YSaC, Vol. 531: To title too assemble hard.

2009 December 30

blinder


as far as i know it works i am sure it has all the parts just not sure how to put it together
it was given to us by family
it needs to be cleaned
it has the spout so the juice goes right into the cup it is yours it you want it
pick up only
email and please leave contact info i will get back to you today
thank you
531

I can see where having to clean this AND figure out how to put these two pieces together could be too much to handle.

FREE KRUPS EXPRESSOR MACHINE


IT WORKS AND HAD ALL THER PART S PIEVES
PLUGS INTO OUTLET
DUH RIGHT
120 VOLTS
I DONT WANT IT ANYMORE BECAUSE I DI NT USE IT FOR 6 MONTHS AND
NOW IT NEEDS TO BE CLEANED. THEY TOLD ME TO USE VINEGAR I TRIED IT WITH VINIEGAR
AND ALSO TRIED SOME NATURAL PEPPERMINT SOAP. NOW ITS SMELLS LIKE SOAP AND I DONT HAVE THE PATIENTS TO KEEP POURING IN FRESH WATER TILL ALL THE SOAP WILL DISPERSE FROM INSIDE THE TUB THAT HEATS THE WATER. IF YOU WANT IT JUST TELL ME YOUR 1ST NAME AND IF ITS A WEIRD NAME TELL ME WHAT YOUR NAME MEANS.
I THINK YOU SHOULD STOP BY TODAY TO COME PICK IT UP. I AM NEAR [location].
CLOSE TO C-TOWN DONT TELL ME HOW TO CLEAN IT I DONT CARE ANYMORE I AM GIVNG IUP LET ME GIVE UP OK.. I KNOW I PAID A LOT FOR IT BUT LET ME GIVE UP.

On the one hand, this is a great opportunity for someone with a weird name who loves peppermint-soap-flavored espresso. On the other, appliances are hard, y’all!

Thanks, James and Johanna!

93 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 December 30
    tacomagic permalink

    Its very important to be as expressor as possible with your patients who are suffering from pepperment mange.

    Adores: 8
    • 2009 December 30
      Windrose permalink

      Hey, TM, what are you doing up so a) early, b) late, or c) long?

      Adores: 2
      • 2009 December 30
        Lola permalink

        Baby, maybe? Though he’s pretty coherent, if sleep-deprived.

        Adores: 2
        • 2009 December 30
          Windrose permalink

          Good point. Although he may have nodded off again.

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 December 30
          tacomagic permalink

          The baby style alarm clock I own makes sure I’m up bright and early every morning… despite my need for more sleep.

          Babby alarm clock worked for me! *zzzzzzz*

          Adores: 8
  2. 2009 December 30
    Windrose permalink

    So that spout that makes the juice go right in the cup, is that a new invention? Should I clean the blinder with peppermint soap? Coffee and juice, all with the refreshing taste of mint.

    Adores: 2
  3. 2009 December 30
    Lola permalink

    Put it together wrong, and it definitely could be a blinder …

    Don’t you hate it when you “DONT HAVE THE PATIENTS” to do your housework? I hate those lazy sick people. Malingerers, all of them!

    Oh, and my name’s Lolita. It means “teenage tart,” even though I am neither. Is that OK?

    Adores: 22
    • 2009 December 30
      lost_compass permalink

      Even if you put it together correctly, but then used it to make pitcher after pitcher of frozen margaritas, it could also be a blinder.

      Adores: 8
      • 2009 December 30
        mudslicker permalink

        well, DUH RIGHT!

        Adores: 6
      • 2009 December 30

        Blinder recipe:

        1 oz lime juice
        1 oz vodka
        2 oz windshield washer fluid

        mix with ice and blend until smooth

        Adores: 20
    • 2009 December 30

      Or run with the top off and 1/2 cup rocks = blinder…….

      And my name is B7Dots – given to me by my great grandmother, an Apache Indian. It refers to the Pleiades star cluster (the seven sisters). Yes I have 7 sisters, but you can keep your dirty expressor machine.

      Adores: 8
    • 2009 December 30
      tacomagic permalink

      It works best as a blinder if you stick your face in it then turn it on. Those blades work wonders.

      Adores: 5
      • 2009 December 30

        I can’t seem to get my head into the blender to properly blind myself. Any tips?

        Adores: 3
        • 2009 December 30
          Windrose permalink

          Maybe you need to see a shrink?

          Adores: 16
        • 2009 December 31

          Use a simple hacksaw to remove the top part of the pitcher. That’s there to prevent children from putting their eyes on the blades, but it’s really only an optional attachment. If you don’t have kids, or if your kids are already blind, cut that pitcher loose, and Bob’s your uncle.

          Adores: 1
    • 2009 December 30

      Lola = Lolita

      Funny, you don’t look Nabokovian

      Adores: 1
  4. 2009 December 30
    Camille permalink

    What if I don’t know what my weird name means? Does that mean I miss out on the soapy expressor machine? That doesn’t seem fair.

    Adores: 3
    • 2009 December 30
      Windrose permalink

      Make something up. You can ask us for help!

      Adores: 2
    • 2009 December 30
      mudslicker permalink

      oh, you would definitely be that camille soap….I don’t know if it would clash with the peppermint or not.

      Adores: 2
    • 2009 December 30
      tacomagic permalink

      I’d tell you all what TacoMagic means, but if I did that where would the magic be?*

      *In my pants is NOT the correct answer to that question.

      Adores: 24
      • 2009 December 30
        Lola permalink

        TM: thanks for reminding me not to drink coffee when reading this site.

        Adores: 1
        • 2009 December 30
          tacomagic permalink

          I does what I can.

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 December 30
          develish1 permalink

          you really should know that by now Lola.

          but then, so should I and I’m also wiping my screen.

          Adores: 1
        • 2009 December 30
          Windrose permalink

          We just all need to learn how to swallow, quickly.

          Adores: 4
        • 2009 December 30

          That’s what she said.

          Adores: 29
      • 2009 December 30
        JuneJenny permalink

        Wow. Total reading fail on my part. I’ve never seen your name as TACOmagic. I was pronouncing it in my head with a long a, like TAKE-o-magic. Not that TacoMagic is all that much more enlightening. 🙂

        Adores: 1
        • 2009 December 30
          Windrose permalink

          Let me guess: You live waaaaay north of the border*, right? 8)

          Yes, I’m being ethnocentrically fixated on the United States. No insults intended, void where prohibited, your mileage may vary, please see package for details.

          Adores: 3
        • 2009 December 30
          develish1 permalink

          but what if I didn’t keep the packaging?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 4
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          Wait- your name isn’t Gic? You’re not from Tacoma?

          Adores: 2
  5. 2009 December 30

    Oh rapture! My lifelong dream has always been to own two slightly-soiled, complicated kitchen appliances. And I think today, my dream has come true.

    My first name is Velampthriscrus. It means “narwhal orgasm” in an ancient nomadic Etruscan dialect. The thought of consuming slightly-soapy “Expressor” is making my mouth water. Please, don’t keep me waiting.

    Adores: 31
    • 2009 December 30
      develish1 permalink

      narwhal orgasm would make a great name for a band

      Adores: 5
      • 2009 December 30

        Narwhal Orgasm and the HYPNO DOGS!!! Appearing LIVE…Sunday! SUNDAY! SUNDAY!!! Kids, bring your mine hores and get in FREE.

        Adores: 13
  6. 2009 December 30

    Well of course it still smells funny, they told him to use “VINEGAR”, but he used “VINIEGAR”. It would have been worse if he’d used Vinny-gar, though.

    Adores: 4
  7. 2009 December 30
    lost_compass permalink

    So the poor guy doesn’t know beans about his expressor machine. He obviously sanka lot of time into trying to clean it. There are no grounds for us to roast him like this, so folger hands and quit typing right this instant.

    Adores: 60
    • 2009 December 30
      Lola permalink

      People who think the pun is the lowest form of humor are just jealous of people like you, l_c! +1 for never failing to impress!

      As an aside: I’m not having the “+1” issues any more; they seem to have disappeared. +1 for that, too.

      Adores: 3
    • 2009 December 30
      mudslicker permalink

      As usual lost_compass, you’re always good to the last drop.

      Adores: 8
      • 2009 December 30
        tacomagic permalink

        Indeed, his comments really help me through my daily grind.

        Adores: 8
        • 2009 December 30
          sarajean80 permalink

          They really perk me up, too!

          EDIT: Bugger, Windrose already did that one. Now I’m steamed that everyone will roast me for not reading all the comments first.

          Adores: 6
        • 2009 December 30
          Windrose permalink

          Sarajean, I think that puts you firmly in the drip grind category. But thanks for playing! (just kidding, we get lots of repeats here because GMTA)

          Adores: 1
    • 2009 December 30

      Yuban good with the puns today!

      You do know “Yuban” Coffee, right? If you have to explain a pun it’s not funny.

      Adores: 5
      • 2009 December 30
        Lola permalink

        No explanation needed – you’d have to be chock full o’ nuts not to get it.

        Adores: 2
        • 2009 December 30

          Thanks a latte.

          Adores: 4
    • 2009 December 30
      lost_compass permalink

      Stop, y’all. You’re going to make me frappe my chinos.

      Adores: 9
      • 2009 December 30
        tacomagic permalink

        It’s good to see all the puns filter down through the ranks. I’d hate to see such a tall order go unfullfilled. You guys are truely raising the barista.

        Adores: 4
        • 2009 December 30
          Windrose permalink

          Feel free to expressor self on YSaC. Reading this will perk you right up, unless you’re a drip grind.

          Adores: 1
        • 2009 December 31

          My thoughts really haven’t been percolating lately. I can’t espresso myself, properly.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 1
          chronologically gifted permalink

          Thanks for illustrating the adage, “A pun at maturity is fully groan.” Here’s to 2010 and good riddance–ahem–good bye to 2009.

          Adores: 3
  8. 2009 December 30
    Steve-O permalink

    Maybe I am reading too much into this, but I feel like going and taking the free appliances from this person would really reinforce survival of the fittest. If you are too much of an ignoramous to put together a blender, you should lay down and die because maybe life in general is too hard. Subsequently, I will take your appliances as though they were the boots of a fallen cowboy in a western movie.
    (Back to bed.)

    Adores: 14
    • 2009 December 30
      GrahamT permalink

      Kind of a technological Darwinism? I like it. I also think many, many computers need to be confiscated if Craigslist is any indication.

      Adores: 4
  9. 2009 December 30
    queensbee permalink

    course you have no patients – you not doctor. or are you? maybe that’s why the speeling is so bad, you know how doctors are.
    or maybe just figuring out how to work a blender is TOO TAXING for your tiny mind! lawdy.

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 December 30
      sarajean80 permalink

      The thought of a doctor that cannot operate a blender makes me go all shivery inside.

      Someone should start a collection to purchase this pathetic person a plastic toy blender. Once they master the ownership of pretend appliances marketed towards small children, they can get a learner’s permit and operate kitchen appliances under adult supervision.

      Adores: 2
  10. 2009 December 30

    Hi, I’m calling about the blinder? Yeah I know it’s in pieces, and dirty. I’m okay with that, cuz like you, my mother raised me in a barn! Hey do you know if it’s crawling with disease at all? Oh, you don’t? Hmm. That’s too bad. I’m a fan of dirty old appliances giving me horrible and disgusting diseases. Oh yeah it has a spout thing! So cool! Please, correct me if I’m wrong, but I’ve heard that this allows you to get the juice DIRECTLY into the cup? It does?! Woo doggy! And to think, all these years I’ve just been removing the pitcher from it’s base and POURING my drinks! Like some sort of caveman…. Hahaha, but again, I was raised in a barn…. Ok well I think you’ve answered all my questions…. What’s that? You don’t even know if it WORKS?!? That’s….. Amazing! Ok ok ok uhhh I am going to come by RIGHT NOW. I NEED THIS BLINDER. 

    Adores: 18
    • 2009 December 30
      tacomagic permalink

      My sarcasm machine just exploded. Why does this keep happening?

      Adores: 2
      • 2009 December 30
        sarajean80 permalink

        Mine keeps doing that, too! Must be a design defect, because the instructions it came with were SO clear.

        *muffled sounds of exploding machinery*

        Dammit. That one singed the drapes.

        Adores: 3
    • 2009 December 30
      ToBScholarly permalink

      +1 for the use of Woo Doggy
      -1 for assuming cavemen were brought up in barns.
      +100 for awesome use of sarcasm.

      Wow. Now that I have found the + key on my keyboard, I cannot seem to stop rating. It is like a disease!

      Adores: 2
      • 2009 December 30
        tacomagic permalink

        Wait… cavemen weren’t raised in barns?

        If they weren’t raised in barns, where on Earth were they raised?

        Adores: 3
        • 2009 December 30
          Windrose permalink

          TM: +1 for capitalizing Earth. No mudslinging here!

          Adores: 0
      • 2009 December 30

        Sorry. I was also educated in a barn.

        Adores: 8
        • 2009 December 30
          Lola permalink

          +1 for humility. 🙂

          Adores: 1
        • 2009 December 31
          Steve-O permalink

          A favorite joke of mine is when I leave the door open and someone asks “Were you born in a barn?” I reply “No, I was born in a hospital with automatic doors.” Not an original, but one of my favorites.

          Adores: 4
  11. 2009 December 30

    Personally, I find notable pathos in the last few lines of the “expressor” post. “Let me give up, let me give up”, he begs us. Can anyone help? Hey Lola, don’t you live near “C-town”?

    Adores: 3
    • 2009 December 30

      So we’re supposed to kill him? I bet an expressor machine to the head would do the trick….

      Adores: 4
      • 2009 December 30
        tacomagic permalink

        I’m not sure. Was that posted under the “Mercy Killings” section of Craigslist?

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 January 2
          Alex permalink

          Oh my God. I nearly lost control of my bowels over this comment. +1

          Adores: 1
    • 2009 December 30
      Lola permalink

      C-Town? I … don’t know … because I don’t know what you’re talking about.

      Adores: 1
      • 2009 December 30

        I just thought there was someplace called “c-town” up somewhere near NYC. That’s all. “Expressor” said he was somewhere up near “c-town”

        Adores: 1
        • 2009 December 30
          Lola permalink

          Now that I think about it, there’s a grocery chain here by that name but I’ve never shopped there as they aren’t in my neighborhood. Maybe this poster lives near one?

          Adores: 0
  12. 2009 December 30
    develish1 permalink

    so he/she is not sure how to put the “blinder” together eh? Well from what I can recall from before I gave mine to a friend after not using it ever, there are only 4 parts, the base, the pitcher, the blade and the lid.

    How dumb can you be if you can’t figure out that the pitcher sits on top of the base, the blade goes inside and the lid goes on the top?

    Mind you, I notice there’s no sign of a lid it that pic.

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 December 30
      ToBScholarly permalink

      Perhaps that is why it is labeled a blinder and not a blender. If you use it without the lid, mixture shoots in your eyes thus blinding you. And then chaos ensues.

      Adores: 6
      • 2009 December 31

        No, no, the mixture shoots directly into the cup!

        Adores: 2
    • 2009 December 30
      Windrose permalink

      Check, check, and check. But I’m pushing the buttons, and nothing is happening! This is too complicated!

      Adores: 1
    • 2009 December 30
      sarajean80 permalink

      I guess it would be too much to hope that the intricacies of human reproduction would prove to be similarly baffling, thus insuring that this person’s genes would not infect another generation.

      They two acts are quite similar. You have make sure everything lines up properly and you also have to know which buttons to push.

      (I won’t mention the “You also have to keep a lid on things or they could get messy” joke that’s in my head, because I’m above that sort of thing.)

      Adores: 11
      • 2009 December 30

        Right! You have to make sure the parts fit together correctly, and being clean helps. I won’t mention “spouts” or “juice” because I’m above that sort of thing too.

        Adores: 3
        • 2009 December 30
          sarajean80 permalink

          But if you’re not clean the spout could get clogged, and then the juices might not make it directly into the cup.

          (I guess I’m not THAT far above that sort of thing.)

          Adores: 5
  13. 2009 December 30

    In Soviet Russia, blinder cleans you.

    (substituting for Ed)

    Adores: 7
  14. 2009 December 30
    InsideJoke permalink

    Or rather, it would clean you if it weren’t lacking patients.

    Adores: 0
  15. 2009 December 30
    Windrose permalink

    Steve-o, you might just get another punch in your card, on general principle. I don’t think anyone else’s quote has stayed up in the box for so long.

    Adores: 0
  16. 2009 December 30
    sarajean80 permalink

    An “EXPRESSOR MACHINE” that brews coffee mixed with a natural peppermint soap? And has the bracing tang of “viniegar” to boot? I think my morning dilemma of whether to drink expresso or brush my teeth has been solved. Now I can do both!
    Thank you, mighty CraigsList gods!

    Adores: 8
  17. 2009 December 30
    Windrose permalink

    Side note: This is so cool. I am usually the only one in my house cleaning, but right now I’m the only one who isn’t! LOL Not for long, but enjoying it while I can.

    Adores: 0
  18. 2009 December 30
    Shark Blank permalink

    Wow. 2 weeks of missed YSaC finally read. Its a good thing I was distracted earlier. Trying to read these with a dog that barks and runs around the minute you laugh would have been terrible, seeing how it was the middle of the night. With my mom sleeping upstairs. How I have missed thee, YSaC…

    Adores: 1
  19. 2009 December 31
    Kat permalink

    I want a blinder.

    Hi guys I’m new *waves*

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 December 31
      Windrose permalink

      *waves back* Hi Kat! Welcome to YSaC. Pull up a virtual chair and have some expressor!

      Adores: 0
      • 2009 December 31
        Kat permalink

        But it’ll be all soapy! I didn’t say any naughty words today, I don’t need my mouth washed out.

        Adores: 3
    • 2009 December 31
      Steve-O permalink

      Welcome!

      Adores: 0
  20. 2009 December 31
    Steve-O permalink

    I know this is a little off topic, but I can’t seen to remember the rules for into/in to. I have been f-ing that up since grade school and can never remember which one is for what. Can you guys help a little? Thanks

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 December 31
      mudslicker permalink

      Whenever the “to” is a particle of the infinitve, be sure to keep them separate: “We dropped in to visit my Aunt,” “He just stepped in to pay the bill.”
      We use “into” to express motion or direction: “He stared into her blue eyes,” “She walked into the store to say hello,” “She drove into the side of the garage.” In a sentence such as “Let’s invite them in to dinner,” of course, you wouldn’t want people walking into your dinner.*

      *I snagged this from “The Grammar Logs”

      Adores: 1
      • 2009 December 31
        Steve-O permalink

        Thank you very much. It was late, I was doing some writing on a grant, and neither one looked right. I suppose I could have Googled it too. Thanks again.

        Adores: 0
  21. 2009 December 31
    Innana permalink

    I’ve been watching for someone to suggest imagining the second ad being read by Christopher Walken.

    Though somehow I hear it in my head as Heath Ledger portraying The Joker.

    Adores: 3
  22. 2009 December 31

    A rap in the making.  Dude just needs to do some editing.  Allow me to assist: 

    Title: 
    NEED TO EXPRESSOR MYSELF, DON KNOW HOW

    MACHINE WORKS 
    DUH RIGHT

    DONT WANT IT ANYMORE 
    NEEDS TO BE CLEANED. 

    SMELLS LIKE SOAP
    DUH RIGHT 
    DONT HAVE THE PATIENTS
     
    YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT
    DUH RIGHT
    DUH RIGHT

    CLOSE TO C-TOWN, MOTHERKRUPPER

    DONT TELL ME HOW TO CLEAN IT I DONT CARE ANYMORE.
    MOTHERKRUPPER  

    I AM GIVNG IUP
    LET ME GIVE UP OK.. 
    KNOW I PAID A LOT 
    LET ME GIVE UP.

    Adores: 3
  23. 2009 December 31

    i work in an electronics store and i can tell you, that 2 nutjobs above are just the tip of the iceberg. if you didn’t have customers, who wrecked up their brandnew 1000+€ washing machines because they didn’t remove the transport-protection-things or put some kind of cream all over their face and then whine about how their keyboard smells funny, because said cream has dripped all over the place, (there’s some kind of unintended bad rhyme in hear, i guess) then you’ve seen nothing.

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 January 2
      Alex permalink

      I don’t have customers, nor do I have patients.

      Adores: 2
  24. 2012 June 4
    Lizzi permalink

    “appliances are hard, y’all” ha ha ha-too funny

    Adores: 0

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