YSaC, Vol. 555: I put on my hat and wizard robe …

2010 January 23

Drums


Make a offer

Comment regular Bianchi Sound sends in this ad, saying, “Four words, and only one used improperly, too. What kind of drums? How many drums? New? Old?  Who cares. This ad is so pure and simple, I feel as if I am one with the internet.”

It is very zen. But, as the ad is voiced in the imperative, we MUST make a(n) offer … ideally one that maintains the spirit and wonder of the original.

Dungens and Dragons for Tamboreen


Hey any one to trade juice of gelfling for a drum. Or I can roll some seven headed dice for a dulcimer.
Or trade a sword for an axe. More news at eleven.
Why Am I doing this.

I wonder if the first poster will accept the trade of juice of gelfling. It seems like a good trade to me.

I can’t help but wonder what the tambourine is useful for in Dungeons and Dragons — the last I checked, there wasn’t a +1 Spell of the Talentless Girlfriend in that game.

Why Am I doing this, indeed? Don’t we all ask ourselves that rhetorical question — er, statement — on a regular basis? I know I do.

Thanks, Jon, for bringing the second ad to my attention on Twitter! (By the way, you can follow You Suck at Craigslist on Twitter or on Facebook. I post bonus posts whenever I remember to.)

Update, 11:07 am: There’s another drum-related post that’s been making the rounds very recently — I thought I’d add it in here. It’s long, so it’s behind a cut:

Looking for someone special…


who would kill my drummer for $100.00. do not fear any negative consequences for this act. any self respecting law enforcement agency would gladly turn the other cheek once they hear this guy “play”. I am tired of hearing his 70′s style fills put in the wrong spot and ending one half beat early or late depending on how much he’s had to drink. I am tired of him standing up behind his drums between songs and ripping his shirt off and flexing his muscles at wedding receptions where we were hired to play Air Supply, carpenters , and ann murray songs because “chicks dig the pecs, dude”.I am tired of him showing up 20 minutes late for rehearsals then pouting until someone helps him load in his drums, then taking 30 minutes to set them up and needing a smoke break every 15 minutes, then wanting to leave early because”this chick is so fine, I can’t say no, and she knows record people dude, so it’s for the band” I am totally done with him calling me up at midnight to play me some damned jazz fusion album from 1981, crying and saying how we shouldn’t have sold out to “the man”and asking if I know anyone who can get him some weed knowing full well I smoked twice in 69 and never touched it after that.

I am sick of him farting on stage where the drum mics pick it up and thinking this shit is funny. I am tired of kicking off slow ballads at well under 80 bpm only to have them morph into the methamphetimine version of flight of the bumble bee, because that’s the tempo he “feels” it at. I am tired of having to carry jumper cables to the gig because “I must have left the dome light on again, dude”instead of admitting his 84 oldsmobile is a worn out piece of crap. I am tired of him asking when he’s gonna get a drum solo.

I am tired of paying his tab at restaurants because “that chick must have stole my wallet man, but it was worth it ’cause she was a phreak”. I will not move my amp again so he can put another new cymbal on the stage, because “when we learn some fusion i’ll need this sound”………please somebody kill this motherfucker. i can’t do it because he’s my brother and mom would be so pissed off even though she thinks the band would probably sound better too. besides, if you are good at killing drummers, you could probably make a lot of money in this town.

Enjoy!

214 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 January 23
    Lola permalink

    Given my experience with most drummers my offer is:
    “What will it take for you to stop playing them?” The fact that they are offering to get rid of them is irrelevant. They might not be successful, and then you’re still stuck listening to them.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 January 23
      Windrose permalink

      It takes a lot of love to raise a kid who is in a band. First he played trumpet in school bands, now it’s guitar in a ska band. Luckily, he’s talented and I like the music. Don’t know if I could have put up with drums.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 January 23
        Lola permalink

        One of my cousins is an accomplished drummer, and his parents were remarkably patient. He still has at least one kit (he has separate jazz and rock kits) at their house – in the basement, of course – and they seem to have worked out how long he can practice there without making his parents crazy. I have a friend whose younger brother got a drum kit when we were in high school, and she reported that at one point her parents were wishing they had a fallout shelter in the backyard to which he could be relocated …

        Adores: 4
  2. 2010 January 23
    Windrose permalink

    On a street in Mission Valley, beneath an underpass, almost any weekend you could find a drummer practicing his heart out. Didn’t seem to bother the motorists, and I thought he was one of the most thoughtful musicians around.

    Wonder if he played D & D?

    Adores: 5
  3. 2010 January 23
    Windrose permalink

    I need a pot of holding coffee. *yawn*

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 January 23
      sarajean80 permalink

      Me too. I’d also like a +1 Breakfast of Champions to go with that, please.

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 January 23
        Lola permalink

        I’ve got the electric kettle plugged in and the french press sitting by at the ready, ladies. Cream? How many lumps?

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 23

          Can a guy get a cup, too?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 23
          Lola permalink

          *passes full mug*

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 23
          Lara permalink

          You have inspired me to whip out my French Press and get the neurons firing.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 23
          Tacomagic permalink

          I just quaffed my coffee of greater awakening and now I’m eating my poptart of haste. Good way to start the day before sitting down to memorize some spells.

          And before anyone asks about D&D: yes.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 January 23
          Windrose permalink

          Yes to the cream, no lumps. Ah, delightful!

          Adores: 2
  4. 2010 January 23

    Mornin’ ladies. Shall we clink coffee cups all around? I got nothing yet even after two cups. Woeful. Hopefully, brain will kick in soon.

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 January 23
      Lola permalink

      Tomorrow’s my birthday and I was sent home with the remaining sweets from the party at work (we all get one – a nice perk). I have pineapple cheesecake and chocolate cupcakes. Maybe some sugar will be inspirational. I certainly can’t match anything as funny as drmk’s “the last I checked, there wasn’t a +1 Spell of the Talentless Girlfriend in that game” regarding tambourine players. (Did anyone else think of Linda McCartney at that moment, or am I the only mean person here?)

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 January 23
        Lara permalink

        Happy Birthday early Lola, I got you these drums <3

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 23
          Lola permalink

          Oh Lara, you shouldn’t have! My neighbors will be here in a moment to thank ou in person! ;)

          Adores: 6
      • 2010 January 23
        Windrose permalink

        Linda, Yoko, and some nameless young lady who got up and sang with Hollywood Undead. She was obviously with the lead singer. Don’t know if she sang well or not, though, it was too noisy. Great show.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 23

          Hollywood Undead FTW
          that is all.

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 24

        Happy Birthday Lola. You’re in NY? I’ll send you some warm weather…..

        Adores: 1
    • 2010 January 23
      Windrose permalink

      Psst, Archie! Review the post-it notes! I’m sure there will be inspiration there!

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 23

        Thanks for the encouragement, Windrose, but I still got nothing. Hmmmm. I guess drums don’t do it for me. Must be because I played the accordion in my early days.

        Yes, really.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 23

          If Weird Al thinks it’s cool, it’s cool.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 23
          Lola permalink

          I’ve seen enough Celtic rock groups of various stripes to know that one can rock out the accordion and be sexy whilst doing so (particularly if male, but that’s just my opinion). I think accordions are as cool or uncool as you want them to be.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 23

          True that, Lola. However, when you are a teenage girl during the beginning of the Beatles, aka 1964, it can take a mighty large amount of self-convincing to believe that you are cool playing the accordion. I was fairly good at one point, even playing on the same stage as Myron Floren (tucked waaaaaay in the back corner). The drums would probably have not afforded me that opportunity. Plus, they would have driven my mother nuts.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 23
          Windrose permalink

          Archie, that was you? 8)

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 23

          If you’re talking about the girl in the back with bangs, braces and glasses, it was indeed me.

          Adores: 3
  5. 2010 January 23
    Irregular Fractal permalink

    It’s a trick trade. Get an axe.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 January 23
      Lola permalink

      Are you sure it’s not a trap? Where’s Admiral Ackbar when you need him?

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 23
        lareina permalink

        Pfft. I was always distinctly unimpressed with Ackbar’s speed on the uptake. By the time he actually yells the line, I always imagine the other deck officers pausing momentarily to stare witheringly at him, all, “No shit, Sherlock. We had noticed. You know, five minutes ago. Way to state the obvious there, ADMIRAL.”

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 January 23
          Windrose permalink

          Yeah, he was only promoted because his father is like a big job on the fishy planet.

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 January 23
        Tacomagic permalink

        Lola: For you

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 January 23
          Lola permalink

          TM: snort!

          Adores: 2
  6. 2010 January 23
    TigerShark permalink

    I roll my D-20, with a 19 and go back to bed.

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 January 23
      Ed Snyder permalink

      Dice with heads are notoriously difficult to roll.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 23
        Bianchi Sound permalink

        Really? I’ve often heard that heads will roll.

        Adores: 12
  7. 2010 January 23
    Mimi permalink

    I hear you have drums for sale. I’ll take them for free.

    Adores: 7
  8. 2010 January 23
    lareina permalink

    I had to Google at least two of the words in that second ad. Don’t get me wrong, I am a massive geek, but the D&D world is completely foreign to me. Although I imagine that if I were an aficionado, I would at least know how to spell ‘Dungeons.’

    I have to wonder if that isn’t a little cry for help at the end there – a brief moment of self-awareness resulting in a single anguished question (not that you’d know it’s either of those from the punctuation) hurled out into the unfeeling void of the internet.

    Why, indeed, mysterious Craigslist poster. Why indeed.

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 January 23
      Windrose permalink

      Lareina, I’m curious, which two words? 8)

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 January 23
        Tacomagic permalink

        Probably Griefling and Dulcimer.

        Granted Dulcimer isn’t D&D, but it is a rather obscure instrument. One that I play actually.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 23
          Mimi permalink

          Oooooh, hammered dulcimer? I’m listening to a CD of that music right now. =D

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 23
          Tacomagic permalink

          Yup, Hammer Dulcimer. Haven’t played mine in ages though, probably out of practice.

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 23
        Windrose permalink

        Finally took the time to look at that D&D ad again. It’s not griefling! It is juice of gelfling, like in Dark Crystal! Hold on while I attempt to post a link. *rolls for initiative* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dark_Crystal Okay then! 8)

        Adores: 2
  9. 2010 January 23
    Lara permalink

    I feel like Why Am I is a phrase, so perhaps this person is Why Am I and is identifying themselves as doing this. They copied Will I Am but did it poorly. Props for trying to earn street cred while offering D&D trades.

    Adores: 3
  10. 2010 January 23
    Lara permalink

    The Drums one lacks the zen quality for me because I have a pet peeve about using a and an properly. I would offer an n for those drums so the poster can be grammatically correct.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 January 23
      christina permalink

      My husband has recently been cruising the local CL for a particular cymbal, but only found symbols. Some of the ads he read me made “make a offer” look down right scholarly.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 23
        Windrose permalink

        *points to Submit a Listing link at top right of page*

        Adores: 1
  11. 2010 January 23
    Ed Snyder permalink

    Perfect, I have an old tamboreen drum (spelled backward that’s murdneerobmat) and I’ve been desperately hunting for dragon dung (or dungen in Middle Archaic).

    Adores: 2
  12. 2010 January 23
    Stephanie permalink

    IT’S THE YSAC 11 O’CLOCK NEWS, WITH SPARKY NONSPEEL.

    Thank you for joining us. I’m Sparky Nonspeel. Tonight’s top story: The Murderous Gang of Tamboreens was spotted again, in the basement district of town this afternoon. They threw their trademark 7-sided dice at innocent bystanders, screaming things like “Trade sword for axe” and “Why Am I doing this.” 3 people were hurt and sent to the YSAC Hospital, where they shall receive ample amounts of brain bleach and a copy of Webster’s Dictionary.

    Adores: 23
  13. 2010 January 23
    Ed Snyder permalink

    To roll the dulcimer seven-headed die,
    to make a offer on drums.
    A sword for an axe,
    that is the question.
    Alas, why am I doing this?

    Adores: 12
    • 2010 January 23
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      I can’t help but hear that read by Shatner with bongoes and a string bass in the background, à la his dramatic readings of Palin’s tweets.

      Adores: 16
      • 2010 January 23
        Bianchi Sound permalink

        Kaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 23
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          Picture yourself
          In a boat
          By a river
          With tangerine trees
          And marmalade skiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeesssssssssss

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 January 23
          lareina permalink

          As Karaoke Monkey always says, if you want to sing out, sing out…

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 23
        Windrose permalink

        Holy Shatner!

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 23

          Haha, good use of Holy Shatner.

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 January 23
      Tacomagic permalink

      Dulcimer dice rolls
      For weapons of the old wars
      Juicy Griefling, why?

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 January 23
        Tacomagic permalink

        If Haiku, you can too!

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 23

          *snaps* Cool, man, cool!

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 23

        Haikus are easy
        But sometimes they don’t make sense
        Refrigerator

        Adores: 22
        • 2010 January 24
          Steve-O permalink

          HHNF, I got popped by Isaac for plagarising that very haiku. I guess if I can Google, he can too.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 24

          I briefly tried to track down the original source of this work but there are so many sites that pop up that the person who came up with it must be kicking him/herself for not copyrighting it.

          Yes I know that was a long, awkward sentence.

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 24

        Imitation, my dear, is the sincerest form of flattery. Or lack of creativity.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 24
          Steve-O permalink

          I agree. By the way, was that a jab at me about breathing your air yesterday, HHNF?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 24

          Yeah, Steve-O brings his own air wherever he goes.

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 24

        Just means that some people aren’t worth the same air that I breathe. Can’t believe you hadn’t heard it before. Not a real insult. If I didn’t like you, I’d drive the SpoCan’t and give you a good whack, haha!

        Adores: 0
  14. 2010 January 23
    Lola permalink

    Re: the third ad:
    Call Neri and offer him the hundred bucks to take your brother fishing. Worked for Michael Corleone. Mom doesn’t need to know.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 January 23
      Lola permalink

      I would like to point out that I think what appealed to me most about this post was that while he has the occasional typo and grammatical error, the passion and articulateness with which he expresses his seething hatred impresses me. On CL, as we all know, communicating properly happens less than one might expect.

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 January 23
        Ed Snyder permalink

        Turn the other cheek/turn a blind eye–same, same.

        Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 23
        Tacomagic permalink

        And, he properly used the word “too”.

        *Sniff* I’m OK, I’m OK. *Wipes tear from eye*

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 23
          Windrose permalink

          *hands TMSF a cuppa and pastry* We understand you!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 23
          Tacomagic permalink

          That sexy fingers thing is going to follow me around now isn’t it?

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 23
          Windrose permalink

          If I have anything to do with it, yes it will! 8)

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 23
          emesis permalink

          your sexy fingers can follow ME around, any time!

          Adores: 3
  15. 2010 January 23
    Bianchi Sound permalink

    Hey! Guy looking to have your drummer killed! You have no idea how good you have it.

    He shows up 20 minutes late? That’s 30 minutes early in drummer time. (Hell, it’s an hour early in Reggae drummer time!)

    He remembers to bring his drums?

    He has his own vehicle?

    He only smokes every 15 minutes?

    And he’ll actually play in your lame Air Supply/ Carpenters/ Ann Murray cover band?

    Dude, send this guy over…

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 January 23
      Tacomagic permalink

      I am tired of him showing up 20 minutes late…

      For a guy you don’t even want to be there in the first place, this seems like a good thing to me. If you change the time of rehearsals without telling him, I bet he’d stop showing up all together.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 23
        Bianchi Sound permalink

        Poster is a total rookie. Never tell the drummer the actual time for practice or gigs. Practice is at 8:00? Tell the drummer it’s at 7:00. And no, the drummer will never figure out you’re telling him the wrong time.

        Adores: 4
  16. 2010 January 23
    ToBScholarly permalink

    I think the first poster is pretty bossy. Make a offer indeed. Don’t tell me what to do mister!
    Although, due to the lack of exclamation point, I believe the poster is not forceful in his command. He is more subtle… perhaps to catch us off guard. His post, seemingly indistinct at first glance with its non-punctuation and dramatic one word title, embeds a subliminal desire in your mind until, hours/days/weeks later you cannot stand it anymore, you MUST give in and so you compulsively jump up in the middle of your office’s training seminar themed ‘Silence in the Workplace’ and scream, “YES! I DO want drums! I WILL make an offer!”

    Or perhaps he was too lazy to write anything else. Either way.

    Adores: 11
  17. 2010 January 23
    ToBScholarly permalink

    “Make a offer” may go down in history with other three word pop culture sayings like:

    Eat at Joe’s
    Sing a Song (with my nod to Karen Carpenter)
    and Push the Button (hello Chemical Brothers)

    I am sure there are many others but my brain’s OS is in Saturday mode so there will be no more commenting today. I may have to take a nap and reboot.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 January 25
      nowhere permalink

      Drop The Needle
      Suck My Kiss

      And many more on the pop-songs-with-demanding-three-word-titles compilation album from K-tel!

      Adores: 1
  18. 2010 January 23
    Tacomagic permalink

    Just remember people, nothing is funny about the D4.

    Caltrop of the gaming world.

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 January 23
      Bianchi Sound permalink

      “The D4″ is a cool band from New Zealand. If it’s also a D and D term, I don’t want to know. Because, frankly, it would ruin it for me.

      Adores: 1
  19. 2010 January 23
    Windrose permalink

    Just realized there was a third ad! I wonder what the name of the band could be? Fratricide Express?

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 January 23
      Tacomagic permalink

      “Little Drummer Boy Killers”

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 January 23
        Tacomagic permalink

        “We didn’t shoot the lead singer but we did shoot the drummer…”

        Adores: 5
    • 2010 January 23
      Lola permalink

      Maybe, but I’m thinking they might want something a little more wedding-friendly.
      “No Brother, No Cry”?

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 January 23
        Lola permalink

        For some reason, I keep getting “400 Bad Request – nginx” when I try to edit, but anyway: TM: + A Kajillion.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 23

          Racist!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 23

          I guess I’m the racist, now… I had the error but cleared my cache and restarted Firefox and it went away.

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 23

        Here comes Al *not her, the evil one!* to condemn and riot in protest against violence toward black drummers.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 23

          Ssshhh… we’re in a lot of trouble… Silva Noir is posting pictures of Not.a.Lions up there.

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 January 23
      Caro permalink

      Cain and Cain’t.

      Adores: 8
  20. 2010 January 23

    Where is this guy? $100.00 to kill someone? I made more than that per head in Sri Lanka. But he does say there’s good money in killing drummers there…

    *starts packing suitcase*

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 January 23
      Tacomagic permalink

      Don’t forget the duct tape.

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 January 23
      Bianchi Sound permalink

      Graham-

      Pack some porn (OK, more porn…), red and white paint, and an anvil. Paint a target. Suspend anvil over center of target. Put porn in center of target. Call over drummer. Release anvil.

      Done and done.

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 January 23

        Mmm… anvil kills are especially rewarding. Is there a chance that the porn may be damaged in this scheme? This guy doesn’t seem the type to pay for my damaged porn. Better take the old stuff. Doo doo do doo…

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 23
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          You may be able to get more than $100 from the guy. You know what they say: “Make a offer”

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 23

          Making a offer is an particularly effective method when neither party knows what the product is.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 23
          Addicted Reader permalink

          Surprises are always better. And worth a little extra money.

          Adores: 2
  21. 2010 January 23
    Charlene permalink

    The third ad is unnecessary. Nobody needs to be *paid* to kill a drummer.

    Adores: 7
  22. 2010 January 23
    Windrose permalink

    JuneJenny! You’re in the box, and lookin’ good! Come to the office for a nice punch, please.

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 January 23
      JuneJenny permalink

      Awww, thanks. My first time … *wipes away a tear*.

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 January 24
        Steve-O permalink

        My first time hurt a little bit and was really awkward.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 24

          Did you cry afterwards, too?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 24
          Steve-O permalink

          Like a babby.

          Adores: 9
  23. 2010 January 23
    Windrose permalink

    Sigh. Mid-day mostly and everyone is off doing stuff, or sleeping in some parts of the world. And it’s just me. Unless. . . Any lurkers out there? Hello! Don’t be shy! go ahead and post something! 8)

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 January 23
      Lola permalink

      Testing, testing. Can you hear me in the back?
      … What do you mean, “no”? If you can’t hear me, how do you know what I said? Dumbass.

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 January 23
        Bianchi Sound permalink

        WE READ YOUR LIPS!

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 23
          Lola permalink

          You’re a cat, Bianchi S. They can see in the dark but their eyesight at distance isn’t so great. Nice try.

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 January 23
      SilvaNoir permalink

      Uh, hey I’m a lurker. And I liked this site so much I drew a Not-A-Lion.

      http://silvanoir.deviantart.com/art/NotALion-151392173

      Adores: 29
      • 2010 January 23

        Oh, snap! YSaC has its own fan art now!

        Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 23

        Talent and awesomeness! You must join our hawt sect. The look on that Not. A. Lion’s face is just perfect. MOAR!!!!

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 23
          SilvaNoir permalink

          Aww, thanks *blushes*

          What other posts do you think could be turned into a good drawing?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 23

          There should be one with a human in furry rabbit form, clearly intoxicated, drooling over Deadpool while a thought-bubble over Deadpool’s head shows he is thinking of a geriatric woman playing T-ball.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 23

          HHNF: Haz you been hanging out on 4chan?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 January 23
          Ed Snyder permalink

          My request is a professor with a nametag that says “Corey” teaching his class about DA chassis.

          Adores: 5
      • 2010 January 23

        I am not the spokesbun for this site, but please look into our Forums and check out our list of Favorite Memes. You’ll get some interesting ideas.
        Lllama-nun is always a good one.
        You’re too talented to waste it on things like Monet or Picasso.

        Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 23
        Addicted Reader permalink

        Awesome drawing!

        Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 23

        Yes, because immortalizing my shame by posting it on the internet myself is never as good as having it turned into art, a meme, and endless humiliation by the recipient.
        I have never been so grateful for the death of my phone battery until this morning.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 23

          Dude, I totally left out the shameful part. And who said this was referring to you? It could be any drunk rabbit drooling over Deadpool.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 23
          Lola permalink

          We’ve all embarrassed ourselves from time to time. Just be grateful it wasn’t in person.
          *remembers incidents from long ago and far away, cringes slightly*

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 January 23

        Well, it’s a good thing I just outed myself since everyone else wouldn’t have been able to pick me out of the hordes of lustful bunnies at the Comic-con.
        Oooh, Lustful Bunnies= girly band name.

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 January 23

          I think you’re thinking of Anthro-con.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 23
          Lola permalink

          Considering what bunnies are known for, isn’t “lustful” a bit redundant?
          I’d still listen to them, regardless.

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 January 23
        Windrose permalink

        Hold on, my mind is *BOGGLE*ing. A furry not a lion in a not a tiger suit? LOL Wonderful! Hey, can you do a dead explorer? Partial to Balboa myself. Or the table of souls trying to get out of a hellmouth. I can just see all those skeletons being chibi and cute.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 23

          Give the poor girl some links… she might be new.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 23
          SilvaNoir permalink

          I’m still here. Just a little confused at the super-inside jokes.

          Balboa could be fun… when I was little and learned abut him in elementary school I couldn’t pronounce his name, and so called him A-bowl-a-ball. I could draw Balboa bowling.

          I’m also tempted to draw Cat Math, if I could only figure out how. (or maybe that’s the point)

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 23

          Silva, if you go back a day and scroll down towards the end, you’ll see Windrose make a comment about “consuming their love” and it pretty much went downhill from there.

          Frankly, I don’t know how Cat Math looks either. I imagine it as a cross between quantum mechanics, C++ programming, statistics, and nonsense. If you can make an equation where 4 = 6, then you’re on the right track.

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 23

        You must really draw a picture of a cotton-candy colored bunny clinging to a very confused and irritated Deadpool.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 23

          I think we scared her off. :(

          Was it my face? Man…

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 23

        Startling revelation: I talk too much. Poor new girl.
        We really need a group-organized hazing regimen for new kids.

        Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 23

        Never been to 4chan. The rumors frighten me. It’s like the bad part of town that your momma warns you about.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 23

          But it’s memetastic.

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 23
        Meredith permalink

        Flipping out over how cute that is. It’s about to be my computer background.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 23
          lareina permalink

          I love it. It’s so beautifully done, too! I kind of want a print now….

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 January 23
        Ed Snyder permalink

        That is brilliant. +1000 FTW.

        Adores: 3
      • 2010 January 23

        Yes, Silva, you might want to go back to yesterday…and the day before and suffer though the back-and-forth elementary conversations between Graham and I. If you think you can handle the oddness. And it’s okay. Cat Math is like God, in the way that people can guess what it looks like, and it’s awesome power, but can never quite grasp it. Just legend and short-fallings.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 23
          Addicted Reader permalink

          ::cough::between Graham and me::cough::

          Sorry, something in my throat.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 24
          emesis permalink

          If we’re going to start traveling through time again, HHNF might want to go back to yesterday, too…

          Adores: 5
      • 2010 January 24

        SilvaNoir — thank you for coming here and posting your work! It’s great — I love it! And I’m glad you’ve finally un-lurked yourself; I hope you’ll stick around and keep commenting.

        Adores: 2
  24. 2010 January 23
    Admiral Ackbar permalink

    It’s a trap!

    *crickets*

    Adores: 9
  25. 2010 January 23
    Cyrus permalink

    That third ad would be perfect for Project Rant.

    Adores: 2
  26. 2010 January 23

    The third ad’s drummer sounds like he has Illusions of Grandeur + 10 pants…

    Adores: 2
  27. 2010 January 23
    Meredith permalink

    :::stumbles in late, hoping no one will notice. But fails to realize that she walked in the side door right in front, rather than in the back:::

    Oh, uh, hey guys. Yeah, been a little busy today. I actually have a weekend off, and slept in till the ungodly late hour of 9:30 am! Then I spent it eating and being lazy. So, um….I have a note! My mom said it’s an excused absence.

    Third ad: written by Brennan from Step Brothers

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCGCj6xzPko

    That’s all I’ve got so far. Still in a lazy haze.

    Adores: 4
  28. 2010 January 23

    This is completely off topic, but…
    Yay for Awkward Apology and Grovelling Time!
    Hey, guys. Um, am I still welcome after last night? If not, I won’t cry. Much. This is why people who care about my dignity take my phone from me while at the pub.
    *quivering lip*
    Poor, poor Graham. He’s such a gentleman.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 January 23

      Last night?

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 January 23

      I’ll forgive you if you explain what “Minus whale be” means.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 23

        It means ‘without the fat chick’.
        Might as well. Similar to ‘bra bubbly’

        Adores: 1
  29. 2010 January 23
    Bianchi Sound permalink

    From urbandictionary.com:

    1. minus whale
    mid-2008 forum-speak substitution for ‘might as well’
    i’m bored and ready to go yasamehere minus whale then

    This didn’t really help.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 January 23

      Ohh… I get it now. That is the correct definition I was looking for. Thank you.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 23
        Bianchi Sound permalink

        So apparently HHNF was so drunk she ended up in mid-2008 last night. What a night!

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 January 23

          We did some time travel ourselves… must have been some rift in the space-time continuum.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 23
          Meredith permalink

          I just saw a commercial for “hot tub time machine”. I truly can’t believe there were people making movies who let someone in the office with that idea.

          But maybe, as evidenced by HHNF’s experience, it’s “based on actual events”.

          Maybe I missed it, but I thought she sounded basically the same as the rest of us. Which makes me worry that the rest of you are drunk all the time, and worried that I fit in so well, because I’m usually not.

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 January 23

        I found my acid re-flux capacitor.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 23

          Some jerk dumped Pepcid in mine and broke it.

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 23

        *sings Pepto song*
        Nostalgia, heartburn, indiscretion!

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 January 23

          Lulz!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 23
          Meredith permalink

          freakin love it!!!

          Adores: 2
  30. 2010 January 23

    What do the drums contain? Toxic waste? Moonshine? Pickles? Old bacon grease? Spanish galleons? Jimmy Hoffa’s body, pickled in moonshine?
    The possibilities are endless!

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 January 23

      The bodies of ‘missing’ drummers?!

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 23

        Erm, if you find any porn in the remains, I’d appreciate it back.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 23

          Here I am apologizing for being a space-port floozie last night, and you’re into furries, red mouthless dom latex, pron, masochism Vegas trips with transvestites *oh wait that was me*, necro and imprisoning old blind women.
          I won’t even go into your initials, DP.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 23

          1. It’s not about sex, it’s about power.

          2. What, pray tell, can you go into about my initials? (which really aren’t my initials at all, given that it’s ONE WORD… perhaps you have me confused with your hero, Spider-Man)

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 23

        I still see it as DP. And that is a topic I shall not discuss. Again. I don’t get the SM thing, seeing as it should be PM. My knowledge disturbs me. I’ll go take my pills now.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 23

          Eeexxxcellent.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 23
          Lola permalink

          Excuse me while I scrub my brain. I hadn’t thought about DP meaning that until now. The latex reference just emphasizes it.
          Of course, I’ve just stumbled back from dinner where our entire bar tab was comped. Boundaries and social mores are rather lower and less noticeable than usual.
          kv;soew/x,v

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 23

          I still have no idea what you fine folks think “DP” means.

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 23

        While I cannot believe for the life of me that you spend so much time on the devil box without knowing, I will tell you that it rhymes with ‘bubble preparation’.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 23

          Nuts, I guess that’s as close as I’ll come to getting you to say it. Bubble preparation is pretty good, though. I’ll just assume Lola was thinking the same thing.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 23
          Windrose permalink

          *GASP* Who told you? I mean, uh, nothing to see here. Move along. Move along.

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 23

        So, you know, but you want me to say it? Um, is there something we need to know?
        *waits patiently for you to try to save yourself*

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 23

          What, I can’t enjoy making you uncomfortable?

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 23

        I think that’s along the lines of something I mentioned up there.

        Adores: 0
      • 2010 January 23

        You mean sado-masochism? :P

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 23

          And at least one other subject.

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 24

        Imprisoning old blind women? Wait — ohhh. Hey, if you know what it is, you cannot judge me for knowing.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 24
          lareina permalink

          We may need to open up a forum section devoted to your interplay. A room, in other words…

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 January 24

          *ahem* Yes, sorry… thank you for the recommendation.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 24

          Thanks, Lareina.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 24

          http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?page_id=3282&vasthtmlaction=viewtopic&t=44.0

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 January 24
          lareina permalink

          Wow, OK, you actually…opened up a forum page. I was just trying to make a ‘get a room’ joke…clearly that didn’t work so well.

          HHFN, was the original version of your comment intended for me? Because I didn’t mean to offend you, honestly. I was just trying – wrongheadedly, clearly – to be funny.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 24

          It was edited for adult content. :P

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 24

          It was directed toward my comment about her being a hypocrite, you’re good, lareina — seriously, it was a good suggestion.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 24
          lareina permalink

          OK. Thanks, Graham. The last thing I want to do is upset people or disrupt the spontaneity of things around here!

          Adores: 3
    • 2010 January 23
      Windrose permalink

      Boas that were in the love seat, but decided to go somewhere quieter?

      Adores: 4
    • 2010 January 23
      Lola permalink

      Jimmy Hoffa, in toxic waste (if the drums are in New Jersey, naturally).

      Adores: 2
  31. 2010 January 23
    Windrose permalink

    OT except that it’s one of our memes: I just read this about Not. A. Lions:
    Tigers typically have rusty-reddish to brown-rusty coats, a whitish medial and ventral area, a white “fringe” that surrounds the face, and stripes that vary from brown or gray to pure black.

    Are they so rusty because they live in rain forrests?

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 January 23

      Maybe the Cowardly Not. A. Lion. could help him out with the oil can.
      I’m seeing a, ‘Run, Forrest, run!’ joke in here, and it’s just not forming in my mind.
      Did you see the Not. A. Lion. art that Silva Noir posted?

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 23
        Windrose permalink

        I did, but not till after I posted the above. She is totally awesome, unless she is a guy. Then HE is totally awesome. I think s/he should do a web comic about a group of commenters on a blog site like this one!

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 23

          *looks down* Yup, still a She. ;)

          Now I feel like I came here fishing for compliments, which I didn’t. You guys are so nice.

          As for webcomics, I’d rather just do single silly pictures here and there. I already have a webcomic, but it’s a serious one and proving to be way too much work.

          Adores: 4
  32. 2010 January 23
    Ellipses permalink

    Give you role play for a tamboreen
    Help a poor man fill his pretty dreem
    Hope you’re so desperate you’ll take anytheeng
    Then maybe I can play (play play play play)
    A green tamboreen…

    Adores: 7
  33. 2010 January 23
    Windrose permalink

    OMJ! Loved that song. The Lemon Pipers. Huh. I had to Google that, I thought it was Strawberry Alarm Clock, but it didn’t seem right. 8)

    Adores: 1
  34. 2010 January 23
    Windrose permalink

    Silvia, here is your assignment. Go to the very first post on this site, read all the posts and comments. Report back here when finished. 8)

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 January 23

      I actually did that a couple of weeks ago, but I can’t remember everything. I came here trough a link on LovelyListing, about the not.a.lions

      The guy trying to sell his truck full of bees remains my favorite post.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 January 23

        “trough”, and before “abut”. I was just criticizing someone yesterday about not relying on spell check alone, to proofread… ah well… *leans up against a horse like it was totally on purpose*

        I need to go get myself an avatar now, not digging this little lemon quilt square…

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 23

          http://en.gravatar.com — use the same email address you use for here.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 23
          Windrose permalink

          Graham, you must be getting rich with all the business you send to Gravitar!

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 23

          It just hurts my soul to see those geometric avatars.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 23
          Lola permalink

          I actually like the fact that they look like quilts … but not enough to keep mine.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 23

          OK, done. It’s a picture a friend drew for me actually, and that I colored. A cutsey white rat holding a yellow umbrella. Shows up for me. Everyone else?

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 23
          Lola permalink

          Yes. Too cute!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 23
          Windrose permalink

          Just enough cuteness, however, to off set Deadpool. And since no one asked, my new avatar is my love bird Viola, she of the purple feathers. She came to me just weaned, but decided to regress and take some baby food for a few days. Even though she has a mate now, Jimi Purple Haze, and gets her free flight time with the whole flock, she has stayed very tame. If I stick my finger in her cage, she will come sit on it. And when she is out and I walk by, she has to land on my head and talk to me for a while. She’s one of three special birds in my life right now.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 24

          There’s baby food for birds? Do you have to chew it up and spit it in their mouths?

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 23

        She is very cute. The look on her face matches the one I have when I read the submissions. ‘Whut is rong with teh hoomans?’

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 24
          Windrose permalink

          Graham, no, I don’t have to chew or spit. I don’t think I would raise baby birds if I had to do that. The baby food is actually called hand feeding formula.

          HHNF, Thanks, I think she is saying, Why can’t you get the food here faster?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 24

          Darn, that would be awesome.

          Adores: 1
  35. 2010 January 23

    Umm, does anyone know a site that will randomly generate a bunch of pseudo-technical corporate jargon? It doesn’t have to make sense.

    Adores: 0
  36. 2010 January 24
    Claigsrist permalink

    Over time, I got to wondering if this wasn’t meant to be a complete sentence.

    Drums make an offer.
    Drums make an offer that can’t be beat.

    Adores: 3
  37. 2010 January 27
    bradlea permalink

    -3 points for getting the quote wrong!

    Adores: 0
  38. 2010 January 27
    Claigsrist permalink

    +5 points to bradlea for knowing the reference, but -10 points for missing the pun (drum..beat…).

    Adores: 0
  39. 2010 February 9
    Rhiannon permalink

    Great, I just woke the baby up laughing at this ad. Maybe I can hire that drummer to put her back to sleep… on second thought, maybe not.

    Adores: 0

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