YSaC, Vol. 746: Room and boor.

2010 August 2

Room& Board in exchange for babysitting


Looking for mature FEMALE to babysit out child Sunday-Thursday 5P.M. to 11 P.M. In exchange for beautiful furnished room in our large home. You will have access to direct TV, and wireless internet if you have a computer. You will need to provide your own food, as we do not cook or keep food in the house. If interested please call xxx-xxx-xxxx. Pets are not welcome, so please do not ask!

This one doesn’t look so bad at first, but then you start thinking about it … and you realize a few things:

  1. You’ll be watching a kid for 6 hours a day, 5 days a week. That’s 30 hours per week, or roughly 120 hours per month. Even at minimum wage (federal = $7.25/hr), that’s the equivalent of $870 worth of work that you’re doing in exchange for room and board. (The submitter points out that that is at least twice the going rate for a room and board rental in this particular area.)
  2. Oh, did I say board? Oh, right, because the ad says board. However, that usually implies that there’s food involved somehow that is included in the price being quoted. Since these people appear to exist by photosynthesis rather than by engaging in the act of ingesting nutrients, you’ll end up having to pay for your own food — which means that the whole board thing is pretty much a lie.
  3. And, unless their kid doesn’t eat at all between the hours of 5 pm to 11 pm, it looks like you might have to provide food for the kid as well.
  4. Oh look, there’s the asshat tag.

Thanks, Kasia!

147 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 August 2
    Windrose permalink

    Aliens! They must be aliens invading our world via craigslist! That’s why they refer to the kid as “out child” since they hatched it out for this plot. *grabs foil, makes lots of hats*

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 August 2
      Addicted Reader permalink

      Somehow, knowing that the invasion is via CL makes me worry a lot less. Judging by the average intelligence displayed by the posts here, I’m not sure there are enough brains for the aliens to control.

      But I’ll take a tinfoil hat, just in case.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 August 2
        Lola permalink

        AR, your logic has saved me from dashing down to the Duane Reade and seeing if they sell tinfoil. You’re right – if CL is an example, then alien “intelligence” may not be quite what we are fearing.

        I’m going to wear this foil-lined thermal lunchbag on my head when I go outside, though, just to be safe.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 2

          Lola, the best part is that being in NY, no one will give you a second glance.I say do it just for fun!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 2
          Lola permalink

          Christina, there are probably Williamsburg hipsters who are already wearing them.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 2
          Grampdaddy permalink

          And the really good part is that, since it is thermal, it will keep your head cool and fresh from the heat, AND it will keep your hair neatly in place. A nice cool, fresh, minty head.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 August 2

          Hmm, but the hipsters should be wearing PBR beerbox hats, or is that not ironic anymore?
          Mmm, minty head. I have minty shampoo, but somehow when Grampdaddy says “minty head” another product entirely comes to mind.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 2
          Lola permalink

          Thanks, Christina, now I’m thinking about Altoids and urban legends …

          As for PBR beerbox hats, now that you can buy them online they probably aren’t hip enough for hipsters … repurposing one’s lunch bag is probably odd enough, though.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 2
          mudslicker permalink

          Hipsters would wear hats made out of PBR boxes if they were branded by Thule, Nike or North Face.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 2
          LurkRealClose permalink

          Speaking of hipsters, here’s a link to a hipster item on a fun blog that I like called Here’s the Problem.

          Assuming, of course, that I’ve coded that correctly. We may be entering edit mode, folks.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 2
          EclecticBlue permalink

          Hipsters would wear hats made out of PBR boxes if they were branded by Thule, Nike or North Face.

          What about South Butt?

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 2
          mudslicker permalink

          South Butt’s a division of Moleskin so I’m pretty sure hipsters would fully embrace it.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 2
          EclecticBlue permalink

          It’s like a perfect storm! Pretentious poetic name brand AND “irony”!

          Adores: 3
    • 2010 August 2
      tigprincess permalink

      Dear Windrose, can I have a tin hat and a sword as well, please? Pretty please?

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 2
        Windrose permalink

        Everyone gets a free hat today! And tig, for you, I have this pole arm that I stole in Germany.

        Adores: 9
        • 2010 August 2
          Lola permalink

          Well, then, if you’re handing out free hats … I’ll take one.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 2
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          Careful with the free hats. I hear they’re $10 for 3.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 2
          LurkRealClose permalink

          I thought they were for sale, so I could take them for free.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 2

          [insert snark]

          Sorry, I’ve spent most of the day running errands and killing an ant invasion. ONE chip crumb that happened to have fallen next to the outside wall which happened to have a small hole in it. *sigh* Lola, I’ll take that flask now…

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 2

          That was supposed to be much lower…below the actual mention of the flask. Meh.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 2

          A bird Named Windrose passed out hats
          They were worn all of the cats
          Some were ten dollars for three
          Others on sale for free
          While Daleks in tutus stomped ants

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 August 2
        Addicted Reader permalink

        Ooh, sword, good idea! I could do some real damage defend myself effectively with a sword.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 2
          CapnMac permalink

          Everyone gets all serious if I show up with hat and sword (in any of the combinations possible)

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 2

          Everyone gets all serious if I just show up. I don’t know why.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 2
          EclecticBlue permalink

          Well, there’s nothing more flippant than a Dalek in a tutu, so we have to compensate.

          COM-PEEEEEN-SATE!
          (sorry about that :-p)

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 2

          Oh, I see. Next time I go into a room, I’ll tell everyone they needn’t compensate for anything, and we can all be flamboyantly flippant together.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 August 2
          EclecticBlue permalink

          Mmmmm, forbidden flambouyant flippancy…

          I think my snark is broken, I’m bringing out Simpsons jokes.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 2

          *Whips out the re-snarkualtor and zaps Eclectic.

          There, now say something snarky, hurry now…

          *taps foot while jeopardy music plays in background

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 2
          EclecticBlue permalink

          Hurry now…

          That’s what she said?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 2

          Hmmm, I think we need to try something else…

          Lola, the flask!

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 2
          Lola permalink

          *passes flask*

          Adores: 3
    • 2010 August 4

      Oh, I read “babysit out” like “rent out”. As in, they’ll be babysitting the kid out to her, because it’s such a privilege to take care of its needs (and presumably the parents’ sexual needs as well, judging from the emphasis on MATURE FEMALE).

      Adores: 0
  2. 2010 August 2
    Addicted Reader permalink

    5. Most children go to bed sometime between 5 and 11 pm, so this includes putting the kid to bed, which is often less than pleasant.

    So really, these people have some extra space, so they figure they can get someone to feed their child and put him to bed for no real cost to themselves. Asshats, indeed.

    6. Also, it’s somewhat relevant how old this child is!

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 August 2
      Moira permalink

      I’m guessing the child is of an age to have homework. They want someone to “babysit” it (some idea of the child’s gender would have been an appropriate thing to mention) Sunday through Thursday evenings… normal homework nights. They don’t mind having the kid on Friday or Saturday evenings which, if they were just trying to get out to party, would be prime party time.

      But, oh joy, once you do finish helping the kid with their homework and getting it all tucked into bed (with maybe a lullaby or two) you get FREE TIME.

      And who the hell doesn’t “keep food in the house.” How can you not have at least several cans of soup and catsup of dubious provenance? Someone needs to hit them with that Board they aren’t actually providing.

      I’m getting all kinds of asschapeau emanating from this posting.

      Adores: 8
      • 2010 August 2
        mudslicker permalink

        College students still get homework. You may have to feed them and buy a keg on a regular basis.

        Adores: 4
    • 2010 August 2
      CapnMac permalink

      Well, and since the “parents” have no food in the house (let us presume that they dine out, on what, let the snark ensue).

      Now, first case I think of is that there are bugs involved. So, if there are no bugs now, babby-sitter takes the blame.

      Or, {shudder} the place is already infested, then consider the horror for the babby-sitter. (Which would explain the “board,” it’s to smash the bugs . . . )

      {ick}

      Adores: 3
  3. 2010 August 2
    tigprincess permalink

    Would it be naive to ask what they, the parents, would be doing whilst I was out baby-sitting? That’s out in their phraseology since I’d be in at their’s babysitting an out child.
    *I now need to sit down as my brain hurts.*
    *not that I’d think of applying for this slavery / job / board*

    Adores: 3
  4. 2010 August 2

    The ad didn’t specify, but I’m really hoping they’re in Ish cuz I could use a job like this.

    As for the food…no problem, I just have to be in the same room as a chocolate cake and I gain five lbs. so I must be ingesting it through osmosis.

    Adores: 10
    • 2010 August 2
      sarajean80 permalink

      I think I gained a few ounces just reading that.

      Adores: 5
  5. 2010 August 2
    TacoMagic permalink

    So, what do you kids like to eat?

    McDonalds!

    Oh, that’s nice. Anything else?

    What do you mean? Mommy told us McDonalds is the only food. Everyone else ran out.

    That’s just… great.

    Adores: 11
    • 2010 August 2
      MandaB permalink

      My thoughts exactly. And that killed my snark. “French fries are fruit, right?”

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 August 2
        sarajean80 permalink

        French Fries are vegetables, catsup is a fruit.

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 August 2
          Addicted Reader permalink

          I would be very depressed if I didn’t know you were being snarky.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 2
          sarajean80 permalink

          Don’t worry, I am.

          I know catsup is considered a beverage.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 2
          Addicted Reader permalink

          Fruit juice, like OJ.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 2
          TacoMagic permalink

          Why bother with all that when a Big Mac has all 5 food groups! It’s like tasty health food.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 2
          MandaB permalink

          I’m sorry, the correct answer is “Sprite, with all of the lemon-lime fruity goodness every child needs.”

          Taco, we will also accept Big Mac, although it qualifies as more than a fruit.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 2
          mudslicker permalink

          Chicken nuggets = midget chickens = little chickens = eggs – Grade A small

          *can I have some honey mustard sauce to go with my egg white and yolk?*

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 2
          EclecticBlue permalink

          Wasn’t it pizza? I remember it being pizza… (And I didn’t chime in on this conversation earlier, but that’s the argument that my brother and I would always use to try to get our parents to order Pizza [the] Hut.)

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 2

          As I remember, cake is an accepted breakfast menu item.

          (Posting during lunch at Band Camp)

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 2
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Hmmm, according to the Department of Education (I think – might have been FDA) during the Reagan administration, catsup (or ketchup) was considered a vegetable for inclusion in school lunches…

          Should this be considered a [semi-corey]?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 2
          Addicted Reader permalink

          Yes, Gramps.

          I’ve heard that (though I was barely alive at the time).

          As I said above, depressing.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 2
          mudslicker permalink

          Gramps: that ketchup-veggy thing was only a rumor that Andrew Breitbart started. I hear he’s in like flint with the FDA.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 2
          kelli permalink

          [corey] Tomatoes are biologically fruits, but they were classified as vegetables in the United States so they could be taxed [corey]

          *Yay, I remember something from my plant biology class!*

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 2
          mudslicker permalink

          …but are they minty?? Then they could fall under the category of “herb” and could be legally taxed soon in California.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 2
          TacoMagic permalink

          [produce corey]
          Vegetables that are TECHNICALLY fruits:

          Cucumbers, zucchini, squash, tomatoes, peppers, eggplants, and bananas.

          [/produce corey]

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 2
          mudslicker permalink

          Aren’t eggplants dairy? Or maybe chicken nuggets (aka meat)?

          No wonder my food triangle always looks like a polyhedonist.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 August 2
          kelli permalink

          Bananas? I’ve honestly never heard or seen it referred to as a vegetable. The rest I know are fruits, yet are often called vegetables. I had a ten minute argument with a friend of my mother’s because he insisted cucumbers were veggies. His reasoning? They were in a salad.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 2

          Yeah, vegetables usually just lay there and bananas run around flailing their arms in the air.

          What?

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 2
          mudslicker permalink

          I’m with kelli.

          TM, did you mean: Bananas are fruit that are TECHNICALLY a vegetable. Because most people would label them a fruit—I’ve never got into an argument with someone about them being a vegetable—except maybe the V8 Fruit Fusion people.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 2
          mudslicker permalink

          Close the pod bay doors HAM…..your banana is protruding.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 2

          See, told ya I could put up a tent…

          What?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 2
          mudslicker permalink

          Zipping a tent is a whole different animal.

          The noise tends to wake up bears.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 2

          RAWRRRR!

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 2
          sarajean80 permalink

          Pitching a tent in public seems to be a problem for some folk. I think it’s the widespread use of artificial tent-pitching enhancers.

          Can’t anyone pitch a tent the old-fashioned way anymore – with a lot of awkward fumbling, loud cursing, and definitely possibly a massive link amount of alcoholic beverages?

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 August 2

          Well, I for one am willing to give it a try…

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 2

          Ah ha! I knew croutons were vegetables! So is bleu cheese, awesome!

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 2
          TacoMagic permalink

          I tossed bananas in there to stir up trouble. Glad to see my effort paid off :P.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 2
          Windrose permalink

          Mudsy, let’s start our own religon, the Polyhedonists. Carpe Banana!

          Adores: 5
  6. 2010 August 2
    sarajean80 permalink

    So they don’t keep any food in the house, none. Nada.

    Now, I don’t have one of my own, but I have baby-sat my sister’s little hellions precious bundles of joy and one thing I’ve noticed is they like to eat. A lot. Granted, it doesn’t have to be what I would describe as “food”, but they do eat as often as they can get away with it.
    I’m curious as to what Mr. and Ms McSparkcase do whenever their alien pod little darling gets a rumbling in their tumbly – dash out to the food bunker out back, harvest a few pints at the local blood bank, or hit the Taco Bell drive-thru?

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 August 2
      tigprincess permalink

      This has all the promise of an alien horror story with children. Honey I Ate the Kids as a working title? or I Sat On An Alien Baby ? *damn, no, this is the excuse Miss Sparky uses when she gets pregnant*

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 2
        sarajean80 permalink

        “Honey, I swear – it was aliens! They implanted their unnatural seed in my belly!”

        “Well, okay; I believe you, sweetie bunny. It’s just odd how they seem to abduct you every time Hector comes by to clean the pool.”

        Adores: 17
        • 2010 August 2
          Litarider permalink

          Serve up the 3-D alien porn!

          http://www.techeye.net/internet/woman-says-3d-porno-made-her-pregnant

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 2
          sarajean80 permalink

          That made me sad, after I laughed hard enough to worry about my bladder holding.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 2
          Moira permalink

          Oh, Litarider, that is … hilarious (yeah, I’m gonna go with hilarious and ignore that this [crude adjective redacted] female is shamelessly taking advantage of her absent hubby’s trust and gullibility).

          She also claims this was one of the first times she’s watched porn and only went with friends for the 3D effect.

          I can just guess what kind of 3-D she was getting from her friend.

          OTOH, perhaps her hubby wasn’t so credulous, they made up, and now they are both taking us all for a ride. I think I prefer to believe that is the case.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 2
          Moira permalink

          Oh, pooh. Reading the comments, that 3d porn article was taken from one of the “fake news” tabloids that make silly stuff up. Guess I do not have to feel sorry for the husband since he doesn’t exist. ๐Ÿ™‚

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 2

          The husband is a military man, so obviously he’s used to the scheme “don’t ask. just do. no matter how bonkers.” I don’t really think this story’s true, though.

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 2
        nonsensicalcat permalink

        Funny, I was thinking that it must be Mr. Sparky who would like having another FEMALE around… and by “mature” he means he has a thing for older women.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 2
          Addicted Reader permalink

          Or “mature” might just mean “old enough to be legal.”

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 2

          I was thinking more along the lines of ‘has hit puberty.’

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 2
          Addicted Reader permalink

          Laurel, aren’t you a bit young for … something?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 2

          Oi, I’m doing anything! Talk to Sparky, he’s the one looking for mature FEMALES. I’m just gonna sit in my room and bask in the light of my computer screen until my brain finally becomes one with the internet.

          On second thought, that’s not such a good idea. I’ll go outside and practise marching. But no, I’m not doing anything *shudders*

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 2

          Well, which is it? Are you doing anything or not doing anything?

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 2
          Addicted Reader permalink

          Laurel, I meant more along the lines of “too young to know such things.”

          Adores: 0
  7. 2010 August 2

    What kind of board are we talking about here? If they’re just offering some cheap ass warped to hell plywood the forget it. I only neglect kids while surfing the free wifis watch children if they offer up some nice exotic hardwoods.

    Adores: 4
  8. 2010 August 2
    Indigo permalink

    Mr. and Mrs. Sparky don’t list any qualifications other than FEMALE. Does that mean that RuPaul could do this job? That little kid could learn a lot between 5 and 11 pm!

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 August 2
      sarajean80 permalink

      They also have to be “mature”, which pretty much rules me out.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 August 2
        Addicted Reader permalink

        I think it rules out pretty much everyone, since those “mature” enough to know better wouldn’t want the job, and anyone who would want the job they wouldn’t consider “mature”.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 2
          mudslicker permalink

          TRUEBLOOD: “It’s just funny. I never really thought that I was smart enough to get depressed. But, here I am.”

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 2
          CapnMac permalink

          Such an excellent Jason S. line. It was such a devilish episode last night . . .

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 August 2
      Litarider permalink

      I think by typing FEMALE in all caps means they want an Amazon babysitter, who would probably need extra board to keep up her strength.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 2

        No, they just wanted to make sure they were loud enough that very “mature FEMALES” could hear them.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 2
          Windrose permalink

          Eh? What’s that you say, sonny?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 2

          I said, “Munch some TAMALES”

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 2

          Hmmm, that wasn’t meant as an innuendo…
          *Blushes*
          It was an unintenduendo…

          Adores: 6
    • 2010 August 2
      Grampdaddy permalink

      Since RuPaul is really male, does FEMALE actually mean something in code?

      Adores: 0
  9. 2010 August 2
    Sparky permalink

    Hey, I don’t see any problem with this. Have you not read the Twilight saga? A nice vampire family has moved into town. They obviously have to work nights; they can’t go out in the daylight because they sparkle. They all have the appearance of teens, but the younger they claim to be in the beginning, the longer they can stay in an area so, for the sake of appearances, they want to hire someone to watch the 80-year-old “kids.”

    I say go for it! The Cullens’ house is awesome!

    Oh, and Indigo, I don’t appreciate my name being used as an insult. (kidding)

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 August 2
      Addicted Reader permalink

      So maybe the “board” promised in the ad is the babysitter being food *for* the nice vampire family?

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 August 2
      EclecticBlue permalink

      Sorry Sparky, it’s not just Indigo :-p

      On a related note, a couple of my coworkers are talking about Starcraft 2, and apparently one of the sound clips that happens with a certain character is “Keep your pants on, Sparky!” He said he laughed every time he heard it, and he doesn’t even know about YSaC and Sparky McSparkster!

      Adores: 2
  10. 2010 August 2
    Is.An.Avatar permalink

    Free room and board in exchange for picking cotton.

    Contact Colonel Beauregard at Drayton Hall plantation……….

    Adores: 5
  11. 2010 August 2
    TacoMagic permalink

    Hmm. It appears comment editing has broken again. Anyone else having issues?

    EDIT: Except now it seems to be working for this comment.

    Adores: 2
  12. 2010 August 2

    I have a life sized cutout of Bea Arthur that would be perfect for the job.

    Adores: 8
    • 2010 August 2
      Lola permalink

      Perfect indeed – mature, no need for food – or for that matter, sleep or much room at all.

      Adores: 3
    • 2010 August 2
      mudslicker permalink

      Ummmm…no you don’t. You left Bea back at the campsite next to your truck and that white tent you weren’t able to assemble.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 2

        I’ve never had a problem putting up a tent…

        What?

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 2
          mudslicker permalink

          The words “tent” and “Bea Arthur” in the same sentence might make the erection [of said tent] more difficult.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 2

          In the words of the immortal Squiggy, “maybe so, maybe so…”

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 2
          mudslicker permalink

          Squiggy? Is he some sort of character from Spongebob?

          ๐Ÿ™‚

          Adores: 0
  13. 2010 August 2
    LurkRealClose permalink

    This sounds awesome! Free room and boar? I’ve been looking for a boar that I could take to pig roasts, just to walk around and terrify the other guest. Where do I sign up?

    *re-reads* Oh. Nevermind. I can be bored for free at home, and we have food.

    Adores: 7
  14. 2010 August 2


    Out Child is this who came to Craigslist
    looking for a cheap nanny?
    Who doesn’t eat because Sparkys cheap,
    But you can watch direct TV

    Him, him oh sweet clothespin Jebus!
    May poncho lice bite and truck bees sting
    Waste, waste of the air he breathes
    The asshat at least has the internets

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 August 2
      Windrose permalink

      Can’t wait until the stores start playing the Christmas music, because I’ll be singing this one along with it. 8)

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 August 2
      EclecticBlue permalink

      Hamcan, are you documenting these gems somewhere all together? I’d love to put together a YSaC Carols book, if at least for my own nefarious purposes :-p

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 2

        Hmm, no they just spewcome out as I type.
        ๐Ÿ™‚
        Sounds like a job for someone to do on the forum…YSaC song book, there are a lot of really good ones done by other people also, to many to list.

        Adores: 2
  15. 2010 August 2
    Kae permalink

    Basic life theory learned from having crazy roommates: never trust someone who brags that they don’t cook.

    And I do believe the Sparkies left out their second requirement here: not only must you be FEMALE for this gig, you must be DESPERATE.

    Adores: 4
  16. 2010 August 2

    No pets? Well, I can’t take it then. Shoot, and I was really looking forward to caring for your kid for 30 hours a week and wandering about town to beg for food during my off hours.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 August 2
      Windrose permalink

      Carrying your cat with you, no doubt, as Severus needs to eat as well. 8)

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 August 2

        Well, they have harnesses for cats. I’m sure he’d hate it though.

        Adores: 1
  17. 2010 August 2
    nonsensicalcat permalink

    Obviously the board about which they are speaking is in reference to the furnishings in the room, not food products. It’s a beautiful board. It’s also versatile: use it as a desk, a bed, a chair–anything!

    Adores: 8
  18. 2010 August 2
    TacoMagic permalink

    Anyone else have the feeling that “You will have access to direct TV, and wireless internet…” may actually mean:

    You’ve got a window where you could put a dish, thus ready access to direct TV and the neighbor doesn’t encrypt their wifi!

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 August 2
      TacoMagic permalink

      By the same token “Room” probably means unfinished basement, garage, shed, or broom closet.

      Adores: 4
  19. 2010 August 2
    Lola permalink

    I’m wondering if the no-food part is some kind of weird snobbery. One of my friends worked in a department where one of the female partners talked about how she didn’t cook and they always threw away any uneaten food because her husband didn’t like having it around: “leftovers are for poor people.”*

    *Yeah, they were a pair of entitled asshats, if you’re wondering.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 August 2
      Kae permalink

      I think maybe…my uncle, for instance, cooks volumes, but “won’t eat leftovers.” Well, then, for the love of Pete and the other starving children in Ethiopia, LEARN TO DO BASIC MATH!

      Adores: 2
  20. 2010 August 2
    EclecticBlue permalink

    I just have to say this: Point 4 was awesome.

    It begs the question, though… Do tags spontaneously generate? If so, what are the chances tags could spread across the interwebs? I’ll be toodling through my email, and find a spam message, and across the top will be DRMK SAYS: NO ACCOUNTING FOR TASTE.

    Also, that would be awesome.

    Adores: 9
    • 2010 August 2
      mudslicker permalink

      I see Speeling Prolbems all the time.

      Adores: 4
  21. 2010 August 2
    ashy16 permalink

    I’ve read this 5 times and I believe I’ve come to the conclusion that they are looking for a grandmother type since they did say “mature” female. But on the other hand, I would treat my own grandma better than that, so…the only thought in my tiny brain is that they are cannibals (given that they have no standard food in the house). They are not looking for a granny to babysit…they are looking for a granny to eat. Maybe they like their meat aged?

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 August 2
      LurkRealClose permalink

      And they’ll eat her on Thursday, so by Sunday they’ll need another victim babysitter.

      That makes sense.

      Adores: 3
  22. 2010 August 2
    EclecticBlue permalink

    Is it just me, or is it kinda quiet today?

    …I like how about 100 comments feels “quiet.” :-p

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 August 2
      sarajean80 permalink

      Lately we’ve been hitting around a hundred at lunchtime, I guess everyone is “busy” today with “work” and “stuff”.

      Slackers.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 2
        EclecticBlue permalink

        *crickets*

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 2
          Addicted Reader permalink

          I was here in the morning, but then I had to go do “useful” stuff. But now I’m back. : )

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 2

          I’ve had marching band since 8 o’clock, so I haven’t been able to get around. I might start bringing my computer to school, but I don’t know if they have the wifi set up yet.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 2
          Lola permalink

          Wait, Laurel, you were at marching band and Astro is also posting from Band Camp (“one time …”)? Are you at the same event?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 2

          Yeah, I wanted to be here. But…well, it says above where I was. Blech.

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 2
        LimeLolly permalink

        ๐Ÿ™

        My department relocated to another building last week.. and now I’m stuck by the door… no more web-surfing during the day until the supervisory units are out of the building…mostly because I can’t hear them coming in time.

        I wonder if I can slip a gps tracker system onto them??

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 2
          Windrose permalink

          Excuses, excuses! I know what really happened. I curse the site accidentally by stating yesterday that we always have 200 or more comments M thru Th, guaranteed. That did it. I will go put myself in the corner and sacrifice some chickens until the curse is lifted.

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 August 2
      Moira permalink

      My computer was being mean to me most of today. Its days are numbered…

      Adores: 0
  23. 2010 August 2
    LimeLolly permalink

    So… what is a mature FEMALE supposed to do between the hours of 11PM and 5PM? Get another job to buy food to feed the kids?

    This ad sounds suspiciously like my job as a mom. Deal with kid and homework for room and board, and I get bonuses in hugs, kisses and attitude.

    I think Sparky posted this ad in the wrong section. He’s obviously a wanna-be polygamist.

    Adores: 8
  24. 2010 August 2
    MandaB permalink

    All day long I’ve been wanting to give this one the subtitle “Luxury Woman Gets a Nanny”. Then I remembered where children come from and realized that it was highly unlikely Luxury Woman had offspring. For that I am thankful.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 August 2
      Kae permalink

      I fail to see how touching is required to get the stork to come to your cabbage patch.

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 August 2
      Addicted Reader permalink

      So that’s why she said no touching – extreme birth control!

      Adores: 0
  25. 2010 August 3
    Windrose permalink

    Rats, I wanted to do tonight’s punch early, because old people go to bed as soon as it gets dark. Somebody tell Grampdaddy in the morning, ‘k? Punchity Punch Punch!

    G’Night, Williamsburg!

    Adores: 1
  26. 2010 August 3
    Maureen permalink

    If this kid is really all that young, I’ll take the job and capitalize on it by working the talk-show circuit:

    At three years old, little Zenith Asha Poe is the youngest child ever to be out of the closet. Could this be a result of the fact that she doesn’t eat food? Is she influenced by her parents’ practice of using slave labour? Zenith and her devoted nanny answer these questions and more. Next, on Oprah.

    Adores: 0
  27. 2010 August 3
    Molly permalink

    Isn’t the major appeal of having a babysitter living in your house the fact that you could get a babysitter anytime you wanted? What is to keep the parent from just leaving the kid at home with the sitter during the sitter’s “off hours”? If anyone were dumb enough to take this posting, they’d end up watching the kid far more than the hours specified.

    Adores: 0

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