YSaC, Vol. 575: It’s hip to be 7×5.

2010 February 12

Square 7×5 Rug – $50


Beautiful floral design

575

My, that certainly is a lovely square 7 x 5 rug.

Aerial Rug – $75


8×5 Aerial Rug! Origianlly $300. Please email me if intrested. Thanks,

Clearly, the aerial rug has made a tight bank turn to the left and the talking parrot that was riding it has fallen off. Luckily, we have a replacement.

Thanks, Elissa and Crystal!

140 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 February 12
    2Sly4U permalink

    If I buy the Aerial rug, does it come with Jasmine? Or better yet, Aladdin!! Or does it come with an annoying singing fish-person? I would like to know because I’ll pass if it comes with princesses.
    And is that cat-math square? Or poker square? I need to make sure it will fit and I always get the conversions messed up.

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 February 12
      jackie31337 permalink

      For the life of me, I cannot remember the “clean” lyrics to A Whole New World ever since I recorded this version 11 years ago. (I have no idea who the chin people are, but I think they rock!)

      Adores: 0
  2. 2010 February 12
    Nicole permalink

    7×5 what? Inches? Meters? Monkeys?
    Wait! I have it!
    7 falling parrots x 5 remakes of Aladdin’s flying carpet=a lot of CL fail.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 February 12
      Lara permalink

      Are you a math or science teacher? I always got scolded for forgetting the unit part of the answers. My answers probably would have made more sense in falling parrots and monkeys.
      And now for my favorite clean joke about units EVER:

      Newton, Pascal, and Einstein are playing Hide and Go seek in Heaven. Einstein is counting to 10 and Pascal hides while Newton just draws a 1 meter by 1 meter box around where he is standing. When Einstein opens his eyes and says “I found you Newton! You were supposed to hide! You’re out!” Newton replies “No I’m not, I’m one Newton per square meter, Pascal is out!”

      Now that I have shown my geek colors, I will incude a joke I thought of in the shower one day and use to break the ice on first dates:

      What did the police arrest Hamlet for?
      Felonious Polonius Assault

      If they don’t get it I know I am dating the wrong guy.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 February 12
        TacoMagic permalink

        If it’s nerd jokes we’re doing, then I’ve got one for you:

        An infinite number of math professors walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders half a beer, the third one orders a quarter of a beer, the fourth one orders an eighth of a beer; the bartender turns to them and says, “You’re all idiots,” and pours them two beers.

        Adores: 27
        • 2010 February 12
          Lara permalink

          Love it! That will go into my repertoire.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 February 12
          mudslicker permalink

          Bwaaah….!

          Sexyfingers, that joke was a snot buster.

          Alas, I have never met a bartender who could have figured that out. Must have been in a Cambridge pub.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 February 12
          BigUncleJohn permalink

          René Descartes walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender asks, “how about a Bacontini?”
          René answers, “I think not.” Then, poof, René disappears.

          Adores: 15
        • 2010 February 12
          mudslicker permalink

          This must be casual nerd Friday.

          BUJ…..AWESOME!!!

          *feeling the need to graffiti Jim Morrison’s grave*

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 February 12
          Bacontini permalink

          Ok, long one for the Irish, but not geeky:

          A man walks into a bar, sits down and waits for the waitress. She eventually gets around to him and asks for his order; and he orders 3 beers.

          He eventually finishes the beers and when the waitress is back around again, he orders three more. This goes on all night.

          Curious the waitress eventually approaches and askes, “Why do you keep ordering your beers in threes?”

          He replies, “I’m originally from Ireland, and back in my home town I used to always go drinking with my two brothers. But, I eventually left home to find work. On the last day there I went drinking with my brothers and we promised to always order drinks as if we were all there.”

          The waitress likes the story and brings him 3 more beers.

          From then on, every few nights the man would come in and drink with his brothers by ordering the three beers.

          A few months later he comes in and waitress sees him and heads right over, “Let me guess, three beers as usual?”

          “No, today I need only 2 beers.”

          The waitress is shocked, “Oh my, I’m so sorry for your loss. Do you want to talk about it?”

          The man smiles and says, “Oh no, you misunderstand. I gave up drinking for lent.”

          Adores: 11
        • 2010 February 12
          Irregular Fractal permalink

          In the late 1880s, my undergraduate institution – known for mathematics and science – wired the math building for electricity. This was before the days of wiring codes, and small fires broke out every now and again if lights were left on too long. As a precaution, the school placed buckets outside of each professor’s door filled with water.

          One night, one of the mathematicians was working late in the office when a fire broke out. He immediately grabbed the bucket and put the fire out. He replaced the bucket and left for the night, making a note to refill the bucket in the morning.

          The next morning, consumed by a proof he was mulling over, he went right to work, neglecting to refill the bucket. Working late yet again, another small fire broke out.

          The mathematician grabbed the bucket, ran to the washroom, and refilled the bucket. Placing the bucket outside his door, he stated, “This reduces to the previous case,” and left the building – which promptly burned to the ground.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 February 13
          jackie31337 permalink

          “This must be casual nerd Friday.”

          No, it’s causal Friday: every thing we do today has to have an effect. :P

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 February 12

        Always remember, alcohol and calculus do not mix.

        NEVER drink and derive!

        Adores: 5
      • 2010 February 15
        Anoxos permalink

        A roman Centurion walks into a bar, and says “I’d like a dry Martinus…”

        The bartender replies, “Don’t you mean martinii?”

        Centurion answers, “If I’d wanted two, I’d have ordered two!”

        Adores: 4
  3. 2010 February 12
    Nicole permalink

    Well, you don’t know what we can find (on Craigslist)
    Why don’t you come with me little girl (heh heh heh)
    On an aerial rug ride (“magic carpet” is so last year)
    Well, you don’t know what we can see (because you need to keep your eyes shut)
    Why don’t you tell your dreams to me (so I can pretend to care)
    Fantasy will set you free (if the 90 degree angle of this carpet doesn’t)
    Close your eyes girl (and don’t watch as you fall)
    Look inside girl (because it’s a better view than plummeting to your death)
    Let the sound take you away (just don’t scream too loudly!)

    Adores: 10
    • 2010 February 12
      Lara permalink

      I like to dream, yes yes, right between my sound machine
      On a cloud of sound I drift in the night
      Any place it goes is right
      Goes far, flies near, to the stars away from here

      You don’t really need a flying carpet according to the beginning lyrics. I say you just need Acid.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 February 12

        I thought that they were angels,
        But to my surprise,
        We climbed aboard their aerial rug
        And headed for the skies…

        What? It wasn’t an aerial rug?

        Adores: 3
    • 2010 February 12
      mudslicker permalink

      In space, no one can hear you scream so I hope this is a NASA rug.

      Adores: 3
  4. 2010 February 12
    Lola permalink

    That second one is clearly a lemon. Who wants an aerial rug that only flies sideways? Plus, that pattern more than just a little busy for my taste (and I like intricate patterns); it rather does my head in.

    On the other hand, that first one will go nicely under yesterday’s poker table for 8 that seats 6 | for 6 that seats 8 | 42 (default answer to life, the universe, and everything).

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 February 12
      TacoMagic permalink

      Go over to google and type in: “answer to life the universe and everything”.

      If you’ve already done this, go do it again.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 February 12
        Lola permalink

        That is most excellent. Somewhere, Douglas Adams is smiling.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 February 12
          Tacomagic permalink

          He’s hanging with the Great Green Arkleseizure.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 February 12
          Lola permalink

          And in the restaurant at the end of the universe, probably. I suspect that he gets his tab comped there.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 February 12
          Lara permalink

          He was one Hoopy Frood who always knew where his towel was. <3

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 February 12
        mudslicker permalink

        “42″

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 February 12
          Windrose permalink

          Sometimes I think the Vogons are way over due. 8/

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 February 12
          Lola permalink

          Actually, Windrose, it may well be that the Vogons have dropped doing poetry and are in fact posting these ads on CL instead. They will take us over from within …

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 February 12
          sarajean80 permalink

          Ugh, what a thought. I need a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster to clear that out of my head.

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 February 12
        Catherine permalink

        it’s extra cool that this is the result you get because of their calculator function!

        Adores: 1
      • 2010 February 12

        Whoever sees The Heart of Gold first, be sure to flag it down… and make sure Zaphod, Trillian, et. al. have enough room for a few billion passengers…

        Adores: 1
  5. 2010 February 12
    TacoMagic permalink

    Where’s Topper? After her falling out with Bacontini I think I know of a nice rug I can set her up with…

    Adores: 3
  6. 2010 February 12
    PrincessLuceval permalink

    Aside from the math challenged description, the floral rug looks to be quite pretty. At least that teeny little area.

    Now my husband, on the other hand, would find the “aerial” rug quite to his taste. I just don’t care for carpet that you can lose large items in. “Honey, have you seen the cat lately?” And I don’t know what “aerial” of the floor we could put it.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 February 12
      Lara permalink

      The first rug looks really dirty with that lighting. It could just be really dirty. It’s been a bad bad rug.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 February 12
        Lola permalink

        I think they’re just following the first rule of putting a picture on CL: If you can photograph it in a flattering, attractive fashion, don’t use that picture. Use what everyone else would consider “practice shots.” Frankly, I’m surprised it wasn’t photographed outside, with lawn ornaments or broken autos in the background.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 February 12
          Lara permalink

          I think I would have been more interested if they had included a garden gnome and a flamingo in the picture. I believe some day the garden gnomes and the flamingos will have a bloody war on a lawn in Florida. Garden gnomes are just creepy. I’ll cheer for the flamingos.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 February 12
          sarajean80 permalink

          Have you ever been “flamingoed”?

          On your birthday a bunch of “friends” cover your front lawn with plastic flamingos. Some might wear festive party wear.

          There are even companies that will do it and collect the flamingos afterwards. (Personally I would want to keep them so I could return the “gift” the next year.)

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 February 12
          TacoMmagic permalink

          Well… I was spanked with a flamingo once.

          What? Don’t judge me.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 February 12
          sarajean80 permalink

          Real or plastic?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 February 12
          Lola permalink

          One of my parents’ neighbors/father of a childhood friend/person with the requisite sense of humor had this done to him on his 50th birthday. They left 50 on his lawn.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 February 12

          My former neighbor only had two ornaments on his lawn from the 1960′s onward, a creepy lawn gnome and a cute cement donkey.

          When he passed away, his kids gave us the lawn ornaments.
          I sanded down the donkey, gave it a new paint job. It was darn heavy- at least 50 lbs or more.

          Someone stole the donkey.

          The creepy lawn gnome is still there. I’ve actually tried giving it away, but it gets returned to me. I wish someone would steal it. (it would make a good companion for Depressey). One day I’ll try to destroy it or bury it.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 February 13
          FireManSteve-O permalink

          Would you call the lawn ornament theft culprit an “ass-grabber?”

          Adores: 3
  7. 2010 February 12
    Lara permalink

    Maybe the aerial rug does barrel roles and occasionally gets in dog fights with other flying rugs. It defeats them by turning the full power of its ugliness on them. It is still haunted by the Red Baron, and by Red Baron I mean the pizza.

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 February 12
      Peppy permalink

      Do a barrel roll!

      Adores: 5
  8. 2010 February 12
    Lara permalink

    Bacontini, will you be my Valentine? I don’t have one and I am so lonely. The only thing that could keep us apart is that I am a vegetarian.

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 February 12
      Bacontini permalink

      Of course Bacontini be your Valentine. In fact, Bacontini is Valentine to all ladies who need da Valentine! Bacontini, he has a big heart, and dere is plenty of Bacontini to go around!

      Yes ladies, Bacontini is here for you during de holiday of love.

      (Also, due to de poor economy and de fact dat Bacontini is a cocktail, he may not be able to provide de customary gifts. For dis, Bacontini appologize in advance.)

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 February 12
        Lola permalink

        Is Bacontini available in Chocolate-dipped Bacon http://www.ehow.com/how_5573615_make-chocolate-dipped-bacon.html ? Because if you are Chocolate-dipped Bacontini on Valentine’s Day, I think the ladies will be happy enough without the “customary gifts.”

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 February 12
          Bacontini permalink

          Bacontini like de way dis lady tinks! Bacontini will coat himself down in de most rich, German milk-chocolate he can find!

          For de whole weekend, Bacontini will become: Chocolate Valentine Bacontini! Yes, even… no especially when he is covered in chocolate, Bacontini is here for da ladies!

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 February 12
          PrincessLuceval permalink

          I was thinking more like a Bacon Alarm Clock:
          http://www.seriouseats.com/2008/07/wake-n-bacon-alarm-clock-the-best-sleepending.html

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 February 12
          Lola permalink

          Lara, this might work for you. You can have the chocolate part and the alcohol part, but just enjoy the company of the bacon.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 February 12
          TacoMagic permalink

          Ok, where’s SilvaNoir? We totally need a Valentine’s day drawing of “Hangin wit Bacon.”

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 February 12
          Lola permalink

          Princess Luceval, you are my new best friend. I am sending this link to everyone I know.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 February 12
          Lara permalink

          I am totally down with that Lola. Thank you Bacontini, you have made me so happy. and possibly drunk.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 February 12
          TacoMagic permalink

          Well, if you’re going to wake up to bacon, you might as well wear it too:

          http://www.freewilliamsburg.com/archives/bacon-bra-01.jpg

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 February 12
          Lola permalink

          Hmm, TM, maybe it’s because the bacon is raw, and also because I’m not a guy, but that is easily one of the only times I am not interested in eating bacon at all.

          I mean, if you’re going to wear bacon, be out (of doors) and proud about it! Wear a bacon suit, like these kids: http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/2009/06/25/the-bacon-brothers/

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 February 12
          Topper permalink

          There you are, you heartbreaker!

          *Topper enters,radiating green fury like the Hulk*

          Philanderer! I should have known you would be hanging out with your…your…your electronic floozies!

          *weeping* They were right about you! I’m going back home to Mother’s garage!

          *slams door. Reopens.* Oh, I’m having twin barstools and they’re yours. See you in Family Court.

          *door slams again, rattling picture of cats playing poker.*

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 February 12
          Bacontini permalink

          Bacontini guesses he be sleeping on de couch for de weekend.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 February 12
          christina permalink

          Would a fakin’ bacon martini be acceptable?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 February 12
          Bacontini permalink

          You speak of Bacontini’s twin nemesis: Not.A.Bacontini.

          Do not let him fool you with his healthy bacon alternative, dere is no substitute for de real Bacontini!

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 February 12
          Fakintini permalink

          Quiet Bacontini! You’re always keeping me down, but not today!

          They are calling for me, the healthier yet less bacony beverage. You would have them grow soft on your fattening lies, and your greasy promises. But no longer! Fakintini will have his day!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 February 12
          Topper permalink

          *Slides up beside Fakintini*

          Well, hello there, handsome.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 February 12
          sweetbiscuit21 permalink

          wow, that got freaky while i was away. Bacon is a FOOD, People!!!!! A deliciously crunchy salty flavoursome bacon-y food…… and there is no food in the western world that can not be improved with the addition of bacon. But clothing? Even Angelina wearing this wouldn’t do it for me. Seriously – ewwww.

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 February 12
        sarajean80 permalink

        Ohh, plot twist!

        I’m gonna go get some popcorn, this looks like it could get good.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 February 12
          mudslicker permalink

          LOL. I need a Lionel cheese ball and some Ritz to go with those movie snacks.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 February 12
          camille permalink

          I knew there’d be an evil twin. There’s always an evil twin.

          Next plot twist needs to involve amnesia, I’m thinking.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 February 12
          TacoMmagic permalink

          Next time on “The Bold and the Bacontini”:

          Fakintini: “Listen, Bacontini, you screwed it up with Topper. She can make her own choices, and it isn’t you!”

          Bacontini: “Did you tell her though? Did you tell her that you’re really my brother?! Maybe I should tell her first.”

          Fakintini: “You wouldn’t dare!”

          *Scene change*

          Mudslicker: “Sarajean, you need to get help. You can’t keep downing Snarks every time things go bad for you. You’re going to end up just like Taco.”

          Sarajean: “You’re not my mother! I can handle the Snark, so mind your own buisness!”

          *Scene change*

          Random, Mostly Handsome Doctor: “I was able to save her life, but the areas of the brain that control memory may have been affected. I’m afraid that it’s likely that Camille will have amnesia. Oh, and, she’ll never walk again. Plus she’ll be scarred for life. And, most likely she’ll never wake from the coma.”

          Lola: “Well yeah, thanks for uh… saving her then. I’m sure the quality of life will be just peachy.”

          *Dramatic music while fading to black*

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 February 12
          sarajean80 permalink

          Aww, why do I always end up being the raging snarkaholic?
          Can I at least get an eyepatch? I look rather dashing in an eyepatch.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 February 12
          TacoMmagic permalink

          At least you weren’t the one being referenced as having a snark overdose.

          I can be such a jerk sometimes.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 February 12
          camille permalink

          And at least you’re not comatose. Thanks a bunch, Taco.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 February 12
          tacomagic permalink

          Had to do it to somebody, and GrahamT isn’t around to torment.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 February 12
          emesis permalink

          Does someone have too much time on their sexyfingers*? Idle sexyfingers are the devil’s workshop…

          *This is not a complaint. I just felt the need to say “sexyfingers”.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 February 12
          FireManSteve-O permalink

          I would just like to say, in light of the upcoming holiday, I love everyone of you. You are all my kind of weird.
          *I am out of snark today, so sincere will have to do.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 February 12
          Windrose permalink

          I’m all out of snark,
          I can’t joke without it,
          I’ve waited so long,
          To reach the Don’t Suck box!

          I’m all out of snark,
          What am I without it?
          It can’t be too late,
          To be drmk’s pick!

          What will she pick today?
          Oh what will she pick today?
          What will she pick today?
          Who will she pick today?

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 February 13

          +100′s if I could windrose, excellent work.

          Sadly I am still rather snarkless as this damn cold just wont quit, so if anyone has any spare snark please feel free to post of for me.

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 February 12
      TacoMagic permalink

      Actually, in case SilvaNoir is busy/has better things to do, I’m going to dust off my rusty drawing skills and give “Hangin wit Bacon” a try.

      It won’t be of Silva caliber, but I’ll see what I can bang together.

      Hmmm, where are my crayons…

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 February 12
        TacoMagic permalink

        Well, I’ve got a rough idea panel drawn. I’ll see if I can get it scanned in and posted somewhere because the idea is good, even if the quality is not. I’ll have to wait until I have access to my drawing kit before I can attempt to do the actual picture.

        I think it’s somewhere in the basement *sigh*.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 February 12
          mudslicker permalink

          Victor! Have you not finished with the creature yet? Is it alive?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 February 12
          TacoMmagic permalink

          Wait, where are you going? I was gonna make espresso….

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 February 12

        Aww, that makes me seem snobby. I’m really not. I was doing Spring cleaning today. My house is now clean and spring-free.

        I wouldn’t even know where to begin with a bacon themed soap opera. ^_^;

        Crayons are fun though… This is very old art and a gallery I don’t use anymore but this was drawn in marker, colored with crayons: http://www.elfwood.com/~charlene/Merfish.2623143.html

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 February 12
          Windrose permalink

          Silva, if you have the urge to keep right on cleaning, I’ll send you my address. 8)

          Adores: 0
  9. 2010 February 12
    Lara permalink

    drmk, I love your title!! I sing that song regularly in the shower. This is a big reason I am going to be a Children’s Librarian, I can sing Sesame Street songs and most people will excuse me.

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 February 12
      Lara permalink

      Just so everyone knows, I know this is an actual song. I just choose the Sesame Street version because that’s how I roll.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 February 12
        Windrose permalink

        Good thing you clarified, Lara. We don’t want Huey Lewis dropping in here, all mad and yelling. 8) (back in a minute after the site throws me out)

        Adores: 0
  10. 2010 February 12
    Boris permalink

    Second rug looks like it could really tie my room together.

    Adores: 9
    • 2010 February 12
      Lara permalink

      You get credit for a reference to The Big Lebowski.

      +infinite math professors

      Adores: 6
    • 2010 February 12
      Meej permalink

      Totally. Dude.

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 February 12
      sarajean80 permalink

      The second rug looks more like something from a room you would be tied up in.

      White Russians for everyone!

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 February 12
        TacoMmagic permalink

        In Soviet Russia, Russians white you?

        Adores: 4
      • 2010 February 12

        RACIST!
        Although I don’t think Al will want in on this one.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 February 12
          sarajean80 permalink

          Would “Dairy-Enhanced Russian” be better?

          I guess if you are lactose intolerant you would need a “Soy-Based Milk Substitute Russian” instead.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 February 12
          TacoMmagic permalink

          That reminds me of a super hero I created once. “Low-fat Butter Substitute Man.”

          I think it was for a fusion comic.

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 February 12
      Colleen in MA permalink

      Smokey, this ain’t ‘Nam. This is bowling – there are rules!

      Adores: 0
  11. 2010 February 12
    Kalani permalink

    I want that second rug. Even if it doesn’t fly.

    Adores: 0
  12. 2010 February 12
    Meej permalink

    Tahiti Sam!

    So, back when I first found this site, and was skimming through the archives, I found the Tahiti Sam post. When I went from there to the Monkey Tissue Holder, I knew two things – 1) this place rocked, and 2) there was even more to Tahiti Sam than met the eye.

    http://www.hotshotscanada.com/item1383.htm

    Original (undamaged, ie, with his platter) Tahiti Sam price: $40 Canadian. Craigslist price: $200.

    On-topic: Took me long enough to realize that “aerial” was in fact a speeling prolbem with a turned-sideways picture, not a “definition problem” for a wall hanging. So many things wrong with these people…

    Adores: 2
  13. 2010 February 12
    TacoMmagic permalink

    Aww, Llama-nun noticed that I change the capitalization of my M a lot. I’m touched.

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 February 12
      Lola permalink

      I’m just pleased to get a group punch two days running!

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 February 12
        Dan permalink

        Wait… am I allowed to get a punch? I work here!

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 February 12
          Tacomagic permalink

          Technically the punches come from a freelance subcontractor, so I’m gonna say that yes, you can have a punch too.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 February 12
          Windrose permalink

          Dan, for you, there’s a really special punch! 8) And congrats, everyone!

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 February 12
      mudslicker permalink

      You’re touched alright TMm….hehe

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 February 12
        TacoMmagic permalink

        Bad touch, bad touch! I need an adult!

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 February 12
          J.Wilson Monkeypants, Esq. permalink

          Now, don’t be frightened little boy. Show us on this cactus where the bad person touched you.

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 February 12
          mudslicker permalink

          Bad touch? Bad touch?

          *cue the music*

          Baby take off your poncho real slow
          and take off your zapatos.
          Baby take off your pantalones
          Sí,
          Sí,
          Sí.
          You can leave your sombrero on
          You can leave your sombrero on
          You can leave your sombrero on.

          Apologies to Jose Cocker and his prickly-cactus-bad-touch-visual-aid!

          Adores: 3
  14. 2010 February 12

    A little advice from someone who should know: Stay away from that model – it is very prone to carpet burn!

    Adores: 2
  15. 2010 February 12

    That is IT. I’m finding these people, duct-taping their eyes open and forcing them to watch School House Rock.

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 February 12
      mudslicker permalink

      Why can’t I get Clockwork Orange out of my head now Alex?

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 February 12

        Haha, that’s what I had in my head, too!

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 February 12
          mudslicker permalink

          Is Beethoven’s Ninth playing in the background for you too HHNF?

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 February 12
        CapnMac permalink

        Eeek! Now I have to go did the Karajan D.Gramophone CD out to get the “electric” version from the movie out of my head (that, and Singing in the Rain, having watched the film on Encore a couple nights ago, my drooges).

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 February 12
          mudslicker permalink

          How ultra-violent of you CM!!

          Adores: 1
  16. 2010 February 12

    The first carpet is very well-hung, and Now. A. Square, so we might be dating soon. We’ll be meeting in Times Rectangle.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 February 12

      I’m a square in a rectangle body :-(

      Adores: 0
  17. 2010 February 12

    hi folks,

    still feeling rather snarkless due to this hideous head cold. Yesterday is rather a blur that simply occurred in the background while I was hiding under a quilt/cat combo working my way through my third box of tissues.

    I guess it’s a good thing I have it now though, since I should be fully free of it before I go away on 22nd Feb. Having said that though, right now I really could give Rudolf a run for his money in the red nose stakes.

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 February 12
      sarajean80 permalink

      Poor dev-a-dear! Have some tea. *Passes over a steaming cup.* The secret ingredient is love!

      (And by love I mean “I made it with bourbon”)

      Adores: 8
      • 2010 February 12
        Colleen in MA permalink

        I’ll join this tea party!

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 February 12
          sarajean80 permalink

          I’ll pass the … “teapot” around.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 February 12
          Bacontini permalink

          And Bacontini make sure everyone get da teabag.

          What? Why you back away from Bacontini? Bacontini’s teabags are delicious, and very potent for being so small. What? Why all de laughing? Dey are! Dey make lots of tea!

          Adores: 10
    • 2010 February 13

      Thanks sarajean, that sounds like my kinda tea

      Adores: 0
  18. 2010 February 12
    Jane permalink

    I’m in Vancouver, home of the Winter Olympics starting today, so I prefer to think of the second glorious rug as a ski jumping rug, with dreams competing in the aerials competition.

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 February 12
      TacoMmagic permalink

      Looks more like a bobsled rug to me.

      It’s making that corner pretty well.

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 February 12
      Lola permalink

      Hope it’s got a nice waterproof backing, in that case. I hear that you have a bit less snow than usual and what is there is melting (hence the waterproof reference).

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 February 15
        Jane permalink

        LOL oh my yes, people were walking around in t-shirts this weekend. I wonder if it’s too late to switch to summer games? :)

        Adores: 1
    • 2010 February 12
      Supreme Ruler permalink

      Are you as happy as I am that this has finally started? Yea! Means no more of those G.D.’d commercials that have been running for the last four years.

      Adores: 0
  19. 2010 February 12
    Hartster permalink

    You all don’t get it, do you? The second rug is sideways because that’s the way it’s meant to be used. It’s an aerial rug, all right, meant to be hooked up to your set as a television aerial, for those of us decrying the cost of cable or satellite TV.

    Strangely, what I get when I hooked the aerial rug up to my TV set was… a fuzzy picture. I also always get either Persian or Oriental broadcasts.

    Adores: 7
  20. 2010 February 12
    CapnMac permalink

    Well, I thought that CL types were hip, learn-ed, non-judgemental folks; not the sort to use epithets like “square” perjoratively about items they are trying to sell. For Shame! for Shame!

    Now, since the second rug vendor failed to mention any current airworthiness certificates or FAA-sanctioned inspections (or even a maintenance & flight log), I’ve been trying to decide whether the rug is meant to reflect the King of the Faieries & Sylphs, or a misspelling of MS’s stock typeface (and, I’ve bee cross eno’ to want to fling Arial agin’ the wall a time a’ tae).

    (ah, Allegro ma non troppo, un poco maesstoso; O Herbie, you do ludvig van proud . . . )

    Adores: 1
  21. 2010 February 12
    Steph permalink

    Took me long enough to figure out that 7X5 is, in actuality, a rectangle. I knew it! High school has burned out my brain!

    Adores: 0
  22. 2010 February 12
    CapnMac permalink

    had to relax and channel Doug a bit; of course it’s hip to be 7 x 5

    7 x 5 = 42

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 February 12
      mudslicker permalink

      7 x 5 + hexagon-topper + 1 = 42

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 February 12
        CapnMac permalink

        Well, if we invoke the hexed topper, is it possible to have a square rectangle; but that generally requires hipness (as in the name ofthe pyramidal roof shape, only with unequal slope angles).

        But, invoking such dimentions might make me ultra-violet.

        (and the molto vivavce begins)

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 February 12
          mudslicker permalink

          oh silly capn….designated shapes have no meaning on CL…you should know this by now.

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 February 12
      sarajean80 permalink

      That must be the cat math version, ’cause I get 35.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 February 12
        CapnMac permalink

        SJ, every reference DA has the characters make in Book Three do not add up to the Answer. So, 4 x 9, 5 x 7, etc., are all invoked.

        But, it also could be that our late and much missed Mr Adams was an adept at the Base18 cat math, too.

        Or the dolphins might just want more mackerel . . .

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 February 12
          Bacontini permalink

          Fun with base4 math:

          10×10 = 100
          3×3 = 21
          2x2x2 = 20
          3x2x2x3 = 210

          Yargdble! *Flees*

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 February 12
          sarajean80 permalink

          Ah.
          Sorry,it’s been a while since I’ve work through all elebenty+ books of the trilogy.

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 February 12
        mudslicker permalink

        When in doubt, it’s always safe to reference dolphins.

        Adores: 0
  23. 2010 February 12
    Shark Blank permalink

    Today’s post title make me think of Christain Bale in a rain slicker… talk about ultra-violence! That is where my mind goes upon hearing the name Huey Lewis and the News… (the band name is correct, right?)

    Adores: 0
  24. 2010 February 12
    Ariel permalink

    I can’t believe some f#^$ing a@#hole is selling my g&*!$mn rug on craigslist!

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 February 12

      No wonder Ursula took your voice.

      Adores: 5
    • 2010 February 12
      emesis permalink

      Silly Ariel,
      Rugs are for humans! Mermaids just have scales down there. Or so I have imagined many times.

      Adores: 2
  25. 2010 February 12
    Hartster permalink

    If I remember my math right, we have to the multiplication first. Therefore, the rug is 7 x 5 =$35-50 which means that the poster will give you $15 to take the rug. (That _is_ a minus sign, and not a dash, right?)

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 February 12
      Quickcomeback permalink

      I like your logic and would like to invite you shopping the next time I go. Hopefully for better stuff though.

      Adores: 1

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