YSaC, Vol. 537: Steal This Kitten!

2010 January 5

Free Cat/Kittens Cute Will Help with their Capture


Several free cats for those cat lovers or people who have a special place in their heart for rescuing poor defenseless kittens. Anyways, I believe they belong to my neighbors but I’m told possession is 90% of the law and I’m more than happy to help you lure them into your car. They can be found roaming the area of ####### st and #### st in ###### (drive carefully because sometimes they like to stretch out in the middle of the street and sun bathe, but people must already know that since they never seem to get hit). Anyways, the sooner the better because I’m tired of them getting in my trash, poking holes in childrens expensive toys and being a lure for small kids to go into the street to pet them. I’m sure they will make somebody a great inside cat. The picture isn’t one of them but there is a large selection and I’m sure you’ll find one for your particular taste.

Kristen, who sent this ad, points out that it essentially “invites readers to come steal their neighbor’s cats. For free! And they’ll help!”

Now, that’s reprehensible. It reminds me of this:

“That’s not evil! That’s just WRONG!”

And then, once you’ve had some practice with that batch, you might want to come deal with THIS set from sarajean, if you can figure it out:

4 Free Black Kittens To Good Home


2 of the black kittens are male and 1 of them is female.

One of the males has been named Jaws, but can be changed, and is the only one with white on his tummy.

The multicolored one is female and she’s been named Dora.

3 of the kittens are black.

1 of them is mostly white with one big area of light brownish on her back.

They are very VERY playful and loving.
537

Let’s do the math here. The picture contains six kittens. Of those six kittens, there are four free black kittens. Two of the six are male, and 1 is female. One of the males has a name, and he’s the only one with white on him. The other one who has multiple colors, besides the only one with white on him, is female, and is named Dora. Out of the six four all black multicolor kittens, three are black. One of the black ones is mostly white. They are also very loving.

I don’t want a very loving cat.

171 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 January 5
    Windrose permalink

    Not enough coffee in the world for this one. I’ll be back later.

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 January 5
      Lola permalink

      Not enough coffee, and I always suck at these logic problems.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 January 5
        Colleen in MA permalink

        Let me go get my second cup and I’ll get back to you.

        Although I’m forming a theory that this is really one cat and the second ad writer was a little confused (i.e. drunk), couldn’t accurately count the number of cats s/he “saw” (… let’s see, four cats, no five, no four, no six, oh eff it … ), and found a pic on the internet that was close enough. Dude just wants to drink in peace.

        Yeah, that sounds about right.

        Adores: 10
        • 2010 January 9
          Jinx permalink

          “One, two, thr- darn it, they moved! One, tw- drat!”

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 5

        even after 2 coffees, this ones still makes my head hurt

        Adores: 1
  2. 2010 January 5

    Wow. I want to make the twisted matrix grid that would solve that problem. I think it was one of the ones we got in sixth grade math class, on a day when the teacher hadn’t had his coffee.

    Adores: 6
  3. 2010 January 5
    jami_no_e permalink

    Cat math is so hard! They really need to put it back into the school system so the average person can understand these posts.

    Adores: 22
    • 2010 January 5

      4 cats = (2 cats(F) + 1 cat(M) x (3 cats(black) + 1 cat(white)) + 1 multicolored cat) / 6 cats (black)

      It’s been a while since Cat Mathamatics but I think this is the formula the poster is working with.

      Adores: 43
      • 2010 January 5
        meredith permalink

        NANA NANA NANA NANA NANA NANA NANA NANA—CAT MATH!!!

        Adores: 39
        • 2010 January 5
          Lola permalink

          *water shoots out of my nose*
          Aaah, thanks, Meredith!

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 January 5
      GrahamT permalink

      They did that here in Arizona and then everyone complained that it was too hard for non-English speaking students. Then all the students were failing the Cat Math portion of the standardized tests. So they just watered it down to the point that it’s basically Dog Math.

      Adores: 35
      • 2010 January 5
        mudslicker permalink

        Um Graham..that would be El Gato Matemático y El Perro Matemático!

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 January 5
          GrahamT permalink

          Oh no… I think I just figured out what was in that Carne de Gato burrito I ate the other day…

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 January 5
          mudslicker permalink

          Ew…unless that’s a Carne Wilson or Carne West reference.

          See…months of YS@C ads and I too can spell like a champ! Or is that chimp?

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 January 5

          That’s why I don’t eat at Filibertos…..

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 5
          GrahamT permalink

          Heh, Stephanie, how did you know I was thinking of Filiburto’s when I wrote that?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 January 5

          Hahaha, it’s what everyone says about Filibertos!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 5

          Oh also I am psychic. And I just remembered I ate there last night…..

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 5
        Bianchi Sound permalink

        ¡Carne de Gato burrito is meowy delicioso!

        Adores: 19
        • 2010 January 5

          yeah, until your stomach starts to meow…..

          Adores: 4
  4. 2010 January 5
    sarajean80 permalink

    Wow, that sounds tempting. I can drive slowly through the neighborhood, avoiding the cats sprawled over the blacktop like sun-warmed roadkill, and then this person will help me capture one of these semi-feral creatures that may or may not belong to one of their neighbors. Since there are so many of them, it’s a good bet none have been spayed or neutered, or have had any sort of vet services in their lives, which means they are likely crawling with fleas and possibly other parasites. Depending on their age and sex they may also be pregnant. Gee, where do I sign up?

    The second one puzzled me even before I sent it in, I studied the picture for several minutes trying to get the numbers to add up but I just couldn’t. There is a Schrödinger’s cat joke in there somewhere, I just know it.

    Adores: 41
    • 2010 January 5
      GrahamT permalink

      +10 for Schroedinger’s cat reference.

      Adores: 6
    • 2010 January 6
      mystic_eye permalink

      Schrodinger states that the observer creates the reality. So in this case there were four cats of which 2 are male and 1 is female. 3 of the 4 are black, 1 of the four is multicoloured, and 1 of the four is mostly white. Depending on who is doing the observing and when/how many drinks of coffee/booze they have had.

      And as a cat lover and someone who thinks that feral cats should have just as many rights as raccoons -I hate people who let their cats wander around. Also I can’t speak to the law everywhere but here you can set a live trap on your property and animal control will come pick up the cat (and many other animals) they do not care if the cat has tags or a microchip -you catch it they take it. If its tagged or chipped they call the owner, and the owner has to pay to get it back and also pay to get it licensed. I’m pretty sure these “owners” would not do that so really this person is just cutting out the middle man.

      Feral cats don’t sit on my front window and taunt my dog, nor do they sit in streets waiting to get hit by cars.

      Adores: 2
  5. 2010 January 5
    Lola permalink

    “All of your cats are belong to us now”?

    Adores: 34
    • 2010 January 5
      GrahamT permalink

      Cats: You are on the way to destruction make your time.

      Adores: 15
  6. 2010 January 5

    Did the first ad just contain a picture of some random cat, in case people forgot what cats look like?

    Adores: 19
    • 2010 January 5

      Personally, I’m constantly forgetting what cats look like. I also carry pictures of other commonplace objects around, like pickles and socks. Memorizing all these things is too hard.

      Adores: 37
      • 2010 January 5
        sarajean80 permalink

        You need one of these. Just be careful what you point at.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 5

          Yes! This would totally solve my sock problem.

          On a related note, I love how they show the pages with bottles of Jack Daniel’s and Coke, instead of the page with things like toilets and hospitals.

          You have to have your priorities straight when traveling!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          Now you won’t end up with jars of lumpy green socks soaked in brine :)

          I thought that was funny, too. I guess it’s hard to express the idea of “I believe my appendix has ruptured and I require medical attention” in a purely pictographic format.

          Adores: 8
    • 2010 January 5
      Bianchi Sound permalink

      I I carry a picture of a Tiger to remind me what a Lion looks like.

      Adores: 55
    • 2010 January 5
      meredith permalink

      Well, you don’t want to get them confused with their feral cousin, the Not-A-Cat.

      Adores: 14
  7. 2010 January 5

    Problem: Two cat posts appear on YSAC. One begins as altruistic but quickly turns douchey. The second was created by a sadist. At this rate, how quickly will you lose your faith in humanity?

    Adores: 16
    • 2010 January 5
      Lola permalink

      Does not apply – I already have.

      Adores: 9
    • 2010 January 5

      ::plugs ears:: La la la, I’m not listening!

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 January 5

      Too late. Humanity is doomed.

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 January 5
      vickie permalink

      I don’t know about the first one turning douchey because I can see the poster’s point…I hate when people let their cats be ‘outdoor’ cats in urban areas. There are too many hazards around. The cats would have much better lives being ‘indoor’ cats.

      Although, I would like to know how the kittens are poking holes in the kids’ toys – when I was a kid, my mom never let us leave our toys outside, and we were DEAD if we went in the street.

      and I lost my faith in humanity a LOOONNNGGG time ago – namely as I took my Environmental Biology class and Biomedical Ethics class in college..

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 5
        pony girl permalink

        I lost my faith in humanity when I recognized santa’s handwriting as my dad’s.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 6
          Steph permalink

          Awww, that’s SAD. That is, like, the epitome of sad. At least my parents tried to disguise their handwriting… and succeeded… Therefore, I do not think it was my parents’ handwriting. o_O

          Adores: 0
  8. 2010 January 5
    PrincessLuceval permalink

    The second ad’s picture looks like a Basement Cat hell, complete with Escher stairway.

    Adores: 31
    • 2010 January 5
      Colleen in MA permalink

      I know, it kind of breaks your heart, right?

      Adores: 1
  9. 2010 January 5

    If they do belong to the neighbor, and the neighbor is letting them wander the neighborhood, getting “stolen” is the best thing that can happen to them.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 January 5
      sarajean80 permalink

      I agree, but soliciting random strangers on CraigsList is not the way to go. The poster should have contacted a rescue group or animal control, people who would know how to safely capture and handle semi-feral cats without hurting themselves or the animals.

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 January 5

        Oh, absolutely, this is just asking for trouble. And he clearly wants the cats gone – I don’t think he’ll find satisfaction this way.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 January 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          It does amuse me to picture the asshat and whatever idiot they managed to dupe into this trying to capture one of these kittens with a cardboard box. It ends much the same way the linked video at the bottom of the Ostrimu’s post does, but with much more cursing and bloodshed.

          Adores: 2
  10. 2010 January 5
    lost_compass permalink

    It’s odd that drmk/Dan didn’t do their usual redaction of the location in the first post, and also odd because I’ve been on ### St. in ##### (#####. A friend of mine in high school was dating a girl who lived there. I remember it because we used to wonder if there was also a ##### St. or ###### Avenue.) … don’t remember any cats in the street, though it’s been years. Maybe this is the same girl, grown up? Probably not.. my friend said she wouldn’t give away anything.

    The local high school sports teams were called the ##### ######, which we found weird and stupid, but which now (to coin a phrase) seems frankly kind of awesome.

    (Fixed – dan)

    Adores: 13
    • 2010 January 5
      lost_compass permalink

      LOL. I don’t think I’ve ever been redacted. I feel all mysterious and inscrutable now.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 January 5
        sarajean80 permalink

        Aww, I thought you did that on purpose, l-c. My illusions have been shattered.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 5
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          Oh, me too. It’s hilarious if you read it as is.

          Now I’m dying to know what the sports team was called. Damn.

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 January 5
        Colleen in MA permalink

        Redact myself all the time in my head.

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 January 5
          LurkRealClose permalink

          I wish I could learn to do that before I speak. Sometimes, it’s too late.

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 January 5

      Now that this has been fixed, it is hilarious.

      Adores: 3
    • 2010 January 5
      mudslicker permalink

      ..and here I assumed they were talking about Delphi, Greece. Apollo is a wiley one but apparently not all that into cats.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 5
        lost_compass permalink

        You turned a mildly amusing and nostalgic post into a “hilarious” one – thanks, Dan! (and sorry for the extra work.)

        Now, off to watch The Mudslicker Redaction.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 5
          mudslicker permalink

          mwaaah-ha-ha….

          I could have been talking about Delphi faucets as well….

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 January 5
      GrahamT permalink

      What were the football cheers like?

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 January 5
        sarajean80 permalink

        Just a guess?

        Pound ‘em, pound ‘em, pound ‘em into hash!

        Adores: 16
      • 2010 January 5
        PrincessLuceval permalink

        “Gimme a poundsign, gimme a poundsign, gimme a poundsign! Yay, multiple poundsigns!”

        Adores: 12
        • 2010 January 5
          Lola permalink

          “Star, star star!!!”
          *stunting*

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 January 5
          Jen permalink

          ZOMG sudden blinding realisation – do Yankees call # a poundsign?? For _ages_ I have wondered why, in a country which uses dollars, you have the symbol for British currency on your phones! Now it all makes sense!!!

          Off topic, yes, but I just wanted you all to know that you have contributed to my learnings today. :) Lord knows work isn’t getting any of my attention…

          Adores: 8
      • 2010 January 5
        GrahamT permalink

        :)

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 January 5
          MissAnthrope permalink

          Pound, in this instance, refers to weight. 6# indicates six pounds of… flour or whatever.

          Adores: 0
  11. 2010 January 5
    trinket permalink

    At first I was like, no way, I don’t a cat called Jaws and then they were all, but you can change it! And so I was like, oh, ok, how do I do that? Cuz I’m not really into paperwork and legal stuff, ya know? But they were like, no, you just pick a new name and start calling him that, and I’m like, really? That’s all? You should really explain that in the ad.

    Adores: 19
    • 2010 January 5
      sarajean80 permalink

      The only reason I can think of to name a kitten “Jaws” would be if the kitten tended to bite, which is something I would want to avoid mentioning if I was trying to get rid of said kitten.

      That might just be me, though.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 January 5
        vickie permalink

        maybe because he looks like a shark, or likes to hide/hunt while under covers or rugs (like one of my cats does)

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 5

          oh yes I’m familiar with that game. At one point one of ours was spending so much time peeking out from under a sheepskin rug in the spare room, we decided she thought she was a sheep.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 6
          sarajean80 permalink

          My oldest cat Simon does that with a denim quilt every time he hears a loud noise (or really any noise). Sometimes he spends all day as a lump on the bed. I sometimes call him my little gopher.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 7
          Cled permalink

          Sarajean, on first reading, I thought you were talking about your oldest son, Simon, and my only thought was “Please God, I hope he’s not 18 or something”.

          For a cat, that’s really cute. :D

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 January 5
      Meredith permalink

      You can rename it anything, too! As long as it is either Becky or Tim. Anything!

      Adores: 18
      • 2010 January 5
        sarajean80 permalink

        So I have to rename it Anything?

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 January 5

          “Here Anything” “Anything!” “Supper time Anything”

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 January 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          I have heard worse. My mother did have a cat named Stupid when she was growing up, because that was the only name it would answer to, and my sister has a cat named Bad Kitty.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 January 5
          Lola permalink

          One of my friends has a cat named Little Kitty, because it was the baby to the other, named cat. Nothing else stuck. Little Kitty is about 15 and terrorizes the neighborhood when not glaring malevolently into the house, attempting telepathically to force them to let her in. There is nothing little about the cat.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 January 5

          strangely enough one of mine, Smudge, also answers to something other than her name, although she does answer to her name too.

          I’m rather glad of that, as I’d hate to be standing there yelling “come on dumbf@ck” at meal times, lol.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 January 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          Dev – If they did answer to whatever you called them the most, Fearless (the one on the left in my avatar) would be named “Fluffbrained Suicidial Moron”, which is a bit more of a mouthful.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 5

          yes that would take some effort wouldn’t it? But you’re neighbours would probably find it hysterical.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 January 5
          Linnee permalink

          We’re feeding a feral stray. When I asked my daughter what she calls the cat, she said, “Nothing,” And it stuck, despite my complaint that he deserved a real name. I was outnumbered when our cat Daphne decided that Nothing was appropriate. So…Anything sounds like an OK name. Daphne says so.

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 5
        Bianchi Sound permalink

        Thanks for the advice, Tim!

        Adores: 0
      • 2010 January 5
        mudslicker permalink

        Only if Becky and Tim are getting married and they need a “Tiffany” lamp that is “adjustable”…or was that “blank” wedding invitations?

        Gawd…

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          I think Becky and Tim had the “blank” invites and Denise and Tom had the adjustable “chanderlier”.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 5
          mudslicker permalink

          So close I was eh sarajean?

          (I hate it when I revert to speaking like Yoda)

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          You get extra credit just for remembering. I cheated a little and looked in the archives.

          BTW, I programed my GPS so it sounds like Yoda and awesome it sounds!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 5
          mudslicker permalink

          Yeah..everything’s fine and dandy until the Millennium Falcon takes a wrong turn down Darth Vader’s culdesac.

          I might have to commit Yodacide after the first 650 miles.

          “Luke, are we yet there? Are we yet there? Pee I might have to.”

          You sarajean, are a much more patient and braver person than I.

          Adores: 11
        • 2010 January 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          It’s not that bad, but now I do tend to give people directions like “…then right you must turn…”

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 January 5
          Luke Skywalker permalink

          Does your GPS ever just tell you to “turn off the navi-computer and Use The Force” or “trust your feelings” when you almost get to where you’re going? I f-ing hate that!

          Adores: 21
        • 2010 January 5
          TIE Pilot permalink

          Lord Vader says navi-computers are for p**sies anyway.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 5
          Sandtrooper permalink

          Can your GPS locate the droids I’m looking for?

          Adores: 10
        • 2010 January 5
          Luke Skywalker permalink

          Oh, right, until he’s all “Come here, son. Take off my mask. I want to see you with my own eyes. Waaa. Waaa. Waaa. I’m so sorry about everything I ever did. I love you so much. Boo hoo.”

          Tell it to the people of Alderaan, old man!

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 January 5
          TIE Pilot permalink

          Well, apparently the Force fell for it. Have you seen the end of Return of the Jedi?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 5
          Sandtrooper permalink

          You n00b, everyone knows ROTJ isn’t canonical. There’s no way a bunch of Ewoks could beat an entire legion of the Emperor’s best troops.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 5
          Luke Skywalker permalink

          Wait a parsec. Are you telling me they made movies about my family?

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 January 5
          Royal Guard permalink

          Fools! He’s about to break the fourth wall! Our lives are forfeit!

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 6
          Windrose permalink

          Uhm. Who let the droids out?

          Adores: 23
        • 2010 January 6
          Meredith permalink

          The end of this thread here is perhaps the greatest takeover I’ve seen in ages.

          It could be because Luke Skywalker is, to this day, my greatest crush.

          Oh, and Windrose….favorite comment EVER!

          Adores: 2
  12. 2010 January 5
    mudslicker permalink

    RE: I’m tired of them getting in my trash, poking holes in childrens expensive toys and being a lure for small kids to go into the street to pet them.

    Free Kids/Babies Cute Will Help with their Capture

    I’m sure they will make somebody a great inside child. The picture isn’t one of them but there is a large selection and I’m sure you’ll find one for your particular taste.

    Adores: 22
    • 2010 January 5
      sarajean80 permalink

      I think this “Cute” person has some sort of kidnapping (or kittennapping) fetish.

      Adores: 1
  13. 2010 January 5
    sarajean80 permalink

    Yeah! I get a two-fer today! One of my submissions made it and I get a punch on my card from Windrose!

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 January 5

      Go Sarajean!

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 January 5
      meredith permalink

      Your card is always fully punched in my heart, sarajean.

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 January 5
      Windrose permalink

      Sorry I’m late, I’ve got the hole punch right– Uh. Oh. BRB.

      Adores: 0
  14. 2010 January 5
    Texchanchan permalink

    Get ‘em neutered! Get ‘em neutered! Ever heard of catch and release?

    I had a neighbor once who said he wouldn’t get his tomcat neutered because it was against his Buddhist beliefs. I said, “In that case how would you like a basket of kittens?” He said, “I can take them to the pound as easy as anybody else.” Some Buddhist. I think he was vicariously living through that tomcat, as his wife was a formidable woman.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 January 5
      Bianchi Sound permalink

      He didn’t know that his cats were Unitarian.

      Adores: 10
      • 2010 January 5
        Texchanchan permalink

        And polygamists.

        Adores: 5
    • 2010 January 5
      Lola permalink

      There are still countries in Europe (I have a friend who used to live in one of them, and owned a cat there) where they don’t neuter the males – only the females are fixed. Hmph.

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 January 5

      Good grief. An un-neutered male cat is not a good pet, unless you have a high tolerance for kitty semen being sprayed around your house. Oh, let me guess… the un-neutered male roamed the neighborhood too?

      Adores: 2
  15. 2010 January 5
    Meredith permalink

    RAAAARRRRRGHHHHH!!! I HATE MATH PROBLEMS!

    And see, this is how I’ve seen all math my entire life. Simply an inscrutible set of numbers that I can make no sense of.

    Glad I’m totally into a math/science guy. With each of us using one side, we have almost an entire brain between us.

    Adores: 21
  16. 2010 January 5

    The only possible answer to this existential question is…fish.

    Or maybe it’s golf…

    You pick.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 January 5
      sarajean80 permalink

      I thought the answer to everything was “42″.

      Adores: 16
    • 2010 January 5
      meredith permalink

      “4 cats = (2 cats(F) + 1 cat(M) x (3 cats(black) + 1 cat(white)) + 1 multicolored cat) / 6 cats (black)”

      The answer is: The Backstreet Boys.

      Adores: 8
      • 2010 January 5
        Lola permalink

        Before that, in Cat Math, the answer was “Color Me Badd.” Now the answer in New Cat Math is “Backstreet Boys.”
        Tough keeping up with this stuff, I know.

        If a multicolored cat starts up from the bottom of the stairs and a black cat starts moving down the stairs from the top, how long will it take for one of them to get under the feet of their owner and trip them? Please show your work. Extra points for factoring in a) the sound of a can opener, b) darkness, or c) the owner stepping barefoot onto a freshly-deposited furball.

        Adores: 11
        • 2010 January 5

          Factoring in the number of trips I make to the bathroom at night = 2, and figuring that the probability of a juicy hairball being directly in my path at any time = 87.93%, the standard result is me tripping down the stairs at least once a week.

          Extra credit: Probability of slowly healing injury to self = 48.61% each time, +/- 3%. Probability of cursing and empty threats to make cats into small, furry bathmats during each occurrence of any of the above = 100%.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 January 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          scratches head

          I don’t think I did that right. My answer says “spinach toothpaste”.

          Adores: 20
        • 2010 January 5

          and I was doing so well today too

          *wipes cola off screen*

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 5
          meredith permalink

          Please show your injuries, is more like it.

          Adores: 5
      • 2010 January 5
        Bianchi Sound permalink

        Where’s Emily to tell us that all of this is racist?

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 5
          Lola permalink

          Hey, my cat is black. If you asked him, “Can’t we all just get along?” he would likely reply* “Yes, so long as she feeds me.”

          *were he to have the power of human speech, which, frankly, I am glad he does not

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          I think that’s pretty much every cat in existence, ever, all the time.

          I can’t even throw out an empty cat food bag inside, I have to take it to the big can outside because my dainty darlings will knock over the trash can and try to eat the bag.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 5

          (Impersonates Emily)
          So, what these people are implying is that since the cats are black, that people can just OWN them? Like….SLAVES?! And even give them names as if thier lives and personalities are subject to the mercy of thier owners? And I’ll bet those racist bigoted owners of African-American cats will pet and feed them, and give them medicine when they are sick and let them tear up the house and give them internet fame on such websites as icanhascheezburger, all in a sick, demented appeal to make the slave-cats love them and do thier bidding and manipulate them! I wish they were Canadian cats. everyone knows you can’t own a Canadian.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 January 5
          sweetbiscuit21 permalink

          I must have missed Emily’s witty and insightful contribution…..anyone care to enlighten me?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 January 5

          I think this is what you’re looking for sweetbiscuit

          http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=3734#comment-19725

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 January 6
        Meredith permalink

        Oh yeah, and since no one got it, this was an Aqua Teen Hunger Force reference. It’s a late night cartoon on Adult Swim. And my ex boyfriend is that milkshake in human form. For real.

        http://video.adultswim.com/aqua-teen-hunger-force/backstreet-boys.html

        Adores: 1
  17. 2010 January 5
    Amber permalink

    I notice that while they are kind enough to allow you to change Jaws’ name, no such allowance is made with Dora. Apparently, Dora’s name is unchangeable. I wish I could say the same for her black multicolored white with light brown fur.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 January 5
      meredith permalink

      Don’t question it.

      Dora is the cat closest to the front. She is the only one keeping the rabid purple Tribble from reaking havoc on the world, or at least on the top landing. Without her name, the other troops wouldn’t know who to follow, and mass chaos would ensue.

      Do not question the Dora-Cat.

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 January 5
        Bianchi Sound permalink

        Dora-cat is no match for HYPNO-CAT!

        Adores: 7
        • 2010 January 5
          meredith permalink

          Uh Oh, I think Dora-Cat and Hypno-Cat may be arch enemies.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 5

          Or best friends…….

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          …or best frenemies.

          Adores: 3
  18. 2010 January 5

    I know a couple of restaurants that would be interested in both of these ads.

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 January 6
      Steph permalink

      I think my dad’s coworker must have gone there with his family, then… Coworker’s kid goes, “Hey, look, Dad! Onion rings!” And the coworker replies, “Son, those aren’t onion rings. They’re flea collars!”

      Adores: 0
  19. 2010 January 5
    sarajean80 permalink

    I’m surprised no one has mentioned it, but nice Abbie Hoffman reference by the Ostrimu :)

    Adores: 4
  20. 2010 January 5
    Mrphysic permalink

    The only thing missing as far as I’m concerned from this cat math problem is the (Family Guy) line I added at the end:

    4 Free Black Kittens To Good Home

    2 of the black kittens are male and 1 of them is female.

    One of the males has been named Jaws, but can be changed, and is the only one with white on his tummy.

    The multicolored one is female and she’s been named Dora.

    3 of the kittens are black.

    1 of them is mostly white with one big area of light brownish on her back.

    Solve for x

    Adores: 1
  21. 2010 January 5
    queensbee permalink

    i was told there would be NO MATH!
    and this guy is one sick…………….puppy. someone should report him to, someone. creepo.

    Adores: 2
  22. 2010 January 5

    The TICK!!!11! all stupidity aside *and for me, that’s saying alot* I propose that we boycott all television until The Tick is brought back in all of it’s awesome sarcastic silliness. I’ll bring the pitchforks and torches!! You bring cookies, bacon and cupcakes. With sprinkles.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 January 5
      TIE Pilot permalink

      SPOOOOOOON!

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 6

        I think i’m in lerv. I thought…I was the only one.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 6
          TIE Pilot permalink

          Many tuned in one Saturday morning in 1997 and a little part of us died.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 6
          TIE Pilot permalink

          Also, I love bacon.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 6
          TIE Pilot permalink

          And Hebrew wisdom literature references.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 6
          TIE Pilot permalink

          Disregard last. For some reason I conflated William Congrave’s “Hell hath no fury…” with Proverbs 25:24′s “It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house.”

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 6

          TIE, that’s fine. I know the verse, and I’m a big Jew, so either way, you’re golden and I’m Goldstein.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 6
          TIE Pilot permalink

          I was lying about the bacon part. I don’t eat pork, at least not on purpose.

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 January 6
      Meredith permalink

      How about bacon cupcakes? I have made them…they needed a little work, but were tasty nonetheless.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 January 6
        sarajean80 permalink

        I had chocolate covered bacon at last year’s state fair. It was rather tasty.

        Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 7

        I see you’ve gone to Voodoo Doughnuts in Portland, Oregon? Bacon covered cupcakes. My quest for them and thier Fruity Pebbles-covered chocolate-raspberry doughnuts has taken me on Harold and Kumar-style night trips from Seattle to Portland.

        Adores: 2
  23. 2010 January 5
    Ralph permalink

    Free food for the sofa snake!

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 January 6
      Windrose permalink

      Oh. That WAS a boa in your pocket. 8(

      Adores: 3
  24. 2010 January 5
    Christina permalink

    There is an organization in my town that picks up stray cats, neuters them, vaccinates them and drops them back where they were found, bringing food and water to them several times a week. In theory this is a good idea, much like the foundation in Rome that does the same. Unlike Rome however, North Texas does not have miles of historic ruins for the cats to run about. Rather, we have garbage cans and car tires for them to pee on and dogs for them to torment. In fact, I would not be surprised if poster #1 was one of my crankier neighbors.

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 January 9
      Jinx permalink

      The VA hospital I go to had a large feral population a few years back. They had been “catch and released”, and were being fed.

      Now, there is a sign at the gate saying to look out for the coyotes… :-(

      Adores: 1
  25. 2010 January 5
    screamer permalink

    There’s no reply button on Hellhathnofury’s post but plus 10 for getting Emily’s correct misspelling of “thier”!

    Adores: 2
  26. 2010 January 5
    Windrose permalink

    Okay, Sarajean, bring your spinach toothpaste to the office for. . . wait, that’s not right. In fact, that’s highly improbably. Oh, heck.

    Adores: 1
  27. 2010 January 6
    Alex permalink

    It seems that Post #2 is a cat-themed variation of Einstein’s Riddle (http://www.increasebrainpower.com/einsteins-riddle.html). They are more clever than we think! *cough* er. maybe.

    or, perhaps……….

    On my way to St. Ives I saw a man with 7 wives. Each wife had 7 sacks. Each sack had 7 cats. Each cat had 7 kittens. Kitten, cats, sacks, wives. How many were going to St. Ives?

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 January 6
      Windrose permalink

      One for every vote I can give you. 8)

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 January 6
      Meredith permalink

      One of my favorite riddles!!!!

      Adores: 0
  28. 2010 January 6
    Windrose permalink

    Hole punch? Check. Sarajean’s card? Check. Punched? Check! Whew. Night, all.

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 January 6

      you can’t go yet, you didn’t yell SPOOOOOON!

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 6
        Windrose permalink

        SPOOOOOON! (sniff) (Poor Tick, didn’t deserve to go like that)

        Adores: 1
    • 2010 January 6
      sarajean80 permalink

      YAY!
      I mean,
      SPOOOOOON!

      Adores: 2
  29. 2010 January 6
    chronologically gifted permalink

    OK, so I’m, like, new to this site, sorta, and I left, like, a couple of comments but, y’no, no body responded.
    So is there a deadline here for leaving comments on a post or was I just too lame to warrant or do you guys just ignore old people? harumph.
    And where did all those Star Wars guys come from? Do they lurk in corners waiting to invade?

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 January 6

      oh we have all sorts of lurkers here, I know, I used to be one.

      As to whether anyone replies, a lot depends on when you comment. We’re a pretty wide spread bunch here location wise, so “normal” time for you might be “oh my god I need my pillow” time for others.

      Hang in there though, it’s worth it.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 January 6
        Lola permalink

        I concur. Keep visiting and commenting, please!
        I’ve been here a while and this is the first manifestation that I can remember of the Star Wars guys, fwiw.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 January 6
          Meredith permalink

          Hopefully not the last. It was like some kind of hilarious walk on.

          “Play me off, Johnny” :::old timey piano music:::

          :::yatatatadada….yatatata….::::

          —that’s what old timey piano music sounds like in text.

          Adores: 4
      • 2010 January 6
        dan permalink

        What develish1 said. (probably) The site is generally updated around 9 – 10 AM EST (we think… the whole daylight savings thing has unpredictable effects). Some people read it right after it goes up, and some people live in Australia. Wait, those aren’t mutually exclusive, I suppose.

        At any rate, there are people signing on all day, so it just depends on who you catch when. Thanks for reading and commenting!

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 January 7
          chronologically gifted permalink

          Thanks, guys, for the info. I’ve been reading since last August and learning not to drink while reading, among other things. Just started commenting a few weeks ago. I tend to get here late at night after the house is quiet. Fortunately, I’m in the opposite corner of the house from those who have already found their pillows so I seldom wake anyone up as I bwahaha.

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 January 6
      Windrose permalink

      Also, I’ve learned to check the recent comments box up top to the right, and see if folks commented on old posts (yes, that is still happening) or if I missed something after logging off at night. The earlier you can post, the better, but you can also comment in the Forum. (This is not a paid advertisement for YSaC Forum) (Yet)

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 January 6
      Sandtrooper permalink

      We are always watching you.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 6
        Steph permalink

        Oh noes!

        Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 7
        Alex permalink

        Always watching, but somewhat inept at looking for things.

        Adores: 1
  30. 2010 January 7
    ebr permalink

    Fuzzy math!

    Adores: 0

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