YSaC, Vol. 745: Massage in a bottle.
trade my stuff for a message
trade misc stuff for a message.
digi camera random stuff let me know
I would love to provide you with a message. I will give you a very deep message that will leave you in awe of my message technique. Of course, my message will also involve kicking you in the shins and saying, “Here’s my message: learn how to spell!”
Perhaps you would prefer a message from these people instead? Yeah, that might be a wise choice:
Message Table – $80
this is a lightly used table. it comes with bolster and head pillow.dementions are 6′ long and 30″ wide
What message is this table trying to convey? I mean, other than, “Jumping Clothespin Jesus, that’s a really purple table.”
There were two other pictures of the message table, but really, how many pictures of a purple dementional message table does one really need?
Thanks, Tonya and Ted!
Message: Al Gore call your office………
Giggling ‘crazed sex poodle’* on Line 1.
*I think Al is really a Man-Bear-Poodle
So he would be a maroodle?
Probably more like a werepoodle…
Are we back to poodle spoodle canoodling?
If I were more artistic I’d draw you a poodle spoodle canoodle doodle.
I’m not sure artistic skills are needed for that.
I think all you need for that is some of whatever your local neighborhood druggies are smoking.
Right now they appear to be smoking meat, probably of the beef or pork variety.
OT rant: Seriously, how is it that a family of redneck meth heads who can’t afford to replace a broken roof or window can have a top of the line meat smoker in their front yard?
Know what the is hardest part about smoking fish?
Keeping it lit.
These tables used to belong to the Swedish Ambassador!
Demention-[v]-to forget you ever said anything about it.
Sounds a bit like Bacontini-speak to me: “Bacontini forgot demention dat his message is for da ladies.”
Is that like Vuja de? You know, the feeling that you never
want that to happen again?
I read it wrong at first, and I thought it was “demon-tion.” It does kinda look like a demon table, though. That purple looks pretty suspicious.
Let me just lay down on the message table over here and see if I have a message for you, Sparky. Let’s see…zzzzzzzzzzz….
*wakes with a start*
I have been given a message for you, Sparky: You are an asshat!
That’ll be all your random crap and $2. Thank you! Come again!
Will the glaringly purple table message me by itself or do I have to have a contract with a service provider first?
Wait a second…
:checks cell phone:
Hey, it vibrates when I get a message! What does the table do?
I vote for the same thing as the cell phone.
What?
A table that vibrates every time I get a message…
Gee, I hope no one calls during dinner time. That could get messy.
“I’ll have what she’s having.”
that message table seems a little demented…
and by “a little” demented, I mean 6′ x 30″….
damn this is hard on a sunday at 7am.
arrrgh west coast time zone…. coffee zomb…
I think the “demented” table comes with a possessed doll. “You want a message, I’ll give you a message! Take your clothes off! Lay down! Now! For the love of god, cover yourself with a towel – you think I want to see that?”
“Now, here’s your message: You are pond scum. You aren’t worth two $20.00 bikes for $50.00. You have no minty shell. That’ll cost you all your stuff. Thank you and have a nice day.”
How about three $30 chairs for $100?
Alas! I have a message for this fellow:
Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
Oh, I do love that shade of purple!
That’s delightfully vague, Sparky. Oh so delightfully vague. I think I’ll take your car, your house, oh, and your toaster, too. Do you have a laptop? Throw that in as well. Okay, now for your message:
Hi.
[Matt] Now, come on. Clearly Sparky #1 has no friends and just wants someone to talk to him. This is an amazing deal! Send Sparky a few messages, pretend to be his friend, and get a camera! I can’t believe you all are making fun of this poor soul. [/Matt]
I have a message for Sparky:
-.– — ..- / .- .-. . / .- -. / .- … … …. .- –
.– . .-.. .-.. / … .- .. -..
.-.. — .-..
... –. .– .–. –.– .. ... ..–. .–.. ––– .–– .. –. ––. ––– ..– – .–.. .. –.– . ...– .. –. – .– ––. . –.–. .–. .. ... –.–. ––– .. –. – ––– .– .––. .– .––. . .–. –.–. ..– .––. ––..–– .. – ––. .. ––. ––. .–.. . ... .– ... .. – .––. .– ... ... . ... ––..–– .. – ... .–.. .. .––. ... .– .–– .– –.–– .– –.–. .–. ––– ... ... – .... . ..– –. .. ...– . .–. ... . .–.–.– .––. ––– ––– .–.. ... ––– ..–. –... .–.. ..– –... .–.. . ... ––..–– .–– .– ...– . ... ––– ..–. .... ––– .–. ... ––..–– .– .–. . –.. .–. .. ..–. – .. –. ––. – .... .–. ––– ..– ––. .... –– –.–– –.. .. .–. – –.–– –– .. –. –.. ––..–– .––. ––– ... ... . ... ... .. –. ––. –– . .–.. .. –.– . .– ... .– –.. .. ... – .. –.–. –.. ––– .–.. .–.. .–.–.– .––– .– .. ––. ..– .–. ..– –.. . ...– .– ––..–– ––– –– .–.–.– –. ––– – .... .. –. ––. .––––. ... ––. ––– –. –. .– –.–. .... .– –. ––. . –– –.–– ... –. .– .–. –.– ––..–– –. ––– – .... .. –. ––. .––––. ... ––. ––– –. –. .– –.–. .... .– –. ––. . –– –.–– ... –. .– .–. –.– .–.–.–
My apologies to both The Beatles and Mr. Morse.
Also, I forgot the slashes, and I used the ASCII codes so that the multiple dashes wouldn’t blend and the dots in groups of 3 wouldn’t become ellipses, so I’m not sure where I should put them at this point.
Astro, none of the translators I found liked your ASCII dashes, so I had to go through and replace each with -. Once I did that, there was still a bit that translated to gibberish. The rest looked good. : )
What is “digi camera random stuff” anyway? I think sparky’s trying to unload some useless power cords and set up discs that came with cameras that he no longer has.
If I could save Sparky in a bottle
The first thing that I’d like to do
Is fill it with formaldehyde till he passes away
Just to send him a message or two
If I could make Sparky go to a tutor
If words he could learn to spell true
I’d save lots of snarks, but would have no fun, then
Again, I would send him to school
But there never seems to be enough time
To learn the things you need to, so a dunce you find then
I’ve looked around enough to know
That Sparkys the one I want drown forthwith
If I had a table just for messages
Colored purple, that makes my dream come true
The table would be empty except for the messages
Of how they were massaged by you
But there never seems to be enough time
To learn the things you need to, so a dunce you find then
I’ve looked around enough to know
That Sparkys the one I want drown forthwith
That was my wedding song, and you’ve killed it!!
Now I have to get divorced and try again. Da@*& it.
I prefer my dementions a little under 6′. I mean, I need to know the memory problems are at least scalable. How am I supposed to get over 6 feet of forgetting?
And this is why I’m glad my husband doesn’t read comments here. I’m six feet tall and tend to forget at least half the stuff I went to the store for. I’m sure he’d adopt “Six feet of forgetting” as a nickname for me.
6 Feet of Forgetting–band name? Or song title?
It’s a good band name, certainly, but I think it’s a winning song title, so I vote for that.
If he/she gave massages as well as they spelled, is it any wonder its for sale?
And now a very brief snippet of something I’ve been working on with The Police*
I’ll send an sfss to the world,
I’ll send an sfss to the world,
I hope that someone gives me,
I hope that someone gives me,
A message on The Table yeah…
A message on The Table
*This is definitely not true and my apologies.
Nice
🙂
😀 Love it!
So ad #2’s Sparky or Sparkette is a messeuse? Wouldn’t that be like a secretary in our demention?
I thought a messeuse was a Fronch Providential wife?
The massage table photos look like an abandoned house being used by a serial killer.
A FABULOUS one!
here’s the message: your call is important to us. all our operators are busy right now. your waiting time is 58 minutes. good luck in the new demension. lalalalalalalllllllaaaaaaa….
Ok, Sparky 1, a message:
“Corpen Mike 135 Speed; break, Form P3 SubDiv 055; break, Turn Baker Tango 091; break, Interrog Whiskey Inca Delta; Break, EOM”
Hmmm, “digi camera” is this a recording device with digits? A record of a palpitation of some sort?
[architecture & construction corey] For some reason, the only word more commonly misspelt than “fluorescent” (as some form of “flour…”) seems to be poor “dimension.” The “e” gets given away (no doubt in excess) to Bridgete; the “s” becomes a “t” or multiple “s’s”; even the last “i” wanders off like Lawrence of Arabia, to turn up equally unexpectedly elsewhere.
Ah, such is life; almost worse for having spell check . . .
[/corey]
Skilled masseuse would be nice today, would be exquisitely fed, too.
So does this table ward off dementors or attract them? Because that’s important to know!
It doesn’t matter what it does so long as you have chocolate!
I guess that depends on whether dementors think purple is a happy color or a disparing color. Now a chocolate table…wait, nevermind, this is YSaC, something tells me a chocolate table would have the same sugary innocence that it does in my mind right now.
Well, I love purple, so I guess I don’t have to worry about dementors when on that table. Whew, that’s so much easier than conjuring a Patronus, especially seeing as I’m a Muggle.
Many hours later edit: would not have.
Alas! I think it depends on whether or not the message is for them. Just remember, you ha…
ooh, chocolate!
I thought you liked lemon drops and/or licorice snaps?
On another note, would you like a jelly baby?
Alas! One can enjoy a wide menagerie of sweets, and, being dead for the past 13 years, I no longer have to worry about my teeth!’
A Kool-Aid purple message table doesn’t really seem conducive to relaxation, regardless of what its dementions are.
I wonder if dimensional tables are bigger on the inside…
(I’m quite sure dementional tables aren’t.)
OT — OMG BUNNIES! Hehehe. My son surprised a baby cotton tail in the side yard. I know we have had skunks, we had a baby possum trap itself in the cat shed, and no doubt we have raccoons around, but this is the first evidence of bunnies in the 8 years we have lived here. 8)
So this table is from the 6th demention? Is that where elder gods or younger gods dwell? What message would they send, and could our fragile minds hear it, or would they shatter into tiny shards of quivering frightened jello?
11 pm EDST, and we haven’t even hit 60 comments. I’ve been around most of the day, after a few days of being busy and missing lots of snarking. Figures.
G’night, and I hope to see everyone tomorrow!
2234 CDT and about the same as before. Some “message” has leaked through some rent in the Force or Ethers or Branes. The Houston PBS station is not playing Eastenders, but is showing a program on the 2004 hurricane season in Florida–ah “Anatomy of a Hurricane.” Which is odd, since I’m used to needing passion fruit juice to properly assemble a hurricane, and they have not even juiced a lime yet. To further confuse, KUHT’s online schedule agrees that Eastenders 2543 ought be on–instead, it’s a rebroadcast of Saturday’s Austin City Limits.
O, the purple demention! Perhaps the stuff Sparky wants to trade is second-hand possessed doll property from the basement of a rental property in the mountains of Central Florida . . . aiaiaiaieieieieieieeieieeeeeee
I guess the new schedule didn’t get to everyone. Monday through Thursday, guaranteed 200 comments, depending on the topic it can climb to 400. And one word from the Llama-nun, it could reach to a thousand! Friday, pretty good during the workday, but as quitting time hits the east coast, and slowly travels across to to the left, things slow way down.
Saturday and Sunday, pretty slow. Some of us have obligations, don’t you know. So this has been pretty typical of a Sunday at YSaC. 8)
No fair, Windrose, some of us have crappy jobs that keep us off the internet during the week 🙁
I concur. I’m all about the early AM posts weekdays, but then “real life” begins. Alas, why can’t I just paint happy trees for a living?
July is finally OVER !
I used to love summer as a kid, but now as an adult… it’s all about getting the obligations completed.
grrr.
I know it’s typical, doesn’t mean I can’t complain about it. My weekday schedule is about to get very busy, so Sunday will be pretty much the only time I can hang around and chat.
sara(hic)jean(hic), delight(hic)ful comment in the (hic) box. (hic). Punchity Punch (hic) punch!
G’night, Sweden!
OK this is the answer Kitty Massage … now what was the question? http://www.wimp.com/kittymassage/
If anyone else is around waiting for the new post, head over to the fora!