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YSaC, Vol. 1770: I’m NOT sleeping on a #*%($ Sealy!

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dan

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Kit A sends this one:

free bed all stains 40 years old!

Free twin box spring and mattress in old stained shape, all stains guaranteed to be over 40 years old. Got a bed wetter this is the free bed for you! Daisy pattern in great shape minus the 40 year old pee stains.
Put a cover on it for the in-laws stay this holiday they will never know! Smells fine well a little musty from the garage but absolutely no pee smell!
Will deliver to [location] only!!

Ah, 40 year old pee stains. That would date them from 1974. 1974 was a good vintage in [location] for pee stains. The 1974 Daisy Pattern is known for having notes of polyester and macrame, with just a hint of cocaine. Definitely worth picking this one up, before the poster puts it up for auction at Christie’s.

Comments

24 responses to “YSaC, Vol. 1770: I’m NOT sleeping on a #*%($ Sealy!”

  1. Dave and Ferret Tribe Avatar
    Dave and Ferret Tribe

    Vintage pee stains! If it’s for free, then it’s for me, even with the pee.

    1. HamCan Avatar
      HamCan

      Vintage golden showers…I bet there pron for that.
      (No I am not googling it!)

  2. Ralph Avatar
    Ralph

    Is this the bed from The Princess and the Pee?

  3. MissMommyNiceNice Avatar
    MissMommyNiceNice

    Free ALL THE PEE!!!!!!

  4. MandaB Avatar
    MandaB

    I.P. Freely: The bed wetter collection, now from Sealy.

    1. HamCan Avatar
      HamCan

      I’ve heard good things about their posturepeedick model…

      1. zero.nada.none. Avatar
        zero.nada.none.

        What!?, no picture for ad???….

        ..and shouldn’t that read “Daisy-chain pattern in great shape..”

    2. MissMommyNiceNice Avatar
      MissMommyNiceNice

      I C what U P there.

  5. HamCan Avatar
    HamCan

    Daisy pattern in great shape minus the 40 year old pee stains

    Oh Sparky, maybe you should have driven Miss Daisy to the rest stop more often…

  6. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    Why are we assuming that humans peed on this mattress? *squints at Hammy*

    1. HamCan Avatar
      HamCan

      I first read that as “squirts”

      1. Windrose Avatar
        Windrose

        I’m not exactly equiped. 8/

        1. HamCan Avatar
          HamCan

          It’s optional special order equipment.

  7. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    Speaking of Hammy, Punchity Punch Punch! Tail docking included at no extra charge.

    Good Morning, Pee Brains!

  8. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    I don’t want to start any rumors, but M2N2 and the Cap’n are spending the weekend together in the box.

    1. MissMommyNiceNice Avatar
      MissMommyNiceNice

      But does it have a musty old peed upon vintage mattress?

      1. zero.nada.none. Avatar
        zero.nada.none.

        It will by Monday.

        1. CapnMac Avatar
          CapnMac

          I’ve been called a doormat before, but never a mattress–sigh.

  9. camille Avatar
    camille

    Vintage pee,
    After 40 years it’s odor-free,
    But still visible, as you can see.
    Oh, won’t you buy my vintage pee?

    Suddenly,
    Daisy patterns are all I can see.
    Is this the color they’re supposed to be?
    I can’t tell through the vintage pee.

    1. Windrose Avatar
      Windrose

      Someone had to go, don’t you know, though sound asleep.
      They did not wear pads it’s so sad, that vintage pee-ee-ee-ee

  10. chattercat Avatar
    chattercat

    wow. Just what is wrong with some people? 40 years old, pee stains, I don’t even think homeless people would take it. Personally I would rather sleep in the dirt!

  11. Ralph Avatar
    Ralph

    Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer true,
    I’m half crazy, all for the love of you,
    It won’t be a stylish mattress
    Once owned by a famous actress,
    But you’ll be free to sleep on pee
    In a craigslist bed — mind the queue.

  12. D ... DM!!! Avatar
    D … DM!!!

    For serious collectors only.

  13. Grumpy Grammy Avatar
    Grumpy Grammy

    Warning – Sparky dumpster dived (dove?) that bed 40 years ago. I recognize the description. I threw it out when my kid was done wetting the bed. He was 3.

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