YSaC, Vol. 357: No connection.

2009 July 9

Liz sends in some “Missed Connections” posts, with this explanation:

“Okay, so there is this guy who ALWAYS posts Missed Connections on our local CL.  He always writes the same things, so we always know it’s him.  And now we also know that when a 37-year-old pops up on there, it’s most likely him.  Some of our favorite lines of his are: “You was pretty and sexy,” “I want to hook up with you,” “we made eye contact,’ and, our favorite, “hope the girl see this.”

We (me and my co-workers) have been following this guy’s posts for about 3 months now.  Every time one pops up, he’s at a new location, and it’s always some sort of eatery. We just don’t understand how one guy can have soooo many missed connections in his lifetime, and it’s always when he’s at lunch or dinner! These are just three that he’s posted in the past month.”

waitress at The Grill – m4w – 37


Date: 2009-06-05, 10:40PM EDT
was eating at the grill on June 4 around 7:30pm.the waitress was young and fine.she had long dark hair with black jeans on and white shirt.if you are the girl tell me what i was wearing or what i order to eat.we chat a little.really would love to hook up with the girl.hope the girl see this.the girl shirt was low cut and showing some clevage

Why do I get the feeling that by “we chat a little” the guy means, “You asked me what I wanted to eat, brought me my food, asked if you could refill my Coke, and then brought me my check”? And that he thinks that means that they’re soulmates? Well, they were soulmates until a few weeks later, at least, when …

girl at mc d – m4w – 37


Date: 2009-06-22, 10:29PM EDT
girl walk in McD on the east side of Athens on June 22 at lunch time.the girl had on white tight jeans and green shirt.she walk right beside me.not sure her name.she was very pretty and sexy.she really look good in the tight jeans.would love to hook up with her.if the girl see this tell me what you order so i will know it was you or tell me where was i when you walk by me.

I’m kind of afraid of that last bit, because if the answer isn’t “You were sitting in a booth” then it must be something like, “You were squeezing your 350-pound belly through the opening at the top of the slide” or “holding your mouth open under the ketchup dispenser”.

girl at Sonic – m4w – 37


Date: 2009-06-23, 9:10PM EDT
i was at Sonic on Lexington Road on June 23 at lunch time.we made eye contact a few times.the girl had on black shorts and pink shirt.i watch her put on roller skates.the girl was fine and would love to get to know her more and hook up with her.the girl worked there.if you are the girl tell me your name or what was i driving.

Silly me. I always thought that “Missed Connections” posts involved both parties actually being aware of the existence of the other, not just one creepy guy staring at women in fast food restaurants and using it to make a compendium of his masturbatory fantasies.

75 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 July 9
    princessluceval permalink

    This is way creepy. He’s stalking people via craigslist, but he wants the other person to do the work!

    Adores: 9
    • 2009 July 9
      drmk permalink

      Creepy — or ultra-efficient?

      Adores: 26
      • 2009 July 9
        dogface permalink

        I think it’d have to actually work for it to be efficient. I’m going for creepy and ultra-lazy. :O

        Adores: 10
      • 2009 July 10
        jackie31337 permalink

        I vote for creepy too. Looks like Missed Connections posts are the new stalking.

        Adores: 6
  2. 2009 July 9

    In two out of three of these, the woman worked at the location where the alleged “missed connection” took place. Call me crazy, but if you really thought the person was into you and wanted to find her, couldn’t you, say, go back to where you already know she works to find her? And if you don’t think that would be appropriate, isn’t that a good clue that perhaps it wasn’t a missed “connection” after all?

    Adores: 30
    • 2009 July 9

      Oh lord, don’t give him ideas. Dudes like this come into the library all the time to harass us on a regular basis because they know we’re a captive audience while we’re on the desk. UGH.

      Adores: 18
      • 2009 July 9
        geeklove permalink

        Well, at least you’ve got a desk to hide behind. I’m a shelver at the local library, and since I’m out in the open, all sorts of creepy guys can approach me and talk at me all they want, but I’m stuck in the same place putting books away. This guy would fit right in…

        Adores: 7
        • 2009 July 10
          jackie31337 permalink

          You need to work on your glaring and Shhh!ing if the same ones keep coming back. Or maybe that’s WHY they keep coming back… you should advertise your glaring and Shhh!ing services on Craigslist and make some extra cash. 😉

          Adores: 6
        • 2009 November 11
          pseudoname permalink

          “this guy would fit right in”

          bowchikawowwow
          thats what she said

          missed connection

          you said you work at the library as a shelver, you glared and shushed at me and thought I’d fit right in
          tell me what I am wearing so I know it u

          Adores: 12
    • 2009 July 9
      Sarah permalink

      Reminds me of this post about women getting harassed by creepy customers: http://psychoticlettersfrommen.blogspot.com/2009/05/customer-disservice.html

      Adores: 0
  3. 2009 July 9
    Colleen in MA permalink

    i was at a blog on July 9 at lunch time.the blog had on a serif font and gray dangling quote marks.i watch it pull out a big new post.the blog was fine and would love to get to know it more and hook up with it.if you are the blog tell me your stats and what ip address i be at.

    Adores: 43
    • 2009 July 9

      OMG. This is the funniest thing I’ve read all day!

      Adores: 0
    • 2009 July 10
      Liz permalink

      i am the blog. i was wearin tight quote marks and a new interweb. im glad you found me. we made eye contac a few time over yo keyboard. i would also like to hook up with the guy. hope the guy see this. again. the guy was typing to me.

      Adores: 12
      • 2009 July 11
        Canaduck permalink

        Hahah, oo it’s gettin’ sexy in here!

        Anyway, this was a hilarious post and I wouldn’t mind continued updates on “37”.

        Adores: 2
    • 2009 July 14

      Will this be the new Yo Dawg? I can see it catching on.

      Adores: 2
    • 2009 August 3

      You are awesome!

      Adores: 1
  4. 2009 July 9

    Eegah. This is horrifying and hilarious… “horrlarious”, I like to call it. I think my favorite bits are the “you were wearing nondescript clothing and acknowledged me in a non-committal way; what was I doing?”

    I’m going to, *ahem*, shamelessly promote now. I run a blog about Missed Connections. If one was to click my name, one would be taken there. Alright. Carry on.

    Adores: 2
  5. 2009 July 9

    Seriously drmk. I’m back working in the office now and this one almost got me in trouble “You were squeezing your 350-pound belly through the opening at the top of the slide” or “holding your mouth open under the ketchup dispenser”. Let’s try not to get Martha fired and/or make liquids come out her nose.

    Adores: 3
    • 2009 July 9
      drmk permalink

      Awwww. You never let me have any fun.

      Adores: 4
    • 2009 July 10
      jackie31337 permalink

      I have (almost) perfected the art of laughing (almost) silently when reading funny stuff at work. So far, I’ve been able to stifle any serious LOLs while reading this blog, but I also nearly lost it at “You were squeezing your 350-pound belly through the opening at the top of the slide” or “holding your mouth open under the ketchup dispenser”.

      Adores: 1
  6. 2009 July 9
    Cyrus permalink

    It would you know help a bit if he described himself as well. That way everyone working in fast food will keep a look out. I’ve also seen several posts like this in my Washington DC CL, I’m always like “Wow she smiled at you and gave you refills?! Perhaps that’s her job to do so! She must be really getting around if we go by this criteria.”

    Sigh.

    Adores: 1
  7. 2009 July 9
    Doug permalink

    Let’s assume for a moment that one of these girls actually wanted to reply to an ad (for the sake of argument, we’ll say she suffered a blow to the head shortly before sitting down at her computer). He expects her to actually remember identifying traits about a random customer?

    At least he’s honest with his “would like to hook up with her” line in every post. Maybe he’s just on a mission to petition every female in the city for sex in the hopes that one day, SOMEONE will say yes.

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 July 9
      Katie permalink

      Oh believe me, when it’s a creepy guy, you remember identifying traits. I’m not lying when I say that there are guys I’ve encountered whose behaviour has led me to remember their descriptions so I can avoid them next time. If he’s not a creepy guy, he probably wouldn’t post stuff like this.

      Adores: 0
      • 2009 July 9

        Very true, they do! I met a guy once who, after talking to me for 2 minutes said, “Hey didn’t I see you at a party one time..I remember you dressed up as a genie for Halloween? That costume was hot!”

        Seriously, that was THREE years ago! How do they remember that stuff?

        Adores: 0
        • 2009 July 10
          jackie31337 permalink

          Maybe they’re eidetic? I think there have been many times I’ve come off as a stalker because I recall tiny details about people I hardly know years after the fact. Until I met my current partner (he’s eidetic too), I had no idea that this wasn’t the way everybody’s memory worked. No wonder people think I’m weird.

          My money is on “stalker” in most of these cases, though.

          Adores: 2
  8. 2009 July 9

    I think this guys is just a jokester. To me, it’s so ridiculous that it must just be someone doing this on purpose.

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 July 9
      dogface permalink

      That’s what I thought at first, but then I remembered that there really are people that creepy and stupid out there. So I’m about 50-50 on this one.

      Adores: 1
      • 2009 August 3
        Athens resident permalink

        Having been accosted by some of the creeptastic men in Athens, GA I confidently say that the chances of this guy being serious is more like 80%.

        One creepy old guy hit one me, told me I should dump my boyfriend/fiancee (can’t remember which lie I told him) and date him instead, and then asked me to *give him some money so that he can pay his rent*.

        Adores: 2
        • 2009 August 27
          Tommy permalink

          Well, tell us, did you “do” it? you know, pay his rent for him? 🙂

          Adores: 0
  9. 2009 July 9
    dogface permalink

    i was at fast food place.i saw fine girl working.wearing clothes.i want to hook up with girl but didn’t want to actually talk to girl in person.you were working.tell me what i was doing.*hint*those weren’t ketchup packets in my pocket and i was happy to see you.i hope the girl see this.

    Adores: 4
    • 2009 July 10
      Colleen in MA permalink

      that’s like so hot. i wish i was the girl.

      Adores: 1
  10. 2009 July 9
    Jess permalink

    I work in radio, and I come across people like this all. the. time. People who think that if we’re nice to them when they call the request line, or when they talk to us at a live broadcast, that we must now be dating. This is how real live in-person stalkers are born. Creeeeeeeepy.

    Adores: 1
  11. 2009 July 9
    Katy permalink

    I also find it really creep that he refers to the “mised connection” as “The Girl”. Normally these ads try and create some kind of connection, and refer to the other person as “You” e.g.- ‘I was drinking an Coke; you laughed at my t-shirt- let’s grab a coffee!’.But they was he just calls her “The Girl” just seems kind of serial killer.

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 July 9
      princessluceval permalink

      “It puts the lotion on the skin…”

      Adores: 3
      • 2009 July 10

        Put the lotion in the basket.

        Adores: 1
  12. 2009 July 9
    kelli permalink

    I think the “missed connections” are the ones between the synapses in his brain. In the first one, he at least specifies a time, but what time exactly is lunchtime? Sometimes I eat lunch at 11, sometimes noon, sometimes not until 3. I think refering to his intended victim as the girl is super creepy.

    Adores: 9
  13. 2009 July 9
    caroline permalink

    I saw similar series of Missed Connections on my local CL. Clearly written by the same guy, all taking place in the same area, and even on the same afternoon. It’s like he was keeping a running tally of all the hot people he saw while he was out and about so he could put up a bunch of Missed Connections later.

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 July 10
      julie permalink

      Same here – I thought this might be “my” CL guy because he’s also 37. Almost like it’s a bot, but it’s too area-specific. WTF?

      Adores: 0
  14. 2009 July 9
    Mrphysic permalink

    hmmmm – part of me thinks this may actually be some sort of undercover communication from a spy or similar……..’the girl’ actually refers to the next intended ‘hit’ and the location and clothing descriptions actually refer to military locations and personnel…….

    Nah – scratch that – clearly just another lonely freak.

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 July 10

      Now we have the plot for the next Jason Bourne sequel.

      Adores: 1
  15. 2009 July 9
    Linnee permalink

    I love how the girl has to prove she is, indeed, The Girl, no doubt to weed out all the wannabes who want to connect with this guy.

    Adores: 6
  16. 2009 July 9
    fancypants permalink

    I love how the last two restaurants are within a couple miles of my house. I was just at that McDonald’s yesterday.. OH CRAP, maybe he’s after ME!

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 July 9
      Mrphysic permalink

      We must keep a look out for ‘….the girl had fancy pants….’.

      And then you must keep a look out, a restraining order, a can of mace, a clove of garlic, a silver bullet – you get the picture.

      Adores: 4
  17. 2009 July 9

    He seems to be lowering his standards. Next it’s going to be Huddle House.

    Adores: 1
  18. 2009 July 10
    Liz permalink

    Seriously, this guy has posted about 20 from what we have read. I wish they were still on CL by the time I had thought to send them into YSaC, because there were some waaaay better ones than these (if you can imagine that). “37” is way creepy, and I really hope I’m never The Girl at McD, or Sonic, or the Grill, etc., etc.

    Hope the girl see this!

    🙂

    Adores: 3
    • 2009 July 10
      drmk permalink

      Well, if he posts more, you know what to do!

      Adores: 0
  19. 2009 July 10
    Katy permalink

    As a MfW 37 follower, I wish the “Piggy Wiggle” had made it! This gem consists of a pretty and sexy girl who was “talking toward the Piggy Wiggle” He “blow the horn” and thought about turning around to pick the girl up (as if she would get in????) but alas, he did not. Another favorite from one of the various fastfood restruants in our college town said, “tell me what I order so I know it was you.” What the HELL kind of stipluation is that!? I tried posting a response to him once, but he never replied….sad, sad day.

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 July 11
      Lisa permalink

      …I am going to have to refer to Piggly Wiggly as Piggy Wiggle from now on.

      Adores: 1
  20. 2009 July 10
    Lola permalink

    Reply to Jackie31337 (sorry, could not reply directly, nest limit apparently exceeded):
    “Maybe they’re eidetic? I think there have been many times I’ve come off as a stalker because I recall tiny details about people I hardly know years after the fact. Until I met my current partner (he’s eidetic too), I had no idea that this wasn’t the way everybody’s memory worked. No wonder people think I’m weird.”
    I have this ability too, and realized around the time I was in college that I needed to be either not so forthcoming with details or just frankly claim not to remember once in a while so as to not seem too weird. Or possibly stalkerlike. Or both. I’ll claim weird, but don’t have the time or energy to stalk.

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 August 30

      Yeah, me too. My dad was the same. I get used to people* saying “How do you remember that?” when the answer is “I just do, what’s your point?”

      *My husband, mostly.

      Adores: 1
  21. 2009 July 10
    Vanessa permalink

    I am confused by the switching between second and third person. Does he want the girl to reply or does he want his loyal CL readers to seek out these unfortunate (yet pretty and fine) ladies for him?

    At least he has an eye for fashion detail. He must miss Project Runway.

    Adores: 0
  22. 2009 July 11
    Lisa permalink

    I can see it now; next we’re going to be reading about him on Psychotic Letters From Men. Yikes.

    Adores: 0
  23. 2009 July 15
    D / DM permalink

    I think it’s really funny that he wants proof that the woman contacting him is the exact same pretty and fine girl that he saw wherever he ate lunch that day. Pretty demanding, I’d say… a man in his position ought to take any pretty and fine girl he can get.

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 August 1
      Mental Mouse permalink

      He surely will take any girl he can get — the vague descriptions are probably meant as “hooks”, for any vulnerable reader to interpret. “Um, I wore a green shirt this week… was it June 22?”. (That is, the same tactic used by stage “psychics”.)

      Adores: 2
  24. 2009 July 21
    K. Taylor permalink

    oh. my. golly.

    I live RIGHT by this guy, and have been to ALL of the places he’s mentioned in these ads. fucking creepy.

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 August 3
      D / DM permalink

      The girl name start with a K. I really hope the girl read this. If this was you email me tell me what was I doing with my hand under the table when you walk by.

      Adores: 11
  25. 2009 July 27
    Yutolia permalink

    Ugh, this sounds like somebody I know! This guy used to freak out when waitresses would talk to him because he didn’t know how to talk to girls…

    Adores: 1
  26. 2009 July 28
    bubble permalink

    HOW IS BABBY FORMED? HOW GIRL GET PREGNANT?!??!!

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 March 2
      come for the zombies, stay for no reason permalink

      IF U WANT BABBY PREGNINT YOU NEED BABBY INTERCOARSE. U GET ONLY ADULT PREGNINT IF U ADULT INTERCOARSE. IF U WANT GAY PREGNINT U NEED GAY INTERCOARSE. I AM GENIUS I KNOW. THANK U.

      Adores: 1
  27. 2009 August 2
    Meredith permalink

    I’ve followed this guy on the Athens cl, too! He reminds me of another familar character who was a parking lot attendant with the worst spelling and grammar ever. He found love almost every night!

    Adores: 0
  28. 2009 August 11
    Laura permalink

    The Athens CL has always been full of lulz. Lately, since I’ve been looking for furniture, I’ve noticed that many a Georgian thinks outdoor furniture is made of “rod iron”. Sad to say that a mistake like that could get old.

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 July 10
      GrammarBroad permalink

      Rod Iron must be related to Bob Wire!

      Adores: 1
  29. 2009 September 1
    Sidekickboy permalink

    This has been touched on a little, but I can’t get over the fact that he says the Girl has to tell him where he was when she walk by him, or what car he was driving, but how is she supposed to know who he is? He doesn’t describe himself at all, other than that he’s 37. There’s your problem, bro. The Girl needs to know that you were, in fact, the fellow with the mustache and windowless van who was breathing heavily and smacking his lips together, and not just some creeper.

    Adores: 5
  30. 2009 November 5
    Ben permalink

    This sounds like it could be a new Rob Zombie film where waitresses start disappearing… You know what? I bet this was Rob Zombie before he became a pop music icon (Not musician). Why am I talking about Rob Zombie so much??? Weird

    Adores: 1
  31. 2010 March 2
    12xU permalink

    all your miss connect belongs to craig

    Adores: 1
  32. 2010 March 2
    Gomez Addams, Jimmy Hoffa, Michael Jackson, or Elvis. whichever permalink

    “Perhaps you Took my Breath Away?

    I saw you in the drawer next to mine, at the morgue. I know i should’a said something, but i didn’t seem to have any breath.
    Wanna try again?

    -me, that pale kinda stiff guy in #666”

    Adores: 0
  33. 2010 September 5
    Katherine permalink

    Know what’s really tragic about the first one? All the wait staff at the Grill wear white shirts and black pants. I’m pretty sure it’s, um, their uniform.

    Adores: 1
  34. 2012 January 17
    Fl'amme Appat permalink

    For some odd reason this thread reminds me of this joke:

    “Why can’t men get mad cow disease? Because men are pigs.”

    Adores: 0

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