YSaC, Vol. 484: Hypno-dog.
Wouldn’t you love to have some nice memorable photographs of your pets to keep or send to others? Here’s the deal. If you have any photos of your pet, I can make them into some amazing artwork. There are way to many background and scenery to list. You can even suggest your own and I can probably make it. What I need is a very CLEAR , good quality and if possible high resolution photo of the pet you would like to see. I will make your portrait and return to you. All I ask is a “reasonable” fee for my time. Please respond to this e-mail for any addtional information that you may have. Or send phone # and I will contact you. I can, only if needed, come to you and take the pictures myself. These are not Amateur photos that I produce. Below is an Example of my work. Remember, I can make almost any kind of scenery or background that you like.
So, this isn’t really pet photography so much as it is pet Photoshop. Bad pet Photoshop. With a disembodied head. Does he charge extra for the disembodied head? Is he insinuating that he is someone’s baby, just like the Satanic Pomeranians he’s slapped randomly onto a different layer? Why is there a disembodied head in this artwork, Lamar? And why is he looking at me?
I have a number in mind for the “reasonable” fee I’d be willing to pay Lamar for his time. That number is between zero and, well, zero. Actually, is it possible to charge Lamar for wasting my time? Or for the shock therapy I’m going to need to get the image of him peering at me out of my head?
Lamar wants me to respond with any additional information I may have. Okay, Lamar, here’s some information: haphazardly combining pictures of Satanic Pomeranians and butterflies with stock backgrounds using what I’m sure is an illegal copy of Photoshop is not art.
Oh, and there’s a filter to remove that glare from the Satanic Pomeranian’s eyes.
Thanks, Leslie, for the submission!