YSaC, Vol. 424: Just… George.

2009 September 14

Gold BRAsLET – $95


HEY peOPLE IM SEllING A GOLD
PERASLeT1! IT VERyy AMAZING
REALLY… IT ONLY 95 BUT IM SALEING REALL CHEAP BUT REALLY THISS COST LIKE MORE THAT THAT pEOPLE
WANT TO KNOW MORE JUST GEORGE####@YAHOO.COM

THANKS
424a424b

In the old days, to make a message like this, you had to spend hours laboriously cutting letters out of magazines and newspapers: “iF YOu eVER WanT TO sEE YOUr gOlD PERASLeT1! ALiVe AGaIN, BriNG 95 DOllaRS tO THe COrnEr Of sTATe aND MaIN aT tHrEE O’CloCK!!!” Now thanks to the magic of the internet, you can be just as incoherent in a fraction of the time.

Ain’t technology grand?

I also wish to point out that I wasn’t sure from the first picture if I wanted this PERASLet1!, but the second one really sold me.

Thanks to Angela for sending this along!

64 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 September 14
    Windrose permalink

    Just George? No John, Paul, or Ringo?

    And how do I know that’s really a gold PERSALeT1? How very amazing that would be. 8)

    Adores: 2
  2. 2009 September 14
    2Sly4You permalink

    ZOMG! I am a peOPLE in seARch of RaNDoMlY CapatalizeD (see, I can’t even do it righT! GEORGE is SoooO much MoRE SmarTed ThAn Me!) PERASLeT1! EspeCIaLlyyyY 1OnE on SALEING REALL CHEAP. I cAn Haz it? I mean, It CoSts MoRE THAT THAT peOPLe. WhO WoulDn’T WaNT it?

    (Seriously….that was the most annoying paragraph to type. How can one do that by accident? Cap Locks Seizures? I think there is a drug for that? Maybe 420? LOL)

    Adores: 21
    • 2009 September 14
      DooeyD permalink

      Caps Lock Seizures = awesome band name.

      Adores: 18
  3. 2009 September 14
    JcT permalink

    There should be a reset button for people. You press it and they automatically go back to 1st grade to start their education over.

    Adores: 87
    • 2009 September 14

      I would like to subscribe to your pamphlet, sir.

      Adores: 19
    • 2009 September 14
      Sarajean80 permalink

      Put me on that mailing list.

      Adores: 5
    • 2009 September 14
      2Sly4You permalink

      Agreed! Best idea today. ๐Ÿ˜›

      Adores: 1
    • 2009 September 14
      Lola permalink

      I have a list of names for this once you have it invented. Do you want it in order of stupidity magnitude, or alphabetical?

      Adores: 17
      • 2009 September 14
        JcT permalink

        Well actually, installing the button on MY list of people will probably take a decade, so we can discuss yours once mine are completed. ๐Ÿ˜‰

        Adores: 1
        • 2009 September 14
          Jinx permalink

          One shiny strawpenny if you add me to your club – but not your list, good sir!

          Adores: 3
    • 2009 September 14
      meg permalink

      I wish to join your club. This is a great idea.

      Adores: 2
    • 2009 September 16
      Terran Nytefyer permalink

      Reset button. Absolutely love this. I’m going to start using this on people. ๐Ÿ˜€

      BTW, Hi, everyone. First time commenter, though I’ve been following the site off and on since a friend of mine showed it to me a few months back. Have lots of catching up to do, heh.

      Adores: 1
  4. 2009 September 14
    queensbee permalink

    caps lock siezures. bwwwwwaaaaah. love it. uh, george, i suppose youre wondering why NOBODY is calling you in response to your ad….

    Adores: 1
  5. 2009 September 14
    dogface permalink

    Either this ad is a joke or it’s a clever ransom note in disguise. :O

    Adores: 5
    • 2009 September 14
      corn flakes permalink

      I think it is a performance art piece.

      Adores: 13
  6. 2009 September 14

    How, HOW does someone get “peraslet” from bracelet?

    Adores: 5
    • 2009 September 14

      The jacked-up part is that I can actually imagine someone pronouncing it like that.

      Adores: 5
    • 2009 September 14
      Traveler permalink

      Or, more precisely, how does someone get “PERASLeT1!” from “BRAsLET”?

      Adores: 3
      • 2009 September 24
        tigprincess permalink

        Are we discussing a BRAsLET (commonly known as a small bra for those size 24AAAA tits) which suddenly morphed into a ‘gold’ link chain to put around the wrists – as opposed to the breasts? or is this person simply thick as shit?

        Adores: 1
    • 2009 September 14
      Mrphysic permalink

      Yeah – sometimes, by looking at your keyboard you can give the excuse that the writer’s finger slipped (e.g. hitting an ‘o’ instead of a ‘p’). but ‘PE’ is soooo far from ‘B’ that one can only assume that this specimen actually MEANT to write “PERASLeT1”.

      Adores: 4
      • 2009 September 15
        My Evil Twin permalink

        My invisible friend is saying that they probably have/are multiple personalities trying to type two messages at once.

        Adores: 4
  7. 2009 September 14
    queensbee permalink

    moxie – ‘touch typing’. OR – sorta just guessing where the letters are on each key. yeah – that looks right….. nothing can stop teh stupids.

    Adores: 3
    • 2009 September 14
      corn flakes permalink

      The typing is so bad and so rushed i think he was trying to use someone else’s computer while they’re in the bathroom. Maybe the computer is owned by the same person the bracelet is stolen from.

      Adores: 15
      • 2009 September 14
        My Evil Twin permalink

        The question then becomes: While which person is in the bathroom?

        From which the following thought ensues: Ew.

        Adores: 2
  8. 2009 September 14
    Lady Carlotta permalink

    I really thought it was a 14 year old girl who wrote that ad, and then I got to the “George” and was quite thrown off balance.

    Adores: 3
    • 2009 September 14
      My Evil Twin permalink

      So you’re saying George isn’t a 14 year old girl?

      Adores: 3
      • 2009 September 14
        Lady Carlotta permalink

        Oh good point. I suppose if “Apple” is a girls’ name there’s no reason why “George” can’t be.

        Adores: 3
        • 2009 September 14
          antoinette jeanine permalink

          I would suggest George from Dead Like Me, but I’m not sure that I want to associate that show with this nonsensical babble.

          Adores: 3
  9. 2009 September 14
    corn flakes permalink

    I like that he says “BUT REALLY THISS COST LIKE MORE THAT THAT pEOPLE” but doesn’t mention any guess of how much it costs.
    That persalati/parasol/parfait/whatever is totally stolen and ol George is making this up as he goes.
    Also, it looks like the cheap jewelry sold by sketchy looking people at little stands in malls that will be haggled down to like 20 bucks.

    Adores: 9
    • 2009 September 14
      LurkRealClose permalink

      persalati/parasol/parfait

      Bwahahahahaha!!! Win ๐Ÿ™‚

      Adores: 1
    • 2009 September 15
      MsDolfinn permalink

      It just dawned on me. George isn’t an idiot…he is actually very clever. See he DID steal the bracelet, but knew that the owner would probably search Craigslist for “gold bracelet” thus by calling it a BRAsLET and PERASLeT1 he would never be caught. Genius!

      Adores: 18
  10. 2009 September 14
    Lola permalink

    “PERASLeT1!”
    Yes.
    Humanity. Is. F***ing. Doomed.

    Adores: 5
  11. 2009 September 14
    Cled permalink

    “Just George!”

    I hear it in a perky 1950s sitcom housewife’s voice. Maybe Mrs. Cleaver or Harriet Nelson. “Want to know more? Easy as pie – just George!”

    She is wearing a shirtwaist dress and a red and white gingham checked bib apron with ruffles at the shoulders. She is stirring something on the stove while smiling fondly at her husband in his chair in the living room, reading the newspaper and the children at the kitchen table, one of whom is doing homework while the other works on his model airplane.

    She can do this because she has a wandering eye.

    Adores: 16
  12. 2009 September 14
    jackie31337 permalink

    I copied out all the of the letters that were capitalized on the theory that it’s an encrypted message. Here they are:

    BRAL ETHE YOPL EIMS EING AGOL DPER ASLT ITVE RAMA ZING REAL LYIT ONLY BUTI MSAL EING REAL LCHE APBU TREA LLYT HISS COST LIKE MORE THAT THAT EOPL EWAN TTOK NOWM OREJ USTG EORG E

    If there were just one or two short sequences of letters that actually spelled out real words, I would call it a coincidence and start the cryptanalysis. There are too many to be a coincidence though, so I don’t think the capitalized letters are a message. That leaves the lower case ones:

    olds pell eyyp

    Which, unfortunately, is really too short to work with. Maybe binary, with lowercase representing 0 and upper case representing 1?

    1000111011111100111111110011111111111111011111100111111111111111111111
    1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111110111111111111111
    1111111111111

    Yeah, I got nothing.

    Adores: 52
    • 2009 September 14
      sarajean80 permalink

      Wow. And I thought I had too much time on my hands.
      Now I’m picturing a ring of less-than-superspys hunched over keyboards in their official-issue trench coats with a decoder ring someone found in a cereal box, muttering to themselves while they post on Craigslist.
      Or perhaps it is a group of aliens, hoping to “phone home” with offers of shiny baubles for the mothership.

      Adores: 24
      • 2009 September 14
        antoinette jeanine permalink

        Giving your comment a point caused a popup to suggest that I was cheating.

        I thought cheating was supposed to help me in some way…? Do I get a better grade for giving other people’s comments points? Is this some sort of communal point-giving scheme? I was not informed.

        Adores: 13
        • 2009 September 14
          drmk permalink

          I have no idea! How can you cheat at YSaC?

          Adores: 5
        • 2009 September 14
          Lola permalink

          That pop-up happened to me, too, the other day. We’re only supposed to give “+1” to one person at a time, apparently – but it does let you go ahead and give the second + after all. I didn’t try to do more, as I was … afraid of more vaguely-threatening pop-ups, I guess.

          Adores: 11
        • 2009 September 14
          drmk permalink

          I’m stumped. I just gave about six in a row and didn’t get any messages. How odd.

          Adores: 8
        • 2009 September 14
          Cled permalink

          I get a message if I forget that I gave a point to someone and try to give them another point.

          I hear it in my sixth-grade teacher’s voice. =(

          Adores: 6
        • 2009 September 15
          corn flakes permalink

          hmm….It doesnt do that for me. It might be a browser thing (i use safari).
          It’s smart to have a limit though.
          I would give all my posts 20 points, so it looks like people like me and help boost my self-esteem
          *sigh*

          Adores: 8
        • 2009 September 15
          drmk permalink

          I can only vote on each post once from my machine, and then it disappears. Perhaps it’s a cookies thing.

          Adores: 5
        • 2009 September 15
          LurkRealClose permalink

          Me too, but I have only ever seen the cheating pop-up on this post, and I have wantonly plused on others, as well.

          Adores: 1
        • 2009 September 17
          Rhiannon permalink

          It’s not the browser… I just got that popup and I’m on Safari. I did accidentally double click the +, so maybe that’s what causes the popup,

          Adores: 0
    • 2009 September 14
      mudslicker permalink

      Ooh…something Dan Brown-esque like the Bible Code! Perhaps it makes sense in Sumerian.

      Adores: 6
    • 2009 September 14
      Katy permalink

      But if you take the fourth capital letter after each lowercase you get “What a dumb a$$”.

      Don’t check me on that.

      Adores: 8
  13. 2009 September 14
    Harrison permalink

    Ok, George Michael really needs to lay off the drugs.

    Adores: 5
  14. 2009 September 14
    marn permalink

    hmmm…I just figgered that “PERASLeT1” was some ritzy brand name I’d never heard of…especially since it was identified as a “BRAsLET” in the title.

    Adores: 2
  15. 2009 September 14
    Elizabeth permalink

    I understand people accidently hitting one wrong key, or accidently not holding the shift key down (so that there is “1” instead of “!”)…but how can you type “PERASLeT1!” instead of “BRACELET!!”? The person already called it a “BRAsLET” in the title, which was at least closer to “bracelet”.

    Adores: 1
  16. 2009 September 14
    Colleen in MA permalink

    OK, so which one of us is going to contact George? Someone has to find out what his story is. Is there any way to politely ask a person what level of education s/he achieved? Any way to work that into a conversation about PERASLet1s?

    Adores: 4
  17. 2009 September 14
    queensbee permalink

    perastalsis maybe? does this have to do with digestion?
    I’ll take spel chek for 200, Alex.

    Adores: 5
  18. 2009 September 14
    Raoul permalink

    Oh, god, queen, now you’ve got me thinking George swallowed and passed this thing, and she wants to sell it REALL CHEAP to be done with painful memories. Really, I don’t want to think about how each little link felt coming out.

    As for the name, if George Sand can do it, why not George Peristalsis? A nice Greek girl who eats BRAsLETs. She’s VERyy AMAZING at PART1yyS.

    Adores: 10
  19. 2009 September 14

    Just. Put down. The glue.

    Adores: 6
  20. 2009 September 14
    DooeyD permalink

    I would love to buy George’s peraslet1. I’ve been looking for something to wear around my wrist for some time now, but all I’ve got are these damn gold bracelets, and they are not very amazing.

    Adores: 5
  21. 2009 September 14
    Mrphysic permalink

    I LIKE tHE FAct THaT THE SEcoND PHOTo IS PRETTYY MUCH THe SAME As THE FIRTS pHOTO PeoPLE – BUT on ITs SIDE….GENIISS

    Adores: 4
  22. 2009 September 14
    Pug permalink

    Pfft… I have a friend, Bob Sacamano, who can get you a PERASLeT1 for half that price!

    Adores: 5
  23. 2009 September 14
    Katy permalink

    I tried to type a witty paragraph with random capitalization, but my brain decided to mutiny. It’s bad enough I tried to make him read it, then try to figure out why this idiot is trying to sell something I can buy at Walmart for $7.50 for $95 bucks- the whole point of fencing stuff is to sell it for LESS than I can find in retail stores! Then, trying to imitate this idiot’s typing style my brain said, “F**k you, I’m sick of the idiocy. I need a f**king drink!”, jumped out of my ear, and proceeded to get wasted. It only returned under promise that I would never attempt to do random capitalizations again.

    Adores: 18
    • 2009 September 14
      Mrphysic permalink

      It’s great that your name is Katy but your brain is a ‘him’. I want to be a fly on the wall the next time you speak to your therapist.

      Adores: 5
      • 2009 September 15
        rose permalink

        Hmmm… now that I think about it I should do the same. I’d like my brain to have a sexy australian man’s accent… lol

        Adores: 6
        • 2009 September 15
          Mrphysic permalink

          I’m from New Zealand………..darn – close but no cigar eh?

          Adores: 2
  24. 2009 September 14
    ginger permalink

    Maybe Perasleti = Elsa Peretti? It has the “elsa” in it, reversed, and parts of “peretti”.

    Adores: 1
  25. 2009 September 15
    Kate permalink

    George huh? Made me think of the “Chronicles of George” website – http://chroniclesofgeorge.nanc.com/ – hilarious awful helpdesk tickets from someone named George who wrote just like this. Actually this George is worse but the effect is similar…

    Adores: 1
  26. 2009 September 15
    hoodwinked permalink

    I could type better than that with my penis.
    Blindfolded.

    Adores: 5
    • 2015 March 21
      Tankerbell permalink

      Now, THATโ€™s a newsletter I would subscribe to!

      Adores: 0

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.