[Warning: if you are easily offended, you’re on the wrong website AND you might not want to read the post below.]

Free frig


I’m giving my frig away. It’s really the only frig I’ve ever given. If you’d like to frig, its free to pick up, outside of [location]. Please, come get it, its the only frig I have

I’m not really looking for a frig right now. I’ve been looking for a damn for a while, but nobody ever seems to have those to give away. Or a shit. I’d settle for a crap, but even those don’t get given very often. There’s lots of fucks out there though, and unlike shits and craps, nobody ever seems to take those.

I’ll show myself to the corner.

Thanks, Ralph!

28 Responses leave one →
  1. 2014 August 13

    Sorry, Sparky, but if you want to be the next Sylvester, you’ll have to work on scansion.

    Adores: 2
  2. 2014 August 13
    CapnMac permalink

    Was this in Casual Encounters?

    Adores: 1
  3. 2014 August 13
    Ralph permalink

    This must be posted by a Drama Queen. Not Scarlett; probably a Greek Drama Queen.

    Brek-kek-kek-Kenmore! Ko-ax! Ko-ax!

    Close enough.

    Adores: 2
  4. 2014 August 13
    SilvaNoir permalink

    Any flying rat’s asses? no one seems to give those either.

    Adores: 4
  5. 2014 August 13

    My give-a-frig’s been busted so long, I’ve learned to do without.

    Now if my give-a-shitz ever breaks, I’m in trouble.

    Adores: 7
  6. 2014 August 13
    HamCan permalink

    its the only frig I have

    That frigures…

    Adores: 8
  7. 2014 August 13
    camille permalink

    No, I would not like to frig. But I might like to frug, if you ask nicely.

    Adores: 3
    • 2014 August 13
      nojazzhere permalink

      Free frog

      O’m govong my frog away. Ot’s really the inly frog O’ve ever goven. Of yiu’d loke ti frog, ot’s free ti pock up, iutsode if [licatoin]. Please cime get ot, ot’s the inly frog O have

      Adores: 1
      • 2014 August 13
        One Moving Violation permalink

        What does the frig say?

        Rubbit! Rubbit!

        What does the rabbit do?

        Frig it! Frig it!

        Adores: 3
  8. 2014 August 13
    Windrose permalink

    Don’t mind me, I’m just going straight to the corner with drmk and Ralph and whoever else didn’t get this frig.

    Adores: 1
  9. 2014 August 13
    Windrose permalink

    limelolly, Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, and Nanu Nanu. *sniff*

    Adores: 4
  10. 2014 August 13
    MissMommyNiceNice permalink

    There was an old man from [location],
    Who wanted to go on vacation,
    But only had one frig to give,
    It’s free to prick up (there I fixed it for you),
    He says it’s not big,
    About the size of a prig,
    But it’s yours if you want for the taking.

    Adores: 1
  11. 2014 August 13
    HamCan permalink


    I want a frig, just like the frig that dear old Sparky has
    It was a pearl and the only frig that Sparky had to give,
    A good old fashioned frig that’s free, its true
    If you like to frig…if not, frig you
    I want a frig, just like the frig that dear old Sparky has!

    Adores: 1
  12. 2014 August 13
    Demon Duck of Doom permalink

    If it’s a flying frig and comes with a rolling donut, I’ll take it.

    Adores: 3
  13. 2014 August 13
    One Moving Violation permalink

    Frigitol

    Ingredients: Well, you can’t know what’s in it unless you open it up.

    Adores: 1
  14. 2014 August 13
    One Moving Violation permalink

    If you frig something, let it go.
    If it comes back to you, frig it again.
    If it doesn’t come back, hunt it down and frag it.

    Adores: 2
  15. 2014 August 13

    Two out of seven’s not bad, it’s fridgeing awful!

    Adores: 2
  16. 2014 August 14
    DigitalAxis permalink

    Free frig? I’m not interested unless you tell me what he’s imprisoned for.

    Adores: 2
  17. 2014 August 14
    Rgoodey permalink

    Following comment not related to post but related to this website.

    Hey, everyone. I started reading YSaC about 4 years ago and never had the time to comment, so I never posted, but I loved you all. I got really busy with work and stopped reading a year or two ago. This summer I suddenly have so much time on my hands…minutes, seconds, hours, too many to list 🙂 And I came back here.

    I read all the posts for 2013 and was cackling madly, showing my husband awful ads while he bemusedly read them and laughed a little. But the best part for me was always the comments.

    Your community of commentators was so endearing to me, and I obviously read a lot of them, because when I started reading them again after 2 years of being gone, many of you came back to me like characters in a TV show…names like Windrose, Lola, Arched Eyebrows, to name a few…and I remembered the old jokes, like good ol’ Corey.

    Tits aside, I started reading the redux ones from 2010 that would pop up every so often and I remembered other characters, like SilvaNoir, TacoMagic, Bacontini, Grampdaddy, Meredith, and Astrognash to name another few.

    I guess I have questions. Mostly the big one is…what happened? Where did everybody go? I’m sure I missed it somewhere, but the commenting community seems much smaller than it used to be.

    I loved seeing your comments to each other and I never knew how you all had so much time just to *talk* to each other every day on every post. But you did, and as one of you said once, this is one of the more mature commenting groups out there on the Internet. And clever! You’re all so dag-nabbed clever!

    Anyway, long-time reader, mostly lurking in the Jungles of Comment, test-driving being active in the comments section of a website. Saying hi. And thanks for all the fish.

    And by fish I mean laughter. Laughter fish.

    Adores: 5
    • 2014 August 14
      zero.nada.none. permalink

      Hi.

      Adores: 1
    • 2014 August 15
      limelolly2@hotmail.com permalink

      Hi Rg,

      Life has been kind of tough and painful, and extremely busy for most of us. In sickness and in health, till death to us part, most of us are still around, but not with as much spare time to comment. It helps to have so many new people to fill in the gap. Please, comment more often, even if you think it’s not funny enough. Some of the torch bearers are still around, but fresh meat is always welcome. Er, I mean new commenters.

      Adores: 2
    • 2014 August 15

      Hi R,

      I’m still here, aren’t I???

      Well?????

      *sniffle*

      Imajuss gonna go cry in the corner, bring me a coffee slice or nine, will ya?

      Adores: 1
    • 2014 August 15
      Windrose permalink

      Well, R, the truth must come out at some time or other. We had to outsource the comments. Most of what you read has gone through a translation app from Hindi to German to Finnish, to Gaelic, back to Hindi, then to English. Eventually to American.

      The stress was too much for many of our regulars, and they moved over to I Can Haz Cheezeburger comments. We don’t speak about it.

      The good thing is, this translation process has made Cap’n Mac easier to understand. 8)

      Think of it as eveolution in process, and you could be the next TacoMagic! Only, female. And preferably without a thong.

      Adores: 2
      • 2014 August 15
        Malfunctioning Spambot #4 permalink

        I translated never is! And the deal, 40 JAMAICAN FREE-RANGE HAMBURGERS with translate is all the times it good times and make DISCOUNT GERBET WASHER Malfunctioning Spambot certain he will CLICK HERE IF YOUR SOCKS ARE MADE OF ASBESTOS for ever and ever.

        Adores: 2
    • 2014 August 15

      Rgoodey, you just made my day! I’m so happy that you’ve been reading the site for so long, and SO happy that you’ve commented! This is what makes toiling away in obscurity on this silly little site worth it.

      Adores: 4
    • 2014 August 15
      Lou Stool permalink

      We’ve actually been in Soviet Russia, where commenters lurk YOU!

      Adores: 1
    • 2014 August 16
      camille permalink

      It’s true, we’re still here, just in smaller numbers. I too miss the days where we’d get 200+ comments on one day. Jump on in and maybe it’ll happen again!

      And Windy, maybe we need a new outsourcing company, because I still have trouble parsing Cap’n Mac!

      Adores: 2
    • 2014 August 18

      What am I, chopped lacawates valtrus-suka?

      Adores: 1

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