YSaC, Vol. 455: Lol nd psnl asst fr txt w/snx
Personal Assistant needed
Looking for a assistant to help in texting duties –
alerting of new texts
I get 40 – 50 texts an hour, I cant handle my workload plus texting responsibilities. My phone gets too full and needs deleted every couple hours. This is a full time position and you must be where ever I am at, because my phone is always with me. Serious inquiries only.
* Location: XXXXXXXXX
* Compensation: Full Time – 15.00 hr plus snacks
Why does this remind me somehow of the “Dilbert” cartoon where the boss expects his secretary to print out his emails and read them to him?
I’m trying to think of the circumstances under which someone might get that many texts per hour:
1. You’re following a billion people on Twitter, and you’ve got all the messages coming straight to your phone.
2. You’re the lone customer support person for an evil monolithic corporation, like Microsoft or Dippin’ Dots.
3. You’re a thirteen year old girl.
OK, 3 is probably less likely, since the person seems to have an actual job and can afford to offer $15 an hour PLUS snacks. Snacks! Honestly, if this job involves all the dippin’ dots I can eat, I may have to consider it.
Probably the best solution here is for our poster to pull a Miley Cyrus* and swear off texting entirely.
*IMPORTANT NOTE: Do NOT, under ANY circumstances, follow this link. You have been warned.