YSaC, Vol. 221: The 80s called, and they don’t want you back.

2009 February 24

This one’s behind a cut because it’s really, really, really long. Really. In fact, I’m not going to recommend that you read the whole thing — I’m not sure anyone could without having their brain melt — but I’m going to recommend that you at least scan the whole thing. You may find yourself unable to turn away from the train wreck.

Hey anyone remember the slinky song? – 33

The names abilio people just call me bill , let me tell you about myself, im a goofy creative person who comes up with corny ideas like this one I thought up, remember that old Reeses commercial “How do you eat your Reeses”? Well I came up with my own tv ad for it . Have Reese Witherspoon(the actress) holding a large spoon and then say,¨ How do you eat your Reeses?Witherspoon¨ Get it !! well I told you it was corny lol. Anyways my other goofy idea which is much better and if I have the time I would like to get it published is my own cartoon, I call it Violent Violet the Crayon gone bad. It’s a cross between the sopranos and flinstones .You see in my cartoon emotions represent the colors of the crayons I have characters such as green envy ,purple passion(violent violets girlfriend) anger management(hes the red crayon) etc. My first episode is titled dare to draw first blood.

Heres a joke I created ,¨ what did judge judy say after screwing the jury?” It¦s a well-hung jury” stupid.

Okay heres another . I work in a pharmacy so one day I was asked to do a delivery for mr. Johnson. So I grabbed his prescriptions and headed down to his apartment. I knocked on his door and a 70-year old senior citizen answers the door ,”Mr.Johnson” I say,”heres your prescriptions¨ Mr.Johnson replies , thanks sonny boy¨ he grabs the bag peeks in the bag and says,¨ hey young man wheres my Viagra prescription?,cant you people do anything right, Hows a guy like myself suppose to do for fun besides playing bingo and doing crosswords all day? So I say ,¨ Sorry about that Mr.Johnson , no hard feelings tonight¨ laugh track here . Some more one liners that I invented,¨ I had sex only once,and that¦s because I believed that old saying my parents use to tell me,¨ If you do it right the first time you don¦t have to come and do it over again.¨ Also I came up with some ideas for t-shirts, remember the hamburger helper commercial that had the little talking hand , well put him on a blank t-shirt and have the saying,¨ never bite the hand that¦s feed’s you¨ another idea is just to have this saying on a t-shirt,¨ Im anal retentive, in other words Im a perfect asshole!!!!. Heres some more old jokes that need work anyways here it goes, “ I’m going to write a book on famous people who use Viagra…It’s going to be a pop-up book!!!!. Ever hear about the girl with the big nose?.. her nose was so big, she was giving blowjob’s sideways. Hey whats the worst feeling a woman can have?… She’s about the have the best orgasm of her life and all of a sudden the batteries go dead. Heres one that I need to seriously rework hey some people like it,”

Hey did you know a sex toy company is coming out with a twisted version of play-doh?.. Its called play-dildoh. Hey heres a real put down you can use if people ever make fun of how you look,” hey my dog gets more compliments from men/women than you do! .. heres one last one , an elderly couple are at the museum , they come up to the statue of david, and the wife starts admiring it, saying how lovely and great it is.. well the husband starts getting jealous because his wife seems to be giving more attention and compliments to the statue than he has everhad had from his wife , so he says” So whats so great about the statue?.. whats it got that I don’t have?”.. the wife replies with a grin on her face,” For one thing hes always hard!!”.. also I don’t know if I thought of this before but heres another idea for tootsie rolls pop commercial, have someone sucking on a tootsie roll pop and then say,” theres a sucker born ever minute… on a toostsie roll pop. “if a priest commits a crime ,is it considered a white collar crime?”. If a person in a wheelchair does a comedy routine, is it still stand up?”. Okay I know I should keep my day job, but hey I tried my best to okay now to the serious stuff.

Besides being a weird little man(im 5 10, 180 lbs) Im also a very flexible person who doesnt mind horseback riding, going to the aquarium/museum,the opera, staying at home watching a movie , playing chess or board games. hoping to meet someone who always keeps an open mind to whatever crazy idea that i come up with. i like doing a lot of things, as i believe everything new that i learn , will only make me a better person and less ignorant. i like working out ,chess, cooking,flying,reading,ufc,watching old tv shows etc. of course im always looking for new things to try, i love the knowledge and experience that comes with trying something new. hey maybe you can teach something new and i can teach you something new.

Im a thoughtful person who always thinks of others before himself. If I was in a relationship and I was reading the Sunday paper and happened to stumble upon a coupon for my partners favorite make-up , I would cut it out attach it to a sticky note and write,¨ thought I would save you money babe¨ and put it in her purse.I guess I get satisfaction in helping others without getting anything in return. That feeling that you get from making someone happy , is worth more to me than money or any material goods.I also take pleasure in cheering people up, hey if my partner had a bad day or feeling under the weather, i would probably give her a nice massage and feed her fresh strawberries dipped in hot dark chocolate. Money and material possessions are fleeting but the lasting memory of helping or making someone feel better is forever. I think honesty is my best trait, being honest is so much easier, why go to the trouble of lying, when in the end it catches up with you. What ive just said is charming but means nothing if I cant put it to action. I rather do than talk, here’s an example for ya ladies: would you rather date a guy who can charm you too death but does not keep his words.. basically he’s all talk and no action or would you rather date a mime. Sure you’ll have communication problems in a relationship with a mime , but at least his actions speak louder than his words.( bad joke I know just trying to make a point). Anyone can talk but Few keep their words, I really hate people like that.

I’m also a type of person who likes to keep things fresh. I like to keep my partner on their tip toes. I like to keep them guessing on what I’m going to do next. One of the secrets to a good relationship is not to let it get stale. Many couples fall into a routine,doing the same thing’s over and over again. It’s like at the beginning the guy does everything he can to get the girl but once he gets her, he get’s uncreative and does the same thing over and over again. Hey relationships and life are about variety. Personally I’m not the guy that would follow the standard procedure aka where the guy gets a girl flowers and chocolates. Personally I would come up with a more creative idea such as mystery grab bag, which is a hallmark gift bag filled with such goodies such a chocolates,a lottery ticket,a pez dispenser,make up kit,a good book etc. Yeah I like to separate myself from the herd , don’t get me wrong there’s nothing wrong with giving a girl flowers and chocolates, but to me it sounds redundant and over used.

Anyways hoping to meet someone where we cant start out as buddies as I believe when you date someone expectations are high, you put to much pressure on date. I believe getting to know someone over a long period time (as friends) can tell if your right for each other. Hey when you go on date you or you date may have had a bad day and that may leave an undesirable impression. Anyways sorry im not good at this writing thing but if your interested feel free to write back. Oh yeah one more thing heres my list of favorite movies,tv shows, board games ,video games and other gibberish.

Favorite movies: platoon, sniper, napoleon dynamite,clerks(1 and 2),breakfast club,fast times at ridgemonte high, Harold and kumar, bill and ted excellent adventure,a very brady sequel adventure,transformers the movie,anger management,not another teen movie, karate kid 1,2, rocky III, rocky balboa, home alone 1 and 2, problem child 1 and 2,chucky, nightmare on elm street (all of them),searching for bobby fischer,ferris buellers day off,the crow, ghostbusters,E.T., star wars(all of them), star trek(all movies) the lost boys,goonies,the outsiders,back to the future(1 and 2),a very brady sequel.last of the Mohicans,lord of the flies,stand by me,Goodwill hunting,searching for bobby fischer, Indiana jones,little nicky,Brewster millions,billy Madison,enter the dragon,dodgeball,hitch,therock,ratatouille and gremlins( all 3 movies).

Favorite childhood shows and current favorites; kung fu,sledgehammer,bewitched,zoobilee zoo,gomer pyle,adventures of pete and pete,saved by the bell,the transformers,king of queens, the honeymooners,Seinfeld,the Bernie mac show smurfs,transformers,gi joe,get along gang,pacman, the shirt-tales, force five, Mindfreaks,starblazers,voltron,beavis and butthead, Webster, punky Brewster,different strokes, all in the family, baby looney tunes, batman:animated adventures, teenwolf,snorks,doug,rugrats,spongebob,malcom in the middle,smallville, Garfield and friends,rugrats,supernatural,everbody loves Raymond, Johny zero, last comic standing( seasons 2 and 3),the littles,Alvin and the chipmunks, heathcliff,wait till your father gets home, mr.belvidere,home improvement,dennis the menace,little archie, yogibear,flinstones,aqua hunger teen force, reno911,chappelle show, you cant do that on television, heman and the masters of the universe,gobots,ducktales,silver spoons, chip and dale, the Charlie brown show,alf, fat albert,the munsters,leave it to beaver, spiderman and his amazing friends,bewitched,teenage mutant ninja turtles, Kirby, dragonball z, battle of the planets,muppet babies, the muppets,Richie rich, angel,buffy the vampire slayer,stargate, family ties,wonder years,the highlander,airwolf,hey Arnold,knightrider,family guy,facts of life,happy days,Baywatch, parker lewis cant lose,brady bunch, life goes on,tour of duty,thundercats,alice,golden girls,Sanford and son,happy days,one day at time,facts of life,the fall guy,welcome back kotter, threes company,perfect strangers,mask,ghostbuster,growing pains,I love lucy,whos the boss,small wonder,Kirby,dragonball z,avatar,alf,quantum leap,Laverne and Shirley,simpsons,I think I should stop now cause ive got like a 100 more shows lol.

Favorite board games: operation,life, battleship,chess,chutes and ladders,hungry hungry hippo, mouse trap and of course chess!!!.

Favorite music bands: skid row( 18 and life), def leppard, toto,motley crue,poison,guns and roses,bon jovi,warrant, van halen, Madonna, new kids on the block(just joking )whitesnake,nirvana, Duran Duran,pink floyd.

Best song: ordinary world(duran duran),Africa(toto). House of fire(Alice Cooper)

Best tv show theme song: welcome back kotter, adventures of pete and pete,dukes of hazard.

Favorite sport: tetherball and dodgeball lol

Favorite wrestlers : curt henning,randy savage,raven,Hulk Hogan, owen hart,kurt angle,the rock.

Favorite cereals:cocoa pebbles,cocoa puffs, count chocula,golden grams,apple jacks.

Favorite gum: bazooka joe grape, great tasting gum, comes with a a comic and tells your fortune ,what can ask more from a gum. lol

Favorite movie and tv characters: Bruce lee,master,Quinn Mallory,Po,Gizmo,gonzo,slimer(ghostbusters)fozzie bear,gargamel,archie bunker, boom boom Washington,juan Epstein,alf, AC slater,ferris bueller, zach morris,angel,spongebob,Charlie brown,Duncan mcleod brainysmurf,spiderman,macgyver,Donald duck,Winnie the pooh,tigger,jughead jones, sam and dean Winchester(supernatural) lex luthor(smallville), green arrow ,Michael knight(smallville),jeff spicolli,batman, randall (clerks)kara(smallville),destro,cobra commander, white shadow,major blood,pete and pete,endless mike,batman,roscoe Coltrane,orko,daisy dukes.

Favorite transformers: starscream,galvatron,megatron,stunticons,aerialbots,dinobots,combaticons,omega supreme,shockwave,soundwave,cyclonus,rumble.

Favorite romantic things to do: I know this gonna sound lame, but I think cuddling up with someone on a couch with a cup of hot chocolate , watching a movie or Saturday cartoons together is romantic, otherwise nothing beats a walk on the beach followed with a picnic,or a hot air ballon ride. Oh yeah this might not be so romantic but it would be cool to go to a magic workshop with someone and learn to to do magic together. You know practice with each other.

All time favorite video games: animal crossing( this game totally cracks me up 🙂
Mike tysons punch out,Zelda,castlevania, super mario3, tecmo bowl,san andreas,tekken 5,Grand theft auto 4.

By the way does anyone remember lasertag and photon?

Also does anyone remember collecting garbagepail kids?

Also does anyone remember teddy ruxpin?

Hey anyone have or had the smurfs pvc’s?( the little plastic smurfs) I remember playing with them and along with the transformers,gi joe,he-man toys , they rocked!!!!!!!!!

Slinkys also kick ass!!!

Smurfs or snorks?

Vinny Barbarino or Fonzie?

Bo Duke or Luke Duke?

Kitt or General Lee?

Anyone ever solve Rubicks cube?…. I know obviously theres a trick to it … the only trick I know is peeling off the stickers and placing them back on..lol!

Who do you think got higher SAT scores Samuel “Screech” Powers or Steve Urkel?

Anyone besides me wants to see NBC bring back Alf?… I have all the seasons on dvd and I tell you he’s one frickin funny dude?

Oh one more thing did anyone remember trying to break dance back in the day? … I remember getting an empty cardboard box and trying to spin on my head all while listening to a big stereo system.… lol

Okay, Sparky, here’s the thing. You sound like a rabid overcaffeinated gibbon on meth.

When you settle down, you actually don’t sound so bad. The parts that are actually about you are less freaky. It’s admirable that you want to keep learning things, and that you are thoughtful, and that you like to do things for others. I’m sure you’re not a bad catch.

But I’m exhausted just reading your ad. I can’t imagine sitting in a room with you for more than ten minutes without needing to go take a nap afterwards. Then again, I also can’t imagine sitting in a room with you watching four seasons of Alf. I’m pretty sure that’s considered torture under the Geneva Convention.

Here’s my recommendations: Let up on the 80s nostalgia. I was there too, and it wasn’t that great. Don’t admit that you have favorite Transformers — that’s just weird. And … “A Very Brady Sequel”? Really? Really?

And now you’ve put “Africa” by Toto in my head, and that’s bad too.

Submitted by Cheryl — you can thank her or blame her, whichever you choose.

132 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 February 24
    HappyNat permalink

    So this is what William Holden Caulfield is up to . . .

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 August 7
      eeyore19 permalink

      Hey, nice Too Much Joy reference!

      Adores: 0
  2. 2009 February 24
    Breane permalink

    lol lol lol. I think my head just exploded. Did he really reference Teddy Ruxpin? I’m both intruiged and terrified. This is making my eye twitch.

    Adores: 2
  3. 2009 February 24
    JenP permalink

    I imagine Bill lives in his parents’ basement…and the whole works is stuck in some bizarre ’80’s time warp with internet access. It’s so weird…

    Adores: 1
  4. 2009 February 24
    Budgyrl permalink

    He likes A Very Brady Sequal so much, he mentioned it TWICE! Rabid overcaffeinated gibbon on meth in deed.

    He’s actually not a bad looking guy and the dog is just too cute, but wow.

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 March 15
      sunny permalink

      he mentions Searching for Bobby Fischer twice, also. I was interested until I found out he cheats at Rubik’s cube.

      Adores: 1
  5. 2009 February 24
    Courtney permalink

    I think he borrowed a few prescriptions from the pharmacy and this is the devastating reaction the interaction warnings were talking about. In pieces, this guy is digestable. He’s not an unattractive guy, either. Funny, I was thinking “is he on *meth* or *what*?” before I even scrolled down to the commentary. Because this is just…. dizzying.
    I LOVED the first Brady movie. Loved it. Own it. Couldn’t get enough of it for a while. The sequel SUCKED. If I got through all of that and thought this guy was for me – that woulda killed it right there. lol. That and the Rubiks Cube. I’m not a visual person – can’t visualize in “3D,” so I could never solve it either. But it didn’t take my seven-year-old brain very long to figure out that Rubiks Cubes *come apart* and are easily put back together. Once you peel off the stickers, you may as well just buy a new cube. Or, really, just save your money. *shaking head*
    Ah well, guess it just wasn’t meant to be. lol.

    Adores: 2
  6. 2009 February 24
    katey permalink

    i’ve seen this guy in the baltimore CL for the last 2 months. we emailed him for fun. he didnt answer. i’m assuming his poor little fingers were too tired to type. *cries* oh well.

    Adores: 3
  7. 2009 February 24
    Jane permalink

    Aw. He’s really not a bad guy at heart. I just worry that he’s never been close enough to another person to tell any of this to and that it’s not all out yet.

    Adores: 15
  8. 2009 February 24
    eisyaJ permalink

    YES! I was hoping to see this on here. It was posted several times (over nine or ten months ago) in the OKC area. I wonder if he chooses a different area every few months in hopes he’ll find someone as passionate about Bazooka Joe as he is. (It comes with a comic AND tells your fortune!)

    Does anyone else watch Monk, and if so are you eerily reminded of Monk’s overly talkative neighbor?

    Adores: 2
    • 2009 August 31
      Stinkerbell permalink

      I saw him on the OKC CraigsList too. He’s posting in other metros as well? Now I do have to wonder…

      Adores: 0
      • 2011 April 1
        Yutolia permalink

        Maybe they’re all clones that had something so seriously wrong….

        Adores: 0
  9. 2009 February 24

    He must post in several different areas…I’ve seen him on the Albuquerque CL several different times.

    Adores: 1
  10. 2009 February 24

    So, let’s see. He’s 33 now, which means that he was in his early teens in the 80s. And his focus is still (20 years later) is on what he experienced during those years when most people are changing rapidly, trying to figure out who they are. But he’s stuck in a time warp, of sorts. Never grew beyond the age of 14, and it shows.

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 August 31
      Kagenin permalink

      What shocks me are all the early-to-mid 90’s Nickelodeon shows he cites. He would have been in his 20s for those then… and I have a hard time revisiting most of the shows I watched when I was 13…

      Adores: 1
  11. 2009 February 24
    Skinny permalink

    Let me think, he’s posting in Baltimore AND OKC? Sounds like a troll to me…it’s a good joke, but it’s a joke.

    Adores: 0
  12. 2009 February 24

    Sigh… I’m tired too. And I’ve met people like this (wanna-be comedian types)and so am further traumatized. I think he’s taking the same meds as this guy I posted about:

    Adores: 0
  13. 2009 February 24
    D / DM permalink

    Aww he remembers Teddy Ruxpin!

    How can women NOT love this guy? Especially with the mystery grab bag.

    Adores: 2
  14. 2009 February 24
    Jaime permalink

    He looks an awful lot like my ex-husband’s best friend. Not him, but I had to do a double-take. Really funny part about that is that ad sounds like he used to when I talked to him, lol. He babbled constantly.

    Adores: 0
  15. 2009 February 24
    Ri L. permalink

    This is that guy in middle school who followed you around babbling because you made the mistake of talking to him once. 🙁

    Adores: 19
  16. 2009 February 24
    candace permalink

    I took the challenge to read it all, but only made it halfway.

    My favorite:
    “Sure you’ll have communication problems in a relationship with a mime , but at least his actions speak louder than his words.”

    He’s either VERY lonely, a high-functioning psycho, or trying to get on ‘yousuckatcraigslist’ lol.

    Adores: 1
  17. 2009 February 24

    Awwww, you girls are too harsh. He just sounds nervous and insecure and sort of goofily sincere. And he’s built nice and has a nice handsome face. If I were single and he were gay, I’d date him. Heck, you’d never have to try to keep the conversation going with him, would you?

    Adores: 9
  18. 2009 February 24
    Anne A Tomic permalink

    I’ve seen this one posting in Denver M4W. I love a nerdboy, I really do, but Christ! put the keyboard down!

    Adores: 2
  19. 2009 February 24

    If you distilled every single one of my guy friends from high school and mixed it in a vat of speed and Pixie Stix you’d end up with this guy.

    Adores: 7
  20. 2009 February 24
    Courtney permalink

    Confirmed in Boston! http://boston.craigslist.org/gbs/m4w/1038376979.html

    I found him by searching “Brady,” lol.

    So… what do you think this guy’s story really is? Is it a hoax? Desperation? Some weird ploy to get random e-mails from women around the country? Or is he really, really trying really, really hard for a spot on YSaC? If that was his goal – mission accomplished, my friend. Good job. Any of those others? Seek professional mental help.

    Adores: 0
  21. 2009 February 24
    drmk permalink

    How odd. I don’t remember where Cheryl found him (edited to add: Lexington, KY) but it certainly does appear as though he gets around.

    It’s probably the meth-induced frenzy.

    Adores: 0
  22. 2009 February 24
    aims permalink

    I really tried, by it all started blurring together. I don’t know, if I were single, I might be able to get past his uh… quirks. He’s a nice looking boy and I do like massages and dark chocolate dipped strawberries…

    Adores: 0
  23. 2009 February 24
    dihya permalink

    I’ve also seen this ad posted — repeatedly — in the Knoxville M4W.

    Adores: 0
  24. 2009 February 24
    Anonymous permalink


    Adores: 0
  25. 2009 February 24
    kati permalink

    my. eyes. won’t. stop. twitching.

    can I have some of whatever he has?

    Adores: 1
  26. 2009 February 24

    Also posted in DFW. Get a life, dude!

    Adores: 0
  27. 2009 February 24
    drmk permalink

    Okay, if he’s posted it in all these places, and you all have seen it before …. WHY DIDN’T YOU SEND IT TO ME????!???!

    Adores: 9
  28. 2009 February 24
    robbie permalink

    what a poor guy, did he really feel the need to type out every single thing about himself? if someone actually replied to this, and he got a first date, what would they talk about? she already knows everything about him. literally everything. btw i found your site from PAN. i now love this site! added to my favorites!

    Adores: 2
  29. 2009 February 24
    Cheryl permalink

    drmk, all I can say is, now you know who your true friends are 🙂

    I had no idea this was posted in other cities too. The plot thickens.

    Adores: 0
  30. 2009 February 24
    sinnamongirl permalink

    Just to make it more random, I’ve been seeing his ads in the Portland, Oregon CL since last year…. at least he’s thorough?

    Adores: 0
  31. 2009 February 24
    Courtney permalink

    DRMK, I just looked because everyone seemed to be familiar with Prince Charming, there. Out of curiosity, I just checked my old stomping ground – he’s posted in Portland, OR on the 17th. Checked my future stomping ground (switching coasts again this summer) and he posted in SF on the 20th. AND, out of even more curiosity – Vancouver, BC – so he’s gone international. Unless he has a bot to do all of these postings (I’m thinking no because the headlines are different), this is like a full time job. We have ourselves a YSaC mystery. Who wants to e-mail him and find out why he’s posted in every North American geographic area available via CL? 🙂

    Adores: 0
  32. 2009 February 24
    drmk permalink

    I nominate Courtney!

    Adores: 0
  33. 2009 February 24
    Courtney permalink

    I would do it if my last name wasn’t in domain/e-mail – it’s on all of my e-mail. Hell, if this guy even knew my first name I’d feel desperate and dirty. lol. I will set up a new gmail account, though, if nobody else wants to do it. If he’s not answering the Baltimore ladies up there, I doubt he’ll have a good explanation for this. I have a feeling it’ll be ignored… I’m still terribly curious though.

    Adores: 0
  34. 2009 February 24
    candace permalink

    I’ll do it! Someone send me a link…

    all I can find is this guy:


    Adores: 0
  35. 2009 February 25
    leftyfro permalink

    Well, at least he works at a pharamacy. Employment is a step up from my last boyfriend. :/

    Adores: 0
  36. 2009 February 25
    Courtney permalink

    Yay, Candace! Woo hoo! The link I posted up there somewhere is current. Or, go to any major metro and seach for “Brady” under m4w… lol. I would play it off like “I live here but am moving there and saw you both places… I think you’re cute, do you live here or there?” The more-flies-with-honey approach… just a suggestion. Just be careful not to use an e-mail associated with your MySpace since it’s pretty open. I’m sure he’s harmless… but he’s definitely got social issues that may translate to boundary issues. lol.

    Adores: 0
  37. 2009 February 25

    We need a GPS tracker on this guy…

    Adores: 1
  38. 2009 February 25

    I like to keep my partner on their tip toes. I like to keep them guessing on what I’m going to do next.

    Wow. That kind of scares me. It reminds me of this creepy book I read wherein this annoying boy has a crush on the main character. He keeps popping up to scare her. He buys her a jack-in-the-box. Then he is killed during one of his stunts and comes back as a corpse to chase her because he looooves her and likes to keep her guessing.

    Adores: 2
  39. 2009 February 25
    Jane Lane permalink

    I think he is perfect for me.. except for maybe the whole thing with his face.. and oh yes.. the transformers, personally, I thought there were only about 5!

    Adores: 0
  40. 2009 February 25
    Shyla permalink

    Wow. Just wow. It was like pulling teeth to get my last boyfriend to say more than 2 words. I think I just found his evil twin.

    Adores: 2
  41. 2009 February 25
    Katie permalink

    If it is real, this reads like he might possibly be high functioning Autistic or Aspergers. I’ve run across a few people online who have one or the other and he follows the pattern of what their posts are like pretty closely.

    It would definitely explain the lists of 80s fascinations and the rambling. My guess is that, other than being really intense and possibly a little awkward, he’s probably not as bad as this makes him look.

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 August 7
      eeyore19 permalink

      I definitely agree with the Asperger’s theory. I have Asperger’s myself, but certainly nowhere near as extreme as this guy.

      Adores: 0
  42. 2009 February 25
    Jackie permalink

    kati wrote: “can I have some of whatever he has?”

    I’m with Katie on this one: I suspect what he has is an autism spectrum disorder. I’m on the spectrum myself, and I’ve met SO many people like this guy in online support groups (and on a dating site for people with autism/AS). In fact, the picture looks awfully familiar. I wonder if I actually know this guy…

    Adores: 1
  43. 2009 February 25
    candace permalink

    Courtney – post has expired. Ah well. Too bad; I could’ve at least had some fun being nostalgic about Gummy Bears or something 😉

    Adores: 0
  44. 2009 February 25
    pjp permalink

    The first thing I thought upon reading this was Asperger’s. My 7 year old son has it. He loves Home Alone 1 and 2 (and the two other sequels!) too. It made me a little wistful to wonder if this is what his future foray into internet personals might be like. :S

    Adores: 2
  45. 2009 February 25
    drmk permalink

    Candace … wait five minutes; he’ll post another one. You’re not getting away that easily.

    Adores: 0
  46. 2009 February 25
    Rachel permalink

    He posts in the Cincinnati craigslist constantly, it must be a joke if he’s posting in so many different cities.

    Adores: 1
  47. 2009 February 25
    Courtney permalink

    Candace – seriously – go to any major metro – SF, Portland, OR, OKC, etc and go to M4W and search “brady” and you will find him.

    Adores: 0
  48. 2009 February 25
    kati permalink

    Jackie, my son is autistic – if he ever wrote an ad like this, it’d be all about cars and Nascar. Thankfully he’s barely convinced that girls even exist so far.

    As for Mr. 80’s, yeah I could see him perhaps being on the spectrum but WOW. It’s hard not to just bite my lip and shake my head.

    Adores: 1
  49. 2009 February 25
    julie permalink

    He constantly posts in the Los Angeles MFW too…Crazy!!

    Adores: 0
  50. 2009 February 25
    M.R. permalink

    I’ve seen this post in the Gainesville, Florida CL too for the record. O.o;;

    Adores: 0
  51. 2009 February 26
    dogface permalink

    Rachel: Yeah, I saw him in the Cincinnati CL, too.

    I’m wondering if he actually lives in any of these cities or if this fella (or maybe lady posing as a fella) lives in a different country or something.

    Or maybe this person is for dead-serious and doesn’t care where which part of the country a potential relationship comes from.

    Hmmmm… Now I’m vacillating between thinking this is a joke and thinking it’s for dead-serious…

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 September 16
      Kara permalink

      I think it’s unlikely he lives in another country. Just the Reeces Pieces thing is very US specific

      Adores: 0
  52. 2009 February 26

    Found in Sacramento too! This guy really gets around.

    Adores: 0
  53. 2009 February 26
    christine permalink

    this is posted in NJ- north and central as well. he’s looking for it wherever he can get it.

    Adores: 0
  54. 2009 February 26

    Found him in New York City.

    Adores: 0
  55. 2009 February 26
    Anonymous permalink

    What walks down stairs alone or in pairs and makes a slinkety sound

    Adores: 0
  56. 2009 February 26
    Michi permalink

    Up until the pictures, I was sure I knew this guy. Now I’m terrified that there are two of them. Only this one is cuter >.>

    Adores: 0
  57. 2009 February 27

    found in phoenix too… or fa-ho-nix as we like to call it and we’ll be honest… he might be the best thing goin’ on out here.

    also – do you think the shirtless pic is really him?? it looks like his head pasted on a body… maybe that’s just me…


    Adores: 0
  58. 2009 February 28
    Michelle permalink

    Love the website! I can’t find Brady on the I.E (So.Cal.) craigslist but wow I feel dirty now. I think I’ll just come here and browse from now on instead.

    Adores: 0
  59. 2009 March 2

    He posts at least weekly in the Denver m4w section. How crazy he is posting in all these other cities. He seems to go back and forth between two different ads. They are both 80’s focused with that stupid Reese Witherspoon thing, but the pictures are different. Bizarre to say the least.

    Adores: 0
  60. 2009 March 2
    chris permalink

    oh how i wish this were a girl.

    Adores: 0
  61. 2009 March 2
    Rin Twisted permalink

    Lex, I absolutely thought that pic was photoshopped.

    I think this is definitely a hoax. For one thing- maybe this sounds superficial, but I think I’m just being practical- if those photos were real he wouldn’t have any trouble hooking up with someone. Whether they’d STAY long is another matter entirely, but I’m just saying no trouble with a initial contact. Honestly, I came in here expecting to see him skewered by now, and I think the suprising positive response is due to those photos- he’s just so gosh darn cute, with a nice body and a cute dog? How can you be mean to that? Add the multiple city postings, and I think we have the makings of a classic hoax here.

    Adores: 1
  62. 2009 March 2
    Emily permalink

    I just found him in Chicago, too: http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/m4w/1057049265.html

    Adores: 0
  63. 2009 March 2

    The B&W picture’s totally faked. Not that it is the least of my concerns with this guy!

    Adores: 0
  64. 2009 March 3
    Colleen in MA permalink

    I was gonna let him slide – it’s a very creative dating ad, after all – but even he mentions walks on the beach. auuggghhhhh.

    Adores: 1
  65. 2009 March 5
    Brunogirl permalink

    Am I the only person who sees a startling resemblence between this guys actual name and Abilify the ADD drug.

    I’m just guessing some person in the pharmaceutical industry is acquainted with this guy.

    I know somebody like this, I love him and he’s a good friend, but he wears me out. 🙂

    Adores: 0
  66. 2009 March 5
    Brunogirl permalink

    Oh shizz… it’s not for ADD – but manic-depressiveness and schizophrenia… even better!

    I totally should have goodled it first. comment fail, drug naming WIN. 😉

    Adores: 0
  67. 2009 March 5
    Charlie Everywhere permalink

    Under “Favorite movie and tv characters,” he does realize Bruce Lee is a real person, right? He’s got him listed alongside Gargamel, Slimer, and MacGyver.

    Adores: 3
    • 2009 March 5
      drmk permalink

      Charlie Everywhere … are you saying Gargamel isn’t real???

      Adores: 4
  68. 2009 March 13
    blake permalink

    One Word; WOW
    Kids, this is why drugs are bad

    Adores: 0
  69. 2009 March 17
    Anna permalink

    He’s been posting this exact ad on the Indianapolis boards for a very long time. Creepy.

    Adores: 0
  70. 2009 March 17
    Kodie permalink

    This seems composed in all sincerity and then reposted by others as a joke or meme. Probably why they don’t answer when you email, and posted to every city. The comments seem to focus on all the movies and characters, and aside from that he seemed like a spazzy nice guy. What about the first 3 paragraphs and all the awkward jokes and t-shirt design proposals?! “It’s a cross between the sopranos and flinstones” cartoon about the life of crayons indeed.

    Adores: 0
  71. 2009 April 2
    iliidae permalink

    He’s been posting this in Ann Arbor forever too. wtf m8

    Adores: 0
  72. 2009 April 6
    porkdisco permalink

    constantly posts this in chattanooga craigslist too.

    Adores: 0
  73. 2009 April 7
    sara permalink

    AND Cincinnati.

    Adores: 0
  74. 2009 April 9
    elisssabeth permalink

    This guy is a perfect match for my male cousin, whom the entire family has suspected is gay since he was about 2, but he would/will not ever admit it even if he was. Teddy Ruxpin, Garbage Patch Kids, Golden Girls (seriously!) and all.

    What is wrong with his left eye though? It is curiously hidden in two photos, and in the color photo, it looks a LOT smaller than the right eye. Like, “something is wrong” smaller…not just “no one has perfectly matching eyes” smaller.

    Adores: 0
  75. 2009 April 16
    lolo permalink

    Take your lithium, manic boy. Pressured speech much?

    Adores: 0
  76. 2009 April 17
    Vanessa permalink

    Trivial point but interesting how a simple capitalization and elimination of spaces makes “Goodwill hunting” sound like the story of someone’s adventures in thrift store shopping.

    Few things are more painful to me than bad jokes. Other than the fact I really don’t need to watch any more TV, I can’t fathom having to pretend amusement over Viagra and horny old folk jokes.

    Adores: 0
  77. 2009 April 17
    megan permalink

    so should not be sharing this with everyone, but i am a member of an amateur nude site (basically porn) and i swear to goodness that those pictures have been on there! i’m gonna get on it right now and search for him, b/c i know i’ve seen those pics before.

    Adores: 0
  78. 2009 April 30
    Stephieee permalink

    I want a mystery grab bag!

    But… Baby Looney Tunes???? SERIOUSLY?

    Adores: 1
  79. 2009 May 2

    I mark this guy as spam every week in Baton Rouge. I’ve seen him post in Houston as well, every week, for the past six months at least. Ugh. Every time I accidentally click on the link and read that Reese Witherspoon joke, I want to kill myself.

    Adores: 0
  80. 2009 May 8
    VagabondClown permalink

    That’s such a shame. He’s pretty easy on the eyes.

    Adores: 0
  81. 2009 June 17

    I saw this ad in the Madison, Wi C List… I almost replied to it! I mean, he sounds kind of awesome. 🙂

    Adores: 2
  82. 2009 June 19
    cyth permalink

    This guy posts for Worcester, MA and Boston all the time. And this just in from my buddy, he posts in Providence too!

    Adores: 0
  83. 2009 June 20
    Christina permalink

    This guy reminds me of Jimmy from South Park with the jokes. All that’s missing is “w-w-wow what a great audience!”

    Adores: 0
  84. 2009 June 24
    Michelle permalink

    Is it bad that while reading this I thought: “Wow we have the same favourite transformer!”
    But the endless list of bad 80s romcoms really really REALLY turns me off. And the rest of the world I presume.

    Adores: 0
  85. 2009 June 27
    Adam permalink

    I’m gonna bet this guy was excited when Alf came back. In pog form.

    Adores: 0
  86. 2009 July 3
    Beth permalink

    He’s STILL posting on the Hartford, Baltimore, and NYC Craigslists, only he’s traded the dog picture for another shirtless one. I’m almost tempted to write this guy to see if he talks like this outside of CL.

    Adores: 0
  87. 2009 July 5
    Heather permalink

    Yup, I’ve seen him in Rhode Island too!

    Adores: 0
  88. 2009 July 7
    ham permalink

    I stopped reading at “I work in a pharmacy.”

    Adores: 0
  89. 2009 July 8
    Ivy permalink

    He has posted several times in Portland Oregon.

    Adores: 0
  90. 2009 July 13
    Sean H. permalink

    Did you notice that most often he uses gender neutral words like “someone” or “their?” This is rare for a straight man. I noticed this cuz he’s doable, crazy or not.

    Adores: 0
  91. 2009 August 8
    Victoria permalink

    He’s posted in Tampa Bay’s craigslist too. Sheesh.

    Adores: 0
  92. 2009 August 14
    ash permalink

    Wow, he’d cut out a coupon for me, for makeup? I’m in love. And offended at the same time.

    Adores: 1
  93. 2009 August 20
    Heidi permalink

    Oh, shoot. This is an old one, but I had to say, that “favorite movies” list made me laugh… twenty five to thirty “favorites”…wonder what his non-faves list looks like? hahahaha!

    and then the pic…he isn’t too bad looking…maybe the whole post is a joke…? maybe he borrowed a friend’s pic? *scratching head in puzzlement* *and laughing*

    Adores: 0
  94. 2009 August 20
    Dagny permalink

    The comment about bringing back Alf had me laughing.

    Adores: 0
  95. 2009 August 20
    Emily permalink

    This guy posts on the Tucson cl all the time!

    Adores: 0
  96. 2009 August 25
    Arianna permalink

    I think my favorite part had to be the fact that he listed his favorite move and tv characters but felt that Transformers were just too vital to include in that list, and therefore needed their own. Perfect.

    Adores: 3
  97. 2009 August 31
    Teresa permalink

    I just found this blog the other night and I love it! But this one caught my attention so i did a myspace search for “abilio” and found this (pics NSFW at all!) http://www.myspace.com/48433714

    Adores: 0
  98. 2009 September 1
    Innana permalink

    Well, he’s in the D.C. Craigslist, too.

    Adores: 0
  99. 2009 September 5

    At least he’s moderately ripped.

    Then again, Photoshop does wonders.

    Also, ‘the fuck is with the dog?

    The dog that appears to be cowering a little bit.

    Possibly from the sheer force of the word vomit coming from his owner(?).

    Totally stopped reading when I saw how small the scroll bar thingy was.

    Adores: 0
  100. 2009 September 5

    From the looks of his MySpace it’s not photoshop.

    Also noticed a slight resemblance to both my brother and an underage friend of mine.

    Going to go vomit now.

    Adores: 0
  101. 2009 September 5

    All things considered, he’s not horrible.

    He can spell/write moderately well. Sort of. He’s most certainly attractive.

    If it weren’t for the multiple posts over multiple Craigslists, the fact that he’s completely spastic, the fact that I have a girlfriend, and the fact that this is over the internet, I just might have responded.

    Just realized he looks a little like another friend of mine as well.

    Only 10x more ripped.

    Adores: 0
  102. 2009 September 7

    Is it just me, or does he look slightly different in the fourth photo?

    Adores: 4
  103. 2009 September 9
    Melody permalink

    I lived in Austin for awhile and I’d see his long posts… but then I moved to the Dallas area and thought it was strange he was posting there too! Haven’t been on CL personals lately but as soon as I saw this on YSaC and all the comments about all the cities… it made more sense.

    Adores: 0
  104. 2009 September 10
    "Jim" permalink

    Are there ANY guys who read this? I’m feeling more and more girly the more I spend time here….. (OMG LOL)

    Adores: 0
  105. 2009 September 13
    Lyndsay permalink

    update: found again posting in Boston!


    Adores: 0
  106. 2009 September 13
    2Sly4You permalink

    And again in Atlanta on 9/11. http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/m4w/1369582258.html

    Adores: 0
  107. 2009 September 13
    J-Man permalink

    With so many posts, on so many different CLs, I would bet that this whole thing is a fake. If it’s not, then it must be a desperate plea for help/attention. And if he is real, then he really does need help.

    @”Jim” – If it helps, I’m a guy who just found this site, but will be coming here more and more because these things are funny as hell. 🙂

    Adores: 0
  108. 2009 September 18
    Shane permalink

    I agree that this is probably a hoax started from an original, sincerely written ad by someone with an autism spectrum disorder. Who knows where this guy is actually from, but with it popping up all over North America it is probably only being propagated by “pranksters” and not the original poster.

    Adores: 3
  109. 2009 September 20
    queenie permalink

    I feel sure he has Asperger’s. My partner does, and although he isn’t like this, you can see how a more extreme version of him might be. He read this post along with me and we both said “Asperger’s” long before we read the comments saying so.

    The fact that the guy is good-looking is not surprising. Lots of Asperger’s people are (it’s genetic, after all). And the fact he’s good-looking and yet desperate for a partner is also not very surprising. All those lists….good looks don’t make up for it. His wanting a partner and even being a loving person won’t compensate for his being totally unable to figure out how to find someone or interact with her.

    Fortunately my boyfriend’s Asperger’s is fairly mild. I feel really sorry for this guy.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 October 30
      NotMyName permalink

      Yes,I feel sorry for this guy too, although it seems that most of the other people posting comments aren’t so tolerant. Then again, I have Asperger’s myself, and thus can relate to him. Slightly, anyways.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 October 30
        NotMyName permalink

        I have an addendum to add: I’m going to have to remember not to read the comments on this one again, seeing how it’s pissing me off that lots of people seem to think he either is on drugs, or needs them.

        Adores: 0
  110. 2009 September 28
    Josee permalink

    found the guy on sept 25th (i think) on craigslist orlando, florida. i created a fake email and emailed him, to see if this is a joke or legit.

    oh and @(cant remember name) reese’s pieces arent strictly US. I live in Canada and we have them. Have had them for a long time. Its a friend of mine’s like favorite childhood candy.

    but reading this guys stuff takes me back. the 80’s produced a lot of cool stuff.

    personally i must say if it weren’t for the fact that id be afraid that this guy wouldnt shut up, and I were single, I might consider a shout out to this guy. He’s funny, seems genuine and nice. But my god he could talk all of our ears off…..

    Adores: 1
  111. 2009 September 28
    toxictink permalink

    um wow … i’m pretty sure my eyes just crossed and my brain ran out my ear to hide under the bed. he seems like he would mean well but has a bit of an overshare issue. that and could probably use mood stabilizers, or horse trancs, your choice.

    Adores: 0
  112. 2009 October 10
    yehbutt permalink

    As tenaciously thorough as he is, am I the only one who wouldn’t be surprised if he was just as tenaciously thorough at posting this on every CL?

    And hey, maybe that’s what it takes to get a serious response to this ad.

    Adores: 0
  113. 2009 December 2
    emesis permalink

    I love it! This is just like a Where’s Waldo adventure on Craigslist. But Waldo is half naked and on meth.

    Adores: 0
  114. 2009 December 29
    qualityleashdog permalink

    Must have worked at pharmacies in Louisville and Cincinnati, I’ve seen him in both cities over and over again.

    Adores: 0
  115. 2010 January 11
    Chelsea permalink

    Does anybody else think a Flintstones-meets-Sopranos cartoon could be a hit on Adult Swim?

    Adores: 0
  116. 2010 March 1
    Adam permalink

    I’m more confused by the fact that he seems to think there were three Gremlins movies. Did his meth-addled brain invent another sequel? If so, I’m sure it’s better than any of us can possibly imagine.

    Adores: 0
  117. 2010 July 12
    blinkingblythe permalink

    Too verbose O=v=O

    Adores: 0
  118. 2010 August 4

    Mike Tyson’s punchout? lol! What a cute small boy still lives inside you! 🙂

    Adores: 0
  119. 2010 December 1

    That was a most entertaining read. Thank you sir for getting me through a long Wednesday.

    Adores: 0

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