YSaC, Vol. 705: We’re never going to survive unless we get a little crazy.
***Moving Seal Must Go***
MOVING EVERY THING MUST GO SUNDAY & MONDAY ALL BRAND NEW STUFF Miscellaneous Furniture dining table with china cabnet. Big scren tv to bed room sets by ashley brand cups dishes brand new washer & dryer whirlpool cabrio immaculate Lost of house stuff Please Call Sandera (xxx)xxx-xxxx Thanks
Oh hai!
Photo from http://www.ejphoto.com/photos_of_the_month_page.htm
I’m a baby seal, and I’m moving. Would you like to buy my house stuff? It’s been on a tropical island featured in some television show for six seasons, during which time there were inexplicable flash-forwards, flash-sideways, and polar bears. I didn’t ask any questions because I’m an adorable baby seal. Who is moving.
Protable refrigerator 12 vote – $75
brand NEW 12 vote Refer in the box , it comes with the 12 vote ciggrate adptor, or you can buy an extra 110 vote adptor, use it in your house,use it in a Car or Pick up , camping, fishing, hunting, trailer,or boat or what ever you need to. . It is about 32-36 inch high,about 18 by 18 , I think it can make ice, it was my Dads. brand New portable camp stove Three burner,gas,Lp.never been open, $75.00 .. it sold for aproxment $120.00 with tax. about same price for the Refer. ..Cash Only..
When did the legislation pass giving refrigerators the right to vote? More importantly, why do they get twelve votes? If they want twelve votes, they should get them like the rest of us do — by illegally registering our dogs and cats to vote and then showing up saying, “Why, yes, I’m ‘Fido’ Miller, why do you ask? Allow me to introduce you to my wife ‘Miffy’ and my daughter ‘Mittens’. I’m sorry? Of COURSE she’s eighteen — how dare you ask? Just because she’s only three feet tall and is wearing a Justin Bieber shirt is no reason for you to question her age. My daughter Emily — I mean Mittens — will be voting now, thank you very much. Now remember, Emil — er, Mittens, don’t forget how I taught you to fill in the ballot.”
Yeah, this one is definitely getting the “maybe it’s just me” tag.
Thanks, majik13den!
So if you stuff 12 votes into the 110 vote adapter you can increase your votage by nearly a factor of 10!
Wow, I bet the Republicans are kicking themselves for not thinking of that in the last election. Talk about economy of cheating.
But the jokes really on them, because I rented the Democrats my 220 vote adapter for a handsome fee. Seems to have done the trick.
“a handsome fee” is not helping erase the Balrog scene
He’s getting groped in The Box today.
That didn’t sound right.
Actually the groping failed, he got whipped. Not that whipping is any better.
Yeah, I’ve noticed that the weirder I make myself look, the more likely somebody will stick me in the box.
Ok, that doesn’t sound right at all.
And how many cubical knives does the box measure?
I might need to whip out the milliknife for this measurement.
TM – Does Mrs. Taco sigh a lot and smile indulgently? It’s common practice here at the Eyebrows residence when the 13-year-old boy that lurks just beneath the surface in Mr. Eyebrows presents itself.
Rolls her eyes and pretends she can’t hear me.
This goes double when I’m in my “Pun Moods”.
Yesterday:
Taco: MY GODS! There’s cow in my coffee!
Mrs. Taco: What?
Taco: Look, right there, plain as day: De calf! Baby cow in my coffee!
Mrs. Taco: *Eyeroll, pretends to be engrossed playing with the baby*
Previously:
Taco: This coffee has a really nice leg to it. But only the lower leg of course.
Mrs. Taco: Do I want to know?
Taco: You know, it’s got de calf. It’s a nice one too.
Mrs. Taco: Yup, I didn’t.
Very Punny.
Well now we know what causes puns in Taco.
De-Caf
And caffeine causes a rift in his time-space continuum of consciousness.
I also create lots of little projects for myself that I prattle on incessantly about with a high degree of 13 year old excitement. I’m pretty sure she’s gotten used to recognizing my tone so that she can tune out everything between “Hey you know what?” and “So I just need to figure that out and I can start!”
As nicknames go, Taco, that one doesn’t inspire awe. Most guys go with a more substantial tool, like “the hammer.”
IrregularFractal would be proud.
Indeed! My motto has always been that at least my wrinkles (when I get them, mind you) will be laugh lines and not frowny ones.
Hmm, maybe subliminally I selected TM for the pleasure of punching him. Naw, I’m just partial to Balrogs. The first D&D filk song I ever learned had a Balrog in it. “You bash the Balrog and I’ll climb the tree,” sung to Waltzing Matilda.
Sweet memories.
Taco – It doesn’t seem to take much effort on your part.
I hate getting here late in the day….. *sigh*
Carry on people…
I know, me too. =/
Where? Where are the carrion people? And when did we stop calling them zomb
I believe the correct PC term is “undead-American”, but “carrion-American” should work just as well. (Unless you’re not in America.)
These damn illegal undead are everywhere! Stealing jobs from real Americans, not speaking the language, and raising crime in the big cities! I say NO to allowing undead immigration! Join me my brothers; help me prevent zomb
“12 vote Refer in the box”
Is this a new drug reference? It took me forever just to figure out what Chronic was.
Maybe I just need the sleep that evaded me last night.
“Hey man, you got any Refer?”
“Yeah man, it comes 12 “votes” to a box. How many you want?”
“You got any that’s minty?”
Does it make you crave vintage cereals and dumpster cheesey poofs?
You also have the inexplicable desire to stalk women based on what designer handbag they are carrying.
And to buy a red table that you can take for free from a ROOFER ROOFER ROOFER once you get the okay from your hypnodog overlords.
Refer-in-the-box is like a Jack-in-the-box, only it pops out job references.
Jack-in-the-box = evil. Those things always scared me to death.. kind of like the toaster.
So I’m guessing The Brave Little Toaster was not your movie then.
On a related note: The Brave Little Toaster is a horrible movie to show anyone with disposophobia.
I’m guessing a tramatic peekaboo incident.
I think The Brave Little Toaster might have been what caused my fear of vacuums.*
*This is actually true. You should see me try to use one; I sort of dance around the room, always keeping my feet as far from the sucking mechanism as possible.
Maybe you were a cat in a past life.
I had a cat who loved to ride the vacuum. But he was a weird cat all over. Best friend was a dog, hated canned food, and loved to try to jump up on the table saw while it was running (we had to ban him from the garage).
SJ: I might have been. I’m very cat-like in other ways, too.
So you like to sleep on the couch all day and attack unsuspecting toes at night?
The walking one-red-eye kind of toaster? Yeah they can ruin your whole day.
I would love to sleep on the couch all day…but, as far as I know, I don’t attack toes in the night. Although, Severus (my avatar) doesn’t either, so that may not be a necessary element of catness.
Based on my small sample size (three cats) I would say about one third of cats attack toes. All of them love the sunny spot on the couch.
It’s been soooooooo long since I’ve seen good CatMath….
*cracks knuckles, scratches catulator ears and chin*
Let’s see, we take 75 votes, add refers, divide by the collective IQ of Congress, carry the two, add the ‘nip factor….
*blinks*
Um…I’m getting – Tony Hayward…
*walks away muttering to self*
Did you subtract the whiskas?
You forgot to subtract 36 inches from 32, buy an extra 110 vote adptor and then think about making ice. Crush imaginary ice in blender and we all get = margaritas!
*stands in line*
Subtract the whiskas, crush the ice, add the ‘rita ingredients, lather, rinse, repeat…and repeat…
What wuz the queshion?…er..quetzion..er..hic..
*walks, rather unsteadily, away in search of answers*
You can’t divide by zero (collective IQ of congress) even in catmath.
Artsy is right, I tried…
http://www.mathcats.com/
Funny. I’m getting the cubed root of Holden Caulfield. And then when I use the Mr. Mittens Order of Operations, the screen goes red, and tells me, “I’m sorry Dave, I’m afraid I can’t do that.” But my name’s not Dave, see.*
*Expect loads of literary references in the next few days. We just went to the library the other day, and I’ve already finished Ender’s Shadow, Children of the Mind, and 2001: A Space Odyssey. I have I think 3 more books to go.
Dave … step away from the catulator Dave. Dave is that hair I see?
Read all of the Dune books while you’re at it!
And Ulysses!
GutenBerg Ulysses Linky.
I’ll get it on my next trip to the library. Books on the computer aren’t conducive to reading into the wee hours of the night when you’re 15 years old. Also, having apparently been completely wrong with what I thought was happening when I read the last chapter of 2001*, and going on what you all say Ulysses is like, I don’t think I’m quite ready for it yet.
*This may have been because it was 2:something in the morning, and I was tired, but determined to finish the thing.
Yeah, the last chapter of 2001 is kinda “acid trippy”. Took me a few reads to get the gist of that one.
At least it avoids the movie’s 15 minutes of padding as he “travels”.
Lots of Ulysses is fairly trippy as well. However, having read both, the one that threatened my sanity was Finnegans Wake.
Hey, Kubrick paid a lot for those high-tech graphics, and wanted the pacing to get the audience to also want to get to the end, while also having time to consider the journey.
Ok, so, it’s better when Bender repreises it on Futurama, but that’s the price of being first. (That, and the studio still has the 2-ton clear lucite monolith that was cast and then rejected for black.)
I want that monolith! I need a coffee table in front of my ottom! But I want it for FREE! Does anybody have Zarathustra’s cell #?
No, but I bet I know what his ring tone is.
Me too. Does it start out really quiet and then gets all long and drawn out and dramatic? *chuckle*
I wish I had a bone I could thrown into the air.
I want the monolith, too. I could have so much fun with that thing. Starting, of course, with placing it in my sister’s room while she sleeps. She would be so confused waking up to it, especially because she wouldn’t even get the reference.
Astro, the spare one is the same size as the black one they built–24″x 96″ x 144″
Getting an eight by twelve foot ton of lucite in to your sister’s room through a 30-36″ wide 6′-8″ door could be a problem.
Them mocked up a plexiglass tetrahedron (closer to what was in the book) but Kubrick was never satisfied with the color or the transparency, or the “loom” it had on set.
I see.
And now, I’ve decided I want one for my front yard when I grow up. But it would have to be one of the black ones, such as the one on the Moon. I could use the thing as a sundial, and as a way to keep things interesting whenever the neighbors came over.
Bwahahah.
Curious intersection of a History of Ancient Architecture class, a design class with a smart-donkey professor (still one of my faves) and some free time during college caused the creation of a monolith-henge.
Center piece being a 1×12 frame with black visqueen (6mil polyethylene plastic) to 12″ x 48″ x 96″ dimension. The markers for astronomical events were different flat bits of material in 1:4:9 proportions.
In retrospect
A, good that the prof’s wife was understanding (or was so free in appending “donkey” to other endearments she used). Especially since it was her lawn. Again.
B, a proper henge works ever so much better in that a circular array of multiple “gates” is easier to lay out, than a central stone to landed alignment points.
C, we should have used the luan door veneers we were offered free.
“…it sold for aproxment $120.00 with tax…
So you already sold it for more than you were asking for and decided to brag about it?
Previously on Immaculate Lost of House Stuff:
Mudslicker: Guys, I can’t find the seal! We need the seal in order to get to the next level of stuff; without it we’re stuck here!
LimeLolly: We could just leave through the front door, this place kinda sucks anyway. How about we go for ice cream?
Mudslicker: NO! We must reach the 7th level of unspoiled stuff!
*Scene Change*
Grampdaddy: I keep seeing these damn numbers everywhere in this house! It’s like my birthday with a bunch of extra numbers, and none of them correct for my birthday!
SaraJean: Gramps, that’s a calendar from 1983. And you’ve been carrying it around with you.
Grampdaddy: Don’t get smart with me young lady! In my day we had a single calendar from 1728, and we were thankful!
*Scene Change*
Taco: Look, if we don’t update this post on Craigslist every 3 hours, the world will end!
Keelhaulrose: No, I don’t think it will. It’s just a moving sale.
Taco: That’s what they all say, but you weren’t here when I forgot to update it yesterday. I think I was the reason your car crashed.
Keelhaulrose: Uh, my car didn’t crash. In fact it’s parked outside.
That’s nothing like Lost, it actually makes a little bit of sense.
Sorry, I’ve had too much coffee for Lost level nonsense.
I might be able to give you something in the neighborhood of Logan’s Run, though.
Could I see something in a Blade Runner bizarre, but with a touch less emotion from the lead?
I could maybe give you Lt. Commander Data as the Highlander.
Could you maybe do a lost “House” episode?
The one with the seal?
Ooo, and make it have lupus! That would be a real twist.
I think the Cigarette Smoking Man should have lupus. Him, or the annoying chick from “Burn Notice.”
My vote is for A-Team, with a little bit of BatMan: Dark Knight in there.
How about Spiderman and Dick Tracey team up to take down Wolfram & Heart?
Taco: I’m commanding you to change into a red shirt immediately!!!
This, like the [above mentioned] seal, had to move suddenly—too far down in the queue .
Sheesh, y’all never delivered pizzas?
House of the first seal is three down and across the street from the 7th…
Still get a twinge, on those rare occasions I drive down Stemmons Freeway in Dallas, and see the building that was modeled into the Logan’s Run set (among other films). Still cannot imagine how the modern version of LR will work–mostly in how it will not be like how h’wood operates anyway, all glorious excess until you reach 35, then one either lies or dies.
According to Wikipedia, which must be the total truth, there have been a number of attempts at a remake over the years but they have never gotten out of the pre-production stages. It would be interesting to see what they could do with modern effects and if they could get something that is closer to the book.
SJ, I could have sworn I’d heard (or read) that a new LR had been green-lighted, if very recently. I was driving, so I had plenty of (or too much) time to think about how the iuvenili-phillic h’wood moguls would twist the story line.
Now, me, I’d cast it as a twist on Eloi v. Morlocks, but our group here would be the only ones to “get” the satire of nihilistic society thus implied. Which would then necessitate lots of explosions and sfx to ‘sell’ the thing to the studio goons.
:checks Wikipedia:
The most recent director was hired back in May of last year, the most recent screenwriter in June.
If I’m remembering right(been a while since I read it), the book was much darker than the movie, but the darker bits were probably too much for ‘Seventies cinema.
[corey] There is no such film as Batman: Dark Knight in existence. The film I believe you are referring to is simply The Dark Knight[/corey]
**files YSaC House spoof quietly next to YSaC LotR spoof and YSaC-opoly game ideas.**
*chastised*
I only saw it once..
*pouts*
I didn’t inherit a photographic memory, dadgumit!
Interesting how in each scene there is one reasonable person paired with one slightly less reasonable person.
*Had to edit because I left off half of my sentence.
Yup. I like duality. Duality good.
Why hello there, Mr. Dent.
Good point Kelli – I wonder what was the matter with Limelolly, SaraJean, and Keelhaulrose? They seemed really strange.
No washers were available.
And dern it.. .now I want ice cream.
LL – I can offer you a Drumstick, some Dibbs, an ice cream sandwich, vanilla ice cream or orange sherbet.
Sounds good.. load me up.. I’ll take one of each… it’s 100+ degrees here today.
Lolly,lolly,lolly,
Get your ice cream here
Lolly, lolly, lolly,
Get your ice cream here
Sorry, every time I see your name, Limelolly, I get a hankering for an adverb.
It’ll probably be 100+ here until August.
Chocolate Drumstick in my frezzer calling my name.
Best one line poem, ever.
Drumstick: Divine cone my defined koan.
Elebenty!! +Doors. Adore. Dora Explora! Wait, how many is that in numbers?
Mudsy, I can help with the seal – I’ve got a deck of cards. Let me find the clubs (diamond, diamond, spade, diamond) – here we go, 3 of clubs. Now, where’s that darn seal – won’t be moving for long……
*goes back to check calendar – “Hah, knew my birthday wasn’t in Christmas – Damn kids messin’ with me….”*
Save the seals!
I hear they taste like chicken if you use enough barbeque sauce.
So that implicitly implies the implication that seals tastes like babies.
Easter seals – they keep returning.
(Burp – excuse me!)
Babby Seal Tartare is the absolute best though. The taste haunts you forever. Add a little anchovy paste with a hot salsa … you’ve got yourself some fine cuisine. Of course, you may feel the urge to dive into the cold ocean for your next meal, but that side-effect is undocumented.
I found this important statistic when looking up the side effects of Babby Seal Tartare:
9 out of 10 doctors agree that the 10th doctor is a nonconforming douchebag.
Then those 9 doctors should club the 10th into submission, don’cha think?
“Oops, he looked like a babby seal. And we were hungry. ”
I like my seals “club safe” thank you [do like Starkist does, and club the ugly tuna instead!]
Who doppelgangered my usual YSaC crew and replaced them with all you cold-hearted artic zomb… *
*I blame this on Taco
I blame him too.
That Jerk.
Steve Martin you are not!
I’m more like him than you think:
No matter how I dress up I still look like myself and I have no skills as an actor.
Zing.
Do you resemble a spastic lemur and have the worse French accent ever, too?
I could look beyond all those shortcomings if you could sing a few lines of King Tut—in your jammies.
If he wears his jammies… we’ll all see his ‘shortcomings’.
Oh… I get it, Mudsy… you sly devil you.
Steve martin in SJ’s jammies?
Are there 21 nose jokes or has someone named Roxanne wandered by?
See what I did there…?
For some reason I can only picture Taco in some sort of Power of Grayskull/Dune/Star Hors/ jammies.
Who’s doing what in my jammies?
I believe Taco is doing Steve Martin impressions in them.
That , or doing Steve martin imitating Eddie Murphy singing Roxanne . . .
I’m moving this.
Moving… where? All the other dimensions are full.
In a* word: Of course!
*I tend to lie a bit
I’m not buying that cabnet if it isn’t French Preventional. It has to match the rest of my stuffe.
Query: how the hell do you misspell “cabnet” and “scren” but not miscellaneous?
As for the second one, I am totally curious about the catmath involved in “adpting” 12 votes to 110. And also where the vowels in that word went. Did someone buy them?
And the Lp with the camp stove – it plays records, too! Sign me up. $75 for something that combines turnovers and turntables is something I must own.
Is it really a good idea to put vinyl close to a heat source? I seem to remember “accidently” melting and warping my sister’s records by putting them under the radiator.
They do that on purpose now. I saw it on TV (Well, HGTV) so it must be true.
Balance an unwanted or poorly guarded vinyl record on top of an oversafe bowl, stick them in the oven, and heat it until the record melts and falls onto the bowl, giving you a bowl that is slightly larger that the one you used as a mold, but with the added benefits of having a hole in the bottom. (and likely being unsafe for food anyway)
Wow, toxic flower pots! Awesome!
I’m gonna grow my peppers in those next year! Way better than the buckets I’ve been reusing from all my pool chemicals!
And you can use it for mainlining margaritas. Simply place the hole in the”record bowl” above the mouth and have someone carefully pour the 5 gallon thermos of margaritas into the bowl – slowly.
Note: does not work for mojitos – mint gets stuck in the hole.
But Grampdaddy… everyone wants a minty hole!
Um, sorry, that should have been said yesterday, right?
*blushes and retreats to corner*
Pepperminty, spearminty, or doubleminty?
Teehee.
(s)he* said minty.
*I say (s)he not to be offensive, but because I now read all your comments as if said by the Nasonex Bee.
*swish, swish, swish, swipe*
*adjust mask, flip cape, sheath saber*
‘M’
“Who was that masked marauder?”
* Minty was here. *
Additional query: or immaculate?
This should have been WAAAAY up under Lola’s query about miscellaneous.
Actually, it’s probably because of the fact that they had a feeling that, of all words, they would speel those wrong, and so were at a leevl of alertness smipler wrdos dn’ot warrant.
You may be on to something there, Astro, although it seems folks occassionnally have difficulty with words containing multiple consonants.
Or, they could just be Catholic.
Inverter that converts DC current into undulating sine wave AC current sometimes uses cheap parts to “clip” bottom and top of the sine waves (side effect of 10x change and the mathematics of electromagnetism).
This “clipping” is notorious in the ‘lectronic biz for all sorts of unwanted effects, eliding vowels could be possible, if under-documented.
I keep thinking that it’s transformers that step up/down the volts and thus helping to negate the effect of lost electrons…but I’m too lazy to look that up to confirm.
Plus, I like the mental picture I get of a robot grabbing a 750KV power line..but that’s just me.
Transformer is the easy part. Take a an iron rod and wrap a wire around it a known number of times. Pass source electrical current through that.
Take a second rod, wrap wire around it nnX times proportionate to the change desired. From 12 to 120, then 10x.
Magnetic flux occurs 90º to electrical current flow, and proportionate to amps, frequency, et al. Which then determines both the diameter of the core rod, but also the distance of one rod to the other.
Magnetic field created by first rod causes electrical flow in the second wire-wrapped rod. Electrical flow will then run through the second wire proportionately.
If with some losses. Magnetic flux causes heat, which interferes with efficient electron flow. Also, there is a log function for the amount of change you can induce.
Inverter (at least a sinusoidal one) uses an oscillator. This is basically a “pole” reversing device, so that the electrical flow reverses in the transformer. To get a since function, some of the amplified power is fed back to the oscillator. Third leg on a diode makes this middling simple circuitry, really. Too simply, sometimes, which will flatten the top off the sine wave. As will the change from 12VDC at 200 amps to 120VAC at 10-15 amps; that’s about 2400 watts mushed down to 1200-1800 means sticking regulating ‘gates’ in the way.
And that my friends is why you don’t play with electricity.
I think baby seals are the cutest things in the universe. If baby seals wanted to take over the world, I’d let them.
Well, it’s not like a mouse with an unblubler could fight them off now, is it?
Cuter then a Sugar Glider?
Yes, Taco, SilvaNoir is cuter than a sugar glider. And she draws better, too.
Awwwwwwwwww! It’s a Sugar Glider and a Babby Seal in the same day!
**quickly clears throat and straightens up**
Uh, I mean… Football! Monster Trucks! CoD! Man-Stuff!
**discreetly switches tabs to stare at the little Sugar Glider**
My cousin (or so I’ve been lead to believe) in Tennessee has both a Sugar Glider, a Flying Squirrel, and a little Shih Tzu named Sissy who also responds to Little Shit equally well as her name.
What about the Fennec?
What about it?
WANT.
(Same for sugar glider and babbbby seal.)
Look at the size of those ears! I bet you couldn’t open a can of wet food in the same county without them showing up.
OMG want! And am I the only one who thinks a Fennec looks like a Pokemon? Also seriously considering how best to breed a sugar glider and fennec to create a being which will explode people’s heads with its cuteness…
You know it just occurred to me that anyone stumbling onto this site for the first time would have not a clue what’s being said…and I dig that. I’m such a snob….
“I” have no clue what we are saying… and I didn’t fall out of the nest yesterday.
Ditto!
Me too!
Well, it wasn’t a nest…
… it was more of a hive, I believe…
And look!
No stings attached!
I can never remember if I’ve fallen off the turnip truck or off the wagon…
I thought it was a car for your daughter.
I think they would probably be looking over their shoulders trying to find the men in the white jackets.
For them or for us?
Yes.
There are days, even after coffee, when arriving at this site gives me the sense that I have no idea what is being said. And I’ve written most of what makes no sense. And I don’t remember writing it. And I’m so confused. And you can’t touch me and I won’t touch you and you can’t touch yourself or the seal or the sugar glider or Taco or the Tacobox or play with my washer…
You can, however, buy a red table for free…and I dig that. I’m such a slob….
That’s the best part of the site. YSaC really is an amazing place. I mean, where else do you get this quality of humor with all the in-jokes. Okay, maybe Marching Band, but where else but the web do you see such a varied demographic of ages, locations, and backgrounds (I’d say race, but, being the web, I have little way to tell) all interacting in such a way?
Plus, we have rare vintage cereals.
And minty shells, Astro. Don’t forget the minty shells…
Well said Astro Boy!
On behalf of all the lurkers, I’d like to thank the regular cast for the high-quality snark, in-jokes and surrealism that I enjoy on a regular basis.
I’d attempt commenting but I tend towards the Dull and Pedantic (TM) myself so it would be rather like putting a speed bump in the middle of a high-speed snarkway.
Carry on…
PLEASE!
Did uh… Did Moira just say that I’m dull and pedantic?
Cause you know… nail on the head and stuff.
:waves to lurkers:
Hi guys! You shouldn’t be afraid to comment on anything. Given the odd tangents that often occur, I can’t think of anything that wouldn’t be welcomed.
As proof, I direct your attention to the seal-clubbing jokes up there.^
I’m still chuckling over the high-speed snarkway.
See? Grampdaddy totally gets me….sigh…
Now, no matter what day/time/millenium/solar eclipse/”Lost” episode is being referenced, I never understand what Capn is saying…it just sounds so lyrical I don’t care.
Gramps: I misread the first few words of your post to read: “There are seven days of cofee.”
I had two initial reactions:
1) Only seven?! That sucks.
2) On the Seventh day of Coffee my true love said to me:
HOLYCRAPSEVENDAYSOFDRINKINGCOFFEEISWAYTOFREAKING
MUCHIHAVENTSLEPTINFOURDAYSANDYETICANTSTOPDRIKING
THISSTUFFARRGGGGHHHHHTACOSPLODE
Dr. Krunklehorn: I haven’t slept in eight days.
Teacher: Well, can I offer you a cot?
Dr. Krunklehorn: Nope. I’ve got the caffeine patch. I invented it myself.(slaps patch on teacher’s forehead) One patch is the equivalent to twelve cups of coffee.(pushes up sleeve to reveal several patches) You can stay awake for days with no side effects. (screams, scaring teacher) Sorry. What’s that?
Moral of that movie:
If you ever screw up, you can use a time machine to fix it! That way there are no bad consequences!
Alternately:
Hats are evil.
That movie was actually pretty funny.
And yes, hats are evil.
Gee TM – you cleared up what I was trying to say. The way you put it is so much more direct and eliminates any possibility of confusion. I do have just one question left that I hope you can help me with: FTW are you talking about?
Oh, never mind – I just had sammiches and I’m all better now. Coffee, coffee, coffee,coffee,coffee,cccccccccccoooooooooooooooofffffffffffffffffffffffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Grampdaddy, you broke the stylesheet!
Aw Man – I didn’t mean to break it. I know – it must have been the sammiches. Yummy tuna sammiches – No way it could have been the CCCCCCOOOOOOFFFFFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
If you were trying to not break it again, you’ll need significantly more llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeettttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.
You can borrow some of mine.
Actually TM – I think you may be on to something there with the “Seven Days of Coffee:
“On the morning of the first day, Barrista looked out and separated the water from the grounds, and put them into their respective containers. And the sun rose and the sun set, and the Barrista saw that it was good.”
“On the morning of the second day, Barrista said,”I shall take the water and make it hot, and pour it upon the grounds, and a wonderful fragrance shall fill the air.” And the sun rose and the sun set, and the Barrista saw that it was good.”
“On the morning of the third day, Barrista said, “I shall take dark roasted beans and pack them tightly into their holder. I will then pass very hot water under pressure through them, and I say the name shall be ‘Expresso’. And the sun rose and the sun set, and the Barrista saw that it was VERY good.”
“On the morning of the fourth day, Barrista said, “Man, I didn’t sleep at all last night – felt like I was totally buzzed. But,wow,doIhavelotsofenergyandIcangetallkindsof thingsdonereallyreallyquickly. And the sun rose and the sun set, and the Barrista saw that it was good.(and mellow).”
“On the morning of the fifth day, Barrista said, “OMGHYPERHYPERSQUIRRELSHINY
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
And the sun rose and the sun set, and the Barrista dropped dead, heart stopped from caffeine overload.
Crap – what are we gonna do for days six and seven now. Only one thing I can think of:
“On the morning of the sixth day, Zomb – Arrgh”
And on the morning of the Seventh day, their brains having been eaten, they posted Craigslist ads. And it was good*.
*”Good” is a term of art and may not correspond with generally accepted definitions.
Come on, guys! I have to keep this place clean until the bosses get back! don’t make me shun you!
I actually worry about that sometimes. I’m wondering if I should start a page that explains some of the in-jokes so that people can catch up.
I know that someone started something similar in the forums — would that work?
If you’re referring to the YSaC Meme’s thread; it could use a little updating to be more wholly inclusive, but a link to it for the new people might be a good move.
No, I prefer to be exclusive and a snob. Research should not come easily.
😉
Well, the problem being that memes are constantly changing. Also, I feel it’s better to just read through, starting at the beginning. Perhaps at the top of the page could be a link to Vol. 1, and it could say something involving new people going from the beginning and reading until the get to the end.
I can say as a relative newbie that the “few of my favorite things” list is plenty to get someone jump started. Then you just start reading. And then you’re ignoring the kids because PEOPLE ARE SAYING FUNNY SNARKY THINGS ON TEH INTERWEBS!
Which is why I tell* myself I don’t comment a lot. Got to wipe noses & bums.
*Really it’s because I know I’m not as funny.**
**But in my head I’m hilarious. Just sayin’.
All I can say is I gave up facebook for this site. Even my mother mentioned that she never sees me online anymore. Is there a 12-step program for YSaC or can I count on this being a life-long… affliction.
I think the party room that is YSaC will be well-populated long into the future.
LimeLolly, if you find a 12-step program, sign me up…at this rate, I’m never going to pass the bar. On that note…I should go for now.
If you’re not passing the bar anyway, could you get me a refill of my kamikaze?
Oh, you definitely should comment – anybody who spends time wiping noses and bums is hilarious – just look at Taco. He wanders around downtown looking for winos and transients to wipe.
Oops, sorry TM – I bet I wasn’t supposed to mention that, was I? OK then, EVERYBODY IGNORE what it says up above.
There, all better. 🙂
Those of us who care will do the research.
Catching up on CatMath gave me some of the best giggles I’ve had this year.
I agree, Moira. The thrill of the hunt and all. And ain’t the “Eureka” moment grand?
Well, the style sheet has enough fun and joy in it now, yes?
Which is why I stopped doodling on a way to cause angle-bracket [corey] tags to actually insert a link to whichever most current link was most apt.
The fact that the memes have a life of their own makes a simple “first use” links complicated for educating the new readers.
The Fora are also complicated, too. One for not being obvious to the new-comers. Second, for the fact that we ‘regulars’ just can’t not stick a well-deserved oar in the seas of snark.
Now, hosting space and bandwith will complicate my other thought, which would be a lean, inter-linked FAQ (or “Terms of Snark”) table. But, that might be the elegant solution. So, and entry could be “Bees” which would then have a link to the bee-covered truck post, but also to its 1st use as a blessing as another table entry, before having a simple text declaration of “current” use.
Consider what the bibliography and discography of this place would be like. Oh, and videography too. Movies, tv shows, series, books by the library-load, music from Devo to Dvorak to Dr Dre and the like.
Sounds extremely complicated (to create) but remarkably simplistic (to view and read).
I think the only thing I had to ask about when I started commenting was the [corey]. However, I’d been reading the blog for quite a while before I chose to comment, and, while I haven’t actually read every post from the inception (I intend to), I read all the posts in the “favorite things,” and wasted some time browsing through old posts in a somewhat haphazard manner (clicking on tags and/or clicking on the related posts links). So, I was pretty much caught up anyway.
Bridgete used exactly my method for getting from back to front here.
It’s a workable technique, with a wonderful sense for following roads less traveled,
rather than an orderly progression from start to finish.
The latter method, in my observation, has difficulties in that the post count increases rather stoutly, the further along to current we get, and the personalities change along with the memes, too–but not in any sort of linear sort of way.
Now, given the number of posts, and the fact that they pop up all through a given thread, what we may need is a “New” flag; or, even better, a “new to me” flag. Which is more work and more hosting space, too. And more work is not what I would wish upon our dear hosts, Bees Be Upon them.
Way my joints and head feels right now, I’m not sure if it’s Bletesday or not.
You’ve been swarmed?
trying to dull out my brain, to make it more attractive to zombies.
Zombies?
Zombies?
[crickets]
Zomb…
Oh… blete in some language means ‘bee’.. that’s what I thought you were referring to.
*edit: it’s supposedly Albanian. I have no idea where I picked up knowledge of that word. Just random stuff in my head.. .
Wow, really, I let my brain “sound out” a prefix to “day” at random.
Had some Albanian neighbors one tour while growing up, may have picked up the term and not realized it.
Why do you think I had to lurk for so long before I could participate?
Was it your fear of vacuum cleaners?
EDIT: Somehow my mind changed appliances as I scrolled down.
Fear of Pop Tarts—clown Pop Tarts!
TM, now I want to know what appliance you thought I was afraid of before you fixed it.
I think it said toasters the first time.
it DID say “toasters”
*they must be in the small appliances protection program so he changed it for fear of repercussions.
I don’t blame him. That bread when it starts tanning.. gets a little mean. Haven’t you ever gotten a black eye from toast before?
No… just me.. hmm. Still, I don’t mess with toasters. They just go off unexpectedly. And if you don’t speak kindly, they burn your things.
One of my D&D characters has a phobia of all grilled bread products. Specifically for toast, but he has a healthy distrust of waffles, pancakes, English muffins, crumpets, tea cakes, etc. Last game we played he was certain that they were behind the recent disappearance of the royal family.
The GM informed me that he was sorely temped to change the plot just so that would actually be the case.
I think it’s just shyness. I jumped in before I knew what ‘mine hors’ were. Besides we all can’t be funny all the time. Somebody has to be the straight man in this vaudeville act. Or maybe it’s like Gilligan’s Isle?? Maybe Rowan and Martin’s Laugh-In?
Anyway… what was I saying?
Oh, I think most people are like Kajagoogoo says: “too shy shy hush hush eye to eye”.
Actually, it started out as mine hores and we all decided to morph it for some reason.
As an aside, do you know that I can’t read your posts LL without putting an Antonio Banderas voiceover to them? That pic of “Boots” is my all time favorite and I don’t usually go for “cutesy”.
I’m not shy, per se, but I tend to observe groups of people for a bit before I start participating. I’ll strike up a one-on-one conversation no problem, but groups all have their own dynamic, and I like to get a sense of that dynamic before I dive in. I think this is also why I was drawn to sociology in college.
Everyone thinks that Shrek & Donkey were the only funny characters on Shrek… but if you watch the Shrek movies often enough (my child insists on watching at least once a week), Puss has the sneakiest snark ever.
Oh, I totally think Puss is the best one.
Okay, okay, I really have to go now. The bar exam is looming.
Good luck on the exams! My best friends’ S.O. just went through those in Boston last year.
Good luck!
Now, to share my lurking story:
I lurked for quite a while before I joined in, because I’m apprehensive of joining groups, especially those with a distinct dynamic and lots of in-jokes. So I waited. I studied. And then I struck, and stayed.
And, if I may speak for the YSaC community, we are certainly glad you did. Let your story be the inspiration for lurkers everywhere!
I thought I thanked Astro and Mudsy for the wishes of good luck…huh. Another comment eaten by zomb
The YSaC Primer. Hooray! A book idea drmk and Dan can run with! 8) And sign and do the tour stuff like CakeWreaks.
Of all the misspellings, my favorite is Sandera.
Yes, but that could be the way she actually spells it. I was struggling with a name pronunciation one day, until I realized that Donta was the same as Dante. Names are the one thing where you can basically do whatever you like in terms of spelling, and it’s not wrong. (Weird, tasteless, annoying, perhaps, but not wrong.)
I taught a girl once whose name was LaChianti.
It was pronounced la-SHIN-ta.
She told me at the end of the year she was named after the wine.
Was her sister’s name LaFavabeans?
I now ask new students how to pronounce their names. I offended Flesha (Felicia), Andra (Andre) Sidonia (Sidonna), Kennan (Keenan), and my favorite Leujeua (Layla).
I have a feeling Leujeua does not actually pronounce her name Layla, and it is similar to how one of my peers who has the name Woo-Jing (and I pray he never reads this, because I’m sure I’ve misspelled it horribly, and he will go all Korean Ninja on me if he finds out) but goes by Danny.
Being fluent in Korean, I can tell for certain that the proper Korean pronunciation of Woo-Jing is “Timmy.”
When I was 19 and lived in Cleveland, I knew a grown woman named Baby Girl. Her mother just liked the way it sounded with their last name.
What was the last name? Human?
No, but that would have been made of awesome. I try not to judge other mothers’ name choices too harshly considering I let the idiot name our third child after an X-man.
Your third child is named Wolverine? Awesome.
hehe.. I was thinking Rogue or Magneto would have been cool names.
My sister’s sister in law named their first son Riker Quigley.
(They are Star Trek fans. Not sure where the Quigley bit comes from.)
Camille – No she’s not named after that X-man, even I have standards.
LL – Magneto is a name that really sticks with you.
Nightcrawler?
Xavier?
Gambit?
Colossus? (Best way to end up with a short kid).
Beast?
Cyclops?
Banshee?
Storm?
Did you name her Sabertooth?
You should name your next female addition (be they human or pet) Stan Lee.
No one has guessed her name yet and since I have to go to work, I’ll be merciful and tell y’all it’s Jubilee. Strangely enough, her older sister Jo has a Jubilee in her PE class.
Damn, I almost guessed that!
Astro – the last pet that I was allowed to name was Zarquon. He was a cat.
/namecorey Not a misspelling, just a variation. http://www.thinkbabynames.com/meaning/0/Sandera /end namecorey
As someone with a less popular variant of a name, I never assume someone has spelled a name wrong.
Yeah, me too. The variant in my name wasn’t even intentional. Apparently my mom was exhausted (understandably) when they were filling out the birth certificate, so she insisted on spelling it with -ete at the end, instead of -ette. I like the way it turned out though. =)
Makes my brain hurt, “sendero” is “path” in Spanish, it’s also masculine, so the gender change is irksome.
Or, the Luminoso have managed to ruin sendero for me.
Just not tekateka-do today for me.
Capn, what’s popular nowadays is to give your child a non-gender-specific name. As a grammy who is always explaining that she has a beautiful grandDAUGHTER and not a grandson named after a character from The Godfather, it will be interesting to see where this trend leads. I see additional confusion ahead…
My eldest niece has one of those could-be-either names. It was very annoying when she was tiny and would be sitting in a pink stroller, wearing pink from head to toe and strangers would still refer to her as “he” when they heard her name.
Your granddaughter’s name is Luca Brasi? 8)
The Tacos vowed to avoid the trendy naming fiascoes of the modern era. We’ve succeeded for the most part. Granted my wife’s name of choice became woefully trendy the year before pregnancy.
We went with it anyway, because it is a real name. (Not Tron)
Our other selection of names for future mini Tacos are also nice, boring, and spelled in the ‘classical’ (correct) way. While all the teachers are fumbling over all the permutive spelling of the “aiden” “tailour” and “alivya” groups, our kids are only going to trip up the teacher when they hit our last name (Millar).
Hint: Pronounce the following word out loud: Pillar.
If you said “pill are” you fail at life.
Also, people always assume I’ve spelled my last name incorrectly. I have a doppleganger at work with all the same email except with the more recognized “e”. He gets most of my emails the first couple of times I do buisness with a vendor.
TaceMagic?*
*with the more recognized “e”
oh, oh, oh, nevermind.
Having a “classically” spelled name is not much fun, especially if it is a very popular one. I went to school with over a dozen Saras and Sarahs and have worked with up to three others in the same office at the same time. The whole reason I started using Sara Jean is because I didn’t want to be Sara #1 or, heavens forbid, Old Sara.
I am nearly always the only Camille in the room. You would not believe the number of ways there are to mispronounce my first name. The people who pronounce it “Carmen” are graduates of the Unblubler School of Sounding It Out.
My child insists on changing the spelling of her given name. It officially is “Kira” but she always signs it Kir-uh—I think it’s a requirement that girl children are never satisfied with their given names or their hair texture/color.
Mudsy, you’re a mom? I don’t think I knew this. Bwahahaa! I bet you keep your kids on their toes!
Only one offspring! When she was born, I broke the mold! It was self-preservation. Hehe..
True SJ, but by the time our child is actually in school, the classic names are going to be the minority. Just about all my friends with kids have opted for either trendy names, or ‘unique’ (ass awful) spellings of classical names.
Our child is the ony one of two children in our sampling of 12 with a classical name with standard spelling. The irony that the classic names would be more unique to the group than the others has not been lost on me.
(The group: Haiden, Aiden, Jaydeen, Taiylor, Alyvya, Nevaeh x2, Aevya, Wesslee, Dryst, Liam, and James. There is another on the way but they haven’t
butcheredpicked a name yet.)Taco, your reference to James reminded me that a few years ago people were reversing it as Semaj. The reversal thing is nothing new – I was trying to figure out why I kept running across Scots-authored books with female characters named Senga, and finally, upon looking it up, discovered it was the reverse of Agnes. Honestly, I can’t decide which of those names is worse.
James is also growing in popularity as a girl name.
I really wish I was joking.
with the more recognized “e”
magia del taco?
oh [headslap d’oh!]
Taco Mage [insert Level here]
Some of those names sound to me like over-the-counter medications – take two Alyvya for your headache, and for allergy relief, try Dryst!
At some point, at least some of the “classic” names will be back in fashion. These things happen in waves. When I was a kid, all the girls were Linda and Lisa and Karen and Debbie. As my friends started having kids, every kid I knew was named Max or Zoe, then it was Old Testament names, now it’s typos, backwards names, and made-up OTC drugs.
My next child’s name will either be Dristan, Geritol or Stouffers.
I think Tampaxxx sort of sounds super-hero-ish (or stripper-ish) but may be a bit over the top.
I’m considering going with Thor God of Thunder.
I went to high school with a kid named Thor. Not kidding.
Thor certainly is “old school” Taco.
Camille:
But was his middle name “God of Thunder”?
That’s ok — my daughter thinks her name is “Katherine the Great” (part is actually correct).
Holy Corolla, TM, that’s an awful list of names… When I was pregnant with my (respectably named) Nathan, Mr. EB and I met children named Ava, Jerichah, and (not even kidding) Echo. Echo? Really? People nowadays… All those “ay” soundings…
(Though, Echo from Dollhouse was awesome. But that wasn’t really her name, so it’s OK.)
It behooves parents to consider first and last names as well. In my school, not all in my class, we had four Michael Jacksons, two Peter Parkers, a boy named Osha Scheiff (pronounced “safe”), and a Bonnie Parker.
My sister’s class has a Ben Dover.
My class this past year (because now it’s summer!) had a Taquieshiah. (pronounced Tə-KWEE-Shə)
My elementary school had a girl named Extasy.
That poor girl’s in for a lifetime of “Guess what I’m doing this weekend?” jokes.
Thankfully, they left off the Brasi part. (whew) And she truly is a bringer of light.
Archie … I was kidding!!! Um, wow.
… I was trying to think of one of the worst Godfather characters to be named after, and he came to mind (he’s even worse in the book).
On the other hand … there probably aren’t that many people like me who would think that. I mean, it’s not like they named her “Santino” (Sonny), or the more obvious, and male, “Tom Hagen.” And on its own, it’s definitely a fine name.
Lola, great shot in the dark then! 🙂
I know for a fact that they did not name her after the Godfather character. We actually get that reference quite often, usually accompanied by a look of utter horror. I believe they actually got the idea from a song (I think the one by Suzanne Vega).
And, thank you, it is indeed a fine name, especially when coupled with her middle name and our last name…an Italian Irish melody.
[corey] And this is why Germany requires parents to submit their choice for their baby’s first name to the office of vital statistics. The name must be appropriate for the gender of the child, and must not “endanger the well-being of the child.” Most people think that sounds harsh…going by this conversation, I think it’s perfectly reasonable. [/corey]
Good thing none of the Zappa children were born in Germany.
Oh, also, with the first/last name combinations. I knew a kid in college who insisted on going by William Gates, although that wasn’t really his parents’ fault since he was born in the early 80’s. I know, Microsoft was already in existence, but it wasn’t quite a household name yet. However, I also once encountered a guy named Robin Hood. That WAS his parents’ fault, unless he was a vampire. He definitely wasn’t a zomb
My son Alain has always been called Alaine when substitute teachers were in residence or the first day of school. He swears he’s going to change the spelling when he turns 18. However, lately, more people are pronouncing it correctly, especially if they meet him first, then see the name. And I think his girlfriend Sierra likes it.
Personally, if I had been named after a mountain range, my parents would have a lot of payback coming.
Yeah, well, I’ve given up trying to explain that Frances and Francis; Vivian and Vivien; Marian and Marion are not merely alternate spellings to the same name.
But, I was introduced to a Tucumcari Rosèe (who had been born in a commune), but Goes by “Sheila” for having been a watrix* in a Florida bar . . .
________________________
*One too many semesters of Latin; and Kinky Friedmann using it not merely as a song title word, but in the chorus of the song, having made it a term-of-art for me.
Oh lord, Kinky Friedman reference! The man travels his own path.
Just wondering about Sandera: Could it be the wandering “e” from “big scren tv” found it’s way down to Sparkette’s moniker? Or did she truly misspell her NAME??
Edit: Drats! I see Bianchi’s on the same track, just a mile or so ahead of me.
I don’t care what anyone says. I will not be convinced that she didn’t misspell her own name.
*pay no attention to Bianchi
*Mudsy, I try not to but then he goes and flashes all his Goddess regalia and, I tell ya, it’s really hard not to notice.
Am I the only one that noticed that he’s apparently trying to sell a reefer for $75? I mean, selling marijuana on craigslist is one level of stupid, but does he think anyone would actually pay that much?
Also, I posted this in a previous post (SEAL EVERYTHING) but I’ma repost it for kicks:
MOVING SEAL MUST GO
http://img541.imageshack.us/img541/9379/sealeverything.png
Well, if you buy that much.. I’m sure you’ll have lots of friends to help you get rid of it.
pinipedphillia gone too far
I’m giving Taco a big Hawaiian punch. It must be Taco Tuesday. “Don’t sucking”… again.
200 comments already before 5pm EDT? Woo Hoo.
I made (leftover) steak quesadillas in honor of Taco Tuesday (martine de taco sounds like a beverage)
All the coffee talk this weekend inspired me to make coffee-scented soap. I don’t like using fragrance oils so I infused the oils with fresh ground coffee. Smelled great to begin with but seems to have aquired an odd caramel odor after a few days of curing. I might try again this weekend.
Now that such a thing exists in the world, I find that I need it.
Granted there could be a few accidents with soap ingestion, but I’m sure they would be isolated incidents.
At least that Refer is protable. If it was probench? Well, that would be a deal-crusher for me.
It’s so important thses days to have appliances that share your furniture-based beliefs. I had to leave the wafflemaker when he told me he didn’t believe in :sob: bookshelves.
My antistatic workbench and I get on very well together. Our views on static are shockingly similar.
Well, and you previously alluded to a protablesaw cat . . .
So Heidi Klum is throwing the bum out? Finally!
*Making phone out of hand to ear gesture, mouths “Call me…”
PLEASE someone make a comment. My family is always accusing me of talking amongst myself. For the love of all that is holy, break the pattern!
Anytime! See above. ^
Comment.
Haley’s.
Oh -‘comment’, not ‘comet’. Sorry Archie!
Thank you, all. I was holding my breath and sitting on my hands. No worries, GD. Sparkly things are always welcome.
Did anyone else click on this site a little more today for the cute baby seal at top? I can’t get over it. I want one. And the sugar glider, and the fennec (especially those two with their heads on top of each other’s) and a pony and a baby giraffe and …
*accepts reality*
*pets cat*
Love birds are cute. I have several to unload — I mean, for a small adoption fee, they can be a wonderful asset to your family. And if not quick enough, a decent meal for the cat.
Lovebirds! I didn’t even get to the cute avians! (I want a hummingbird …) If we didn’t live on opposite ends of the country and you had a pair of the peachface ones … I’d be really tempted. Of course, the cat would be, too. And the fact that I’d paid money for them would mean nothing to him.
Well, Taco, I don’t seem to have a whip in my taco box. . . er, uh. Let’s just get this over with. Punchity Punch Punch!
G’Night, Gotham!
OMG I cannot stop laughing at that seal pic!! Oh hai HAHAHAHA!! This blog rules 🙂
How is it that the seal which is moving aced the spelling of “immaculate” and “miscellaneous,” but messed up words like “sale,” “cabinet,” and “screen”?!