YSaC, Vol. 1770: I’m NOT sleeping on a #*%($ Sealy!

2014 October 17
tags:
by dan

Kit A sends this one:

free bed all stains 40 years old!


Free twin box spring and mattress in old stained shape, all stains guaranteed to be over 40 years old. Got a bed wetter this is the free bed for you! Daisy pattern in great shape minus the 40 year old pee stains.
Put a cover on it for the in-laws stay this holiday they will never know! Smells fine well a little musty from the garage but absolutely no pee smell!
Will deliver to [location] only!!

Ah, 40 year old pee stains. That would date them from 1974. 1974 was a good vintage in [location] for pee stains. The 1974 Daisy Pattern is known for having notes of polyester and macrame, with just a hint of cocaine. Definitely worth picking this one up, before the poster puts it up for auction at Christie’s.

24 Responses leave one →
  1. 2014 October 17

    Vintage pee stains! If it’s for free, then it’s for me, even with the pee.

    Adores: 4
    • 2014 October 17
      HamCan permalink

      Vintage golden showers…I bet there pron for that.
      (No I am not googling it!)

      Adores: 4
  2. 2014 October 17
    Ralph permalink

    Is this the bed from The Princess and the Pee?

    Adores: 10
  3. 2014 October 17
    MissMommyNiceNice permalink

    Free ALL THE PEE!!!!!!

    Adores: 3
  4. 2014 October 17
    MandaB permalink

    I.P. Freely: The bed wetter collection, now from Sealy.

    Adores: 7
    • 2014 October 17
      HamCan permalink

      I’ve heard good things about their posturepeedick model…

      Adores: 5
      • 2014 October 17
        zero.nada.none. permalink

        What!?, no picture for ad???….

        ..and shouldn’t that read “Daisy-chain pattern in great shape..”

        Adores: 3
    • 2014 October 17
      MissMommyNiceNice permalink

      I C what U P there.

      Adores: 2
  5. 2014 October 17
    HamCan permalink

    Daisy pattern in great shape minus the 40 year old pee stains

    Oh Sparky, maybe you should have driven Miss Daisy to the rest stop more often…

    Adores: 12
  6. 2014 October 17
    Windrose permalink

    Why are we assuming that humans peed on this mattress? *squints at Hammy*

    Adores: 5
    • 2014 October 17
      HamCan permalink

      I first read that as “squirts”

      Adores: 5
      • 2014 October 17

        I’m not exactly equiped. 8/

        Adores: 1
        • 2014 October 17
          HamCan permalink

          It’s optional special order equipment.

          Adores: 4
  7. 2014 October 17
    Windrose permalink

    Speaking of Hammy, Punchity Punch Punch! Tail docking included at no extra charge.

    Good Morning, Pee Brains!

    Adores: 2
  8. 2014 October 17

    I don’t want to start any rumors, but M2N2 and the Cap’n are spending the weekend together in the box.

    Adores: 3
    • 2014 October 17
      MissMommyNiceNice permalink

      But does it have a musty old peed upon vintage mattress?

      Adores: 1
      • 2014 October 17
        zero.nada.none. permalink

        It will by Monday.

        Adores: 3
        • 2014 October 17
          CapnMac permalink

          I’ve been called a doormat before, but never a mattress–sigh.

          Adores: 4
  9. 2014 October 17
    camille permalink

    Vintage pee,
    After 40 years it’s odor-free,
    But still visible, as you can see.
    Oh, won’t you buy my vintage pee?

    Suddenly,
    Daisy patterns are all I can see.
    Is this the color they’re supposed to be?
    I can’t tell through the vintage pee.

    Adores: 5
    • 2014 October 17
      Windrose permalink

      Someone had to go, don’t you know, though sound asleep.
      They did not wear pads it’s so sad, that vintage pee-ee-ee-ee

      Adores: 3
  10. 2014 October 17

    wow. Just what is wrong with some people? 40 years old, pee stains, I don’t even think homeless people would take it. Personally I would rather sleep in the dirt!

    Adores: 3
  11. 2014 October 17
    Ralph permalink

    Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer true,
    I’m half crazy, all for the love of you,
    It won’t be a stylish mattress
    Once owned by a famous actress,
    But you’ll be free to sleep on pee
    In a craigslist bed — mind the queue.

    Adores: 3
  12. 2014 October 19
    D ... DM!!! permalink

    For serious collectors only.

    Adores: 3
  13. 2014 October 19
    Grumpy Grammy permalink

    Warning – Sparky dumpster dived (dove?) that bed 40 years ago. I recognize the description. I threw it out when my kid was done wetting the bed. He was 3.

    Adores: 2

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