YSaC, Vol. 817: Of all lies, art is the least untrue.
I just got back from a little trip to a country you may have heard of. It’s called Europe. It was kind of weird over there, because they were all speaking with some funny accent that made it really hard to understand what they were saying. I mean, it’s like they weren’t speaking English!
Anyway, while I was there I went to something called a Kunstmuseum. Imagine my surprise when it turned out not to be a slightly dyslexic strip club at all, but rather to be a whole bunch of boring old pictures hanging there on the walls, only some of which were of naked people! And there were people walking around and looking at the walls, and pretending to be interested in all of it, and not just the naked people.
Well, after I got kicked out for trying to put dollar bills in the waistband of that lady’s pants (you know, she had a tag on that said “Docent”, but I wouldn’t really call her docent-looking. She was kind of ugly.), I went on Craigslist to see what the big deal with this whole “art” thing is. And I found this:
painting – $1200
every nice painting
I just don’t get it. If I can buy every nice painting in the world on Craigslist for less than I spent on my car/house, why do those Europeeple go stare at art? I mean, it’s obvious those aren’t the nice paintings, since the nice ones will be hanging on my wall. Unless they’ve never been used, in which case they clearly wouldn’t be hanging on a wall.
Thanks for the submission, Ashley! By the way, if y’all haven’t encountered the “Most Wanted Paintings” from around the world, it’s pretty funny. The US’s “most wanted” painting is a landscape with a family and a randomly inserted George Washington. It probably says a lot about me that I like the “least wanted” painting WAY more than the most wanted.