YSaC, Vol. 506: Contacts… are the reason… why everything happens!
2009 December 5
we exchanged eye contacts… – m4w
we did exchane eye contacts and wish we said hi…if u see this, i like to meet ya for coffeee.
You know, when you think about it, the phrase “eye contact” doesn’t really make sense. In fact, it sounds rather painful. Eye contact? Really? Ouch!
This post, however, sounds like these two actually exchanged contact lenses, which feels to me like sharing a toothbrush. It’s a bit too personal, even between S.O.’s – let alone between random strangers who would like to be met for coffee. Ick.
Incidentally, this may be a brand new use for the “Ow! My eyes!” tag.
Thanks for the post, Blink_4_me!
That could be an interesting looking couple if the eye contacts they exchanged were colored.
…and the couple is going to do some interesting looking if the eye contacts they exchanged were prescription.
The only safe eye exchange is when it’s eyes only, kids – exchanging prescription lenses is dangerous. You could go blind! Might as well stay home and keep yourself company. You’ll go blind in that case too, but at least you’ll enjoy it more.
On another note: wtf. This is the most general ad ever, save for the fact that it doesn’t cover the blind:
“I am a random person of no description save for gender. You are a random person of no description of the opposite gender. At some unspecified time, date, and location, our eyes met for an unspecified duration. We could have spoken, but didn’t. If you have any recollection of this fleeting and apparently totally indescribable event, I want to meet you.”
You do? You want to meet ME?!! I’m sure it was me, wasn’t it???? It just had to be! I mean, it sounded just like me!
Meredith, that is such a coincidence! It’s sounds just like me, too!
It was me! I just know it was me. I always silently exchange eye contacts with strangers, sure it’s killing my vision but I meet such interesting people.
Hey, did the woman have two eyes? Because I think it might have been me!
You know what’ll make you feel old? Realizing that many of the posters here are too young to have ever watched 3-2-1 Contact.
I’ll now be singing that theme song all day. Thanks a lot, Dan. 😉
I feel old and forgetful because I didn’t make that connection until you mentioned it. Not only do I feel old for knowing it, forgetting I knew it makes me feel senile. I’m not even 40 yet. I suspect it’s all downhill now … next week I won’t even remember this site.
Unfortunately JJ there are some of us that are to old to have watched 3-2-1 Contact. Don’t pity me though, I was a regular Watch Mr. Wizard lad………
My thoughts exactly, B.
For what it’s worth, I heard the theme song on my second reading of the post’s title, before I clicked over to the comments. Now I will be thinking about the Bloodhound Gang all morning.
Mr. Bloodhound isn’t here!
You aren’t he only one waxing sentimental over the Bloodhound Gang, Isaac. “Whenever there’s trouble…we’re here on the double…”
the 3-2-1-contact! reference was the first thing I noticed. I had the biggest crush on Paco when I was 7, but looking back on it, I have NO IDEA WHY. It must have been “Paco’s Travel Bureau” that was an actual chest of drawers. 7-year-old-mind liked furniture-related puns?
Hi!
Women terrify me. I was the creepy guy in the corner giving you furtive looks all night. You looked in my direction twice: once while you were looking at something else entirely and the second time when you noticed my fixed stare at you. I’ve since spoken with friends (well,not real friends; I posted about it on Twitter, though) and they think your second look was a “WTF??!?” I know differently. I know that in that split second you read my soul and saw the love I have for you inscribed on my heart.
Since then, I’ve Twitted about you, changed my Facebook status 15 times, every time relating to you and I’m planning on getting a tattoo dedicated to you. Sadly, I don’t remember what the rest of you looks like, but those eyes! I know you’ve been obsessing over me, too, so please respond to this. I really need your input on what hors d’oeuvres to serve at our wedding and I need your size so I can get your dress ordered.
Hurry! Fly to me, my love!
PS Did you like my “like to meet ya for coffee” line? Did you? I made it up myself! No, really! Okay, maybe I did read it in the “Modern Metrosexuals Guide to Picking Up Women You’re Too Afraid To Actually Talk To”, but it was my own take on it. Notice how I used “ya” instead of “you”? I think the way I worded it says, “I’m a cool, hip guy”. “Ya”…..I’m so cool!
Exchanging eye contacts is all fun and games, until someone loses an eye contact. Then the REAL fun begins!
Hey, whatever makes him end up on his knees is fine by me.
we did exchane eye glasses and wish we said no thanks… so i fell in 2 a manhole… later i drove right in 2 a treee…. if u see this, oh wait guess u cant seee this.. never mind
My first thought: conjunctivitis.
MY first thought was Ocular Herpes.
Aye yi yi!
Hey, is anyone else getting a “400 Bad Request” error when they try to post comments?
(My comments go through all right, but I can’t edit them after the fact, because my browser won’t come back to YSaC. I just get a page that says, “400 Bad Request” and “nginx.”)
Sorry, Issac. The internet gods must have it out for just you today. 8/
isaac – I have not had any trouble posting or editing my comments. I’m using FireFox 3.5.5……..
I just added this using the edit function…….
You know you’re going to have an off day when you look at this post and can only think of two people in some seedy unisex bathroom at some weird club where, without a word, they take out their contacts, hand them to each other, and walk away without a syllable exchanged.
It seriously did take me reading the comments to realize that I could take the ‘s’ off contacts and it made much more sense!
M-o-m-m-y needs c-o-f-f-e-e
I hear exchanging contacts is the hip new thing with the kids these days. Give it another month and there will be a Dateline special on contact-exchange-parties. “Do you know what your teens are doing at 3am?”
Dateline always uncovers the REAL trends with the teens-these-days, like the exchanging-rubber-bracelets-for-sex parties (probably about as real as contacts-exchanging-parties).
I don’t need contacts but guys are ALWAYS trying to pick me up with the old “let’s exchange eye contacts” line. It’s like, puhhhleeeaase! That is SOOOO 5 minutes ago! Everyone just exchanges eyes these days…….
Dateline calls it contexting.
“M-o-m-m-y needs c-o-f-f-e-e”
Um, I think you may want to respond to the post. He’ll meet ya for some…
Nice Ralph Covert reference.
This is a very good way to share the misery when you’re suffering from bacterial conjunctivitis.
“we did exchane eye contacts and wish we said hi…if u see this, i like to meet ya for coffeee.”
Let me see if I can read between the lines here…
The stage is set with a man in the back of a police car heading in to be booked. He sees a woman on the street while the police car is stopped at a red light. Connection.
we did exchane (I am chained) eye contacts (during the course of the red light) and wish we said hi (but the window in the back of the squad car was rolled up)…if you see this, i like to meet you (between 4 and 6 p.m. on Thursdays at Adams County Correctional Facility) for coffeee. (Imagine a quieting voice as the car drives away.)
Oh, what could have been.
There is an error in this post. The correct wording should be:
A. We exchanged cards from our optometrists.
B. We exchanged glass eyes.
C. We exchanged Isosceles triangles.
D. We exchanged Igors.
Just please don’t exchange our Igor.
I want our Igor back.
As a rule, when you add a third “e” to coffee, you should switch to decaf.
When I’m ready to switch to decaf, I look surprisingly similar to your cat.
In Soviet Russia, my cat looks surprisingly similar to you.
ONE THOUSAND POINTS
Well played, sir or ma’am. Well played.
Real-life LOL. Well done.
Tis the season of Win.
Hey! It’s u! We DID exchane eye contacts! I luv ur prescriptoin it,s so much better then mine! can u set me up with ur eye docotor? ps. is he hott? dose he like coffeee?
Am I the only one that thinks it’s a bit ironic that the person Dan thanks as being the one sending him the post is “Blink-4-me?”
Before there were spambots, there were MadLibs, and this guy dug one up:
Strangers in the _____,
Exchange eye contacts,
This one is too _____,
You see I’m hunchbacked,
Infected ____ bite,
I need your _____ tonight!
Random sorta-related true story:
Last week I lost my contact lens – IN MY EYE. I’d put them in the wrong eyes, and when the stronger-prescription contact went into the wrong eye and it didn’t make me see well, I started trying to find where I’d dropped it. After 5 minutes of frantic searching all over, I finally gave up and took out the other one, which I could tell was in. Just to be sure, I checked the eye that I thought had no contact in it, and lo and behold, out it came.
What is it about the internet that makes us want to share embarrassing stories about ourselves? Or is that just me?
Not just you. One time, in band camp…
Hey, we made the “You don’t suck” comment! That totally made my day. Thanks Monica and drmk!
Naw, AR, it’s just one of those things. Here’s a cute story, not really embarassing, that happened just a minute ago. My husband put his glasses on the dresser on top of mine. He doesn’t usually do that. He said, “In the morning, there will be a lot of little contact lenses under here. And soon, you will have granny glasses. ” Awww. No wonder I love him.
i lost a contact lens the other month – i dropped it while putting it in, and i’m so nearly blind that they’re really hard to find, though they usually land in the sink…
i spent half an hour on hands and knees trying to find that contact on the bathroom floor – even using a blacklight (contacts glow, btw) – to no avail. finally i gave up… and an hour later found the contact – ON THE CAT.
yep. the cat was walking around with a contact lens on his back. apparently he walked between my legs at just the very moment i was dropping my contact.
needless to say, i did not re-use that lens.
nor did i share that eye contact with anyone.
well, besides the cat, that is.
—–
dear cat:
i shared an eye contact with you the other morning, but i’m not sure if you noticed. we were both in the bathroom. that eye contact meant so much to me. ♥
Speaking of the internet, and of potentially embarrassing, do I read this right? Is our own Monica Hamburg appearing in a pin-up calendar?
Ew, that’s a good way to get eye infections…
It’s always fun until somebody loses an eye contacts.
this really sounds like the “hope the girl sees” guy