YSaC, Vol. 310: And then there’s …

2009 May 23
tags:
by drmk

Life sized cardboard cutout of Beatrice Arthur


Ive been having medical issue and can no longer use this for its intended purpose. Free to a good home email me to arrange pick up if no replies she is going in the trash 🙁

What on earth IS the intended purpose of a lifesized cardboard cutout of Bea Arthur? And what medical issue would prevent said use? The mind boggles.

58 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 May 23
    araispoetry permalink

    Maybe they’ve gone blind and they can’t see it any more.
    My only other ideas creep me the hell out.

    Adores: 24
  2. 2009 May 23

    This one is so painful. Is the medical issue that he’s been treated with necrophilia and now that she’s dead, his psychiatrist has advised that masturbating to it would set him back…?

    The mind boggles.

    Adores: 16
  3. 2009 May 23

    Now, personally, I would love to own a life-size cardboard cutout of Bea Arthur. I almost medically need one, so much do I need one. Why would he/she put such a thing in the trash? Does it really take up that much space? Just hide it behind a door! But, in that case, one might forget it’s there and shut the door and… well. That might be scary.

    Adores: 12
    • 2009 May 27
      web permalink

      Absolutely. And then we could start another urban legend like the one from “Look Who’s Talking” with the cardboard cutout of Ted Danson. Only this time it will be of a dead person. Imagine the possibilities, should be good for a ton of laughs.

      Adores: 5
  4. 2009 May 23
    Olson permalink

    Ouch! Ouch! OUCH!!
    This hurts my brain!

    (Maybe the medical condition is an allergy to cardboard….or Bea Arthur…or….life-sized stuff….or normalcy)

    Adores: 12
  5. 2009 May 23
    Olson permalink

    Maybe this should also be tagged under “fun with pictures”….

    Adores: 4
  6. 2009 May 23

    “Medical issue” = massive paper cuts, perhaps?

    Adores: 17
  7. 2009 May 23

    I don’t even dare to let my imagination run away on this one…

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 May 23
      kristen55 permalink

      Eyes crunched closed, hands over ears, going ‘la la la la I can’t hear you’! I seriously don’t want to know anymore about this ad. In fact I will stop thinking about it now! Thx!

      Adores: 8
  8. 2009 May 23

    Where was this posted?!? I need this cutout, my life isn’t complete without it!!!!!!! I’ll dress up as Sofia and we’ll reenact Golden Girls scenes.
    *Ahem* Sorry, I just really love The Golden Girls.

    Adores: 10
  9. 2009 May 23
    Manda permalink

    This is just creepy…I can’t even think of what this would be used for and I’m not going to push it…I think my mind is blocking all those thoughts out to protect itself!

    Adores: 5
  10. 2009 May 23
    LadyUranus permalink

    I think it’s pretty clear what the “medical issue” is, but my brain just doesn’t want to process it…

    Adores: 10
  11. 2009 May 24
    JeffS permalink

    Why would he bother to add the caveat of a “good home” for it if it will otherwise be going into the trash?

    Adores: 10
  12. 2009 May 25

    Someone remind me again which medical condition greatly reduces its victims’ sense of irony?

    Adores: 14
    • 2011 July 3
      Addicted Reader permalink

      Anemia.

      Adores: 9
      • 2011 July 27
        Dete permalink

        You, sir or madam, just made my day.

        Adores: 0
  13. 2009 May 25
    L H permalink

    Please tell me this wasn’t posted in M4W or W4M!!!!

    In my search for the logic, I’m guessing the poster has to move due to illness (not being able to work.) And its “intended purpose” of wall art cannot be accomodated in the new accomadations? Lord, please let this be the reason?!

    Adores: 7
  14. 2009 June 14

    The only thing that could improve this ad is if it mentioned being “slightly stained.”

    Adores: 21
  15. 2009 June 16

    I actually want it too!!!! Where can I get it?

    Adores: 0
  16. 2009 July 29

    it’s quite clear this person has some sort of connection to this cut-out because the poster says, “SHE is going in the trash,” not “IT is going in the trash.”

    poor bea, at least have the decency to recycle HER!

    Adores: 7
  17. 2009 July 29
    Hmmmmm permalink

    Is the medical condition that he’s run out of jizzzz?

    Adores: 7
  18. 2009 August 17
    Norm Walter Breck permalink

    If it’s still available at this late date, I’d take it in a minute; it would fit my condo’s “Maude”-ern decor.

    Adores: 18
  19. 2009 August 26
    Julieta permalink

    Dancing! Dancing! Dancing! Please just be dancing.

    Adores: 9
  20. 2009 September 26
    thatreevesgirl permalink

    I know that at my house my roommate uses cardboard cutouts at her dinner parties/regular parties. It is always nice to have the half-naked fireman, the random red dress busty woman, and Austin Powers to laugh at (especially after breaking out the tequila or the wine). I think Bea Arthur would be a grand addition to my roommate’s fold. XD

    Also, we sometimes tape a picture of her grandmother’s face to red boob woman’s body and joke that she is having an affair with the hot half-naked fireman. Usually this only happens if Grandma is there to see it and joke with us. ^__^

    Adores: 11
    • 2009 September 28

      I really go to the wrong parties. We never have cardboard cutouts lifesize or otherwise.

      Adores: 12
  21. 2009 September 28
    Rachel permalink

    I want to know what qualifies as “a good home” for a cardboard cutout.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 January 18
      Windrose permalink

      I had roommates who took life size cardboard cutouts to the nearest rural area that allowed target shooting, and set them up as targets. I would imagine that’s not a good home for Bea. And the cutouts never came back from these outings. I would think there should be a museum somewhere that would have taken this as a donation.

      Adores: 8
  22. 2010 June 11
    Jake permalink

    I REALLY need a Bea Arthur Life size cut out

    Adores: 0
  23. 2010 July 16
    LurkRealClose permalink

    Beatrice Arthur
    The cut out must be cut out
    I have some issues

    Adores: 3
  24. 2011 April 3
    Windrose permalink

    *puts up the museum golden ropes* Here, snarkers, you see the very beginning of the Bea Arthur meme at YSaC, Stand back, please. Do not touch the comments. Yes, while there followed a caveman and a Hasselhoff, Ms. Arthur was the original. She is a saint here at YSaC, and is revered in the bees we bestow on our Llama-nun and Ostrimu.

    That concludes our tour, please exit through the gift shop.

    Adores: 8
    • 2011 April 3
      Artsy Computer Geek permalink

      wait … wait … wait … wait … Mrs. Windy – Can I get a picture of you by Bea Arthur? I may never have another opportunity.

      One of your captive fans
      (No I’m not a stalker!!! Who said I was? It was that Typo guy or one of these dogs – maybe the one with the teeth — or it could have been that Sister Nacho chick or the ghost cat …… wait … wait just a minute)

      goes quietly to take my medication…..

      Adores: 10
      • 2011 April 3
        Windrose permalink

        Artsy, I understand completely! Now, be sure to get my good side!

        Adores: 2
        • 2011 April 3
          Irregular Fractal permalink

          If I were to bring Bea Arthur to the YSaC museum to get a picture of her with the Bea Arthur cutout, would the universe explode?

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 April 3
          Windrose permalink

          IF, let’s just not try that little experiment, shall we? 8)

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 July 2
          CapnMac permalink

          Quite. Given that Ms Arthur has slipped the mortal coil. arriving with a living version would seem to presume a flood of tachyons and quantum state casual issues that would be as complicated as the situation if you merely had the mortal remains in custody, what with the Blues Brothers-like stream of LE trailing in behind you . . .

          Adores: 3
    • 2011 April 3
      CapnMac permalink

      Ooh, just saw, yesterday, that Sony is working on a 360º display device that will likely change museum displays as we know them.

      The display is “gesture sensitive” so you can turn an object without actually touching it. But, the display is all light, so there is no risk to the displayed item.

      Adores: 3
  25. 2011 April 4
    Windrose permalink

    Here’s your first Punchity Punch Punch, Raoul! Hope you enjoy it.

    G’Night, New York!

    Adores: 0
  26. 2011 July 2
    ToBScholarly permalink

    I would love a life size cut out of Bea Arthur! It will go well with my Christopher Walken one.

    I always thought they would make a cute couple.

    Adores: 5
  27. 2011 July 2

    Reasons you would have to give up your life-sized cardboard cutout of Bea Arthur;

    1. Sudden onset of allergy to cardboard

    2. Your imaginary friend is jealous of her

    3. Her disapproving glare is affecting your quality “t-shirt time”

    4. You’ve grown apart and found new cardboard friends

    5. Every time you blink, she gets a little bit closer … closer … AHHHH!

    Adores: 11
    • 2011 July 2

      6. You thought you bought a life size cutout of Arthur Dent, until you noticed he wasn’t carrying a towel.

      Adores: 8
  28. 2011 July 2

    My ex would have snapped that up in a heartbeat. When I was in law school, he got one of those cardboard cut-out movie promotions and propped it up in our living room.

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 July 2
      Windrose permalink

      Hold on, you left out some important information! Which movie? Which character/actor? Inquiring Minds want to know if he’s a pervy elf fancier! (As am I.)

      Adores: 6
  29. 2011 July 2
    Angel permalink

    My oldest son had a life-size Michael Jordan cutout. He’d stage it in different parts of the house to freak us out. Apparently nothing is more hilarious to a (then) 16-year old boy than to hear his mom scream ’cause Michael Jordan was in her bathroom when she flipped on the light. It was like I lived with a 6’6″ ninjacat.

    Adores: 11
    • 2011 July 3
      SilvaNoir permalink

      I must have the mind of a 16 year old boy, because that’s pretty funny to me

      Adores: 2
  30. 2011 July 2
    Windrose permalink

    Hammy, you’re in the box. No jumping out unless you have to go to the, you know, little puppy’s room.

    Adores: 7
  31. 2011 July 2

    Life sized plate steel cutout of Beatrice Arthur

    Ive been having medical issue (bad back) and can no longer use this for its intended purpose (bullet proof disguise to discourage rapists). Free to a good home email me to arrange a crane to pick up if no replies she is going to Iraq to scare terrorists.

    Adores: 8
  32. 2011 July 2

    I used to share a flat with a girl who had a life-size Brad Pitt cardboard cutout – I think it was from Legends of the Fall, that would have been around the right time. It stood in the corner to the left of the tv which gave the impression he was disapproving slightly of our viewing choices. Also, it freaked out visitors which was fun.

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 July 2
      Angel permalink

      Disdainful Cat® approves of Disapproving Brad Pitt.

      Adores: 4
  33. 2011 July 2

    This reminds me of a blog my friend read to me once in college in our dorm. The blogger had ordered a cardboard cutout of Buffy for a birthday present for a family member… and received Jesus by mistake.

    Adores: 6
    • 2011 July 2

      I’d have more fun with Cardboard Jesus. Just think of the hide ‘n go seek you could play!

      “I found Jesus! He was under the couch cushions.”

      Adores: 7
  34. 2011 July 2

    I would only take it if it came with a Carrol O’Connor cut out. I could use finger puppets for Jean Simmons, Rob Reiner, and Sally Struthers. Oh, the fun I will have restaging the oft forgotten first appearance of Maude.

    Adores: 1
    • 2011 July 3
      Angel permalink

      Lady Godiva was a freedom rider
      She didn’t care if the whole world looked.
      Joan of Arc, with the Lord to guide her
      She was a sister who really cooked.

      Isadora was the first bra burner
      Ain’t ya glad she showed up. (Oh yeah)
      And when the country was falling apart
      Betsy Ross got it all sewed up.

      And then there’s Maude.
      And then there’s Maude.
      And then there’s Maude.
      And then there’s Maude.
      And then there’s Maude.
      And then there’s Maude.
      And then there’s
      That uncompromisin’, enterprisin’, anything but tranquilizing,
      Right on Maude.

      That Joan of Arc line about the “sister who really cooked” is in bad taste if you think about it. “Cooked”? Seriously?

      Adores: 3
      • 2011 July 3
        Windrose permalink

        And now I know how Joan of Arc felt,
        Now I know how Joan of Arc felt!
        As the flames roast her Roman nose
        and her hearing aid started to melt.

        Much better taste, that one. 8)

        Adores: 0
  35. 2011 July 3
    Windrose permalink

    Hammy, I almost (actually did) forgot to give you your Punchity Punch Punch! Insomnia saves the day,

    G’Night, Tuckahoe!

    Adores: 1

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