YSaC, Vol. 626: Jesus may have risen, but my laundry is falling.

2010 April 4

Clothespin Jesus is Back – Just In Time for Easter! – $5


Hey Folks – Here we have Jesus on the Cross made of Wooden Clothespins. He was such a hit last year, he’s back! A very simple presentation.
Great in gift/Easter baskets or simply give as is with a nice greeting card – whatever works for you. Great teaching tool for Bible school too.

This item is locally made, not an import or mass-produced. They go quickly! Cash/Money Orders only. Local pick-up only.
$5.00 each, 2 for $9.50, 10 for $47.00. xxx-xxx-xxxx Thanks for looking and Happy Spring!

Happy Easter, everyone. Clothespin Jesus has risen.

I made them at Sheep Camp. All this needs is a BeDazzler and I’m going to be a bajillionaire!

Thanks, Sarah!

105 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 April 4
    Randomname permalink

    “He was such a hit last year,he’s back!”
    So enough people bought this fine piece of local art that he felt the need to make more?

    Adores: 5
  2. 2010 April 4
    lost_compass permalink

    This would be perfect, if it only had a little crown of thorns. Maybe a Rolling Rock bottle cap…

    Adores: 13
    • 2010 April 4

      Perfect! Wasn’t the Son of God around the age of “33″ when that rock got rolled?

      Adores: 11
      • 2010 April 4
        lost_compass permalink

        Brilliant! (It’s also appropriately symbolic of the innumerable times that a cold six-pack has been my savior.)

        Adores: 5
  3. 2010 April 4
    Windrose permalink

    Happy Easter to all who celebrate it, and since we probably have missed this year’s Clothespin Jesus sales, get your orders in now for next year!

    Adores: 3
  4. 2010 April 4
    Ed Snyder permalink

    He died on your line to save you from immortal soil.

    Adores: 36
  5. 2010 April 4
    penguin permalink

    The Easter Bunny left some bunny Peeps today. I think I may stash a few and let them good and stale. Next year, I’ll make clothespin bunny crosses. Should be a big seller.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 April 4
      Grampdaddy permalink

      Stale Peeps are the Greatest – they would never last long enough to make anything from, they get eaten.

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 April 4
      lost_compass permalink

      Save some to make Peepshi!

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 April 4
        CapnMac permalink

        Eek. Made me want sake, except it is bad manners to have sake with rice (unless one is baka gaijin).
        But, that then made me want kunsei sake, and today is a day for lox. And, I have none of that.
        Just remembered I have sparkling sake in the fridge. Not sure how well it would go with the easter quiche, though.

        Adores: 0
    • 2010 April 4
      sarajean80 permalink

      Best if roasted slowly over an open fire. Do it slow enough and the colored sugar turns into a crunchy shell to hold in the molten goodness. They do have a greater tendancy to self-immolate, though.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 April 4
        christina permalink

        This just begs me to ask:
        Should I add peppermint oil or crushed starlight mints if I wanted a minty shell?

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 April 4
          sarajean80 permalink

          Crushed mints, I think. The oil would likely catch fire, denying you any kind of shell, minty or otherwise.

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 April 4
        jackie31337 permalink

        I used to be a fan of microwaving Peeps. They get absolutely huge, but you have to catch them before they expand so much that they explode. I haven’t had Peeps in years because they contain gelatin and I’m a vegetarian. If only they made agar-based Peeps!

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 April 4
          Meej permalink

          Seconded.

          Boy, do I miss Peeps. Especially frozen Peeps.

          Adores: 1
  6. 2010 April 4
    Grampdaddy permalink

    This is excellent! Now I’ll have the complete set – Ash Allah, Balsa Buddha, Clothespin Christ, and all the other wooden deities.*

    This is way cooler than “Boy-Band” posters.

    *The complete set will be on CL in a year or two – look for “REliguS IkkanS – Priseless!! (Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah) $8.00 aech or all 10 for $89.95 – it’s a Mirucle. Call 666-6666.

    Adores: 26
    • 2010 April 4
      MissBeckett permalink

      Oh! Are you selling the boy-band poster and the wooden deities? I want them both! Your cat math seems to have a reasonable price for all 10… I’ll take them in a year or two.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 April 4
        Bianchi Sound permalink

        I’ll sell you my Paper Clip New Kids on the Block Collection for $20 each or all 5 for $150. Please send a picture of the shelf you will display them on so I can see if it is worthy or not.

        Adores: 9
    • 2010 April 4
      christina permalink

      Do you deal in exotics as well? I could use a Rosewood Ra and Almond Anubis to round out my collection.

      Adores: 7
    • 2010 April 4
      sarajean80 permalink

      If you rub Balsa Buddha’s belly for luck and get a splinter, is it good luck or bad luck to remove it?

      Adores: 8
      • 2010 April 4
        Grampdaddy permalink

        Removing it is bad luck unless you can explain the sound of one splinter being removed. The real goal is to become one with the splinter, to accept your splinterness in the world.

        By the way, I think Balsa Buddha Belly would be a super band name – next weekend at the 40 Watt.

        Adores: 4
      • 2012 April 8

        Isn’t getting a splinter bad luck anyway?

        Adores: 0
    • 2010 April 4
      CapnMac permalink

      I shudder to ask what the Ganesha is crafted from

      Or Quetzalcoatl, for that matter.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 April 4
        Ed Snyder permalink

        Goldenlarch Ganesha and Quince Quetzalcoatl. Not the easiest trees/shrubs to make crafts with, but my motto is: if it can be carved into a clothespin, it can be fashioned into a deity.

        Adores: 7
        • 2010 April 4
          CapnMac permalink

          Ah, quite.
          Could one presume Bubinga for Baron Samedi, then?

          (even if Honduras Mahogany might be a more apt macrophylla)

          Finished a deck using Ipè long, long ago, one of the carpenters wanted the scraps, I had no need for them. He whittled and turned butterfly clothespins from them and other scrap hardwood. Just to come full circle in a way. (If slightly worried that they might have become iconography later.)

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 April 4
        Canio6 permalink

        Queso Quetzalcoatl is a big hit at any fiesta. He does not look so great on the wall, but nothing says party time like this deity of dairy delight!

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 April 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          “Deity of Dairy Delight”, my new favorite phrase and nomination for band-name!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 April 5

          Stop! Corey Time!

          “Queso Quetzalcoatl” is of course actually something of a misnomer. The image of Quetzalcoatl is made of terra cotta; the queso is only in a fountain mounted on the top of the winged serpent’s head.

          Sorry for understanding.

          Adores: 10
  7. 2010 April 4
    MissBeckett permalink

    I will give this person some credit…at least they’re charging a reasonable price for them. And, it’s not like it’s only one, you know, to make them a “collectors item” (the only collector I see “collecting” it is the garbage man).

    Adores: 4
  8. 2010 April 4
    SpaceAged permalink

    Why does this Jesus have a gaping hole in his chest? I thought the holes were suppose to be in his hands and feet.

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 April 4
      Dan permalink

      set corey=”ON”
      Actually, the story has him being gouged in the side with a soldier’s spear. The cup used to catch the blood went on to become the holy grail. Doesn’t ANYONE watch Indiana Jones…er… serious theological discussion any more?

      Adores: 12
      • 2010 April 4
        penguin permalink

        I thought the Holy Grail was the cup used at the Last Supper. Or maybe I got that from Dan Brown.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 April 4
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          So what part of Jesus did the Holy Hand Grenade come from?

          Adores: 10
        • 2010 April 4
          christina permalink

          That’s what the H stands for; Jesus “Holy Hand Grenade” Christ.
          *Many apologies for offending those who might be offended.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 April 4
          CapnMac permalink

          what part of Jesus did the Holy Hand Grenade come from?

          The AntiOch.

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 April 4

        And the spear that jabbed him later inflicted (and then later cured) the wound of the Fisher King, who guarded the Grail.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 April 4
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Sorry Isaac, you seem to have confused the ‘Fisher King’ with the ‘Kingfish’, who starred with “Amos and Andy” (I just dated myself*) or perhaps with the former governor of Louisiana (Huey ‘Kingfisher’ Long). It is an understandable confusion based on their respective woods.

          *Figuratively, of course, not literally….

          Adores: 0
        • 2012 April 8

          Personally I like to think the gaping hole is His Holy (Huge) Bellybutton.

          Adores: 0
  9. 2010 April 4
    MrWhite permalink

    According to this new translation I picked up (Revised Sparky Version), when the women found the stone rolled away, and the tomb empty, that’s what the angels told them.

    “He was such a hit last year, he’s back!”

    Adores: 33
    • 2010 April 4

      i want you to know that this comment made my day

      Adores: 2
  10. 2010 April 4
    miss jo permalink

    Why do they say “Happy spring” at the end? Couldn’t bring themselves to wish us “happy Easter” after unleashing these travesties?

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 April 4
      christina permalink

      “HappySpring ” is the next product they’ll be selling, “upcycled” from the tension springs that had to be removed from the clothes pins, of course.
      Happy Spring’s* sharp wire edges make it a perfect gift for babies and toddlers.
      *Do not taunt Happy Spring.

      Adores: 14
      • 2010 April 4
        EclecticBlue permalink

        Do not use Happy Spring on concrete.

        Adores: 2
      • 2010 April 4
        sarajean80 permalink

        Do not expose Happy Spring to direct sunlight.

        Do not stare directly at Happy Spring. For the love of Clothespin Jeebus, DO NOT STARE!

        Adores: 10

        • 2010 April 4
          frigglesnitz permalink

          Do not get Happy Spring wet.

          Do not feed Happy Spring after midnight.

          Oh, wait; I think I’ve gotten Happy Spring confused with the Clothesline Mogwai that nice Mr. Wing’s grandson sold me…

          Adores: 5
        • 2012 April 8

          Happy Spring: do not bounce

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 April 4
      CapnMac permalink

      Wait, I thought Happy Spring was downstream from the ‘shine still.

      Oops, I mis-remembered, that’s Hoppy Spring.

      Adores: 1
  11. 2010 April 4

    Total Corey here-Happy Easter everyone!-end total Corey

    Adores: 0
  12. 2010 April 4

    On the whole, I think this is a pretty creative little crafts endeavor, and I can imagine Sunday-school kids having fun making a crop of Clothespin Jesi while all the pagans and heathens are hunting for eggs.

    But just between you and me, doesn’t the joining of the “torso” clothespins make Laundry Day Jesus look a little like He has a Vulva?

    Adores: 10
    • 2010 April 4
      sarajean80 permalink

      He does look like he’s carrying a bit more weight in his hips than I remember.

      Adores: 3
    • 2010 April 4
      Ed Snyder permalink

      “…doesn’t the joining of the “torso” clothespins make Laundry Day Jesus look a little like He has a Vulva?”

      That is why he is considered the joy of man’s desiring.

      Adores: 7
  13. 2010 April 4

    Can I use one of the clothespins to hold my nose?

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 April 4

      Just because he’s dead doesn’t mean that he smells like a corpse, you know.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 April 4
        Windrose permalink

        Whoa, Jesus is a zombie? That makes perfect sense!

        Adores: 1
      • 2010 April 5
        Bianchi Sound permalink

        @ Isaac- From the site you linked to- I pick “Famous Incorrupt Saints” as best band name of all time. OF ALL TIME!

        Adores: 1
  14. 2010 April 4
    christina permalink

    For those of you who might not be comfortable with the idea of clothes pin Jesus, but love the idea of laundry inspired holiday decor; next year I’ll be selling dryer lint Easter bunnies. $5 each or five for $30.

    Adores: 11
  15. 2010 April 4
    Bianchi Sound permalink

    The spelling is good… The punctuation doesn’t give you a headache… The math makes sense… The price is reasonable…

    It’s a f*@king craigslist Easter miracle!!!

    Adores: 24
  16. 2010 April 4

    If nothing else (which is exceedingly likely), “Clothespin Jesus” is a pretty solid name for a college garage band.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 April 4
      Windrose permalink

      Easter Matinee at the 40Watt, Clothespin Jesus performing their hits, “Lily White” and “You gotta keep ‘em Separated!”

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 April 4
        frigglesnitz permalink

        …from their hit album, “Fully Loaded & Off-Balanced” Heard the band’s spinning out of control, though.

        Adores: 3
      • 2010 April 4
        christina permalink

        Don’t forget:
        I’ll Tumble (dry, low heat) For Ya
        You Spin Me Round Like A Whirpool
        The Tide Is High

        Adores: 5
  17. 2010 April 4
    sarajean80 permalink

    Am I the only one questioning the idea of giving Clothespin Jesus as a greeting card?

    “Happy Thanksgiving – have a Clothespin Jesus!”

    “Sorry about the root canal – have a Clothespin Jesus!”

    “¡Quinceañera feliz – tiene una Pinza a Jesús! ”

    “Mazel tov on the Bar Mitzvah – have a Clothespin Jesus!”

    Well, maybe not that last one.

    Adores: 23
    • 2010 April 4
      Astrognash permalink

      Yeah, not the last one, but we do take Q-tip Stars of David. And tin foil Yarmulkes.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 April 4
        Windrose permalink

        Ooooo, tin foil Yarmulkes! They’re all the rage in Israel.

        Adores: 1
  18. 2010 April 4
    Ralph permalink

    The clothespin Jesus is OK, but I prefer the tampon Easter Bunny.

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 April 4
      miss jo permalink

      So. Very. Wrong.

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 April 4
      sarajean80 permalink

      So. Very. Hilarious.

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 April 5
      Jinx permalink

      Officially the end of teh Internets…. Wow.

      Adores: 0
  19. 2010 April 4
    Kalani permalink

    Ok, normally this site cracks me up, because it pokes fun at people being idiots publicly. But seriously, just because someone sells a simple craft that represents a religious icon on Craigslist does it make them deserving of ridicule? I’m not saying I’d buy it, but lots of people buy stuff that surprise me. It’s not like they’ve misspelled everything, put it in the wrong section, are doing illegal things badly, or talking about people dying on their furniture and staining it.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 April 5
      Jinx permalink

      It’s a Clothespin Jesus. It’s not anything superb like Not.A.Lion, or boy band posters. It’s CLOTHESPINS put together to form a shape. (Also note that all of these Jesi are lily white, just like the religious person from the middle east who became a zombie on this fine spring day.)

      What’s not to poke fun at?

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 April 5
      Bianchi Sound permalink

      ” Just because someone sells a simple craft that represents a religious icon on Craigslist does it make them deserving of ridicule?”

      Yes.

      Adores: 5
  20. 2010 April 4
    Windrose permalink

    Today is, understandably, a busy day for web bosses and posters alike. The Don’t Suck box has not been updated, and while I would gladly give Silva a week there just on general purposes, I feel that today needs a special touch. Therefore, as it’s 8:53 pm Pacific, I am going to award an honorary punch to EVERYONE who made comments today up until 10:00 PM Pacific. So delurk, decloak, come clean, and say anything at all.

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 April 5

      Sorry about that. I remembered at about 6 pm and decided that was too late.

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 April 5
      CapnMac permalink

      Well it is the time of Second Festivus, with the Airing of Grievances, Feats of Strength, and all.
      With the added fillip of Playing with Chemicals; and “Now Children, Pay Attention, This Is Fun!” and then the rituals of Gluttony, Greed, and Covetness By Children–all in the uncomfortable company of people we are related to but are really strangers.

      Ok, why more are not on the interwebs now might be a better question.

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 April 6
      Lola permalink

      DANG! And there I was off being religious (non-wooden, non-household-implement-fashioned Jesus, for anyone keeping track) and missing out.
      Story of my life.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 April 6
        mudslicker permalink

        Lola: The Missing Years

        Good thing the seller was kind enough to post a picture of what one of them looks like. I’m sure you could make an exact copy for the price of about $.05. Oh hell…make THREE and put them side-by-side—stuck into that science project volcano that I know you’ve still kept from grade school—and make yourself a Golgotha diorama.

        Tell Jesus I said “hi”.

        Regards,
        Barabas

        Adores: 1
  21. 2010 April 5
    Ruffin13 permalink

    Well, I don’t care if it rains or freezes,
    Long as I have my clothespin Jesus
    Riding on the clothesline of my yard
    Through all trials and tribulations,
    We will dry every nation,
    With my clothespin Jesus I’ll go far

    Windrose tempted me to delurk with the promise of a punch.

    Adores: 11
    • 2010 April 5
      Windrose permalink

      Ruffin13, please delurk more often! You belong here. 8)

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 April 5
        Ruffin13 permalink

        Thank you Windrose! I am nowhere near as clever and smart as the rest of you, but I do have the sense of humor to enjoy your comments to the max.

        Adores: 0
  22. 2010 April 5
    Windrose permalink

    Okay, that’s 10! Thank you for playing. (I don’t think I’ve seen the list this quiet in months!)

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 April 5
      miss jo permalink

      It’s mostly only on the quieter days that I can get a chance to comment. But, like so many, I’m always here watching…

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 April 5

        Creepy!

        Adores: 3
    • 2010 April 5
      sarajean80 permalink

      I had a thirteen year old boy hijacking my computer for most of the weekend. My nephew visited and found my old copy of Age of Mythology, which meant no computer time (or sleep, since the computer is in my bedroom) for Auntie SJ.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 April 6
        marn permalink

        Hey, SJ…our 14-yo nephew was with us for most of the weekend also, but he came with his own computer (these kids!) Was able to keep him (and my husband) occupied outdoors for nearly 5 hours doing science-y experiments with a block of dry ice…just an idea to keep in mind for future visits.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 April 6

          Yeah, SJ: next time he’s coming, stock up on Mentos and Diet Coke!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 April 6
          mudslicker permalink

          What? no science projects with pie charts and jelly beans?

          Adores: 0
  23. 2010 April 5
    screamer permalink

    Corey = Kalani??!!

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 April 5

      It’s a slightly different tenor of complaint with Kalani. Corey was all like, “You people don’t get how this is actually an accurate, correctly spelled ad, because you don’t know the insider culture I’m privy to.” Kalani is more like, “Let’s not make fun of people just because they do something on Craigslist. Let’s not make fun!”

      Kalani-Style pleading serves a useful purpose: it reminds us to keep our standards high. On the other hand, it kind of necessarily misses the point, because we’re not really here to mock people: we’re here to have funny conversations about funny (and often risible) things on Craigslist.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 April 5
        sarajean80 permalink

        We’re not here to mock people?

        *(sniffles)*

        I feel like someone just told me the FSM isn’t real.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 April 5

          Well, you know what I mean.

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 April 5
        Kalani permalink

        We’re not here to mock people?

        I was just pointing out that laughing at people for making terrible, obvious mistakes was funnier than laughing at them for starting a cottage business, even if we think it’s pointless. I mean, supposedly people are buying these things, right? If I could make something with clothespins and sell it for 5$ on the internet, I would consider that a major win.

        Whatever. move on.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 April 5
          B....... permalink

          Well Kalani, I for one assume that the Clothespin Jesus artist has a better sense of humor than you, and is laughing all the way to the bank….

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 April 5
          Windrose permalink

          Kalani, you are definately a better person than Corey in that you have a sense of humor, and are willing to let this go and move on. Please stick around. 8)

          Adores: 0
  24. 2011 April 25
    tigprincess permalink

    O holiest LlamaNun I’m so glad you resurrected this one. For years of YSaC I’ve been thinking its Clothe Spin Jesus and have had him in my mind in a tumbler drier. We here in England call these useful things Clothes Pegs …. hence the confusion.
    *I am still going to stick with my high speed spin vision, though* sort of JC meets St Catherine and gets some excess moisture issues.

    Adores: 2
  25. 2012 April 8

    Jesus loves me; this I know
    For the clothespins tell me so.
    These are not for importing.
    They’ll go quickly. Happy spring.

    Adores: 2
  26. 2012 April 8

    Our Sparky who’s “art” is clothespins
    Prophet be Thy game

    Adores: 3
  27. 2012 April 8
    christina permalink

    Ah, nothing like an Easter morning trip down memory lane, back when my snark wasn’t rusty from disuse.

    Adores: 1
  28. 2012 April 8
    LimeLolly permalink

    I had a Clothespin Jesus and sealed it in a box with the rest of the gang … today, I can’t find him. But I’m not worried, because He’ll come back. Hopefully, before I wash the next load of laundry.

    Adores: 4
  29. 2012 April 8
    One Moving Violation permalink

    HEY! Don’t dis the Clothespin Jesus or he WILL come back and hang you all out to dry.

    Happy Easter Everybody!

    Adores: 3
  30. 2012 April 8
    DigitalAxis permalink

    Clothespin Jesus died for your linens.

    Adores: 2
    • 2012 April 9

      And the bleachers went wild!

      Adores: 1
  31. 2012 April 9

    *engages remote control to roll rock away from entrance to box*
    Sister Lyle, DigitalAxis, Punchity Punch Punch! Dayenu!

    Good Morning, Chocolate Overindulgers Anonymous.

    Adores: 0

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