YSaC, Vol. 509: Jingle all the Wii …

2009 December 8

100$ for purchasing HDTV


I am willing to gve somebody 100$ to buy me a HDTV from bestbuy or something, U wud have to pay for the TV with the 100 dollars and keep the change. I am assuming with black friday coming up, there should be some sort of deal …but thats for you to look into since i am supplying the 100$

Meg submits this ad, saying, “I was going to pursue this awesome deal myself, considering the generous poster is ‘willing’ to offer it. I was going to get up at some ungodly hour, wait outside a Best Buy (“or something” — I’d have to look into where to go, which seems only fair as he or she is supplying the money for their… own television) on the street with bunches of die-hard shoppers, attempt to find an HDTV for under $100 and then, instead of rewarding my early-morning sacrifice with a new television, haul it to some moron’s house. I mean, I “wud” get to keep the change.”

I think this might be a new Christmas classic:

Dashing through the stores,
Jumping over Wiis,
O’er the iPods we go,
In search of an HDTV!

Bells on registers ring
I’ve got my $100 too,
Oh what fun it is to buy
an HDTV for you!

(Just for the record, the cheapest HDTV on BestBuy’s website (admittedly post-Black Friday, since I’m running behind) is $159, and that’s for a tiny refurbished model.)

89 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 December 8
    Windrose permalink

    Please, Mr. Scrooge, it’s cold! Can’t we have a little coal along with the 100$ for your HDTV?

    Adores: 12
    • 2009 December 8
      Igor The Vigorous permalink

      -Intends to give Windrose a stocking full of coal, ’cause she asked.-

      Adores: 1
      • 2009 December 8
        LurkRealClose permalink

        IGOR is back! Yay!!

        Adores: 0
      • 2009 December 9
        Windrose permalink

        Please, Mr. Igor! Let it be clean coal!

        Adores: 2
  2. 2009 December 8
    tigprincess permalink

    Could this be an opportunity for me to “steal to order”. Poster gets HDTV (bargain as no container – he, he) and I get $100 and anything else I want to keep?
    So easy to suss out gaffs now as people display contents of their living rooms whilst showing off a tree with lights!
    *perhaps this my dark side emerging?*

    Adores: 3
  3. 2009 December 8
    Nicole permalink

    “U wud have to pay for the TV with the 100 dollars and keep the change”
    Aw man, you mean I can’t pay for it with my own $100 and keep your $100 for myself? There’s such a difference in amounts!

    Also, you are paying me the supposed “change” that I would get back from this 100 to stand outside for hours in the probable freezing cold/rain/sleet/hail/snow to buy you a television? And I get to spend my OWN gas money to get to the store and haul the tv back to your place!? OH BOY, THIS IS SUCH AN AWESOME IDEA! I WILL GO GET YOU THREE HDTVs now!

    Adores: 7
  4. 2009 December 8
    CanonicalKoi permalink

    Next ad from this guy:

    M4W– Can U change TV channels?
    I have a new HDTV, but need a special someone to change the channels for me. Big plus if U’re a nurturing type who can feed me, dress me and run any and all errands. Celibacy a plus–sex too exhausting.

    Adores: 42
    • 2009 December 8
      Colleen in MA permalink

      …and he probably got a friend to post the original ad for him.

      Adores: 13
      • 2009 December 8
        CanonicalKoi permalink

        And is also looking for someone to give him a bath with a loofah….

        Gah! I wish we could pinpoint the moment when someone turns from Homo sapiens into an inert gas. I mean before death, of course.

        Maybe….if I advertise on Craigslist for a grant…

        Adores: 25
        • 2009 December 8
          sarajean80 permalink

          I think the preferred method is a wet rag on a stick. Gets into the nooks and crannies easier.

          If you get your grant, you can figure out a method to turn the inert gas into a renewable fuel. You could single-handedly solve the energy crisis!

          Adores: 4
        • 2009 December 8
          emesis permalink

          You wouldn’t NEED to turn it into renewable fuel. Once your research determines the exact moment of transformation, you can get a new grant to dispose of all these gas-hats, thereby eliminating their consumption of our existing fuel. This seems like a much more realistic goal to me.

          Adores: 1
      • 2009 December 8
        Lola permalink

        I’m betting that if he doesn’t go with celibacy, it’s because he’d be the type to expect “oral favors” without any return. Of any kind.

        Adores: 1
    • 2009 December 8
      JAMen permalink

      M4W – you bought for me
      You bought a HDTV with 100 I gave you. our eyes met. you lingered. You know who you are. Call me and tell me what you were wearing and the kind of tv it was, and we’ll start our romance.

      Adores: 23
      • 2009 December 8
        MsDolfinn permalink

        Reply to M4W – you bought for me
        I can’t call you because my cell phone was stepped on during the Black Friday mayhem. I was wearing an off-white sweater with a few large footprints on my back. My hair was a little disheveled and I am missing a large chuck on the left side, but it was all worth it to get your HDTV at the low low price of $98.76. That $1.24 has really gone a long way to help me this season. Don’t worry, I will come to you when I get out of the hospital. Since I delivered the TV to you, I remember where you live. See you soon my love!

        Adores: 21
    • 2011 December 18
      Windrose permalink

      Cannon, why didn’t you keep posting and become a regular? Come back to us! Come on back!

      Adores: 1
  5. 2009 December 8
    mudslicker permalink

    Forget the TV scammer. I love, love love the new Christmas jingle! I’d give it a 10. Tiny Tim can really tap dance to it.

    The only thing that could make it more better is if Bob Dylan gave it a spin on his next Xmas album. Either Bob or those Jingle Bell cats.

    Yeah, definitely Rainman! How much longer til Wapner?

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 December 8
      tacomagic permalink

      If it’s possible, I think DRMK should give herself the YDSaC of the day for the jingle. If it’s not possible, it should be.

      Adores: 2
      • 2009 December 8

        Nah. I get to make inane posts every single day. YDSaC is to reward other people for their inane posts.

        Adores: 0
        • 2009 December 8
          ToBScholarly permalink

          Here I am, displaying my newbie ignorance: What is YDSaC? Is this something people aspire to?

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 December 8
          Igor The Vigorous permalink

          Drmk, don’t lie. You know it’s a reward specifically for Igor. Y’see, there are no other people but ME, ME, and MEEEEE. At least, that’s the impression I got of this CL poster’s worldview…

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 December 8
          Igor The Vigorous permalink

          ToB, it’s up at the top-right-ish area. It’s “You don’t suck at commenting” and then a quote from a commenter here. It’s usually an award given for the extreme funnies.

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 December 9

          TBS — you’ve actually been featured there at least once I can think of!

          Adores: 0
  6. 2009 December 8
    Ed Snyder permalink

    If I had access to his info, I might just take the $100 and call it a day.

    Adores: 9
    • 2009 December 8
      lost_compass permalink

      m4m did u get lost

      I gave u 5 twenties and a left over turkey leg on thanksgiving, u wore a old sailors hat & kept muttering somethin like “in soviet russia, Best buys you”
      u did not come back with my HDTV
      maybe u forgot where i live
      if this is u meet me at Fatz at lunch on Fri. i will be the guy looking like a dumb ass

      Adores: 63
    • 2009 December 8
      meredith permalink

      My first thought was, “Sure, complete stranger, I’ll buy you a tv. Just hand over the 100$. Better yet, if you hand over your credit card, I won’t even have any change left over, so you don’t have to pay me. I love helping out my fellow man at christmas time. Oh, my phone number? Yeah, sure…it’s (410) 555-I-H-A-S-Y-O-U-R-M-O-N-E-Y. Yeah, it’s one of those new, long numbers. See you soon!”

      Adores: 8
  7. 2009 December 8
    Lola permalink

    Ah yes – Black Friday, when all of the winter asschapeaux come out of storage.

    Adores: 12
    • 2009 December 8
      Heather permalink

      I am *so* using “asschapeaux” as soon as opportunity allows.

      Adores: 4
    • 2009 December 8

      It’s fessechapeaux, s’il vous plait

      Adores: 3
      • 2009 December 8
        Heather permalink

        I took Spanish in high school…what can I say.

        Adores: 0
      • 2009 December 8
        Lola permalink

        I underwent five years of French and am fully aware of the word’s portmanteau franglais nature. Asschapeau/x is usage intended for humor only. Accuracy not necessary.

        Adores: 3
        • 2009 December 8

          This raises the question, of course: can asschapeaux wear assless chaps?

          Adores: 1
        • 2009 December 8

          Love that word “pormanteau”

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 December 8

          Oops, portmanteau. My french spelling is atrocious.

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 December 8
          Lola permalink

          Hey, at least you didn’t spell it “pornmanteau.” I don’t know what that might be, but I’m sure that Rule 34 applies.

          Adores: 4
        • 2009 December 8
          develish1 permalink

          cloak porn? actually that probably does exist, but I’m not going to google it to check.

          Adores: 1
        • 2009 December 8
          Lola permalink

          dev,
          if it doesn’t …
          the fact that you have uttered/typed those words means that some wizard/fantasy subgroup will now begin creating it. It will likely involve, in its photography (dimly lit, featuring dark fabrics, obscure symbols, and flatteringly-airbrushed wafts of incense) along with the cloaks: crones with pointy hats, and older-ish gents with crystal balls and big sticks.

          Adores: 5
        • 2009 December 8
          develish1 permalink

          don’t forget the spider webs. You can’t have all those cloaks, pointy hats and crystal balls without at least one or two spider webs.

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 December 8
          Igor The Vigorous permalink

          You guys have truly, truly, never surfed a porn site on Saturday night when the normal guys are out with their friends, and people like my friends come out…

          Adores: 4
  8. 2009 December 8
    Bianchi Sound permalink

    Hey man,

    I hope you are still looking for a HDTV, cuz I got one for you- several actually. Take your pick. Tell me the size and model you are looking for and I probably have it or can get it quick ;) I am always finding “steals” on electronics, so let me know if you want anything else cheap- I can make you a really good deal on a car stereo, iPod, laptop, or cell phone, although those are “out of box” if you know what I mean.

    Also cigarettes. And cds. And bikes.

    Oh, and purses.

    Adores: 11
    • 2009 December 8
      Lola permalink

      I want an 8-track player and some of those really big “can” headphones from the ’70s. How about hooking me up with this? Hit me back.

      Adores: 0
      • 2009 December 8
        Dan permalink

        At my current place of employment, you know what I have in the back of a cabinet?

        Not an eight track player, oh no…

        An eight track RECORDER. I kid you not.

        Now if only I had some blank eight tracks….

        Adores: 4
        • 2009 December 8
          Lola permalink

          My father put their old 8-track player in a garage sale once. This kid who had clearly been born after the widespread use of the compact disc kept coming back and studying it intently. My father finally was intrigued enough to go up to the kid and say something like, “You like that, huh?” and the kid’s reply was, “Yeah! … What is it?” We all got a heh out of that.

          But … blanks! A recorder! I never personally knew anyone who had one of those!

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 December 8
          meredith permalink

          My first performance attempt is still recorded on an 8-track for posterity. I’m 1 1/2, and I’m singing “Rubber Duckey”. Yeah, I was brilliant.

          “Rubber Duckey…doo dah DOOO. Rubber Duckey, doo dah DOOO.”—Reenactment

          Adores: 8
        • 2009 December 8
          Lola permalink

          I’m totally amused by the way you just fake over the “you’re the one” part of the lyrics and just stick to the title phrase. That’s what’s important, isn’t it? :)

          Adores: 1
      • 2009 December 9
        marn permalink

        I can totally hook you up, Lola…my folks still have their circa-1975 Zenith stereo system, with AM/FM tuner, turntable (which can hold a stack of 45s or LPs), and a WORKING 8-track player! we could prolly negotiate for the tapes…Beatles, BeeGees, Fleetwood Mac, etc. truly, I don’t know why they keep it, as they replaced it in the 90s with a nice Sony rack system that they don’t use, either.

        Adores: 0
    • 2009 December 8
      mudslicker permalink

      What? No RollX watches Bianchi?

      Adores: 0
      • 2009 December 8
        Bianchi Sound permalink

        8-track player $40

        Headphones $25

        Rollx $75

        Meet me in the alley behind the Stagger Inn at 11:45 Friday night. I’ll be in the windowless rust colored 78′ Chevy van.

        Come alone. No funny business.

        Also I have some handguns cheap too. Let me know if you’re interested…

        oh, and silverware!

        Adores: 4
        • 2009 December 8
          develish1 permalink

          ooh, I could do with…….ALL HAIL HYPNO-CAT!!

          Adores: 3
        • 2009 December 8
          Lola permalink

          For sixty-five bucks each, these better work. Or my henchpeople will appear out of the inky blackness and test their homemade tasers on you. Even if you are a cool cat.

          PS: Got any 8-tracks? My “Best of Bread” and John Denver ones are kind of on the fritz.

          Adores: 1
      • 2009 December 8
        Bianchi Sound permalink

        I used to own a 74 Super Beetle that had an 8 track player. It was pretty fun to go to thrift stores and buy tapes, usually for 25ยข or less. They generally only lasted for 2-3 plays, if they worked at all.

        Nothing says “I’m cool” like listening to “Kiss Alive II” on 8 track in your old VW.

        Good times…

        I can almost guarantee I had a John Denver tape at one point. I do recall a Sonny and Cher and a Partridge Family. Not so sure about Bread though.

        I think the demise of 8 tracks was caused by the fact that they can only be listened to ironically.

        Adores: 4
        • 2009 December 8
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          Oh. I almost forgot! I had meredith singing “Rubber Ducky.”

          Adores: 5
        • 2009 December 8
          Lola permalink

          My parents had a lot of “easy listening” ones. E.g., 101 Strings plays Bach’s Biggest Hits, Mantovani, the soundtrack to “Exodus,” etc. Those, too, require irony in order to listen to them. I’m also of the opinion that in the case of the easy listening genre, those song fade-outs and clicks where it changed tracks actually improved one’s listening experience, because then you, however briefly, didn’t have to hear it.
          An 8-track in a vintage Beetle … man, nothing beats that old Volkswagen smell. That plus the sound of an 8-track click are like Proust’s madeleine for me. All of a sudden it’s 1976 and we’re driving home to watch the Muppets or Baa Baa Black Sheep on the dial-sporting set that has foil wrapped around the rabbit ears.
          *spaces out, hard*

          Adores: 2
        • 2009 December 8
          queensbee permalink

          my parents had that same music. on vinyl!! i think the records are someplace at Mom’s. she has a turntable, with a built in 8 track, yah, babeee.

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 December 8
          Lola permalink

          My parents kept my first stereo even after I left home because it had a record player & record turntable & 8-track player! What a bonus!!!111!!1 And they still wanted to listen to all of those things, in addition to the high-end 5-CD carousel player and Bose stereo they have. My dad still has all of his old vinyl, including a late-1950s/early-1960s 45 collection in little carrier cases that would make Rob wossname from ‘High Fidelity’ need a new pair of clean shorts. His newest sonic toy is one of those record players that lets you burn the record onto CD.
          However, Bianchi, if you’re thinking you might “appropriate” some of those items, I’ll remind you for your own safety that he also owns multiple hunting rifles – and knows how to use them. Just a word to the wise!

          Adores: 0
      • 2009 December 8
        Bianchi Sound permalink

        That episode of “Baa Baa Black Sheep” where the Muppets made a guest appearance is still my favorite!

        Adores: 2
        • 2009 December 9
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          So it would inappropriate to appropriate them, I guess?

          Adores: 1
  9. 2009 December 8

    As I understand it, $100 at Best Buy will get you a 6′ HDMI cable.

    Me, I’d probably just take the $100, say thank you, and disappear into the ether.

    If buddy went to the authorities, I’d rely on them to look at him quizzically and call him a blasted idiot.

    Adores: 4
    • 2009 December 8
      GrahamT permalink

      That’s what we call “IRL trolling” and is good for epic lulz.

      Adores: 2
      • 2009 December 8
        Igor The Vigorous permalink

        Nah, IRL trolling is more like what’s been done to CWC.
        And it’s mostly done by horrific douchebags.

        Adores: 0
        • 2009 December 8

          I’m stumped — CWC?
          Canadian Wood Council?
          Canadian Women in Communications?
          Chemical Weapons Convention?

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 December 8
          Igor The Vigorous permalink

          http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Cwc
          The guy’s really messed up, but what /b/ did to him with their trolling was just inhumane and fucked up.

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 December 9

          Aaaaugh, Igor — you KNOW that people search for any mention of him. It’s finally just calmed down from when I mistakenly posted about him a while back, and now you do this?

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 December 9
          Igor the Vigorous permalink

          Don’t worry, DRMK- I posted it late enough so that people wouldn’t have time to react before the next post.

          Adores: 0
  10. 2009 December 8

    I read this when I first woke up this morning and all I could think was, “Yes. Sounds reasonable.”

    Adores: 4
    • 2009 December 8
      meredith permalink

      Does it? Then I have another reasonable offer for you. I know this guy…he’s a prince really. His family is from Nigeria, and he’s due to inherit some money. Only problem is getting the money from Nigeria. That’s where you come in….

      Adores: 4
  11. 2009 December 8

    This whole time I thought I was crazy for sending the mister out to do the Black Friday shopping.. little did I know I could have just posted an ad on Craigslist!

    Adores: 0
  12. 2009 December 8
    queensbee permalink

    it does amaze me how some peeps can get around sans brain. or maybe not get around. no, um, lay around on the couch waiting for someone or thing to DO something for him, yah, that’s it. oh duh.

    Adores: 0
  13. 2009 December 8
    PapaSloth permalink

    I bought you this HDTV.
    That’s not an HDTV.
    Yeah, it’s an HDTV all right.
    No, it isn’t, you’ve merely taken a cardboard box and drawn a picture of a screen on it.
    It comes with its own remote control.
    That’s not a remote control, it’s a box of fish food.
    Look how beautiful the picture is. It’s got megapixels. It’s got 1080 pees. It’s got HDTV in its DNA. It’s got LED backlights.
    It’s made of cardboard. Empty cardboard. You need medication.
    I can haz $100 now?
    Here’s your $100.
    That’s not $100, that’s half a pack of Wrigley’s spearmint chewing gum.

    Teh Enb

    Adores: 9
    • 2009 December 8
      Igor the Vigorous permalink

      I like it. Sounds like a Friday night..

      Adores: 0
      • 2009 December 8
        Lola permalink

        So that’s why you’ve not been by until today? Nice to see you, Tygor.
        *waves*

        Adores: 0
        • 2009 December 8
          Igor the Vigorous permalink

          -Gives Lola a hug, continues river dancing-

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 December 9
          arallyn permalink

          Tygor is a cool name. I think I’ll name my next cat that.

          Adores: 0
  14. 2009 December 8

    Here’s my plan:

    1. Find someone unloading a TV on Craigslist for less than $100. Maybe a broken one.

    2. Take this guy’s money.

    3. Profit!

    (Actually, #1 is optional.)

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 December 18
      CapnMac permalink

      Hmmm . . .
      1. Get Sparky’s money. Go to bestbuy and give $5 to one of the blue tishrit minions for an empty tv box.
      2. Go to pawn shop and find $20-25 tv that fits box (Optional)
      3. Leave box on sparky’s doorstep; ring bell; and run.
      4. Profit!

      Adores: 0
  15. 2009 December 9
    MaxJackson permalink

    If someone was able to get the black friday 5- finger discount on the HDTV this would be a good deal.

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 December 9
      PapaSloth permalink

      Well sure, if you’re willing to go to jail for $100.
      Or you could just not steal the most crappy HDTV in existence, and steal something worth some real money instead. Something that might fit in a backpack instead of a honking big HDTV box.

      Adores: 0
  16. 2011 November 29
    Fl'amme Appat permalink

    Tis the season to take a peek back at this one. I wonder if he tried this same scheme this year?

    Adores: 1
  17. 2011 December 18

    Oh, Sparky bells, Sparky bells,
    Shopping all the way.
    Oh, what fun it is to shop
    For you, you lazy bum, hey!

    If I did this with the cheapest Coby refurb at WorstBuy, even after sales tax, I’d make $26.51. Woo hoo, kegger!

    Adores: 3
  18. 2011 December 18

    My mother jsut had me set up her hdtv for her, from BestBuy, and it cost over $100. It’s a 19″ TV, so a TV under $100 is going to be TINY.

    Maybe I could sell Sparkums the empty box.

    Adores: 1
  19. 2011 December 18
    penguin permalink

    Sparky said “or something” and did not say that it had to work.

    Off to check out local Freecycle list……

    Adores: 1
  20. 2011 December 18

    I just have one question.

    Does Sparky employ this method for all of his/her shopping needs? “Here is $50, go buy my groceries for the week and keep the change!”

    It’s… so weird. Laughed aloud while simultaneously mourning the sad decline of humanity.

    Adores: 3
  21. 2011 December 18
    Windrose permalink

    Wow. I remember the ad. But what strikes me most in reading it today is the list of missing in action people. Igor, Isaac, ToBScholarly, lost_compass, Stephanie, GrahamT, Colleen in Ma, devlish1, many more, too many to list. *sniff* WHERE ARE YOU, WHY DID YOU GO AWAY?

    What? Time for my meds? Oh, okay.

    Adores: 3
    • 2011 December 18
      LimeLolly permalink

      Need a lurking week. Everyone needs to pop in and say ‘Hi’. It’s too early to run a MTV Craigslist special of Where Are They Now.

      Adores: 0
      • 2011 December 18
        CapnMac permalink

        Thought “Where Are They Now?” is a VH1 program.

        (Still find it amusing that both mtv & VH1 only offer music videos on their increased-cost, “additional” channels.)

        Adores: 0
        • 2011 December 18
          LimeLolly permalink

          Goes to show how much tv, I watch. :)

          After searching the interwebs – MTV has ‘When They Were Stars’. Eh – Pppbbbbt

          Adores: 0
  22. 2011 December 19
    Windrose permalink

    We are going to do some well-timed choreographical-type stuff to get the punches handed out. kelli, as soon as I punch you the first time, run around Artsy and step in front of Taco, so I can punch you a second time. Ready? Punchity punch punch! Oh, no, look out for the *crash* TV boxes.

    Good Morning, Happy Campers!

    Adores: 0
  23. 2011 December 19
    Digitalaxis permalink

    Sparky has heard of the concept of personal shopper, but doesn’t understand the idea of compensation for time and effort. Ah well, his time is WAY more valuable than yours. That couch won’t sit on itself.

    Adores: 1

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