YSaC, Vol. 720: Dislike.
Someone to take pictures of me deplaning my jet
I am looking for somebody that can take pictures of me deplaning my Gulfstream G550 when I arrive into the Gallatin Valley Airport this
Saturday. What I am looking for specifically are candid shots of me walking down the airstair that can be used for my new Facebook
picture.I will pay $10 for each picture I want and consider repeat business dependent on how many positive Facebook comments and “likes” I
receive.We will not be friends on Facebook.
I’m wondering … what kind of asschapeau will purchase (or rent) a Gulfstream, but isn’t willing to hire a professional photographer to capture his monumental deplaning? Also — is it wrong that I’m hoping this guy takes a nosedive down the stairs, and that this is all caught on film for posterity?
Boy, I’m really glad that I’m not the type of person whose entire self-image is wrapped up in how many “likes” I have on facebook or how many twitter followers I have.
Nope. Not at all. I mean, I wouldn’t, say, post links to either page in a transparent attempt to get people to like/subscribe, because that would just be shallow.
Thanks, Abby!
What a dummy. Everyone knows the Gulfstream G550 is SOOOOO last year.
If he really wanted to impress people, he would get his picture taken getting out of a Prius… or better yet, off a bicycle.
sadly, Gulfstreams are so last year, to be a true asschapeau you have to rent a challenger
As someone who was a school child in New Hampshire in 1986, I have to say that the idea of renting the Challenger is a little disturbing.
not the Challenger (ie NASA), Challenger jets are the next level of private jets, there is also the option of a Global Express.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canadair_Challenger
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Global_Express
As somebody who’s moonlighted as a photographer in my youth it’s nice that this guy is willing to pay me for the pictures that he wants rather than for my time. Granted I do like taking photographs and I should be thankful that he’s giving me the opportunity to get the practice I’ll need to become a professional.
Then again, it’s not as though I could just take a picture of anything, right?
On an unrelated note: I need somebody to build me a website. I’ll pay you $50 for every page you make that I like and decide to use. Repeat business will be determined by how many hits the site gets. The site will be http://www.comcast.monkeypants.ampersandland.jp.com. It will be devoted to flagging craigslist posts of the buyer’s competition.
He’s giving you the opportunity to stand near him. You’ll get to glimpse the world of the disgustingly wealthy from UP CLOSE! You’ll almost be able to smell the lobster bisque with black truffle foam over the reek of your unbearable middle class stench.
I hope someone gets a shot of him picking his nose.
It’s just as easy to be rich you know! If you weren’t so in love with being middle class you could be somebody Meredith.
Hmmm, Taco, are you trying to sell me your secrets to being wealthy? I think I saw your commercial on tv in the wee hours of the morning.
And that’s LOWER middle class to you! Don’t try to put me up on a pedestal!
Exactly. It’s so easy to be rich I’m selling the secrets out of my van!
The one parked down by the river that has “FREE CANDY” painted on the side?
Ah, you’ve seen my van! A thing of beauty ain’t she! Someday, SJ, when you’re rich you’ll be able to afford a marvelous piece of machinery like that!
It’s always been a dream of mine.
I usually wake up screaming for some reason, though.
Oh! Oh! Sometimes I pick my nose, can I be a rich asschapeau?
So when they call it “mining for gold” they mean that there’s real gold up there?!?
That last cold I had could have made me a millionaire!
If you were *really* rich you’d have someone to pick your nose for you.
You can rent one use of these from things like NetJets, which I’m betting is what he’s doing (even though he calls it “my” plane) if he’s a cheap enough asssombrero that he won’t pay for a fotog; my guess, however, is that he is not an owner or renter of a plane, and he won a trip/someone lost a bet to him/etc. and would otherwise never be near a private plane, and wants the photos so that he comes off looking far wealthier than he actually is.
Crap! Meredith got to this (below) before I did. Still, I think that proves the likelihood of the point.
He’s probably the guy who vacuums the carpet after they land.
I’d rather be rich and everybody think I was a pauper. Less chance of getting robbed. LOL
Come on everyone, sing it with me now:
You don’t have to be rich to fly my plane,
You don’t have to be frieds with my facebook page.
I aint particular about the camera you use,
I just want to waste your time and your…PIC!
You gotta not want money, baby,
If you wanna photograph me.
You can’t be too candid, baby,
I know how to get “likes” for me.
I wanna be your repeat customer,
And maybe you can get paid,
You just leave it all up to me,
Cause you can’t see my Facebook.
(repeat Chorus)
many, many a doors to you christina and meej
(too many to list)
Hey, I mooned a photographer in my youth too!
Oh, wait, moonlighted? Hmm… well, I think the flash went off, does that count as lighted?
Oh c’mon Meej we know Uranus is too far from the sun to get much light.
Yeah, that’s why you have to flash someone for them to see the places where the sun don’t shine.
Careful with those flashes meej, they make you stupid.
That would explain it!
Possible explanation, and only one I can think of that makes any sense:
Guy somehow wrangled a ride on someone ELSE’S plane, and would now like to pass it off as their own, in a desperate, outdated attempt to impress women (Seriously, “I have a private plane” was used when my GRANDMA was a young woman).
I have known a few individuals with serious money, and I have to believe that not a single one would use Facebook as a means to brag about their wealth. Seriously, doesn’t anyone feel that really rich people probably have their own websites to trade pictures of their private planes?
(Hi Meredith! :waves: )
With the advent of PhotoShop and Gimp, I don’t trust a photo of anything unless I took it or know who did.
That said, anyone who wants me to come over and take a picture of them sitting in their chair built of solid gold bricks, I’m available on Friday. I promise not to steal more than one or two. Dozen.
Can I come, cause I’m a master of holding equipment. I’ll only require one brick as a “carrier’s fee”.
HI BACK! I was off work for about days, and I try to sort of detox when I am home. I’ll check my Facebook, but I save a lot of other stuff for when I get back, so I have stuff to read at work.
I really should not forget YSaC, though. Just wasn’t feeling so snarky last week. but I got a shot of SNARKOREX and it fixed me right up.
Seconding Meredith. My mom’s hung out with enough rich folks that I’ve developed the opinion that any that *would* actually brag on Facebook would also want the bragging rights of a professional photographer following them around to document oodles of other stuff that people talk about on FB (saw the cutest dog… OMG, just got my hair done… I want cheese… why does this taco look funny).
My mommy said I look unique and I should ignore all the mean people who call me funny looking!
*Puts fingers in eyes* Lalalala can’t read you…. OOW! WHY DO I HAVE MY FINGERS IN MY EYES! ARRRGGGGGDDDDBBBBLLLEEE!
Doesn’t Jerry Lewis do a Tacothon for you?
“Tacothon” in one mentally added “g” away from a horrible mental image.
Just thought I would share that.
yeah, erm, thanks for that sj, now we’re all picturing it
ok, who’s got the mind bleach? anyone?
I didn’t want to suffer alone.
well you’re certainly not now.
I’m going to have to go and spend at least an hour looking through my image folders now to get rid of that. Mind you, considering the contents of some of my images folder…….
later everyone
*runs*
Don’t spend all day in that one marked “David Tennant-Nekkid”.
strangely enough, I don’t have one titled that, although I do have one simply titled Thud which does contain some, erm, interesting images…..
*Dances around in his TacoThong smearing toppings all over himself*
Anyone want any sour cream?
(I appologize to everyone, everywhere for that)
bleach!! BLEACH NOW!!
Nooooooooo!!!!!!!!
*runs screaming from the room*
Praise Clothespin Jeebus… at least Taco edited it from his *original* post. That shut my brain down temporarily.
Well, there’s only one thing to do…
:fetches rusty spoon and removes eyes:
AHHH! IT DIDN’T WORK!
MAKE
IT
STOP!!!
Yeah, I realized I actually liked that hotsauce sensation.
Ok, now I need the brain bleach too.
I’m just glad I missed the un-edited version
the edited one was bad enough.
Aaaand more evidence that Taco just invested in some stock in Brain Bleach© (AGH). And yet, I’m morbidly curious as to the original comment…
Normally, I love this website, but it’s times like this that make me wonder about the sanity of my peers. Oh well, life’s more fun when you’re crazy. And covered in salsa.
What?
…I will pay $10 for each picture I want…
So if you don’t want this one I took of you taking a Gerald Ford down the airstairs, does that mean I can keep it and use it for this new Facebook page I’m starting called “Sparky is a Pretentious Asshat”?
Hey! I have an uncle named the same thing!
I bet he gets some weird junk mail.
Hello, Mr. “Sparky is a Pretentious Asshat”!!! You may already be a winner!!!
For the last time, it’s pronounced uhz-SHAIT. It’s a perfectly normal name.
Let me guess – fifteenth century French Huguenot?
Seventh century French Prudential I’m thinking.
Oh, so it’s similar to Hyacinth Bucket (boo-KAY)?
You mean it’s not “As SHA” or is that the Phlemish pervential pronunciation?
Mind you
“Pretentious Has Hats”
Would be a band name, with the fillip of embarrassing about half the fans (and not needing asterisks when printed on the Billboard charts–that it helped Nortorious Disques become famous).
They could open for Men Without Hats.
That’s nothin’ Taco…my uncle’s name is a different thing.
I have an uncle named Fred.
I have an uncle named Cornelius. We call him Gene.
I have an uncle named Dad*
*This may not be true
Yet oddly, that explains so much
Can family reunions must be kinda awkward. And small.
Maybe he wants to add this to his line of “catalog pose” profile pictures. Already used: “man looking at watch”, “man pointing to someone out of frame”, “man rough housing with other man”, and that seasonal favorite “man off balance while making a snowball”.
If that’s the case, wouldn’t it be cheaper to photoshop himself into the Land’s End catalog, rather than buy a plane?
What?!?! Photoshop? And miss out on the chance to be an obnoxious, pretentious douchebag? I think not!
What about “Woman in underpants surprised that she has breasts?” That one never gets old.
You mean the, “What are these strange bulbous items on my chest, and why do I feel the irrepressible urge to grope them?” shot???
I call that the “My nipples are falling off!” pose.
“OH GOD, IF I DON’T HOLD ON TO MY BREASTS, THE EVIL THEY POSSESS WILL BE UNLEASHED ON THE UNSUSPECTING WORLD!!!”
Oh, but this bra is remarkably supportive.
They do seem surprised, don’t they? “Holy Innana’s knees! I don’t know where these came from but they’re fabulous!”
I also enjoy the, “Oh you caught me posing in my underpants, I’m so naughty!” smile/laughing face you see occasionally in the middle class (GASP) ads.
I wish I had that much fun in MY underpants. But usually it’s just eating chicken from a bucket while watching Duck Tales… uh… just forget I mentioned that.
But TM my dear, you should know by now, we never forget anything said in here.
In fact, you probably just earned a spot in the box again *chuckle*
The recently-discarded-corpse-of-a-heroin-addict-in-semi-formal-wear seems to be making a comeback in some of the magazines I’ve browsed through in the break room.
I noticed most of the models these days are very VERY thin (not a curve in sight) and have creepily long necks. I await the day when this trend takes its course and fashion magazines feature nothing but giraffes in dresses.
At the local Discount Liquor Mart (actual name) there is a cardboard cutout of a model holding beer that has been *ahem* altered to fit this particular ideal.
Problem is, they hired a monkey to do the photoshopping. Her neck is slightly too long, her head is more than slightly too big, and her overlarge eyes aren’t quite pointing in the same directions. It’s the creepiest damn cutout I’ve ever seen. We call it “Freaky Balloon Head”. I think the store leaves it up just to chase away those of weak constitution.
One of these days I’m gonna put a sign on her that says, “Drink until she looks right.” *Shudders*
Taco, “Discount Liquor Mart” is still a classier name than my neighborhood’s “Wine Factory.” I love the Bronx. The irony is that it’s actually got quality stuff that you wouldn’t expect due to the name.
No cutouts.
My town takes the cake… we have a place that sells lottery tickets and cigarettes named “Butts and Bets” ahhhhh, class.
I blame Botticelli, the neck of his famous Aphrodite is anatomically impossible but was (and still is) consided a model of feminine beauty.
I like the “high class” ads.
“These breasts cause me nothing but misery and heartache. Damn you, vile breasticles!”
Did someone say breasts??
*Pours more coffee and hides it from Lola*
Meredith, nice avatar! *Stalkity stalk stalk*
Good Morning, Happy Wednesday, and you ladies (and Taco) are making me laugh muchly this morning! 8) I’m at the “I used to have breasts around here somewhere. HEY, what are they doing way down there?” stage.
*Pours a shot of brain bleach and splashes it into his eyes*
THE MENTAL PICTURE IS STILL THERE!
Brain Bleach Label:
Hmmm…
Too bad you’re jailbait, Astro, ’cause I’m throwing heap-big adores at you.
SJ’s never been the same since those Cougar Life adds showed up.
You have to get ’em young to have time to train them properly.
Oi, but the work, SJ, the WORK! My next husband is going to be older than me & pre-trained, by a previous wife I assume.
Wow, when you think of it just right it’s serial polygamy. Thanks in advance, sisters!
Yeah, I got mine recycled and pre-trained, and it’s worked out great for me.
Very eco-friendly of you, LRC!
I’ve been pre-trained twice!*
*This may be true
I’m particularly sad that “We will not be friends on Facebook.” I live to friend random, cheapskate, asschapeaux on Facebook. 🙁
That made me sad, too.
Here’s a picture of a happy llama to cheer everyone up.
Or maybe an amused llama is more your thing?
Made my day, Taco!
How does he know we won’t be friends? If he is out to attract randome women, all I have to do is create a profile using my niece’s sexy bathing suit photo, pretend to be 18 years old and send him a request saying how much I admire men who have their own jets! You know, being blond and all I must be pretty dumb.
Windy: It’s in the ad. He clearly states that we will not be friends on Facebook. And if it’s on Craigslist, it must be true.*
*This may not actually be true.
On the positive side, since he won’t be your friend, think of how much fun you can have with your status update making fun of the idiot that hired you to take pictures of him getting off a plane.
And since he won’t be your friend, he won’t see it. Win-win! (Except for the time spent in his company.)
That’s where Twitter comes in.
Asshat – “Can we get this done already?”
Craigslist Photographer – :Tweets “OMG, he’s such an idiot!”: ” I’m texting. It’s very important or I would stop.”
I, too, was thinking it’d be amusing to take the “job” just to get the Gerald Ford or nosepicking shot so I could post those on an FB asshat fan page.
(Love the Dr. Horrible reference, SJ.)
Yay, somebody got it!♥!
Does this sound like an “I Love Lucy” episode to anyone else?
LUCY: Oh, Ethel, what am I going to do? I told Mildred, my cousin from out of town, that Ricky owned his own plane. Now she wants to friend me on Facebook and says she can’t wait to see pictures of his Gulfstream! She’s the biggest gossip in the family; I have to convince her!
ETHEL: Well, Lucy, even you can’t find a way out of this one!
(Phone rings)
LUCY: Ricardo residence… yes? yes? Uh-huh. Oh, of course, Mr. Ricardo will love to accept. By the way, he has to have his secretary and photographer along, too… Fine. Thank you!
ETHEL: (suspiciously) Lucy, what have you done?
LUCY: It’s all set; the head of NBC wants to invite Ricky to fly with him to Gallatin Valley tomorrow so they can have an all Babalu entertainment trip for the executives. I can be his secretary, and we’ll snap a picture of Ricky alighting from him Gulfstream with me. I’ll upload it to Facebook, and as long as no one on the plane knows I’m pretending it’s mine, we’ll be fine! I’ll get Mrs. Trimble to babysit for the day.
ETHEL: Well don’t look at me to work the camera! Fred has his monthly head waxing tomorrow and I have to be with him. You’re on your own here.
LUCY: Waaaaah—-ait! I can get one on Craigslist! It can’t fail!
YES!! Elebnety brazillian dooors for you, Innana!
Plus elebenty one!!
Grand slam, Innana! Allow me to add many more a doors to your growing collection.
Brazilian Dooors made me think of Jim Morrison waxing places I really don’t care to think about with respect to Jim Morrison.
That’s as unwholesome as thinking about Ron Jeremy shaving his naughty bits in the shower.
I hate both of you for making me picture that.
:puts pan of Brain Bleach © on the stove:
Oh, TacoMagic, why did you have to go and do that?
Please pass the brain bleach.
Wait, can it be Val Kilmer as a prettier Jim Morrison? Cuz Mama will need some time to herself with that one.
See ya after my shower. 😉
I’m so very glad that my brain doesn’t do the mental image thing very well…
oh dear, I only just got the last image out of my head and now there’s a new one in it’s place.
more bleach please
See, we had somewhat similar ideas, though yours is absolutely breathtaking in it’s execution! Many many doors to you!
I promise I wasn’t telepatheticing you!
Innana, you have some ‘spainin to do!
Do she have to go Leon-Castile or Cordoba?
I think my meaning is pain to see.
Gerald Ford, in a guest appearance (yes, even in the afterlife there are booking agents) for SNL, is going to prove..once.and.for.all.dammit. that he can deplane sans pratfall.
I’m getting an ad for Gulfstream pilots, an ad for a news article about Boeing, and…..
an ad for “Best Value Scooters $699”
Bwahahahahahaha!!! Someone’s trying to tell Sparky something, here.
“We won’t be friends on facebook” – does that mean that he won’t accept assistance from any of his current friends on facebook? Even if they are spectacularly competent candid photographers?
“Well, everything seems to be in order, just let me check one thing… Oh, I’m so sorry, you’re one of my friends on Facebook. I can’t hire you. Thanks for sending me a bunny topiary for my farm, though.”
Now I really want a bunny topiary. Not on Facebook, because I don’t play that game, but in real life. Wouldn’t that be awesome?
I think real life should be more like Farmville.
“Hey, LRC, we haven’t talked since 1997, but I just thought I’d stop by and hand you this goat.”
“Oh, thanks, random FB friend. I never really liked you in 1997, but let me come over to your house and spread some mulch for an hour at 2 am, since I can’t sleep.”
Seriously….Best. Idea. EVER.
Wait, don’t the hipster “I have rich parents but CHOOSE to beg” crowd already do this?
“Waaaah, someone bring me coffee! Waaaah, someone bring me cigs! Waaaaah, someone give me a place to “crash”!!! All free, of course”.
Yes, but this plan has more goats.
Also, we call those people Trust-afarians.
All the best plans have more goats. And sometimes chickens.
I’m I alone in thinking having random strangers bring me livestock would be AWESOME?
Are there sheep?
Bunny Topiary is the name of my Kajagoogoo cover band.
I will take any of the above livestock. Already cut up and packaged based on cut of meat, with little recipes taped to the front of the package, please.
What? Is that asking too much? Waaaahhh!
I’m I? SJ? I’m I?
Ow..my head hurts.
Well to be fair, SJ is her.
I’m I.
You’re not I or her, but you.
…. wait… who am I again?
*looks at Wikipedia*
Mostly harmless!? What kind of crap is that!
Sorry CJ, I went back and edited my comment but forgot to change “I’m” to “Am I”.
According to my high school friends and I, goat = not.a.virgin. It’s a long story…I just felt I had to tell you because that definition significantly changes this conversation.
Are there sheep?
Oh dear, Taco. I thought we had already decided that what happens on the farm, stays on the farm? That, or you just purchased stock in Brain Bleach ©
You’re assuming he has friends on Facebook? I’m assuming he has none, and he is trying to attract some with classy deplaning photographs. But he still has standards, you know. He couldn’t possibly friend his photographer– someone who’s actually met him and may let slip on his Facebook page how big of an asshat he is.
I’ll do it Sparky! I’ll do anything for $10…..maybe I should get some standards.
There used to be a video on YouTube of my guy saying something very similar.
“Whatever, I’d suck a **** for ten bucks. Ten bucks is ten bucks! You can buy shit with that!”
He got several thousand views before he convinced his friend to remove it. He thought it perhaps didn’t give the best impression. But to this day, “Ten bucks is ten bucks. You can buy shit with that!” is still a running bit with us.
(Oh, and yes, he was kidding)
I’d never suck an asterisk for ten bucks. Far too risky. You can tell that asterisks are dangerous because they have risk as part of their name.
Nowadays, $10 barely gets you a happy meal.
Yeah. You’d have to suck two loads of asterisks for a combo meal.
That doesn’t make me happy.
Seriously, it’s like those “fun sized” candy bars. Really? An actual fun sized candy bar would be much, much bigger.
Yeah. It’s like Funyuns. From the bag:
“FUNYUNS® Onion Flavored Rings are a deliciously different snack that is fun to eat. These playful rings have a crisp texture and are packed full of zesty onion flavor.”
I don’t think I’ve seen anyone crack open a bag of Funyuns and then squeel with glee because of the tide of fun suddenly washing over them.
That’s because Funyuns aren’t fun to open. They’re fun to eat.
The only thing that makes it a happy meal is the toy.
The toy makes a happy meal a choking hazard.
Choking hazard AND you are still out the $10.
I like toys, though.
“Choking hazard AND you are still out the $10.”
Aaaand… we’ve come full circle on this one. Thanks, LL!
I like to complete things. It’s part of my OCD.
Can’t be OCD, it has to be CDO or you’re not doing it right!
Unfortunately, it’s Orbital Chaos Disorder. I need to have closed loops.
I like to ‘spin’ in circles too.
Does anyone else find Not.A.Happy.Meal’s avatar the most depressing ever? That’s a compliment, NAHM. Seriously, I think it’s wrecked my afternoon, but in a good way. 8)
worse than Depressey even?
Depressy is menacing. N.A.H.M. is existential angst.
Anyone else notice that Depressy hasn’t shown up since GrahmT left? They must have booked the same flight.
Interesting, TM. I always thought Bianchi was responsible for Depressy … hmmm. *gives Bianchi Sound a side-eye, then pets his avatar cat*
at least I don’t confuse people with my alter-egos
ok so it’s only because everyone knows they’re me, but it’s still true.
I thought it was Bianchi for a while too… but the similar time frame suggests that GrahamT may have kidnapped Depressy. I think we should call the police.
Well, I’m bummed out, just this instant, for wondering how many no-hit-wonder bands did their meteorite thing named “Chocking Hazard” . . .
Depressy’s been filming a movie…. Toy Story 3!
Kelli, I think I saw some standards for sale on CL.
Do you think they’ll take my firm obo?
Ooooo, Kelli. Your obo is so….firm. Wow.
Now, now. Everyone knows that all obo players are gay. Or at least bisexual.*
*This may not actually be true.
I think I’m going to appropriate that for a personal meme-ish use:
Lola’s friend: So, he’s cute. Are you dating?
Lola: No, he’s an obo[e] player.
LF: (side-eye) Um, riiiight …
Oboist with cute accent: Are you talking about me again?
… sleep deprivation is what makes it funny …
IF: Well, what about the female oboists?
Well, they do know how to keep two reeds wet.
As an oboist, I’m shocked. Shocked! I never knew anyone had such ideas about us. Shocked I say.*
*this may not be true
And Capn – yes we do!
I’m curious what actual perspective our Sparkcase is attempting to capture… a view from the tarmac? Strategically from behind the landing gear of a nearby-parked aircraft? Perhaps from the cabin of an aircraft also just recently touched down? This is an AIRPORT, you whack, not a park on a Saturday afternoon. There exists in the great country a tiny little agency known as the TSA that is endowed with certain enforcement duties to protect the American public from folks scampering about willy-nilly at their local airports with photographic equipment taking photographs of various aircraft and the aircraft’s occupants. Even with prior FAA and TSA approval, your access to such areas will be extremely limited and the chance of successfully taking a photograph that may (or may not) fetch a whopping ten dollars is going to prove highly elusive. Do yourself and the public a huge favor; find a nice stock photo of a Gulfstream G550 in Bozeman and Photoshop your most treasured pic of yourself onto it. I’m certain you’ll have all the approval your Facebook page screams for.
I think this qualifies for the corey tag, but I just love “Sparkcase”! I can’t wait to use it.
*sneaks over to abwh’s place and ever so gently applies corey tags*
Oddly, I think the corey tags may not actually apply here as abwh is giving a reasoned argument as to why Sparky is even more of a dipsh~t than we may have noted at first glance rather than trying to convince the rest of us that we are wrong to make snark at his asshattery because he mentioned something that really exists.
**With thanks and love to Bridgete and Grampdaddy and too many others to mention.
You make an interesting point. Despite that, I think we can all now link to this post whenever another newbie is asking about corey tags. 😉
You would just need a telepathetic lens.
Yes, I need serious help. Who is Corey, anyway? And why can’t I access a style palette for cool font effects like everyone else? I’m a saddened…
…noob.
ab, don’t fret. All will become clear. Over in the tag cloud, you can click on corey and the first ad in the list is the wonderful day when Corey came to play. Unfortunately he didn’t like the game we were playing, took his ball and went home, never to be seen again.
As for the fonts and stuff, it’s magic.
It’s TacomMagic actually.
*sigh* I am in the same boat, abwh. I do not possess any fancy computer skillz, magic or otherwise.
I was, however, present when corey made his initial appearance. There was a collective jaw drop all across the land of YSaC when everyone realized he was being SERIOUS. He has since been immortalized here, a fact that we are all certain pleases him no end. *waves at lurking corey*
Also, Grampdaddy gave me a wonderful explanation of corey when I was new. The full comment is here, but the pertinent part was: To explain Corey – very briefly – Coreys come about when one offers a reasoned, well researched, carefully explained comment on the posting. Said Corey is completely irrelevant because it misses the point that the CL ad is a disaster for any number of reasons, such as coherency, spelling, punctuation, or just because the CL poster is a total dipsh^t. Note that this doesn’t stop us from explaining things, we just put tags around it. Hence the [corey][/corey] you see everywhere. =)
As for font effects, there’s no style palette, you use html. Or, I guess according to the message below the comment box, it’s XHTML.
http://www.yourhtmlsource.com/text/textformattinglist.html
http://www.yourhtmlsource.com/text/specialcharacters.html
HTML is your friend.
EDIT: Darn, Bridgete beat me to the punch. Oh well. I have links.
You do have links. But are they massive?
Bridgete, quit flirting with the jailbait!
I wasn’t!
*rereads comment*
Huh. Sure looks that way, doesn’t it?
Bridgete, you know what happens when you admire minors’ links, especially in a public website like this!
A Corey tag is for a serious , unfunny explanation of the facts. It looks like this: [Corey] a bunch of serious facts [/Corey]
It came from a past about cars where one commenter, by the name of Corey, couldn’t understand why everyone was laughing at a description of “minty shells” and kept trying to explain over and over that it meant mint condition and about the type of car.
I don’t know how to change fonts, but Italics would be [i]word[/i] and Bold would be [b][/b]
only with the arrow symbols (on the period and comma keys of your keyboard, most likely) instead of [ and ]
I had trouble with the tag that crosses out words for a while. I’ve used [s][/s] on other sites, but it didn’t work here. It’s [strike][/strike], right?
StrikeHuh. s used to work…
Also, Silva: I wanna go to a past about cars. It sounds much better traveled than my own past.
[Strike] worked for me in the past. According to Taco below, [Del] also works
LOL whoops. I meant “post”
The edit time has run out now, though.
Well it was in the past… and it was about cars….. so….yeah…
I use [del] (with the arrows instead of course) it does works and it’s much quicker to type
So, I’m wondering where Sparky is planning to park his plane so he can be photographed.
We’re picturing the photographer on the tarmac, right? Out there among the professionals and the people who have security clearance badges?
I think most airports these days would have a problem with that.
EDITED TO ADD: apparently I didn’t refresh quickly enough to realize that abwh had beaten me to the punch. Perhaps I am TelepaThetic.
I always thought you were TelepaThetic. Or maybe just half of that.
And here I thought you were TelepeDantic, Isaac.
And my vote was for TelePerceptive with a hint of TeleTheraputic.
“I will pay $10 for each picture I want and consider repeat business dependent on how many positive Facebook comments and “likes” I
receive.
We will not be friends on Facebook.”
I bet Sparky doesn’t want to be friends so the photographer can’t confirm the likes and comments and demand repeat high value business. But surely Sparky is not bright enough to set all of the cogs in Facebook’s privacy to restricted.
Ah, you’re clever! I thought he was just saying “we won’t be friends” to be a jerk. Your explanation makes more sense (on top of Sparky being a jerk)
I think you’re giving Sparky too much credit, Litarider.
Honestly, unless it’s a plane full of bees I wouldn’t be all that impressed no matter how great the pictures are.
I know, all the rich guys are giving planeloads of bees now. They’ve upgraded from trucks to planes, and from snakes to bees. I hear Paul Allen gave some woman his yacht full of bees. Now that’s something only the very rich* can do!
*and insane
I work for UPS. And one day, from the air delivery, there was a mesh box full of very angry honeybees. I wouldn’t touch it. The supervisor kept trying to get me to be impressed with it “Isn’t this neat?” No, not neat, get it away from me!
I’ve also handled a few envelopes that say live bees are in them… but they have bee sized holes in them and are very flat. So either they are squashed + dead bees, or escaped bees. Definitely not live bees.
Finally… please, PLEASE don’t mail you bees. Or if you must mail them, don’t mail them through UPS. Thank you.
Man I wish I would have read that before I placed my order this afternoon.
If you see a giant box heading to Wisconsin from Africa you might want to let somebody else handle it.
“Please, PLEASE don’t mail your bees” sounds like an early Beatles hit. Making me giggle.
Asked a girl if she wanted some bees.
She said, “Baby, ship them over seas.
I want those with Africa in their genes.
But can you get them without the stings?”
Baby can you ship my bee?
Mail carriers soon will flee.
Baby can you ship my bee?
And maybe I’ll sting you!
Buzz buzz m’ buzz buzz ouch!
I’ve seen bees for sale in gardening catalogs, you can order lady beetles and praying mantises the same way.
You can also mail-order chickens, if that’s your thing.
You can also mail order Tarantulas from teaching science catalogs. They have to be shipped overnight airmail.
Help me if you can, I’m feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round.
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won’t you please, ship my bees?
I was in a colleague’s office sometime last year when the secretary walked in with a box. My colleague was quite thrilled with the arrival, but I was curious what was in it, considering that its size and its mass (as judged by the hand-off) seemed not to match in my mind – particularly considering that most of what we get delivered around here are education books.
“What’s in the box,” intones IF.
“Termites!” responds my colleague, who teaches science education.
This proceeded into a discussion about how termites follow a chemical in blue ink but not other colors, and you can trace in blue and they’ll walk your path.
“And you do this… in the building? Like in that classroom downstairs, next to mine?” queries our increasingly squicked-out hero.
“Oh, yes.”
I think I’m glad this building is mostly made of steel and brick…
christina, I haven’t punched you in a long time! Glad to see you in the box.
Psst, Windrose: You may also want to send the punch TelepaThically, just to make sure she gets it.
I felt your vibes, Archie. Do you think Windrose will telepatheticly punch me? Does that hurt less?
well it can’t hurt more christina, I’m still reeling from mine yesterday
here’s the helmet by the way, you might need it
Nope, christina, because Windrose ain’t no wuss with her punches. Literally, metaphorically, categorically, alphabetically or telepathically, you gonna feel it. So cowboy up, young lady! Set yer hat on square, hook yer fingers in yer belt and grit yer teeth. You should be an old hat at this by now. This ain’t yer first rodeo.
P.S. Congrats! Your comment was perfectly snarky in every way.
I still don’t get it !
*pounds on keyboard with clenched fists*
“Damn you Corey! Damn you and your brackets and slashes!”
Ab: This was the day corey showed up. http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=3819
And wanted to tell us actual truthy things about stuff on craigslist.
:snorts:
He was obviously not a long time reader or he would have known better. I think it was his masterful argument of linking back to his original comment when everyone tried to explain that this is a humorous blog that made me want to go all monkey-ninja on him.
Yes, the self-referential coreytude simply made his cluelessness that much more painful.
Even coming so much later to the party, I still want to go back and try to explain things to him. Or go monkey-ninja on him. That would work, too.
Hey now abwh! You’re doing it wrong!
You need to use mugs and not fists. Like this:
wse4e4 i[jmn u3es8uhn6y jm7yg3e b9o3
abwh – Taco didn’t tell you that for the mugs to work they need to be filled with coffee.
You can type faster if they have recently been emptied of coffee.
Especially if the mugs are big.
I thought you used forks TM?
I used forks for a while, but they weren’t challenging enough.
And the forks really only work if you are a wake enough to refry your coffee slices.
Also, here are some helpful text alteration… things.
<i>Things to be italicized</i>
Italicized
<b>Things to be bolded</b>
Bolded
<del>Things to be struck</del>
Struck<a href=”url”>Text to show up as url</a>
Linked
There are some others but these are the most common.
I’ve always wondered, how do you type the html code to show someone what it looks like without it actually doing…whatever the code should do?
I use ascii codes.
I have a lot of them memorized from my web building days, but there is a good list of them here.
EDIT: You want “HTML Number” column.
For example:
For a < I type <
It would appear that Taco is actually typing the angle brackets using the ampersand-number-semicolon method, as opposed to using shift and the period/comma keys.
&060;i&o62;
EDIT: Darnit, Taco beat me to ‘splaining it.
Poor Astro, everyone’s beating him to the ‘splaining today.
Astro — maybe you could splain to Sparky how to edit using Photoshop. No one has done that yet.
Astro, maybe you could try ‘sploding instead, we seem to have a lack of that today so far.
I don’t think TM ever got his Chili-Cheese Taco yesterday, that could explain the lack of ‘splosions.
Now explain how you make the html code actually show up! That’s the real trick.
EDIT: So this made more sense TEN SECONDS AGO before the last two post showed up while I was typing…
Maybe I should try mugs.
afdaskjljkhfgwqweiour-90234ansf09ljasflk
Ooh, that is faster!
Ok. Let’s see if I got this
straightfigured out.Edit: Woohoo!!
Would there be an easy way to insert a picture right into my post, instead of a link? Like, I kind of want to put Nick Cage from The Wicker Man on here whenever the subject turns to bees.
It might be too much for the “basic XHTML” that’s allowed in the comment box, but it would be <img src=”imageyouwant.gif” alt=”text in case the image won’t load”/>
You’ll need to use the .gif link to the image you want, which you can get by right-clicking and selecting view image.
Edit: Hey look, I learned! Thanks Taco and Astro!
In case this doesn’t work, I’m testing out Bridgete’s img tip.
Nope, didn’t work. I guess because it’s harder to filter images for spam/prawns.
abwh…and don’t get offended but this comment string is the funniest sh*t I’ve read here in, oh I don’t know, hours….
I know. I keep forgetting that I’m hungry. I really should eat, before I faint. Although that could be the new YS@C thing. We have spitting coffee…we have choking on food…and now, fainting!
Alright, I’m going to make lunch.
See what I started? Part of the problem is that I’m completely ascii-literate. (hey, my spell check thinks that’s spelled right!) Also, Steve Jobs has taken all of the technically-challenging aspects of computers and developed cute little drop-downs that control everything from font treatments to the type of creamer-flavors added to the coffee being splashed into your keyboard due to hammering with filled coffee mugs. Now, exactly where should the [corey] (s) have been inserted?
Probably right before: This is an AIRPORT, you whack, not a park on a Saturday afternoon, and ending after: Even with prior FAA and TSA approval, your access to such areas will be extremely limited and the chance of successfully taking a photograph that may (or may not) fetch a whopping ten dollars is going to prove highly elusive. At the very least. Although you could just put it on the whole comment. We won’t complain about overuse of corey…only underuse. 😉
So then (conjecture) It’s like the diamond bracket commands but with [ ] brackets and always containing the requisite "corey" indicating start, and"/corey" indicating end (replace quotation marks with appropriate bracket). Please tell me I'm close.
Yep, that’s it! =)
abwh…you’re close..too close…watch out for the zomb
I think you’ve got it!
[corey corey]See, in computer programming languages, you have to “open” and then “close” your command. If you want something to be in bold, you have to start the boldness, and then end it after you are done being bold. In XHTML, this is done with the < > symbols (called tags, or pointy bracket thingys).
In other places (mostly on bulletin boards, at least that’s where I’ve seen them), you use the [ ] symbols (called brackets) to open and close your commands.
So, the brackets are used to open and close your corey. That is to say, when you are going to share something factual and not snarky on YSaC, you want to warn us. We call that corey.[/corey]
Good boy! You get a gold star!
We also have the less common [Matt] tag for when you’re being outraged.
[Matt] I don’t think the [Matt] tag gets used enough. I’m extremely angry and disappointed with all of you for not giving [Matt] the daily use that I think he/it deserves! You should all be ashamed of yourselves![/Matt]
is this an assMatt or just any old Matt?
I don’t remember Matt. Do you have a link?
if he does you can bet it will be massive.
*whispers* Why do you think I’m asking?
Here’s Matt!
Here’s the first use of the Matt credit.
And the first use of the Matt Tag.
Bzactly! (Not [matt], but [code corey])
Square brackets ([ & ])are used with UBB in many fora.
Angle brackets (< & >) are used with html and xhtml.
Now, it’s possible to edit an html stylesheet to respond to < [specific thing] >, it’s just a lot of work. But, since the html “thinks” it could is why we can’t use <corey>, but can use [corey].
Those of us who are really ancient, still have bad IRC habits like <G> or <Grin> for when we tagged pure text chats with emotions. Which is a pain, as almost every stylesheet in the Universe converts <G> into ” “. So, I have to remember to use [g] here (or an emoticon, which is elbenty characters more than I usually use) instead of the <g> I can use elsewhere.
I do miss being able to use the center, large, small, and font color tags, but I also understand what sort of site moderation headache can result, too.
[/corey]
[corey] actually, a grin is only 2 characters, : and D so it’s actually less than what you’d use elsewhere surely? 😀 [/corey]
Think you missed some semicolons there Capn’.
EDIT: He fixed it, ignore me.
Capn! Many many doors (too many to list) for your use of the word “fora.” 😀
Too much “classical” education at too early and age, and classroom education in Latin to boot.
Means “forums” is as annoying as “mediums” to me (and I only, begrudgingly, allow the use as a collective plural for items of a specific size).
Mind you, I still feel as one of John Adam’s sons was disparaged, “[H]is Latin is poor, and he has no Greek at all.” While often feeling like the one-eyed man in the realm of the eyes-closed.
On the rare occasions a comment is posted by a true Corey or Matt, listen very closely for a whishing sound signifying that the concept of YSaC has flown over his/her head.
(all apologies to Peter, Paul and Mary as it was their voices I heard)
All my bags are packed
I’m ready to go
I’m standing here
Outside the door
I hate to wait for you to say ‘smile’
My rental car is waiting on me
The hired man is blowing the horn
Would you hurry up and focus the camera over here?
‘Cause I’m leaving
Off a jet plane
Don’t know if you caught my good side
Oh whoops, there I go to the floor.
I told you that I’d pay you well
But only if the picture’s swell
Don’t even think that I will be your friend.
‘Cause Facebook and the Twitter are all mine
‘Cause I’m leaving
Off a jet plane
You better get that developed soon
Oh dang, you didn’t use your zoom
Man, everyone has become so musical since I started.
*Hands Limelolly a door*
You are our inspiration, TM. Inspiration = success?
Success, my dear friends, is 93% inspiration, 6% electricity, 4% evaporation, and 2% butterscotch ripple.
I thought it was mostly perspiration.
mmmm… butterscotch
ripple
May I have butterscotch & tuna casserole flavors mixed?
That’s invention you’re thinking of there.
Ummm…and I b’lieve intervention would be most appropriate here..
I can stop drinking coffee any time I want!
*Hand starts shaking*
Don’t judge me!
*Runs off*
*steals Taco’s coffee and runs off chortling with glee*
Taco — haven’t we already tried the coffee intervention. You said last time “I can stop drinking coffee any time I want! I just don’t want to”. I just don’t think you can do it on your own. Check out the local CDA (Coffee Drinkers Anonymous) down the street.
Those are the folks with death grips on their Diet Coke cans trembling uncontrollably, right?
(*squeees quietly in a corner for the Roald Dahl reference*)
Let… me… see… bold italic
struckFar out! Now about those pesky [corey] insert points…
Here’s one from SaraJean yesterday displaying proper corey tag usage.
And a Capnmac corey.
Ohhh… thanks TM, [Shatner corey] It’s. Beginning to. Make sense! [/Shatner corey]. Close? In the Capn’s corey, he didn’t end with [/tool corey] but with [/corey]. Do they perform the same function? Or should that be [question corey] Do they perform the same function?[/question corey]
In general [/corey] is enough to close any coreyism, no matter how you preface it.
[therapy corey] I am done with coffee hour and moving into cocktail hour [/end corey]
[code corey]*
Yes, the codes are in ‘families’ and the close merely needs to match.
Font and document styles are typically the examples used here, when teaching long-hand code use. You can start a font change as [font size=mmm color=nnn] and just close it with [/font].
Was a time, a person could spot the sloppy coders for their use of [/]. We used to use this as an assessment tool for bad people in the cyberverse. Since it used to be the hallmark of amateurs and CL-Sparkies, it meant those were local Deputies or Constables knocking on the door, not MiB.
There will be an aspect of how pro programmers tend to comment program loops, too. (Omitting brief, obscure treatise on LISP in example thereof.)
[/corey]
__________________
*Wondering if we need a tag for “No, we are just explaining, not excluding here”?
Looks like you’ve got ’em, abwh!
We forgot one [quote][/quote] works under our style sheet.
Which looks like this:
Looks like you’ve got ‘em, abwh!
Or not–ok, works in the fora, but not here.
did you mean [blockquote] perhaps Capn?
Ah, yes, precisely.
Cool that it embeds a quote mark graphic, too.
Oh, I’ve been wondering how to do that!
New avatar!
Severus was modeling for me. I particularly liked this shot.
Hey. I changed it, where is it?
Aha! Got it.
Don’t mind me. I’m having a conversation with myself. But not like in the Jason Mraz song.
I see him! ♥
It looks like he’s watching me.
Are we back to “I always feel like somebody’s watching me”? I feel like I’m going in circles today.
Today Artsy? Please tell me that going in circles is normal…
It is normal, right? Right? RIGHT?
Perfectly normal, CJ. Like stealing coffee from TM or flirting with underage members of the opposite sex, or bringing a goat when you visit a friend. All normal.
I have to say, there are a lot of abnormal men out there in the world if flirting with underage members of the opposite sex was not normal. For example, the entire male staff at Circuit City, store #3315, from November 1999 to May 2001. Well, I guess only until April 11th, 2001, that being the date I was no longer “underage.”
(I still wasn’t flirting.)
Yeah, he likes to watch.
*ahem*
Not like that.
I feel compelled to apologize for
hijackingdiverting the subject. It is, after all, not YSaC 101 (although, that might assist former lurkers such as moi from a whole lot of unnecessary instructions and history lessons about [corey] and [/corey]). Thank you all for the instructions; I’ll soon be a productive member of this fine establishment! You’ll see! “C’mon Lassie, there’s somebody stuck in the well!”That’s okay, we all tend to get a little dis…Oooh, shiny!
Well, at least this time she wasn’t eaten by zomb
Very much ok, abwh, no need to apologize. You weren’t the only one helped by the information thread.
Yesterday we were all sweet on relationships, today we are geeking out. Tis the beauty of the YSaC Fambly!
If you gots to be part of dysfunctional fambly, this be the one for me! I loves this place!
Actually YSaC 101 is about a recliner. I have no idea what that has to do about learning about YSaC.
And the update.
So confused.
Oh, my word! Well, Americana via double-wide!
This is convincing me even more that we need a meme-explanatory thread in the forums that we can link people to.
Don’t we have that? We just don’t remember to use it.
Ah but the question then becomes: How long must it be used before it’s deemed a YSaC worthy meme? I’ve seen some great stuff in the last 3 months, but not all of it lasts beyond a week. And other memes are pulled out of storage and used a couple of days and then stored again. For example: it’s been a while since any discussion about the Not.A.Lionel cheesehead has occurred.
A temporary solution would be a ‘search’ that could wrangle up all the links or individual posts by key phrase. But, I know nada about building or maintaining websites, but that’s just my opinion – of which I have a million.
Usually when I need to find something on YSaC I do the following:
Google:
site:www.yousuckatcraigslist.com [thing I’m serching]
It’s rather effective.
Might be worth expanding the FAQ–or, that might be the least work for y’all, our generous, forgiving, and over-worked hosts.
That, or add a tab on the Home About Fora line.
Given the responses from some on the f/b site, I’ve been mulling a “floating” set of quick links. But, it winds up being a lot of overhead (this being a nicely lean webap) and needing some storage space at the “head” end with a very annoying lack of upper limit.
Dunno, we may need to engage the brightness here.
All this discussion on corey tags got it so cemented in my brain that I actually wrote the opening corey tag on a different blog (I was explaining something legal) and then remembered where I was (or, rather, where I wasn’t) and deleted it before submitting.
I did it this morning on something Meredith posted on FB.
I almost did it to you on Facebook when I was explaining your cat’s hunting behavior a while back.
I was dying when I saw you put that on Meredith’s status this morning. I wanted to give you a door, but alas there are no doors on FB.
Go on, use it next time you’re inclined. Don’t bother explaining (coreying the corey?). Either people will get it, or they will get it’s a joke, or they won’t care.
Ah, but you can “like” individual comments, now, so you could back and add that in, if you wished.
“somebody that can take pictures of me deplaning”
I think I have this figured out, this guy really wants to dress up in a little white tux and have his picture taken while he points at the sky and yells “de plane, de plane”
*hands HamCan a door*
I so wish I’d thought of that.
I don’t feel so old now. Thanks 🙂
I used to have a little crush on Herve Villechaize. He had the best lines, too.
Yeah, you could only have a “little” crush on him. Ahem.
Him and Emmanuel Lewis… then I grew up to over 4 feet tall.
Dear Craigslist D.A.,
I would be very happy to take your photographs of you leaving “your” plane. There will be no charge for me to take the pictures, nor will you need to pay me for any pictures you use. I do expect that you will cover any expenses I might incur, including but not limited to: Parking, transportation costs, the professional photographer I’m going to hire to photograph me taking pictures of you (so that I can look like a high-priced photographer taking rich celebrity photos).
If you don’t accept my terms, I’m going to stalk you on FB, in real life, and destroy your life. Have a great day!
ps – how do you like the sample picture I’ve included of you (naked) with the three chickens and the sheep? Isn’t Photoshop wonderful?
Gramps, don’t forget bail, and the attorney’s fees for the trials with the governmental agencies, and the future repercussions from your reputation being marred, by the terrorism charges (however unfounded they may be).
Pshaw! Grampdaddy ain’t afraid of the Feds. He photographed weddings. He’s had to deal with things worse than most people can even begin to fathom….he regularly worked with…brides!!!
Eeeeeeeeek!!!
No – not quite true! Real terror? BRIDE’S MOTHERS.
I still have nightmares.
However, I am grateful – I learned to love a certain clear, distilled, well-chilled beverage.
abwh – I always consider that part of the “including but not limited to” phrase – I was told by a wise attorney that that phrase allows me to charge for anything I can brazenly come up with, as long as I can fake a connection to whatever I am doing. I charged her for my time listening to her explain it…
Grampdaddy, who won? You or the lawyer?
Did you have to set your collections team on her, or did you have to hire her to write up the letter first?
Man, all my linky comments are going to moderation today. The llama-nun must have me on probation for all the explicitly huge links I’ve used in the past.
But you know… good call.
*nods wisely*
I can actually picture you sitting there talking at your screen, “Gods damn it Taco, stop posting links!”
More likely,
“Gods damn it Taco, stop posting!”
😀
Probably. I need a new hobby or something :P.
Except I heard that in Colonel Tigh’s voice, and I’m pretty sure the Llamanun isn’t a balding 60-year-old cyclops with a drinking problem.
Yet.
Oh, dear, now I can’t not hear it in Col. Tigh’s voice.
Edit: She looked like a perfectly normal human llama nun to me, but she was drinking.
I guess llama nuns look like us, now. 🙁
In my mind she was a perfectly normal llama in a Nun’s robes, but she was in Picard’s chair.
Nested comments about TNG, BSG and a llama nun, on a web site where we earlier discussed style sheets and html code? Yeah, we’re pretty frakking awesome.
*geek high five*
That’s funny, I’ve always imagined Picard’s chair too. It just has this majestic aura of authority surrounding it, much like our most holy Llama-Nun (bees be upon her).
And also upon you.
But, wait, that would make the llamanun a cylon!
Yes, and that makes me more than a little worried.
Worried? For, or, About Dan . . . ?
Hmm, wonder if we can use “adult” language like fr*k or sempr*ni here?
I’d guess it’s set the same way mine is TM, more than one link and it goes straight for moderation.
Since we’re in remedial mode today, why is it that the comment I want to reply to does not always have a reply link? Is it that we stop nesting comments after a bit? And, if so, how do I find the comment to reply to so that my comment ends up in the right thread?
This seems to be more “art” than “science” as my comments have occasionally ended up in unrelated places… or far further up the comment stream than I’d hoped.
It can only nest up to three deep. If that’s the case, scroll up until you find the next highest post that does have a reply tag; you can reply there and it will go at the end of the chain.
drmk — tell Moria the truth — it’s all magic that is controlled by the computer Gods.
That too.
[comment corey]I think I graphed it out one day, but I’m too lazy to look back through the archives to see. Let’s see if I remember it…
When placing an original comment, people can comment on it and those comments have a reply tag. If someone replies to a comment on a comment, that tertiary comment does not have a reply tag and you have to go back up to the secondary comment to have a comment appear under the tertiary comment. Like this;
COMMENT A
.Comment A1
..comment A1-a
..comment A1-b
..comment A1-c
.Comment A2
..comment A2-a
..comment A2-b
..comment A2-c
.Comment A3
..comment A3-a
..comment A3-b
..Comment A3-c
COMMENT B
[/comment corey]
Having looked up Gallatin Valley, I gotcher positive Facebook comment right here, Sparky: Forget whose plane it is — you might want to exclude airport identifiers from your “candid” shots, because I’m pretty positive that your flying into Bozeman, Montana, isn’t going to leave most ladies all aquiver and reaching for the Like button.
Adore this.
Twelve hours later, I still can’t think of an accompanying comment that doesn’t make me sound like a moron or doesn’t require brain bleach. So kudos, Caro. Fantastically snarky package, there.
[nostalgia corey]
I used to work on the flightline. One of my first jobs was “dude who cleaned and preped the private jets between flights.” Which meant hauling a Hoover up tail boarding ramps. And using 409 on the steps. And also running the vacuum on the carpet rolled out to the boarding steps too. I also to valet the cars around to the side of the hanger, and wash them just before their highnesses got back.
Give a person a jaded view of corporate big-wigs and the über-riche, supra-income set, let alone the “do/don’t look-at-me-I’m-famous” set as well.
So, what I’m thinking is that Sparky in the CL ad is some aide to the assistant to the flunky for the PA to someone who flies into Bozeman. And has had a thought which is only original because they are that sort of dim teenager. And will likely be sore disappointed when they are carrying bags, or boxes, and not wearing a suit or tie.
But, I’ve also seen aircraft where the scruffiest person on board was the one who did not have to carry keys, ID, cash, or such mundane trivialities, there was a major-domo, equerry, PA, or such similar for all that.
Dang it, now I want a sammitch, something good and hearty from a decent deli, and the warm shade of a hangar along the tarmac–burnt kerosene and hot asphalt and SkyDrol with a hint of Texas summer ozone all mixed together. Or, maybe some General Aviation time–good old Piper or Cessna time, warm metal, tinge of sweat, hint of motor oil (with hot castor oil whiff) plus cologned/saddle-soaped-too-many-times leather, and box lunches with cold fried chicken sort of thing.
[/corey]
This is a perfect example of a flawlessly executed corey. Take notes everyone.
Brilliant. I’ll sit and reflect for a moment, if that’s okay?
The good Cap’n is in excellent form today.
Dunno, if I’d harped on how security would be less of a problem at Bozeman Muni, or that the average paid price for blurry f/b photos in Galatin Valley is only $8 each, then, maybe.
Wandered off, stream-of-oh, Shiny Thing! style more than once, too.
(And now have a yen for the roast beef au jus sammitch box from Jason’s [grrrr])
I don’t know what it is you just said, but it sure was pretty.
No harping… get thee some food. Roast beef is nice, while corned beef is my yen.
Thou hast [coreyed] enough. Shut the working mind down, and get you a drink.
Tis and excellent suggestion, if a tad early.. Will want food before drink, and budget will not allow but for leftovers. Such is the sad state of being at the last threads of the last yarns of the last strand of that apocryphal rope, attempting yet one lass bit of sennet while hanging on waiting for good news.
Good for one’s Zen, starting out, admirable view of Void and Nothingness to contemplate (sets of the Shiny bits nicely). Later on, the Scenic view of Precipice and/or Perdition inures even as it horrifies (cannot recommend that latter; bit like repeating 12th grade after having graduated, double the woe and half the good).
I don’t recall if you said or not, but this post somehow made me feel that you must work for the gov’ment. Or a similarly fashioned facsimile thereof.
I sense a wrenching loss of soul and bitterness.
Well, the photo is of me in “work” attire, if from a promotion ago.
Said employ only pays the one day a week, though. I’ve not had regular, M-F type work since 2008. I’ve expanded my part-time “hobby” consulting employment out to full time as much as I could. But, the market is drying up, and the bank with my Line of Credit went bankrupt. I did score and interview, 2 July, first of those since January, but I have to wait until next week to hear if I did better than the other 9 interviewees (40 applications for the one job, and that for stopping at 40).
You run out of things to sell to get by, can’t get a callback from Wal*Mart, get told you are “too smart” to work at Hastings–these things add up after a bit.
If only I only owed a soul at the one company store [sigh]. And could spend time wondering if, when. I’ll wind up like Mr. Peabody’s coal train.
Kudos, Capn, for the Tennessee Ernie Ford reference. And your story is sad but all too often true in these rough times. Remember Paine’s words: These are the times that try men’s souls. We are on the precipice of a different kind of crisis in this country, but truly a crisis nonetheless. You are doing an admirable job of keeping your chin up, dear man.
[ _____ corey] Bitterly sad, that a jovial and usuriously jocular blog bears such dread and trepidation. Best, pays neither account nor belly. Best, none the less. [ /_____ corey].
Not so much TEF, as the song “Sixteen Tons” rattling around my head.
While best wishes can be thin gruel when real want exists.
They cannot, must not, should not be denied, diminished, or demurred.
For, such is the evil spiral of despair, the denial of Hope.
Some days that task, as humbling as any other, is redoubled when one’s frustration, one’s debts (the physical ones as much as the financial ones) all add up in misery.
Tends to form obscure Koan, if a mind has that bent.
Slightly OT but I finally got around to the YSAC Facebook page and only one of my friends liked it. I feel so alone.
*gasp*
I only had one friend like it too. Are you my friend? 😉
I didn’t hit the like button until today, so I don’t think so. Not that I wouldn’t be your friend.
You can both friend me! I have many YSaC friends on Facebook! i can even send you a sheep!
While I’m not sure I’d want to firn anyone, I’ll consider the offer.
I’ve never been firned on Facebook before. Is that like a poke?
Join us, Kelli!
I have nine facebook friends who also like YS@C. Of those, five (I believe) are from regular commentators here. I know for sure that four of them are Lola, Cap’n, Windy, and LRC. I haven’t figured out the fifth.
I’m also friends with MandaB (or, I’m assuming, based on the real name on facebook) but it appears she needs to “like” the YS@C facebook page.
Oh, also, feel free to friend (or firned) me too!
As you can see, absolute power corrupts absolutely. I can go back and edit my posts at any time. Mwaahahhaha! Now none of your posts make any sense! If I had a mustache, I’d twirl it!
Bridgete and others– I did firned you on FB… but I forgot the ‘add as friend’ tab doesn’t give the option to send a message with it… just look on the info page.. I only have few ‘Likes/Interests’
It does, Limelolly, you just have to click on “add a personal message”
LRC — it doesn’t if someone has changed account settings and that option isn’t available. Everyone I friend requested, after I posted that note above, had left that option.
Facebook: it’s a total pain in the tookus.
Oooooo, yeah, there is a setting for “don’t let random people I’ve never met send me messages.” I guess before you friend them they are random people. Good point.
Since this thread of conversation still seems to be going on today, and I received some friend requests from people I can only assume are you guys, just know I won’t accept friend requests. I frequently harass my sister for having friends on Facebook that she doesn’t know in real life, and I don’t want to appear a hypocrite.
It took me a long time to be willing to friend people I don’t know in real life. I still won’t do it unless I feel I know them, and it has to be a forum where they’re unlikely to be pretending they’re someone different, like here. Even then, I wait for them to send me a request.
Also, I think it’s smart at your age not to add people you don’t actually know. Maybe when you’re older…although I suppose you could still seem like a hypocrite then. You could always tell her it’s okay after you turn 18 because you’re an adult.
Oh, and to LL, I apparently had the “only friends” message setting. I occasionally got weird creepy messages from strange men. I now set it to match my search settings, so basically, if you can see me, you can message me. I already accepted you anyway, but at least you know it was my settings, not facebook being weird. =)
Astro, can you share the link to the not.a.lion FB page again when you get a chance please? I’ve been unable to find it. Many thanks!
Oh, and getting firned on FB is sort of like getting poked by a firm OBO, but not quite.
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/pages/Not-A-Lions/126339934054310?ref=ts
Thank you Wondrous Llamanun! Bees be upon you!
Bridgete, that is very odd. I would swear I had “liked” it awhile back. I will “like” it again when I log on in the morning. 🙂
I just now accessed a computer, and saw that this post has 319 comments. Wow. That’s what I get for not coming to the Snark Lounge sooner.
I don’t know of a way to see the actual number posted per poster (?) but fear I was both most posted, and cause of most posts, if that makes any bit of sense.
And I learnt a whole lot as well.
I don’t think it gives a “per person” count, just a total.
I also don’t think for a minute that you’re the only one who learned something today either.
Missed you, we did. [/yoda]
I learned things too!! Yay for learning!
Sorry! I’m going to be gone all of next week, too, which makes me very disappointed. I suppose I’ll have to find some other outlet for my snark. On the upside, I need the vacation, and I’m looking forward to seeing some lovely California tidepools.
Have a great time! I’m going to be gone all weekend, but there will be plenty o snark.
Oh! Oh! Will you be near San Diego? 8)
O, to be 17 and young, traipsing among the tidepools
as only a Dalek in a tutu can . . .
(Probably some sort of Dalek space-time nefariousness that caused the earthquake [evil titter changing to bwahahahaha])
Yes actually, I will be in the San Diego area! And I’ll try not to create any holes in the time vortex, or destroy any cities, or turn people into pigs, or anything of that sort.
Airstair.
Airstair. Airstair.
Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair. Airstair.
Airstair!
My aplogies for hanging my corey out here when it should be a reply to abwh’s uncoreyed corey, but loading the reply page when there is this many comments turns the Sprint network into a 28/8 modem…
[private jet corey] Having flown a small plane before, I’m pretty sure that Sparks will not run into too many issues with security because he will likely fly into a small municipal airport that caters to private business and hobby craft. [/private jet corey]
And for the record, it was not my plane, I took a flying lesson. It was simultaniously the coolest and scariest thing I have ever done.
I agree with Dev – I learned something today. Asshats think they might be cool if they are getting off a private jet. Asshats may also have learned something today: They’re asshats.
Narcissists are asshats who think it’s all about them.
Asshats always think it’s about someone else.
I’ve been blocked from commenting at the office for 2 days now. I’m starting to suffer from withdrawal pangs.
Surprised, it’s nigh unto time for Windrose to close us out, to bid us a happy trip oe’r the Jordan, bidding Bozeman goodbye.
Yup, Cap, you are right on. 8) Christina, I hope you have your helmet on snuggly! Punchity Punch Punch!
Taco, LRC, here’s one to share! Punchity Punch Punch!
G’night, Gallatin Valley!
Oooooo, my very first punch! Thank goodness it was only half of one; I’m going to have to work my way up to a full punch.
Thanks, Windy!
Congrats, Taco!