YSaC, Vol. 619: Mater? That you?

2010 March 28

If ever there was a post that cried out for the “unclear on the concept” tag, it’s this one:

two 1954 ford trucks – $1500


i have two 1954 ford trucks ,these trucks make beatiful trucks finished ,i have cab off of one ready to put cab corners in ,also have both 6 cyl engines ,cond unknown ,have 1987 ford crown vic with 5.0 that goes also,selling due to back problems.any questions please call ###-###-####

That’s right folks… that’s a PICTURE of a Craigslist ad, posted right here in an ad on Craigslist.

I’ve come up with several explanations for why on earth this exists, but each one is so much stupider than the last that I can’t even bring myself to articulate them. And why would back problems force you to sell a CAR? Have you been carrying it around?!? Because that’s really unclear on the concept.

Thanks for the link, Andrew!

99 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 March 28
    Windrose permalink

    Former strongman with the circus, maybe? After all, it is a pickup truck.

    Adores: 12
  2. 2010 March 28
    Lola permalink

    This is one time when I really wish you’d left the number in, because I have LOTS of questions.
    I’d start with inquiring about whether proper punctuation instruction was ever included in their education …

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 March 28
      jackie31337 permalink

      You’re assuming this person had an education.

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 March 28
      christina permalink

      Read the pause comma combo as a dramatic pause/line break. Now imagine some bongos and finger snapping in the background. Oh sure, it’s no “Red Table.” But give Sparky a break, this is his first time.

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 March 28
        frigglesnitz permalink

        He states it’s beatiful. I think he meant beatnikiful.
        I can dig it, Daddy-o.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 28

          The trucks are from the ’50s…

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 28
          christina permalink

          I hadn’t even noticed ‘beatiful’ on the first read. How serendipitous!
          Ford truck, bad luck
          beat car
          won’t go far
          bad back: daddy needs money for crack
          Dig it!

          Adores: 20
        • 2010 March 28
          kireina permalink

          *snaps for christina*

          Adores: 1
  3. 2010 March 28
    Meredith permalink

    Now we know what kind of people use those ads for “Craigslist posters”

    “Do you need an ad on Craigslist but don’t know how to set it up? I CAN DO IT FOR YOU!!! All you need to do is make an ad up, send it to me, and then I’LL post it for you!!! Right now discounted to 50$!!!! E-mail me your ad TODAY!!!”

    And in a few short weeks, THIS is what you get! It’s BEEEEAAAUUUUTIFUL!

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 March 28

      I think you mean BEATIFUL, Meredith.

      (Which is how one feels after getting knocked in the gob by Windrose’s Holy Brassy Knucks.)

      Adores: 11
  4. 2010 March 28
    sarajean80 permalink

    How funny/sad/awesome would it be if that was not actually a picture but one that is a “look-a-like”, similar to yesterday’s ad? You show up to look at some mildly rusted car only to find one that appears infected with the auto equivalent of necrotizing fasciitis.

    If it is his car by chance, how did the picture get there? Is it possible to access CraigsList from The Twilight Zone?

    That would actually go a long way towards explaining some of these.

    Adores: 9
    • 2010 March 28
      Lola permalink

      “If it is his car by chance, how did the picture get there? Is it possible to access CraigsList from The Twilight Zone?

      That would actually go a long way towards explaining some of these.”

      Sarajean, I think that by accessing the Cat Math portal, we may be able to prove your theory.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 March 28

        *hands Lola her catulator* Here, maybe you can get it to work. I’ve had no luck since it puked up all the kibbles…

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 28
          Lola permalink

          CJ, I think you missed the bit lately where I confessed to being math-of-all-kinds-challenged.
          I’m good at theories; just don’t ask me to show my work.

          *pokes at catulator, timidly*
          Hmmm, it says … “Yes, we have no bananas.”

          Adores: 5
    • 2010 March 28

      You are traveling through another dimension: a dimension not only of lions and bees, but of unblublers. Journey into an appalling land whose inhabitants know neither spelling nor arithmetic. That’s the sign post up ahead: your next stop… The Craigslist Zone!

      Adores: 40
      • 2010 March 28
        SilvaNoir permalink

        Isaac, A big WIN to you for that TwilightZone comment. It should be on a banner ad for this website.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 March 28

          I feel another mug coming on……..

          And why not? I could use something to sit on the counter beside my Llamanun/prayer mug.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 29

          I third this motion!
          This is Uhmercuh, we vote, we win.

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 March 28
      Meredith permalink

      Like the one I forwarded on to drmk the other day: “The picture is not my cat, but it’s the exact same cat.”

      uhhhhh, ooookay. So it’s NOT this cat, but it IS this EXACT SAME cat???? makes sense to me.

      My mother is a crazy e-bayer, and she thinks people who steal other people’s pictures should be shot. Of course, she did it all the time till they caught and threatened to ban her.

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 March 28
        sarajean80 permalink

        I sent one in where the poster had not only stolen the image of the lard mold she was selling from eBay, but included the listing number of the auction for price comparison purposes.Now that’s classy.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 29
          eeee permalink

          I’m going to start up a band just for the joy of naming it Lard Mold.

          Adores: 4
    • 2010 March 28
      develish1 permalink

      Well clearly he has a time machine of course. What other explanation is there?

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 March 28
        develish1 permalink

        ooops, wrong avatar again. although given my post maybe it was the right one?

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 28
          christina permalink

          Given that this is the second time you’ve done that, I think your subconcious is doing it on purpose 🙂

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 28

          you don’t think it’s the hangover then? that was my first thought. *chuckle*

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 28
          Jen permalink

          Never apologise for DT. The more of him around, the betterer.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 28

          Hi Jen, where’ve you been lately? Did you not read yesterdays? Or was it the day before? Anyway we had lots of fun discussing the merits of various men.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 March 28
          Jen permalink

          I was moving house! No snark for Jen at weekends. 🙁 Well, except for loudly ridiculing 2012 with my new flatmates.

          Have just caught up on the fangirl squeeing I missed – DT, Barrowman (who NPH tried to overtake in Sexiest Gay Man poll using twitter, ooooh) and Fillion… I needed a wee lie down after all that.

          Hottest thing ever seen = Barrowman + James Marsters. It’s in Torchwood, season 2 I believe. Omgomgomgomgomg… *faints*

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 March 28

          *carefully pops a pillow under Jen’s head* There, there love, don’t hurt yourself. I think a few of us had to go for cold showers after that lot.

          And yes it was season 2 of Torchwood. and now you’ve got me thinking of James Marsters too, well that’s tomorrows blog post sorted then I guess.

          Adores: 0
  5. 2010 March 28
    Jitty permalink

    Uhm, obviously his bad back is keeping him from finishing his restoration project. The trucks are not operational and need to be fixed and reassembled.

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 March 28
      Steve-O permalink

      Stop that logic and reasoning right now! Just kidding, welcome! Come on in, the snark is fine.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 March 28
        develish1 permalink

        what is that avatar Steve? It looks rather like a Not.A.Lion coloured pig to me.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 28
          Oh-Steve permalink

          That is the most epic bacon you have every seen in your life. It is a pork product that you may eat, or it may eat you. Half Not.A.Lion, half swine.

          *I really just stumbled across it on the internet.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 28
          Steve-O permalink

          Why can’t I see my new avatar?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 28
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          Clear your cache. If that doesn’t work, jiggle the handle.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 March 28
          Steve-O permalink

          It worked! Thanks.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 28

          You only get to see your avatar when you’re deemed worthy by the drmk.
          Jiggling your cache usually does work, as Bianchi said.
          wait…where’s my avatar?

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 March 29
        Avatar permalink

        True Avatar……..

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 March 29
          Is.An.Avatar permalink

          No – I am true Avatar…..

          Edit: I tried but failed to do something – I suck at YSaC…..

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 March 28

      Love the new user name, corey.

      Adores: 3
    • 2010 March 28
      CapnMac permalink

      This is YSaC for being 1+1+1 = 2 and 2 p/u + 1 sedan = 2 trucks

      The bad back is about how, after you pay, you get no help loading any of this, to include a pair of dismounted engines, a truck cab, and the crown vic.

      Stop questioning to bossfellas chop-chop quick or I’ll become ursine in my irritation and osteomyclogical discomfort and lose invective in pirate-cant. Arrgh!

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 March 29
        mudslicker permalink

        He say, “one and one and one is three”.
        He got muddy water.
        He one mojo filter.

        DA shell is definitely not DA minty.

        Adores: 0
    • 2010 March 28

      Perfectly reasonable. I assume the bad back has also prevented him from taking a picture of the truck itself, rather than a picture of the already existing ad for the truck?

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 March 28
        Jen permalink

        Well sure it does! See, the truck’s all hidden behind these drewrs he has, which have five drores, but all four of them are at an angle, making getting a proper picture of the truck real hard. Peggy-Sue said he should move the truck out of the lounge, but she’s just cross it’s dripping oil all over her 7×5 foot square lion rug with extra stripes.

        Adores: 9
  6. 2010 March 28

    Mater and Lightning had a falling out after Lightning’s head got all blowed up when he won the Piston Cup.

    Mater, in a fit of despair, fell in with a former wrestler named Bubba LeDeoux. All was going well, until one day when Bubba ambushed Mater and began taking his cab off. Fearing the worst, Mater ran for his life…but alas, our hero only made it as far as the field you see in the picture before running out of gas.

    Bubba, after chasing Mater for the better part of a quarter mile in strappy high-heel pumps, threw his back out and decided to hell with it all.

    This is the result.

    Adores: 11
    • 2010 March 28

      I can’t figure out why you’re referring to your dear old mater with the masculine pronoun.

      Clearly a real story in your childhood somewhere.

      Adores: 7
    • 2010 March 28

      He did WHAT in a cup?!

      Adores: 3
  7. 2010 March 28

    The last thing I need is another Crown Vic with a back problem.

    Adores: 7
  8. 2010 March 28
    Windrose permalink

    Official bidniss because the office closes early on Sundays: Punches going out to Bianchi Sound, Isaac, and christina. Well done, class!

    March Birthdays in case you missed them: On the 24th, Ms. Dolfinn (wish she’d drop in again!), on the 23rd, our lovely and vivacious Develish1, and on the 26th, Caro (see parenthesis after Ms. D.).

    Thank you all for playing! Coming up in April, a certain commenter with sexy fingers! And our favorite YSaC artist!

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 March 28
      christina permalink

      Oh no! Not the brass knuckles! 🙂

      Adores: 3
    • 2010 March 28

      I’m happy to get my punch in whatever way I can, but I totally didn’t deserve that one.

      I totally left out “Baa Ram Ewe,” for example.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 March 28
        christina permalink

        Whatever way you can, eh Isaac? I was just wondering why those “Please punch me!” listings on Vermont’s Craigslist seemed suspiciously well written.

        Adores: 4
      • 2010 March 28
        Depressy permalink

        Depressy take Isaac’s punch. Nom nom nom!

        Adores: 3
    • 2010 March 28
      develish1 permalink

      erm, mines the 29th actually WindRose, but thanks for the description. 🙂

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 March 28
        Windrose permalink

        Now how did I screw that up? 8) At least that means I didn’t miss it, and can now scream Happy Birthday tomorrow.

        Adores: 0
    • 2010 March 28
      Bianchi Sound permalink

      Thanks for the punch. Do I have enough for the stuffed pony yet?

      Adores: 2
  9. 2010 March 28
    Windrose permalink

    Cab Corners is a small, rural village in Tennessee, where old Ford pickups go to die. But sometimes, the Restoration Elves come and take a truck away in the night. The truck gets to spend a few hours with C. Victoria, and then is whisked into the Garage of Eternal Projects. And if it has been an especially good truck, it will enter a gentle slumber, until the day when its new engine is started. *sniff* At least, that’s what they tell me in Cab Corners.

    Adores: 12
  10. 2010 March 28

    He obviously has to sell them because his back problems are forcing him to leave the restoration project unfinished. Snark can be averted if you read carefully.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 March 28
      Lola permalink

      Corey on, dude.

      The point is, my friend, that we shouldn’t have to read carefully. It should be clear the first time. Hence the designation “suck.”

      Thank you for playing, and please do come again!

      PS: Snark is the whole point.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 March 28
        christina permalink

        Movie pitch time:
        Lola’s Excellent Adventure
        Dev and The Doctor show up in a time machine and wisk Lola off to the (not so) distant future, where blue-hooded, llama-like humanoids stare at her in awe.
        “Well say something profound, dude,” says Dev.
        Lola steps nervously forward.
        “Um…Be snarky to each other…and Corey on dude!”

        Adores: 16
        • 2010 March 28

          oooh, I think that might just warrant a + elebenty christina.

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 March 28

      To further Corifiy, those older trucks aren’t always the most comfortable to sit in.

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 March 28
      Windrose permalink

      “Snark can be averted” I’m at a loss, here. I would need a dang good reason to avert my snark. I mean, I wouldn’t even be here if there was no need to snark at every opportunity. Venting my snark on YSaC allows me to blend in with the rest of the population without doing anyone a serious injury.

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 March 28

        I have to be honest… you’re not doing a very good job. I mean, I can see you sticking out like a sore thumb, all the way through my computer. I’m not sure any amount of snark venting will allow you to fully integrate with society. You’re a whirling dervish in a sea of Puritans.

        Adores: 5
  11. 2010 March 28
    CapnMac permalink

    Ok, checked the listing math twice.

    Here’s what you get, in prevention of further dorsal agonies:

    One truck, presumably originally built by Ford, with its 6-cylinder engine removed

    One truck, also presumed to be a Ford, but with cab and engine removed.

    And, you get, as a bonus, a Crown Vic sedan to take as well.

    So, you’ll need about 60′ of trailer to cart this all away, plus engines of unknown condition (we will presume this means mechanical and not quantum flux state–engine work on items that only randomly inhabit our three-dimensional plane-state, could cause back injury {and Scot’s accent}).

    Flux state conditions are very likely, as Sparky states these trucks restore beatifically, allowing the rest of us to speculate on whether this only refers to the phoenix-like resurrection of the vehicles, or, if, in fact, the restored vehicles confer blessings and miracles nearby.

    Which would be handy, getting three vehicles, a loose truck cab and two engines on a single 22′ trailer . . .
    Now, as a guess, Sparky has an engine hoist–but can’t help you load, what with his angina dorsalis.

    But, my pains and aches are making me cranky–if not to the point of making inane CL ads. To that end, I shall recede, unshaven and agonal; my snark dangerous for having too many thorns in Not.A.Lion paws.
    Adieu.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 March 28
      BigUncleJohn permalink

      Nah, it’s Tennessee; yer thinkin’ like a Yankee.

      But a tow bar on the back of the Crown Vic. Hitch up the nekkid frame. Use the engine hoist to position one engine in place, use a chain to lock it in place. Use the bobcat to get the cab set in place, tack weld it down. No boxes in the picture, one can assume they are gone.

      Drop the engine back into the second truck, don’t bother tying it down, the doghouse will hold it in. If its got a box, use the comealong to pull the rear up on to the first, else pull up the front end. Load the other dog house into the box, or just tie it down to the frame.

      Stay off the freeway. Travel between 5am and 2pm. Trailer? Phhhh. $1500 bucks some chains, and yer good to go.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 March 28
        CapnMac permalink

        Nah, it’s Tennessee; yer thinkin’ like a Yankee.

        Sirrah, the length of our association does not suggest license for such imprecation, and would be good cause to invite indignation expressed physically.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 28
          CapnMac permalink

          ‘Sides; gonna be that least one the frames is missing, or has a busted, axle.

          Meanin’ like as not, Sparky won’t have a working bobcat or forklift, an’ his weldin’ bottles is dry–so stackin’ the p/u by workin’ frames offin the Vic’s trunk ain’ like t’work, neither.

          So, it’s gon’ be frame of cabless truck first, then the cabbed one atop that, cab in the bed of that one, all stacked on a trailer, with the crown vic towbarred to the trailer. (Has’ta, the Crown Vic has back problems, prob’ly from bein’ rear-end’d while beint towed.)

          All afer’in Sparky gripes about my trying to wear him down from his $1500 price, and he’s ’bout t’be late to the doctors, an’ ain’t no help t’all iffin he’s just back, three good hours t’daylight late.

          Been to that would-be Sanford-n-Son one too many times–an’at fer cars; you ain’t liv’t ’till y’tried it with bayou boatyards.

          Kind’t thing drive a person t’drink; long as they brought they own ride, got gaso’ene an all–an’ never oncet wit’ the common courtesy to drive a drunk fella home after, neither.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 28
          BigUncleJohn permalink

          a, yup. Spot on.

          But, iffn the Crown Vic don’t move under its own pow’r an any axles is froze, then my large & a haf stays home.

          Sides, Thing Two be followin’ in the dually — gotta git there somehow.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 28
          Jen permalink

          “Thing Two be followin’ in the dually — gotta git there somehow.”

          Taco, you let your CHILD ride with these automotively-obsessed, quaintly-accented, racism-adjacent gentlemen??? I am _shocked_.

          Adores: 1
  12. 2010 March 28
    Oh-Steve permalink

    I hate to ask, but is this poster near me? That is a pretty straight ’54 and would look great restored.

    Adores: 2
  13. 2010 March 28
    Bianchi Sound permalink

    It looks like a cat eating a turnip with a lampshade on it’s head to me!

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 March 28

      what does?

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 March 28
        christina permalink

        That cat over there, in the garden. No not the one by the carrots, the one in the turnip patch, see’em? The other one, with the lampshade on his head.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 March 28

          oh……right……..erm………..ok.

          Tea anyone?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 March 28
          Lola permalink

          I like cheesecake.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 March 28

          Me too!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 28

          Especially if it’s painted by Gil Elvgren!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 28
          Lola permalink

          I prefer Vargas, myself, Isaac, but to each their own.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 March 28

          Source of random sentence. Anyone?… Anyone?,,,

          OK, here you go.

          http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=4121#comment-30657

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 March 28

      Oh, Bianchi … minus 3 Ikes.

      It looks like a cat eating a turnip with a lampshade on it’s head to me!

      Let me fix that punctuation problem for you.

      It looks like a cat eating a turnip with a lampshade on. It’s Head to me!

      There. That’s better. You were referring to the Monkees movie, right?

      Adores: 3
    • 2010 March 28
      Bianchi Sound permalink

      Source of random sentence. Anyone?… Anyone?…

      OK, here you go.

      http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=4121#comment-30657

      Adores: 1
  14. 2010 March 28

    He tried to take a picture of his trucks but they were behind his monitor…

    Adores: 5
  15. 2010 March 28
    Astro permalink

    No, clearly it’s a failed attempt to satirize the obsession of the people with virtual worlds such as SecondLife.

    Or he’s off his rocker and lent his brain to Bubba Jim down the street.

    Adores: 1
  16. 2010 March 28
    Ryan permalink

    I don’t understand the point of taking a picture of another and posting it. When the buyer drops buy and says, “Where’s my crappy old truck” what does Sparky say? “Sorry I don’t have it can I still have the money?”

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 March 28

      Yes. That is exactly what happens.

      You see, there’s a disease you’re liable to catch if you frequent Craigslist enough, in which the infected believes that they can receive anything they desire all for the low, low price of nothing. No matter how much you try to convince the infected that they are “being ridiculous” or “an idiot”, they will continue to ask for these things. As we’ve seen here, some things the infected believe they will get include money, sexual favours, tattoos, the career of their dreams, or a new home/car.

      There is no known cure.

      However, I have something that can prevent this from happening to you! It’s this neat mask, that you wear over your face and arms. It allows you to keep all the smart in, without catching any nasty Craigslistian infections. I’ll sell it to you for $400, OBO.

      Adores: 5
    • 2010 March 28

      What if you show up with just a picture of the money?

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 March 28

        That wouldn’t work, however if you emailed him a picture of a picture of the money you would be set!

        Adores: 1
  17. 2010 March 28

    Maybe it’s just me, but I can see where he’s coming from. I’m restoring a ’56 F-100 with my father, and if you have a bad back it will most certainly prevent you from doing many things (lifting heavy objects, sanding, kneeling, etc.).

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 March 28
      christina permalink

      Yes ,that may be true ,but the issue with this beatiful mess of a listing has nothing to do with back problems ,you see what i am saying?

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 March 30
      jim-bob permalink

      I agree. Having restored several vehicles in my time, I can say that it is a hobby that is quite hard on your back. However, that is the least of the issues with this ad. The poor spelling, grammar and punctuation, coupled with the screen shot of another ad are what makes it YSAC material.

      Adores: 2
  18. 2010 March 28
    Snickers permalink

    The ridiculousness of the photo leads me to believe ‘back problems’ = Vicodin.

    Adores: 1
  19. 2010 March 28
    Jen permalink

    I’m really sorry, I’ve tried to avoid this all day, but it’s almost 4 o’clock, which is sillytime and I *have* been very restrained, and all day I’ve had an inside-head voice yelling out:

    Mater? I ‘ardly know ‘er!!

    *ahem* Sorry. I occasionally did this in Latin at school, too… that and proclaim ‘vescere bracis meis!’

    Adores: 7
  20. 2010 March 29
    Ladycrim permalink

    Love the “Cars” reference!

    “She only likes me fer my body …”

    Adores: 0
  21. 2010 March 29
    John S. permalink

    Maybe it’s one of those post-modern ‘meta’ things that’s so popular nowadays?

    Adores: 0

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.