YSaC, Vol. 754: The fixi is in.
Remember the red table? Well, it looks like so does Gollum:
Fixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssss
Fixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssss
Yess my precious! It fixieees the bikessssss it does!
Thanks for the link, Nick!
It’s a trap!
Pit a Star!
Pisa tart!
Grazie..
Pizza tarts?
Call me old-fashoined, but I prefer my hookers with less cheese.*
*This is absolutely not true.
You’re totally right. You need TONS of cheese on a hooker before she’s edible.
That poncho you insist on wearing still giv.eeeessss me the itch.eeessss and sweat.eeeeessss.
The poncho.oooooo I loves.sssss it.ttttttt
*Looks at the poncho*
*Scratch Scratch*
*Scratch Scratch*
Arrrggggdddbbbbbllleeee!
*Jumps in the shower and turns the bleach on high*
And now I will never again be able to hear the phrase “Cheesehead” without shuddering.
Arrrrggggghhhh! My brain!
SJ’s trying to kill my brain! I must stop her!
*Puts aluminum foil all over his head*
Haha! I’m immune to your cheesehead rays… Ew.
So I take it you DON’T like cheese on your tacos, TM?
Actually I love cheese on my tacos. I always fill them to the brim with cheese and then top them off with a healthy scoop of nacho cheese just to hold it all in.
Also: Ew.
*reads Mudsy’s comment*
*mentally combines it with LRC’s comment*
*gets the brain bleach*
Cheese tacos topped with cheese! Que bueno. *pass the dollop of Daisy*
Bridgete: At least the line hasn’t been crossed yet!
Mudsy, I’m not so sure about that :-p
Good thing we don’t try to pick fly poop out of pepper around here, eh?
At a coffee shop:
It’s a frap!
Like so?
The page isn’t loading for me, but I’m pretty sure I know the picture you’re linking… so yes, exactly like that :-p
Also, I plugged “It’s a trap” into the first google search result for “anagram generator” and the first result is…. “para tits”
Niiiiiiiice! The anagram generator is the one the cross the line today.
Doh, time expired before I could edit my typo.
Wow, it took me several readings to figure out what your typo was… Maybe I should rethink my job as QA Coordinator…
Little Timmy is out for a ride on his new bicycle. Last week little Timmy’s father, big Timmy, finally saved up enough to be able to change his son from tri to bi. For you see, little Timmy has been complaining of his 3 wheel handicap for several months. In a twist of fate, big Timmy Stor.yyyyOver.rrrr Stor.yyyyOver.rrrrStor. yyyyOver.rrrrStor.yyyyOver.rrrrStor.yyyyOver.rrrrStor.yyyyOver.rrrrStor.yyyyOver.rrrrStor.yyyyOver.rrrrStor.yyyyOver.rrrrStor.yyyyOver.rrrrStor.yyyyOver.rrrrStor.yyyyOver.rrrrStor.yyyyOver.rrrrStor.yyyyOver.rrrrStor.yyyyOver.rrrrStor.yyyyOver.rrrrStor.yyyyOver.rrrrStor.yyyyOver.rrrrStor.yyyyOver.rrrrStor.yyyyOver.rrrrStor.yyyyOver.rrrrStor.yyyyOver.rrrrStor.yyyyOver.rrrrStor.yyyyOver.rrrrStor.yyyyOver.rrrrStor.yyyyOver.rrrrStor.yyyyOver.rrrrStor.yyyyOver.rrrrStor.yyyyOver.rrrrStor.yyyyOver.rrrrStor.yyyyOver.rrrr
Arrrrggggghhhhdddddbbbbbbllllllleeeee!
Well, when you explain it like that it makes perfect sense.
:backs away slowly, looking for an exit:
*sirens sound*
Candorman broke the template!*
*or whatever you call it.
(Psst, it’s the style sheet.)
*sirens sound*
Candorman broke the style sheet!
Two questions:
1) Is he also a ROOFER ROOFER ROOFER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
2) Will these bikes be fixed in the nude?
Okay, many more questions actually but I’ll stop now.
I KNEW someone would have said that by the time I got here. I wonder if it’s a team? One is a ROOFER ROOFER ROOFER, and the other Fixi.eeee Bike.sssssFixi.eeee Bike.sssss????
And at their house, they have a red table for sale, which you can take for free.
This is beginning to sound like a plot for a sitcom: A redneck ROOFER, hippie bicycle repairman with a lisp, and a zen beatnik with a red table are roomates, hilarity ensue.
Kind of makes me want to pull out my Young Ones DVDs.
Is the hippie the one that owns the angry badger?
I didn’t know Craigslist had an A-team.
I love it when a plan comes.ssss together.
It is good to see that Gollum made a career choice and opened his own business. But I thought he would be an auto mechanic, specializing in pistons and rings.
“Tricksy ten sssspeeeeds”
Ssssssssscoooterrrrsssssss …
I put the parts.sssssssss in the Baggins.sssssssssssssssssss.
And the lotion on it’s skin?
Meredith, I’ve read this comment at least 5 times today and each time it sends me into a fit of giggles.
*pouts* Meredith got more adores than I did.
A quick google search tells me that I might mean “How to fix 03-EEEE-0000 Error”?
I’m thinking this is more of an ID-ten-T error. You know?
ID-ten-T?
We don’t need any of your fancy-ass codes, just fix it LRC! It’s like my IT guy saying my computer keeps having PEBCAK errors when my foot pedal stops working! I don’t care what it’s called, just fix it!
How can you tell if she has a fancy ass? The poncho covers it up.
Me and the ass went to dinner and dancing. It broke the date off early because the restaurant I took it to was only 4 stars.
Talk about a fancy ass, and a poser to boot.
Sweet Clothespin Jeebus! It’s not an ass; it’s a moose.
I’ll take your PEBKAC and raise you a PICNIC! Meet you behind the pillar on Layer 8.
*wink wink*
Mudslicker, it makes me uncomfortable that you keep doing advanced troubleshooting in the workplace. It’s digital harassment, and I don’t have to stand for it! I’m a person too, not just a string of ones and zeroes for you to analyze!
Hey, hey, hey now! Look up HERE Mister when you yell at me like that!!!
Make up your mind already— is it 01010 or 10101? Binary is NOT forgiving in a dyslexic world.
Mudsy, it’s definitely 101010. I mean, since that’s The Answer and everything.
0x2A
4.36217103!
Taco, your footpedal makes me giggle, because our Tech Support department gets calls all the time about how to set up footpedals and use them and all. Then again, we offer an actual footpedal for the computer, so that makes a bit more sense… But when I first read your comment I thought, “Well, if your footpedal stops working, you should check and make sure that ActiveX is still configured properly… duh…”
I clamped one of those old-style plastic cup holders onto my computer case just so I could tell one of the guys in IT that my cup holder wasn’t working very well and that he needed to come down and fix it.
I jammed a toothbrush into my USB port and told the IT guy that my data wasn’t transferring to my flash drive*.
*that could have sounded x-rated
With appropriately placed quotation marks, it looks very X-rated, in a geeky sort of way.
Here SJ, you dropped this: “in-”
I get ads for fixed gear bikes with one search result – today’s YSaC post – and that little message at the bottom that says “In order to show you the most relevant results, we have omitted some entries very similar to the 1 already displayed.
If you like, you can repeat the search with the omitted results included.”
The omitted results? Also today’s post.
Since I did this for the red table:
Fixi the bike s
For free or maybe at cost
No number to call.
The cadence here is such that I can imagine our Gollum working out with dungbells to this.
Fixi.eeee *raises dungbells*
Bike.sssss *release down*
Fixi.eeee *raises dungbells*
Bike.sssss *release down*
Fixi.eeee *raises dungbells*
Bike.sssss *release down*
…and that, boys and girls, was the day Sparky checked into rehab…
I told Sparky not to mix Draino, crystal meth, and 151 rum.
Well, I really think it was the Barney re-runs that did him in.
Barney can break even the strongest brain, which Sparky does not possess.
Unless he has one in a pickle jar in a shed out back.
Just don’t touch the one labeled Abby-Something…
Young Frankenstein reference…FTW!!!
sj: And here I thought Drano® and Everclear made a good mix!
CJ: That’s the very first place my mind goes in reaction to brain-in-a-jar references. Possible alternate/second place: something drawn by Gary Larson.
Lola – I am constantly using the YF references…in fact, the first time I walked into my now-fabulous (then-horrible) office I turned to my new boss and said…”Oh, it’s not so bad…a few flowers, coupla throw pillows…”
Yeah, he didn’t get the reference but I never held that against him.
As for Larson…OMG…laugh till I pee nearly every time I read his stuff.
CJ, the fact that I was exposed to YF and Larson during my formative years explains rather a lot about me, at times …
I fixee da bikes. You like-a to ride-a da bike? You broke-a da bike? I fixee you bike. You godda more dena one? I fixa ALLA you bikes! Alla kinda bikes! Two-a wheel, one-a-wheel, tree-a-wheel, no-a-wheel — I fixa-da shoesa, too! You come, I fix, OK! I no tella you how, though.
Chico? Is that-a you?
I no tella you. I fixee you bike?
Bacontini not understand de joke. Why dis supposed to be funny, lots of people Bacontini know fixee de bike. Bacontini not so good at the fixee, but he have breaked de bike a few times.
I fixee you bikes! You break, I fixee! I fixee so gooda it’sa better den da new! I fixee, it make-a you da espresso and-a tella you dat-a you pretty, you go ride, OK!
The guy who changes my oil (and checks my car to make sure it’s safe) is 100% Italian. This is clearly what he’d sound like if he was a bike mechanic instead.
Are you bacontini?
I … I fixee you bikessssss?
Let’s rephrase the question another way: Mindfield, as always, are you here for de ladies?
Bacontini tink dat Mindfield always dere for de ladies if dey have de brokes bikesssss.
Bacontini, on de other hand, ALWAYS here for everyone! Especially de ladies.
Also, why de spell-check keep saying Bacontini misspelling words? Bacontini tink his spell-check just envious of Bacontini’s luck wit de ladies.
Yes! De ladies, de men, de cute little monkeys on-a da bikes in-a da circus, dey alla welcome for da fixee da bikes! Anda shoes! I fixee da shoes! I giva disacount to lifta da shirt for to showa me da boobies! Nota da men though. I no like-a dat.
Read what Mindfield just wrote. Now stare at the smiling dog. Read it again, stare at the dog.
You now feel as unclean as I feel right now.
Hello, ladies! Look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an accountant learned to fixee da bikessss, he could pretend he’s me! Look down, back up. Where are you? You’re in my repair shop with the man your man could be like! What’s in your hand? Back at me. I have it! It’s a sprocket for that bike you love! Look again, the sprocket is now a derailleur! Anything is possible when your man fixes bikes and not books. I’m on a Schwinn.
I just keep getting the freakishly-quiet butler dude, intent on everyones socks, in Sandler’s “Mr. Deeds”…
:retrieves power-washer, fills with brain bleach, sets to maximum:
He’s sneakysneaky.
I think he’s adicted to heroschwinn and need his fixi.eeee.
Huffy da glooieeeeee…
mudslicker….I had to read this three times before I got it…which makes me feel a) really old and b) refer to a.
It also made me guffaw…to the astonishment of my co-workers…
I love the word “guffaw”.
CJ: And here you proclaim to “get” Young Frankenstein. 😉
–“My, what big knockers!!
–“Why, thank you.”
–“Now put the candle back.”
I’m a fan of “kerfuffle”.
Mudslicker…
“Verevolf”
“Werewolf?”
“There wolf, there castle.”
I can go all day…
“Voodshteps”
“Huh?”
(stomping feet) “Voodshteps! Voodshteps!”
“OH!”
And……
“We’d better make damnshur.” <<<one I use a lot in the character's accent of course
Or…….
"Where are you going? That's just like a man, 7 or 8 quick ones then you're off with the boys to boast and brag!"
And lastly….
"Taffeta, darling!"
"Taffeta?"
Yeah, I get it….what I don't get (hangs head in shame) is Gollum…who the hell is that?
In (partial) redemption – is this a LOTR reference? I must confess I've never seen any of the LOTR movies…not a big fan…
(Again hangs head in shame) <<<twice I've typed that and both times I've initially written "hands head in shame”, which come to think of it is a lot funnier…
I’ve heard tell that thems movies wered based on books. Them’s is fur reedin’ folks though.
I am an avid reader, but I could not make my way through the LOTR trilogy. I liked the movies, so it’s not the story. I just kept getting bored.
That’s how it was the first time I tried to read the books, several years ago… I recently tried again, and it was so much easier to get through once I could picture settings and people from the movies… Just a thought 🙂
Yeah, the books are really boring. Most who have read the books and are fans of LOTR will concede this point. I think we like the IDEA behind the books and the rich world they flesh out more than we actually liked the books.
You have to remember, they were written by a history professor so they read more like a history lecture than they do like a modern fantasy novel.
It’s like Star Wars. Most fans like the IDEA of Star Wars more than they actually like the incoherant noodling that Lucas produces.
A few hints to help read the books: Skip any prologue and appendix that appear in the books. They aren’t important to the plot and it’s like reading a history text book. Read “The Hobbit” first. It’s actually an easier read as compared to the LOTR books. If JRR starts getting into the background of something, feel free to skim or skip ahead. Most of that background is unimportant to the story.
Finish this joke:
EyeGore, Gollum and Darth Vader walk into a bar…
Yikes! Too much “crossing of the streams” today!
:in her most hoity British accent:
Did you know…..that Tolkein started the LOTR series as bedtime stories for the kiddies, and after some 20 yrs. put pen to paper as it were…
…they were boring books…so I never finished
:in her insulted not-yet-published author tone:
And, while I’m at it…how in the hell does something like the “Twilight” series get published and I can’t even get my manuscript’s first chapter read by anyone?
:storms off in righteous indignation:
I liked the LOTR books.
CJ – I’ll also read your manuscript. I’m not a publisher, but at least somebody would have read it.
Yes I did, actually. 🙂
To be fair, the Twilight series had the lucky fortune to find a publishing company who was desperate and couldn’t afford standards.
My husband used to read installments of The Hobbit to my little Precious every night when she was little.
She turned out perfectly twisted.
I couldn’t get through the LOTR books until after I saw the movies, there is just so much…stuff crammed into them, much of it having nothing to do with the story currently being told.
The Twilight books had the phenomenally good fortune to find a perfect market – overly emotional teenage girls with access to their parents’ money – and the author simply wrote drivel that was as emotionally overwrought as they were. Kinda like a plunger salesman at a plumbers’ convention – you gotta know your market and give them something they want.
[/corey?] I heard tell the LOTR books, not the Hobbit, were actually written or at least the ideas produced by JRR’s students over the years. That’s a class of which I would have loved to have been part. [/end corey]
I.
Liked.
The.
History.
Feel.
Of.
LOTR.
Please don’t call me a freak!!!
I’ve read The Hobbit, and I think I was already skipping the prologues and appendices. The tip about skimming or skipping the background details might be the key to success. Maybe I’ll give them another try after I’m done with Anna Karenina (speaking of skimming over excessive details).
I liked the history, too, but then I’m the kind of nerd who gets into the fact that the Elvish language is supposed to be Gaelic-based, and the dwarf language looks like Norse futhark, so I can cast no (rune) stones.
There have been things I could not get into until after several tries, and then loved, and things I loved and then went back to reread and found myself mystified as to the original impression of genius. So, no judging of anyone’s reading tastes here.*
*Including Twilight and similar, though I wouldn’t read it at gunpoint. If it gets people to read, the chance they’ll later pick up something of better quality is stronger than if they weren’t reading at all.
My cousin is the proof of that pudding. She started with Twilight, and after painstakingly convincing her it was drivel I’ve moved her onto more glorious writings.
She’s almost to the point where I’m going to throw Ulysses at her and run for cover.
I couldn’t get through the LOTR books either, and the first movie almost killed me (seriously, I nodded off and nearly fell out of my seat and down the theater steps).
I have absolutely no desire to try Twilight, I like my brain too much.
Loved The Hobbit and LotR right off the bat. Can’t get through The Silmarillion to save my ass.
I am just enough of a fangirl to be grumpy over some of the changes in the movies but pleased with others.
I’m not interested in Twilight primarily because so much of their fandom are utter whackjobs. Also, Bella is useless. We do not need THAT as a character for girls to look up to, PLEASE. Gimme some Buffy if you want to include angst, River if you need tragedy… hell, gimme Kaylee – she may be no good in a fight but the girl’s seriously competent and, um, earthy. 😀
The Harry Potter books? Loved ’em. Percy Jackson? Hell yeah.
I recently gave my entire collection of Valdemar novels to a friend’s teenage daughter. I hope she read them. None of THOSE characters is a pretty whiner… not for long, anyway.
I read the Twilight books mainly because most of the other girls I work with had read them and I was sick and tired of not understanding what the hell they were talking about. Less painful than a root canal, but not the best the literary world has to offer.
(I should mention I own the DVD of Twilight(I bought it at a yard sale), but that is mainly so I can watch it with the RiffTrax.)
Confession: I’ve read the Twilight series. But only because I was drawn to the fact that it’s vampire fiction. This was early in the life of the series, so I didn’t really know what the deal was. I was in a bookstore, said, “Huh, what are these? Ooh, vampires!” and got the first one just to give it a go. I do the same thing with movies. I’ve seen some TERRIBLE movies just because they had vampires…and some good ones that I might have missed otherwise. Anyway, I must have found something engaging in the plot or I wouldn’t have made it through all four, but thinking back I’m not sure exactly what that engaging element was. I know several other people who have also read them and would say basically the same thing, even though they too don’t generally read such mindless drivel.
My reaction to Twilight is as follows, and I quote:
“Well, I didn’t think I’d ever read something that could make Eragon seem competently written with likable characters, but here I am holding it.”
And for those who wish to jump to the defense of Eragon because it was written by a 17 year old: Yes it’s impressive that a 17 year old wrote a novel. However, that does not automatically mean he produced literature worthy of being published and read. My sister at 14 had written a book (something like 40,000 words), and even she admits that her book was not worth reading.
Yay, confession time!
I’ve read the series as well… Mostly because I had a couple friends that talked about it all the time. I think I enjoyed it at the time… I consider it more brain-cotton-candy than an actual book series. I even identified minorly with Bella (horror of horrors) because a few years earlier I was in love with someone that was far away, and someone close was trying to convince me to marry him. The far-away love wasn’t nearly as creepy or misogynistic as Edward, though, and is now Mr. EB.
And now, a few years after that first read and a few more years removed from that situation, I think the whole series is retarded and painful… So I’ve seen the light :-p And long story short, I agree with Bridgete’s statement that it’s somehow engaging at the time, and mindless drivel when looking back.
Edit: Goodness, I think my caffeine made me babbley today…
“Please don’t call me a freak!!!”
You say that like it’s a bad thing, Mudslicker..
:enters room in huffy not-yet-published-author mode:
Oh my Bob!! MY manuscript took me THREE years to research and a year to write, and NO ONE wants to read it…aside from the focus group – seriously, I took a group of 10-13 yr. old girls and had them read it…they LOVED it..
And “Twilight” is making its author millions upon millions…
*whimper*
:exits room after first walking indignantly into the closet next to the door:
I just passed that around my office, and it earned many chortles of delight. If I could give you multiple doors for their sake, I would. (Technically, I could, because I have two browsers on my computer and two on my phone, so that’s 4 doors… but that would be cheating :-p)
Okay…I’ll say it in my best Puerto Rican girl accent so it seems like I’m taking a proactive stand on my affinity for history:
“Oh no, puh-leeease dun call me no freak or I’ll scramble uze huevos rancheros! ”
*just call me Rosie Perez
Why do doors need sake?
( I don’t know how to do the little accent mark over the “e”… sorry.)
CJ, my friend is trying to get a book published right now. I haven’t read the manuscript (I keep telling her to let me read it, she keeps saying she swears she’ll let me eventually) but I do know she has a great writing style. Her blog is utterly hilarious, she constantly has me in stitches when describing things that, if someone else were describing it, wouldn’t even elicit a chuckle. But, so far only rejections for her too…so it’s not just you.
My wife is in the same boat. She’s considering doing that Amazon e-book thing or getting an agent (as suggested by her publishing a book, book) since it’s apparently impossible to publish without doing one of those two things.
CJ, if it makes you feel any better, I spent years writing a vampirish novel set in New Orleans that I shelved when Katrina happened. I pulled it out a few years later only to find that my main non-vampire character’s last name was now synonymous with a sparkling vampire.
The really sad part is that mine’s a story of sorcerers and wizards and a young girl who has no idea she’s powerful….remind you of anything?
Yeah, it’s very Potter-ish…and it was actually started in 1991…set down for about 6 yrs and then picked up again in 1997. It’s been complete since 2001.
Sigh…….well, I intend to print copies and give to my kids. Who knows? When I’m gone maybe someone will publish it.
I know how you feel CJ. I’ve had a book series brewing for about 15 years now. Sadly, many of the plot points in my books have become mainstream since I’ve thought about them, so what used to be an original idea now feels derivative of things that have occurred in the meantime.
Luckily I can still keep the universe I built for the books, but it appears I’ll have to throw out a few hundred pages of character background and plot summaries and just come up with new material. Yay.
It probably also irks you that you were supplanted by somebody who didn’t feel like doing the 3 years of research before sitting down to write her books. Research and careful world development are over-rated anyway.
I thought Eragon wasn’t that bad, actually.
I love this, though. I’ve not read Twilight, but it perfectly describes my relationship with Dan Brown’s books. I often describe them as like crack: I can’t stop reading them, but I feel dirty and ashamed of myself in the morning.
Yes, Taco, it does irk me…sigh…one of my characters is of a Celtic background, well-versed in the Wiccan ways and in the book she travels forward in time where the “middle” class people now speak Celtic…
It took me forever to find a nice Irish man in County Galway to help me with translations for free…I wanted authenticity so I avoided the translator programs.
Sigh…big.azz.sigh…
Poor research and sloppy world building annoy the crap out of me (I’m one of the few who couldn’t stand the Potter books, and it wasn’t the writing style but rather the inattention to detail and poor world construction. Had JK taken the time to construct a magic system that didn’t contradict itself all the time, I would have enjoyed the books).
I would probably enjoy your books just because of the attention given to proper authenticity. If you do publish (even e-publish) let me know and I’ll be a customer for you.
Oh, dear. My dad took me to his Tolkein classes with him when I was eight, so I read the Hobbit then and the first two books of LOTR shortly thereafter. And then got sidetracked by Agatha Christie and Dorothy L. Sayers because I’m really more of a mystery than a fantasy girl.
Now, as far as Twilight goes…my psych-degree-holding side firmly believes that people who believe that unrequitable love is romantic are people with commitment issues. My theatre-grad-degree-getting side says, “yeah, that, goes for you, stupid Miss Capulet and idiot Mr. Montague.”
Yep. I feel the same way about the Dan Brown books. And the Twilight books, for that matter. I refused to take the most recent Dan Brown book with me on the T when I was reading it. I didn’t want anyone to judge me (yes, I totally judge people by what they’re reading on the T).
@ All the out-of-closet-Twilight-readers: Oooh good this makes me feel better about having to read the dreaded Sparkle fest – I had a deal with my flatmate – I’d read Twilight if she’d watch Firefly. She’s hooked (all hail Joss) and now I have to follow through. Grrr.
@ CJ (and all the other writers): editors at big publishing houses today are muppets. Witness, the rise of Sparklepires/Dan Brown etc. and this guy’s story.
@ Bridgete – Speaking of terrible vampire movies, have you seen the new Lost Boys? I’m afraid of it… I also tried Vampire Diaries, but I had to leave the room because I couldn’t hear the dialogue over the combination of my laughter and righteous indignation.
I have not seen the new Lost Boys. I’m afraid of it too. Another confession…I watch Vampire Diaries. But it tends to be a multi-tasking show, rather than a full-attention show. I also let it build up in my TiVo, only watching it when there’s nothing else saved in there (a rare occasion).
Related to the Twilight discussion:
http://notalwaysright.com/youd-bella-believe-it/6498
Ok, the ONE thing that bugs me about LotR and Tolkien?
He ripped dozens of names straight out of Norse mythology, including Gandalf.
I am totally stealing Sparklepires.
Oh my…You’d think just once or twice would be enough.
According to my catilosophy book; “If less is more, then an incredibly large number is less than zero herring, cheddar, and tomato sammichs.”
Mmmmmm, sammichs. Nom!
More is clearly better on Craigslist.
We’re talking about psychoses right?
We’re talking about EVERYTHING Taco!!! It keeps the balance and prevents us all from sliding off the earth.
*Listens to the cowbell overture*
You’re right, we need more!
Les Miserables
“More, please…”
Ah, yes, but everything in moderation. This person clearly had a bit too much of something causing him to go a bit too far.
But he didn’t cross the line. That’s OUR job!
Did you know you can hold down ctrl-v and it’ll keep pasting?
I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now! I didn’t, but I do now!
That’s a talent that can apparently be put to bad use.
I’m going to go out on a limb here & say that Bike.sssss, he Fixi.eeees them.
If I was going to hazard a guess, of course.
I’m not sure, Ama. I think maybe he fixi.eeees the bike.ssss. Hard to say.
Hard to say without giving everyone a shower.
Of course he fixi.eeee the bike.sssss, if you don’t fixi.eeee the bike.sssss, they keep reproducing and who wants to see an explosion in the bike population?
So are you saying that Sparky is offering to sprinkle the bike.sssss?
I don’t like to hazard guesses. Can I cautiously-tiptoe one instead?
I’m not sure what Sparky is getting at. Better get some coffee and re-read aloud.
I’m not sure that would go over so well, here at work.
LRC…I double-dog dare you….
:wishes to be fly-on-wall at LRC workplace:
It would probably make everyone leave you alone for the day.
Or possibly longer, if you use different voices for Bike.sssss and Fixi.eeee.
Ha! That is exactly what I did this morning when I first read this. The girl in the cube next to me asked if I had a gas leak.
See, I’m getting a little Vader here too. Maybe they went into business together.
Darth Vader and Gollum’s Bike Repair Service
I find your lack of proper tire inflation disturbing, my precious
IF – I see a box and a punch in your future! Many doors for you!
Luke, I didn’t kill your father. I fixi.eeee his bike.ssss!
No! That’s not true! That’s impossible! He told me he uses roller blades!
I kept the work order and recipt. You can check them; you know it’s true!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
This had me laughing this morning, and I am still giggling over it this evening. I am a sucker for Star Wars parodies of any kind. Must have been the early exposure to Hard Ware Wars.
Star Wars was the very first movie my sister saw in the theaters. She was six months old when my dad took both his daughters to see it. She slept through it.
Then, we had it on video and I watched it nearly every morning one summer.
I saw Episode 1; I remember the worst bits. I saw Episode 2; I happily remember NOTHING*. I didn’t bother with Episode 3.
*Oh, wait… there was a lightsaber battle with the dude with the red face and really really poor wire-fighting, wasn’t there? Damn. I sorta remember that.
Psst Taco, you dropped this – e
I came back from Maine early to avoid the crazy thunderstorm last night. Last night I also dreamt of a bicycle thief and didn’t know why—-
I think I saw that from my balcony! I saw distant flashes coming from the north, but I didn’t hear any thunder so I thought it must have been pretty far away.
I think the needle is skipping on Sparky’s vinyl brain.
I put a penny on the tone arm. Did it help? No? Didn’t think so.
(I must be channelling Don Rickles today)
The baseball card is hitting every spoke in his wheel.
He hiccupped on that last pothole and dented his brain.
This post is painful. I have a Redundancy Intolerance.
Also: check out the Corey in the comments. He’s decided to adopt a new identity.
Deja vu, the sensation that you’re doing something that you’ve done before.
Deja vu, the sensation that you’re doing something that you’ve done before.
It’s like deja vu all over again.
:gives props to Yogi:
O.o Is Yogi going to do a play, like an all
barebear revue?Only if you bring him a pick-a-nick basket.
[corey] They have found the precise error that causes deja vu. When our brains process experience information, one of the things they do is catalogue differences from previous experiences. When this process glitches and your brain fails to find differences, you get deja vu. What I find most amazing about this is that our brains must always be noticing differences that we could NEVER recall consciously or we’d have deja vu a lot more often.[/corey]
Page didn’t show anything, it said you only show information to friends *sniffsniff*
Umm…that would be because even though I swear I copy/pasted the right link, my browser chose to paste something I was copy/pasting earlier.
Here: http://redpeninc.blogspot.com/2010/08/redundancy-intolerance.html
“arnie” – that’s a weird way to spell Corey. Must be one of those hipster respellings.
I was thinking it was more of a CoreyMatt. Doesn’t it seem like there’s some (un)righteous indignation in there? This bit in particular: “waste time on this sort of thing.” But maybe that’s just me 🙂
I agree, it’s definitely a bit Mattish.
Somebody was having flashbacks to high school English papers I think. I know how the guy feels :).
I’m asking Sparky ‘why?’ ‘For what purpose?”What was the reaction he expected to the posting?’ *bring in the German philosopher football team*
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart:
“I drink, therefore I am.”
“Dog is dead.”
Veni, vidi, vino. I came, I saw, I drank.
[corius] Actually it’d be vedi, vidi, bibo, which I fin amusing. vedi, vidi, vino means “I came, I saw, WINE!”, which is also fun. [/corius]
vedi, vidi, assi, hatti. I came I saw i Fixi.eeee Bike.sssss
Immanuel Kant summed it up best with his statement of the categorical imperative: “We need to ask ourselves, ‘WTF you talkin’ about, Sparky?'”
You can trust me on this – I was a Philosophy major…. – and all the English major’s got the “You want fries with that?” jobs.
Whole different on direction on this: What if Sparky is a tailor/seamstress and actually does sewing repairs on men’s athletic supporters? That would go along with Fix.eeee Bik.eeee.
Like Gollum says,”I want to hold your precious….”
(back to my corner of the gutter…)
I think the Beatles did a version of I Wanna Hold Your Precious but they called it something different….
*thinking thinking*
Ummm…Was it Nowhere Man?
I think it was Helter.rrrrrrr Sssssssskelter
Number 9…..
The larch, the larch.
The Beeach boys
Bike.sssss Bike.sssss,Fixi.eeee Bike.sssss
I Fixi.eeee Bike.sssss
Yeah
Fixi.eeee Bike.sssss ooooooo
I Fixi.eeee Bike.sssss
Fixi.eeee town to town
Fixi.eeee Bike.sssss Bike Bike I Fixi.eeee Bike.sssss
I’m a real poo head
Fixi.eeee Bike.sssss Bike Bike I Fixi.eeee Bike.sssss
I’m stuck in your head
I’m gettin’ bugged repeating all the same old words
I gotta finda new word to describe my biz
Note:I was gunna do the whole song but it was driving me BIKIE.SSSSSSSSSS
Oh, no, this cries out for Freddy Mercury!
I want to fixiee bicycle, I want to fixiee bikesss!
I want to fixiee bicycle, I want to fixiee how you like!
“Fat-bottom girls, you make me fixi.eeeee bike real soon.nnnnnnnnn.”
Speaking of Beatles, Ham, you’re becoming the regular Lennon & McCartney of YSaCville. Brilliant lyric work. Will you be touring?
Yes! Coming soon to a gutter near you.
More like Lemon and McFartney.
Chicago steamer comin’ your way!
Hmmm, christina seems to have paid for two days stay in the Don’t Suck box. 8)
I think she
threatenedbribed the Llama Nun and Ostrimu withtruck beesvintage cereals.Or they’re
trapped in my basementsimply awed by my wit.Wait, no. It’s Mindfield again. Darn, I hate punching dogs. 8/ Especially one so funny.
< corey >
A “fixie” bike is a slang term for a fixed-gear bicycle. On a fixed-gear bicycle, there is only one speed, and the pedals are attached to the gear, so that you cannot “coast” – the pedals always move as long as the wheels/gear are moving.
fixies are popular among obnoxious hipsters.
The most common fixie owner has a short beard, a bad attempt at an ironic mustache, wears an orange t-shirt that is 2 sizes too small, and cut-off women’s jeans as knee-length shorts.
It is conceivable that women also own or ride fixies, but it has rarely been witnessed in the wild.
< / corey >
this ad is totally something an obnoxious hipster would create.
Fixies make me want to run people over with my car.
I usually just scream, “YOU’RE RIDING A CHILD’S BIKE, MORON” to myself.
The real rub is that those stupid things can cost upwards of $2,000. Which is impressive for something you can pick up at Waly World in the toy isle for $50.
In the words of a friend I had in college who made and sold them: “These things are awesome! I can build them in 4 days using $40 in parts and sell them for $600 as a “custom fixed” to stupid trend followers. I love being me!”
I’m dying to know – did he sell them on CraigsList and was the ad YSaC-worthy?
Nope, word of mouth sales.
Basically he built one for a mutual friend of ours (He was a trend following flunky, but a nice guy) and he showed the “Custom Fixie” to all his hipster friends. Over half ended up buying “Custom Fixies” and showing all their hipster friends… who of course had to have one.
Weren’t fixxxxies featured on the site Stuff White People Like? If not, they should be.
I’m TOTALLY picturing hipster hobo* on one of these pieces of crap, from your description.
*See yesterday’s post
The toy isle? The Wally Worlds in Wisconsin must be pretty fancy if there’s an entire island just for the toys. Where do they put it? Lake Michigan?
It’s a bit of an inside joke. With all things like that I forget that not everyone in the world knows what I’m talking about (like calling the microwave the Michael Dean, saying that a person has cantaloupe armpits, or swyflotter).
The toy isle is just off the coast of the continent of cooking in our Waly World. There’s also the electronic peninsula, the outdoor equipment plains, the man archipelago (sporting, tools, and auto), the United Clothing Empire (It was later dissolved into smaller countries), and Socialized United Customer Kare (SUCK… think USSR). A bunch more, too many to list.
Background: It was 2 am, and my friends and I were feeling silly (drinking). I used the term “Waly World” and we kinda got lost in a tangent for about an hour populating the “Planet Walmart”. We still use geographic and political map terms when talking about areas of the Wal. The best one ever was to refer to the division between the grocery and other areas as the Crapquator.
I’m askeert them fixies wuld git runned over here in hot-as-hell-Texas…
And not because they’re stupid little bicycles, but because we’d be laughing so hard at the riders we’d just veer.
Aha! Well, then, that’s completely different. Bridgete/Isaac retracted.
I’m stealing the Crapquator for my next trip through the Waliverse.
I think I’m going to steal most of these for my next trip to WallyWorld :-p
Anyone? Island of Misfit Toys? Just me?
CJ, ever try to drive through Denton? There’s more bikes than cars and no one follows the rules of the road. Plus, I’m pretty sure at least one out of every three is a fixie.
Of course, now every time I see one while driving I’ll be muttering, “Smussssh.eee fixie.ssssss!”
christina…um..yeah, I live pretty close to there…with two colleges it does soooooooooo reek…
Yes, it simply reeks of obscure irony. You can see it in the “e”s.
Or it’s possible that it simply reeks. Much like a hipster.
Let’s go back to Bosto.nnnnnn
Forge.tttttt about the tur.nnnnn
🙂
“You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike”
HamCan Types “XYZZY”
A hollow voice says “PLUGH”.
All the Bike.sssssFixi.eeee disappear in a puff of smoke.
e;s;e;e;s;e;n;n;n;w;n;n;w
c change newt
look newt
c heal newt
Glad I have the lights on here. No Grues can get me!
I’m glad someone else knew what the heck I was talking about.
I have to admit, it is only through my dedication to UserFriendly that I got the reference. 🙂
The original game, Colossal Cave Adventure, had no Grues only bottomless pits.
But you were close enough 🙂
Oh, and by the way…
This ad makes me glad that today’s the first day that I’m on full doses of both the seizure med I’m starting and the seizure med I’m quitting, because otherwise…*twitch* *twitch* *foam*
Oh, drat.
Reminds me a lot of this post, too: http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=1092
Ah, dang! I missed Dan’s birthday, I missed two punches, this week, I don’t know what’s going on here!
Mindfield, sorry for the delay! Punchity punch punch!
G’night, Transylvania!
As long as you keep coming back, I think we’ll forgive you.