YSaC, Vol. 714: My abdomen empire is growing.

2010 July 1

I’ve posted some rather misguided attempts at ottoman before. Sadly, that hasn’t stopped people from coming up with their own new permutations:

Lazy-boy Chair and Abdomen

GREEN ROCKER CHAIR WITH ADEMAN

Leather Couch, Chair and Automin – $300

Chair and autumin – $30

BARCELONA CHAIR & OTTERMAN (VAN DER ROHE) USED ONLY IN A VACANT HOUSE – $500

Real nice Loveseat with matching Chair and Otterman – $150

2 automons for blk leather rockers

2 matching ottomen – $5

I guess I never really thought about it before, but the plural of ottoman would have to be ottomen, wouldn’t it?

Thanks to Megan, Emily, Aleta, Ciera, Eric (for the two ‘otterman’ posts), tworockgirl, and Amy for the submissions!

221 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 July 1
    Windrose permalink

    I once conquered my abdomen empire, but then came the revolution, and it’s way outta control again. 8/

    Adores: 8
    • 2010 July 1
      TacoMagic permalink

      I remember that campaign! The rebels rushed your colonel and caused a major breach in your southern defenses.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 July 1
        Windrose permalink

        Uh, yeah. That’s the one. Ahem.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          Irregular Fractal permalink

          That reminds me, I think I’m coming due for my coloneloscopy.

          Adores: 10
    • 2010 July 1

      I keep losing the battle with my abdomen as well. I blame pie and icecream for being so tasty. It’s all their fault.

      Adores: 9
      • 2010 July 1

        I have the same problem with chocolate biscuits, they’re demons I tell you!

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 July 1
          TacoMagic permalink

          My love of chili peppers and spicy food in general does how one rather significant drawback.

          I went down down down and the flames went higher,
          and it burns burns burns, the ring of fire,
          the ring of fire.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 July 1
          kelli permalink

          Does how one?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          TacoMagic permalink

          How = have.

          I can’t let everyone upstage me today, typos are MY thing.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          Grampdaddy permalink

          TM – does that “ring of fire” have gold on the rim?

          “I found me a golden ring of fire…..”

          That’s “how”.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          Jen permalink

          That’s my football team’s “theme song” and all the players from that side who went to the World Cup got food poisoning. Coinkydink? I think not…

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 July 1
        sarajean80 permalink

        Nutella is my kryptonite. That stuff is made by devils. And the jars are too small.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 July 1
          Jen permalink

          I know! I can barely fit my whole face in there. Once the emergency services start replying to your frantic, muffled phone calls with “Jen? Is it the nutella again?” you know you have a problem…

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 July 3
          Ruffin13 permalink

          psssst, sj: you can get two BIG jars of Nutella in one package at Costco!!!

          Adores: 0
  2. 2010 July 1
    Windrose permalink

    BTW, I was just over at develish1’s web page, and there is voting going on right now at Airlock Alpha for the Portal Awards. We have so many geeks here, I thought it would be fun to invade that space. We can vote once a day. Please vote for David Tennant in the first category in honor of dev!

    http://airlockalpha.com/genre-awards/2010/index.php

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 July 1

      Thanks you Windrose,

      not just for the mention, but for the nudge I needed to get my fingers typing in here again.

      I will try to do better, promise. Erm, When I get back that is. I haven’t voted myself yet today……

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 July 1
        Lola permalink

        Hi, Dev! Had been asking after you. Glad you are back. πŸ™‚

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1

          Thanks Lola,

          not sure I’m back properly yet, I’ve still got “things” to deal with, but I’m certainly visiting, and intend to do it more often from now on.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          Lola permalink

          Good!

          The other person I’m wondering about is Colleen. She bought that smoky mattress, asked for instructions on de-stanking it, and said it was fine and … then a great silence from Massachusetts and no appearances of her beatnik kitty avatar. I hope she wasn’t overcome by the smoke or the remedies … anyone know?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1

          nope, just had a look back though and you’re right, she hasn’t commented since mid May.

          Unlike me she didn’t leave a trial of breadcrumbs (website address) for us to follow in search of her either.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          Bridgete permalink

          Uh oh. That’s about when I started commenting. I hope there’s not some time-space continuum problem in which two people from Massachusetts cannot regularly comment at the same time.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          Nine permalink

          I doubt it.

          You should be ok so long as you don’t touch each other. You didn’t touch her did you?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 July 1
          LurkRealClose permalink

          Eddies! Eddies in the space-time continuum!

          Oh. And this is his otterman, is it?

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 July 1
          Lola permalink

          Otterman and chesterfield sofa, LRC. πŸ˜‰

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1

          +42 A Doors, LRC.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          LurkRealClose permalink

          Thank you, thank you. *bows*

          I was excited for the chance to use one of my most favorite quotes ever. Most days, just thinking about that scene can crack me up.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          Lola permalink

          The thing I love about that scene was the fact that I was just young/uneducated enough that my response would have been more or less the same as Arthur’s, with the possessive punctuation in the print the only giveaway that it wasn’t quite what it sounded/looked like.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          sarajean80 permalink

          So the first thing you do when faced with the wonderously improbable is to go looking for a cup of tea?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 July 1
          Meej permalink

          Bridgete –

          Well, it’d certainly explain why I don’t comment all that often – the Massachusetts Limit. I think we’ve hit upon a new principle!

          I mean, it couldn’t possibly be the new baby (3.5 weeks now!) and the busy schedule, right?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          CapnMac permalink

          Yes, right after one checks that their towel is in order.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 July 1
          Bridgete permalink

          Yes, with Meej’s input, I think there must be a Massachusetts principle. We’ll have to see if Colleen comes back as the bar exam draws near. My comments will start dwindling pretty soon here. In fact, I won’t be here until late tomorrow. I have an all-day practice multiple choice test.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Bridgete – best of luck with the practice exam tomorrow. Just remember that all the answers are (E) – All of the above, or (K) – Naked. πŸ™‚

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 July 2

          So, this is what happens upon late arrival. Let’s see:

          Hi dev! Long time no see. Let it not be that long again.

          Bridgete: Best of luck on the bar. There is a shortage of GOOD attorneys. We are counting on you.

          Meej: Been there, done that. Love the silver hair that comes with.

          Adores: 0
  3. 2010 July 1
    TacoMagic permalink

    Jeez I remember fighting OtterMan Mega Man 15. A real tough cookie unless you beat Sealman first. It’s all knowing the progression of bosses in those games.

    If I rememer correctly it goes:
    WhalerMan > OrcaMan > SealMan > OtterMan > ShellfishMan > AnaphylaxisMan > DoctorMan > BubonicMan

    Adores: 12
    • 2010 July 1
      TacoMagic permalink

      You may insert the word “in” strategically into that first sentence in order to make it more… less nonsensical. This teaches me for posting right before a bathroom run.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 July 1
        Bianchi Sound permalink

        OtterMan is nowhere near as tough as BeaverMan.

        Dam you, BeaverMan!

        Adores: 6
      • 2010 July 1
        Grampdaddy permalink

        OtterMan, OtterMan,
        Does whatever an otter can.
        He is short and he is furry –
        goes through the water in a hurry –
        Look out, look out for the OtterMan.

        OtterMan, OtterMan,
        Likes his dinner out of a can.
        Look out if you’re an anemone,
        Cause he’ll eat you up you see –
        Look out, look out for the OtterMan.

        Adores: 9
    • 2010 July 1

      Oh, a wise guy, huh? Why, I otter…

      Adores: 13
      • 2010 July 1
        TacoMagic permalink

        Nyuk-Nyuk-Nyuk

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 July 1
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          Moe! Larry! Cheese!

          Adores: 4
    • 2010 July 1
      MandaB permalink

      Where do TriangleMan and ParticleMan fit in?

      Adores: 9
      • 2010 July 1
        TacoMagic permalink

        Well, if they get into a fight, Triangle wins. So:

        Universe Man > Triangle Man > Particle Man > Person Man

        Adores: 8
        • 2010 July 1

          Great, but how on Earth do you beat Universe Man to start with?

          (My guess: cheat codes.)

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1

          Ooh! When do you fight Batman?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          And where does SixSidedOctagonMan fit in?

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 July 1
          TacoMagic permalink

          Ok, lets see here:

          SixSidedOctagon Man > Universe Man > Batman > Superman (Order debated) > Triangle Man > Particle Man > String Theory Man > Unified Quantum Theory Man > Person Man

          Adores: 1
  4. 2010 July 1
    Artsy Computer Geek permalink

    Windy — Was that the Ade Man revolution or the Auto Mon (Jamaican) revolution? History was never my best subject.

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 July 1
      Windrose permalink

      Artsy, I think they both happened at the same time. It was a massacre!

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 July 1
      Lola permalink

      I thought that Auto Mon was a robotic household cleaner. I’d like one to go with my Roomba.*

      *Don’t actually own a Roomba, but want one, largely for entertainment value.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 July 1

        I thought that’s all anyone had those for?

        Adores: 0
      • 2010 July 1
        CapnMac permalink

        That, and cat confusion. Note that Roomba, and the knock-offs at BB&B are cheaper than Confuse-A-Cat, Plc., Ltd. or even Amaze-A-Vole, Ltd.

        The thing about the knock-off copies is that they are not quite strong enough to tote around any but the lightest of kittens–which becomes an issue when the kitten grows into a cat and still wants rides.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 July 1

          Cat confusion huh? It would work more as a cat terroriser in my house I think, since mine run away from anything that moves.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          sarajean80 permalink

          With my brood it goes like this;

          :turn vacuum on:

          Simon – runs and hides under bed
          Firefly – attempts to electrocute self by chewing on cord
          Fearless – rolls over and goes back to sleep

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 July 1
        Bridgete permalink

        I haven’t decided if I would be afraid of a Roomba or not. I mean, technically it’s a vacuum. And it’s moving of its own accord. But it’s also small, and I’m not afraid of Dustbusters.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          sarajean80 permalink

          And how loud the thing is, that seems to be a factor as well. Not with Simon though, he got frightened by the bathroon rug* this morning.

          *Really wish I was joking, but he did. Specifically the fringe along one side.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 July 1
          Bridgete permalink

          I just noticed! Bathroon! Everyone’s trampling all over Taco’s territory today! I’d better watch my step.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1

          Yeah, be careful. I’ve seen how Taco marks his territory. You don’t want to get that stuff on you.

          Adores: 1
  5. 2010 July 1
    MandaB permalink

    Early morning sing-along!

    “I say ottoman and you say abdomen,
    I say ottoman and you say ademan,
    Ottoman – automin
    Ottoman – autumin
    Let’s call the whole thing off!”

    “I say dining and you say dinning,
    I say chest of and you say chester,
    Dining – dinning
    Chest of – chester
    Let’s call the whole thing off!”

    Good morning, YSaC!

    Adores: 24
    • 2010 July 1
      Artsy Computer Geek permalink

      Mandy — step away from the remote. Too much time with the TV rots the brain. You should try some nice websites instead. Try http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com instead=)

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 July 1
      TacoMagic permalink

      So Manda… how long have you been holding onto that one? πŸ™‚

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 July 1
        MandaB permalink

        It just came to me in a flash of stupid this morning. I don’t even remember typing it. I read the posting and then I blacked out for a minute. When I came to, there it was! πŸ˜‰

        I blame my 4.5 year old, 3 year old, and 1 year old. And the 2 extra kiddos I’m watching today – 6 months and 2 months old respectively. MandaB’s got a case of the crazy apparently!!!

        Adores: 9
        • 2010 July 1
          TacoMagic permalink

          Holy children farm, Batman! You could harvest a lot of kidneys feed a lot of ducks with that group!

          Adores: 11
        • 2010 July 1
          Lola permalink

          I am loving your phrase “Flash of stupid.” Planning to appropriate it for future use of my own.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 July 1

          Me too. I get those all the time (have you read my blog?) I just never knew what to call them till today.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          Mandy – may the Sanity Gods smile upon you today (they sure aren’t here).

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          MandaB permalink

          Feel free! Flashes of stupid for everyone!

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 July 1
          LurkRealClose permalink

          Oooooooh! Now I’m thinking we need T-shits (or shirts) that say

          “I was flashed by Manda and all I got was stupid”

          Adores: 23
        • 2010 July 1
          kelli permalink

          grumbles,”no one ever flashes me, how will I ever get stupid?”

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 July 1
          MandaB permalink

          LRC, I laughed so hard I have tears running down my face. I definitely want a T-shiRt with that on it!

          Kelli – Here’s a flash just for you!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 July 1
          LurkRealClose permalink

          I don’t know, Manda, a t-shit has some appeal. Maybe something fake, from a novelty store, made into the shape of a T, with writing on it?

          Hmmm. The writing would have to be really small. Or the, uh, “canvass” really big. Perhaps shiRts would be a better option.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          Luckily, the one kind of Flash that Apple still supports is the stupid kind. I can still view craigslist!

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 July 1
      Grampdaddy permalink

      I’m so proud! – Manda gets her song talents from me. I terrorized her for most of her formative years with made up songs, and she used to beg me not to sing anything when she brought a date over – ah, those were the days….

      *sniffles and wipes away a small tear*

      I think she get the “flashing” from her mother – I just don’t know.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 July 1
        LurkRealClose permalink

        I would think you would know about her mother’s flashing, but then, I’m kind of a traditionalist that way.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          Grampdaddy permalink

          There are just some things that aren’t discussed in polite society. Which is why there is YSaC.

          *Aside to Manda: You might wish to reconsider the offer of “Feel free” – at least set out a ‘tip jar’.

          What??

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 July 1
          LurkRealClose permalink

          I think Taco might have a “tip” for you…

          Ewwwwwwwwww!

          Brain Bleach, please. STAT!

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          MandaB permalink

          I’d prefer it if we didn’t speak of Grampmommy flashing Grampdaddy. Pass the brain bleach, please!

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 July 1
        MandaB permalink

        ‘Tis true. Grampdaddy taught (or is that tong?) me everything I know about song parodies. Feel free to blame him. As for me and flashing…I’m not saying a word about any of that.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Grampmommy does not flash Grampdaddy – she’s more of a long-exposure, available light kind of person…

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 July 1
        MandaB permalink

        Annnnnnd I’m gonna be sick…thanks Dad!

        Adores: 1
  6. 2010 July 1
    Camille permalink

    I’ve noticed that people with Lazy-Boy chairs often have impressive abdomens, but I wasn’t aware that they were sold as a set.

    Adores: 8
    • 2010 July 1

      In fact, don’t most La-Z-Boy chairs have a built-in footrest, and therefore need no ottoman?

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 July 1

      Camille, surely you mean “extensive” rather than “impressive”?

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 July 1
        Camille permalink

        develish1 – I was using “impressive” as a euphamism, but yes, “extensive” would do too.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1

          Are you pulling a Taco there, Camille?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 July 1

          doesn’t he do that for himself?

          I mean……..erm………

          *coughs loudly and goes back in to the corner*

          Adores: 12
        • 2010 July 1
          Camille permalink

          Sorry, Isaac, of course I meant euphEmism. Apparently, the power of TacoMagic Spelling Suggestion is strong.

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 July 1

        Personally, I think the better adjective to use for abdomen here is prodigious. It fits both what was meant here, and what was accidentally meant, as it can mean both “sizable”, and “marvelous”.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 July 1
          TacoMagic permalink

          Expansive.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 July 1
          LurkRealClose permalink

          Mine’s expensive, once you add up all those pints of Ben & Jerry’s.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 July 1
          sarajean80 permalink

          “luxurious”

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 July 1
          TacoMagic permalink

          Ewwww.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1

          “Calassy”?

          Adores: 7
  7. 2010 July 1

    Automon is, of course, the Caribbean knockoff to the wildly popular 1983 science-fiction television series starring Desi Arnaz, Jr. and the animated mote “Cursor.”

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 July 1
      Bianchi Sound permalink

      Don’t try and fool me wikipedia. I know TRON when I see it!

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 July 1
        TacoMagic permalink

        Stop eyeing up my baby! He hasn’t gotten enough weight on him to be considered food yet.

        Wait, what?

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 July 1
          sarajean80 permalink

          Slightly off topic, but did you know they are coming out with a new TRON?

          http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1104001/

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          TacoMagic permalink

          Yes I did! I’ve already told my wife we’re going to the opening night.

          Not. Optional.

          The fact that Bruce Boxleitner is returning as Tron gives me fanboy glee.

          I might have squeed a little.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          CapnMac permalink

          Saw this today, which might also cause squee:

          [quote]Of the reviews I’ve seen, The Onion’s AV Club’s is the best:

          Where to start with this one? How about this: If any movie ever warranted a class-action lawsuit against the filmmakers, it’s The Last Airbender. [/quote]

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Mrs. Taco is producing another Tron? TM, you devil!

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1

          Oh, my Dad saw that when the family went to see Toy Story 3.

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 July 1
      Moira permalink

      I LOVED that show. I bet it actually sucked. And Manimal… I knew that one sucked at the time but I want to see it again anyway.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 July 1
        Lola permalink

        Just the title “Manimal” on its own is a suckage tipoff.

        Adores: 0
  8. 2010 July 1

    I don’t get how the second to the last one is ever going to work out. Rick James died a long time ago, and I don’t see Prince buying any automons right now.

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 July 1

      I see how you misread that, jg, but the ad is clearly looking for folks more like Meatloaf: bulk leather rockers. And I believe there are plenty of those.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 July 1
        Lola permalink

        Like Screaming Trees or BTO? I don’t know how much leather they actually wear, but bulk seems to come into it …

        Adores: 0
  9. 2010 July 1

    … and AdeMan is, of course, the sidekick to the superhero Green Rocket (not Rocker, as Sparky has typed itβ€”oh, why can’t these Craigslist Sparkies correct their typos?).

    During superhero battles, especially on hot summer days, AdeMan distributes refreshing fruit-based beverages to the beleaguered combatants.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 July 1
      TacoMagic permalink

      *Crash*
      OH YEAH!

      Adores: 9
    • 2010 July 1
      Artsy Computer Geek permalink

      Isaac — I think Sparky is in a different virtual world/reality than some of us.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 July 1

        Fortunately, TacoMagic permeates all realities.

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 July 1

          That’s a frightening thought.

          Me myself, I like to split my time between the Real World and one of the DC Universes.

          Also, Civilization IV. Later I’m going to play a game a MehMeh I of the Abdomen Empire. (Disguised, of course, as Mehmed II of the Ottoman Empire)

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 July 1

          *as MehMeh I

          Adores: 0
  10. 2010 July 1
    TacoMagic permalink

    Do as you otterman,
    Add acidman to waterman.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 July 1

      This sounds especially counter-cultural to me, because Waterman is the name of the building that houses the President’s Office and the rest of the administration here on campus.

      Like, wow, man.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 July 1
        TacoMagic permalink

        Don’t you mean “wowman”?

        Adores: 0
  11. 2010 July 1
    sarajean80 permalink

    “BARCELONA CHAIR & OTTERMAN (VAN DER ROHE) USED ONLY IN A VACANT HOUSE – $500

    Umm… Wouldn’t a vacant house, by virtue of being vacant have a decided lack of furniture and/or people, regardless of if they were from Spain or resembled a semi-aquatic mannal?

    Adores: 9
    • 2010 July 1
      TacoMagic permalink

      Thus the vacancy paradox begins.

      Can you use something in a vacant house. Can a house be vacant if you use something in it? I feel an iff statement coming on.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 July 1
        Nine permalink

        Not another paradox!

        I’ve had quite enough of reapers for one lifetime thank you very much.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 July 1
          LurkRealClose permalink

          NINE! *hearts*

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          Nine is four and four is cosmic

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 July 1

          I am he as you are he and you are me and we are all together?

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 July 1

          I’d forgotten how surreal it gets in here sometimes. God I’ve missed this! lol

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          Astro — aren’t you suppose to be the Eggman now?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1

          I was thinking “walrus” myself

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1

          Or possibly valtrus-suka.

          Lacawhates?

          Adores: 4
      • 2010 July 1

        Clearly, they mean it was sat in by ghosts.

        Adores: 1
      • 2010 July 1
        Irregular Fractal permalink

        Vacancy Paradox is the name of my Vertical Horizon cover band.

        Adores: 7
    • 2010 July 1

      that one was puzzling me too sarajean, in fact I need more coffee now.

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 July 1
      sarajean80 permalink

      Dammit, that should say “mammal”. Stupid red bar.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 July 1
        TacoMagic permalink

        SJ, don’t work my side of the street.

        Adores: 4
    • 2010 July 1
      Innana permalink

      Maybe SJ means “Manimal”.
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manimal

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 July 1
        TacoMagic permalink

        Why did they cancel Manimal, WHY!

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1

          Same reason they canceled Automan: the show’s writers were starting to get too close to The Truth.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 July 1

          Isaac, are you, by any chance, in the market for a tin-foil hat?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          Moira permalink

          And after only 8 episodes. Somehow it seemed longer than that.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1

          No thanky. Got my own already.

          Trust No Tinfoil Hat Made by Someone Else. That’s my motto.

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 July 2

          Is that truly your motto, man?

          Adores: 3
    • 2010 July 1
      CapnMac permalink

      Well, they did not say “unoccupied” only that it was vacant.

      Or, perhaps it is a speeling missteak and should be read as “vagrant”

      Dang it, this is supposed to be up under TM’s “iff statement” post.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 July 1
        sarajean80 permalink

        A Spanish vagrant otterman for $500 seems a bit pricey. Anything in a domestic ocelotman, preferably housetrained?

        Adores: 7
        • 2010 July 1
          CapnMac permalink

          If you send me $500, I will perform the rites and incantations needed to prevent infestations of Not.A.Lions in you ottom.

          Note that prevention of other feline plagues, there may be additional costs.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          sarajean80 permalink

          :Checks wallet:

          I have … twelve dollars and twenty three cents. What will that get me?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          CapnMac permalink

          Uh [ciphering in head] a shaken iced tea and a cardboard pastry at s’bucks, and you’ll likely have to bum a quarter for the meter.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          LurkRealClose permalink

          See, at DD, that would get you a large iced latte and some sort of donut-type item. Jus’ Sayin’

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          TacoMagic permalink

          In my kitchen that would get you dinner, a glass of wine, and a fruit dessert.

          Granted, we aren’t open to the public yet.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 July 1
          CapnMac permalink

          Sounds like my kitchen; freezer has steaks (gifts from my middle sister) but, sides? Not so much.

          Mind, if I don;t some up with $4-500 here some pronto, might become a moot point.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          Bridgete permalink

          Cap’n, is you ottom anywhere near Spare Oom?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 July 1
          CapnMac permalink

          Too dang close to Barsoom for my taste.

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 July 1

      I think Sparky meant “unoccupied”β€”like a model house, or the “show model” in a condo complex.

      Of course, not every model house is untenanted, but if the ottoman starts falling apart, there’s always money in the banana stand.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 July 1
        CapnMac permalink

        If so, sparky has not seen the folk who loiter in “model” and “demonstration” homes–which ought to be required RE disclosures . . .

        Adores: 0
    • 2010 July 1
      LurkRealClose permalink

      The vacant house paradox really bothered me, as well.

      I was thinking perhaps Sparky broke into a vacant house, with his “BARCELONA CHAIR & OTTERMAN (VAN DER ROHE)”, whenever he wanted to sit down.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 July 1
        Moira permalink

        I didn’t find it so much a paradox as a sadness. I envision a house that everyone has moved out of and taken all the stuff they wanted. The sad, lonely otterman has been left behind, like a ghost, haunting the otherwise empty rooms.

        (Why is “If You Could Read My Mind” now running through my head?)

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 July 1
          Jen permalink

          Maybe I’ve been watching too much terrible melodrama lately (thank you, flatmates) but I read it as a house where the people may still be there, but the _love_ has left.
          “Vacant” in this case therefore refers to the emotional void left behind by the memory of those we have loved and lost, or those who we were never able to truly bring into our world in the first place, because they managed to work the ropes loose and escape through the little window we always knew we should probably board up, but it would look suspicious, and Mrs Jenkins is SO nosy and.. wait, what?

          Adores: 5
  12. 2010 July 1
    Gail permalink

    I think “otterman” sounds like it has the potential to be an awesome Not.A.Lion.esque drawing.

    Adores: 1
  13. 2010 July 1
    Dan permalink

    “Otto. There’s one palindrome you won’t be hearing again for a while.” – Principal Skinner

    Adores: 10
    • 2010 July 1
      TacoMagic permalink

      “Alcohol increases your ability to drive.”
      *checks the answer*
      “Aw man!”

      Adores: 0
  14. 2010 July 1
    TacoMagic permalink

    Ottoman
    Plural: Ottomen
    Durational Present: Ottomanning
    Past: Ottomanned
    Durational past: I was Ottomanning
    Future: I shall Ottoman
    Durational future: I will be Ottomanning

    Plural Perfected Durational Aspects in Future:
    I shall have been going to Ottomenned.

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 July 1
      MandaB permalink

      Ottomangle: verb – to incorrectly spell words related to furniture.

      “She listed her French Preventional dining set on Craigslist as a dinning set. She totally ottermangled it!”

      Adores: 21
      • 2010 July 1

        I think you just created a new meme Manda πŸ™‚

        Adores: 0
      • 2010 July 1

        I *love* this. May I make it into a tag?

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 July 1
          MandaB permalink

          drmk, I would be honored!

          Plus I figure it’s your blog so you can do whatever you want. πŸ™‚ Someone once told me, “Never say no to the llama-nun!”

          Adores: 5
      • 2010 July 1
        TacoMagic permalink

        So, does that mean these posters speak in Ottomanglish?

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 July 1
          MandaB permalink

          Silly Taco, posters don’t speak. Not even over 40 boy band posters.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 July 1
          LurkRealClose permalink

          You have over 40 boy band posters? I bet you could get some serious cash for them on Craigs List.

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 July 1

      In Canada and the U.K., the past tense of ottoman is ottomeant.

      Adores: 5
    • 2010 July 1

      And where does Ottomong fit in?

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 July 1
        TacoMagic permalink

        I think that’s the past participle form when used as a adjective:

        He had an ottomongen car.

        Adores: 0
    • 2010 July 1

      Otomen– a japanese comic about a very unmanly man who likes to sew.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 July 1
        CapnMac permalink

        oto-men can be read as “younger brother + mask” but, “sound of raw cotton” has a much more hikikomori sense to it.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          CapnMac permalink

          hideki-san emails me to say that otomen can really be read as “noodles for younger brother” or as in the sense of being ramen, the sort of thing hikikomori tend to eat.

          “Younger brother” also being able to be read as “immature bother” in this sense, too.

          Adores: 0
  15. 2010 July 1
    CapnMac permalink

    Count me as happy to have gotten to the bottom of the list and then perceived it to be a compendium, and not the single listing I had feared.

    Adores: 0
  16. 2010 July 1

    Otterman, Otterman,
    Does whatever an Otterman does.
    Can he swim within a pond?
    Yes he can, ’cause he’s Otterman!

    Adores: 11
    • 2010 July 1
      Moira permalink

      <3
      But your gravatar keeps morphing and it is confuzzling me.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 July 1

        It’s what happens when one registers more than one e-mail address at Gravatar.com. It allows me to change it to suit the mood without changing it for all my posts. The Otter gravatar above is an image of the original Astrognash I spoke of the other day, that was created for a fansite of the Redwall series.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1

          I was going to bring up Redwall! Yes, there was an otterman in that πŸ™‚

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          TacoMagic permalink

          (otter)Man, it’s been forever since I read the Redwall books. Did Jacques ever finish writing them, or is he still pumping them out like they’re forgotten realms editions?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1

          They’re still coming out at the rate of roughly one per year. The latest one, The Sable Quean[sic*], is actually the best one in a good while. I see a correlation between this and the fact that he took an extra year to write it.

          *It’s a pun. Quean, which is pronounced the same as “Queen”, is also, apparently, an old word that means a wicked woman.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          Jen permalink

          One thing I learnt from studying Chaucer – if it starts with a “qu” it is 99% likely to be a Naughty Word and therefore to be written down immediately for further study.

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 July 1

        Same here, I have multiple addresses registered too. Although sometimes I get confused and post here the wrong one and my comments don’t match with my pic

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          sarajean80 permalink

          If you are very sneaky, you can use different usernames with different Gravatars. Then you have to keep them straight, which can be hard sometimes.

          Not that I actually do that. But you could.

          What?

          Stop staring at me!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 July 1

          but I already do that sarajean, I thought you knew.

          You’re not going to force me to own up to all my alter-egos now are you?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          sarajean80 permalink

          Not if you don’t make me.

          I have no idea what you are talking about. πŸ˜‰

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1

          In that case, neither do I.

          I’m glad we got that settled.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1

          Same here.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 July 1
          Nine permalink

          The thing is though Dr. it doesn’t work so well if you still use the same website address with a different name and avatar.

          That sort of gives the game away.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1

          Blast! Foiled Again!

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 July 2

          I gave you a door for that. Best.URL.Ever.

          Adores: 0
  17. 2010 July 1
    Ladycrim permalink

    Down in the bay, look! It’s a Fish! It’s a Crane! No, it’s OTTERMAN! Faster than a speeding current! More adorable than a flock of penguins! Able to break open crabs balanced on his stomach with a single rock! Fighting for truth, justice, and correct spelling!

    Adores: 10
    • 2010 July 1
      LurkRealClose permalink

      Now we just need someone to draw this!

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 July 1

      Dude, have you guys seen that scene in the “Fresh Water” episode of Planet Earth where the clan of otters faces down a six-foot-long crocodile and frightens it off? Indian otters are badass.

      Adores: 1
  18. 2010 July 1
    Jinx permalink

    I have to wave my arms about to play my theremin, because it doesn’t have an automin setting….

    Adores: 8
  19. 2010 July 1

    *Used only in a vacant house*

    Cracked my shit up!

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 July 1
      sarajean80 permalink

      What kind of brace do you have to wear for that?

      Adores: 13
      • 2010 July 1

        +elebenty brazillian doors, sarajean.

        Adores: 0
      • 2010 July 1

        +Elebenty Brazilian Doors, Sj.

        Adores: 0
      • 2010 July 1
        MandaB permalink

        A Greek one.

        What?

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 July 1
          sarajean80 permalink

          But is gold rimmed?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          MandaB permalink

          But is or butt is, SJ?

          πŸ˜€

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 1
          sarajean80 permalink

          Yes.

          Adores: 3
  20. 2010 July 1
    Innana permalink

    Nobody’s said anything about this, but could “Barcelona” possibly be a sparky-term for “Barcalounger”?

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 July 1

      Good thinking, Innana, [corey] but there is a Barcelona chair designed by the architect Ludwig Mies van der Rohe [/corey], whose name Sparky amazingly managed to spell correctly, while simultaneously ottermangling ottoman.

      Adores: 5
    • 2010 July 1
      Lola permalink

      Actually, surprisingly, I don’t think so. [design corey] Barcelona chairs
      http://www.uncrate.com/men/images/barcelona-chair.jpg
      were designed by Mies van der Rohe [/design corey], so that part is correct.
      Yet again we encounter the CL paradox of posters getting the seemingly more-difficult/obscure parts of the posting correct, but committing a variety of speeling FAILs on the word that you’d think they’d be more likely to spell correctly.

      Edit: Dang, jg! Jinx!

      Adores: 3
    • 2010 July 1
      Innana permalink

      Ah, well. I feel as if I’m playing Wheel of Fortune with a demented
      and inconsistent cluemaster. Thanks for the Coreys.

      Adores: 0
  21. 2010 July 1

    Slightly OT, but relevant to the topic from Tuesday:

    Titanic 2 (film) – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 July 1

      Since when did we start staying ON topic in here?

      Anyway, I’m done for the day, will try to drop in tomorrow for a while though, night all.

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 July 1
      Bridgete permalink

      Well, as long as we’re going OT and talking about past posts…last night, as I was drifting off to sleep, I thought of the perfect fright for Sparky #1 from yesterday. A fear demon! Although, perhaps we should just invoke the fear demon in his cargo van, since, according to the Buffy Episode he appears in, he’s only 3 inches tall.

      Adores: 1
  22. 2010 July 1
    queensbee permalink

    well, the automons are obviously and automatically from Jamaica, mon.

    Adores: 1
  23. 2010 July 1
    abwh permalink

    *revealing himself from a strategic lurkish postion*
    …there has yet been mention of the thesaural hassock, pouffe or tuffet…
    I’m just sayin’…

    Adores: 1
  24. 2010 July 1
    Windrose permalink

    Julia’s in the box! Way to go, Julia! *psst! Who the heck is Julia?*

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 July 1
      Bridgete permalink

      I’m going to guess a lurker who came out of hiding for one great comment. And I hope we’ll see more of her.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 July 2
        Windrose permalink

        Well then, Julia! Here it come. Punchity Punch Punch!

        G’Night, Massachusetts!

        Adores: 0
      • 2010 July 2

        Seriously, I want a database/list of the durn boxes. I can’t get here everyday, my overlords are in preschool and demand attention all.the.time. Seriously.

        Edited to add that I’m going to find a grumpy-face to add to another Gravatar account because all that smiling DOES NOT MATCH MY MOOD.

        You think it’s cuz my coffee is half-caf and, well, because last night I got proof that I’m not pregnant? (Trying to be delicate about Aunt Flo arriving for the poor gentlemen that might faint at the idea.)

        Not that anyone is going to read this because it’s on yesterday’s post. And the timer telling me how much longer I have to type is really making me madder. Grr.

        Adores: 0
  25. 2010 July 5
    Dan permalink

    BARCELONA CHAIR & OTTERMAN

    The famous superhero team, of course. Barcelona Chair and his sidekick Otterman.

    Oh please, somebody, draw them for me!

    Adores: 0
  26. 2010 November 9
    WriterBoi permalink

    Automon, I choose you!

    Adores: 1
  27. 2011 March 30
    Vetobevaror permalink

    The best way to Acquire a good Seasonal Bag

    Seasonal bags are quite popular at a season’s turn. It is a great fun to purchase seasonal purses. The next guidelines will benefit you to find the fashion in them.

    Initially Louis Vuitton Spontini, opt for a right style or design. In the summer, you may need a large purse to carry all your beach

    gear. In the fall, you could possibly desire

    a thing which has a strap to sling over shoulders for a quick get away. As in winter scores of people

    commonly desire to attend parties, fabulous clutches are must-have handbags for females. Nonetheless, in spring, just about any the style or

    design, it can be suitable.

    The 2nd thing is about discovering out suited cloth. Pure cotton, canvas, or vinyl are

    particularly classic for summertime bags. They are especially long lasting. As in spring, gentle and durable material is the best option. It’s cozy to

    carry in bright days.

    What’s more, you need to consider the design while choosing seasonal handbags. Solid colours will are proper for every single season of a year. On the other hand scores of motifs are unique to seasons. A purse with splendid forest scene and snow town designs usually adds the winter appeal.

    Another choice for winter is basic, geometric pattern. Fall is really a time for complicated, tapestry-like patterns or leaf

    designs. Cheerful flowers and contemporary motifs are good for spring time whereas tropical

    flowers and abstract patterns can put fun to summertime purses.

    The very last significant point is tone. Each season possesses its specialized and wonderful colours. In winter, dark

    colors are great. White handbags with darkish trim are also quite terrific. Furthermore, dark jewel colors are great choices in winter. You can go for purple,

    ruby or emerald purses to get the spotlight. Nevertheless, in spring, it is recommended to go for light colours to be rejuvenating. In summer, sunshine yellow, robin’s egg blue or hot pink are unusual colours. Orange purses are great for autumn outings. I0P0331U

    Adores: 0
    • 2011 March 30

      Spam spam spam spam spam spam spam

      SPAMMITY-SPAM!
      WONDERFUL SPAM!

      Adores: 0
      • 2011 March 30

        Spam, spam, spam, spam, eggs, and spam.

        Adores: 0
        • 2011 March 30
          Astrognash permalink

          WOW!

          That’s a low price! spambot!

          Adores: 0

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. Tweets that mention YSaC, Vol. 714: My abdomen empire is growing. | You Suck at Craigslist -- Topsy.com

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.