YSaC, Vol. 557: Spare the wrought and spoil the child.

2010 January 25
by drmk

You know how people tell you “sound it out” when you’re a kid and don’t know how to spell something? That’s not always a good idea, because we end up with adults spelling things like this:

Coffee Table + 2 End Tables – Rod Iron w/Glass Tops

wrot iron set – $150

rot iron swivel bar stools – $55

3 Wrightiron Pendent lamps

What? What’s that you say? They’re not Wrightiron? Well, then, clearly they must be:

HEAVY WRONG IRON BAR STOOLS – $150

Of course they are.

Thanks to Katharine, Christine, pointyjess, Thaddeus, and Michaela for these shining examples of phonics inaction. (And pointyjess gets her own tag as a repeat offender submitter with this one! It’s PJ, to match the others.)

PS: See the adorable Not.A.Lion image in the “Don’t Suck” box over to the right? Thanks to SilvaNoir, that’s available on t-shirts and mugs now, over at the YSaC store at Printfection. Thanks, SilvaNoir!

217 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 January 25
    Lara permalink

    I would like to meet this Rod Iron. He sounds…interesting.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 January 25
      PrincessLuceval permalink

      That is totally a porn name. Now appearing opposite Glass Tops.

      Adores: 18
      • 2010 January 25
        Lola permalink

        Thank you – I am apparently not the only one whose brain went “there.”

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 January 25
          Lara permalink

          My brain always goes “there.” And Happy Birthday late Lola and sarajean, I couldn’t get on yesterday but I remembered. Maybe my Happy Birthday early Drum set will make up for it.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 January 25
          tacomagic permalink

          I was thinking more along the lines of super manly names:

          Dirk Tungsten
          Butch Deadlift
          Punch Rockgroin
          Gristle McThornbody
          Lump Beefbroth
          Big McLargehuge

          Adores: 13
        • 2010 January 25
          sarajean80 permalink

          how about;

          Rocky Beefcake
          Spanky McBottom
          Sparky Everlast

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25
          Lara permalink

          I really really like Punch Rockgroin. That is a truly awesome porn star name.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 January 25
          Lola permalink

          We have some fairly excellent free coffee at work, so I don’t go to the coffeeshop all that often, but I might if Big McLargehuge were working there.
          *fans self*
          I’ve dated a few of that sort.
          *fans self more*

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 25

          No need to brag there, missy! πŸ˜›

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 25
          Lola permalink

          Lareina – note use of past tense. *sighs*

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25
          Heather permalink

          Seems like someone’s been watching some MST3K…I’m looking at you, tacomagic.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 January 25
          tacomagic permalink

          *Whistles innocently*

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 25

          I’m going to have to forward this post to my co-worker, Dick Lovingood.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 January 25

          … and my co-worker, Link Hogthrob.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 January 25
          Windrose permalink

          Not to go all Corey on anyone, but I like the fact that Mc indicates son of, so we have Big, son of Largehuge. 8) *giggle*

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 25

          Israeli body builder Schlomo Ben-Largehuge.
          Saudi body builder Mahmud ibn-Largehuge.
          Norwegian body builder Swen Largehugessen.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25

          Great, now I’m gonna have to watch the Space Mutiny episode of MST3k tonight.

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 January 25
        sarajean80 permalink

        And they will be performing at the Coffee Table, which sounds like a combination strip club and coffee shop in this context.
        They will be dancing on the 2 end tables across from the milk foamer (that now sounds much dirtier).

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 25
          Lola permalink

          “Would you like your milk aerated, sir?”
          “Can I watch?”
          “Yes, but that’s extra.”

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 January 25
          sarajean80 permalink

          “You want whipped cream with that? I don’t do that, but Mistress Raquel will help you with your order.”

          All I can think about now is the movie Idiocracy. I can’t go by a Starbuck’s without giggling.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 25
          Lara permalink

          wow. The coffee shop just got so much sexier. I may need to wear dark glasses and a large hat the next time I go there to avoid being recognized. Don’t even get started on the scones. 0_0

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 25
          tacomagic permalink

          Do you want whipped cream on that?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25
          sweetbiscuit21 permalink

          Hey fellow Aquarians, happy belated b’day.

          Re “combination strip club and coffee shop” – we have them here in Santiago – Cafe con Piernas.
          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHjih8qr0pY

          TM, this seems right down your alley!

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 25

          Maybe it’s just me, but strip club + coffee shop just sounds like a recipe for scaldings in deeply inconvenient places.

          Not exactly the kind of red-hot lovin’ I’d be after…

          Adores: 14
        • 2010 January 25
          tacomagic permalink

          I don’t know need to be at a strip club to scald my naughty bits. I have one of those plug-in mugs for the car that does a fantastic job of that when I try to carry it on top of 3 boxes of pizza.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 25
          tacomagic permalink

          My morning coffee just arrived. Maybe now I’ll stop adding random words to my barnicle sentences.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 January 25
          sarajean80 permalink

          Next up on the YSaC Winter Concert Series – Big McLargehuge and The Red-Hot Lovin’ playing hits from their latest album, Scaldings in Deeply Inconvenient Places.

          Adores: 13
        • 2010 January 26
          Windrose permalink

          Lareina, it’s just you. 8)

          Adores: 0
  2. 2010 January 25

    The obvious solution to this problem is for us to go back to Middle-English pronunciation schemes for words like wrought and knight. Then we’d have no problem with the phonics-educated, because they’d need every letter to spell w-roggghht and kuh-niggghh-t.

    Of course, then we’d all sound like we were choking on something, and this might (miggght) result in some unnecessary Heimlich maneuvers. But improved spelling will not come without a price.

    Adores: 14
    • 2010 January 25
      Lara permalink

      I love Middle-English because there was no standard way to spell anything. Craigslist is basically built on that principle. Actually I would argue that Middle-English was very phonetically based, everybody just talked like a walrus under water a la Rush Limbaugh (Thank You Chris Matthews where ever you are). Hard Ball hee hee

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 January 25
        tacomagic permalink

        I’m pretty sure that the entire cyber age is built on the Middle-English principle. You need only look at texting and Hannah Montana forums for that one.

        Note: I know about the Hannah Montana forums through my wife, who worked for Disney’s tech support for several years.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 25
          Lara permalink

          I’m glad you included that note Taco, I was going to be extremely worried/frightened.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 25
          tacomagic permalink

          Figured I’d nip that one in the bud.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25
          sarajean80 permalink

          Aww, you’re no fun.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 25
          tacomagic permalink

          I got a sudden shiver up my spine when I thought about getting quoted for the first half of that declarition but without the note at the end.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 25
          Lola permalink

          Great! I can’t wait for the Great Virtual Vowel Shift.

          /nerdery

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 25

          My predction is tht the Great Vrtual Vowl Shft will be a shift awy frm th use of vowls in mny cases.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 25
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          Ah, nothing like a good Vowel Movement.

          Adores: 19
    • 2010 January 25

      I now have John Cleese as the French Knight from ‘Holy Grail’ in my head, yelling abuse at the English kuhh-nigghts.

      “Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person!”

      (Not you, Isaac! Or you, tacomagic!)

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 25

        “Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!”
        “I fart in your general direction.”

        Ah yes, nothing like Monty Python on a cool January morn’. Beats the hell out of the Dora I have going for my kids. *thinking she is lucky she has no guns, else the un-dulcet tones of Dora the Explorer would drive me over the edge!*
        Wait, what was I talking about? Maybe I need some of that overwrought iron.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 25

          Awww, it could be worse. It could be Barney!

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 25
          sarajean80 permalink

          That sort of programming is why there are age restrictions and waiting periods for handguns or I would have done an Elvis to the TV the first time I was forced to endure the Teletubbies.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 25

          :::Shudder::: There are limits to my tolerance. Teletubbies and Barney are not allowed in my house. Dora is marginal, and I can only take a —–><—— small amount.
          As of now my head is pounding and she is about to be replaced by something–anything–else.
          Has anyone noticed how she! does! not! talk! She! yells! everything! That! is! so! annoying!

          If I didn’t think it would give nightmares or get Children’s Services called on me, I might just dust off the Grail. Been a while since I have seen that…

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25
          sweetbiscuit21 permalink

          our programming here has Lazytown, followed by Barney – if I don’t notice that Lazytown has finished, my 4-year-old comes running in saying “Mummy, Barney’s on – you hate Barney”. I’ve got him trained well!

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 January 25

          *ugh* Barney . . . (one of) the most annoying creatures ever invented.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25
          tacomagic permalink

          You people have obviously never been forced to watch an episode of “The Backyardigans.” I was within a hairbredth of committing retualistic Seppuku after about 10 minutes of that horrible show.

          I never thought I’d pine to see a boring guy in a cardigan on TV.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 January 25
          sweetbiscuit21 permalink

          Yes TM, they are very annoying, but it’s the plastic automatons posing as children on Barney that really make me want to vomit. That and the Canadian High-Five, just a bit too “perky” for morning television as far as i’m concerned.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 January 25
          sarajean80 permalink

          I know them well, I’ve nightmares featuring that purple spotted thing chasing me through a forest singing songs about sharing.
          :::shudder:::
          It’s like the headless horseman, but with poorly thought out rhythm.

          The worse of the current crop is Yo Gabba Gabba! That red thing with the bumps that looks like a…marital aid gives me the “willies”.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25

          Actually, sarajean, the dildo guy is based off of an Aquabats character who is… a dildo.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 25
          sarajean80 permalink

          I could have lived a full, happy life without knowing that there was really such a cartoon character. Thanks so much for that.

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 25

        I’m with TM, the Backyardigans are the syrup of ipecac of children’s television, closely followed by Dragon Tales. I hate it when Spongebob ends and there’s nothing left but this sort of dreck. You can’t even make snarky comments when you’re watching with a five year old.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25
          Lola permalink

          I have no children, and I don’t watch television with them with any frequency. My exposure is limited, but I can say with certainty that for reasons I do not really understand, the simple construction of the name “The Backyardigans” makes me twitch and growl in a manner that apparently unnerves anyone near.
          I like cute animals, but my tolerance for child-related twee-ness is minimal. Whither Reading Rainbow? They took it off of the air.
          *sniff*

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 25
          sarajean80 permalink

          Consider yourself blessed to have missed them, they are CGI animals who sing and go on insipid imaginary adventures that would have any sane parent calling for a psychologist. I have a theory that the producers leave leaking canisters of nitrous oxide in the writers’ room so they can come up with the stuff without committing suicide.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 25
          Lola permalink

          I’d rather have kids watching some of that HR Pufnstuf/Sid & Marty Kroft material. At least there, particularly due to the vintage, you pretty much know that recreational drugs were involved, and can probably guess what they are. And then, when the children are a little older, refer to them as an object lesson …

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25
          sarajean80 permalink

          I was babysitting my nieces the other day and they wanted to watch The Banana Splits. They knew the (admittedly uncomplicated) theme song by heart. It was trippy and a little weird.
          They don’t like Bugs Bunny and the rest of the Looney Toons though, which is close to sacrilege for me.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 25
          tacomagic permalink

          I’m collecting episodes of 3-2-1 Contact for the mini-taco. That show was like cocain for me as a kid. Probably one of the reasons I grew up to be an engineer… and a geek.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25
          Addicted Reader permalink

          3-2-1 contact was AWESOME! Probably also contributed to my interest in science. And Square One.

          Where are you getting the episodes?

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 25
          sarajean80 permalink

          Mini-taco might be a bit young now, but if you can find them the Connections series with James Burke are terrific, I loved those when I was little but they are incredibly hard to find.(At least around here they are)

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 25
          Ed Snyder permalink

          My vote for the most awesome children’s show on TV is Phineas and Ferb. Everyone in my house enjoys it.

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 25

        See, I like the Backyardigans. *ducks and runs for cover*
        Better than some of the other options out there.
        BUT I compleeeetly agree about the YoGabbaGabba. Dis-turb-ing!! That host guy is way too perky.
        My kids get a good dose of anime. We just finished watching My Neighbor Totoro–it is enough to remove the Dora taint in my ears.
        My kids don’t really like Looney Tunes either. What is wrong with kids today?
        …did you ever notice, though, how violent those cartoons are? Sheesh! If I were a prude, I probably wouldn’t let my kids watch them anyway. Luckily, I am not. Now hand me the damn Cowboy BeBop and the popcorn. Thanks!

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 25

          The Tick and Total Drama Island are my cartoons, followed closely bu Puka and Chowder. I used to use my 9 yr old as an excuse, and now I just embarrass her by watching them while her friends are here. Judge me. I dare you.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 25
          sarajean80 permalink

          No judging, The Tick is awesome!

          Adores: 3
    • 2010 January 25
      Windrose permalink

      I had a great opportunity once to hear a scholar read from a beautiful copy of Chaucer’s Tales (we were actually there to see some really old medieval books, it took my breath away to see a Book of Hours from way back) in the Middle English. He could actually read it just by looking at it! I was amazed. I guess I still am. Wish I remembered his name.

      In spite of that, I keep reading Middle Earth whenever someone is typing Middle English. D’Oh!

      Adores: 1
  3. 2010 January 25
    Lola permalink

    I’m just glad it’s not overwrought iron. That stuff is tacky, ostentatious, and emotionally high-maintenance.

    As for the rot iron – that’s called rust. Don’t try to fool me.

    Adores: 17
    • 2010 January 25
      sarajean80 permalink

      Maybe it was overwrought and all those salty tears left it with rust streaks. That’s what happens when you spend too much time at the bar.

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 January 25
        tacomagic permalink

        Well you’ll just have to practice tough love and let it sort itself out. There’s no better way to steel it against the other disappointments life will throw its way.

        Given some time to think, I’m sure it’ll become hardened by the ordeal.

        Adores: 9
        • 2010 January 25
          sarajean80 permalink

          But the damage has been done and cannot be repaired. Oh, with time you may scour away the traces, but they will be left with a subtle weakness as if their very chemical composition has been changed.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 25
          tacomagic permalink

          Maybe seeing a psychologist will help temper away these weaknesses. I’m told that if you get this kind of help it can fire you up and bring back that healthy glow.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 25
          Steve-O permalink

          Maybe there was an illness in the family and they had to get rid of the ornamental iron. My clinical observation is tensile-itis.

          *I know it was a stretch.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25
          sarajean80 permalink

          Might be anemia.

          Adores: 2
  4. 2010 January 25
    sarajean80 permalink

    Seriously, how difficult is it to use spell-check? You can download Firefox for free and it has one built into the browser.

    It is things like this that make me want to circulate a petition requiring a remedial spelling test to log onto the internet. If you don’t pass then no Twitter for you!

    I Can Has Cheezburger would be out of business in a week.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 January 25
      tacomagic permalink

      Srsly, da red unnerline is 4 reel?! Lulz, i ignorz it anywayz.

      pwnd!!!11!!1

      (I haven’t done that for a while. My fingers are cramping up something awful.)

      Adores: 3
    • 2010 January 25
      Lara permalink

      I love I Can Has Cheezburger but the lolspeak used in the comments and forums makes my eyes bleed.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 25
        tacomagic permalink

        Yeah, I think I only visited the comments area once on ICHC. That was enough to scare me away permanently.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 25

          Love ICHC. Never read the comments. Ever!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25
          sweetbiscuit21 permalink

          OK, I had a look at that site for the first time…..Can someone explain to me why the cats on ICHC can’t spell? They’d be just a cute and funny if they could? Or do I need to get my funny-bone tuned?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 January 25

          I Can Haz Cheezburger was a meme started on 4chan. 4chan memes often revolve around mocking the influx of 14-year-old girls and illiterates getting on the Internet, and ICHC was no different. It’s spun off into its own movement, but it’s basically still mocking the baby-talk txting shorthand/illiterate spelling of those groups.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25
          sarajean80 permalink

          Congratulations on winning these corey credits.

          Hands over corey credits

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 January 25

          Dammit, I told you I’m broken today.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 25

          I knew you were Graham moonlighting as Wade moonlighting as Deadpool, but Corey? I’m going to have to drag you back to the nice doctors in the white suits, aren’t I? Come on, get in the van. Don’t make me get the muzzle.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 25
          tacomagic permalink

          Things are quickly getting kinky between Graham and HHNF.

          *flees*

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25

          It was an honest mistake… I was just trying to help explain the joke… what are you doing with that huge butterfly net… NOOOO!!!

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 25
          sweetbiscuit21 permalink

          Thanks GrahamT. I appreciate it, and hey, you finally got a date with HHNF out of it πŸ˜‰

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 25

          Afraid not, sweetbiscuit, that would be a violation of the terms of our non-relationship. That and I’m scared of her.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 25

          Sweetbiscuit, I would never date Graham. Figs are harder and do more damage.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25

          See what I mean?

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 25
        sarajean80 permalink

        I automatically correct the captions in my head. I’ve never braved the forums, my head would most likely begin to melt.

        The idea of the largely adult (and possibly prodominantly female) membership speaking like brain-addled preschoolers is not cute, it’s just sad.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 25
          tacomagic permalink

          You know the scene where they open the Ark at the end of the first Indiana Jones movie…

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 25
          Lara permalink

          I agree with you sarajean, it is sad. I don’t automatically correct the captions usually because generally its not very hard to tell what they are saying. The people in the forums, however, have such a loose grasp on the English language that a little bit of my soul dies every time I see the comments. I can’t even decipher most of them. I avoid at all costs scrolling down far enough to see those comments because Craigslist already eats my soul. My soul is tasty and goes well with fava beans and a nice Chianti.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 January 25
          sarajean80 permalink

          I traded bits of my soul for cigarettes in the yard.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 25
          Lola permalink

          But Sarajean, do you always speak completely correct English, in a normal, adult tone, to your cats? My guiltiness of that is why I feel I can’t point fingers at ICHC. On the other hand, I, too, never read the comments. I don’t think I’d live.

          My soul? Traded it for a kiss.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25
          sarajean80 permalink

          I’ve never used babytalk (or “babbytalk”) to my cats. I talk to them like regular people, thus solidifying my chances for Crazy Cat Lady status.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25

          http://xkcd.com/231/

          Cat proximity!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25
          sarajean80 permalink

          I have that one printed out and stuck to the side of my desk.

          Less I seem like some sort of robot,I will “Ohh” and “Aww” over strange kittens, puppies, and babies, but not to the point of speaking as if I’ve recently suffered major head trama.
          I seem somewhat immune to my own furry lumps of kryptonite, possibly from long term exposure.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 25
          sarajean80 permalink

          Gaah! Stupid edit feature. That should be “Lest” not “Less”.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 January 25
          Lola permalink

          Mine isn’t so much baby talk as a kind of pidgin. No, I don’t know why. Logically, they are just as uncomprehending of any language, regardless of complexity. They know their names, and will react to “NO.” I cannot and do not expect more.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 25
          sarajean80 permalink

          Firefly thinks “No!” means “Climb up my leg!” and “Get down,dammit!” means “Climb higher!”, other than that they ignore almost everything I say.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25
          Steve-O permalink

          I lost my soul in a fiddling contest.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 25
          sarajean80 permalink

          Couldn’t quite get that fiddle of gold, hmmm?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 25

          I thought Steve-O lived in Washington, not Georgia.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 25
          Lola permalink

          Idaho, to be precise, and having also lived in the panhandle a loooooong time ago, I can verify that the devil was there, too. Or maybe that was just my babysitter’s Hell’s Angelic husband. I used to get them confused. They both scared me.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 25
          Windrose permalink

          SaraJean, you typed prodominantly instead of predominantly, which makes me think they are professional dominatrices that comment there. 8) Just saying.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25
          Lola permalink

          Pro doms who secretly like baby-talking cats? I love it.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 26
          sarajean80 permalink

          Whoopsie, I didn’t even see that. Stupid glass house, where did all these stones come from?

          Adores: 3
  5. 2010 January 25
    Camille permalink

    What hath Craigslist wrought?

    Adores: 12
    • 2010 January 25
      Bianchi Sound permalink

      What hath craigslist not rot?

      Adores: 7
  6. 2010 January 25
    tacomagic permalink

    I hate it when my iron spoils. You buy stuff with a decent freshness date and then you forget about it in the back of the garage. Then you’re out there building an Ottoman to go with all the French Prudential furniture you just bought and realize you’re hungry. And what do you find in your iron pile? Rotten iron, all covered with bugs and smelling like somebody rubbed their old sweat socks all over it.

    That’s why I invented no-rot iron tupperware! Yes, keep your iron rot-free!* Comes in many sizes and shapes to accomidate your daily iron needs. Call now and we’ll throw in this DVD rewinder absolutely free!

    *Does not work on stainless steel as the preservatives can harm the plastic.

    Adores: 8
    • 2010 January 25
      sarajean80 permalink

      Wouldn’t it be tacoware or magicware? You don’t want a case of copyright infringment to eat up your potential millions.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 25
        Bianchi Sound permalink

        SexyFingersWare, I believe.

        Adores: 7
        • 2010 January 25
          sarajean80 permalink

          I think they have a line of mugs at the Coffee Table.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 25
          Lola permalink

          Also, a line of SexyFingers Wear for sale in the back.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 January 25
          emesis permalink

          Definitely, be ware of sexyfingers. Damn sneaky things.

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 January 25
      Lara permalink

      Can I be the first to hold a party with your no-rot iron tupperware? Is the tupperware itself iron? If so I will need to reinforce the kitchen floor.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 25
        tacomagic permalink

        It’s actually made of something we call a polymer. Much better than most materials this “polymer” is light, resilient, and dishwasher safe.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25
          sarajean80 permalink

          Top or bottom rack? I wouldn’t want it to get all warped and twisted. Not until the yard sale, anyway.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 25
          Lola permalink

          Given the way this thread was going above, I think the big rack on top is probably the correct place.

          Adores: 5
    • 2010 January 25
      Lola permalink

      I love the sneaky uselessness of the seemingly-good deal on the DVD “rewinder.” That’s just the awesome sauce on the tasty serving of snark.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 January 25
        tacomagic permalink

        And here I thought nobody had noticed.

        Thanks Lola, it helps to know that my little sprinklings of flavour are indeed understood and appreciated.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 25
          Lola permalink

          Growing up with my dad taught me, by observation/osmosis, that most “fantastic,” “but wait, there’s more!” deals are not usually as great as they sound. While the word was unknown to me, I absorbed snark before I was old enough to read the quickly-flashed small print on the TV ads. And then learned to read it closely once I was literate.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 25
          sarajean80 permalink

          It made me remember a slightly stupid thing from my childhood.
          My very first time listening to a CD by myself, I tried to turn it over halfway through so I could listen to the other side.

          Adores: 3
  7. 2010 January 25
    Lara permalink

    I just love that last one. They knew they weren’t going to spell it right so they just gave up completely and went with wrong iron. If its the wrong iron, why would I want it? Or does it have sort of a bad boy appeal? Like I always date the wrong guy for me and I always buy the wrong iron.

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 January 25
      tacomagic permalink

      Maybe two wrong irons make a…

      naw.

      Adores: 6
    • 2010 January 25
      Dan permalink

      I think a wrong iron is a good choice for that bunker on the 3rd fairway.

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 January 25
        tacomagic permalink

        I usually use the wight iron for that one. More loft.

        Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 26
        Mimi permalink

        Thanks Dan. I was hoping someone would make a golf joke. I knew one was lurking around, I just couldn’t lasso it.

        Adores: 0
  8. 2010 January 25
    mudslicker permalink

    Hey Hey My My…..must be the story of Johnny Wrotten.

    It’s better to burn out, than it is to rust so buy my tables quick!

    As an aside:

    What noise do rot iron swivel bar stools make?

    “SQUEAK! SQUEAK! CRACK!”

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 January 25
      Lara permalink

      rot iron bar stools sound like a good way to get lockbutt instead of lockjaw.

      Adores: 7
  9. 2010 January 25
    Texchanchan permalink

    I want a rot-iron automonn.

    Adores: 2
  10. 2010 January 25
    Maddie permalink

    oh yay! my favorite misspelling from even before I stumbled across YSAC! rod and rot were always my favorite, but wrong and wright are good too.

    Adores: 1
  11. 2010 January 25
    SpaceAged permalink

    I thought the first one was some type of math equation.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 January 25
      tacomagic permalink

      Coffee Table + 2 End Tables – Rod Iron w/Glass Tops = Firewood.

      Adores: 8
  12. 2010 January 25

    There is a (John) Wright Iron company that makes wrought iron products, so I’m kinda surprised we haven’t heard from a Corey.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 January 25
      sarajean80 permalink

      I think we just did β™₯

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 January 25

        πŸ™‚

        Then I want Corey Creds!

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25
          sarajean80 permalink

          hands over corey credits

          Would you like fries with that?

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 January 25
      Bianchi Sound permalink

      I need some wrought iron, where should I go?

      I’d go to the Wright Wrought Iron shop.

      That’s what I want to do.

      Then go to the Wright place.

      Exactly. So where should I go?

      To get wrought iron?

      Yes.

      To the Wright shop.

      That’s what I’m trying to find out. Where is the right shop?

      On The Wrong Way.

      I go down the wrong way to get to the right shop?

      Now you’ve got it. When you get there, tell the owner I sent you. We used to play baseball together.

      What’s his name?

      I Don’t Know

      Adores: 18
      • 2010 January 25

        Third Base!

        Adores: 7
      • 2010 January 25
        mudslicker permalink

        Was the Wright Wrought Iron Shop in Niagra Falls?

        “Slowly I turn…step by step….”

        Adores: 2
  13. 2010 January 25
    JuneJenny permalink

    Sigh. This kind of thing makes me wonder whether it’s possible that these people have never actually read written English. A book, a newspaper, a magazine … anything? Do they look at the words “wrought iron” and think, “Now what the f_ck is THAT!?!”?

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 January 25

      No, they probably think it’s a heavy-duty iron they use at laundromats for bedspreads and curtains.

      Adores: 3
  14. 2010 January 25
    Kiraela permalink

    I figure, they complain about the fact that it’s heavy, it’s the ‘wrong’ iron, they’re shouting… Maybe they wanted Aluminum bar stools instead, but didn’t know what to call it?

    Adores: 1
  15. 2010 January 25
    Heather permalink

    I love furniture math!

    1 french preventional dresser
    +2 rod irons with glass tops
    _______________________
    3 pieces of crap to sell on Craigslist

    edit: damn, beaten.

    Adores: 2
  16. 2010 January 25

    I think my snark receptors are burned out… I can’t get excited about rod iron today. πŸ™

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 January 25
      tacomagic permalink

      Maybe it’s because Bea Arthur didn’t win the sexiest woman on TV award?

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 25

        As far as I’m concerned, she did.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25
          mudslicker permalink

          Only in your cardboard cutout dreams Graham….hehe.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25

          Did you hear what she said, Bea? http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=2306

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 January 25
          mudslicker permalink

          Got that one bookmarked, eh Graham? *snot chuckle*

          That was like a gazillion posts ago!

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 25

          I know. Damn waste of a good Bea Arthur cutout.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25
          mudslicker permalink

          only at YSaC will the words in this exact configuration:

          *Damn waste of a good Bea Arthur cutout*

          make TOTAL sense.

          Adores: 7
    • 2010 January 25
      sarajean80 permalink

      Maybe you just need some coffee to perk you up.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 25

        I took my caffeine pills as soon as I got up this morning, but they don’t seem very effective so far.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 25

          I always manage to bring the dork out. So, uh, here I am…and stuff.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 25
          tacomagic permalink

          There is something vaguely sexual about “bringing the dork out.”

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 25

          Haayeaah who let the dorks out… Dammit. It’s like trying to get the Millenium Falcon working today. Can someone punch me in the instrument panel?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 25

          I’m really not trying to ruin everyone’s comments today. It might kill me, but I’m trying to stay clean. Sharts, I already ruined it way up there.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 25
          tacomagic permalink

          *Pours fruit punch down Graham’s pants*

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 January 25

          Percussion treatment always works best. Just ask the fudgicle machine at work. We just have to shake our fists at it and it starts working. it also leaves a puddle of antifreeze on the floor, but intimidation is better than incarceration.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 25

          I guess I deserved that. Thanks TM. πŸ™‚

          Adores: 0
  17. 2010 January 25
    InsideJoke permalink

    I used to come to this website for the laughs, then the decline of the English language began to depress me.

    Now, I come to the website to laugh my way out of depression.

    Adores: 6
  18. 2010 January 25
    Traveler permalink

    Rot iron sounds like a pretty useful D&D spell. Much better than the -3 Tambourine of the Talentless Girlfriend from two days ago, at least.

    Adores: 10
    • 2010 January 25
      sarajean80 permalink

      “Rot Iron” would only be useful if you were up against someone with iron or steel weaponry, not those dang elves everyone seems to favor. “Summon Tarrasque” would be pretty useful, if you could get rid of the thing after it ate your enemies(and assorted scenery).

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 January 25
      tacomagic permalink

      I give to you the +1 of witty commentary. Wield it well, Knight.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 January 25
        sarajean80 permalink

        I prefer being a rogue, you get to do sneaky things and blame them on your class.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 25
          tacomagic permalink

          Remember: Rogues do it from behind.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 January 25
          sarajean80 permalink

          And rangers prefer to do it outside.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25
          tacomagic permalink

          Barbarians do it with two hands.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25
          sarajean80 permalink

          Wizards have to study and rest before doing it.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 25
          tacomagic permalink

          Bards do it with their mouth.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 25
          sarajean80 permalink

          Monks can do it barehanded.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25
          tacomagic permalink

          Paladins do it good.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25
          sarajean80 permalink

          Clerics do it with prayer.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25
          tacomagic permalink

          Druids do it with plants.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 25

          If Bianchi were here, he would so tell you guys to get a room.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 25
          tacomagic permalink

          C-C-C-C-Combo Breaker!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 25
          sarajean80 permalink

          Ahem…Sorcerers do it without armor πŸ™‚

          That’s about it for me anyway, I can’t think of anymore classes without cheating and looking them up.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 25
          tacomagic permalink

          The only other one I had was:

          Assasins do it quietly in the dark.

          And the one I couldn’t use because I was blocked:

          Clerics do it to the dead.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 25
          sarajean80 permalink

          Nice! I couldn’t figure out how to delicately phrase the cleric ability to raise the dead, so I took the easy way out.

          I had one non-class one;
          Kobolds like to jump you in groups.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 25
          tacomagic permalink

          Technically kobold could be a monster class.

          Just sayin’.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25
          sarajean80 permalink

          πŸ™‚

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25
          Lola permalink

          D&D peeps: get a … room of holding, or something.

          *scuttles away, feeling not quite dorkish enough – a rare feeling*

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 25
          sarajean80 permalink

          It’s a bag of holding…Ummm, I mean…I have no idea what you are talking about.

          goes to hide Player’s Handbook and Monster Manual

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25
          tacomagic permalink

          I think we might have exposed ourselves Sarajean.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 25
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          Thanks for covering for me, Graham.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25

          It’s called a magic satchel, people!
          Eww, tacomagic sexyfingers exposed himself. *giggles*

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 January 25

          How do you say “sex offender” in Dungeons and Dragons language?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 25
          sarajean80 permalink

          O dear, now I will have to turn in my Secret Gaming Geek Society membership card and magic decoder ring.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 25

          We just call sex offenders ‘tacomagic’.

          Adores: 5
    • 2010 January 25

      Or you could just put a rust monster on a leash.

      Adores: 1
  19. 2010 January 25

    Is Rot Iron the illegitimate love-child of Rod Stewart and Axl Rose?

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 January 25
      Lola permalink

      One can always hope (or fear, depending).

      Adores: 2
  20. 2010 January 25

    Hi gang,

    have I missed much? Will I be here all night reading it all?

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 January 25
      Lola permalink

      Hi dev! Wondered where you’d gotten to. You missed … some serious babbling last week. And some good stuff, too. I think we set and/or broke records with numbers of comments per post, at least once. Have fun!
      **Best bit: Newbie commenter Silva Noir’s “Not.a.lion” art – see the box at right.**

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 25

        yes, I saw it. And I must have the shirt!

        *jumps up and down and hopes hubby takes note*

        The only thing is I’ll probably have to wait till they do their next free postage offer, because it’s just a bit too much to get one shipped to the UK.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 25
          Windrose permalink

          Okay, Dev, here’s the plan. You buy the shirt, and have it shipped to me. Then I mail it to Lola, who hands it off to Graham by UPS. We enlist a dog sled in Canada to get it to the Fire Brigade, who deliver it with lights flashing to Steve-O. Steve-O attends a conference in Burning Bridges in London, and Viola! Your shirt arrives in one piece, with minimum shipping involved. 8)

          Adores: 4
  21. 2010 January 25

    Pikachu!

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 January 25
      Lola permalink

      Gesundheit. Need a tissue?

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 January 25

        Yes, blease.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25
          Lola permalink

          Here it is. Your Kleenex. There’s something going around. I made soup. Want some? OK, don’t have any. That’s fine. I’ll just eat my soup by myself over here. Eat something. Would it kill you to have a drop of soup? At least put on a sweater. What? You want that you should die before me, and leave me here alone, with all of this soup? Have some soup.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 January 25

          Wow, you play the high-context culture/guilt-inducing mother role very well!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 25
          Lola permalink

          I have a fondness for a certain type of tall, dark, and handsome (bei mir bist du schoen!), of which that sort of mother/bubbe is frequently part of the package. That, plus my own parents’ major skills at inducing guilt, and I don’t even have to try. It just comes out. Same thing, different dialogue.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25

          LoL, I never put it together but that observation seems to hold pretty true! (You have a Jewish kopf!)

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25
          Lola permalink

          Hee hee, you said “kopf,” Mr. Covered-in-Latex. πŸ˜›

          Actually, I went to school with kids who had that as a surname. Always wondered if it had been shortened from something (probably), but people can be touchy about that sort of thing so I never asked.

          As for the cross-cultural thing, I’ve pretty much accepted that it’s not going to happen/work. However, I still like to channel the mother-guilt once in a while. Sometimes, it’s the only voice for the situation! Also, Yiddish is fun. Sometimes it’s the right word at the right time.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25

          I agree.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 25
          Lola permalink

          Thanks, you’re a mensch!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25
          Windrose permalink

          Ahem, I think I just got schmaltz all over me!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25
          Lola permalink

          Schmaltz or schmutz, I’m not sure which … it’ll wash off, regardless.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 25

          Use a lot of hot water.

          Adores: 1
  22. 2010 January 25
    Bianchi Sound permalink

    I think it’s time to start YouSuckAtYouSuckAtCraigslist.com.

    http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=2711#comment-22595

    Adores: 1
  23. 2010 January 26
    Windrose permalink

    *thinks about pointing out the 211 posts, but decides to go to bed instead* Goodnight my dear friends.

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 January 26
      Ed Snyder permalink

      Thank you for not wasting the bandwidth to point out the number of posts. It is much appreciated that you didn’t point it out.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 January 26

        Thank you for not pointing out that windrose pointed out the number of comments, and also not scathing her on it. Surely that would have been a waste of bandwidth. It is much appreciated that you didn’t point it out.
        In Soviet Russia, bandwidth waste points out Ed!

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 26
          Ed Snyder permalink

          Thank you for thanking me for thanking Windrose.

          Adores: 1

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