YSaC, Vol. 684: A public service announcement for spambots …

2010 June 1

Dear spambots of the world;

When you are crafting your spam postings to Craigslist, please try to do so in a way that doesn’t call attention to yourself. For example, don’t use an extremely odd turn of phrase that doesn’t make any sense at all in every single post that you make. For example:

$400 / 3br – Nice 3 BR house in addition with cellar!! (Spokane)


Pretty 3 bedroom place of residence with full cellar! Two bedrooms upstairs, one ground flour with let-out. Room for cabinet, exercise room, or play area downstairs.
Hardwood flooring on the second flour, newer cookery cabinets with Corian counter and Corian work in sink. Added option is a playground not far from the front door.
Pets considered with supplementary pet deposit. Any pet allowed must be sprinkled or neutered prior to lease. Perfect place of residence for one couple, or not very big family.

Sweet 3 bedroom home plus basement!!


Pleasant 3 bedroom house with full cellar! Two bedrooms upstairs, one first floor with escape window. space for cabinet, exercise room, or the pace for playing on the first flour.
hardwood floor on the second flour, newer cookery cabinets with Corian countertop and Corian built-in shell. supplement option is a recreation ground not far from the street door.
Pets are allowed with extra pet deposit. Any pet allowed must be sprinkled or neutered prior to occupancy. Excellent home for one couple, or small family.

$400 / 3br – 3 BR House with shedders!! (louisville)


Pretty 3 BR house on great plot of land with a hedge backyard. This home is on one level for those tired of climbing stairs. Centrally located not far from restaurants, pharmacy, and shopping. Single automobile shedders, window air, new ceramic roofing in the bathroom, original tub and border.
Now is being repainted – can be seen but not quite ready for occupancy. Pets allowed! Any pet accepted must be sprinkled or neutered prior to enter.

In fact, if you do a Google search for “sprinkled and neutered” on Craigslist, you come back with a whole bunch of hits in a whole bunch of markets. Massive spambot fail.

Thanks, Julie, Jackie, and Ellie, for sending in one ad each, which tipped me off to this …

137 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 June 1
    Meredith permalink

    ” Any pet allowed must be sprinkled or neutered prior to lease.”

    I come from a denomination that adheres to the dunking method of baptism, though I’m not sure if pet baptisms are an exception.

    ooohhh, firsties. Guess everyone else is recovering from too much beer…I mean sun. I’m sure it was just the sun that gave you that headache.

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 June 1
      Windrose permalink

      Sadly, I had exactly zero alcoholic beverages over the weekend. Had too much driving to do. My dad turned 85, and family came in from all over the states to celebrate. Much fun, much amazement at kids having grown up, like that’s unusual. 8)

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 June 1
        arallyn permalink

        The only thing I remember about my grandpa’s 85th birthday is being pissed off that I had to hike for 2 miles, and then nearly falling off a cliff. Everyone says I had a great time and was super happy, but when the only thing I can remember involves nearly dying, I’m hesitant to believe it.

        Adores: 1
    • 2010 June 1
      arallyn permalink

      The blessing of the pets involves sprinkling! Both of holy water on the animals, and of the animals pissing on your shoes because the line is so long. That event is insane.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 June 1
        Lola permalink

        To me the insane part is that they bless all creatures, including nonsentient, which at St John the Divine in NY means a jar of greenish pond goo stuff. Since it’s living in water, I’m not sure whether it requires sprinkling.

        Adores: 1
      • 2010 June 1

        I just want to throw in that the name for that sprinkling is asperges.

        But I certainly don’t mean to cast asperges on anyone’s pets.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 June 1
          Camille permalink

          Isaac’s casting asparagus on my pet? I am so confused.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 June 1
          Lola permalink

          You’re confused, and now I’m worried my pet’s going to get Asperger’s. Right?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 June 1
          sarajean80 permalink

          *Flips through Player’s Handbook*

          I’m not familiar with “Asparagus”, what level spell is it?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 June 1
          arallyn permalink

          My bf the DM says that Asparagus would be found under “Weaponry”.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 1
          TacoMagic permalink

          I think it’s a Bard song actually.

          *Pulls up his VegeTales D20 source-book*

          Yup, Asparagus: Bard 8.

          Causes a patch of singing, Colossal Asparagus to appear. Each stalk counts as a magical construct with 15 HD (See Vegetable Manual for Colossal Asparagus stats). The Asparagus will immediately turn upon all entities within a 1 mile radius that are not of the alignment: Fiber Good. In addition to their normal attacks, this magical Asparagus constantly sings a song with the same properties as “Heversad’s Vegetable Desire Song” cast by a level 15 broccoli floret.

          Glad I could help out.

          Adores: 16
        • 2010 June 1
          arallyn permalink

          Taco, You’ve inspired me to desire to write an entire RPG based upon Vegetable Combat. Of course, I won’t, owing to being lazy, but you’ve inspired me.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 June 1
          TacoMagic permalink

          I think I’ll have to make a custom Munchkin card with this now:

          Aspearagus

          Weapon: Two Handed +5
          Other Stuff: When fighting any plant based enemy, this weapon counts as a +2 weapon.

          For any creature with a nose, you can consume the Aspearagus to chase them away. You collect their treasure but gain no XP. Aspearagus is then discarded.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 June 1
          arallyn permalink

          Thanks Taco, that’s an effing amazing new custom. Goes perfectly with the epic customs that my friends came up with after 48 hours without sleep.

          *scuttles off to find Munchkin set*

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 1
          TacoMagic permalink

          Here’s the other one I came up with in an edit that didn’t take:

          VegeBard:
          VegeBard can discard his hand during battle to call upon the plants of the realm. The VegeBard gains +1 for every house plant in eyesight. The VegeBard may not rearrange the house during battle to make this skill more effective. What they do outside of battle is up to the other players to control.

          If the VegeBard is ever in battle with a plant based monster roll the D6. On a 5 or 6 the plant joins the Vegebard as a pet. If the VegeBard already has a pet, (s)he can choose to replace the pet or fight the plant. The VegeBard is awarded treasure but not XP if they chose to make the monster a pet.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 June 1
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Say Isaac, would you have any broccoli by any chance? My pets don’t like asparagus, but do love broccoli and carrots. If you sprinkle them with either of those, they will be your friends forever. Even cauliflower will work…

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 1
          arallyn permalink

          Cauliflower would make a great armor in a vegetable-based world.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 1
          sarajean80 permalink

          And onions would be perfect as a ranged weapon.

          (I spent way too much time at lunch thinking about a veggie-based D20 game. And there were doughnuts there and everything.)

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 1

          Well, as long as Isaac doesn’t cast Assburgers on our pets…

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 June 1
          CapnMac permalink

          Is there a separate damage table for white asparagas?

          If the asparagas is used as thrown or projected (atalatl!) weapon, is it an accessory table?

          If the “victim” rolls for anemia, will that mitigate the damage?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 1
          TacoMagic permalink

          I think white asparagus is treated like a silver item. It does the same damage but is also effective against Were-Cucumbers and other Lycanthropic pseudo-fruits.

          Yes, as long as there are no follow up questions.

          I think it’s an “Anemia Half” roll. Roughage takes no damage on a successful anemia roll; however, since they have the Improved Anemia class feat.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 June 1
          CapnMac permalink

          Ok, almost fell out of chair. Pictured a shield with four spears of white asparagas attached.

          Something about needing an accessory table for shield use as a table.

          White = silver would rather match the price in the store, too. Though, the white is said to have less iron in it vice that anemia value.

          Adores: 0
  2. 2010 June 1
    MandaB permalink

    Want to move in with your pets? No problem. We just sprinkle them with this ground flour which can be found not far from street door.

    Adores: 4
  3. 2010 June 1
    Meredith permalink

    Also, “Pretty 3 bedroom place of residence with full cellar”.

    “Place of residence”? Hmmmmmmm, cue hilarious ideas of what this could actually mean. As long as it has 3 “bedrooms” I guess it counts, right?

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 June 1
      TacoMagic permalink

      Yup, with 3 “bedrooms” I can “see no problem” with “living” there.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 June 1
        sarajean80 permalink

        “Something” tells me “you” might be “using” sarcasm this “morning”, Taco.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 June 1
          TacoMagic permalink

          Whatever “gave” you that idea, “Sarajean”?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 June 1
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          I think Taco just has extra quotation marks (leftovers from the long weekend) that he is trying to use up before they go bad.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 1
          Meredith permalink

          Again with the picturing Chris Farley doing the airquotes skit from SNL. Bwahahahahaha

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 June 1

          You should switch to PB&J Network. I hear they have rollover quotations.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 1
          TacoMagic permalink

          Damnit, now I want a PB&J sammich.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 1

          Thankfully, you don’t want a “PB&J” sammich.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 June 1

          Ewwwwwww…

          “thanks” a “lot”, “Atchie”.

          Adores: 1
  4. 2010 June 1
    christina permalink

    My dogs are shedders but I’ve trained them not to sprinkle in the house. Besides, I prefer un-ground flour. Grinding it myself makes for fresher gravies and cakes.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 June 1
      Windrose permalink

      Both my cats sprinkled, that’s why they are mostly outside cats. I thought we ran out of first flour along time ago. Does one of the bedrooms have a place where I can plug in and recharge my spambot?

      Adores: 1
  5. 2010 June 1
    Camille permalink

    I have just one question about the Corian built-in shell, and I’ll bet you all know what it is.

    Adores: 8
    • 2010 June 1
      Windrose permalink

      Minty? I’ll bet it’s minty. Especially if it’s cookery counters.

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 June 1

        It’d better be minty. Non-minty shells are just a deal-breaker, IMO.

        And the toasters better have “winter” settings.

        Adores: 4
  6. 2010 June 1
    arallyn permalink

    Hey, my single automobile is shedding! Shedding paint, at least. Maybe this place is for me!

    Wait…no, my cat doesn’t sprinkle and I prefer floor air over window air, so I guess not. Too bad. I was excited about having a bath in a presumably rusty original tub, underneath ceramic roofing. It would have been so romantic.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 June 1
      Windrose permalink

      The place has its own gardener and ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER!

      Adores: 2
  7. 2010 June 1
    TacoMagic permalink

    Sweat 3BR Brothel w/Cellar!

    Quaint 3 bedroom Hidden Valley ranch house. Two bedrooms upstairs, one more above that, and again two blocks later. Fully stocked wine cellar somewhere in town, included at extra shreddings. Newspapers allowed sometimes. Backyard is voluptuous with a hedge maize, useful for discrete. Kitchen has been updated, the fridge is newly roofed with acrylic paint. Some chips and dip allowed, see list.

    Pets are considerate if sprinkled and neutered! Allow for a new deposit on old pets. Newer pets must be noted on the lease where applicable. Excellent place for the newly married bachelor!

    Adores: 14
    • 2010 June 1
      arallyn permalink

      See, you actually sound like you speak English. Mr. Spambot up there sounds like he’s speaking Spanish, translated into German, then translated into English via a low grade Babelfish substitute.

      Though I would like to see your voluptuous hedge maize. I love shapely corn hedges.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 June 1
        TacoMagic permalink

        My art merely mimics real life, but sometimes there is no substitution for a real spambot.

        I shall endeavor to a higher degree of gibberish.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 1
          sarajean80 permalink

          Maybe you should get the mugs out again.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 June 1
          TacoMagic permalink

          6yqa6y nu7tgws!

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 June 1

          Perfect!

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 June 1
          Windrose permalink

          TM, do you ever get tired of being mugged?

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 June 1
      LimeLolly permalink

      Do you have any rentals in the Bleu Cheese or Balsamic Vinagrette districts?

      Adores: 6
  8. 2010 June 1
    Lola permalink

    $400 for a 3-br house in Spokane? Maybe I’ve been away from E. Washington too long, but that seems … low. Like methtastically low. Maybe that’s the ad’s problem – spambots on meth.

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 June 1
      TacoMagic permalink

      Maybe it’s because of all the sprinkling pets that house has seen.

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 June 1
      arallyn permalink

      haha, that was my first thought…I live in a rather low-rent area and I’m paying $600 for a 1-BR with utilities. there’s a “house” here that’s going for $350 a month, but I’m not convinced it even has a roof…from what I can see, half of the roof is collapsed…

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 June 1
        Lola permalink

        Unfortunately for its residents who are not involved, Spokane has a regional reputation for meth-related problems (“Methlehem”), which is why my mind went there.

        However, I don’t know if the same is true for Louisville, which makes me wonder in what neighborhood a $400/3br. rental would be at all realistic. Considering their inability to write coherently and to make the same mistakes from ad to ad, putting the right local price in for verisimilitude is clearly too much to ask from a (meth)bot.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 1
          arallyn permalink

          yeahhhh um, I used to hang out a LOT in a place called Portage, WI…Nightline and 48 hours both called it the meth capital of the midwest, and if you go per capita, the meth capital of the US. They’ve *sort of* cleaned up, but I hung there in the really nasty days.

          Besides, if it was once a meth house, there’s no inherent danger in moving in so long as there isn’t another tenant actively cooking drugs in the basement…the meth smell is nasty, but can be pretty easily removed, and the chemicals left over don’t harm you.
          My chem professor freshman year is now actually a multi-millionaire because he started a business buying and flipping old meth houses. People were too afraid of them because they thought the chemicals would do something horrible that he got them at auction for a fraction of the price…his guys would go in and usually completely re-do the kitchen, and do some weird airborne thing that got rid of the smell everywhere else, and for pretty much just the cost of the kitchen + labor he could usually triple his investment.

          ANYWAY. A house for 400 is sketchy, unless you live in the Yukon or something.

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 June 1

      Not to get all Corey, but I think the deal with these spambot rental posts is they offer a price that’s so low you just gotta check it out. Then they have you hooked. Remember that studio in Manhattan with windows on all four sides?

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 June 1
        Bridgete permalink

        When I was shopping for a car, the spambot car posts did the same thing. I sure would have loved to get that 2004 Corolla for $2600 though…

        Adores: 0
      • 2010 June 1
        TacoMagic permalink

        Man, I totally don’t remember the ad for the hexagonal studio.

        Adores: 0
  9. 2010 June 1
    penguin permalink

    Sounds like they only allow Chia pets.

    Adores: 8
  10. 2010 June 1
    sarajean80 permalink

    All this talk of sprinkling has given me a craving for doughnuts.

    Doughnuts are like pets, in that they are warm and comforting; however doughtnuts are somewhat more edible than your average pet. (Unless you have one of those potbellied pigs or a rabbit hopping around.)

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 June 1
      arallyn permalink

      From a conversation with a friend:

      “There is absolutely no food here. I’m starving. Can you go get something at the store?”

      “Would you rather eat a baby or a cat?”

      “What the…of COURSE a baby! Just pop it in the oven and done! Cats have all that fur, and the legs with no meat; they would make a horrible meal. You’re so illogical even thinking about eating a cat. So much effort for so little good.”

      Adores: 9
      • 2010 June 1
        Lola permalink

        Jonathan Swift thought so, too. Irish babies – mmm. A Modest Proposal, indeed.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 June 1
          arallyn permalink

          I’ve got babies on spikes! Babies on racks! They taste of chicken! Oh Eddie Izzard. Cooked babies just make a classier joke than “dead baby” jokes.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 June 1
          TacoMagic permalink

          I’m gonna drive around town and put babies on spikes! The American dream!

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 June 1

          Sometimes you people scare me…..and I mean that in a good way.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 June 1
          Meredith permalink

          Sometimes they scare me, too, and I mean that in a terrifying way.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 June 1
          sarajean80 permalink

          *snorts*

          Like you’ve never thought about… I mean; yeah, disturbing.

          (I have had a sudden and complete image of a bottle of Johnson’s “No-More-Tears” Formula Baby Shampoo and Marinade. Now in Honey Mustard Scent! I scare myself sometimes.)

          Adores: 6
      • 2010 June 1

        http://modthesims.info/download.php?t=316764

        You will never look at Sims the same way again.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 1
          TacoMagic permalink

          I haven’t looked the same way at the Sims since I downloaded a full set of skins that featured everyone wearing BDSM and/or Strap-Ons.

          I proceeded to load them onto my sister’s computer and replace all her Sims clothing. I’m pretty sure she did something to deserve that. Either that or it was funny*.

          *It was funny.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 June 1

          Oh, there’s a lot worse than that nowadays. Especially with all the freedom 3-D meshes in the Sims 2 have given creators. Granted, I’m working on hearsay, being both a minor, and a believer that Sims should not be a Make.Your.Own.Pr()n. game.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 1
          sarajean80 permalink

          I’m going to have to try very hard* not to use the term “crotchfruit” now.

          *I probably won’t try that hard.

          (Kudos to Astro for showing some moral fiber! Not every boy your age would pass up the chance to turn The Sims into an electronic brothel.)

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 June 1
          TacoMagic permalink

          Oh, there’s a lot worse than that nowadays.

          IMVU is proof of that (Or at least their adds are fairly suggestive of such).

          They’re also the for-runners of the new Avatar furryism that’s sweeping the fetish playground. I find it humorous how few people have noticed the parallel between the two, actually.

          Actual Conversation Excerpt:

          Female Friend (She’s expressed her unwavering disdain for furries in the past): “I found a program that allowed me to make an Avatar of myself just like in the movie. I named her Sky Flower and she’s totally hot!”

          “That’s nice. On a different topic, what do you think of Furries?”

          “They’re freaks of nature, you know that.”

          “So they’re freaks for creating a non-human alternate self that may or may not be a sexual being?”

          “Shut up, Taco.”

          “Rule of thumb, Hun. Don’t judge the freaks because in a certain light, we’re all freaky. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go jump into my chipmunk costume.*”

          *I’ve actually used this saying for about 10 years. I can’t for the life of me remember where or why it started.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 June 1
          sarajean80 permalink

          I hope you get the chipmunk costume cleaned regularly.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 1
          TacoMagic permalink

          The dry cleaning costs are killer, let me tell you.

          The squirrel costume needs to be cleaned way more often though. Especially with me lending it out to HHNF all the time…

          … It’s less fun talking about HHNF behind be back when she isn’t here to see it.

          Adores: 2
  11. 2010 June 1
    Tom permalink

    [Corey]Who wants to bet the poster thought ‘spayed’ is actually spelt/pronounced ‘sprayed’, then used a synonym for sprayed – makes sense to me.[/Corey]

    I like the supplement option of a playground very near my front door though – if I pay an extra $20pw can you put it in my backyard? That way I don’t have to share and I can make sandcastles in the nude. Yuss.

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 June 1
      Bridgete permalink

      Ohh! I actually really needed that [corey]…I was trying to figure out how they got to “sprinkled”.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 June 1
        sarajean80 permalink

        I’m trying to figure out why someone would want to make naked sandcastles. Wouldn’t there be chafing issues?

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 1
          TacoMagic permalink

          Naked Sandcastles is definately the band name of the day.

          I’m thinking their hit single is “Rubbing You the Wrong Way.”

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 June 1
          Tom permalink

          It’s like being at the beach, only smaller, and filled with cat crap and raccoon droppings. Why WOULDN’T you want to sit in a sandbox naked?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 1
          sarajean80 permalink

          I don’t know, because I have (thus far) enjoyed a tetanus and rabies free existence?

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 June 1
      drmk permalink

      I like that theory … except that if you do a search on CL for “sprayed or neutered” only seven results come up (not housing ads), and there don’t seem to be a lot of ads for housing similar to these spambotty ones that contain the phrase “spayed or neutered”.

      It’s obvious that they’re replacing the rest of the house descriptors with what they think are synonyms (“floor” vs. “flour”? Really?) but the phrase “sprinkled or neutered” is pretty much in all of them.

      I’ve sent a link to this post to Craig Newmark and the CL PR people. It’ll be interesting to see if they do anything about it.

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 June 1
      CapnMac permalink

      Backyard playground definitely better for hanging venison

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 June 1

        And it’s a much better coverup for a secret still.

        “What? That ain’t Moonshine. It’s… uh… a Tire Swing.”

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 1
          CapnMac permalink

          Still looks like playground equipment about the way flour looks like a floor.

          But, I know I’ve been a sour wort all day, and the heat is not helping a Tun at all.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 June 1
          TacoMagic permalink

          Hey now! There is no knead for that kind of attitude Capn. I think that if you simply rise to the occasion instead of being so punched down you’ll find that it’s the yeast of your worries.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 June 1
          CapnMac permalink

          [corey]Would laugh more if I’d not lost a lighting subcontract to a goon who abreviated fluorescent as “Flour.” and produced a set of cut-n-paste specifications that made today’s listings read like Browning.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 1
          TacoMagic permalink

          [corey]Sounds like my week last week.

          I had to spend a 4 hour meeting being a referee between two groups of hospital admins as they argued whether we should hot weld or cold weld our floor joints. 4 hours. I wanted to commit ritualistic seppuku about a half hour into the discussion; by the end I wanted everyone to join in.

          My week went downhill from there and I ended up in a field, covered in ticks on Friday.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 1
          CapnMac permalink

          I’d call in sick before they announce the week they’ll need on the sanitary base joints.

          Had to sit in one of those sorts of meetings on an ER renovation. One admin wanted the wall rails to have removable covers so they could be sanitized. Which was very funny since the Facility Operations director was there and said there was no schedule for cleaning the rails anyway.

          My exposure to HC facilities has made me jaded.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 1
          LimeLolly permalink

          I used to be a housekeeper in a hospital, I was darn good at my job. I used to pray that if I ever had to be admitted, that I would get to room on the floor I cleaned. Which was unlikely, as I cleaned the administration offices.

          Don’t get sick.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 June 1
          Windrose permalink

          Taco, how is that different from any other week? 8) Hang in there. You need the Time Is Money clock!

          http://www.bringtim.com/

          I want one very much, my manager just can’t manage time, and we dwell on the silliest items for the bulk of the meetings, and then don’t get to the really important stuffs.

          Adores: 1
  12. 2010 June 1

    I like the one with the escape window for, you know, when dolly gets really agitated…

    The one with the shedders, though, no thanks…way too much clean-up involved in multiple shedders. Heck, I have one cat but he sheds enough for three.

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 June 1
      CapnMac permalink

      “[E]scape window” is a very strange literary take on “egress window” (which may be the “let out” in the other listing, rather than my presumed “walk-out” basement).

      Code usually requires an egress window either in sub-surface bedrooms, or in upper floor attic/garrets as a fire escape/fire fighter ingress point.
      Which makes the floors cited ring odd.
      I recall thar in South America, the “ground floor” is sometimes the basement.
      Much as, in Europe, the First floor is the one above the street level.

      The things a body can learn by living long enough.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 June 1
        eeee permalink

        [corey]
        One possible take on what an “escape window” is and why it’d be appropriate on the first floor:

        Where I live, wrought-iron “decorative” security bars on the doors and windows are the norm – at a guess, I’d say about 70-75% of houses/duplexes/etc have bars. (Apartments rarely have them, and if they do, usually only the first-floor apartments.) My city is actually consistently ranked one of the safest in the US, yet everyone still feels the need to put bars on their houses. I’m not sure if there’s a cause/effect thing there or what. Anyway.

        For a while, having an interior latch and a hinge mechanism in the bars so you could unbar the window from inside (in case of fire, etc) was optional – it was a big part of the ironwork guy’s sales pitch when my parents bought their home in the 80s, how awesome it was that they included the safety unlatch at no additional charge. When I bought my house, which was built in the early 70s, we had to take the bars off of the windows for it to pass inspection, because there was no interior unlatch mechanism for any of the bedroom windows.

        In the local advertising/ironwork parlance, the ironwork for windows that require a safety latch (usually bedrooms) are known as “escape windows.”

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 1
          Steph permalink

          I didn’t see you close the [corey] tag. I’m scared. It’s going to go on forever, isn’t it?

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 June 1
          Limelolly permalink

          [corey] escaped out the egress.

          You can stop worrying.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 June 2
          eeee permalink

          It might, Steph. You wouldn’t be the first one who thought I’d never, ever, ever shut up.

          [/corey]
          Sorry.

          Adores: 0
  13. 2010 June 1
    Meredith permalink

    Has anyone seen that “The clay head from the Lionel Richie “Hello” video” actually has a Facebook page?

    Who here is going to make a “Not.A.Lionel” page? Anyone? Taco? Windrose? Anyone???

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 June 1
      sarajean80 permalink

      I rarely bother to update my own, much less someone else’s.

      It would be cool, though.

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 June 1

      I say a Not.A.Lion. page would be better.

      It would be a fan page, and named Not.A.Lions. (so that,w hen someone joins it, the thing says “X likes Not.A.Lions.) and the profile pic would be of a Not.A.Lion.

      Adores: 0
  14. 2010 June 1
    RDG1982 permalink

    Single automobile shedders.

    Hmmmm, that could get pretty profitable. I mean, I would just sell all the automobiles that were shed, maybe keep one or 2 nice ones. I just wonder how many people would buy them. I wouldnt want too many laying around.

    Adores: 1
  15. 2010 June 1

    My cat already sheds a lot…. if I bring my own shedder does he have to be sprinkled? I’ve asked him how he feels about getting sprinkled…. he ran away and now I can’t find him, so I’m guessing that’s a deal breaker…..

    Adores: 0
  16. 2010 June 1
    LimeLolly permalink

    Did you see that NOW is being repainted? I hope it’s in glow-in-the-dark paint.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 June 1
      TacoMagic permalink

      And stain resistant.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 June 1

        Why don’t they just use Teflon coating instead of paint? It works well for cookery, walls and flours.

        And some politicians.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 June 1
          Limelolly permalink

          I vote for teflon and chalkboard paint be the ‘must haves’ for new houses. Within a built in spray and wash option….for the entire house.

          Mostly because I hate cleaning.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 June 1

          Good heavens, they’re arched, not atched! Took me two margaritas before I spotted my speeling swerve.

          *heads back to kitchen for another round*

          I’ll be ready for that scrabble game
          along about midnight.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 June 1
          Limelolly permalink

          I just thought that you had given your ‘R’ the day off. It works so hard you know… starting the car, voicing displeasure, swashbuckling at sea, holding up that ‘arch’. :)

          Adores: 5
    • 2010 June 1
      CapnMac permalink

      Would explain why it is almost ready to be seen, has not yet soaked up enough photons.

      Now, note too that a “3 BR” is ‘perfect for just one couple’ as well.
      Hmm,
      His & Hers BR and a spare for an office?
      Bedroom and a His & Hers separate office space?
      Guest room, multi-use room, and BR?

      Ok, should not have looked up “BR”
      That’s a postal code in SE London (8 districts, no lees–and you get three of them in this flat!)
      Also Bromide
      Also 1.3 Butadine Rubber

      And, current fave: Bombing Run, in Unreal Tournament ’03 (wonder if asparagas is permitted [G])

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 June 1
        TacoMagic permalink

        You haven’t played bombing run until you’ve played it with 10% gravity on the skyscrapers* map.

        *Can’t remember the actual name of the map. The one where you’re on top of the skyscrapers.

        Adores: 1
  17. 2010 June 1
    CapnMac permalink

    $400 for three seems steeper than I’d pay to play [G]

    But, a 3 Butadine Rubber house in Spokane might be a good venue.

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 June 1
      Limelolly permalink

      Is that the same type of rubber that’s used for areas under swing sets, or other kids play areas?

      If so, that would be pretty nifty. Bit hot in the summer, and I’d worry about chemical vapors.. but hey, talk about a bounce house!

      Adores: 1
  18. 2010 June 1
    queensbee permalink

    well, i think they may have that backwards. if NOT (spayed or)neutered there will be much sprinking. and not the good kind.

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 June 1
      LimeLolly permalink

      It doesn’t taste good, either.

      Word of warning- do not laugh with an open mouth, when the dog comes in to check out the new male kitten on your lap. Said kitten is going to freak out and climb up the front of you to the top of your head, spraying the whole time.

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 June 1
        Bridgete permalink

        Ugh! Considering the smell, and how closely smell is linked to taste…yeah, the idea of tasting that smell just makes me want to hurl. Poor you!

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 June 1
          LimeLolly permalink

          That was the only time that I willingly swished soap in my mouth.

          On the upside, the cat likes to sleep on my head. He just marked his spot early!! lol

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 June 1
          Bridgete permalink

          Aww, how cute! Severus (my avatar) sometimes puts his head on my pillow (I think he thinks he’s human), but he never actually sleeps ON my head. I did have a cat once who liked to sleep on my now-ex-boyfriend’s head, but I think the cat may have been trying to suffocate him…he wasn’t a very nice guy, I think the cat could sense it before I did.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 June 1
          CapnMac permalink

          Cats usually do, since they only voluntarily form packs.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 1
          Bridgete permalink

          True. I just normally have a good intuition with people…the whole thing was sort of weird for me. But, good intuition or not, I definitely used Severus as a second-check when I was looking for a new roommate.

          Adores: 0
  19. 2010 June 1

    http://www.facebook.com/pages/Not-A-Lions/126339934054310

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 June 1
      Bridgete permalink

      Now’s the time to find out. Can you see that I “liked” it even though my profile can’t be found in searches unless you’re at least a friend of a friend?

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 June 1
        Lola permalink

        I can see that you liked it. Arallyn and Capn Mac, and others as well.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 1
          Bridgete permalink

          Well, there ya go. And actually, a couple of you have friended me now, based on the mutual liking of the new page. Maybe “liking” a page turns the page into a mutual friend…

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 1
          Limelolly permalink

          mutual friend : stalker where is the line?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 June 1
          Bridgete permalink

          Haha. I know, right? My mom was just telling a story about how some guy who used to stalk her keeps popping up in the “people you may know” box because they have some mutual friends.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 1
          Limelolly permalink

          Hey, I liked it too. Someday, I might even post on it… ha ha

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 1
          Lola permalink

          She should be able to block that dude, if she wants. I have. (Not that guy, probably. Someone else.)

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 1

          I had to block my own sister. She wouldn’t stop commenting with asdfghjkklqoeht and other random nonsense on all my statuses. At first she just looked like a fool, and then it got annoying.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 1
          Bridgete permalink

          Well, he hasn’t actually tried to friend her yet, but yeah, blocking would still be a good idea.

          Adores: 0
  20. 2010 June 1

    So I’m not getting the house?

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 June 1
      Limelolly permalink

      Depends…

      Do you want the supplemental options, and do you have sprinkled and neutered pets?

      Adores: 0
  21. 2010 June 1
    Steph permalink

    I *was* going to make some snarky comment about the pets needing to be Catholic (or possibly Presbyterian), but it seems the very first commenter beat me to it! Curses! Foiled again!!

    Being Baptist myself, I’d attempt to dunk-baptize any pet except a cat. It would be especially easy to baptize a fish in such a way. I used to have a fish. His name was Alexander…

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 June 1
      Camille permalink

      Steph – you aren’t by any chance from Utah, are you? If so, we wrote you some very nice serenades about a week ago.

      Adores: 6
  22. 2010 June 1

    Alright, we’re all set!

    http://img80.imageshack.us/img80/8213/sprinklekittens.png

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 June 1
      Lola permalink

      Elebenty adores!

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 June 1
      Windrose permalink

      Okay, Accident, it’s time to tell us more about yourself. How did you get so snarky, and yet stay so purple?

      Adores: 0
  23. 2010 June 2
    Windrose permalink

    Camille! Again with the don’t suck box! Punchity punch punch!

    G’Night, Spokane!

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 June 2
      Camille permalink

      I am deeply humbled by the honor.

      Adores: 0
  24. 2011 August 16
    gary permalink

    I know I’m very late for replying but it seems that everyone missed the reason for the comment about pets being sprinkled. He is obviously afraid of a pet spontaneously combusting and burning his house down. With the pet being properly sprinkled that fear is lessened. I see a business opportunity for someone.

    Adores: 0

Leave a Reply

Note: You can use basic XHTML in your comments. Your email address will never be published.

Subscribe to this comment feed via RSS