YSaC, Vol. 647: Ask your doctor if winter bagels are right for you.
i got a 1993 ford f150 xcab truck – $1500
i have a 1972 winterbagel for sale new fridge and genrator if no gentrar it will be less or no fridge it will be 1300 due the fact i put two new windows and altnater on it and belts and plugs wires and cap rotor oil change
Stephen sends this ad in, saying, “Warning: Consuming 38-year-old winter bagels may cause adverse reactions including confusion, vowel and punctuation deficiency, loss of shift key function, and blurry and/or double vision. If you experience any of these symptoms, discontinue use and contact your llama-nun immediately.”
Your friendly neighborhood llama-nun will likely advise you that the best course of treatment will be to browse your local Craigslist and submit any ads showing similar afflictions to her. Alternately, I’ve heard that clicking on ads will also help alleviate the problem.*
*This may not actually be true. Or legal.
Darn, I so wanted a summerbagel the same age as I am – winterbagels just aren’t the same (the weather gives them that freezery taste). So close, and yet, so … what the hell’s the lower left photo?
Lola, I’m guessing it’s an interior shot of the winter bagel. It vaguely reminds me of a mobile home interior where I spent some years as a recluse, waiting for my prince charming to come rescue me. 8)
I believe you’re correct, but … what is it that’s inside? I know that’s probably a window but it looks to me like a dilapidated fishtank on a set of shelves. Is it the genrator/gentrar?
Speaking of gentrars, that sounds like what you found – a nice guy (gent) who makes you go “rar!” (I was up too early and clearly not sufficiently caffeinated, so forgive me if that’s a bit of a stretch.)
*goes off to place CL ad for “gentrar” to gauge responses*
Gentrar is what Astro say’s when he’s about to sniff another dogs hind end.
That kind of makes it sound like like Windrose was rescued by a sexy and chivalrous centaur. Rar indeed!
So did the kids get wings or flanks or both? 🙂
Them’s fightin’ words, spammy!
Winter bagels are made from winter wheat, duh! Everyone knows that!
1972 was a very good year for winter bagels, nutty with a not to botulism like after taste…mmmm
And summerbagels are made from summer wheat? Most wheat has to be winter or spring to ripen in time. /corey I’ve never really heard of summer wheat.
Lola, more coffee for you this morning? Perhaps some Wheaties? 😀
Lola: In Soviet Russia, summer wheat never heard of you!
[corey]
Soviet Russia is probably who *bought* summer wheat all up!
When I was growing up in a place that predominantly farmed wheat, I learned that a large amount of the wheat produced and sold often went to Russia. All those conservative, Commie-hating farmers didn’t care who bought it as long as they paid in hard currency.
[/corey]
Tovaritchina, I thought in Soviet Rohdina, summer bagels you?
Or am i being over tri-triticale?
So, the new fridge still needed two windows, altnater, belts and plugs wires and cap rotor oil change? What happened to the Ford truck? Was he just bragging? We need to find this OP and get these issues clarified! *heads back to bed, confident the mission has been launched*
All that work, and the carpet still smells!
I was wondering that too. Do you suppose there’s a second add somewhere titled “i have a 1972 winterbagel – $1300” which includes a poorly spelled, grammatically inaccurate description, and blurry pictures of a ford truck?
I like that idea but think you’re giving this poster (or perhaps CL in general) entirely too much credit! ;D
Summerbagles are the fried ones, and winterbagels are suppossed to be the healthier ones. Although I still wouldn’t eat one that’s 38 years old.
I wonder if it’s filled with shrimp, pork, or is vegetarian? Oh, it’s filled with fridge and “genrator”. I wonder if those are veg?
As long as you still have your teeth, you’ll be okay on the winterbagel. But you’ll only be able to eat just one.
Oh, well if you can only have one, what’s the point?
It’s a transformer!
It goes from pickup truck to camper and it’s name is Winter Bagel. Some accessories are optional, like the fridge and genrator. Get it now before it figures out how to drive itself away!
Winterbagels … More than meets the eye!
Gentrars … Ford Trucks in disguise!
Enemies it fights against for world domination are Minty Hundays, and too many to list.
I think I saw the Minty Hundays play at the 40 Watt once.
(Even if I didn’t, that should be a band name.)
With that luxurious interior, I’d be worried about security. I hope this winterbagel has good lox.
Yeah, it’d butter.
If someone broke in to it, I’d cream cheese.
*heading to corner for time out*
You’ve made a terrible mess!
And unparallelled capers?
Is it an optical illusion or is the sink photographed twice? The winter view and the summer view? Why would anyone …*goes back under covers sucking thumb and dreaming of chocolate-covered David Tennant*
ah no, you see the second picture is there to ensure you don’t miss the incredibly important wires (replaced specially) that are hanging from the ceiling.
now, about this chocolate……….
I think I need more coffee, or just lessons from bacontini, topper, et al. When I deliberately try to use my other avatar I get the cat one, when I actually try for the cat one I dont always get it *sigh*
Perhaps it’s a catvatar issue. Like cat math, but with avatars.
Shhhhhh, catavar is the topology of the univers felinis
where Oneness and Void meet Play and sleep blessed Sleep
Where shape becomes meaningless, and solid bone, flows, artless, guileless, fluids into every lap’s contour and crevis; or across limb or bough Improbable.
To vanish though the octohexahedra to reappear, having achieved zanshin with the wallpaper in the front room, without the tedia of mere pedal ambulation.
Thus, the donut–sacred toriod–and coffee cup are one; give the cat a treat!
Sic semper felinis
Cap’n – couldn’t have said it better myself. Probably couldn’t have said it at all, no matter how hard I tried.
Capn,
your knowledge of the cativerse is truly fantas…..no, hang on, that was Nine’s word….brilliant!
Theory: These are “action shots” taken while the winterbagel was in motion.
Sidenote: Side question, really: don’t these things usually have the name emblazoned across the side? Does it really say WINTERBAGEL in huge letters on this vehicle???? Or did our lovely poster buy his glasses at the dollar store?
… and his camera, too.
[corey]The name is normally posted on the outside and frequently somewhere on the inside as well. The title would also give the name and model.[/corey] This one’s apparently filled with water or some sort of blue gelatin dessert though, so that might explain why they couldn’t read it. It’s on the bottom of a lake and the first photo is the “before” shot.
Hmmm. Interesting ad today. Grammarly! Correct grammar mistakes and plagiarism now. And it’s free! This could mean the end of YSaC as we know it. *keeps straight face with difficulty*
Still no cure for bad photography, asshats, and general ew, so I think the Llama-Nun and Ostrimu’s positions are secure.
General Ew and Major Yuck leading the assault on my cool.
Am I the only one who wants to sing the title of this CL ad to the tune of “I got a brand new pair of roller skates, you got a brand new key”?? I mean it almost works. Kinda. If you’re on acid. Not that I’m on acid or anything. *looks innocent*
After all, that song *was* popular right around the time when this ’72 winter bagel was still fresh and full of doughy goodness. It sort of fits the theme.
I’m still confused as to how the pickup truck fits into the equation, and I don’t think this can be solved with cat math. Maybe it’ll make sense if I take more drugs. After all, it worked when I watched “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas” for the first time.
Weeellll… it’s not the key to my heart, so I’ll pass on this offer.
Woofless sez: ” I don’t think this can be solved with cat math.” Ah, but it can, as long as you remember to exclude the dog dimensions and warm the catulator in a sunny window for 35-40 minuets. This will fire up the ol gent-rar (at least for pre 73 catulators) and away you go wiff a bang.
I agree. With the right amount of fresh kibbles and the correct button combination, EVERYTHING can be solved with Cat Math.
CJ, what’s the answer? Your catculator is better than mine.
The F150 is for towing the winnerbager about.
But is there really a WINNER here?
We have met the winners, and they are we?
(with due apologies to Walt Kelly)
I’ve just had the epitome of ‘That’s So Ironic’ occur.
Hubby requested a tuna fish sammich with cheese. The only bread-like substance available…. a bagel. Winner!
(referring to above post)
I mean : ‘That’s so Humorous’
Okay.. so apparently I was still suffering from the effects of that special alkyholic drink that I imbibed on Saturday night. All I know is, I woke out of a dead sleep cursing myself out for writing ‘that’s so ironic’ . Demmed English teacher in my head! Apologies to you all for abusing the English rules. 😀
“….genrator if no gentrar…. ”
It’s a special brand of suckosity to misspell the same word twice in a four word stretch.
It’s both incedibly idiotic and increadiably sad.
Excellently meta comment, DelVec. (May I call you DelVec? You’re from Jersey and practically a neighbor, after all.)
Danke.
And but of course.
My exegesis.
i have a 1972 winterbagel for sale
Which part of Win NEE BAY goh or Win na bah GO can you not pronounce?
Did you stenographer mis-hear you? You could not stop eatin carmel corn long enough to read the copy off to the “libarian”?
new fridge and genrator if no gentrar it will be less
Ok, “generator” has four syllables, which is a lot while chew’n a Twix bar, but, most folks either stop before the long “A” sound with the dental “T” afterward, or only stress the last. Thus, it’s a “genset” a “jenny” (which is also a mule, and a long-standing term for a farm power supply), or even a “j’ RAYt or”.
Oh my, I’m guessing the poor ‘libarian’ was squinting as her eyes watered, so that worthy was trying to finish quickly so you’d stop spitt’in on the floor
or no fridge it will be 1300
So the self-powered electrical current generator has no specific value, but the fridge is $200?
due the fact i put two new windows and altnater on it and belts and plugs wires and cap rotor oil change
Yeah, ok, that’s a confusing mix of things to do to a fridge.
The catamount math here is staggering.
But, I’m stealing “cap rotor oil” to go with “relative bearing grease” “board stretcher” “1/2 inch load water line” and the like.
Ok, but, let’s allow that Spackle here is really making a legitimate effort to sell the RV he’s put extry winnars an awl an fixt the ‘nitshun anawl, and a workit fidge an gerrato in. That is well and good, but what is the powerplant? How is the tittle? the regisrashun? The tars, O the humanity, the tars?
O pray, dear editirx and editor, can Lola have missed this, that it’s in darkest King Maine?
Cue very scary musio in an extra sinister minor key.
The world is a small, small, place.
Life, mysteries, horrors, and the like are all terribly cyclical.
Could this be the sceond owner of the
“camper in the woods” from only a short time ago?
Sparky could now be a minion of the zombie RV (the brain damage would explain so much). And this is nothing but that tattered remnant of Sparky trying to free himself from the horror the horror.
It sound to me like he’s saying there will be a discount if there is no generator or fridge. How would he not KNOW if there was a generator or fridge? Is he going to steal his neighbor’s winterbagel? That would explain how he doesnt know; his neighbor was beating the living daylights out of him when he took them, and the concussion prevented him from remembering appliances or how to spell words.
Well clearly, this quite chilly baked good is intended to be a subliminal message. He’s selling the RV as a nuclear bunker (nuclear winter) but only if you’re a Jew (we invented them, after all).
Or, it could be a misrepresented collection of these rubber dinosaurs and other figurines that were the #1 Google Images result for winterbagel.
Even more alternately, it could be a camper stolen from this guy.
I’ll take it!
Being lead-lined, It’ll be fairly hard to tow.
Well clearly, this quite chilly baked good is intended to be a subliminal message. He’s selling the RV as a nuclear bunker (nuclear winter) but only if you’re a Jew (we invented them, after all).
Or, it could be a misrepresented collection of these rubber dinosaurs and other figurines that were the #1 Google Images result for winterbagel.
Even more alternately, it could be a camper stolen from this guy.
Not sure exactly what just happened, but I appear to have double-posted.
Adore. The post that keeps on giving.
And taking. Taking our sanity.
Well, somebody’s gotta keep the Funny Farm in business.
Those white self-hugging coats are so comforting during the harsh winter bagels.
More benzedrine balls in my hot cocoa, please!
Can I have the chocolate-malted benzedrine, please?
One malt with Sta-Puft marshmallows, extra Benzedrine sprinkles, some minty leaves and Hesrsches Chocolate syrup, sans David Tennant.
I wish to know nothing of David Tennant’s chocolate/benzedrine balls!
Conga-rats-elation, Gramp. That is one of very few times that someone has out-perved me!
I am SO honored – I think. Perhaps due to my chronological status and well-warped sense of ….. something.
WALDORF!!!!!
Is that not the worst ending comment ever? It just looks stupid all alone down here.
HHNF – just maintain it was meant to show up somewhere else – “Wow, what is going on with the postings? I submitted that back in October and it just showed up here!” :>)
But you saved it, and that was worth an Adore.
Ok, double kudos to GD, one for getting in there to express that Mr Tennant’s attributes be ceded entire to the those distaff readers desires.
Second, for putting the late Issac Hayes as Chef on South Park in my head as an earworm.
PS, yet another “leapy” reply, this was meant (and clicked) from HHNF’s comment. [tosses more liversnaps into the firmament; will go scratch ears anon]
It’s always good to double-check your work, ‘specially if you haven’t updated your kibble in the catulator.
I wonder what he’ll do when the time comes to sell his beloved Beagle during a harsh winter.
Is anyone else absolutely terrified of what may be in the fridge? Tons of bagels from the Hannukah of 72? Bodies?
It isn’t the Hannukah bagels I’d worry about, it’s whether or not there’s any whitefish spread left. I don’t like it even under the freshest of circumstances, but after 38 years, it is probably sentient and inventing tools now that it’s mastered that fire thingy. Do not approach without a flamethrower, a plexiglas shield, and a hazmat suit.
Check in the storage below the sink – I’m guessing there is some antique cereal and at least one virgin can of Crisco. Sell those off and you’ll cover the cost of the frigidater and the generalrat-thing.
Darn, I was hoping for Extra Virgin Crisco.
Extra Virgin costs more – something to do with aging.
Yes, but it’s worth the extra cost.
Extra virgin, touched for the very first tiiiiime.
Extra virgin, got your pie crust on my miiind.
My catulator came up with this:
Winterbagel = Wintergreen + bagel = Minty sammich.
That looks right.
PS- How the hell did my post end up here? I was after about 10 other posts.
Mine keep ending up strange places, too. Maybe we have found a tear in the space/time continuum? A flaw in the internets? I’m scared, Bianchi. Scared and intrigued.
Maybe if we divide the winterbagel by 0? No, that seems redundant…
You left out the generfrigiderator in your catulation. The answer remains the same (obviously correct), but shows up in the wrong place. You need to either add the frigenerfrigedator in after the wintergreen, or subtract the wintergreen from the winter wheat, leaving you with green wheat times windows and cap/rotor.
Again, this doesn’t change the answer, but helps it across the space-time continuum into the 4D Taurus backseat.
Exceptional math skills, by the way!
Yes, but did you remember to multiply the Winter Wheat by 5 to the power of Fancy Feast?
Winter wheat x 5 only applies during months that end in ‘W’ – it’s a common confusion.
Oh, I forgot. I take Catgebra II next semester, you see.
So, does the Quasi-Pseudo-Coreyan Theorem (if A-Squared + B-Squared = D-Squared, then D-Squared must be in Farsi after being translated into ancient Chinese with Babelfish, and therefore must be taken apart and put back together again in English) apply?
Well, that seems to be obvious, but it does introduce a whole new field of variables. Have you considered the possibility that the new sinks are extra virgin, with integral disposals? You might also want to consider the alternative theorem (Kwazi – suede-coriane — Same general idea, but with a more luxurious pileand an easier to clean finish.)
Babelfish…. Yum, tunafish sammiches.
Gee, thanks for asking. I haven’t played farsi-cheesi in years. I think I might have lost all the little pieces, though.
Let’s check with the Transient Property of Moar Equality:
If Winterbagel=Wintergreen+Bagel and Minty Sammich=Wintergreen+Bagel, then Minty Sammich=George Harrison Finger Puppet.
Yup, it looks like your math checks out.
That reminds me…I’ve been meaning to change the oil in my cap rotor. Or was that the rotor oil in my cap?
Commo Tech looked over my shoulder (who “[H]as kin in’t t’hills”) and suggested that this is not internally descriptive, but a stream-of-consciousness serial listing.
So, it’s 13-hunnert OBO, for a minty RV shell; a fridge possibly with a ‘fridge generator’ (a refrigerant pump), less without the spare; then there are two windows; an alternator; a set of belts and wires (could also be extension cords); and a gimme hat from the last oil change. And the extended cab of a Ford F-150 truck, too.
I sent the lad for four quarts of cap rotor oil care of the Senior Chief, who will probably insist that the lad go to the SMaj for carbon black paper–which, given the deviousness of this lot, will result in some manifestation of cat math expressed with tinker-toys, erector sets and Lincoln logs, with an instruction set to make Rube Goldberg feint.
Woah. Replied at end, it inserted after Larry, and I know Astro and Lime had both posted before I started.
Perhaps Lola has rent the cativerse.
Mr Scott, I.Need.Liver.Treats.Now! Or.We.Are.All.Going.To.Die!
(Oh, and page Walt Koenig, too)
It isn’t me! I noticed the comments had gone a bit wonky but not any of mine. Stop judging me, y’all!
You admitted (if eariler, and under completely separate cover) to disloging the cat.
You then utterred the words of attention that cross the etheral membranes of the spheres.
In short,
You thought of the Sta-Puft marshmellow man.
It is now fell and mete upon us, we few, we happy few, in Thyme to our necks, to hurl treats in supplication (preferably in virtual form, or it will get messy)
[trebuchetes salmon Greenies; O how the teeth will gleam this’eve]
You know, I think we need a new tag for vehicular ads. Kind of like the possibly awesome tag, but instead, would read “possibly minty”.
Woah. This wasn’t a reply to anything. It was just to be appended at the end. And yet, it goes above a post made earlier than it.
SOMEBODY GET THE CATNIP AND THE YSaC ELECTRIC BLANKET, QUICK!
AND NOTIFY THE LLAMA-NUN AND FIND A MINTY FIRETRUCK FOR SALE ON CL! POSSIBLE IMPENDING CATIVERSE ASSPLOSION!
Senior Chief has weighed in, the titel of the ad is boast and explanation.
Sparky got the F-150 extended cab. So, Sparky no longer needs his winter bagette-a-terre, but needs to get the appliances and auto parts out of the bed of the truck so his cot can take their place d’honeur, tete d’bagette d’ete, as it were (but non tres rapide).
Mon dieu, the SYMC c’est afflictè about the head and neck, something about morte d’ceour avec snark or some such. J attendez vous. What atrocious accent? Why i learnt all my françois for Henry V; is that not how one does such things? Well, what sort of hillbilly argot is it that requires all those letters if one is not to pronounce them. That twitching is becoming quite alarming, Senior. Huh? “J’accuse denoment denouncement”? Isn’t that a new single on the pop charts?
Oy, for want of lox and a bagel, a Hesrsch was sent to the Borders.
(Technical note, this was in Reply to the Benxendrine malt comment.)
whut.
Random Punching! Anyone who makes a comment between now, 8:45 PST and whenever I leave for the evening will get PUNCHITY PUNCH PUNCHED! But that’s not all! You might expect to pay elebenty, brazilian, catnips for the honor, but today only IT’S FREE! Please note that punches at YSaC are taxable in some states. This offer does not apply to the employees of YSaC and Industrial Light and Magic. Void where prohibited. This side up. Dry clean only. Your mileage may vary. See the carton for details. And defeets.
I’m a masochist! Punch me!
Punch, HHNF!
Not the face!
Thanks, I feel like I cheated or something.
Dang it, right while i was on the road getting home again, too.
At least the Reply box is not attempting to hide the current cursor location, which makes scanning what one has typed a tad more exciting than is generally wont.
Kudos to all for catmath catulations and Shakespeare references although the higher applied catmath rule 665 always applies on Sundays when there is a ‘y’ in the day. For those who were gazing out at the clouds during that lesson rule 665 is (favourite actor)x(favourite food) + 264 = favourite quote or saying + elebenty sammiches. *sent from hospital. Morpine in evidence. My next book will be Revenge of the Perforated Appendix. Whimpers. *
In honor of, and with respect to, the Princess of the Tiger, and in light of the appendix’s morphine infusion (been there, done that –OUCH!) I would like to suggest “Revenge of the Perforated Appendix” as the Grunge Band of the Day.
All those in favor, please click on the link below, or send relevant personal identification to the poster of this message. I promise no harm will come to your identity and/or bank account, and this message does not contain a virus. No, really, it doesn’t – you can trust me about that.*
*May not be true, legal, or even well-advised under any circumstances.
I’m left behind a bit puzzled with his 17 year old Ford Pick-Up. Obviously, he has one. But then?
a) Does he want to sell it, together with his 38 year old camper, for $1500 (each?) -or $1300 without the new fridge & generator but 2 new windows & a new alternator?
b) Does he not just have a 17 year old Ford Pick-Up but also $1500 cash randomly lounging around?
c) Does he want the $1500 from someone/us just because he has a 17 year old Ford Pick-Up, you know, as some kind of a reward for having it? Not that this is a big skill in my eyes, but I just might have a bit high claims in people.
As for the camper, I can only imagine that he once called it ‘Winterbagel’ out of a joke, and then his mind got a bit blurry -like his camera skills- and he started thinking it really is called ‘Winterbagel’ and not ‘Winnebago’. For what reason, though, I can’t imagine…
Winterbagel fridge
Russia summerbagels you
Shakespeare reference here