YSaC, Vol. 417: Glinder? I hardly know ‘er!
glinder – $75
hi, i have a green glinder for sale is in good shape and expensive
one, {from baby & our’s}
kt observes:
“I don’t think it’s a typo — it’s spelled “glinder” both times. “baby & our’s” might be Babies R Us, or it might not. I also like the creative grammar and punctuation. How often do you see curly brackets outside of a math book?”
Well, let’s assume the ad was written in Perl. That would make “from baby & our’s” an element of an associative array, after evaluating the “&” of course. The problem is, you’d get a strange result, because the single ampersand is bitwise comparison. Clearly, this person also sucks at Perl, because a DOUBLE ampersand is the Boolean “and”, not the single ampersand you see here. But leaving that aside, we’d have to know the contents of the array to…
Wait. What the hell is a “glinder?”
Thanks, kt!
Does anyone else see how said “glinder” has also managed to change colors? The add says green, which I guess is correct in the first picture, but it looks bluer in the second picture.
Ah, the supernatural powers of the Glinder.
Hardly surprising about those supernatural powers, since Glinder was the good witch in “The Wizard of Oz.”
And pink (at that time).
She would only be Glinder on Long Island and in North Jersey.
That was totally going to be my joke: “Glinder, the good witch of North Jersey”. Beat me to it.
Perhaps she’s the twin sister of Billy Joel’s Brinder. (“Brinder and Eddie were the popular steadies and the king and the queen of the prom.”)
Hey, there. We don’t have as much of an accent as you think in North Joisey— I Mean Jersey. (:
“Well, let’s assume the ad was written in Perl.”
Thank you for the nerdiest laugh I’ve had in a while.
I agree! After that, there is nought left to be said.
Oh perfect! I’ve been looking for a glinder. It’ll go lovely with all my French Prudential pieces… All I’ll have to do is reupholster it.
I believe that’s “re-apholster.” It’s important to get these things right.
Dang, you’re totally right. Can’t believe I made such a rookie mistake. *hangs head in shame*
Are you a good glinder or a bad glinder? And what exactly did you little munchkin do to turn it from green to blue? Oy.
Hey folks, glinders of this high quality, expense and ability to change color are very hard to find. You better snap this glinder up fast!
Is it somebody saying Glinda with a funny accent? :O
So I went down to my {from baby & our’s} which is right over by the mall you know, and I asked the people working there if they would show me the expensive glinders so I could see one up close before I went all-out and bought this one.
They started pretending they didn’t know what I was saying, telling me stuff like “Speak English idiot” and “Do you fill your skull with dirt to keep your tiny brain from rattling around”. Well, I know you can’t get good help these days, so I demanded the manager.
I knew she would help me straight out so I told her “I want to see the green glinders that turn blue when you walk to the left”. After her very strange response, something about drug abusers and the need for more laws, it was at this point that I realized they were all in on it. One of them planned to get the glinder in the ad, and didn’t want me to get there first, so they were just putting me off.
I raced over to the glinder people’s house, and the lady there said, “Mister we ain’t got no glinders that change colors, green, blue or purple! Now git off my property!” I realized that the people at the {from baby & our’s} over by the mall you know, had called them and told them to hold it for them.
I went home, dejected. Now I am going to have to move away, because I can’t go into my living room any more without seeing the EXACT SPOT where my glinder would have sat, if it hadn’t been for the people at the {from baby & our’s} over by the mall you know.
I think that this may be an homage to Ed Wood’s classic “Glen or Glinder”, in which the protagonist feels trapped in his dual identity: a Scottish valley or a transcoloured piece of furniture.
What is a glinder you ask?
It’s a cross between a glider and a blender! Now available in this temporarily comfortable and convincing recliner shape!
It slices! It dices! It takes Julien down a back alley and beats the tar out of him!
It even changes colour, though we’re not exactly sure why! Great for confusing the cat!
How much would you pay for this useful device?
Buy now and you’ll get, absolutely FREE OF CHARGE, the matching Ottoman!
He’s hiding behind the glinder waiting to dance and play the saz whilst the glinder is in action!
Great for taunting your “guests”! Also great for confusing the cat!
NOW how much would you pay?
But wait! There’s MORE!
You also get the matching foot holder/obstacle thingy, which performs the essential duty of delaying escape until the glinder can really get going! “Does that confuse the cat,” you ask? Just watch joyfully as your “guest” fumbles around the obstacle thingy, as your cat wonders what is wrong with them!
NOW how much would you pay?!?
$100?
$200?
No, you can get this for three easy installments of $400!!!
Call 1-800-GLI-NDER NOW!
That’s 1-800-454-6337!
1-800-454-6337!!!
Call now!
Or else!
i really do think they need to change that to ‘ottoperson’. ottoMAN is just so, sexist. maybe ottocritter is even more gender neutral.
I guess fuziness in pictures can give the illusion that the two pictures weren’t even taken in the same room.
I think it’s meant to be Glin, but I’m not sure. What do you guys think? Glin or Glinder?
I have a pink angora sweater to give the first person who figures it out.
Nerd crump;
while (readingPost())
{
if (assumeAdWrittenInPerl())
{
crump.amusement = crump.amusement + 5;
}
if (calculatingStrangeBitwiseComparison())
{
crump.amusement++;
crump.puzzlement = crump.puzzlement + 5;
}
}
crump.output(“Thank you, this post made my day!”);
//Edit: Aw, posting the comment messes up the formatting.
//Please pretend that the code has proper indentation for me.
There is actually a piece of furniture called a “glider”, and it is something you sit on.
This might be one. It looks like it might slide back and forth on its base. The ottoman seems to be built the same way.
What I want to know is, if it IS a glider, how the heck are you supposed to make it swing, if your feet are up on the ottoman?
Thanks Hannafate. My cat and I were very confused until we read your post.
I’m shocked, SHOCKED, that none of you recognize a rare grue glinder when you see one!
I know gamers who’d kill for one of those!
I’m sorry, I can’t focus on the glinder. I am too sidetracked by the little family of ironing boards hanging out in the background.
I’m picturing some poor little six-year-old in an apron ironing his own shirts, while mommy dearest watches over him carefully from behind the full-sized ironing board while she irons her husbands socks…
Are you talking about the keyboards?
I didn’t even notice the keyboards until you mentioned them. I’m still going to pretend they’re ironing boards, though; that little scenario you cooked up is too funny!