YSaC, Vol. 333: Database fail, parts 2 and 3.
Get me hot and satisfied – w4m
I’LL BE AT HOME ALONE TONIGHT AND WANT TO MEET YOU! I AM A VERY ATTRACTIVE YO LOOKING FOR SOME FUN. PLEASE, BE AT LEAST . MY YAHOO ID IS HZEYES.
I love when Craigslist spam bots go horribly, hilariously wrong. Like this:
The craigs list – 34
Hello. I am an MAN looking for an WOMAN who is LAID BACK. I am 21 years old and I like to WATERSKIING and also to CAMPING. I am a good sense of humor with a fun and tall.
My favorite movies are TITANIC, FRIED GREEN TOMATOES, and [ERROR: MOVIE NOT FOUND], but I’m not into chick flicks.
I like to take my dog, MIFFY in the back seet of my HARLEY-DAVIDSON MOTOR CYCLE. Maybe you would like to ride with us?
My favorite music bands are ABBA, AC//DC, and AIROSMITH.
I don’t know how this spambot can say he’s not into chick flicks if he likes TITANIC, FRIED GREEN TOMATOES and [ERROR: MOVIE NOT FOUND] — I bawled my eyes out at all three of them.*
Also, the spambot might want to set the favorite bands field to select items randomly, rather than just picking the first three alphabetically. I’m amused by the combination, though — the Venn diagram of AC/DC fans and ABBA fans so rarely intersects.**
He’s a big fan of gerunds. He is, also, a good sense of humor with a fun and tall. Wait, does a Harley have a back seat? And if it does, and MIFFY is there, where is the LAID BACK WOMAN going to sit?
Wait a minute … chick flicks, ABBA, AC/DC, MIFFY the dog, a Harley — this is a metrosexual spambot! Further proof: The rubber duckie picture came with the post. It’s obviously a postmodern commentary on the influence of Ernie and Bert as the original metrosexuals.
*Actually, I’m the last remaining person on the planet who has not seen Titanic, and I intend to keep it that way. I would actually rather see [ERROR: MOVIE NOT FOUND]. (Again.)
** Someone should do a mashup of T.N.T. and S.O.S., don’t you think?
Thanks to Erin and Roz for the posts!