YSaC, Vol. 702: I ain’t seen nothin’ like THEM in any amusement hall.

2010 June 19

Japanese Wall Mount Pinball Machine – $150


Wall Mount Japanese Pinball Machine with all steel pinballs. Good condition. Call Roger at XXX-XXX-XXXX

“Grandma, could you move over please? I’m trying to take a picture of this pinball machine so I can sell it on Craigslist.”
“No, grandma, I’m not dating someone named Craig, it’s an online thing.”
“No, NOT like one of those dating services… oh, hi, Aunt Phyllis.”
“Aunt Phyllis, could you move over a little bit, please? I’m trying to take a picture of this pinball machine.”
“NO Grandma, I’m NOT taking a picture of it for my boyfriend Craig, please don’t tell aunt Phyllis that.”
“I’m trying to SELL this pinball machine USING Craigslist.”
“Aunt Phyllis, you don’t even KNOW this other lady, stop telling them about my boyfriend Craig. Wait! I mean… Dammit, I don’t even HAVE a boyfriend Craig.”
“Look, could all of you just move over so… never mind, I give up.”

Thanks for the link, Michael!

62 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 June 19
    Windrose permalink

    Grandma, what big cheeks you have!

    Adores: 0
  2. 2010 June 19
    Grampdaddy permalink

    Hey! I know that pinball machine. We dated back in high school. She broke up with me to date the football team.

    *goes to corner to sulk*

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 June 19
      Windrose permalink

      Grampdaddy, you dated a pinball machine in high school? That’s sad. I mean, really. I’m pretty sure you just weren’t trying hard enough. Have some more coffee!

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 June 19
        Grampdaddy permalink

        Well, it WAS before I met Mrs. Grampdaddy, so discretion is to be advised. Mrs. G might break off my flipper if I talk about this particular pinball machine.

        Adores: 2
    • 2010 June 19

      I’ll bet she was a cold, metallic, heartless b***h, but when you played her right, she’d light up and make… interesting noises?*

      *Do with that statement what you will, but blame your own mind, not mine.

      Adores: 17
      • 2010 June 19
        Limelolly permalink

        I’m going to tell you what I tell my teen-age niece.

        “You’re too young for that. Maybe in 20 years. Or 30.. or never”

        Adores: 12
      • 2010 June 19
        Bridgete permalink

        Astro, I may only be laughing helplessly because I haven’t had any coffee yet, but I still think that deserves +elebenty adores!

        Adores: 0
      • 2010 June 19
        Grampdaddy permalink

        And I won’t even begin to go into what would happen when she’d “TILT”…. you did get to play extra balls though.

        (and Astro, you go wherever you want to with your mind – leave mine out of it. I can get myself into trouble without additional help, although I do appreciate it.)

        Adores: 8
        • 2010 June 19

          “you got to play extra balls…”
          So you dated Paulina?

          Adores: 14
  3. 2010 June 19
    Grampdaddy permalink

    Good Morning, Windrose. Tell Capn “Happy Birthday”!

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 June 19
      MandaB permalink

      You beat me to it! Happy birthday, Capn!

      Morning Windrose, Grampdaddy. Coffee anyone?

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 June 19
        LurkRealClose permalink

        Morning, folks. Happy Birthday to Capn.

        *helps self to coffee*

        Adores: 0
      • 2010 June 19

        Happy Birthday Cap’n! I hope it’s expetacular!
        So MandaB, can I get in on this coffee action?

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 19
          MandaB permalink

          Coffee for everyone! Wheee!

          (Bad storms last night meant no sleep, which means more coffee than Manda should have. I’m shaking like Taco. I promise no explosions!)

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 June 19
        sarajean80 permalink

        Felicitations on your natal anniversary, Cap’n! Hope you have many more in you.

        I’ve got the espresso machine warmed up if anyone wants a shot of the high octane stuff.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 19
          Lola permalink

          Happy Happy, Capn!

          I’ve got, ahem, discreetly imported Cuban coffee. Who wants some? It’ll make you mambo!* Also, it’s good.

          *The rum helps with that. Not that I have any of that, either. 8)

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 June 19
        Bridgete permalink

        Oh, good. Just what I needed. *grabs a cuppa*

        And Happy Birthday, Cap’n!

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 19
          CapnMac permalink

          I’m glad I made my own pot of coffee, the way it’s getting swilled down around here so far.

          Some Ethiopian dark roast with some Colombian semi-dark, this morning.

          Oh, and since I was alive to remember the craze, back when I was as old as Astro,
          the word of the day must be:

          PACHINKO

          (Sure would be nice if the [large] and [small] and [center] tags worked with this style sheet {sigh})

          Adores: 3
    • 2010 June 19

      Happy Birthday, Cap’n! Hope you have an excellent day, one free of harm, and free of complete weirdos and asshats, except the kind you can laugh at!

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 June 19
        Windrose permalink

        CapnMac, Hippo Birdie Two Ewes! 8) And Manny Moore! Coffee? Never touch the stuff. I drink it way too fast to have it hit my fingers. 8) sarajean, make mine a triple!

        Adores: 0
    • 2010 June 19
      Limelolly permalink

      I brought coffee cake… where’s the birthday boy?

      Adores: 3
    • 2013 March 9
      CapnMac permalink

      But, but, it’s not my birthday, today.

      kona roast good, it’s an overcast and gloomy day in march 2013, wish I had another “everything” bagel.

      Adores: 0
  4. 2010 June 19
    MandaB permalink

    This is one of the cast party photos from the Shady Oaks retirement home’s production of “Tommy”. The pinball machine was played by Eunice, seated there on the end.

    Adores: 16
  5. 2010 June 19
    Grampdaddy permalink

    ALL RIGHT!! An Honorable Mention – does that mean I’ll be able to retire sooner and live in a luxurious style? Or is it like a ‘major award’ that I can put on the other end table….

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 June 19

      Think more along the lines of those vague postcards that tell you to call a number to claim your prize and when you call they try to sell you a timeshare.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 June 19
        Windrose permalink

        Ssshhh! Christina, you are spoiling my early retirement scheme! I don’t want to go back to selling vintage cereals door to door!

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 June 19

          Well there’s your problem! Vintage Cereals, the Legal Tender in Kclhm (or however it’s spelled) are a currency, and therefore not a sell-able commodity!
          Now, vintage Crisco on the other hand, is, I hear, very desirable right now on the Black Market.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 19

          Oops! Sorry Windrose! I’m sure if you send out some new brochures with an expanded features and benefits* list people will still fall for your sca…I mean buy into the timeshare.

          *like bleeding walls and grindcore zombie picnics.

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 June 19
        Bridgete permalink

        Oh, I was dealing with those “You’ve won a prize! Now, buy a timeshare” people last week. They kept wanting me to schedule to go see their presentation out in Western Mass (5 hours out of my way, round-trip). The last time they called, my response to “availability this week” was, “Well, I’m studying for the bar exam for the next two months, I don’t really have time to go 5 hours out of my way for some 90-minute presentation.” To which the woman said, “Oh, well, what would be a better time for you?” I sort of lost it and said, “No, you didn’t hear me. I’m studying for the BAR EXAM. I will be doing this for TWO MONTHS. I don’t have time until August. I don’t care about my prize.” She got huffy and hung up.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 19
          Windrose permalink

          Hehehe, you should have said June 25th. Then waited a sec and added, 2018.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 June 19
          Bridgete permalink

          Ooh, that would have been good. I’ll try that next time.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 19
          sarajean80 permalink

          Do what my dear, sweet Papa did to the last telemarketer who called the house. *

          He made himself get all breathless and said “Thank God! I thought this line was down! You’ve gotta call the Coast Guard, quick! We’re taking on water, I don’t think we can make it!”

          There was more along this vein until the poor woman got so flustered she hung up on him, which is what he lives for. Dad truly loves to torment telemarketers.

          *Completely true story without any embellishments on my part. Honestly. I don’t think I could have come up with that on the spot like he did.

          Adores: 11
        • 2010 June 19
          Lola permalink

          Bridgete, I always have a little glow inside when I make THEM hang up on ME. Awesome. I love that feeling.

          Note: I have friends who did this as their jobs when we were students so I always try to be nice, but if they get pushy … all bets are off.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 19
          Bridgete permalink

          SJ, that is fabulous. It would have been really effective when they called, too…I was by the pool (barbri books in tow). “Don’t you hear the water and the screaming children??”

          Lola…I used to work in the bookkeeping dept (NOT on the phones) at a collection agency. Yeah, the calls you REALLY don’t want to get. So I try to be polite too, I know it’s just a job. But my patience definitely wears thin pretty quickly. And I definitely get a warm fuzzy feeling when they hang up on me. ;)

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 19
          frigglesnitz permalink

          Mr. Frigglesnitz always tells them, ” Hold on, I’ve got to check on the baby,” then walks away from the phone. He comes back to hang it up when “if you’d like to make a call” starts. Usually takes a good 5-6 minutes…

          Oh, and we have no baby.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 19
          LurkRealClose permalink

          I got to put the IRS on hold one day at work. It was the highlight of my month!

          Adores: 5
  6. 2010 June 19

    This is what happens when you don’t maintain vintage equipment. I remember this machine from my childhood, though “Elvira” looked a lot better back then. She might have fetched a pretty penny had she been kept minty.
    Just be happy this isn’t a “Kiss” pinball machine in the same condition. *shudder*

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 June 19
      sarajean80 permalink

      I don’t know, if you caked the make-up on thick enough it would fill in all those annoying little wrinkles. Like Spackle.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 June 19

        And a half case of beer…

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 19

          How about a yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum?

          Adores: 0
  7. 2010 June 19
    sarajean80 permalink

    Shame on Sparky Dildo DoucheBaggins Roger for trying to sell the little old ladies he picked up in a bar!

    Not one of them looks like a Hot Asian Lady, much less Japanese. Hard to tell if they have steel balls from the picture, but I doubt it.

    That’s just false advertising.

    Adores: 9
  8. 2010 June 19
    Chthulhu permalink

    Perhaps by “Japanese Wall Mount Pinball Machine” he means “Pachinko Sexy Reaction” ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pachinko_Sexy_Reaction )? Must be an older machine …

    Adores: 2
  9. 2010 June 19
    Lola permalink

    Wall mount, huh? Hey, a “knee-trembler” at a bar can make the evening interesting, but posting pictures and bragging online just shows you don’t have any class, buddy. ‘Specially if you admit that’s how much you paid for it, too. I doubt Mrs. Robinson is gonna be happy about that.

    Adores: 11
    • 2010 June 19

      Why doesn’t this have elebenty adores?
      +1 from my java disabled magic computing machine.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 June 19
        Windrose permalink

        I’m still trying to reconcile Lola with Knee-Trembler. My mind does not want to go there. 8/

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 June 19
          Lola permalink

          I know of it by reference only, not firsthand. Does that help?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 June 19
          Windrose permalink

          *sigh of relief* Yes. Yes, it does. 8)

          Adores: 1
  10. 2010 June 19

    Happy Birthday Cap’n!!

    Adores: 0
  11. 2010 June 19
    Limelolly permalink

    This sure doesn’t look like pinball to me.

    It looks like that DuckHunter game with the giggling dog. Pretty sure that’s not japanese, though, so maybe it refers to where Roger purchased it from.

    Adores: 3
  12. 2010 June 19

    Oh I have returned for CapnMacs bday! Hooray to you good sir.

    Adores: 0
  13. 2010 June 19

    It should come as no surprise that I saw no pinball machine in that picture full of ravishing sixtysomethings, nor did I try to.

    Adores: 0
  14. 2010 June 19
    CapnMac permalink

    Been touching, the response here.

    Very much like “this” .

    Now, to get the sound of a pachinko parlor out of my head

    and to survive having Rick Bayless on, expounding on fancy chow not on my menu

    Adores: 0
  15. 2010 June 19
    keelhaulrose permalink

    This looks like the plot and a screen shot from a really bad episode of the local rip-off of the Golden Girls. Sigh. I miss cable.

    Adores: 1
  16. 2010 June 19
    frigglesnitz permalink

    Is “Steel Pinballs” the 50′s street version of “Steel Magnolias”?
    The hair would be the same, natch.

    Adores: 1
  17. 2010 June 19
    Artsy Computer Geek permalink

    This has nothing to do with anything, but my daughter was playing a new game she has just found. I thought you might find it amusing. It’s called Zombie Ramming http://www.fukgames.com/game/21399/zombie-ramming. Just in case you need to fight the zomb…..

    Adores: 0
  18. 2010 June 20
    Windrose permalink

    Meredith, come stand real close to me. 8) This isn’t going to hurt a little bit. Punchity Punch Punch!

    Grampdaddy, here’s your honorary Punch.

    G’Night, Cuba!

    Adores: 0
  19. 2013 March 9

    She’s a pachinko granny,
    But now she’s acting thick.
    The pachinko granny
    Won’t get out of the pic.

    Adores: 2
  20. 2013 March 9

    At least none of them are doing a duckface.

    Adores: 4
    • 2013 March 9

      Grandma’s cheeks won’t let her do duckface, I expect.

      Adores: 0
      • 2013 March 9
        Irregular Fractal permalink

        I think that IS the duckface. Watch out when they release that thing: jowls as far as the eye can see.

        Adores: 3
  21. 2013 March 9
    PhantomBanker permalink

    Are they in a bar? Are they too woozy from the boozy to move from their stools?

    Of course, now I’m reminded of grannies and their stools. Ew.

    Adores: 1
  22. 2013 March 10

    CJ, you have risen above the bag lady status to box lady! Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, Reindeer for Hire!

    Adores: 0

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