YSaC, Vol. 740: At least they got “wardrobe” right.
2010 July 27
I mentioned reflectoporn yesterday. (I mean, honestly, it’s a rare day that I don’t mention reflectoporn, but that’s neither here nor there.) *cough* Er, where was I? Oh, right … reflectoporn.
VERY OLD ”2 DOOR WARDROBE”…..
HAS A SKELETON KEY…AND MERCURY MIRRORS…
NICE CONDITION…
95.00
What? I had to put that behind a cut — you can see her pussy!
Okay, okay, okay. I’m sorry. But really, it does kind of look like she’s taking the picture in her underwear while trying (and failing) to hide behind a door.
Thanks, Maggie!
A new record – drmk crossed the line before the post was up!
I noticed that, too – in fact, I had to read that twice and make sure my brain hadn’t misconstrued something innocent.
For once, it hadn’t.
Is drmk starting a new llamanun (bees be with her) habit?
What? It was totally innocent.
If the llama-nun sayeth it, it must be so.
Obviously. Just look at the halo of bees circling above her head.
*This may not actually be true.
Halo of Bees=Band name!
(Or video game)
I will provide you with some more crossed lines:
┼ ┼ ┼ ┼ ┼ ┼ ┼ ┼ ┼
There, enjoy them.
✡✡✡✡✡✡✡✡✡
L’chaim!
Word on the street is, Jesus didn’t appreciate that.
He didn’t appreciate that one either, Astro.
That’s ok, I’m told Jesus is the forgiving type.
If he’s really upset I’ll get him some flowers and we can have some make up…
You know what, I think there’s a second line hidden beyond the first that I’ve just found.
Like walking in the rain and snow
When there’s nowhere to go
And you’re feeling like a part of you is dying
And you’re looking for the answer in her eyes
You think you’re gonna break up
Then she says she wants her makeup….
(the things we do for Jesus)
Geez, How big was the Mercury that those mirrors came off of?
Well, it’s no longer a planet… so it must have be alot.
What, not Mercury, too? First Pluto, then Mercury? Next thing you know, Earth won’t be good enough to be a planet.
Earth is next on the list!
They say that it’s going to implode into a million pieces, because stoopid people are sucking up all our air.
I feel sorry for Jupiter and Uranus. They are going to be getting the crap of the universe.
*Did I forget to mention I haven’t had any coffee today?*
And then I’ll have to move, because Mamma Dalek won’t let her daughter living on any old celestial object–anyone know any good planets in the area?
Teehee.
Uranus is getting the crap of the universe.
Those look more like Freddie Mercury mirrors!
They take my breath away.
Professor Farnsworth: I’m sorry, Fry, but astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all.
Fry: Oh. What’s it called now?
Professor Farnsworth: Urrectum
The complaint I always hear about those Freddie Mercury mirrors is that they make girls’ bottoms look fat.
I hear they make the rockin’ world go ’round, though.
I think when Earth goes onto the planet status chopping block she’ll point at Mars and go, “Look how small he is!” then run away.
Does the fact that the cat appears to be watching her while she’s in what looks like underwear make this Feline Perventional? Or is that just Purrventional?
Does anyone else think that of the two sentient beings shown in the ad that the cat is the smarter? (Even allowing for the fact that it’s all spelled correctly, etc.)
Is it OK to eat chocolate for breakfast when you’re on vacation? I’m going to the dentist later …
Hershey bars on their own? Maybe not, but throwing chocolate chips into pancakes, or a double chocolate chunk muffin or 3 is completely encouraged.
Green & Black’s – either hazelnut and currant (nuts have protein! and look! it has fruit in it!), cherry (more fruit!), or plain dark (antioxidants, less fat than milk choc). Does that make a difference?
Oh, game on! You never mentioned nuts and fruit.
What kind of game do you play with nuts and fruit?
Treasure hunt in the bush?
Around here, all games are played with fruits and nuts.
Oh, I think nuts and fruits definitely define breakfast. (But, then, I’ve made the excuse of “the pioneers used to do it!” for eating pie for breakfast. Which is probably passable for apple pie, but a bit of a stretch for lemon meringue…)
For what we are charged for a cleaning, I think we ought to be able to eat our fill of gorp in the waiting room . . .
Lou, I think I just fell in love with you.
The way I see it, muffins have eggs as does cake, so cake = muffins. Pancakes have flour as does cookies, so cookies = pancakes. Orange juice has fruit as does most pies, so orange juice = pie.
I always am on board when someone uses Jim Gaffigan logic!
Is this the same logic that we used as kids to try and convince our parents that pizza was healthy on the grounds that it combined all 5 food groups?
Isn’t it?
What? What are you saying TM?
WAAAAHHHHH!!!!
That’s why my other name is Rolgar: Destroyer of Dreams and Hope.
Pizza is healthy, if you make it at home, if you use whole wheat flour, if you use low fat cheese and either skip the meat or use lower fat substitutes, if you add lots of veggies, and if you control your portions.
Personally, I ignore everything after the first comma and just insist that pizza is healthy.
Rolgar spelled backwards is RAGLOR. Coincidence? I think not.
Tinkerbell just died a little.
Kelli, I think I just fell in love with you.
I see this train heading for “Dad is great! Give us the chocolate cake!”
There is nothing wrong with cake for breakfast.
Ice cream on the other hand…. puts food in both hands.
Astro, you’re too young to have watched the Cosby Show.
I had thought of posting that very thing… however I was afraid that it would date me.*
*I really don’t want to date the ‘Cos, I’m happier just being friends.
EDIT: Bridgete is right! Astro, you’re too young to be quoting Bill Cosby! I think Astro is really a 48 year old woman trying to catch predators… on YSaC… yeah it starts to fall apart there.
[corey] Actually, I don’t think that was the Cosby Show, I think it was either the video of “Himself”* or one of the old records**, I can’t be sure [/half-assed corey]
*Which I remember first watching on VHS, of course
**As if there were “new records” with which to confuse it, but … anyway …
[cosby][corey]Lola: It was indeed first publicised in “Himself.” However it was part of his stand up routine for about 2 years leading up to that release.
[/corey]
*feels old*
I remember growing up, listening to ‘The Coz’ on vinyl records and then cassettes. I adore youtube for giving me the visuals of the comedic routines I loved. Ever heard him tell about ‘The Blob’ and smearing jello at the doorway?
And I’m not old. I haven’t even hit forty yet.
*handing Astro a big glass of grapefruit juice to go with that chocolate cake*
OMG – Lolly! The blob and jello routine is my favorite of all time!
I thought it was a living chicken heart that caused him to smear jello.
I remember being a little kid and drawing with the Cos when he was on Picture Pages.
*sings*Picture Pages, picture pages, lots of fun with picture pages, lots of fun with crayons and with pencils.
Mooom! Dad maaaaade us eat the chocolate cake! We wanted pancakes an eggs, but he maaaade us!
I remember my dad let us stay up late to watch that on HBO back in the early eighties. The next morning we got chocolate cake for breakfast. Mom had pretty much the same reaction that Cosby’s wife does in the skit.
[childhood corey]I must have been an odd child. I would much rather have recieved actual breakfast food as opposed to chocolate cake. Even a bowl of bran flakes would have been supperior in my eyes. Granted I loved bran flakes as a kid. I would eat them dry as a snack after school just about every day. Made my parents happy because bran flakes are dirt cheap (and it kept me regular).
Then again I was an odd child that way. I couldn’t stand white bread and would throw a fit if I got a sandwich with anything less than whole wheat (I perferred 12 grain, but we were fairly poor growing up, so that was rare treat). I liked candy ok, but even given a huge bag of assorted candy and the permission to eat as much as I wanted, I’d usually only eat a piece or two before growing tired of the sugar and craving something more substantial.
[/childhood corey]
So that’s why you turned to Mexican?
Mexican, Thai, Indian, etc.
Anything with a lot of taste, yes.
Life is too short for things that have subtle taste.
LimeLolly, I think I just fell in love with you.
And right back out again. You just implied I’m old. [pout]
I like spicy food. A lot. At the Low Brass Annual Mexican Lunch at Band Camp last year, I put hot sauce on everything that I hadn’t dipped into the hot salsa. Unfortunately, I had no milk to easily put out the ensuing tongue-fire with.
I have a feeling my son will have similar tastes… I’m sure he’ll still like sugary stuff, if he’s anything like Mr.EB and I, but he’s had a couple things that he’s loved and we’ve been baffled: Thai massaman curry (not too spicy, but he still liked the red curry I gave him a few days later!) and the pickled ginger you get with sushi. He’s 10 months old, and he ate sooo much of that stuff last time we were out! It was hilarious!
Tron was a huge fan of the Teriyaki Mango Pork Roast I made on Sunday. It had several peppers in it so I was surprised he enjoyed it so much. He especially liked the chunks of potato that had soaked in the sauce.
How old is the mini-Taco now?
If you actually named your child
crotchfruitTron, then you shall be crowned King ofthe Geeksthe GreeksAwesomeland.AR: Tron is just over 9 months now.
Astro: Tron is only his nickname.
Holy crap, LRC. I just updated my FB status to something about Picture Pages a few hours ago. Great minds!
I get the Picture Pages song stuck in my head at least once a week. I guess I watched a lot of it at a very young age.
My gramma actually believed this type of logic to justify giving us cakes, cookies, chocolate…beer (just kidding, that I know of). But then, she also believed that ignoring cancer would make it go away…
Gramma’s logic may have been faulty.
That didn’t leave me with a chuckle like I expected it to Meredith….
Meredith, that made me sad inside.
Bwahahahahahahahaha!
Nope, still sad. I’m going to go have a coffee and listen to “Don’t Worry Be Happy.”
Sorry guys. I guess since it doesn’t really make me that sad, I forget that it sounds tragic outside my family.
We loved Gramma, but she wasn’t a very nice person. In fact, she was pretty nasty, and got worse toward the end. We aren’t GLAD she’s dead….just, hmmm, how do I put this….not sad that she isn’t spewing her anger and resentment at us every time we see her.
Edit: oh, and Gramma’s been gone for ten years now. It’s not a recent thing.
Had an uncle die somewhat recently who was kinda like that
He’d been dying for 15 years and was really a weight on his family. He had high power diabetes that he refused to change his lifestyle for. By the end he didn’t have much personality left, both his legs were gone, and he needed to be cared for 18 hours a day. He was really a vegetable who could still control his mobility cart enough to get himself to the TV.
It’s sad, but it was a big relief when he finally died. His family seems much happier now and they have time to focus on themselves.
I’ve told my wife that if I ever get that bad that she’s to dump me in a home and get on with her life. And if I ever do start to get that bad, I hope I’ll retain enough of my faculties to have a sky diving accident.
I can see the headline now:
“Dying Tex-Mex Entree Commits Suicide by Tacosplat”
“Spatula Employed to Lift Stuck-on Taco.”
The gravestone read:
Taco is now a Tortilla. He was burritoed to fit in the casket.
Is it wrong to say this is the best.thread.ever.best.ever.best.ever?
[real life corey]My Dad is early dementia/Alzheimer’s – sister has checked out, I’m it, so dark humor is where I find it these days.[/end real life corey]
Dark humor helps keep us sane.
Rock it!
CJ, we may not be able to help you in any other way, but we’ll do our best with the dark/questionable/line-crossing humor here.
Taco, maybe my Mom didn’t do everything right but she was actually the one who argued with me that pizza was healthy when I described it as junk food. I didn’t really have a prepared response for her.
There is something to be said for one’s humor being like chocolate–sometimes darker is much much better. But, that’s no reason to turn down a bit of divinity fudge every now and again.
Lola — have a little dairy (ice cream) with it. That helps balance out the meal.
Have a great vacation!!!
I thought the four food groups were: sugar, starch, grease and the burnt crunchy stuff. Just fit chocolate into there and you’re made, whether its vacation (“I’ll be doing something fit to work this off”) or everyday workdays (“I’ll be so stressed my internal energy will burn this off”). *this may or may not be true*
No, no, the four food groups are chocolate, coffee, sugar, and things-with-an-abnormally-long-shelf-life. (Mmmmm, PopTarts)
I say you try to eat as much bizarre food as possible, and then do a shoddy job of brushing your teeth. Make it a game for the dentist to try and figure out what tiny bits of refuse he’s finding in your molars.
TOOTH OR DARE!
This is just a cleaning … I probably won’t even see the dentist, just the hygienist and her Gum-Gouging Implements of Torturous Doom.
On the other hand, there’s a kickass bakery by the bus stop there, and I think I’ll stop by afterward and get the chocolate items then (I decided to be a responsible adult and have eggs), for enjoyment after my gums stop hemorrhaging.
I think the worst mess I’ve given my dentist was a burrito. He said the starches from the wrap and rice really stick to your teeth. I enjoy that freshly cleaned by a dentist sensation so if I might make a recommendation, I would say that you should go to the bakery before your appointment and get a nice starchy chocolate product. That way you give your dentist a challenge and you get chocolate for breakfast. Maybe the bakery will have a chocolate rice pudding?
I ate garlic (in a breakfast condiment). I think she will hate me enough already.
Still getting the chocolate pastry for after though – I need to clean the house and if I can reward myself with that after it might actually get done. Even if the pastry does trash the just-cleaned feeling.
Funny, I would have thought Tacos would present a sticky toothed mess for dentists/elves*.
*Hermey the Misfit Elf reference
Awww, was hoping for at least a vacation-worthy lemon poppy seed muffin {G}
Cat: Madam, why are you taking a picture of our wardrobe while adorned only in your knickers? Surely you can operate a camera with a full compliment of clothing?
Reflectopornstarlett: Shut up kitteh! I gonna be a star! They see me in my underware on craigslist and they put me in there movie! See, is reflecting my hawtness!!1!
Cat: Surely there are more productive and direct ways of getting scantily clad images of yourself on the internet? It seems needlessly obtuse to put a fake advertisement in obscure [location] hoping to be noticed by a movie producer in the off chance he needs a blurry girl in her underwear for his next feature.
Reflectopornstarlett: Damn it kitteh! Don’t call me Shirley. Imma be a star!
Cat: Whatever you say, madam. Now if you’ll excuse me from this depraved-
*Click*
Cat: Oh you did not just take the picture with me in it! That tears it, I know you aren’t wearing your shoes right now! *Cat runs from the room*
The gentle sound of *Hrrffff Heruruff* can be heard from off camera as the screen fades to black.
All I can say is…… Calassay and Aducacted!
Reminds me of Catsby.
http://www.penny-arcade.com/images/2005/20050905h.jpg
(still don’t have the embedding thing down yet)
Yeah, that’s right….it’s a cat with a monocle. Take a minute with that. I’ll be over here basking in the afterglow of awesome.
Ahh Catsby, I wasn’t even planning on paralleling him, but it’s there.
It’s also got a slight “Sharp Kitten Teeth” feel to it.
Tiny Kitten Teeth? I went to middle school with Becky :-p
Yes it should have been “Tiny Kitten Teeth“. Sorry, only had about 3 hours sleep last night so I’m butching all kinds of things this morning.
I’d have thought that was an unwise choice of words, given you live in the Serial Killer Capital of the World, but then I re-read and saw you’re just butching. Very well, carry on, and lift this couch for me to clean under while you’re at it, pls.
Curses!
You’ve not seen the last of me
IsaacBridgeteJen!Reflectopornstarlett is pretty talented already if she can mix up homophones in her speech!
When I was taking the dictation I may have done that to make her seem less intelligent.
I know it was mean, but she probably deserved it.
I wonder if the Cat can sue for misuse of its likeness…
Depends on the financial resources the cat has.
Right sort of trust funding can make it easy to get representation.
But, it can be harder to secure barristers for salmon treats, a half-shredded fluffy bit of yarn and a sunny spot by the window.
Foolish barristers.
Well, y’know…barristers are supposed to understand the law. Nobody said they had to understand true happiness.
I’ve read this a dozen times or so and
makes me seriously giggle every time.
And I didn’t even have nitrous at the dentist (back now, teeth feel like they’ve been Windexed, and pastries are in fridge)!
I would give her a role. I hear Titanic 2: Mermaid Saviors is still casting. Does she have underwater acting experience?
I think Moira just fell in love with you.
It didn’t involve chocolate… or pizza… or cake.
I think my affections this morning were a little too easily swayed by food. I think I may have been hungry.
But I think I still love Lou.
I always put my pussy in pictures I post to sell random items on random websites. I believe pussies are the best salesmen and I am unanimous in that.*
*None of this may actually be true and I blame drmk for crossing the line so early.
They are natural-born salesmen.
After all, they inform you when you’re going to feed them, let them out, where to sleep, when to move over because you’re hogging the couch.. it’s only fitting that they tell you what to buy. You should see the commissions the ones at my house get!
We tend to be dog people here in Grampdaddy’s house. Grampmommy has allergies to cats, so there are no felines here.
Yup, you read that right, Grampmommy has no kitty… And that is why, Kelli, we don’t sell anything on CL.
Sometimes I wish I could un-read things…
bwahaha… sorry, that was unexpected.
Manda,
Maybe duct tape his fingers together and then staple him to the chair? Or staple his fingers and duct tape him to the chair… either way, oughta keep him out of trouble.
For 5 minutes anyway.
*at least I resisted the impulse to empathize with Grampdaddy and his lack of cats… it was a tough battle there, though*
:forgot earlier vow about crossing food with YSaC perusing and is now chewing on the emergency Pepto tablets:
*sets up souvenir stand* Get your YSaC Crossed Lines right here! Only $5 each or 3 for $20! Here’s the line Taco crossed with his massive link! One of a kind! Here’s the lines HamCan crosses every day! Only two to a customer. And the most rare and exotic line of all, the one crossed PRE-post by the Llama-nun herself, may bees be upon her!
I’ll take my two, thanks.
*goes back to wait for turn to cross the line again*
I don’t remember ever crossing the line. (That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!!) So Windy can I get a line, just NOT Taco’s massive link. I’ll give you 1.50 minty shells made by Bob for 1 – that’s my final offer.
I am quite proud of my line crossing. I can cross lines better than ANYBODY. I can cross the line so far, you won’t even be able to SEE the line, that’s how far back it’ll be.
So.. you have mad hopscotch skills.
But can you swing the length of the monkey bars?
What, we’re back to simian saloons again?
Capn, it’s the only childhood recess activity I could think of that might keep from line crossing while crossing a line. i.e. dodgeball, tag, jacks, double-dutch, swings, four-square… so I stuck with the monkey bars(not jungle gym).
I’m giving you all I can, Capn’!
I’m afraid to cross lines in my state.
If you stay in your state, kelli, you won’t be crossing any lines.
I’ll be leaving my state next week for a few days. I may have to show my papers to re-enter it.
Ahh … Arizona, right?
Yep. They’re thinking of changing our state motto to, “Ve need to zee your papers!”
Schnell! Schnell! Die Grenze ist verletzt!
Lookin’ at that woman-girl
(In the mirror)
We see reflecto-porn for sure
And you show it even still
When you know the line is crossed
For the first time
You understand wow!
Why you came here today
‘Cause the truth we get from the Llama nun*
can enthrall
But it’s like the rented pig at a party
A new one comin’ every day
So I’m waitin’ for tomorrow
I dream of Sparkies
And if my snark is inappropriate to you
Sorry to be a pain
*May bees be with her, and may all her tables have eight sides.
There are two people reflected in the mirrors.
Junior is learning the skills he needs to peek into the girl’s locker room. And the science of refraction…
Ooh, missed the second one. Well done.
It’s those gecko eyes–they’re very clean from all the eyeball licking.
“eyeball licking”
*squick*
Don’t be jealous, Lo.
You have people following you everywhere…..
I have to offer a 15% or more discount.
(whoohoo, line crossed again!)
I’m an otter.
Otters are in zoos and aquariums.
∴ people pay to see me doing my thing in a cage.
I’m a demonchild. People pay and I make *them* do things.
In Soviet Russia Otter does you!
Wait… what?
*eyeball lick*
Her skin is LimeLolly green,
Her lips sweet surprise
Her hands are always cold
She’s got Geico Gecko eyes
She’ll turn her music on
You won’t have to think twice
She’s pure as Lola’s New York snow
She got…
Gordon Gekko eyes
Mudsy, Bette Davis is either turning in her grave or she’s laughing … really not sure which.
Oh…Bette Davis was a tough old broad. She probably lounges in an electric gravey bowel anyway.
😉
*wipes a tear*
That was so sweet Mudsy, I’m so touched.
*Erp* No that was gas…but still, it was sweet of you.
All I can think of when I look at that ad is a title…
“The lying bitch in the wardrobe”
Visions of the ex again HamCan?
No, that would be the lying psycho B**CH from hell who is the center around which our universe revolves.*
*Not the way I really feel, but fun for snarking purposes 🙂
Wait…we dated???
He may be talking about me (I always figured my employees said that). Bad thing is it must have been a short, but eventful marriage but I don’t remember it.
Hmmm, let me check my book…
*Turns tothe “M’s”
Mabel, Madeline, Madge, Madison, Magdalene, Maggie, Mahalia, Maia, Maisie, Malva, Mandy, Mara, Marcella, Marcia, Margaret, Margot, Marguerite, Maria, Marian, Maribel, Marie, Marilyn…
Nope no Meredith…unless that’s not your real name 🙂
You forgot “mudslicker” HamCan….
Muhhhhwwaaaaahhhhhh!
No, no I didn’t…
You are in “another” section of my book
*winkwinnudgenudge*
oooh….sexaaaaay!
What? No?
Does this other section of your book involve “spells”..?
… or recipes?
… or religious rites of exorcism?
[Graham/HHNF Banter]Do the religious rites of exorcism involve HAWT SECTS?[/Graham/HHNF Banter]
**looks at what he’s typed.**
Sigh. It’s just not funny without them doing it.
*Thumbs pages
Ahhh, there you are right next to the holy hand grenade of Antioch.
Says…
“She’ll nibble your…”
But notice that I said nothing of……
……
……
[Evil duct tape!!+++!!!]
Ahhh yes
I remember
……….
and …………………………………….
and………………………………………..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Evil goof off!!+++!!!]
*snerk*
Hope that’s not an autobiography, Hammie.
(C S Lewis is not amused)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA….
I laughed so hard I dropped my Golden Compass on my Jumanji board.
It’s a low-budget prawno version of Narnia! Aghhhh!
Rule 34.
And yes, there is an x-rated, poorly written fan-fiction about Peter and Aslan’s lurid adventures.
Feel free to help yourself to this complimentary vat of boiling brain bleach.
**sticks head in Brain Bleach.**
Now, what I’m curious about is why you know this, and know it well enough to judge the quality of writing?
I’m a fan of the Edmund and Caspian slash fic, myself.*
*This may not actually be true. Seriously, can you believe anything a poncho-wearing robot moose tells you?
I am a connesour of all things base and horrible. Plus there was a website (gone now 🙁 ) devoted to making fun of god awful fan fic. They had an x-rated section where they would just post a link to the “bad-fic” then allow the commenters to go wild on it.
The Peter/Aslan fic was one of the least disturbing. The Harry/Snape/Dumbledore fic was among the worst.
**Astrosplode**
Now look what you’ve done! To get that out of my mind, I’m going to need to reset to factory specifications by dividing by zer
The order that I posted those three was the layering of their sandwich, by the way.
*Runs to get outside of the blast radius.*
Taco — I thought you were talking about the “Scary Movie” series (not that I’ve every seen any of them.
Astro skip these is you haven’t already seen them. Definitely not appropriate. My daughter and I were renting a movie the other day. This kid (may 10 or 11) picked up Scary Movie, along with here friends, to watch at a sleep over. She looked at me and asked if her mom would let her get that (no I didn’t even know that kid). I told her “I certainly hope not!!!”.
The Scary Movie series is too base and horrible even for my taste.
I perfer things that are unintentionally horrible rather than things that are horrible in a misguided attempt to be funny.
I only ever saw the first Scary Movie. That was enough to remind me that the movie industry hasn’t produced a movie that could be considered remotely funny since 1993*.
*This is of course not counting animated and CG movies which seem to be the only things capable of producing actual humor rather than unfunny sex and drug jokes punctuated by swearing.
*Shakes cane*
Which 1993 movie are you talking of?
Robin Hood: Men in Tights.
The last* movie released by Mel Brooks.
*Technically he released the Producers more recently, but it was a re-release of the film/play from 1968, so I don’t count it as a new movie. Granted I enjoy both the classic and the new version very much. In fact the new version is the only movie that I actually like Will Ferrel in. It seems he is more suited to supporting roles than he is lead roles.
Agh! Will Ferrel? He’s made some stupid movies. For example, Land of the Lost may be the single stupidest movie I’ve ever seen. The only thing I like about him is that down by the auxiliary gyms at school, there’s a picture of him in a Cary skullcap. Apparently, he’s a fan of Cary High School Wrestling.
As I said, I hate him in EVERYTHING that he’s done aside from The Producers.
The reason I liked him in the Producers is that he wasn’t playing “Will Ferrel” in “Something with Will Ferrel in it” as he usually does.
I chalk it up to Mel Brooks being a good influence on him… and possibly hitting him with a stick whenever he tries to be Will Ferrel.
Also as far as sheer stupidity and unwatchablilty goes, “Land of the Lost” is way more viewable and enjoyable than “Old School.” Old school was one of the worst things that happened to me since… “Scary Movie.”
Mel Brooks is genius. I loved “Robin Hood”…”we’re men, men in tights! tight tights!”
However, my all time MB fav is “Young Frankenstein” of course. Saw it on a date waaaaaaaay back when, and nearly peed myself laughing. I still have that reaction every time I watch it, and OFTEN quote it.
“Sed-a-give?!” One of the best lines…that and “Abby-something.” <<<use that one ALL the time..
Okay, I'll stop gushing…
Back to screenwriters writing what they know, and all they know is only a week old. So the movies turn into “cartoons” about other movies. So that even the serious movies wind up pointlessly satirical, and not even to a dark-humor end.
QT’s silly movie last summer because, apparently “Dirty Dozen” did not have enough industry inside jokes or pointless violence and had far too much historical accuracy for the h’wood hipsters (even to the point of having an obvious misspelling in the title).
So, it’s almost easier to skip the ‘real’ movie, and wait for the parody movie on cable. The parody lets you skip 7 or 8 otherwise wasted movie tix, and you need not worry if you have to stop and make supper, entertain your neighbors, have a tornado knock over nearby houses, it’s not like the plot line will be hard to pick up again.
Contrast that to Airplane!, which was a carefully constructed humorous device using the best of the campiness contained in the “airline disaster” movie genre from the 50-60s. Which they managed to toss out the window for Airplane 2.
Now visualizing shrimp porn…
It’s remarkably boring.
Bow chicka bow-wow.
Ummm…
That’s not something I ever expected to see. Shrimp Pr0n. (Haha. Puns.)
Kae, this comment gets funnier everytime I read it. Probably because of your avatar. Accept an invisible door since I’m not java enabled.
I fully agree with christina, but would like to ask OH GOD WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY IS THAT???
Looks like the Fiji Mermaid (X-Files version) to me, but I have Sci-Fi on the brain atm. Either way, he/she/it’s creeping me out in an “I will be in your dreams tonight, and on your ceiling, too” kind of way.
The Not.A.Lion, the Reflectopornstarlett and the Wardrobe?
It’s the ghost of the hooker who was killed in that very room!!!
I heard she walked into a door…
a door for you Meredith!
Ok, the reference winged by my head so fast that I missed it. Tell me again, please.
Okay peoples [sic]. Home stretch. I’m supposed to relax today, so that’s what I’ll be doing…out by the pool. 🙂
I just want to say you guys have been really great this whole time. Not just with the encouragement, but with the humor and stress relief too. I meant to go on hiatus from this site a couple weeks ago, but I couldn’t stay away. Some days it was the only thing keeping me sane. Eventually I just decided that if I was going to take a break, which was often necessary, it may as well be to stop by here. So, anyway, what I’m saying is, I’m glad I decided to join the commenting community when I did. Distraction aside, I’m not sure I would have gotten through these past two months without you all.
:melodramatically pretends to wipe away a tear:
Okay, little emotional moment over. I’m going to finish my coffee then head out to the pool. I’ll have my iPhone, so I might stop by while poolside, but my comments won’t be nesting. Obviously I won’t be here tomorrow or Thursday, so if I’m not back later today, I’ll see you on the other side. Probably hungover.
Happy TRRRRAAAAAILLLLSSSS tooo YOUUUUUUU, until we meet again…..
Good luck, and may the snark
forcebe with you, always.GOOOOOOD LUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!
May you limbo easily under that bar [exam]!
Best of luck to you, my friend.
All good wishes … see you back in the world.
Good thoughts, good luck, and watch out for the questions about vintage cereals and intellectual property rights lest you give yourself over to fits of uncontrollable giggles…not sayin’ that’ll happen…but it’d be funny if it did…
Srsly…best wishes….
Goooood Luuuccckkkkk!!!!!
Best of luck, Bridgete! We’re all rooting for you!
*pictures our motley crew of tacos, kitties, poncho moose, daleks, fractals (irregular or otherwise), people in real or cartoon format, llamanuns and ostrimu in cheerleading garb and promptly gets the giggles*
The cheerleading may not be great, but I assure you, the YSaC Marching Band Halftime Show is worth the price of admission.
Our show this year is “Still Not.A.Lion.”, featuring the theme from Not.A.Lion. King, In the Jungle (The Not.A.Lion. Sleeps Tonight), Eye of the Not.A.Lion., and Crack Brick House (as popularized by Not.A.Lionel. Ritchie).
Does the halftime show start like this:
Overture
Curtains, lights [cut the lights?]
This is it
The night of nights…
… On with the show this is it!
*carrot nibbling*
“Aaaah, whazzup doc?”
Best wishes, Bridgete.
Good luck, Bridgete! Just let us know where and when the celebratory margarita bash will be.
Some poor unsuspecting bar in Boston, Thursday night. Look for the one overflowing with a few hundred people who look like they’re all trying to drink away the same experience. We’ll probably be rather haggard-looking and pale from being indoors all summer. Except me, since I went to the pool today.
Much love and may your #2 pencils always be sharp!
Break a leg, Bridgete! (Errr…unless you actually do and you decide to sue me for the suggestion. In which case…legs whole! Legs whole!)
Do fantastically! Try to remember at least three-quarters of what you’ve learned in the last 4 years or so 🙂
Father Guido Sarducci degree — 5 years later!
Best of luck, we all know you can do it.
Good luck Bridgete!!
*Oh, and tomorrow morning, to speed you on your way: The coffee pot’s in the freezer, your socks are under the kitchen sink, the car keys are in your hand and your sunglasses are on your head.
I nearly choked laughing at this one. Well played.
Oh good. I was worried about all that. Except the socks. I don’t need socks in July.
The very best Grampdaddy wishes for a fantastic job tomorrow and Thursday! You want to borrow my cane to shake at the rowdy folks at the bar exam? Or Lola’s flash – I hear you can get free refills at the bar….
Will be thinking of you Bridgete.
*Flask. Flask. I don’t think Bridgete has need of animating software, mine or anyone else’s.
The flask, however? Totally welcome to it.
Knowing (well, as much as one can know anyone else online) Grampdaddy, I don’t think he meant anything even remotely related to computers.
Astro, I didn’t either, but best to nip some things right in the bud.
Ooooh – I think my typing got Taco’ed!
Probably best if none of us flash Bridgete right now – computer-related or otherwise.
”2 DOOR WARDROBE”
I can’t keep up with the kids these days, is this some kind of euphemism?
I think it’s like shoulder-knees.
Yes, it means you can enter in the front or the back.
Ewwwwww. Line. Crossed.
That’s not what I’ve been called….unless “wardrobe” sounds like….nope, doesn’t sound anything like “sl…nevermind.
I’m getting the feeling that there was never really a line at all.
Oh Laurel… there never, never, never was a REAL line. Plato would even admit to that.
Well, recall that a line only has expression in two dimensions, in a three (spatial) dimensional world the only truly “cross/!ORnon-crossable” lines are those with three dimensions.
If the catulator has tossed Schrödinger’s skeins about, and we have to deal with 7 to 11 spatial dimensions, then it’s better just to assume the lines are like strings and just inter-twine all.
The rest is all topological math, which, like theoretical physics, makes Grigori’s head hurt.
PONCHO!!!!!!
*sings* Poncho, Poncho Moose! I’m going to be your Ponco Moose!
That’s it. Ponco robot moose. This apocalypse is ON!
Hurray!!!
I had the picture set to a PG rating, since it’s a little much for small children. Apparently this site is set for G only. (Yeah, right).
Oh, and if you would like your moose to have a quality frame:
http://i28.tinypic.com/nd4ygn.jpg
Oooooh, now I’m all fancy-schmancy!
Or maybe now.
Edit: or maybe not. Whatever.
Pst! Clear your cache! It’s showing up for me!
Got it!
If shoulder knees are rated G, then Poncho Moose should be as well. Although you are a little unnerving, what with your all-too-cheerful smile…
…Wait a minute…
Everyone run! It’s a trap! *Ponchosplode!!!*
Christina, I’ve been meaning to ask you…
Is you avatar smoking an ear bong?
I didn’t know that it was legal for bronze, shirtless statue children to intake tabacco aurally.
Tobacco?
I see…*He said through squinty eyes*
Sorpy, I dom’t knaw whad I wus thenking.
Hamcan, the correct tem is “ear water pipe” and as Astrognash pointed out, ear water pipes are strictly for tobacco use only.
Personally, I love this pic, it’s probably the best of the 700+ pctures that I took in Paris. I considered a couple of Roman sculptures but ear water pipes were more G rated than not-so-massive links.
Ear bong sounds cooler…
Ear hookah is almost as good though.
Wait, it really is for tobacco?
It’s a shell, a conch, I believe.
[life lessons corey] Astro, there are stores, usually in the seedier parts of college towns, that you must be at least 18 to go into. They sell bongs, but selling bongs is illegal since bongs are used to smoke weed which makes them “paraphanilia”, which I probably speeled rong. As such, these stores sell “Water pipes” and have signs all over the store to let patrons know that “water pipes” are for use with tobacco only. [/corey]
Sorry for crushing your innocence 🙁
I love stores that sell water pipes. The people in there are always so friendly and laid back and everything is so colorful and artsy and they tend to have funny tee shirts. Then again, ours aren’t always in the seedy parts of town since we have voted to allow herbal remedies by prescription. Still, the “tobacco use only” signs persist and everyone is very discreet in how they speak of their planned usage of said equipment.
Then again, I also go into pron shops when I am depressed because the packaging of their wares is always good for a giggle. It’s so… ridiculously over-the-top. My brain makes happy laughing chemicals and then I feel better.
You just created Disneyland for all those louse.
The louse are loose on the poncho moose!
The louse are loose on the poncho moose!
Up and down and in his caboose!
He can no longer take this kind of abuse!
He tries to sluice them off with some juice;
He calls on the awesome power of Zeus;
He crochets a very tiny noose;
But nothing works, until…
He meets Bruce.
Bruce is gambler, his nickname is Deuce;
And he calls on the louse to make a truce.
But they continue with their horrid use
(of the moose)
Until Bruce sends in his secret attack goose, Roose.
And Roose makes those louse permanently vamoose!
Ring around the rosey
A pocket full of posies
Ashes, ashes
The Black Death
makes the poncho moose fall down.
The moose! The moose! The moose is on fire!
Yipppeeee!!!!
LRC, I hate to do this, and lord knows I have no Isaac/Bridgete cred, but Poncho became Ponco about half way through your song. To be fair, I only just now noticed.
Bwahahahaha!!!! Awesome!
Stupid work computer and it’s lack of Firefox.
I hereby accept your Isaac/Bridgete, Christina.
[Isaac]And is lack of Firefox?[/Isaac]
Oh, fiddlesticks. I’m going to bed. Na’night, YSaC!
[unnested poolside comment] This is to Taco’s childhood corey. I never liked the sugar cereals. I don’t know if I was ever offered chocolate cake for breakfast, but I doubt I would have accepted. I liked Kix and Cheerios. As for snacks, given the choice between fruit and candy, I chose fruit. And my Halloween candy lasted until Christmas, not because my parents limited my access, but because I just didn’t eat it that fast. The only candy I consumed with even a hint of excessive speed is those cadbury mini eggs. The chocolate with the candy shell, not those disgusting creme egg things. [/unnested poolside comment]
My Halloween Candy usually lasted past Christmas, but that’s just because I’m not fond of the lollipops.
All the tootsie rolls were gone within two days, though. I used to get so upset when we had recently moved into the neighborhood and my parents would take away all the ones which were wrapped in the normal way, with the twisty ends.
That was too good Bridgete. All it needed was Fractured Fairy Tales music playing in the background.
Although I have to admit that my Halloween candy lasted well into Easter and we were giving out jelly beans for trick or treat.
Peeps we enj0yed on s’mores for the July 4th camp out. But alas, they leave something to be desired when paired with graham crackers and chocolate.
Shall I share the disturbing mental image that has given me? I think I shall.
Meej and GrahamT on a slab of chocolate.
Disturbing? Yes!
Awesome? Yes, because it’s disturbing!
That was the icing on my chocolate cake today AstroCos. Bravo, young man!
*golf clap*
He… I… But… Aagh!
*peepsplode*
Hmm… I have 5 brothers and 1 sister… I didn’t know what leftover candy was until I moved away.
/Complete and total tangent Corey/
http://mthruf.com/2010/07/27/job-fails-that-we-know/
When you read the first thing on the list, you’ll know why it’s here.
/End complete and total tangent Corey/
Bwa-ha! When I saw that in my RSS feed, I giggled a little bit, but I couldn’t remember why…
People don’t steal my food at work anymore.
Why?
I have an amazing tolerance for spicy food and having spicy food tolerance is rare in Wisconsin.
I created my own home-made mustard using a bottle of spicy brown mustard and 1/4 cup habenero powder (The real stuff, not the stuff you get from the supermarket that is really made from 90% Jalapeño). This created a mustard that was analogous to Dave’s Insanity Sauce, which is something I can eat without much issue but will drop most of the people I work with.
I ate sandwiches with this mustard on it for about a week and a half before my lunch went missing mid-morning. Fast forward 3 hours. One of the janitors in our area ends up in Employee Health because he can’t get the burning in his mouth to stop and is having trouble with his stomach. Apparently he had made it about 3/4 of the way through the sandwich before it hit him.
We both go before the resolution committee. I’m carrying complaints from about a dozen co-workers about lunch theft and he’s accusing me of booby-trapping my lunch (which I was technically guilty of). I proved that I had intended to eat my lunch by consuming a full tablespoon of the mustard in front of the committee without issue. I offered to let anyone else in the room taste it to prove it was the same mustard. The janitor, convinced I was using a different mustard, gladly consumed a half full tablespoon to prove I was lying. He ended up in Employee Health again and was slapped with a 2 week suspension for theft from co-workers.
Elebenty doors for Taco!
Both for the tasty sandwiches and for the totally innocent* spiking of a food-thief’s wheels.
*This may not be true. If it is, it is surely a first.
I should note that while I did create the mustard for catching the lunch hooligan I ended up addicted to the stuff.
I started putting it on all kinds of stuff. I was sad when I ran out. For some reason I’ve never made the mustard again.
Hmmm *Adds mustard and habenero powder to shopping list*
Ah. In reading the original story, I did not understand that the mustard was created for the express purpose of outing the thief. I must then amend my previous footnote to read “*Totally not true.”
Still awesome, though.
Bravo, Taco!
Taco, a door and many more for this. I love it when workplace food thieves get comeuppance.
… having spicy food tolerance is rare in Wisconsin.
All I can do is picture David Attenborough whispering low to bring us all closer:
“…to observe some of the exotic wildlife that are known as the Homo sapien sapiens species that are indigenous to the midwest wilds of Wisconsin. They subsist solely on a bland diet of cheese, meatloaf and fermented hops. Spicy foods upset the delicate balance of the ecosystem known as the Serengwaukee Plain…”
This. Is. Awesome.
My husband liked to keep a jug of iced tea at work and it kept disappearing. He made a jug with Skoal Bandits. He also once took leftover pizza, lifted the cheese and squirted dish soap all over the crust and replaced the toppings. I think his food was left alone after that.
Taco, I think I’m falling in love with you. (And secretly glad Moira loves me the most.)
That. Is. Awesome. Last summer there was a rash of food thefts at my work. About half the time, I would put a yogurt or soda, labeled in multiple places with my initials, in the breakroom fridge when I got to work. By the time I wanted them that afternoon, they were gone. I actually got pretty emotional a couple times because I was hugely pregnant and my food was getting stolen! My supervisor told me to write “Mike” on all my food, becuase there were 3 people in the company named Mike, and one was the CEO… The food theft stopped (at least of my stuff) almost immediately 😀
[/workplace food corey]Years ago I worked in a cubicle farm. There were about 40 of us and the break room was in a separate part of the building. It had a keypad and we all had the code, so no one outside our company could get in. One day I come in, boot up my computer, bring up the e-mail to find a message to EVERYONE in the COMPANY from *MISTY about her MISSING LUNCH. She was furious and went on and on and on…and on…about her missing lunch and the fiery depths of Hell that awaited the culprit. I rarely visited the break room, only was vaguely aware of Misty, and so ignored the diatribe. The next day I come to work bring up e-mail and again there’s a long message from Misty. This time she’s apologetic, no her lunch is still MIA but she’s sorry for the outburst and proceeds to tell EVERYONE in the company that she’s been recently medicated for depression, is PMSing, and well…she’s really sorry about her near-homicidal behavior of late.
And, by the way, she’s brought an enormous chocolate cake for us to partake of…and it’s in the break room…
Homicidal bee-yotch + missing lunch + chocolate cake as peace offering = shenanigans
Needless to say I passed on the cake…as did just about everyone else..
Sigh…sometimes I miss like on the cubicle farm if for no other reason than the hilarity.[/end workplace food corey]
*Name changed to protect the crazy.
CJ — I call shenanigans on the name change… I know a ‘Misty’… and she’s pretty psycho….I think the moniker does a poor job of holding in the crazy.
I work in a cubicle farm… soon to be without walls (woe is me), and the only lunches that come up missing are those that have been left in the fridge for more than a week, and get tossed when the fridge is cleaned. But someday, I want an excuse to try the hot mustard. Justice is a burning from the inside out and feels like embarrassment.
I think it feels a little like “poosplode” too.
The mustard trick would not work here. My company has a very different demographic – i.e. 70% of our employees GREW UP on very spicy foods. I’m going to keep it in mind for a couple years down the road when I’m part of a different group, though.
I keep a close watch on this snark of mine
I keep my mouth wide open all the time.
I keep the bleach out for the one that blinds
Because you’re a meme,
I crossed the line
I find it very, very easy to be rude
I want to be in the box when each day is through
Yes, I’ll admit Bob is a fool
Because you’re a meme,
I crossed the line
As sure as Taco has snark and Capn’ has it right
I’ll keep your mind on bleach both day and night
And weirdness I’ve known proves that it’s right
Because you’re a meme,
I crossed the line
You’ve got a way to keep me really snide
You give me cause for jokes I can abide
For you I know a hors I’d even ride
Because you’re a meme,
I crossed the line
Johnny Cash FTW!
Great. There goes my chance of being in the box tomorrow for my moose/louse/Seussian poem. *sulks*
It’s days like this that I’m glad I don’t have to make the decision of picking out a post. Y’all are the reason I need to use my inhaler and bring two sets of clothes to work.
Making me laugh too hard, and also why I need a new keyboard…
No snark from me today. Real life has involved such things as a friend having an emergency c-section at only 26 weeks due to major pregnancy complications and such. (So far little baby boy is hanging tough but 14 weeks early and not yet 2 pounds is a rough start in life. Kind thoughts, crossed fingers, or prayers to the higher power of your choice are all welcome.) I just wanted to thank you all for making me laugh hysterically as a very looong day winds down. The tangents today have been particularly good for my soul. (Many memories of listening to Cosby on vinyl at my grandparents’ every weekend and the like.) You’re all bonkers and that’s why I like you!
*gets out the oboe*
Ok, now what was that about the halftime show?
Good thoughts from Down Under Manda – premie babies are scary, but end up being way tougher than we give them credit for.
Arohanui.
Yes, plenty of good thoughts and healing prayers for the family.
My thoughts are with your friend and her baby, Manda. Jen’s right, just because a baby is born early doesn’t mean they won’t grow up big and strong.
Absolutely – one of the liveliest guys I know was a very early baby, not much more than two pounds, about 30 years ago … technology wasn’t what it is now, obviously, and he stayed at the hospital long after his mother could leave, but he not only made it, he’s a totally normal adult with a child of his own. I wish your friend and her family the best.
The toughest cookie I know is my little cousin, Samantha, and she was born premature. You should see her climb and run and roughhouse.
I know. And modern medicine is pretty amazing. 14 weeks early is just mind-boggling to me. My mama heart breaks just thinking about it. Hoping for all the best!
All blessings on the little guy and may Mama sing him to sleep in his own bed soon. If you have any photos to post of him on Facebook, I will be better able to visualize protective white light around him. And hugs to you too, for your care and concern. You know how tough the road is for any mom, and your empathy can heal many hurts.
Thanks all! Little Levi arrived weighing in at 2lbs 4oz and is 14 inches long. He has a long road ahead and I know it is going to be very hard on his mom as well. I can barely begin to imagine how she is handling this. I was blessed with 3 healthy, full-term babies and that was shocking enough.
Windrose, I did just comment on one of the few pictures she has of him, but I’m not sure if it will show on my FB page or not (sometimes the pics do, sometimes they don’t.)
Best wishes to your friend and her baby, and keep us updated.
Best wishes to all of them. My dad was a premie, 65 years ago. He grew up to be 6′ 2″.
Love and best wishes to the family.
Taco is in the box. It’s so hard to believe, that after all these days, he’s back in the box. 8)
Does that mean that today it’s a Taco Box, just for him?
I always wondered what they were beeping out…Taco!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhwbxEfy7fg
I taw I taw a putty-tat!
I did! I did!
Thufferin’ thuccotath!
*oops.. wrong avie*
Does the skeleton key come with a real skeleton?
Their spines make good back-scratchers.
Um,
I hear.
Who would possibly give this wardrobe 2 doors? It hasn’t even said anything funny.
Taco, the most punched commentor around. You are undoubtedly punch drunk by now. Punchity Punch Punch!
G’Night, Narnia!
I’m fine, I can take another punch! Really! Put me in coach, I’m ready to play.
*Staggers off singing about the little goblin*
I’m totally stunned that “Reflectoporn” has its own Wikipedia entry!! What next? Separate articles for every nickname of the genitals?!
No, that’s what the Urban Dictionary is for.
I know. I was being sarcastic…