YSaC, Vol. 675: He rocks in the treetops all day long.

2010 May 23

Oh hai, how are you? It’s been a while. Dan’s been doing admirably while I’ve been busy, but I’ve missed you all. I think it’s time that I jump in with an old classic …

ROCKING LION – $30


MY KIDS LOVE THAT ROCKING LION,,IT IN GOOD SHAPE,,HAS FEW SCRACHES ON WOOD,,ITS REALL STURDY PIECE, ,ROCKS BACK AND FORT,,ASKING $30,,ITS SMOKE//PET FREE..

My kids love it so much that I’m selling it on Craigslist. The little bastards have to learn disappointment somehow. I mean, I didn’t ASK to end up in a dead-end job at the Shop-n-Rob down on the corner of Service & Hwy 127, did I? I didn’t ASK to get pregnant at 17 and drop out of school before I learned what commas were for. I didn’t ASK for the world’s ugliest rug in my living room. But yet I ended up with all of these things, and I’m going to teach my children that sometimes, you just don’t get what you want. And they love this stupid lion thing; they rock back and forth on it all day long and tell me that they’re riding the tiger across the plains. I laugh at them as I open another can of Pabst and tell them, “It’s a lion, honey. Don’t backtalk me, Mommy’s watching Geraldo reruns.”

There’s only one thing that a kid loves more than a rocking lion, and that’s …

LION — SELF-INFLATES !!! BIG BLOW UP LION – $7


LION — SELF-INFLATES !!! BIG BLOW UP LION

What a treat for any child is this big, 4ft. tall blow up lion and it inflates itself.
AND it lights up.!!! what fun!!!!

$7.00

Smoke/pet free home.

… a self-inflating lion! From everyone’s favorite childhood classic, Winnie the Pooh and the Self-inflating Lion Too! Your children will marvel at Lion as he … does absolutely nothing, until he springs a slow leak and gradually deflates into a depressing puddle of polyvinyl and phthlates.*

Thanks, Kathryn and, er, Katherine!

* I’m not charging extra for the alliteration today.

104 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 May 23
    Windrose permalink

    Mummy always wanted to be a lion keeper at the zoo. She wanted to be in charge of stamping the animals with “Property of The Zoo” when they were little. But she failed the basic identification part of the quiz. Such a touching story. *inflates another lion* Oooo, pretty lights!

    Adores: 14
    • 2010 May 23
      Grampdaddy permalink

      I wonder if the Not.A.Tigger. can hold up a disco ball? Then there would be pretty lights AND shiny, sparkli… Wow, look at the chicken!

      Adores: 13
  2. 2010 May 23
    Lola permalink

    Re: 2d ad: The character’s name is a giveaway! I can’t read it on the packaging but it’s GOT to say “Tigger” on there somewhere.

    I hope this “I don’t freakin’ believe it” factor is not a harbinger for the rest of my day … I’m going back to bed and hoping for a do-over later.

    Adores: 18
    • 2010 May 23

      You beat me to the punch on that. Although lately I’ve been noticing discount “Disney” merchandise stores popping up in vacant strip mall spaces that have an aura of shadiness (think Rolexx salesmen in your neck of the woods). I wouldn’t be surprised if this was a bootleg toy that actually listed the animal as a lion.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 May 23
        Pen permalink

        Actually, those are suprisingly legitimate. Disney manufactures so much crap each year that they quietly sell the excess items in makeshift shops like that. How else are you going to sell coffee mugs with 2008 plastered all over them?

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 May 23

          I see, so that’s where all the Hanna Montana stuff ends up now that Justin Beiber is their new It Girl.
          *Y’all may want to confirm this with Taco Magic since he is the resident HM expert.

          Adores: 9
    • 2010 May 23
      Grampdaddy permalink

      Dear Lola – have to agree. First reading of the ad lead to “What the heck (you know what I meant) is the matter with these people!” In hope of having things improve, I’m going back to bed with you, Lola.

      IMMEDIATE edit: Ummm, need to change that last line to read “I’m going back to bed also, like you.”

      *sheepish grin, whistling nonchalantly*

      Adores: 14
      • 2010 May 23
        Lola permalink

        Grampdaddy, I was not worried, unless you suddenly transmogrified into my cat! ;)

        christina, I, too, have seen suspiciously-packaged, probable-copyright-violation items sold, essentially, out of the back of a truck around my parts, so the chance that this says “Disney” but not “Tigger” on it is not impossible.

        Adores: 1
      • 2010 May 23
        Windrose permalink

        Grampdaddy, I am beginning to suspect something about you. 8) I suspect you have been doing too much drinking alone. Maybe Lola, Meredith, christina, and I should put an ad in some on-line place where you can put ads, and find you a drinking companion.

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 May 23
          CapnMac permalink

          Might explain why I find so much in common with GD (barring generations of issue)

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 23
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Nope, never drink alone – I’ve always got me with myself. That way I can carry on a pleasant conversation.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 May 23
          meredith permalink

          ooooh, you coulda come along with me this morning, that’s for sure. Went to brunch with the “man”. Had many mimosas. He made me cry. Typical Sunday brunch.

          Next time, I will take along Grampdaddy instead, and we shall wax poetic on Not-A-Lions vs. Self inflating Not-A-Lions. The mimosas are included.

          Adores: 11
        • 2010 May 23
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Oh, Dear Meredith,

          Thank you for your kind invitation – I sorely regret that it was the result of tears. If e’er you are looking for me, I will be in a secluded booth, wearing a bird-of-paradise tucked coyly behind my left ear…

          GD

          Adores: 7
        • 2013 May 19
          nojazzhere permalink

          Windrose- I realize this question is a little off-topic, but could you explain your phrase, “too much drinking alone”? Sounds like Esperanto gibberish to me.

          Adores: 1
        • 2013 May 19

          No-Jazzy, by “too much drinking alone” I meant more than twice per day. 8) At least, if I remember correctly that is what I meant back then. I have slept in the intervening time, so my memory may not be perfect.

          Adores: 0
        • 2013 May 19
          CapnMac permalink

          NJH,

          We have a meme of sorts here, in that dealing with the friction of being sapient among the sparkii requires relief by way of adult beverages.

          Which expresses itself in several ways, (much missed) Lola’s Bag-of-Holding Flask
          being one of those.

          The fact that a number of “us” must needs recuse themselves from intoxicants of one kind or another doe not diminish the meme. Which is one of the particular joys of our gemütliche sammlung here.

          Quite a few of us here “brain” for a living, and a significant portion “brain” for fun, too. Which means that being around the not merely less, but actively anti-sapient can be right painful.

          Adores: 1
  3. 2010 May 23

    So what is the name of that character in the second ad? Lioon? Lioner? Liggles? Not.a.Lionel?
    I’ve come to grips with the fact that education has hit an all time low, but I can’t wrap my head around this. It takes a special kind of stupid to parse “lion” from “Tigger”, which is written on the dang box.

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 May 23

      Considering the school system has steadily deteriorated, what scares me is that the person that wrote it probably graduated at least a few years ago, if not a decade or more…

      Then again, I learned way back in ’02 that even in my upper middle class suburb, made-up words like “analization” had become the norm in college freshman essays rather than the exception. (I eventually started grading on entertainment value, since we weren’t allowed to give the little twits less than a C if they did the work.)

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 May 23

        Are you in TX by any chance? Current school board news aside, we’ve had our fair share of rules about grades here that make no sense to me. Apparently Dallas ISD has a “no fail” policy.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 May 23
          Lola permalink

          Ah, that’s the practice otherwise known as social promotion! Doesn’t work … even with that, the NYC public school grad rate was abysmal. I’m rather glad I don’t have children right now because I honestly don’t know what I would do about their education.

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 May 24
        tigprincess permalink

        Hey Xyzzy grading on entertainment value – now why wasn’t that around when I was (allegedly) delivering education? It would have solved all my problems.

        As for the posters, as a definite Not-A-Lion, I’m wondering if there is some way of finding their addresses then mauling them and leaving a small note “mauled by a lion”. That way they’d never find me ..he,he,he. *goes off grinning in a stealthy animal way*

        Adores: 2
      • 2010 May 24
        WendyBear permalink

        Ok, you have me laughing way too hard for work at “analization.” You know where my brain went, it’s YSaC!

        And as a purveyor of edumuckation my own self, I’m sad, too.

        I understand texting. I personally text in complete sentences, whole words and all.

        These particular not.a.lion ads make me cry. Ok, not really… just make me shake my head.

        Adores: 1
  4. 2010 May 23

    The wonderful thing about Not.A.Lions
    Is Not.A.Lions are wonderful things.
    Their exteriors are made of vinyl
    Their interiors filled with air.
    They’re
    Bouncy,
    Flouncy,
    Floaty,
    Bootlegged,
    Fun, fun, fun, fun, FUN!!!

    The wonderful thing about Not.A.Lions
    Is I’m the only one

    I’m the only one !

    Adores: 37
    • 2010 May 23

      While I do believe that you are Not.a.lion, I’m not convinced that you are the only one. Here is my cat math proof:
      [198X(Fingerhut Catalog+gallon jug of Gallo white zin)]*(housewife: soap opera/30something)=200Xcl ad: Lion pictures $100 each or 3 for $500

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 May 23
        Grampdaddy permalink

        Depends – did you use the “White” white zin, the “Red” white zin, or an alternate white zin. The results are proportionate to the square of the letters in the label divided by pitch of the screw threads on the cap of the bottle.

        Or you could just use prune juice… and Metamucil.

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 May 23

          Well crap, let’s switch it to Reunitti on ice (so nice!), take away 30 Something and replace it with Moonlighting. There, now the answer is not.a.lion rug and picture set, vintage prune juice not included.

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 May 23
        Grampdaddy permalink

        Bravo! Well catulated and bravely spoken – you have done well and are now awarded the not.a.lion, not.a.certificate – award. Oh, and sammiches.

        Adores: 5
  5. 2010 May 23

    If you were a supervillain trying to steal America’s gold reserves, or a warlord besieging a walled compound, you might want a Lion that could rock your back and rock a fort.

    Adores: 12
  6. 2010 May 23
    GrahamT permalink

    Don’t look now… http://reno.craigslist.org/bab/1743131118.html

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 May 23
      Windrose permalink

      Auuughghghghg! She’s teaching very young children! She must be stopped! Everyone, reply to the ad and tell her it’s Not.A.Lion. The future of America depends upon it!*

      *okay, there is no truth to this whatsoever. 8/

      Adores: 2
  7. 2010 May 23
    MandaB permalink

    Hey y’ll I t’hink” i’ve ”’found my’ twin”’. We were”’ s’eparated’ at b’i'r’t'h’,,,’

    If you need me i’ll be in the corner, rocking on my zebra. He’s big and gray with a long nose and floppy ears.

    Adores: 13
    • 2010 May 23
      Camille permalink

      And his name is… Zeeyore?

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 May 23
        Grampdaddy permalink

        Nope – Eyezore…

        Adores: 12
      • 2010 May 23
        MandaB permalink

        Nope… His name is Dimbo.

        Adores: 7
        • 2010 May 23

          Closely named for the owner-Bimbo

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 23
          MandaB permalink

          Are you implying I’m a bimbo because I – oh crap – broke a nail. Ummm….what was I saying?

          Adores: 6
  8. 2010 May 23
    Grampdaddy permalink

    I have always argued that Disney had devalued and distorted the old classic tales, which is why we now have “Ligger the Lion”. Other characters?

    Winnie the Poop

    Eeyore, the Misanthrope

    Kanga and Roo cross-dressing set

    The Velveteen Rabbit Skin

    Slush Grey and the 7 Homies

    Cinderelaphant (comes with extra long trunk)

    Mickey Moose and What, the Duck

    The Little Marmalade

    Jethro the Dragonbot

    *walks away muttering, “Too early for liquid refreshment from the freezer”*

    Adores: 18
    • 2010 May 23
      Lola permalink

      No, it’s not too early. It’s the weekend, which means that screwdrivers, Bloody Marys, and mimosas are OK for brunch. :D

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 May 23
        meredith permalink

        ::HIC:: Good thing, too. I don’t think I’ve had enough. Can someone pass me a cuppa?

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 May 23
          Lola permalink

          Here you go …
          Oh, sorry. That’s Not.Tea in the flask.

          Here’s your cuppa.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 23
          Meredith permalink

          Not.Tea is fine with me. In fact, I think I’m gonna head to the fridge for some Wild Blue blueberry beer. It’s so fulla berries, it’s PURPLE!

          It’s also 9.8% abv per bottle. Not bad for a beer ::Hic::

          Adores: 3
    • 2010 May 23
      lost_compass permalink

      My favorite part of Winnie the Poop is when he and Turdlet try to catch the Heffadump, and Bowel thinks it unwise.

      Adores: 34
      • 2010 May 23
        GrahamT permalink

        Bloody brilliant.

        Adores: 1
      • 2010 May 23
        meredith permalink

        adore!

        Adores: 1
  9. 2010 May 23

    Okay, I think I’ve figured it out. Like “handicap” and “midget”, “Tiger” is now considered an offensive term. We’re not superior, we’re inconsiderate.
    Al Sharpton hates us.

    Adores: 12
  10. 2010 May 23
    Lola permalink

    Is anyone else even more amused than usual by drmk’s mom-monologue based on the first ad? It’s the Pabst reference at the end that sells it for me.

    Adores: 8
    • 2010 May 23
      GrahamT permalink

      Honestly, it just made me miss my mom a little. :P

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 May 23
        Lola permalink

        She’s a PBR and PBJ mom? Aw, that’s sweet!

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 May 23

          I’ll tell you what, her Hawaiian Punch really packed a punch.

          Adores: 4
  11. 2010 May 23
    Windrose permalink

    Hooray! lost_compass’ ballad made it to the Don’t Suck box! Happy happy, joy, joy! 8)

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 May 23
      lost_compass permalink

      *eyes empty hunny pot*

      I don’t suppose that instead of a punch, I could get some lunch?

      Adores: 10
      • 2010 May 23
        meredith permalink

        DON’T EAT OUT OF THAT POT!!! You don’t wanna know what Winnie the Poop used that empty pot for. Put it down slowly and back away. Trust me.

        Adores: 12
        • 2010 May 23

          They don’t call them Honey Buckets for nuthin.

          Adores: 4
  12. 2010 May 23
    Bridgete permalink

    WELL before I ever read this blog, my dad got himself a tattoo. It’s a Not.A.Lion. And he got it because he’s a Leo. I seem to remember him showing me and telling me why and I said, “But Dad…Leo is the lion. That’s not a lion.” Thankfully, he did know that…he just liked it better than the lion options.

    And while we’re on the subject of tattoos…guess what Disney character I have! I’ll give you a hint…it’s Not.A.Lion.

    Adores: 12
    • 2010 May 23
      meredith permalink

      I think I love your dad.

      Adores: 3
  13. 2010 May 23
    MandaB permalink

    “,,ITS SMOKE//PET FREE”

    1) I’m terrified at the thought of a smoking not.a.lion. Do you think he smokes Camels?

    2) If you were not.a.lion and you DID have a pet, what would it be?

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 May 23
      Grampdaddy permalink

      Lunch…

      Adores: 15
    • 2010 May 23
      Laurelhach permalink

      I think a not.a.lion would smoke Gazelles.

      Adores: 4
  14. 2010 May 23
    Bridgete permalink

    Hey kids! Get your very own Not.A.Lion inflatable Disney character, with friends soon to follow: Not.A.Panda, Not.A.Boarlet, Not.A.Walla, Not.A.By, Not.A.Nightingale, Not.A.Zebra and, of course, Not.A.Hare.

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 May 23
      MandaB permalink

      I’m a day late and more than few dollars short, but I saw you are done with Law School. Congrats! Your snark appears to be recovering nicely! Best of luck prepping for the bar – we will be here to provide you with snark infusions if necessary.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 May 24
        Steph permalink

        IF necessary? I believe you mean “when,” permaybehaps.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 24
          Bridgete permalink

          Oh yes…”when” is the correct term. And thanks! =)

          Adores: 0
  15. 2010 May 23
    Kae permalink

    For some reason, dr.mk’s momologue is making me think of Ray Bradbury’s “The Veldt.” The mom has to get rid of the tiger because she fears that the children are overbonding with it and planning to feed her to it.

    Adores: 9
  16. 2010 May 23
    CapnMac permalink

    [having a bad day corey]
    1. Is it disturbing that the “hide” on the rocking Not.A.Lion has the belly on the left side? Or, that the pattern is that mismatched?

    Ok, looked; for around $50-60, you can get a better rocking tiger, and one that, with a couple AA batteries, “roars” when pressing the switch in the ear (what a lovely association to teach toddlers–mash a cat’s ear and you get loud noises).

    However, for the serious collector “here is a tiger rocker” .

    2. The self-inflating tigger is a yard ornament. You need 110 current to run the fan that inflates it. Then, it sits there and whirs. Which means as a toy, it’s pretty static yard art. Good price, though, $30-50 new-in-box.

    Ugh, not a good day; not getting any better either. Going to retreat into my cave and fondly reminisce on how much nicer it would have been to actually imbibe yesterday, and only be hungover. Grumpier than a bear woke up 3/4 hibernated.
    [/corey]

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 May 23
      meredith permalink

      Holy shit that thing is awesome. I know what I want for Christmas.

      When I was 14-17, I was a nanny for three kids under 6 (yeah, as well as full time homeschooling, I worked full time. In middle school.)

      ANYway, they had one of those large rocking/sliding horses in their basement. I couldn’t ever understand why they didn’t get as excited about it as I did. I think I rode it every day. Them, not once. Highlight of that job.

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 May 23

        Little kids don’t know what they’ve got until they’re old enough to break it when they use it.

        Adores: 5
    • 2010 May 23
      MandaB permalink

      First, that rocking tiger is gorgeous. Add that to my list of “things I will never be able to justify the cost of but would own if I could just because it is cool”.

      Secondly, a not.a.lion that growls when you push on something does not qualify as better in my house. Noisy toys x 3 kids = mommy’s sanity is missing. In the infamous words of a certain grandparent, “It didn’t sound that loud in the store.”

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 May 23
        CapnMac permalink

        Well, to insure I’m having the right kind of Sunday, heard that the best tack-maker in most of the state, the kind that would enjoy (and had enjoyed) the challenge of a wooden rocking animal, has passed.

        Will have to solve the debate of sitting around and sweating, or of imbibing and sweating away distilled spirits–all while invoking conversations with abuelos past.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 23
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Ah, Capn – I had hoped earlier that your day would get better and it seems that it has not. In that case, I would strongly recommend the imbibing of distilled beverages – they enhance the conversations with those spirits who visit us from time to time. My father and I have enjoyed many a martini (or beer, depending on the weather) while we watch the sun set and talk about what he did with his life before he passed away.

          Sail on, Capn.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 23
          MandaB permalink

          Sorry that your day has not improved, Capn. Being that it is equally roasting and humid here, my vote is in favor of raising a glass, honoring the memories, and hoping that tomorrow will be a better day.

          Cheers.

          Adores: 1
        • 2013 May 19
          nojazzhere permalink

          So, CapnMac…. three years on, did your day get any better? I mean, that’s a few days later, (catmath, sixteen days to be exact) so surely there has been at least one better day… like maybe the one you had the root canal and they gave you those WONDERFUL!!!!! pills to help with, you know, that old football injury, or that time you, well, sorry, gotta go!!!! Bye.

          Adores: 0
        • 2013 May 19
          CapnMac permalink

          Well, yes and no (such are the vagaries of life).

          That was the week after Timmy Geithner’s minions shuttered my business bank. Which meant I no longer had access to my RLoC that is ever-so necessary to engage in the construction biz–where you buy materials and create things to be paid to buy the materials and the end product. This lack put paid to the eking-by life I was leading and lead to foreclosure and relocation into durance vile. So, no.

          Have not had (nor needed) a root canal, and do not–quite–live under a bridge; so, good.

          Adores: 0
  17. 2010 May 23

    Maybe it really is a “Rockin’ Lion” and his costume is a Tiger suit…Kinda like KISS.

    http://www.bluelips.com/pd-rockin-skeleton-riding-lion.cfm

    Adores: 0
  18. 2010 May 23
    Grampdaddy permalink

    I was having a think, ‘whilst sitting upon my not.a.couch, and the think I was having was that the Disney not.a.lion blows itself up.

    When feeling well (and hopefully, soon) Taco does the same thing.

    So I thinked some more – which is difficult for a GD of little brain – and pondered: Is Taco a Disney character? Is he really not.a.Taco? Is the not.a.lion a cheap Taco ripoff?

    Too much to ponder – I’m gonna go have a sammich.

    (brainplode)

    Adores: 5
  19. 2010 May 23
    MandaB permalink

    It just dawned on me that the inflatable not.a.lion, when a not.inflated.not.a.lion, could be used as a not.a.lion rug. Wouldn’t THAT look special with the sheep throne and chicken stachue?

    Adores: 9
  20. 2010 May 23

    I’m going to be a raving bitter beeyotch here and say
    I dropped out of school. I didn’t even finish school, and I am raising a small person. But even I know that is Not. A. Lion. I would never think of telling my child it is in fact, A. Lion. when it clearly is Not.
    Is there hope for the children?
    Would somebody, please, think of the children?
    I’m building a bomb shelter, and home-schooling my daughter, for fear of one of these people teaching my impressionable child.

    Adores: 11
    • 2010 May 23
      Lola permalink

      Sometimes the issue isn’t education, it’s intelligence …

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 May 23
        MandaB permalink

        Exactly. It’s like common sense not being so common. As a matter of fact, I’m starting to wonder if common sense is endangered.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 23
          Lola permalink

          I think the phrase is “nothing common about common sense”?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 23
          MandaB permalink

          Yes. That would be the phrase that was eluding me.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 24
          tigprincess permalink

          one of my old bosses used to say that common sense was a common as rocking horse shit … or in this case rocking Not.A.Lion shit

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 May 23

        What Lola just said is so true. At my last job I worked with several college educated people whose emails were punctuated and spelled about as well as the average CL ad.
        HHFN, I have just as much respect and awe for you as I do for Issac, Lola and all the other “edumacated” types here.

        Adores: 0
      • 2010 May 23

        You should see my health teacher write notes on the board. Forget the grammar (agh, the comma splices!), every time a word longer than say… 7 letters comes up more than once, he makes sure that it’s spelled differently each and every time, to ensure that at least one spelling in correct (usually).

        Adores: 1
    • 2010 May 23
      Grampdaddy permalink

      Hugs, HHNF – BIG hugs!

      In my various careers (prior to becoming a teacher) I frequently found that those who had less formal education were the ones with intelligence and problem-solving skills. I think the problem currently in education is that we are letting business tell the politicians that they want a non-thinking, non-questioning workforce who will do what they are told. My wife and I are both teachers and have watched our ability to teach diminish each year due to the need to achieve test score paradise and leave no child behind. Seems no one understands that leaving none behind means that few, if any, surge ahead either. That isn’t to say that we should not educate each child to their highest ability.

      Home-school your daughter well. Don’t teach her to answer questions, teach her to solve problems. Don’t teach her to get the “right” answer, teach her to understand the process of getting to an answer, even if it is the “wrong” one – she’ll be able to discover the correct ones that way.

      HHNF, I bet you are one kick-ass mom – need more like you!

      Adores: 9
      • 2010 May 24
        Bridgete permalink

        Oh…I really hope you can find a way to encourage your students even with all the bureaucratic crap. Even back when I was in high school, the system was SO focused on the kids who struggle that it was already too easy to lose the smart ones. I’m not saying the ones who struggle don’t deserve help, but there has to be a balance…and if the system won’t provide it, then there at least needs to be those teachers like you. I know it helped me to have teachers who saw my potential and pushed me to succeed. I wish I could tell them that I did…

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 May 24
          Grampdaddy permalink

          “I know it helped me to have teachers who saw my potential and pushed me to succeed. I wish I could tell them that I did…”

          Bridgete, you already told them. As a matter of fact, they knew it before you did – when they pushed you…

          Congratulations on Law School – relax a bit, study, pass the Bar (not the bar), and I’ll call upon you to represent me during my ‘Snarky Curmudgeon’ trial.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 24
          Bridgete permalink

          Thanks…it’s nice to hear that. Er…read that. Eh, whatever.

          How about I go in one bar and pass the other Bar? ;)

          I’m having fun envisioning the snarky curmudgeon trial….

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 May 23

      I have recently come to the conclusion that it is much more important that my son, who has Down syndrome and will be 5/start Kindergarten soon, be a functioning part of his community than that he jump through the hoops that the professional educators have set up for him. In prepping for his first IEP (a hellish meeting where “we” the educational team decide what measurable goals we will set for him to achieve this coming school year) I have decided that it is imperative that I be the most pleasant beaotch that they have seen. They are going to put him in the neighborhood school or they can’t have him. I’ll homeschool, I’ll let him have another year of preschool (with typical peers), or we’ll move. It’s my way or the highway.

      So, HHNF, my sister in the battle to provide the best for our young, I salute you and the decision you have made! I raise my frosty mug of chai to you (cuz Mama tries not to drink on school nights). Happy Sunday, from a woman who holds 2 AA degrees, is a certified sign language interpreter, and will probably loose that certification at the end of the year for not earning enough CEUs. I’ve been busy with my kids, instead of going to workshops, ya know?

      Oh, and maybe I’ve been wasting time reading teh interwebs. :-)

      Adores: 4
  21. 2010 May 23
    Windrose permalink

    Thank goodness you are all still here, and still snarky! Had to rush out with a friend to another friend’s house, call 911, watch sheriffs break down her door, get friend B to the hospital, stay with friend A and call friends C through H plus Honey, to feed the sixty some birds she was taking care of when she fell and couldn’t get up! *pant pant pant* Not the restful day I had planned, and now Honey and I have to feed the birds here. We brought all the smaller birds home with us, and I don’t think I will return many of them. They were in sad shape. I hope I am smart enough to rehome my birds if ever I get to where I can’t take proper care of them. The club is going to do an intervention. Okay, back to the Not.A.Lion show!

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 May 23
      MandaB permalink

      Holy Clothespin Jeebus!!!! Did EVERYONE have one of those days today???? Sheesh!

      Feed the birds and enjoy some Not.Tea!

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 May 23
        CapnMac permalink

        Sad to think Taco might have had it the best of us, for being medicated.

        Been partially productive, I’ve been refining plans for a storm shelter that also doubles as a foundation for rainwater sequestration which then supports photovoltaic panels. Drawings and sketches are the easy part–been setting up number-crunching runs. need to see what materials mix also generates the right mix of rebates and incentives.

        Which did keep me out of the tequila.

        But, now, y’all have managed to press another mental button, and I’ll have to now go check to see if there are credits for creating an education pod. That’s storm-resistant. And improves energy footprints.

        Well, after Tudors and Tremè.

        Wow, both of those were good.

        Ugh, wonder if I can pitch a grant to study what effect having storm shelters in historically under-sheltered neighborhoods would have on Not.A.Lion maulings. Ugh, rather write dissertations for others than grant aps. Or, maybe it’s the having yet one more kind of rejection in my life.

        I’d offer to help shelter birds, but the cat would just consider that a smörgåsbord.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 24
          Windrose permalink

          It’s the thought that counts. Whilst the birds were out in the back, being sprayed for mites and moved to clean cages, my cat looked over the canaries with a knowing eye, and picked out the weakest one to crouch next to. Indeed, I think he expected to be handed the bird as a play thing/snack.

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 May 24
        tigprincess permalink

        my Sunday was lovely – a little help in the morning to strike a drama set then the rest of the day reading – some of it in the sunshine (we get is occasionally here in UK-land) and the rest inside. With glasses of rose to calm me.

        Adores: 0
  22. 2010 May 23

    I have a doctorate, a masters and a bachelor of arts and…

    Even I can’t keep a straight face after writing such a ridiculous statement.

    But I do have a B.S. from the School of Life.

    Adores: 0
  23. 2010 May 24
    Windrose permalink

    Well, Lost_Compass, pardon the capitals, here’s a honey punch for you. Sorry I couldn’t treat you to lunch, instead. This honey came from sanitary bees, on a very nice truck in the neighborhood. Punchity Punch Punch!

    G’Night, Disneylands!

    Adores: 1
  24. 2010 May 24
    CapnMac permalink

    Perhaps it is a measure of education, of discernment, of sapience, that we recognize our emptiness as weel as we measure our fullness.

    So, even when achingly empty, we can be here, fulsome in snark.
    And to be able, amid jabs and japes are the deserving Sparkies, to also admit to the laments of being no more than base clay. Perhaps, it is in that we share an experience of needing to rise above baseness, base instinct, base ignorance, and the like.

    Still, it all seems to help. Sharing often does. That, and having a group that recognizes Shakespeare as readily as Shatner; or references to Dr Who (and Futurama).

    Or, maybe, it’s
    just the random haiku
    haiku if i know

    Where’s Windrose to say “Goodnight Pooh-land (or Bengal)”?

    Oh, see that she got in while I was typingg.

    Adores: 4
  25. 2010 May 24

    Well, all I know is that a lighted, 4 ft. Not.A.Lion. would scare the hell outta my grandkids…saaayyyyy….

    Adores: 3
  26. 2010 May 24
    Chazz permalink

    Okay… I’m starting to think people are doing this intentionally. That or somehow, some way, there’s one pre-school “Learn Your Animals” book with a horrible misprint that’s been circulating the country for the last 30 years or so.

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 May 24
      Steph permalink

      I can see how parents and children would get confused, and it all comes from the “What does such-and-such an animal say?” game.

      “What does the piggy say?”
      “Oink!”
      “What does the cow say?”
      “Moo!”
      “What does the lion say?”
      “Roar!”
      “What does the tiger say?”
      “…uh, roar?”

      Therefore, because they make the same sound (according to a small child), parents forget that Google exists and go through life believing that lions and Not.A.Lions are, in fact, all lions.

      But then they’d just be lion to themselves.

      *snerks sweet tea*

      Adores: 0
  27. 2010 May 24
    WendyBear permalink

    I am heartened by the first not.a.lion being smoke free. You know there’s a real smoking epidemic among not.a.lions. It’s sad that the poor dear has no pets. In that home he probably needed it.

    However, upon inspection, the second ad they state that the home is pet free. Isn’t a Disney Not.A.Lion a pet? Oh, the inconsistencies!

    Adores: 0
  28. 2010 June 9
    jamba_juzi permalink

    Just a fun fact for you guys: I used to have a tiger shirt that I loved. My mom and I were watching old home movies and in one, I was wearing the tiger shirt. My mom looks at me and her comment, “You loved that lion shirt, didn’t you?”
    Me: “Not. A. Lion.”

    Adores: 2
  29. 2012 June 3
    Lizzi permalink

    I cannot believe how many people call a tiger a lion. I’m crying I’m laughing so hard. Some people’s kids

    Adores: 0
  30. 2013 May 19

    Rockin’ lion,
    Not.a.lion,
    Go, not.a.lion,
    ‘Cause I’m posting in all caps tonight.

    Adores: 1
    • 2013 May 19

      You left out the roar, roar, roars! 8)

      Adores: 0

Leave a Reply

Note: You can use basic XHTML in your comments. Your email address will never be published.

Subscribe to this comment feed via RSS