YSaC, Vol. 819: That means The Police made $8,340,000,000,000!
$8.34 in change
Are you unemployed? Bored? Have nothing better to do at the moment? Enjoy walking halfway across town in the heat to pick up something that very well may be gone by the time you get there? Yes to all of those? Then read on! Sitting at the corner of ##### and #####, right next to the stop sign and the flower lady’s sign, in a glass jar that was formerly the home of 16oz of Santa Cruz Organic peanut butter, is a fistful of change. I don’t want it because it is encrusted with tar and motor oil from spending several years living on the floorboards of a pickup truck. I suppose a can of brake cleaner might remove all that grime. So, now you know what it is and where it’s at. I’ll remove this as soon as I see it’s gone (please take the jar too)
OK, Sparky, I’ll bite. A can of brake cleaner costs somewhere in the vicinity of three or four bucks, so for a net profit of about one value meal, I’d be happy to walk across town, pick up your jar of change, clean it off, and save you from a littering citation for leaving this crap on the sidewalk.
Just to be fair, however, I’ll be dropping off a fifty gallon drum of used dishwasher parts, rusty shock absorbers and a rabid badger. Please make sure you take the drum too.
Thanks for the link, Mike!
If it’s “encrusted with tar and motor oil from spending several years living on the floorboards of a pickup truck” then how does Sparky know how much is in the jar?
And what the hell is wrong with his truck?
[truckcorey]My father, a renowned slob, once owned a Ford pickup truck. He was a carpenter by trade so tools, food wrappers, building plans, and all manner of junk wound up on the floorboard of the truck. One day he decided to clean it out. Imagine his surprise when after all the gunk was removed he found the floorboard had rusted clean through. LOL..good times…[/endtruckcorey]
Aw, CJ, I was expecting something like he found a hundred dollar bill, or a gold nugget. 8) Guess it could have been worse. He might have found a rabid badger.
C’mon, rabid badgers can be exciting!
Am I the only one picturing the groundhog driving scene with Bill Murray in “Groundhog Day”?
“Check your mirrors…side to side. Don’t drive angry!”
Yes, I am easily amused.
Rabid badgers are usually only found in winter bagels hiding under the gentrar (or was that the altnater?).
Is the altnater what you would use to sprinkle the badger?
I only like badger sprinkles on my ferret flavored cupcakes.
Note to self: Do not accept any baked goods from Mudsy.
But my gravy is to die for!
Awww…I was hoping he found a diamond š
Having random crap in the floorboards of your truck is understandable, but if tar and motor oil are leaking out of your engine compartment and pooling in your change jar, you have deeper issues than cleaning up a handful of nasty coins.
It’s about as much fun as climbing into the car one frigid morning to find a cloyingly-sweet stench, green goo on the passenger-side floor, and no heat/defroster.
Of course, if you’re like my son…when your heater core gives up the ghost you defrost your windshield with a blowtorch FROM THE INSIDE.
Well, if he did it from the outside the cab wouldn’t get all toasty warm.
Yes, but he also managed to crack the windshield…in many places.
He’s the King of Not-Thinking-It-Throughville.
Ahhh, Not-Thinking-It-Throughville. I vacation there often.
I had the “genius” idea once that since salt melted ice, I could use a spray bottle of salt water to remove the frost from my windows without all that tedious scraping. FYI salt water will remove window frost but replaces it with a thick white crust that makes your car look like a glazed doughnut.
See SJ, the trick is to rinse it off after it has removed the window frost… Spray it off with the hose…
š
*I live in Not-Thinking-It-Throughville. Made me more McGyverish, minus the cool hair and all…
I was in a big hurry so I left home before it dried and revealed the crusty white film.
As I’m driving down the road it gets harder and harder to see out the windows, much to my puzzlement, until I realized my “brilliant” idea was not so much. I finally stopped at a gas station and squeegeed the windows clean. I kinda felt bad about that, I’m sure the person who used it after me was wondering why their windows looked worse after they cleaned them.
These days I just buy a big jug of de-icing windshield washer fluid and put it in a spray bottle.
Wow! That will go perfect with my collection of disturbingly dirty currency!
What else do I have in my collection I hear you ask? Well here are my Japanese coins in a mug full of mold; it took over 2 years to get the mold to fill the entire cup. I have these rubles which spent a year in a fireplace; they’re nice ‘n sooty now. I have a handful of slimy change I scraped off the bottom of a wishing well. Oh, and my best piece, a $10 from 1843 that was scrapped off the floor of the most popular prostitute in Las Vegas!
Hey? Where’d everyone go?
“scrapped off the floor of the most popular prostitute..”
Holy sh*t! Comment.Of.The.Day.
Seriously, drmk (bees be upon her), please, please, please do NOT turn back on the editing feature…
*wipes tears of laughter from cheeks*
I wanted to ask how Taco āscrapped off the floor of the most popular prostitute..ā but after thinking about it a minute, I don’t think I want to know.
Sounds like something from “Casual Encounters” on CL.
We’re off changing our underwear.
p.s. Yes, pretty please hold off on reinstating the edit feature for awhile.
Yeah, things are going to get interesting now that I don’t have my editing crutch.
Maybe I’ll start proofreading*.
*Probably not.
Did you scrape that bill up off the floor? Uh, were you employed by the house at the time? You are my hero TM!
Just do what I do… Type up a comment, switch back to work and forget about it for a few minutes, and then come back and read your comment again before submitting…. It’s almost like having the edit feature! :-p
What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas!*
*Please Taco for Clothespin Jeebus Spice Christ sake, ALWAYS remember this!
Except for herpes. That s**t will come back with you.
**Hi Taco! :waves:
[Las Vegas prostitute corey] Las Vegas is actually part of Clark County, the only (as far as I can recall) county that does not have legalized prostitution. They still have prostitution mind you, they just call it “escort services” and the like. [/corey]
I just realized that the first tag makes it look like I’m calling myself a Las Vegas prostitute, but I’m leaving it anyway.
Will you accept $8.34 of slightly soiled coins in a Skippy jar for your “favors”?
I can get really good directions to it…
I seem to recall from some program I watched on TV that the reason for that is because the population of a county has to be under a certain threshold for prostitution to be legal. Clark County has too many people in it, so the “professionals” have to set up shop just outside the county line. Not sure why I remember that, It’s not like that’s the reason I go to Vegas. There are
alsomany excellent thrift shops.Sorry Ham, my “favors” do not include the use of dairy or cooking oil based products.
Forget Las Vegas. I wanna visit me some Los Vegos—could this be land of the male vegetables?
So, you can’t cook, kelli?
Then costumes are OK?
Sweet!
NMN, I can and do cook, it’s just not one of my “favors”
Hammy, if you want to dress up like an Anime schoolgirl, who am I to object?
I’m game, but what are you going to dress up as?
Ham, I guess if you’re the schoolgirl, I’ll have to be something with tentacles. Or Tuxedo Max.
*Put’s self in corner”
“A tentacle!”
Dang it kelli, you answered when I was typing that.
Could be, Mudsy… carrots, cucumbers and the like…
And a turnip shaped just like a thingy.
I had a bell pepper a couple weeks ago that grew a beard and a penis…
Is there a pig at this party?
Ewwww, on both counts….
They don’t call it a tuber fer nuthin’
Bombdude, it was a Black Adder reference.
Wow, something I didn’t even know I was missing! Rowan and all!! Gonna have to go check that out. Thanks Kelli.
Taco- do you take Canadian currency? My ex once found one slathered in moose droppings. Which begs the question why, but I never bothered to ask..
Do meese even eat loons?
[Corey the Moose]Mooses are vegemetarians, but if someone dropped a looney (or even a tooney) in the vegetables, a mooses could have eated it[/corey]
Mooses eat vegemite? I never knew that! š
Why, yes! They have this exchange program with the Koala’s (some sort of British Empire animal thing) and Koala’s actually eat maple leaves as a delicacy.*
*This is almost certainly not true.
Nothing worse then a defective Koala!
Sparky’s been living there the last few years. He has issue taking the trash out. Half empty oil can … throw on the floor boards. Empty beer cans, mostly empty tuna cans, whatever else he consumes throw it all on the floor. Suddenly Sparky decides it time for some spring cleaning (probably a female is involved) and here we are.
FYI – given up on FireFox during the testing period. 400 error every time I try to do anything. Switched to Safari & it been ok for several days.
I’m happy that the mobile site is down, but the full site seems to be loading a lot slower today than before.
Been nicely stable (knock wood) on IE yesterday and today.
But–heres the (odd) rub–Gravatars seem to be all over the place. Can confirm over there all I want, but, what is displayed will be a bit random.
No problems yet, but I’d recently cleared all the stuff I usually need to clear for it to work on FF, so I’m still in the wait and see period.
Spoke too soon…got the 400 bad request while handing out doors. Had to clear everything yet again to get it to work on FF.
Still good in IE, even left open in the background (knock wood)
Time to stop knocking on your wood, Cap. More than twice is playing with it.
I’ve had no problems on FireFox with this site lately. hmm.
Hey 8-Buck Sparky! This is your lucky day. Yessireebob…I would love to take your grimy money, but in return I insist you take a few things that I think when totalled will equal $8.34 in value.
They are:
1. A bee truck
2. Some vintage Crisco
3. Da minty shell
4. A green prom dress of questionable lineage – is it mint or green, you decide.
But, if you act now I’ll throw in a swingset, complete with deer carcass and lastly…since you seem like such a nice person….I’ll even let you have my most prized possession…this lovely misjay.
So, do we have a deal?
CJ — I think you should throw in the sandbox boat also, just to top off the deal.
I thought about it, Artsy, but I’m pretty sure that would push the total value to at least $8.50.
Observation: For a slob, Sparky is oddly specific and detail-oriented.
Well, hoarding IS a form of OCD after all…
Last I checked, Santa Cruz and vicinity is not a commercial producer of peanuts, which raises the question: just what was that 16oz of organic butter?
I’m surprised Sparky the Slob is into Organic. I wouldn’t have classified him as someone I might run into in Whole Foods and paying for his edamame with a pocket full of tar-balled quarters.
I was thinking the same thing. My stereotype included the kind of guy who buys food that’s been deep-fried early in the morning and then on greasy display under a heat lamp for seven hours, and he purchases it when he stops in to gas up, stock up on windshield fluid, and gets a pack of jerky as an appetizer and a half-rack of Rainier/Schmitt/Carling/Genessee to wash it all down with.
You forgot Pabst/Schlitz/Little Kings/Busch and the tin of SkoalĀ®.
You’re absolutely right. How did I forget the chew?
That makes me question the source of the “tar” in the Jar of Supreme Yuckiness, Extra
ChunkyCoinage.Yeah and if that food is on a stick it’s even better. (Maybe that’s only down here.)
Hey, the fair is in town now – there’s all kinds of questionable food choices available with and without sticks. (At least for the next two weeks)
Deep fried Meredith may or may not be available depending on if she keeps misspelling subtle.
SJ – I drove by a billboard for the fair this morning. I think it must be stuck in my head.
Totally unrelated – the new fad last year was fried bacon dipped in chocolate. Yes it was on a stick.
Trust me, there are plenty of organic-minded/cruelty-free/freegan-vegans out there who are complete slobs.
I think those are only indigenous to the PNW christina. Here in the Midwest, it’s a bet that the elusive tar-jar-change-junky would consider pink Hostess Snowballs to be an entrĆ©e.
Artsy – According to one of my coirkers, this year they have cheeseburgers made with Krispy Kremes and deep-fried pickles flavored with Kool-Aid. The pickles are probably on a stick.
Ahh yes, the Luther Burger Supposedly made famous by Luther Vandross.
I’d agree, Mudsy, but we have quite a few here in Texas as well, but I’m in the hippie-haven of north TX so it’s not uncommon to see Mr. Winkey driving a leaky truck to the health food store.
Latest thing I heard of in the deep-fried category (I can’t recall whether it was available on a stick, but suspect so) was deep-fried beer. I still haven’t heard the details/can’t figure it out.
It’s probably a lot like the deep-fried Coca-Cola they have. They mix up funnel cake batter using Coke instead of water and then serve it, drizzled with Coke syrup, in a cup.
They had deep-fried Snickers at the Renaissance Festival this year. They were delicious.
Medieval Snickers come from Sir Laughs A Lot. TeeHeeTeeHee
Oh, I thought you were in Portland, OR christina! I forgot you live in TX—land of the dry counties and drive-through liquor stores.
*sudttle
š
Gee, I would have thought that they served only deep fried Three Musketeers at the Renaissance Festival, Hammy D’Artanian.
TeeHeeTee
EB, I thought it was suttle.
NMN, it was an attempt at combining “suttle” and “sudtle”…
Also, yesterday I saw a license plate that said “[###] NMN” and it made me giggle. The old lady driving it probably wasn’t a gamer… Though, thinking she was in a video game might explain the way she was driving :-p
Deep fried NMN and EB may also be on the menu
Mmmm…. Deep fried MnMs….
Well, to [corey] this, I’m guessing Sparky here has a leaky truck. Sparky might also be a part-time, occasional, roofer.
To stop the truck leaking on somebody’s driveway (or a pot of roof repair tar), Sparky scrounged a jar from some near-by trash can.
Said jar had contained organic PB.
Then, while en route to some location, Spark’ sent his helper into the stop-n-rob with a $10 bill for $1.66 of coffee/beverage/jerky/whatever and then the helper, without looking, put the change in the tar-jar.
This is why Spark’ knows the exact amount. And also the composition of the ‘stuff’ in the jar.
Alternately, the change was in the scrounged jar anyway, when Spark was parked at the stree corner doing som odd job within.
Some person of authority remonstrated at Spark’ about whatever wsa dripping out of the truck.
So, the helper was sent to ‘correct’ that.
The helper grabbed the jar, and put it under the leak, but not before wiping up the extant spillage.
Thus, the jar is part glued-down in situ. So, not only is Spark’ out the change, and the jar, the people there know it was Sparky left it there, stuck.
In a brilliant flash of persperation, Spark’ hit upon getting a CL hipster to come grub away Spark’s problem. If the clients are wobbly about the mess, Spark’ blames the hipster. If the clients find a hipster La Brea-ed oustside their door, they’ll just assume it’s ‘normal’ hipster activity.
Being a hipster, his story will make no sense anyway, since with LE on scene and currency part glued to the hipster, the sidewalk, drain and brake cleaner every where, too, hipster will be all stammery and less-coherent.
LE will be mad, as they will not have a spare tarp to put on the backseat of the cruiser. Which means the lowest LE to show (or rattiest B&W) will be afflicted with the cuffed hipster and the solvent-dripping adhesive collection of evidence.
And, no one will remember to blame Sparky in the resulting confusion.
Despite the fact that the hipster will become more likely to catch something communicable, or mutagenic, from the solvents. The stress on the LEO will probably shorten at least one career and complicate at least one more–losing the City valuable trained First Responders. Also, the city will be out at least the one backseat for a squad car–but might need a floor mat, and door handles. Oh, and the shelf in the evidence locker, and a solvent-proof bin for the evidence.
Yep, Sparky “wins”; he’s only out the change and the effort to type a CL ad. The resto the City gets to share in the thousands of collateral costs . . . le sigh.
All I got out of that was that hipsters are smelly, and we need a t-shi[r]t that says “Blame Sparky!” :-p
That’s WAY more than I got out of it. Kudos to you EB!
Is it okay if I feel sorry for the hipster for being caught in such a trap?
No, NMN, it’s really not… It’s never acceptable to feel sorry for hipsters. Even when their Macbook dies.
It’s ok, Cap’n. I’m witcha… Just ignore the
rabblewimminsones who can’t follow along…*steals all of Bombdude’s fuses, detcord, and caps for that comment*
Whoa, I actually understood all of Captain’s story… maybe because I know too many repairmen who save dirty containers to put assorted things in- pennies, screws, etc.
and am now imagining LaBrea tarpits with sparkies and hipsters instead of mammoths and sabertooth cats.
*smiles serene and innocent-like; uses tiny motion to draw attention to non-descript large box being leant upon*
Bravo, Cap’n! I got it too, and you would have another door if I was door-enabled.
Wow, Cap’n… You are the man. I’ve heard that Christina is very well (door) endowed….
Yes, but is it Change We Can Believe In?
Only if we can see it, and it doesn’t dissolve in the brake fluid or whatever it is Sparky recommends to clean it.
All I can say is, I guess we all should be happy that Sparky didn’t volunteer with the cleanup of the BP spill. He’d have organized a Scavenger Hunt to locate an assortment of oil encrusted sea creatures.
One the north end of the beach between the ##### and the ##### there is a mound that looks like a rock. However, it might actually be either a tar ball turtle or a petroleum pelican. I don’t want it because it’s encrusted with tar and offshore drill rig oil. I suppose a bottle of Dawn might remove all that grime. So, now you know what it may be and where it’s at. I’ll remove this as soon as I see it’s gone (please take the flies and the jellyfish too).
This.is.brilliant.
I hate not having doors.
Did you leave them open and someone stole them?
How odd, after the other day, Adores have been working for me.
Actually, Bombdude, half the doors in my house are missing. We’re renovating so, like EB, I get to make ‘have a door’ jokes at home that get me blank stares.
Christina — I’ve torn apart the guest bathroom. No shower doors, no guest bedroom door, no hallway door. I have a lot of sheetrock dust, if you need any.
We’re picking up a new door for Mini’s room this week.
Yes, I will again be making jokes met with blank stares :-p
At least you don’t live in a mansion, because then you would need elebenty doors.
You would be surprised at how many doors these WWII era bungalows have. Ours has two additions to the original structure and a lot of closets so we need almost elebenty.
Now, if we had the money I’d go with exotic wood so that I could say I have elebenty brazillion doors.
*throwing every door in the known universe at mudsy*
Awesomesauce.
Simply.Awesomsauce.
I didn’t know you could launder money with brake cleaner!
*Calls up Guido*
“Hey Guido, stop sending our money to offshore banks and get your arse over the AutoZone”
Can’t you just remove the gunk with one of the Death Rays from the Orbital Cave of Wonders?
Well…yes but it’s lowest power setting would also remove a 10 foot chunk of the street corner.
*Uses tractor beam to shake the jar*
No, someone threw some grenades down their exhaust chutes. They’re not working right now.
Yeah, but if the exhaust chute is smaller than a swamp-rat, then you run into the problem that not everything will mario-pipe
(there’s a video on Fail of a Sparky trying to demonstrate just this)
First thing i did was put a grate over the exhaust ports…duh
And then I installed an anti-TheForce field
But did you block up the exhaust* and/or trash chutes?
*Who’s to say Death Rays don’t have exhaust pipes?
It’s in space, if you don’t cover all the openings the air leaks out…
I’m not stupid Hammy.
Commas, commas, commas…,
You don’t need commas Hammy… š
You’re not stupid EB either…
Tarball Change Jar now opening for Rabid Badger! See them at the corner of ##### and #####! Arrive early enough to see Flower Lady’s Sign!
What a great bill! Forget the 40 Watt, I’m gonna be at ##### and ##### tonight!
And here is the back-up for Rabid Badger:
http://www.victorianamagazine.com/archives/7000/walterpotter
Inanna!!! you got photos from the last Squirrel Nut Zipper concert?!?!?!?
Lucky girl, you!!!
Nothing says celebration like rodents in a brass section.
OK, I’m a fan, but I give up. What’s the Police reference?
Or do you mean the Proclaimers?
I’m curious about the Police reference too. Elucidate?
Maybe instead of “Message In A Bottle” it’s “Tarball In A Change Jar”?
Yeah, Sparky’s “sendin’ out an S.O.S”…
That doesn’t explain the $8 trillion 340 billion bucks The Police supposedly made from only $8.34 in change. Must have to do with CatMath.
I’m thinking “Message in a Bottle” as well for the line at the end about 100 million bottles washed up on the shore. Someone else has to do the math.* My brain is hurting today and my laptop is dead.
*I know, I know. Just move the decimal point. It is too much for me today.
Oh. Duh.
Manda B has it.
With all of the walking across town in the post, I was going for “Walking in Your Footsteps” and “Walking on the Moon.”
We all forgot about “Every Little Thing In The Santa Cruz Organic Peanut Butter Jar Can Be Cleaned Up With Brake Cleaner.”
De Doo doo doo De dah dah dah….
*I’m curious yellow as well*
I’m curious too, but not yellow. I’m sort of a pinkish gray, mostly.
Okay kelli. Then you can just be curious georgeous.
Rocky on the outside and sparkly on the inside?
I suspect dan has been giving us too easy musical references recently and has put this one in to confuse us. He’s certainly succeeded as far as I’m concerned. *this is not difficult*
I think Sparky is trying to become the next youtube celebrity. I bet he has a hidden camera set up across the street and anytime someone attempts to take the change, Mr. Winkey jumps out of a dumpster and challenges them to a hobo showdown.
Hobo Showdown is my favorite game show. I love the Dumpster Dive challenge.
The “departing contestant” a/k/a loser gets to take home a year’s supply of off-brand stale chips and snacks!
The winner gets to become or continue being the spokeshobo for a certain t-shirt company.
Hey, one man’s off brand is another man’s treasure…
Hobo Showdown, tonight at ##### and #####!
The end match is between Mr. Winkey, the $6 Shirts Hobo, versus Bob the hobo whose family was kidnapped by ninja and needs $4* for karate lessons.
*Yeah, I know it was “$ 4 karate lessons.”
Well, with that kind of scratch, he can get top notch lessons from this guy .
Wouldn’t that be more of a Hobo Ho’down?
I’m game for throwing Billy the Exterminator into the mix.
The guy who gets the crowd warmed up beforehand should be ROOFER ROOFER ROOFER ROOFER ROOFER ROOFER ROOFER ROOFER ROOFER ROOFER ROOFER guy.
I was thinking that Hobo Showdown was the name of IF’s Travelling Willbury’s cover band.
Notice that Sparky never said he got the jar from HIS truck. For all we know, it’s someone else’s jar of greasy coins, and Sparky is a (stupid) thief.
No, but I barely work, is that close enough?
Well, I was going to
stalkcheck what Professor Hottie was up to today, but I guess that can wait.Can I skip instead of walking? I just learned how to skip, and I want to show off my new skill.
Not really, but I can fake it for now.
On what?
Who’s fist? I mean if it’s Herve’s fist, that’s not much money but if it’s Robert Wadlow it could be quite a bit.
Wait, the money is alive or at least was alive?
It might also remove my skin for all I know.
Wait, how do I know the jar isn’t haunted? I worry about these sort of things.
Arrrgh….I mean whose fist. I feel like Taco.
Taco’s pseudonym is Fist?
Oh I wish the edit function was on. Let me rephrase that.
Taco’s freudonym is Fist?
NMN I really didn’t mean to fist Taco.
Wait, what?
I’m just going to pretend you didn’t say that. Deal? Or no deal?
NMN, I have no idea to what you could be referring.*
*This may be untrue. Oh and deal.
The “Who’s Fist”?
Well, Pete’s will have scars from windmilling guitarstrings.
Keith & John’s will be a bit gristly (even ‘ghastly’ one supposes, being post mortem).
Which really only leaves Roger, but he probably has a PA for actually handling money . . .
Capn, I wish I could give you more than one door. This was awesome!
For waht?
Being old enough to have listened to The Who before they broke up the first time?
Or having listened on the radio, when the station played the new LP, which was on vinyl?
(Was also faced with having to look up which members beside Bertram Cummings would still be around from The Guess Who–tho- I prefer the Lenny Kravitz version of American Woman.)
But, I’ve all sorts of trivia loose in my knoggin, too; names like Rich Brotherton, Tom Van Shaick, Bill Whitbeck, Marty Muse, and even the legendary Brian Duckworth.
Bored Walk
By: The Thrifters
Oh, when the sun beats down and burns the tar on the change in the jar
And your shoes get so hot from walking half way across town for naught
Gone on a bored walk, down by the flower lady’s sign, yeah
In an organic peanut jar that’s where it’ll be
(Gone on a bored walk) out in the sun
(Gone on a bored walk) we’ll be gettinā some change
(Gone on a bored walk) It’s encrusted with grime
(Gone on a bored walk) we’re all unemployed
Gone on a bored walk (bored-walk!)
Sitting at the corner of ISH and [Location]
Ewwwww, you can almost locate the jar by the motor oil smell
Gone on a bored walk, down by the flower lady’s sign, yeah
In an organic peanut jar that’s where where it’ll be
Gone on a bored walk) out in the sun
(Gone on a bored walk) we’ll be gettinā some change
(Gone on a bored walk) It’s encrusted with grime
(Gone on a bored walk) we’re all unemployed
Gone on a bored walk (bored-walk!)
Oooooh Gone on a bored walk, down by the flower lady’s sign, yeah
In an organic peanut jar that’s where it’ll be
Gone on a bored walk) out in the sun
(Gone on a bored walk) we’ll be gettinā some change
(Gone on a bored walk) It’s encrusted with grime
(Gone on a bored walk) we’re all unemployed
Gone on a bored walk (bored-walk!)
Have a door. I’d give you a Brazillian but Bridgete seems attached to him.
Yeah… They give attached at the hip a new meaning…
And here I thought this song was called Down By the Floorboard
“Down by the floorboard,
Now in the street”
I actually started out with Under the floor mats, but bored walk fit the rest of the ad more betterer…
Why Lola! Did you buy Dad’s truck?
No, CJ, but only because parking is a pain in my neighborhood. I mean, it sounds like
something that would never get stolen herea steal!Yeah, either way was a win-win.
Hammy, I love that song, I love your version, and you just made my day super happy! Thanks.
What the birdie said.
Srsly*
*Why can’t I stop saying this? Amanda wasn’t even tag worthy!
Not tag worthy? Fine! I don’t want to play any of your reindeer games anyway!
Oh wait – you said Amanda. Not Manda. Sheesh! The angry poetry edumacator is giving us a bad name. Srsly.
Srsly, Not.a.Manda.
Who was Amanda?
She showed up, either very late at night, or early the next morning after one of our recent forays into posy and verse. She started the comment with “Srsly” (presumably “seriously”) and berated the knowledge base of we readers here. With a less-than veiled implication that we were clearly under-educated in poetry as either Art or Profession.
As one might expect with our circle of regulars, beginning an exposition in our ignorance with a text/twitter-ism not not set a very welcoming tone.
Amanda is lucky her comment was on a slow day, a weekend day, if memory serves.
We may need to add “srsly” in our wiki memes now <le sigh>
Beautiful, Hammy! (Or Beautiful Hammy, if you don’t like commas.) Next will you writeGrime in a Bottle by Jim Croce?
Meh in a bottle
If could save grime in a bottle
The first thing that I’d like to do
Is put in some dimes
And a quarter or two
Just to watch them sink into the goo
If I could make change last forever
If had nothing better to do
I’d save four pennies with pleasure and then,
Again, I would sink them in goo
But there never are the unemployed
To do the stupid things you want them to
Try and find them
I’ve looked around enough to know
That thereās no one dumb enough to go
Through the grime with
If I had a jar used for peanuts
And a fistful of cash covered in spew
The jar would be empty
Except for the motor oil
And tar holding eight thirty four
But there never are the unemployed
To do the stupid things you want them to
Try and find them
I’ve looked around enough to know
That thereās no one dumb enough to go
Through the grime with
“The Snark Lounge gives “Meh in a Bottle” Elebenty Brazillion doors! Go buy it today!”
That was supposed to be a review.
Tankerbell gives Hammy two treads up!
Oh Hammy, it’s even more wonderiffic than I ever dreamed! A million, bajillion doors.
Did you have your supercomputer on your super secret space station that we all know about now write this for you? 8) Cause if so, that’s one talented AI. Brazillions in abundance!
Hammy, every song you write makes me love* you just a little bit more.
*in a sort of
stalkerfangirl way.*Blushes*
*Rubs toe in dirt*
Awwww, shucks.
Hammy – I wish I had your talent. (I’m not sure what I’d do with it, but it would be cool to be able to write such
funnymoving lyrics.)I think he’s got a secret app for that. He just pulls up a song and puts in some key words and voile! Either that, or he’s constantly asking the seamen around him (hehe) “Hey, anybody got a word that rhymes with crud?”
I have a theory. When someone lands in the Golden Lotus, or box of Don’t Sucking, they are 65.99% likely to not show up that day, and miss all the fun and frivolity. Sigh. IF really should have been here today.
IF, wish you were here. Punchity Punch Punch!
G’Night, Not-Thinking-It-Throughville!
Sounds like Lee Harvey Oswald’s out & looking for someone to help him with target practice…
Why is it that as soon as I’ve finally gotten my own rabid badger, everybody else starts practically giving them away?!?