YSaC, Vol. 778: Bear is investing! How can this be?

2010 September 3
by dan

Beautiful Crystal Vases / Floral – $49


Classic crystal vases (pair) with designer floral. $50.00 for the pairMoving soon // Mr. Bear says SELL

Please call ###-###-####

Vases are on each side of the fireplace..

“Hello, I’m Mr. Bear, and I’m here to provide you with solid investment advice. You may think I’m just a cuddly plush toy, but… BUY! BUY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MURRAY? HOLY CRAP I’M LOSING MY SHIRT HERE, BUY!”

“Ahem. As I was saying, a prudent financial strategy is always wise in today’s uncertain economic climate, and when you trust me with your retirement planning, you can rest assured that…. SELL! SELL! SELL!!! MURRAY, GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR! SELL, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SELL!! ”

“Where was I? Oh Yes. A proper mix of equities, bonds, and money market funds, properly adjusted as you near retirement is essential to properly… WAFFLES! TASTY WAFFLES!!! WAFFLES! WAAAAFFLES!”

Thanks for the link, Ket!

344 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 September 3

    I would have slapped a “trying too hard” tag on this one. Trying to be cutesy in your listing makes me not want to buy your stuff, o’sucky craigslister.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 September 3

      zzzz…I refuse to snark until some snark worthy posts are made!

      ~candorman is on strike~

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 September 3
        mudslicker permalink

        Thank god?

        Adores: 8
        • 2010 September 3
          TacoMagic permalink

          Thank Bob.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          sarajean80 permalink

          Thank you Spice Christ! I shall sacrifice three nutmegs in your honor.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 September 3

          I shall sacrifice three nutmegs

          I dated her once…

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 September 3
          sarajean80 permalink

          …and thus ended a lucrative circus sideshow career.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3

          As a community we have to fight the man!

          The man is posting lameness, we deserve easier targets for our slander.

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 September 3

        Change of management.

        Candorman is the acting webmaster of yousuckatcraigslist.

        I will monetize every inch of page space, banner every button, and then change the direction of this portal.

        Starting 9/5/10, yousuckatcraigslist will become a directory of Michael Bolton’s greatest hits.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          TacoMagic permalink

          … so a blank page then?

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 September 3

          Precisely.

          The only thing remaining will be a cropped centerfold of Hugh Hefner riding a walrus.

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 September 3

        Candorman- Don’t be mean to the other posters (unless they reach Corey levels of not understanding humor or Matt levels or misplaced indignation). One thing I like about YSaC is the comment section isn’t full of nastiness and commenters tearing eachother apart.

        Adores: 10
        • 2010 September 3
          mudslicker permalink

          Unblublers Unite!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Thank you, Silva….

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 September 3

          ( the second “or” was meant to be “of” )

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3

          Another thank you, Silva.

          I’ve got 270+ comments left to read (did anyone do any work today?:)!), I rather hope there’s more line crossing and less mean spirited stuff.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3

          Oh, there’s a particularly good bit of line crossing down the page. Now, it doesn’t get tentaraped by alien pork cans or nuffin’. We need to go gentle on it until it’s recovered from the recent traumatic crossing we did to it.

          Oh… sorry, line.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3

          Speaking of the line, Astro, nice crotch-shot. I know you young boys like whipping out your horns, but in public?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          CapnMac permalink

          Silly barrister, that’s a mellophone, not some wooden knee.
          (I thought it was some form of Public Display of Affection, at first)

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 September 3

          Oy! Cap’n! Thems be dogs in mine avatar. I’m more likely to aspire to barista than barrister.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 4
          Astrognash permalink

          Captain, that’s a baritone. The difference is I can hold up a mellophone all day and not even sweat, but my baritone is a man’s instrument.

          Adores: 0
  2. 2010 September 3
    mudslicker permalink

    Just what the hell IS that bear doing in that pic?

    *Boo Boo wanna Kleenex?*

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 September 3
      Lou Stool permalink

      Wow. Could be a new roecord. Line gone after 2 posts. Well done.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 September 3
        mudslicker permalink

        Well, what else could be done Lou? The pic of Boo Boo is up and close and will probably invade my nightmares tonight.

        And I can’t even see those crystal meth vases. Would moving a little closer to snap the polaroid be asking too much of Sparky?

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          sarajean80 permalink

          Unless Mr. Bear gets angry when he doesn’t get his close-up. Does he become enraged and begin throwing things around the room and making obscene phone calls while attempting to psychically force himself on you? ‘Cause that might be a dealbreaker right there.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          Lou Stool permalink

          Yeah, I THINK those are the most beautiful $49 vases for $50 I have ever laid eyes on, but they’re just.too.far.away.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 September 3
          Lou Stool permalink

          Mr Bear could be Lotso from Toy Story 3 incognito.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3

          Just what is involved in him forcing himself upon you “psychically”?
          Do you buy more honey than you need?
          Do you keep in touch with yourself in public?
          What?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 September 3
          sarajean80 permalink

          In case you missed it –

          http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=4579

          It features a very naughty doll.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          Supreme Ruler permalink

          Mudslicker, they don’t dare move any closer. The vases are so close to the end of the mantle shelf a breath would blow them to the floor.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3

          Yes, because we don’t want anything blown to the floor.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          LimeLolly permalink

          Yes, because we don’t want anything blown to the floor.

          Speak for yourself.

          *It’s no-line Friday*

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 September 3
        Windrose permalink

        Mr. Ranger isn’t going to like this!

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 September 3
          mudslicker permalink

          SR: I was noticing their precipitous position on that mantle as well. You’re right. The echo caused by walking across the room would be enough to dash Sparky’s hopes of raking in that $49/$50 he was looking for.

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 September 3
        CapnMac permalink

        Hey, sparky only had the bear photo, and the pic downloaded form the RE listing to work with . . .

        Adores: 0
    • 2010 September 3
      TacoMagic permalink

      Welp, the coffee must finally be kicking in because I now understand your post Mudsy.

      Yup, took me 3 1/2 hours to understand some rather obvious innuendo. Me half grate brane dai!

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 September 3
        mudslicker permalink

        Innuendo? Great! Now I have no idea what you’re talking about. I never innuendo on Fridays.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3

          Innuendo=An Italian suppository.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 September 3
          mudslicker permalink

          Approved by the Vatican.

          Imprimatur.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Yep, as one of the Marx brothers (I think it was Karl) said, “You go out the door and come innuendo.”

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          mudslicker permalink

          I think Karl was one of the Malden brothers.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          Grampdaddy permalink

          No Mudsy, that was Chocolate – Chocolate Malden – with whipped cream and a cherry on top. Yummmmmmm!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          Drum Captain permalink

          Uh, Gramdaddy, I hate to call attention to an error on your part when you have been so nice to me, but I believe Groucho said: “Love walks out the door when money flies innuendo.”

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 4
          Grampdaddy permalink

          My dear Drum Captain.

          You are most certainly correct about it being Groucho, but without the Karl Marx allusion, Mudsy would never been able to do the “Malden” thing, and I couldn’t have responded with having a “Chocolate Malden”.

          See, it was a psychic foreshadowing – maybe the correct term is ‘psychotic’

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 September 3

      There once was a bear from Racine.
      Two vases he had that were keen.
      On Craigslist he stood.
      To sell them he would.
      Performing an act quite obscene.

      *In Soviet Russia, line crosses you.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 September 3

        **Don’t buy a vase from a bear. part 2**

        Now Sparqi McBear’s a bit loupy.
        While next to him sat a fine groupie.
        To Sparqi she’d tell.
        These vases wont sell.
        By making your Sales so Soupy.

        Wait,
        What’s My Line?

        Adores: 1
    • 2010 September 3

      The reason this post is lame, is just that. The bear was originally intended to be a joke. This is a conspiracy, drmk is trying show off pics of her casa.

      Taco = drmk, sarajean = MR. WINKY!, mudslicker = astrognash.

      These are the active conspiracys, and notice that they are the only ones whose snarks are ever posted on the homepage.

      This will change with my redesign.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 September 3
        mudslicker permalink

        dan posted today.

        Adores: 1
      • 2010 September 3
        sarajean80 permalink

        I am not now nor have I ever been Mr Winky and I refuse to enter into any conspiracy that would brand me as such.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          Mr. Winkey permalink

          You all are dropping “e”s off my name worse than you do to Bridgete…

          **sighs dejectedly.**

          Adores: 2
  3. 2010 September 3

    Personally, I think Mr. Bear is also saying “foreclosure”.

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 September 3
      mudslicker permalink

      Code word for “sealing the deal”..

      *wink wink*

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 September 3
      CapnMac permalink

      Pretty sad if the only things not repo-ed are the vases, the candle sticks, the dubious painting and a stuftbar.

      Would explain the photos. RE agent got the one pic of the house without a missing appliance or a Deputy in it.

      Adores: 0
  4. 2010 September 3
    M5ind permalink

    What? $50 for some vases with twigs in it? There’s no way in all he…ALL HAIL MR. BEAR!

    *runs off to find wallet*

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 September 3
      camille permalink

      Apparently I’ve just been replaced as Empress of the Universe by a stuffed toy. Easy come, easy go.

      Adores: 12
      • 2010 September 3
        Astrognash permalink

        Little high, little low.
        Anyway the snark blows doesn’t really matter to me…

        to me…

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 September 3
          sarajean80 permalink

          And now I have a Queen earworm. Thank you for that.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          mudslicker permalink

          I thought you wrote Queer earworm.

          *blink blink*

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          CapnMac permalink

          Freddie’s fans are going to hurl their mustache brushes at you fro that one!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          TacoMagic permalink

          Are they suggesting that Freddie Mercury is gay?! Say it ain’t so!

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 September 3
          mudslicker permalink

          New clothes for the avatar TM?

          Snazzy….

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          Astrognash permalink

          This reminds me of a comment I saw on the Youtube video for that male Lady Gaga fellow, Prince Poppycock, when he did Bohemian Rhapsody:

          Somewhere out there, Freddie Mercury is thinking, “Wow. That dude is gay.”

          As a disclaimer, I may have paraphrased.

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 September 3
      linnee permalink

      Those are not twigs. I believe the correct botanical classification is designer floral.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 September 3

        “Upcycled” yard waste? Nah, that doesn’t look like a hipster domicle. But I’m pretty sure I saw Mr. Bear boozing it up with Mr. Winkey last week.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          TacoMagic permalink

          I should crochet them matching hats out of upcycled plastic grocery bags. Talk about stylin’.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 September 3
          mudslicker permalink

          You’ve done it now christina. As sure as Tooter Turtle calling Mr. Wizard gets attention, W**key will be showing up now.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          EclecticBlue permalink

          No, Mudsy, we’ve got until 3pmish, remember? Mr W**ky goes to high school :-p

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 September 3
          mudslicker permalink

          Really? Naaaaah. My investigative skills are waning. I always thought W**key was older and more guess-able.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3

          There is a forum topic where Mr. Winkey exposed himself.

          What?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          Mr. Winkey permalink

          **winks at Taco**

          Ooh! Crochet! Can they say “Party Girl” on them?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 September 3
          Grampdaddy permalink

          There is a forum topic where Mr. Winkey exposed himself.

          Would that be a pubic forum?

          (subsequent edit – darn ‘l’ key stuck….)

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 September 3
          mudslicker permalink

          Re: said ‘l’ key

          You mean:

          Woud that be a pubic forum?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          sarajean80 permalink

          Would that be a pubic forum?

          (subsequent edit – darn ‘l’ key stuck….)

          Did you have to hand draw those two then?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Umm, most of the time my ‘l’ key works fine – it is only on occasion that it needs help because it won’t come back up.

          Which is why I sometimes cross the line, and other times cross the ine.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          Meej permalink

          So when you can’t get your “l” to come back up, you have “pubic” trouble, eh?

          (Line? Where?)

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          CapnMac permalink

          Are you suggesting Gramp get a looking glase, the better to See Alice”

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 September 3

          A looking glase?

          I he a doenut, then?

          Is he topped with sprynkles?

          And filled with creem?

          Can people eat him (and that creem) all day long for a low price?

          **Now I am become death, the crosser of lines.**

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 September 3
        mudslicker permalink

        That would be through the Not.A.Linnaeus classification system.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 September 3
          mudslicker permalink

          Alas, I haven’t had time to be in here much at all lately—let alone in the forums. Thanks for the heads-up christina.

          Adores: 1
  5. 2010 September 3
    Irregular Fractal permalink

    The #1 Threat to America: Investing Bears

    Adores: 9
    • 2010 September 3
      mudslicker permalink

      I actually think it’s Investing Bare. Those Wall-Streeters are such nudist kidders.

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 September 3
        Grampdaddy permalink

        Mudsy, you’re right – investing bare is very dangerous. You have nothing to cover your shortages.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 September 3
          mudslicker permalink

          …or your assets.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 September 3
          Grampdaddy permalink

          That’s true, especially if you have a really fine asset.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          Astrognash permalink

          But what if you have a really fine asshat?

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 September 3
      TacoMagic permalink

      Like a deadly neighbor, State Bear is there!

      Adores: 13
      • 2010 September 3

        I’ve heard of the bear market but this is ridiculous.

        Adores: 11
      • 2010 September 3
        Pedobear permalink

        I approve of such tactics to reign in children get customers.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 September 3
          LimeLolly permalink

          So wrong….

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          Pedobear permalink

          You are not the real PedoBear!

          The real PedoBear believes free range, organic children customers are the best in the world.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          mudslicker permalink

          DDT included and all?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          Grampdaddy permalink

          OMG!! Look out – Pedobear said that it’s rainin’ children!

          When you really need them, where are the Zomb

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          Pedobear permalink

          Tonight, Ish Police apprehended the violent gang of sex offenders known as “The Pedobears” when they performed an impromptu gig at the 40 Watt. Their act, a parody of “It’s Raining Men”, included the following song:

          Hi – Hi! We’re your Pedobears – Ah-huh -
          And have we got news for you – You better listen!
          Get ready, all you lonely guys
          and leave those tents at home. – Alright! -

          Crime rates is rising – Belts are getting low
          According to all sources, the line’s the place to go
          Cause tonight for the first time
          (He’s) Just about half-past ten
          For the first time in history
          It’s gonna start raining kids.

          It’s Raining Children! Hallelujah! – It’s Raining Children! Amen!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 4
          EclecticBlue permalink

          Line! Line! AwOOOOOOga!

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 September 3

      Godless killing machines!

      Adores: 1
  6. 2010 September 3
    sarajean80 permalink

    Wouldn’t it have been a better idea to take a close up of the actual item you are selling, rather than a random stuffed animal?

    Oh, wait – this is CraigsList.

    Adores: 9
    • 2010 September 3
      TacoMagic permalink

      Yup, Taco is VERY tired. I was one click away from making a terrible 300 reference using the phrase “This is Craigslist”

      We are all very lucky that I averted this disaster with 3 heaping spoonfulls of coffee.

      *Crunch Crunch Crunch*

      Mmm, the coffee is nice and soft this morning.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 September 3
        EclecticBlue permalink

        THIS… IS… CRAIGSLIIIIIIIIST!! ;-)

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 September 3

          Tonight we dine WITH BEARS!

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 September 3
          Astrognash permalink

          Don’t you mean that we dinn with bears? We are using the dinning table, aren’t we?

          **goes to prep the Nacho Cheese fountain and the Not.A.Lionel. Cheese Head in anticipation of dinner with Mr. Bear.**

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 September 3
      CapnMac permalink

      Well, yeah, but I fear you are making a non-CL assumption about Sparq and his bar. See, the vases. candlesticks adn bad painting are in the foreclosed house in ish; Sparq and his bar are back liveing in their parent’s garage in [location].

      Adores: 0
  7. 2010 September 3
    TacoMagic permalink

    I had a whole long story about how the family adopted a bear who ate them in their sleep and sold all their stuff on craigslist but it was too long, didn’t write.

    Sorry kids, Taco probably won’t be snarking much today. Tron made sure Taco only got 3 hours sleep last night.

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 September 3
      mudslicker permalink

      Thanks for the Abstract on the story line though TM. Hope Tron gets some sleep today as well as mom and pop—just not too much sleep or he’ll be up tonight as well.

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 September 3

      I have a theory about babies and sleep….they don’t and you don’t. That’ll be $49, or if you like you can have this terrifying bear and two vases and the fee will only be $50.

      Adores: 10
      • 2010 September 3
        TacoMagic permalink

        I know that some babies sleep, my sister had one that did.

        Mine doesn’t, but at least I know they do exist.

        Adores: 2
    • 2010 September 3
      MandaB permalink

      You have my sympathies. Someone pass Taco the coffee slices.

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 September 3
      Windrose permalink

      Taco, when I have a noisy bird that won’t settle down, I just cover it with a blanket or sheet. Have you tried that? Make sure his cage isn’t in a draft, and he has plenty of fresh water and seed.

      Adores: 8
      • 2010 September 3
        TacoMagic permalink

        Oh hey! That’s a great idea!

        Hold on, I’m getting a call…

        *Checks Caller ID*

        Anyone know who CPS is?

        Adores: 7
        • 2010 September 3

          Campus Public Safety?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          sarajean80 permalink

          Cinnamon Plushie Society?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 September 3
          mudslicker permalink

          They’re the red-headed stepchild of DFS. Just ignore them.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          Taco — in a rude voice tell them to quit annoying you and hand up on them. You may get more sleep after that.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          TacoMagic permalink

          I try not to hand up on people I don’t know. It gets awkward fast.

          Adores: 11
      • 2010 September 3
        Grampdaddy permalink

        Off Topic from Taco’s problem, but:

        WHOO-HOO WINDROSE! – NICE new avatar….

        Wait, where did it go??? Urban ninja avatar?

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          Windrose permalink

          Sorry, Grampdaddy, it took me a while to get my avatars on straight. She’s my alter ego, Demi Moore, from that movie where she played a stripper.

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 September 3
      Artsy Computer Geek permalink

      Just becuz I tri tiping with mugs …..

      Try frozen french fries for Tron and the whiskey for you — that seem to work with both my kids.

      Adores: 1
  8. 2010 September 3
    Is.An.Avatar permalink

    What a grizzly sight – I can’t bear to look.

    Adores: 11
    • 2010 September 3
      TacoMagic permalink

      That’s a pretty good pun for Ursidae morning.

      Adores: 5
    • 2010 September 3
      MandaB permalink

      You think so, Taco? I think it’s unbearable.

      Adores: 6
    • 2010 September 3
      Windrose permalink

      Something about this is making me want to hibernate until Spring.

      Adores: 5
    • 2010 September 3

      Mr. Bear is oso terrifying. Imagine running into him in the Arctic.

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 September 3
        Is.An.Avatar permalink

        oso – Heh! Memories from long ago: ditching school and going to San Luis to buy Oso Negro gin and vodka. The bottles had a little black bear on a chain around the neck (of the bottle). Thanks for the memories Bridgete…….

        Adores: 2
  9. 2010 September 3
    MandaB permalink

    The creepiest thing about this ad? When you call to ask about the vases, Teddy Ruxpin answers.

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 September 3
      TacoMagic permalink

      Great, now I’m visualizing a Teddy Ruxpin version of Chucky.

      Wonderful, no sleep tonight.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 September 3
        sarajean80 permalink

        Like you would be getting any sleep anyway.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          TacoMagic permalink

          You win this round, SJ.

          *Squints*

          *Falls Asleep*

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 September 3
          sarajean80 permalink

          The Victorian practice of giving babies “soothing drops” (containing morphine, cocaine, cannabis extract, and/or alcohol) is starting to make a little more sense now, isn’t it?

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 September 3
          TacoMagic permalink

          Best advice my grandmother ever gave me:

          “That oral jelly stuff doesn’t work very well. Use either whisky, Scotch, or bourbon. Pour a shot and stick your finger in it. Rub the finger on the kid’s gums. Do that a few times then do one or two on his tongue. Then, take the rest of the shot down yourself. You’ll both feel much better. Oh, and use the good stuff, a baby can tell the difference between top shelf and gut rotter.”

          Works like a friggin’ charm on those really bad teething nights.

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 September 3

          *waves hand in air*

          My dad employed this method when a tooth extraction was necessary on me. Worked like a charm. I actually looked forward to losing teeth. Can’t imagine why. I assume he did this same thing when the teeth were making their initial appearance. I still have a fondness for an occasional nip.

          Taco, my baby granddaughter is going through the same thing (10 months old). She gnaws on everything in sight and sleep is scattered at best. Her parents look old beyond their years. Only advice I can give them is that this too shall pass.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          sarajean80 permalink

          My Gramma had very similar advice for my sister when she was pregnant with her first. My sister was very full of matt-quality righteous indignation (“I can’t do that to my precious child!”) until about halfway through the second sleepless week. Then she borrowed some Wild Turkey from my dad since she was underage at the time. I think she would have robbed an ABC store to get some sleep.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          EclecticBlue permalink

          Really? The oragel works pretty well on MiniEB… That, and we’ve got some homeopathicish melty pills from Walmart for teething…. his sitter popped those in his mouth all day yesterday, and he actually slept last night :-D And I know this sounds dumb, but did you actually try the wet-washcloth-in-freezer yet? I thought it was silly, and just kept giving MiniEB the rubbery frozen things, and he kept chucking them across the room… But one day I couldn’t find the rubbery frozen things, and gave him a frozen washcloth (it really only takes about 10 minutes to freeze enough) and he gnawed on the thing for a while. It seemed to help… Again, I know everyone and their sister talks about the wet washcloth thing, but it actually IS better than the teething toys :-)

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 September 3
        Kae permalink

        Oh, great, and me spending Labor Day at my in-laws, where MIL still has BIL’s old “My Buddy” doll laid out on a spare room bed, waiting to ambush you when you walk in the room. Now I just KNOW there’s a Teddy Ruxpin under the bed, waiting to get my ankles with a shattered crystal vase, and to charge me for the honor.

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 September 3
          sarajean80 permalink

          I’m picturing something similar to that scene from Pet Sematary with the undead child under the bed with the scalpel.

          That part made me take a running leap to get into bed for weeks.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          TacoMagic permalink

          Just remember, monsters can’t penetrate the sheet.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 September 3
          Kae permalink

          No, Taco, monsters can’t penetrate 100% cotton sheets.

          Problem is, MIL is a big believer in permapress…

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          mudslicker permalink

          Mummies can penetrate Egyptian cotton sheets.

          Hide the tana leaves!

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 September 3
          Kae permalink

          The problems with the Rules of the Supernatural is that there always seem to be loopholes. Who wrote these things, anyway?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 September 3
          TacoMagic permalink

          The monsters did.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          Kae permalink

          And we LET them?

          I think we might deserve to get eaten.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Gee, Kae, lots of folks would find that a “Happy Thought”.

          What?!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          TacoMagic permalink

          Well, at least it’ll end happily.

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 September 3

        Manda, how would that be any different from any other Teddy Ruxspin?

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          MandaB permalink

          Oh, Teddy Ruxpin is ALWAYS terrifying. I am just thinking about calling up thinking you’d only have the horrors of Sparky to deal with…and getting…him. *bloodcurdling scream*

          Adores: 1
  10. 2010 September 3
    Mindfield permalink

    Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear
    Fuzzy has a vase, a pair!
    Fuzzy wuzzy isn’t fussy, buddy

    Adores: 14
    • 2010 September 3
      TacoMagic permalink

      Fuzzy Wuzzy says to sell
      Or you’ll go to Fuzzy Hell
      And Fuzzy Wuzzy makes you his fuzzy buddy.

      Adores: 12
      • 2010 September 3
        Mindfield permalink

        Fuzzy wuzzy has some stock
        Fuzzy wuzzy packs a Glock
        Buy or he will shoot you in the muzzy

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 September 3
          TacoMagic permalink

          Fuzzy Wuzzy a rather unsavory character it seems.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          Mindfield permalink

          After that whole shaven bear prank his friends pulled on him he just kinda snapped and turned to a life of crime. Now he’s the don of the Ursa Major Syndicate selling fermented berries smuggled inside salmon and trout and laundering the money through Craigslist.

          Adores: 5
      • 2010 September 3
        CapnMac permalink

        All this FuzztWuzzy chatter has Kipling rattling around my head–none seems apt to our snark, though.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 September 3

          You could probably adapt “Boots” pretty easily. Also:
          Boy to girl, “Do you like Kipling?”
          Girl to boy, “I don’t know, you naughty boy, I’ve never kippled!”
          Oxford Book of Quotations. Unknown.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          Astrognash permalink

          Ooh! Jokes!

          Okay, so there are these two guys digging holes in the sun. Their boss is over in the shade by a tree. One guy says to his buddy, “Hey, how come he’s over there and we’re doing all the work?” His buddy says, “Uh… I dunno, Booboo, I’ll go ask him.”

          So he goes over to his boss, and says, “Hey boss, how come we’re down there digging holes, and you’re here doing nothing?”

          His boss says, “Well, I’ve got something you don’t. Intelligence.”

          “Intelligence? What’s that?”

          “Here, I’ll show you.” The boss puts his hand on the tree trunk, and says, “Here. Hit my hand as hard as you can.” The worker pulls back his hand, and lets fly a punch. At the last second, the boss pulls away, and the worker hits the tree. After the boss gets him some ice for his hand, he goes back to worker.

          The first guy says, “Hey, did the boss tell you?”

          “Yeah. He said he’s got intelligence.”

          “Intelligence? What’s that?”

          “Here, I’ll show you.” The worker puts his hand on his face and says, “Here, take your shovel and hit my hand with it as hard as you can.”

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3

          Sorry, should have been Bartletts Familiar Quotations.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3

          Okay, so there are these two guys digging holes in the sun

          So what were they digging for, helium?

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 September 3
          Astrognash permalink

          I think we’ve established that they weren’t the sharpest tools in the shed.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3

          No but they would be the brightest if they were digging holes in the sun.*

          * At least briefly as they flashed into plasma.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          CapnMac permalink

          Ah, that does pose a question, how they’d survive the trip through the coronasphere. Now, given the heat difference between the mere surface of the sun and the plasma in the corona, perhaps they just beamed to the surface.

          Alternately, we could take Astro’s assertion a step further, and suppose that they might be so simple as to not know that they are supposed to combust in 6000 kelvin plasma.

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 September 3
      Grampdaddy permalink

      Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear,
      Fuzzy Wuzzy had a pair…..

      of vases, you degenerates……

      geez!

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 September 3

        Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear
        Fuzzy Wuzzy had orange hair
        But it wasn’t orange down there
        Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn’t a real redhead was he?

        Adores: 2
  11. 2010 September 3

    Holy CBCJSC*

    *Cinnamon Bear Clothespin Jeebus Spice Christ

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 September 3
      TacoMagic permalink

      Isnt’ this bear a Ginger though?

      Or is… he… too…

      Awww, look at the cute puppy!

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 September 3
        Astrognash permalink

        I say he’s more a Tangerine Bear.

        Adores: 1
    • 2010 September 3
      MandaB permalink

      Squeeeeeeeee! Puppy!!! What’s that puppy? You want to eat the bear and steal the vases? Ok, puppy! Anything the cutest puppy wuppy wants!

      *rubs puppy belly*

      I know…it’s a trap. I don’t care anymore. Puppy. Too. Cute.

      Adores: 5
    • 2010 September 3

      D’aww. Is that a border collie puppy? My dog is half border collie. They’re such cute dogs.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 September 3

        No, It is a Cardigan (Not related to the sweater)
        You cannot cross a Cardigan with a Border Collie, well you can but they can’t go out in the rain because they would be CardBord…

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 September 3
          MandaB permalink

          Hammy, how long have you been waiting to use that joke?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3

          Oh, I use it when the opportunity arises :-)

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 September 3
        MandaB permalink

        You know, if you cross breeds again you could get some CardBord Boxers.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          Astrognash permalink

          That sounds extremely uncomfortable.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3

          Well, the way genetics works you would more likely get Bord Boxers playing Cards.*

          *Wait, this explains the painting!

          Adores: 2
  12. 2010 September 3
    Irregular Fractal permalink

    I ASSURE YOU THE VASE MARKET IS OPEN

    Adores: 9
    • 2010 September 3
      Windrose permalink

      I’m not even supposed to be here today!

      Adores: 5
  13. 2010 September 3

    OT: Taco, Facebook just informed me that I haven’t talked to you in a while and I should write on your wall. Clearly Facebook believes it has, in fact, achieved its goal of taking over the world and thus any interaction outside its bounds does not exist.

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 September 3
      mudslicker permalink

      Must submit to FB!!!

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 September 3
      TacoMagic permalink

      You’re so mean for not talking to me B! Why won’t you ever talk to me?

      The isolation is stifling!

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 September 3
        Windrose permalink

        Great, now we’re doing an episode of South Park! Can I be Chef?

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 September 3

          Why, of course you can be Chef!

          I’m…this random French girl I created. Bonjour!

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 September 3
          sarajean80 permalink

          You can tell she’s French because she’s wearing a beret.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3

          Oui, exactement! ;)

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3

          Gravatar is trying to reveal my secret identity again…

          Edit: Ignore this, I fixed it.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          mudslicker permalink

          “Viva La Revolución! Blame Canada.

          Love the avatar Bridgete.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          Addicted Reader permalink

          Cute avatar, Bridgete, but it’s not so secret if you use the same name and blog address…

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          EclecticBlue permalink

          Everyone keeps jumping on the bandwagon… I WAS HERE FIRST!!!!!!!!!! [/matt;-)]

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          TacoMagic permalink

          If it helps, I’m too lazy to change my avatar more than once every 6 months.

          And even then I just dig up my 8-bit sprite sheets and dump a box around one.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3

          This one isn’t supposed to be secret. One of my other avatars randomly showed up for a while, after I’d already seen the South Park one show up, so it wasn’t a refresh problem.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3

          EB, I’ve actually had the South Park avatar for a long time, I just didn’t use it when I started commenting here. It’s still my avatar on my blog. ;)

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          EclecticBlue permalink

          Yeah yeah yeah… So you say :-p (I actually have South Parked versions of a bunch of coworkers on my computer. We were going to do a webcomic featuring a particularly crazy/insane/socially inept colleague, but it never happened)

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3

          I’m getting both cat and South Park Bridgete

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3

          I know, Kelli. Different email addresses. ;)

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          CapnMac permalink

          Isn’t the new Brazilian bf going to be confused if you call him Stan?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 September 3

          I mostly call him chéri, which works with the little French SP girl anyway.

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 September 3
      Meredith permalink

      Ha, I was thinking the same thing. Sometimes I think checking FB is like working at Chotchkie’s.

      “Bridgete, we need to talk about your wall posts”.

      “Really? I-I posted 4 new status updates this week. I also liked ‘Like this if you support the troops’ and linked to 2 funny pictures of small animals.”

      “Now, you know, it’s up to you whether or not you wanna just do the bare minimum or, uh– Well, like SJ, for example, has 37 status updates today. And a terrific smile.”

      “Okay, so you want me to wall post more?”

      “Look, we want you to express yourself. Okay? Now, if you feel that the bare minimum is enough, then okay. But some people choose to update their status and wall post more and we encourage that. Okay? You do wanna express yourself, don’t you?”

      Adores: 12
      • 2010 September 3
        sarajean80 permalink

        I don’t update 37 times a day. Unless you count Farmville, ’cause then that would sound about right.

        I did have a non-Farmville post last night, it was a video of my awesomely adorable nieces (eventually) saying “Ronald McDonald is an evil clown.”

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 September 3
          Meredith permalink

          I was just using your name. Scrolled up and picked somebody. :)

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          TacoMagic permalink

          The same method I use for my occasional Soap Opera posts.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          sarajean80 permalink

          Darn. I thought it was because I was so popular, but it’s because I’m a chronic commenter.

          :sigh:

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 September 3
        Not My Name permalink

        I may be the only person of my generation, in the middle class, in the U.S., who does not belong to Facebook….or Myspace….or Twitter…..

        Adores: 1
  14. 2010 September 3
    TacoMagic permalink

    C’mon down to Mr. Bears used car depot and get the most car for your buck!

    We have sedans, compacts, trucks, SUVs, sports cars, mini vans, and more! You name it, we either have it or can get it!

    We’ll also give you top dollar trade in for your less than pristine car!

    Hit a deer and need a new car? No problem, we’ll give you double it’s value in trade in! And if the deer is still stuck to the car Mr. Bear will give you TRIPPLE the trade in!

    And head in right now for Salmon Days! If you bring Mr. Bear a fresh fish, he’ll give you 20% off the purchase of any car made before 2005! And no payments until 2012!

    Cut! Ok, Mr. Bear we like the energy, but as we told you, there is NO such thing as Salmon Days! Lets-

    Like hell there isn’t! RAWR OM NOM NOM NOM

    Oh gods, not another director! Somebody get the tranquilizers and cattle prods!

    Adores: 10
    • 2010 September 3
      mudslicker permalink

      Can I cut a deal with a pick-a-nick basket?

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 September 3
      TacoMagic permalink

      Crap! I missed an apostrophe and Ajax just timed out.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 September 3
        sarajean80 permalink

        And there is an extra P in there as well.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          TacoMagic permalink

          I like having the extra P in tripple, makes it seem like a more impish word.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3

          I wondered if that was intentional, because it makes it look like nipple.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          EclecticBlue permalink

          I definitely don’t appreciate extra P, particularly when it misses the diaper.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 September 3
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Ah, EB – I understand the extra ‘P’ aversion, but how do you feel about extra nipple?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          TacoMagic permalink

          The list of things I never wanted to picture in my head now includes Grampdaddy’s third nipple.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 September 3
          mudslicker permalink

          Bonus nipp+ple! Buy two get one free!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          Grampdaddy permalink

          TM – you’re projecting again. Just settle back and relax and it will all be better.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 4
          EclecticBlue permalink

          MiniEB might have an extra nipple. We’re not quite sure… The doctor said to give it a while and see what happens :-p

          Adores: 0
  15. 2010 September 3

    Beautiful Crystal Vases
    *Anagram fun with bears*

    Bear Vacates Suits Fully (Ewwwww)

    Bear Avails Fussy Cutlet (Picky veal?)

    Five Casual Slutty Bears (Naughty bears!)

    Avast Bear Sulfites Lucy (Pirate ursine feeds Ms. Ball preservatives)

    Bear Cafe Uvula Stylists (Yodeling Yogis)

    Suave Bear Flays Cultist (Pay back for Jim Jones)

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 September 3
      MandaB permalink

      Rule 34 guarantees there is probably a movie out there titled “Goldilocks and the Five Casual Slutty Bears”.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 September 3

        I was flipping through the Direct TV channel guide last night and there was a movie on MAX called, “The Devil Wears Nada”
        Made me snicker :-)

        Adores: 7
        • 2010 September 3

          Made me snicker

          Is that what you call your private time Ham?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3

          No, that would be butterfingers…

          What?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3

          Must keep dairy products away from Ham.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3

          Margarine

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3

          And I will never look at margarine in the same way again.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          mudslicker permalink

          *Milky Way*

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          sarajean80 permalink

          You have officially ruined one of my favorite candy bars.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          Grampdaddy permalink

          *Almond Joy*

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          zodiac permalink

          They get a little crazy with those movies Ham, HBO had one called “Cleavagefield” the other night. And alone time in my house is either “flicking the bean” or “snapping the bean” depending on the err…plumbing of your bean facility.

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 September 3
        MandaB permalink

        I never want to see a ham and cheese sammich again.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          TacoMagic permalink

          *Holds up index finger and opens mouth*

          *Closes mouth*

          There is a new nickname in the Taco Household.

          I’m not telling what’s been nicknamed, but in the right lighting…

          Adores: 1
  16. 2010 September 3
    Not My Name permalink

    Obviously, the person was trying to take a picture of the beautiful vases, but was attacked by a…ummm…how to put this….furry little person….so, the poster decided to run away, and post pictures of a fireplace, while hoping no one would notice that there were no pictures of the vases. Also, they got a picture of their attacker, hoping someone on Craigslist could give advice on how to deal with a…furry little person…

    What line? I didn’t cross a line. Or did I?

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 September 3
      Not My Name permalink

      I guess no one got what I was getting at…thought someone would….or maybe I went too far past the line? Anyone?

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 September 3
        TacoMagic permalink

        I think we got it, but I think the humor is a little young for this audience.

        We like our innuendo to be more pun based. Or along the lines of there being a chunk missing that is suggestive with its absence.

        Granted we don’t like having those chunks missing in actual real world situations.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          sarajean80 permalink

          Missing bits are almost always messy and someone usually ends up with some sort of hospital or jail time.

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 September 3
      CapnMac permalink

      hmm, are you suggesting Sparq was answering a CL ad, you know, one uh, ah, vases! Yeah, vases! And when they showed up with a camera and a stuftbar the house was empty except for Chris Hansen and a tv crew?

      Adores: 0
  17. 2010 September 3

    Mr. Sparkjangles


    I knew a bear Sparkjangles and he’d sell to you
    Some worn out ewers
    With Cinnamon hair, no shirt, and hidden pants
    The old soft sell
    He bought so high, bought so high
    Then his stocks went down

    I met him in a house in [Location] he was
    down and out
    He looked to me to have button eyes
    as he spoke right out
    He talked of pairs, talked of pairs, he laughed
    wiggled his ears and stopped

    He said his name “Sparkjangles” and he threw in the sticks
    the candle holders as well
    He looked for his pants and then took a chance,
    Oh his price so high, and then he said OBO or free
    He went down in price, went down in price
    and then found his clothes on the ground

    Mr. Sparkjangles, Mr. Sparkjangles
    Mr. Sparkjangles, no pants

    Adores: 6
  18. 2010 September 3
    Addicted Reader permalink

    If Mr. Bear says “SELL,” why would I buy anything? I’m going to go look for useless crap decorative items in my house to sell on CL!

    Adores: 2
  19. 2010 September 3
    EclecticBlue permalink

    So is anyone else having troubles with the site? It seems like most of the times that I post, I get this message:

    400 Bad Request

    nginx

    And then I can’t load the page for a few minutes. Longest few minutes of my life! (wait, is that too pathetic sounding…? -_-)

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 September 3
      CapnMac permalink

      That’s hit me for a while now in FF on my desktop machine. I have to use IE if I’m at my desk. If I use the tablet, it’s mix of FF install (and, possibly, a vagarity of XP for Tablet) seem to prevent hte problem.

      Every so often, on Replies mostly, I’ll get the 400 Error. The reply usually goes throug, but I have to close IE and restart it to find out. Which also resets any adores I’ve given, too. Which becomes annoying, I have to start at the top and work back down to where ever I was. Again.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 September 3
        TacoMagic permalink

        You had enough coffee today Capn? You’re spelling today is almost as dodgy as mine is.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          CapnMac permalink

          Yeah, under-caffineated; over filled with fluid; under-rested. Tuened way at the plasma center, too–so, I’ve wasted all the prep to be ahead of selling 900g of plasma.

          But, I have an interview at 0915 Tuesday.

          Adores: 0
  20. 2010 September 3
    Windrose permalink

    Looking at the ad photos again, I wonder why they have a picture of a window over their fireplace? Does it lead to Narnia? And why aren’t they selling that and the candlesticks with candles? ‘Tis a puzzlement.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 September 3

      Does it lead to Narnia?,?blockquote>

      No it leads to Care-a-Lot and the Forest of Feelings

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 September 3

        That was supposed to be…*

        Does it lead to Narnia

        No it leads to Care-a-Lot and the Forest of Feelings

        P.S. I think Sparkies bear is Love-U-Long-Time bear

        *I forgot question marks make it all funkified.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          mudslicker permalink

          I’m glad you did that Hammy. I think I was on the beach during the tutorial that taught everyone how to snag a quote because when I got back nearly everyone-who-was-anyone was all of a sudden using it.

          So I take it it’s [blockquote] text [/blockquote] in tag marks?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3

          yup

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 September 3
          mudslicker permalink

          *pets the cute puppy on the head*

          ‘Spanks Hammy!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3

          Don’t forget the butter!

          *What line?*

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3

          Pssssssssst, if you right click in your browser window and then click “view source” you can see all the code for the entire site. Use CTRL+f to search for the bits of text.

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 September 3
      CapnMac permalink

      Candlestix and painting are props owned by the RE agent selling the foreclosed house.

      Or, they are part of Chris Hansen’s set dressing.

      Adores: 0
  21. 2010 September 3

    Slightly OT, but I signed up to get texts from the merchants near the University offering discounts. Today I got one from Johnny Rockets offering a

    FREE ENTRIE (Save up to $10!) w purch of Entrie @reg price

    I can forgive most of the txtspk, but how does a restaurant misspell entree?

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 September 3
      mudslicker permalink

      That’s EXACTLY how they spell it at Cake Wrecks!!!!

      Yup….it’s gotta be right.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 September 3

        My favorite Wreck was the Happy Faulker Satherhood.

        Adores: 8
    • 2010 September 3
      Grampdaddy permalink

      Maybe the entrie is around in back?

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 September 3

        But only for… for… whathisname… the guy with the hippo-mouthed avatar!

        **picks up phone.**

        What’s that, Mr. Sharpton?

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3

          By the way, a question for drmk:

          If you can see it, have Google searches for “Al Sharpton” ever offered YSaC any hits?

          Adores: 1
  22. 2010 September 3
    Depressy permalink

    Depressy get .17¢ royalty for every random unrelated figure in craigslist ads! Do not mock them or you will incur Depressy’s wrath!

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 September 3
      Mr. Winkey, the Six Dollar Shirts Hobo permalink

      You only get 17 hundredths of a cent?

      Wow.

      I get a 15¢ royalty* for every creepy and totally out of place being which appears in the ads on the sidebar.

      *It goes straight to eye glitter, beard extensions, and bubble wrap.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 September 3
        CapnMac permalink

        [royalty corey] Actually fractional-cent royalties are pretty common. That’s why it’s so important if an album sells a 100,000, a million, 10 million copies–if you are earning 1.5¢ each, a million salse is some coin.
        [/corey]

        Adores: 0
      • 2010 September 3
        Depressy permalink

        Depressy’s agent said it was good deal. Now Depressy may have to kill agent.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          LimeLolly permalink

          Don’t forget the lime and scissors!

          Adores: 1
  23. 2010 September 3

    What in Bob’s name is that fuzzy thing next to Mr. Bear? Is that his cat overlord? Does the cat control Mr. Bear and Mr. Bear control Sparky?

    Or even worse, is that fuzzy thing a part of his anatomy that might need the kleenex that sj suggested?

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 September 3
      sarajean80 permalink

      Don’t drag me into the gutter, that was Mudsy.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 September 3
        mudslicker permalink

        Maaaaaa! sarajean’s blaming me for shit again.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 September 3

          You girls go to my room until you can learn to play nice!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          mudslicker permalink

          Okay, I guess we’ll never see the light of day then.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3

          Start running if Ham pulls out butter or margarine.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3

          What about Crisco?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3

          That depends, is it vintage?

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 September 3
          sarajean80 permalink

          I would think you would be against us playing nice.

          Naughty girls are more fun.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3

          I would think you would be against us, playing nice

          As a matter of fact that’s exactly where I’ll be…

          What?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          sarajean80 permalink

          Where did that stray comma come from? That ain’t mine.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          Windrose permalink

          Who else thinks it’s high time Hammy had a date?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          mudslicker permalink

          Hammy is salt cured. His expiration date can go on forever.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3

          Yes, yes it can*

          *pun intended

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          CapnMac permalink

          Dunno from HC, but it’s been so long since I had a date, I can’t remember if they are tart or sweet . . .

          Hmm, a vauge memory of dipping dates in honey and rolling them with nuts . . .

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 September 3
          Astrognash permalink

          **splutters**

          I always knew the resident seaman* would eventually cross the line.

          What’s that you say?

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 September 3

        Sorry sj.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          sarajean80 permalink

          I’m kinda surprised it wasn’t me.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3

          I’m really maligning your reputation this week. Yesterday I called you cheap a bargain and today I’m putting you in the gutter.

          *I’d put myself in Hammie’s room but he has a tub of peanut butter open, so I’m thinking he needs some alone time.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          sarajean80 permalink

          I have a reputation?!?

          Cool.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          mudslicker permalink

          sj does a perfectly sublime job of maligning her own reputation—daily!

          Don’t sweat it Kelli.

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 September 3

      **What in Bob’s name is that fuzzy thing next to Mr. Bear?**

      That’s Mrs. Bear.
      She likes to watch.

      Whose Line Is It Anyway?

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 September 3
        Astrognash permalink

        [Matt]You people and your assumptions! How do you know it’s not the other Mr. Bear, huh? How do you know that the Rule 34 mandatory Yogi and Booboo shippers were wrong? Huh?[/Matt]

        :P

        Adores: 1
  24. 2010 September 3
    LimeLolly permalink

    Because sharing is caring:

    Said a flea to a fly in a flue,
    Said the flea “Oh, what shall we do?”
    Said the fly “Let us flee,”
    Said the flea “Let us fly,”
    So they flew through a flaw in the flue

    Adores: 3
  25. 2010 September 3
    KittyShark permalink

    I know where the other two bears and Goldilocks went…

    *urp*

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 September 3
      mudslicker permalink

      Better watch it. Hunters are coming. You’ll be hanging from the backyard swing set with your pawfins bedazzled.

      “….and this one is just right!”

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 September 3
        KittyShark permalink

        Not afraid of hunters in their flimsy little boats…

        Now, fisherman…
        *shudders*

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          sarajean80 permalink

          Aren’t “fishermen” and “hunters in boats” the same thing?

          Or am I the only one who ever went fishing with a .22?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3

          No, not the only one…

          Only switch .22 for 12ga or .30-06 (or M80′s)

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          sarajean80 permalink

          We only used the .22 on snakes and turtles. Maybe the occasional bass or catfish that did not go quietly into that good night.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          Not My Name permalink

          I personally go with a gatling gun and a large stock of warheads, but that’s just my fishing trip….

          Adores: 2
  26. 2010 September 3
    Windrose permalink

    And now it’s time for a musical interlude:

    Who’s the king of animals in Location?
    Who’s the one that brought the vases fame?
    Who designs the florals in Location?
    Mr. Bear the Scary is his name!

    Singalong, every one!

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 September 3
      mudslicker permalink

      COURAGE!!!

      Oh…that’s something else.

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 September 3
      camille permalink

      My goodness, Windrose, is that the “Kimba the White Lion” song?

      Now I feel about a million years old.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 September 3
        Drum Captain permalink

        Got it in one, camille! The first anime, I believe.

        Adores: 1
    • 2010 September 3
      TacoMagic permalink

      Wow, Windy. What’s with the *ghrkgl*

      *hrrm* Sorry, choked on my drool for some reason there.

      Anyway, what’s going on with the… new…

      Sorry, my mind wandered for some reason…

      What was I talking about again?

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 September 3
        Drum Captain permalink

        There, Taco, I fixed it so your comments make sense again. Well, sort of make sense.

        Adores: 1
  27. 2010 September 3

    To quote EB “THE WORLD MUST KNOW” I’ve had this ditty stuck in my head all day…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZjoxSDEvbo

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 September 3
      EclecticBlue permalink

      HAhaha, that’s hilarious! I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before… bump bump :-p

      Adores: 1
  28. 2010 September 3
    Astrognash permalink

    The final tally for the Ish Not.A.Lion. Regiment Marching Band. All other commentators wishing to join will have to wait until November. Or ask really, really nicely and hope I haven’t actually done anything with this list yet.

    ~The Ish Not.A.Lion. Regiment Marching Drum and Brass Band~
    Hailing from Ish, Guatsusnake County, Kclhm

    ~Marchers of Rank~

    CapnMac – Drum Major
    Astrognash – Field Commander
    Dan – Brass Captain
    Windrose – Drum Captain
    Lola – Guard Captain

    ~Hornline~

    EclecticBlue – Trumpet 1
    Camille – Trumpet 2
    Bianchi Sound – Trumpet 3

    Grampdaddy – Mellophone 1
    Dan – Mellophone 2
    MandaB – Mellophone 3

    Moira – Baritone 1
    Drmk – Baritone 2
    Astrognash – Baritone 3

    SpaceBug – Contrabass 1

    ~Drumline~

    SilvaNoir – First Bass
    Sarajean80 – Second Bass
    NotMyName – Third Bass
    Christina – Quint Drum 1
    Windrose – Quint Drum 2
    Bridgete – Snare Drum 1
    Lou Stool – Snare Drum 2

    ~Color Guard~

    Lola – Flag 1
    Kelli – Flag 2
    ArchedEyebrows – Flag 3
    HamCan – Flag 4

    ~Staff~

    Director- Kitty Shark
    Drill Instructor- Depressey
    Brassline Instructor- Al Sharpton
    Drumline/Pit Instructor- Bacontini
    Color Guard Instructor- Mr. Winkey

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 September 3
      Not.A.HappyMeal permalink

      Can I be the unofficial caterer?

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 September 3
        mudslicker permalink

        Can I be in charge of molehills on the field?

        I have a couple of mountains I want to erect.

        Adores: 1
    • 2010 September 3
      sarajean80 permalink

      Look, I made it to second base bass with Astro!

      :phone rings:

      Umm … did we ever find out what CPS stands for?

      Adores: 12
      • 2010 September 3
        kelli permalink

        NMN made it all the way to third base bass with Astro and now some guy from Dateline wants to see NMN in the kitchen.

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 September 3
          sarajean80 permalink

          Is it some guy named Chris?

          Someone by that name is trying to call me on line two.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 September 3
          kelli permalink

          Yeah, and his last name is like some weird soft drink brand.

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 September 3
        TacoMagic permalink

        Yay, I get to play as first chair left out!

        I didn’t even know we had try outs for band this month. Guess I was distracted by the sliced coffee in the “Free Candy” van.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          Astrognash permalink

          Well, I haven’t started anything yet with them, so if you ask really nicely to play something which isn’t drums…

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          CapnMac permalink

          Wait, bad enough I amost missed band try-outs, but who took Candy into custody? Have they set her bail? Has Amnesty International been told?

          I mean, really! Marsbar!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          Astrognash permalink

          Also, Taco (if you come back), I’d like to let you know that you also can’t apply for guard, because, well, with the uniform, that would mean I’d have condoned you whipping out the TacoThong.

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 September 3
      Meredith permalink

      I didn’t wanna be in your stupid marching band anyway. I’d much rather lean against the school wall and smoke and make snarky comments about you nerds. Yeah, I’m too cool.

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 September 3
        TacoMagic permalink

        Wanna join Jazz Choir with me Meredith?

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          Meredith permalink

          Only if you don’t tell the other kids. I don’t want them giving me the business at the malt shop.

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 September 3
        LimeLolly permalink

        I’ve saved you a spot. :) I have popsicles and alkyhol adult beverages.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          Meredith permalink

          Cool, man. We’re never gonna conform. Down with the man!

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 September 3
          TacoMagic permalink

          Psst, your conformity to non-conformity is showing.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          LimeLolly permalink

          Who’s conforming?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          TacoMagic permalink

          Those who aren’t conforming are.

          (Give me a few minutes, I’m not conforming as fast as I can)

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3
          TacoMagic permalink

          Waaaaaaiiiiiit for it… waaaaaiiiiiiit for it.

          With the twin powers activate. Form of non-conformity!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          TacoMagic permalink

          Apparently I can’t really do a non-conformist conversion that well. I look like either a mime or a Noh Shite.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 September 3
          EclecticBlue permalink

          Haha, Emo Taco :-p

          Adores: 3
  29. 2010 September 3
    Drum Captain permalink

    When do I get my instrument?

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 September 3
      TacoMagic permalink

      Oh, your new pictur moved. Now my other… comment… *Drool*

      Wuh uh… duh muh?

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 September 3
      LimeLolly permalink

      I’m thinking, no one’s going to care if you have an instrument.?!?!

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 September 3
        Grampdaddy permalink

        I think she might have two ….

        and Astro, I want off mellophone. I want to play the…. cups.

        Adores: 4
      • 2010 September 3
        sarajean80 permalink

        They will all be distracted by the shiny shoulder knees, allowing us to vanquish or opponents and soak the turf with their blood!

        What do you mean it’s not that kind of band? But I just got my barbarian furs dry cleaned!

        Adores: 2
    • 2010 September 3
      Astrognash permalink

      Windrose, that’s the color guard’s uniform! In fact… **checks number** Yes, that is, in fact, HamCan’s specific uniform.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 September 3

        *tries to picture a puppy in a sparkly bikini*
        *gets dizzy*

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 September 3

          It’s intended to be reminiscent of Luxury Woman, with a hint of reference to the mermaids from Titanic 2: Mermaid Saviors.

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 September 3
        Grampdaddy permalink

        Titanic 2: Mermaid Saviors

        Astro – is that going to be the name of our field show? Subtitled “The Day the Baritones Blew” ?

        I can barely wait to see the color guards routine!

        Suggested music:

        Copland: Fanfare for the Common Man

        South Pacific: Gonna Wash That Man Right Outa My Hair

        Rolling Stones: Satisfaction

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 September 3
          Astrognash permalink

          Actually, the show is You Suck at Craigslist.

          The repertoire is:

          Red Table for Sale – Phillip Glass
          A Very Craigslist Musical: An Anthology of HamCan – HamCan, arr. Astrognash
          Spambot Overture – Cleverbot

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 September 4

          I would pay money to see this show.

          Adores: 3
    • 2010 September 3
      Drum Captain permalink

      Taco, LimeLolly, Grampdaddy,thanks! Sarajean, don’t give the whole plan away! Astro, you’ll just have to change it. I’m not giving up this delightful outfit. Even Silva thinks it would look silly on Hammy.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 September 3

        Well, at least let me try it in on for size.

        What?

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 3
          Windrose permalink

          When we have the MASSIVE LINK YSaC convention in Las Vegas, I’m thinking of having a hundred or more buttons made up that read “What?” It has become a meme in itself. And that way when we cross a line innocently, we can just point to the button. May have to make rules about where the button can be worn.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 September 3

          The buttons should say.

          You suck my Meme!

          What?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 September 3
          CapnMac permalink

          Why do I now imagine that there will be a door person and a velvet rope we all have to cross to get to the snark and crackers?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 September 4
          EclecticBlue permalink

          I WANT A LAS VEGAS YSAC CONVENTION.

          *ahem*

          Yeah, that would be cool.

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 September 3

      Windrose! This is marching band, not try-outs for Vixen’s new drummer.

      *Yeah, I had their album, I was in 9th grade.

      Adores: 4
  30. 2010 September 3
    CapnMac permalink

    1526 CDT, I get here and there’s already 212 responses. Almost daunting.

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 September 3
      mudslicker permalink

      You always get here late now, Cappy. Usually after I’ve shut down the monitor.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 September 3
        CapnMac permalink

        Been the story of my days of late. Go and beat the bushes looking for $20, or $30 worth of work, then hit the plasma center if that does not pan out. Makes it late in the afternoon by any definition.

        Ok, all the way to the bottom but for EB’s comment, and only took until 1642CDT

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 September 3
          zodiac permalink

          Dont worry Capn, I just started posting and get here around 1720 eastern time. Dang 12 hour night shifts…

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 September 3
      Drum Captain permalink

      Oooh, Shiney!

      Adores: 1
  31. 2010 September 3
    EclecticBlue permalink

    OT: I posted desk pictures on Facebook, too… I even tagged random stuff in them :-p

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 September 3

      I like the dictionary monitor stand, I had a couple reams of paper under my monitor once ;-)

      I can’t take pictures at work…

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 September 4
        EclecticBlue permalink

        I don’t think I have the equipment to ream paper.

        What?

        Adores: 2
  32. 2010 September 3

    OT-ish: I haven’t had as much time as I had hoped to get in some late night snark (ater dark snark?) because we decided to get an early start on putting the house back together. I’m in charge of painting the base boards and my husband told me to make sure I don’t leave any lines. I told him not to worry, I’ve had plenty of practice making lines disappear.

    Adores: 8
    • 2010 September 3
      Astrognash permalink

      YOU ATE DARK SNARK!? ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE A (mem)BRANESPLODE THAT WOULD SIMULTANEOUSLY DESTROY THE UNIVERSE AND PROVE M-THEORY!???

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 September 3

        Oh hell, and I can’t even blame meds this time. I broke a nail, does that count?

        Adores: 1
  33. 2010 September 3
    Drum Captain permalink

    I think I’ll stay in uniform for the punching. PeterPuckham, I know you may never pass this way again, but we here at YSaC will remember you for, golly, weeks and weeks! Punchity Punch Punch!

    G’Night, Racine!

    Adores: 1

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