YSaC, Vol. 813: Bicycle cabinets are coming your way!
2010 October 8
!!!!!Curio cabinet!!!!! – $30
Nice little cabinet aprox. 6 1/2 feet tall, has glass shelves not pictured, Please email Me with your # and I’ll get back to You. Thanks
Now at first glance, it may seem that this curio cabinet, while perfectly nice, may not necessarily warrant five exclamation points on BOTH sides of the title. Three, tops. But wait, look closer…
It’s full of BICYCLES! How awesome is that! !!!!!Bicycles, you hear me? BICYCLES!!!!!
Actually, now that I think of it, it’s not really all that awesome. I’ll give you 5 bucks and a lion painting.
Thanks for the link, Amy!
It must be bigger on the inside than it looks on the outside to fit that many bicycles.
OMG, it’s a Tardis! $30 is a steal!
But it’s a glass-paneled TARDIS. Everyone could see that it’s not just an innocent curio cabinet, and then you’ll get everyone asking you questions and wanting a tour and asking if you can take them back to the morning of that time in grade school gym where they were pantsed and they weren’t wearing any underwear so they can put on some skivvies. You’ll never get a moment’s peace. Can you imagine if that well-concealed police call box was instead a transparent phone booth? The Doctor would never have been able to save the world from Cybermen and Daleks, to say nothing of never having any privacy with his hot assistant-du-season.
Unless this particular Type 40 T.A.R.D.I.S. had a proper Chameleon Circuit *Cough-I’mASellOut-Cough* and there was no way it could be damaged or go faulty. Gallifreyan engineering these days. Sheesh.
Are you sure it’s a Tardis? I was thinking it’s just the Clown Car of the Curio Cabinet World. You can’t even see it because there are all of the bikes in there, but there’s an ottum, a French Pervential dinning set, a red table for sale that you can take for free (and speaking of free, there’s a misjay in there that needs to be let out), a couch with both auntie stains AND a possible snake, an armwaihre, some hi-dusting, a toy truck with a few bees in it, somebody’s dead grandma’s nylon stockings, and a winter bagel … and a bunch more, too many to list.
Too bad there isn’t a cardboard cutout of Bea Arthur. *sigh*
You don’t know that, Mudsy. She might be in there behind the dreck and you just can’t see that she is!
I think I see an 8-sided hexagonal table under all the junk. Or maybe it’s a 6-sided octagonal table. It’s hard to tell. I’d like to know if Chester’s drawers are in there.
If there’s a Not.A.Lion blanket in there, I *need* it!
I think there’s a louse-infested poncho in there. Any takers (besides LRC!)….?
The poncho is so last week. I’m bringing back the lice-infested pashmina.
But anything with a name ending in “-eggings” that has lice – if you have it, please keep it to yourself. And away from me. Even though it’s not the lice I’m worried about!
Oh… nice to see that Tommy Hilfiger is branching out in his clothing designs. Nothing says U-S-A like a red, white and blue itchy pashmina.
Hey, I’m looking for a mint-green prom dress…sigh…never worn…it’s a long story…is it in there?
That’s ice-green.
What size you need it in? Elebenty-six?
Ice-cream? Minty please.
Not sure, mudsy…last time I saw it it was hanging on the bedazzled hoof rack.
Pron
I still say the answer is beach blanket bingo.
Look…Sparky used the correct version of “your”….
I weep…
It had to happen one day.
But misspelled “approx.” and apparently believes “me” and “you” are proper nouns. Or gods. Given these balancing characteristics, it’s a good bet that Sparky probably typed “your” and thought to Him/Herself, “That’s probably not spelled right. Oh well. Moving on…”
SmilingPuppyFace…can I just have this moment, please?
I’m sorry, I shall rein in my cynicism for this moment. I will instead imagine Sparky opened up m-w.com (or at least The Oatmeal*) in another tab and looked up the proper form of the word to use before committing it to photons.
* Every Sparky needs to read this: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/misspelling
I pictured a Sparky who somehow knows the difference between your and you’re, is extremely proud of this fact, and therefore thinks that he/she has mastered the nuances of the written word.
My cynicism having no bounds, I’m much more inclined to believe it is one part laziness (too much effort to search for an apostrophe) and one part Auto-Correct being a blind pig and finding the acorn (or should that be ‘eggcorn’?).
CJ — I’m sure it was just a typo.
It’s the Curio Cabinet of Dr. Caligari! Oh, wait. No. No, it isn’t. As you were.
I see no chinchillas though.
Yep, it is.
Miffy vs the Curio Cab’net of Dr. Caligari
by The Royal Gourdsmen
After the turn of a craigslist’s page
In Sparky’s mind it was all the rage
Then came a sound and Sparky’s voice did curl
Like not.a.lion or a screamin’ girl
In the garage, a cab’net insane
Caligari’s Curio was its name
Sparky threw stuff and all of it bad
Sucked up by the Curio on the craigslist ad
{Refrain}
Ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty or more
The Bloody Curio swallowed up the store
Eighty bikes died tryin’ to end that squee
Of the Curio Cab’net of Caligari
In the nick of time, our Miffy arose
A funny-looking dog with a big black nose
Heaved a pumpkin at it for to seek revenge
But the cab’net ate it – “Curses, foiled again!”
{Refrain}
Now Miffy had sworn that she’d stop that crap
So she asked llamanun* for a way to whap
She challenged Curio to a real snarkfest
Curio was laughing, I’m a somnambulist
Now the Curio was in a fix
He’d tried nightmares, but he’d run out of Trix
Miffy threw a rabbit and then a Misjay
And Caligari’s Curio was out of the way.
{Refrain Twice}
!!!!Oh look!!!! It’s a green plastick wllbarro on the back wall next to the coke
sign.
I guess Sparky didn’t have any luck selling his beef marrow. Too bad too, because despite its obvious signs of heavy usage, that treacle arrow looked pretty sturdy.
And here I thought that was a pogo stick….the things you learn around here.
[corey] Actually, it’s a greeen plastick seed spreader [/corey]
But close enuf fer Cletus…
Anything will work as a wllbarro for Cletus to get grandma home from the bar.
*smacking your /coreys*
I love it when you smack my coreys Mudsy…
This may be just me, but aren’t ‘little’ and ‘6 1/2 feet tall’ somewhat on the mutually exclusive side? It’s narrow, I’ll give you that, but I wouldn’t call it ‘little’ exactly.
Not if you’re Yao Ming.
True. But so few of us are.
I’m a little more Shaq than Yao. Besides, this little cabinet goes perfectly with my 6′ small dog.
It’s nice that Sparky’s trying to get rid of the only thing in that garage that has any class.
Lurlene: “Cletus! We got us some more garbage bags full of crap at the last yard sale! Where the hell are we gwonna keep ’em, along with Lurlena Mae’s Barbie scooter?”
Cletus (aka, Sparky): “Sheeit, Lurlene, let’s get rid of the cabinet. It’s just been collectin’ dust in the garage. You can put your crap there.”
Looks like it’s been collecting bicycles.
That has to be the filthiest garage in the world if the dust is the size and shape of bicycles.
Careful sj. I heard that the curio cabinet killed the cat.
*shhhhhhh!*
…With mustard in the study by Col Candlestick?
My word! It’s like you’re f*****g psychic!
*****Censored por vous, Innana of the Peerles
Bicycle Case – with apologies to Queen
Bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to hide my bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to hide my bicycle
I want to hide my bike
I want to hide my bicycle
I want to hide it where I like
Bicycle cases are coming your way
So pick up your wheels oh yeah!
No one will guess what they’re be hiding today
So look closely. It’s see through? Oh. Yeah..
Oh my Sparks, no shelves, no go
Bicycle case bicycle case bicycle case
Bicycle bicycle
I want to hide my bicycle
In a bicycle bicycle
Bicycle CASE!
Many doors!!! To many too list!!!!!
Don’t apologize to Queen. That song is an equal opportunity hot mess. It works just as well with wllbarros.
🙂
This is turning into the Queen of memes.
I know what that really is. Look closely at the picture on the right. It’s a bike reproduction machine. It’s already created 3 of the same bike just while the picture was being taken. Left alone, who knows how many it will create.
Once it has assembled the bike army, they will go forth and Free Misjay.
Will they not have to correctly recited the Three Words of the Necrocromicon?
Klaatu Berrato Nrrrr-aj-mble-nanana . . .
Do you mean “Klepto Barrette Nicotine”?
Only if you have a boomstick and a chainsaw to replace where a hand has been, Mz. Campbell . . . <G>
(And, yes, I know Bruce’s character is Ash, but I try to not think of our dear Lola that way <BGG>)
No, definitely not an Ash, maybe a Willow or a fine Quilted Maple.
[Babwa Wawa] If you were a twee, what twee would you be? [/Babwa Wawa]
I am even less likely to comment upon dear Lola’s Maple (or teak or bubinga or even not.a.lion mahogany) than would be to invoke a pale blonde northern hardwood.
I mean, really, she’d but raise just the one eyebrow slightly, and I’d be kilt daid the spot.
As long as you don’t mention Mahogany Crotch* you should be fine.
*Yes, it’s a real cut of wood, yes, I snicker every time I see it.
This is where being Distaff is advantaged.
Were I to make such a comment, even in the context of specifying materials for casework, or for fetching lumber to the saws to assemble said casework,
There’d be an aurburn-tressed femme standing nearby to clout me about the head and neck with just such a bough . . .
le Sigh
Even more likely get you slapped:
“Wanna see my Mahogany Crotch?”
*slap*
“What was that for? I was just talking about my wood!”
*drink dumped on head, kicked in the groin and slapped again for good measure*
Kinda like The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, but with less brooms and more wheels.
LRC – !!!!!you’re in the box!!!!! Congrads!!!
I thought you were going to get me a big box of Happy and now you turned up in the box. How did you do that?
grumbles to myself and browser … don’t you 400 bad request me or I’ll reprogram you
As I told Cappy, switch to Google Chrome and you won’t get the 400 bad request notification.
That was the best advice Bombdude has given me so far. I was getting it every time I posted a response and was subsequently unable to edit anything.
Works in FireFox, too — or at least I’ve never gotten any bad request errors, except when I asked my browser to lend me some cash ’til payday. Stupid vulpine tightwad.
FireFox was the one I was threatening to re-program. I do have to admit it’s the first time I’ve had a problem.
I had probs with BOTH Firefox and Exploder. So far, the Google Chrome has been playing nice.
Mudsy — I LOVE the name Exploder! How appropriate.
Oh, believe me, I had many OTHER names for it every time it kept giving me the stink eye.
So, now I keep it and FF for my regular bookmarked stuff and just use the Chrome for YSaC. The added window is way less stressful than the constant server disconnection hangups. There is definitely something glitchy going on at this site during the posting process that seemed to develop after time. I think drmk said she would look into it once she got back.
Actually it’s been going on for a long time for me. On non-Chrome browsers, I get the 400 bad request error about once a week. I have to clear EVERYTHING. Not just cache and cookies; I have to go to the “clear private data” settings and check off all the boxes except for saved passwords, then close and reopen.
Firefox just started giving me errors about two weeks ago. I’ve got Chrome, but I haven’t messed around with it too much. Does it have a good ad blocker like FF does?
It blocks ads pretty well for me.
Yay Me!
You and your emo pumpkins.
Pinchity pinch pinch pinch!
🙂
What’s a troubadour? I’m too lazy to go look it up.
It’s a special way to get your Trouba out of the house…
A troubadour is an inedible minstrel.
It’s the opposite of a troubdetest.
ATroubadour is a humorless and srsly srs* Trouba.
*Srsly
I love all the jokes, but can i get a Corey here? I really do not know what a troubadour is.
<corey type=”lazy”> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troubador </corey>
Did you mean lazy?
Thank you Hammy for teaching me how to minimize my links.
Here you go NMN: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=troubadour
Troubadour is the opposite of a False good theirs.
Oh! I know! I think I see Sparkistan through there. (It’s right next door to Narnia. Kind of a redneck state, really.)
Sparkistan is Narnia’s rowdy next-cabinet neighbors; they always have their music turned up too loud, make fun of Narnia’s gnome-based nativity scene at Christmas, and vomit in Narnia’s pool when they’re away for the weekend.
But they’re extra polite when Aslan’s around. Nobody messes with a not.a.tiger – at least, not since that incident.
I read that as, “They’re extra polite when Asians are around.”
You take off shoes in house or you no get fwied wice!
**Yes, hello, Al, so good to hear from you!**
Or is it “flied lice!”
Somebody talking about my poncho, again?
Curio cabinet
*Anagram fun*
Runic Iceboat (Vikings, run!!)
Caribou Ni Etc. (Deer from Monte Python…?)
Aerobic Cut In (Interrupts exercise)
Cain Cutie Bro (Abel in drag)
Botanic Curie (Brought Marie flowers)
Nice Cuba Riot (Godding Jr. fan club gathering)
Cabinet
By: Liza Mintjelly
What good is it sitting alone in my room?
Come see the bike display.
Wife has cabinet for curios,
Come buy the cabinet.
Put down the maple,
The oak and bamboo.
Time for mahogany.
Wife has cabinet for curios,
Come buy the cabinet.
I fixi da bikessss?
BWAHAHA
No, Sparky, don’t bother actually emptying the curio cabinet or placing it somewhere that isn’t full of debris. Why would I want to see what it would actually look like if you hadn’t taken the shelves out of it to make a bike locker? That’s just silly.
If Sparky had a strong grasp of logic and reasoning, his ad wouldn’t have ended up on YSaC. Then where would we be?
Making fun of a different Sparky with a shaky grasp of grammar and no common sense?
What is that behind the Cabinet of Blkeses? It looks like one of those beverage coolers from 7-Eleven. I want THAT. Especially if it’s full of tasty, refreshing beverages. But with the looks of Sparky’s garage here, I’m thinking it might be full of this.
:click:
GAHHH!
Dear sweet Spice Christ, warn a person before showing them something like that!
OMG!!! words fail me ….
I’ll take the green
wheel barrelwheelbarroweelbarrowthing with the wheels.Tank, that was a cruel thing to link to without warning. I think I’ll skip breakfast and lunch today.
I’m just going to take all of your words. I am NOT clicking that link.
Holy hemorrhaging Jebus. I’m glad I wasn’t eating lunch for that one.
Actually, I believe most of those things we think we’re “seeing” in that cabinet are actually reflecto-non-porn.
I believe I see Sparky’s left arm holding up the camera to get that shot of Ansel Adams Awesomeness he ended up posting for the ad. And then I think Bigfoot is directly behind him looking at us. I swear. Look out Sparky!!!!!
I believe that Santa ate the Great Pumpkin after he baked him into a pie and he gave the shell to his reindeer. That’s why he never shows up for poor Linus.
That’s some fucked up shit kelli. Santa wouldn’t do that. But Rudolph would. Now I will definitely have to take pie off the menu for the Great Pumpkin Square-dance party I was planning. It’s so hard to be politically correct in this day and age.
I’m guessing you haven’t heard or seen this Mudsy.
Great eye, Mudsy! But are you sure that’s Bigfoot? It might be Chewbacca. Either way, Sparky should turn around and find out wazzup. Maybe Chewy wants the Cabinet of Bikeses?
… Or it could be our $6 t shirt winky hobo dude.
Is this like that thing where you say Bloody Mary over and over until a ghost jumps out of the mirror and eats your face?
I don’t know if I’d pay $30 for that.
*hurk*
Thanks, Tank. I hope my lunch stays where it belongs.
I’m sorry, guys! Nurses are notorious for being ungaggable. I didn’t even think about it – sorry, in the future I will remember that you guys are normal. I will never forget the Tanklet freaking out because I was eating lunch while watching a surgery on TV.
Hum a few bars of the very catchy song in kelli’s link, it’ll make you feel better.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Silly Tankerbell! You know we’re not normal.
(My Mom is taking nursing assistant classes and has rapidly lost her squick sensor. Now there’s a spare vial of her blood in the pencil cup by the phone (“They were just going to throw it out so I brought it home.”) and regularly “treats” unsuspecting friends and family members to stories from her externship.)
**winks at Tankerbell**
I heard someone mention my name?
And surgery. Gets my appetite going. Mmmmm….
I’ve never been more thankful for a slow connection. I clicked the link, the picture’s name came up, and I hit the back button before it had time to load.
WUT.
… Who DOES that?!?!?!?
(The bathtub, I mean. I was kind of amused by the “cleaning” of the toilet – just unbolt the sucker and half of your problem is solved!)
Hoarders and those with meth labs, apparently. (I originally wrote “meth lab havers”. LOL. I amuse myself.)
Meth Lab Havers is the name of IF’s Porno for Pyros cover band.
Do I see that Cletus also keeps his used tires in plastic bags?
Those are what he affectionately calls “bean bag chairs”…
Today on HamCan’s poetry corner.
O Curio, Curio! WTF art thou Curio?
Deny thy bikes and refuse thy shelves;
Or, if thou warp not, be but reflecto pron love,
And you’ll no longer be a Cabinet.
Now is the winner of my garage contents….
To clean or not to clean
Sparky’s never thought that question
How long will a cab’n’t lie i’ the earth ere it rot?
I’ faith, if be not rotten before ere CL-listed–as we ha’ many pox’y carcasses now-a-days, that will scarce hold the laying in–it’ll last you some eight year or nine year: a curio will last you nine year.
Why ‘e more than another?
Why, sir, the hide is so mirr’r’d in trade, that reflection will keep out buyers a great while;
And your buyer is a sore dismayed of your whoreson dead cabinet.
Here’s a curio now; this fixture has lain in the garage three and twenty years. Thus. ere it be full of bikes, as an ass’ kawbone were oncet of tongue to bray.
Do, tell, O Clown, ere this curio oncet Horatio name-ed be?
Once upon a cabinet dingy,sold by Sparky, his cleaning stingy
Missing many a quaint and curious glass shelf of yore
While we snarked, gently mocking, suddenly there came a knocking
as of some one loudly knocking, knocking on the Snark Lounge door
“‘Tis only Sparky.” the Ostrimu* muttered, “knocking on the Snark Lounge door.”
“Only this and nothing more.”
*bees be upon him
I’m glad they didn’t add the glass shelves in the picture… it would’ve made it too cluttered. Wouldn’t want to distract the viewer from the !!!Curio cabinet!!!
This is a prop from the new movie, “Through the cabinet, and What Schwinn Found There.”
Curioer and curioer…
Yeah. The Tiger, the Bike, and the Curio Cabinet.
Perfect!
The Cheshire Not.A.Lion?
Tweedle Sparky and Tweedle Spunk?
Curio George, that wacky little bike riding monkey.
[OT] Is it wrong that I’m already thinking about what I want for Christmas? [/OT]
Just going out on a limb here – Is it a video game, one you you just saw the trailer for?
Or is it a bike?
A video game about bikes?
I wish there was an emote for how I’m feeling about that comment Astro. Instead, I will opt for the classic, WTF.
Ok, not bicycles… but I played the heck out of a game about unicycles in my younger years!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uniracers
I never should have sold off my super nintendo.
What was the one where you rode a bike? Newspaper boy?
Why yes SJ, how did you know?
SK is wise in the Ways of the Force (and other topics, too).
(She might have even been to a rodeo or two before, despiter her youth.)
One: SK?
Two: Why yes, it is a Star Wars game, you must be psychic.
Linky.
I’m already thinking about Christmas. Not what I want, more like who deserves a present with thought, who gets a gift card and who gets socks. Hubby’s getting a custom work of art by a certain unblublered rat.
Thanks for making me feel bad, christina.
I didn’t mean to make you feel bad, NMN, I just wanted to give a shout out to Silva and maybe get some others to think about what an awesomely unique gift idea her talent is. That and the fact that husband and I are writing a cookbook for family members this year so waiting until later to think about it would result in my insanity come December.
Hmm…I have to get some art done by Silva one of these days….
I have an idea for a new avatar too….but it’s slightly odd.
Oh mah gawd, Christmas? It literally doesn’t bear thinking about. Gaaaah. I do not have many gifts that I need to give but it is still. too. early! 🙁
NMN: You’re still of an age where cool gifts which may actually be surprises are something to definitely anticipate. So, don’t feel bad.
Lola,
Agreed, X-mas is a big pain in my asteroid…
I’ve been thinking about what I want for Christmas, too. It’s rechargeable or takes batteries, and buzzes and vibrates.
Yup, my electric razor died and I want a new one…..
Yeah let’s just go with an electric razor, it’s safer. Well, not PHYSICALLY, it’s a razor…but at least we won’t need brain bleach.
I wonder if Sparky has an electric razor in that cabinet…
Ummm, hi Dad! Nothing to see here. Just thinking about getting you a nice gift for Christmas.
NMN, enjoy the anticipation! I hope you get exactly what you want. I have little kiddos, so I can’t fathom thinking about Christmas yet. We have to survive Halloween first!
*wanders off muttering “I want to be a princess. And a mermaid. And a fire fighter. Can I be a pony? Do I have to dress up???” Sigh*
I want to go trick-or-treating….as a video game character….but I’d just want to walk around and show off….
I want to be a….uhhh….hmmmm……oh oh I know!
They actually make a costume for this, but it’s something like 500 dollars.
Ezio Auditore da Firenze
Sounds more like you want to go to a convention. Lots of people in costume, but not as much candy.
And I think I actually know that character… Assassin’s Creed, right? I haven’t played it, but I’ve seen ads for it.
Hi Lola. I’m now of an age when any gifts are something to anticipate. As long as they’re not damned vouchers. How are you? x
Mindfield…
Just wondering. Exactly what IS your caffeine consumption each day?
…no wait…that might be too big of a number. How about just your consumption for this post?
🙂
Dammit! Janett!
Sorry, couldn’t resist. 🙂
You really need to stop lurking and just jump in with
both feetall four paws.No caffeine consumption number may be less than elebenty sebenty seben brazillion ppm and still be considered relevant for a poster…
Christina: Glad you didn’t finish that…
Dammit! Janett! Let’s go snark!
Is that what you didn’t want me to finish? 😉
Well, the “…[Y]ou’re Wet!” remainder of that line (RHPS)
that has gotten me into much trouble with J-named young ladies,
back in the Beforetimes, long ago, in the Dreamdreamtime.
Well, I’ve had a lovely day in your Golden Lotus, but I can’t wait around to be punched anymore.
Wait……what? Something’s just not quite right about that.
Oh, I don’t know. See you tomorrow.
Considering the golden lotus has been around for a few days now, I don’t know why I only just now thought to mention this*:
There is a town in the north DFW area called Flower Mound.
*Might have something to do with mixing caffeine and alcohol again.
Sorry, didn’t mean to be this late, but I had dinner and a movie date with my honey. Hope LRC sees this in the morning!
Ponchoed Robot Moose, Punchity Punch Punch!
G’Night, Sparkistan!
I sees it, I sees it! Thanks, Windy. I hope you had a loverly time and he took you out someplace calassy.
Eeek! The concept to Sprikistan, a nation of and by Sparkies chills me to the bone.
Feel like I need a rinse in liquid nitrogen just to warm up . . .
It’s a Curio Cabinet suffering from an existential crisis for goodness sake. It thinks it’s a warehouse. You people are so insensitive!