YSaC, Vol. 827: And this person votes, ladies and gentlemen.

2010 October 22

This one’s behind a cut because it has it all — misspellings! rampant homophobia and racism! a solid wall of text! utterly unrelated pictures! swear words! mentions of sex acts! inappropriate pluralizations using the letter z!

And, for good measure, the word predegogginnaniessienniueccieessence. No, really.

Through Era’z ‘n Eon’z Of Change In Contact: Kid’z Be Sluts (Maria’z Purposeful Nips ‘N Things)


In the day, it was pulp, Puerto Rican rum soaked jack-off rags. They were internerant were they not, with no responsibility. No “citizenship” wrecking arount theys should to remind them that” “On the boat. Nut to butt, spit out the tobacco, and, girls, such his freaking dick off now, Dick Off Now, DICK OFF NOW, DICK OFF NOW! because the boat’z leaving, the train’z leaving, the bus’z leaving. Get the job done – DONE! girls. But all of what you know – KNOW! now, as knowledge, is going on-screen, is it not, onto the “downloaded” screen, and motherfucker if you can pro~nounce the word: Download, to your priest without cracking a smile or hitting the side of your retarded duaghter’s face-off so she can stop laughting at your white ass, than of course the best to you. If you can say ‘download’ to anyone – ANY ONE! without the fear of them knowing your face in ecstacy, than your a homo-sexual. Homo-sexuality is a deviancy is it not, a lonely sin. The males of homo-sexuality are miserable, are they not. If of you never exploded into a pussy of a woman you are a feak. Nobody. Excect, of course you. You turn to the light, for truth and guidance. You don’t find it. To the darkness and of course, suprise for there is only darkness. It is sad and too sad, of course. We, of thee, our Lord, Gwad, do not judge, but pity – But Pity, BUT PITY, BUT PITY! You’ll go to hell but there is no waste. A man homo-sexual is merely twisted like a garden hose ‘r a rope, ‘r a thumbellina, ‘r a gas nozzle, ‘r a bus-line’, ‘r a bank account of a crack whore, and of course the chorrus rings out: “Look at the company you of in. You can prostate yourself, but you still must, for foregiveness suck very dick that comes up into your face.” Change thy’s mind. Your children will not be stupid and the myth can continue, this myth of course is human growth and the predegogginnaniessienniueccieessence of sustainable growth. There’s lots of bars.

-the workingman

I just have one thing to say to you all.

Download.

Thanks, Madison!

264 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 October 22
    Myk permalink

    I tried to prostate myself once. I won’t tell you what happened in case kids are listening.

    The unrelated pictures are REALLY bothering me. It’s like there’s some code that’s just out of my reach. There must be a meaning there somewhere. If only I could piece it together I’m sure the origin of life and the universe would be revealed.

    Adores: 13
    • 2010 October 22
      sarajean80 permalink

      Or you’ll open a doorway to another dimension, possibly one made of shrimp.

      Adores: 18
      • 2010 October 22
        LurkRealClose permalink

        Or the dimension where there is no shrimp.

        Adores: 9
        • 2010 October 22
          sarajean80 permalink

          That is the saddest dimension of all, next to the one where puppy-kisses are toxic.

          Adores: 10
    • 2010 October 22
      Innana permalink

      Looking at these pictures, I notice each has a faceless or vaguely faced person with a hand hovering somewhere near crotch area.
      Meaningful? I think kid’z be sluts….

      Adores: 9
      • 2010 October 22
        sarajean80 permalink

        Except the bottom left one that I think looks like a Ninja Turtle, that one represents man’s inhumanity to man. Or man’s inhumanity to bowling balls wearing bandannas.

        Adores: 11
        • 2010 October 22
          Innana permalink

          Look behind the ball – there’s a statuette of a human figure with arms hanging down.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 22
          Stephanae permalink

          Are you sure those are arms?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 22

          It looks like the sort of statuette sometimes found in Egyptian tombs – facing forwards, one foot out in front and arms down by the sides.

          Adores: 1
  2. 2010 October 22
    sarajean80 permalink

    :reads dense Wall-O-Text:

    Ummm…

    :re-reads dense Wall-O-Text:

    Gwad, that was hard to get through. All I got from that was that I’m a “feak” because I’ve never blown up a woman, an act I’m sure Sparky has to perform nightly. Unless he has an air compressor.

    Also – What the hell?

    Adores: 25
    • 2010 October 22
      LimeLolly permalink

      Gwad is a woman. ‘the workingman’ doesn’t seem to be happy about that.

      Adores: 9
      • 2010 October 22
        mudslicker permalink

        Through eras and eons of change in contact.

        Adores: 5
      • 2010 October 22
        coyttl permalink

        Y’know,
        That explains my luck recently.

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 October 26
          reina permalink

          We’ve got an air compressor. I really really don’t recommend using it to blow up anything.

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 October 22
      NotMyName permalink

      Is it okay if I didn’t torture myself and read the wall of text? Am I going to be yelled at for not wanting to deal with that?

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 October 22
        Windrose permalink

        Not reading is always an option!

        Adores: 8
      • 2010 October 22
        sarajean80 permalink

        It probably makes you a better person, ’cause I’m pretty sure a piece of my soul dies every time I read it.

        Adores: 13
        • 2010 October 22
          mudslicker permalink

          So….how many pieces of soul are gone now? Like elebenty?

          Adores: 13
        • 2010 October 22
          kelli permalink

          The good thing though is that the soul grows back and if you have no soul, all you have to do is marry someone with a soul and you’ll get half.

          Adores: 22
        • 2010 October 22
          sarajean80 permalink

          It’s like staring into the sun … I keep telling myself to stop but I just gotta look.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 October 22
          mudslicker permalink

          Mama always told me not to look into the eye’s of the sun
          But mama, that’s where the fun is!

          Adores: 5
      • 2010 October 22

        I’m not going to attempt reading until my next cup of coffee is finished downloaded

        Adores: 10
        • 2010 October 22

          Manfred Mann FTW!

          Adores: 2
  3. 2010 October 22
    Lola permalink

    I’ll tell you one thing about the homosexuals I know, of both genders, “workingman,” and that is that they all write better than you do. Maybe I’ll ask them write you some … nice invitations to come out of the closet?

    Adores: 17
    • 2010 October 22

      Workingman sounds like another something-man who has graced us with his presence in the past.

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 October 22
        mudslicker permalink

        Thank the goddess for the absence of candorman Sparky.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 22

          Thank Windrose for her blantant disregard of the first ammendment. :)

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 October 22

          Thank you, Windrose!

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 October 22
          Windrose permalink

          The first what, now?

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 October 22
          mudslicker permalink

          Windy did do an awesome job of editing that day, didn’t she?

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 October 22
          Windrose permalink

          *blush* Thanks, Mudsy, and everyone.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 22
          CapnMac permalink

          Actually, the 1st Amendment right is to speak, not to be listened to.

          Thus, WR is fully within her/our rights to sit quietly with our coffee slices droping bins of smitars and guillotines out of our pagodas upon the deserving Sparkies–those wishing to imprecate Blogrians for the Qsrtf Tragedy at planetary volumes may do so, just outside (or after the one reading in this case).

          We may or may not have a candidate for that, v.i., today.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 October 22

          That would be the tasty amendment: a-mm mm-endment!
          I never had the edit function, still don’t. I can’t spell, and while I have a full qwerty, each key is about a centimeter squared, so there :p

          Adores: 2
  4. 2010 October 22
    Dave permalink

    I’m trying to decide if “BUT PITY” should actually be “BUTT PITY” and it’s a typo. He’s all about the homo-sexual and feels self-butt-pity.

    Adores: 12
    • 2010 October 22
      Mr. T permalink

      PITY THE BUTT

      Adores: 5
    • 2010 October 22
      Ridiculously.Insular permalink

      BUTT PITY
      Empathy for one with diarrhea?

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 October 22

        BUTT PITY is the sound a shit storm makes on your roof.

        Adores: 5
  5. 2010 October 22
    mudslicker permalink

    What a fun manifesto! DICK OFF NOW! DICK OFF NOW!!! BUT PITY!!!

    I got a hankering for some Puerto Rican rum so thank goodness there’s lots of bars.

    Adores: 13
    • 2010 October 22
      sarajean80 permalink

      I thought Sparky was concerned about his/her cell phone reception. The tin foil he/she lined the walls with probably messes with the signal.

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 October 22
        mudslicker permalink

        I’m sure there’s more than Reynold’s wrap on those walls.

        Adores: 8
        • 2010 October 22
          sarajean80 permalink

          Especially if Sparky mixes Puerto Rican rum with “shirt time”. The booze could throw his aim off.

          Adores: 10
        • 2010 October 22
          LimeLolly permalink

          In the day, it was called ‘pulp’.

          *shrug*

          Learn something new every day.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 October 22
          NotMyName permalink

          So…”Pulp Fiction?”

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 October 22
          sarajean80 permalink

          “Pulp Friction”

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 October 22
          CapnMac permalink

          Thought this started out as a sale of “tijuana postcards”; sleazy porn on cheap newsprint from a long-gone time ago.

          But, it’s clearly not an ad for sale, or wanting to buy.

          So, when did CL add a “Ranting While Hopelessly Intoxicated and With Decreasing Evidence of Non-inebriated Intelligence” section?

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 October 22
          sarajean80 permalink

          I think it was just after they did away with the adult services section. All those Sparkies are getting frustrated now.

          Adores: 5
    • 2010 October 22
      Karmyn permalink

      Maybe it’s Butt Putty, which is some lube you don’t want to try.
      The gay men I know are unhappy about things unrelated to being gay. And I know plenty of straight people who are unhappy about things unrelated to being straight.

      Adores: 11
  6. 2010 October 22
    Todd permalink

    I must be old-school because I just don’t get the lyrics in the rap music you kids listen to.

    Adores: 25
  7. 2010 October 22
    Lola permalink

    Some YSAC (cat?) math: day pass + library card/library computer = today’s post

    Ahhh, I love the smell of the First Amendment in the morning!

    Adores: 12
    • 2010 October 22
      mudslicker permalink

      Smells like DOWNLOAD!

      Adores: 10
    • 2010 October 22
      kelli permalink

      Lola, it took me a long time to figure out what you meant by day pass. At first I thought of “day pass” as a bus pass good for one day and I wasn’t sure what you were trying to imply. Were you saying that Sparks= poor person, perhaps homeless or Sparks= crazy bus person (lots of those in this town)? Then I went to class and discussed Faulkner, left class, went to the library on campus, read your comment again and figured out you meant “day pass” out of an institution for pyschological disorders.

      I’m slow on Fridays.

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 October 22
        mudslicker permalink

        *golf clap for kelli*

        ;)

        Adores: 8
  8. 2010 October 22

    Whiskey.Tango.Foxtrot.

    WHISKEY.TANGO.FOXTROT.

    Adores: 17
    • 2010 October 22
      sarajean80 permalink

      It gets worse the more times you read it.

      Adores: 9
      • 2010 October 22

        Thank God I stopped after two….it’s like a swirling, black, vortex of nothingness that threatens to obliterate your soul.

        Adores: 11
        • 2010 October 22
          sarajean80 permalink

          I keep reading it, hoping it will make sense, but it looks like Sense did a dine-and-dash to ol’ Sparky.

          Adores: 8
      • 2010 October 22
        Artsy Computer Geek permalink

        While reading this I felt like I was transported back in time when I was in a class called “Great Books” and had to read Aristophanes. After long discussions about the greater meaning of his work, I came to my own conclusion “It is all about pie.”

        Adores: 10
        • 2010 October 22
          Smedley permalink

          What if pie is what it’s all about?

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 October 22
          Tankerbell permalink

          It’s not. They hokey pokey is what it’s all about.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 October 22

          I had a sneaking suspicion.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 October 22

          It’s all about Pi, in cat math, for this particular large value of weirdness that just goes on and on and on and on.

          Adores: 3
    • 2010 October 22
      NotMyName permalink

      Rum.Download.Idiot.
      RUM.DOWNLOAD.IDIOT.

      Yeah, I know it’s supposed to be “WTF.” But that’s what I got out of the ad.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 October 22
        EclecticBlue permalink

        You’re right, this does fulfill my RDI for crazy…

        Adores: 1
    • 2010 October 22
      Windrose permalink

      Maybe it’s more of a Charlie. Foxtrot.

      Adores: 2
  9. 2010 October 22

    And now for a public service announcement…

    “Kids, today’s post is a perfect example of why we don’t smoke crack.”

    Thank you, Pee-Wee Herman.

    Adores: 17
    • 2010 October 22

      I just watched that PSA the other day when Stephanae was talking about old PSAs and Schoolhouse Rock.
      Nothing says “don’t do crack” like a guy in geisha makeup and a bow tie, talking like a cartoon character.

      Adores: 11
  10. 2010 October 22

    *Drinks Potion*
    Al Sharpton becomes Rev. Jeremiah Wright

    Adores: 10
    • 2010 October 22
      Windrose permalink

      *insistent phone ringing in the distance*

      Adores: 7
  11. 2010 October 22
    coyttl permalink

    Personally, I love a woman or man with a little predegogginnaniessienniueccieessence.. it makes them look multi-syllable’d.(*)

    (*) – Yes, I made that up.

    Adores: 9
    • 2010 October 22
      Meej permalink

      Multi-syllable’z?

      Adores: 3
    • 2010 October 22
      Tankerbell permalink

      Predegogginnaniessienniueccieessence. I haz it.

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 October 22
        sarajean80 permalink

        I think they make an ointment for that now.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 October 22
          EclecticBlue permalink

          If you take it in a pill, it works faster.

          Adores: 1
  12. 2010 October 22
    Alex permalink

    There’s something vaguely beautiful about the rhythm of this, actually. I say there’s a 50-50 tossup between this guy ending up institutionalized on one hand and being on the required reading list for AP English classes (alongside “Ulysses”) on the other.

    Adores: 13
    • 2010 October 22
      mudslicker permalink

      James Joyce just whimpered a little.

      Adores: 9
    • 2010 October 22
      Innana permalink

      I taught an autistic student in college English who, barring the obscenities, wrote JUST LIKE this.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 October 22
        mudslicker permalink

        So what are you saying? He’s got Tourette’s as well?

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 October 22
          Innana permalink

          I think I’m saying my freshman English class could have been a lot more painful.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 October 22

          There was a guy in one of my lit classes with tourettes. He was a great guy, but nothing can turn a group of young college kids into, well, a group of young college kids quite like and unexpected shout of “whore!”

          Adores: 13
    • 2010 October 22
      CapnMac permalink

      Alex, I will have to object to your use of the putative future tense in relation to “workingman”‘s institutionalization.

      It is my assertion that it is more than obvious that “workingman” is a graduate (and potential escapee) from several institutions.

      Adores: 3
  13. 2010 October 22
    sarajean80 permalink

    Is anyone else getting political ads in their sidebar? I want to know how Google Ads got “political ads” from a homophobic rant.

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 October 22

      It usually takes a day or so for it to figure out what a page is about. I’m getting ads for deodorant right now.

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 October 22
        Mindfield permalink

        That’s false advertising! Bork bought all the deodorant yesterday. They’re backordered for at least two more days.

        Adores: 9
    • 2010 October 22
      Lola permalink

      I got a seriously creepy IMVU ad about “finding my Bella” or something. I suspect that’s a euphemism.

      Adores: 8
      • 2010 October 22
        NotMyName permalink

        I saw that once on here. It was “Amazing T-shirt Day,” I think. Stupid Twilight.

        Adores: 4
      • 2010 October 22
        Stephanae permalink

        I have an IMVU ad, too, but it says “Dress Up for Grown Ups,” which leads me to conclude that you’re right about “finding my Bella.”

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 22

          Git in mah Bella!

          …Sorry, it’s almost lunch time.

          Adores: 11
        • 2010 October 22
          LurkRealClose permalink

          BEEEEEEEEELLLLLAAAAAAAAAA /Marlon Brando

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 October 22

          I used portabella mushrooms in tonight’s dinner, so I guess I found my ‘bella, and soon it will be in mah bella.

          Adores: 4
      • 2010 October 22
        CapnMac permalink

        Ditto for creepy, anime-like, imvu ad.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 22
          Innana permalink

          Why is that man smelling her hair?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 22
          mudslicker permalink

          Because her hair smells like used deodorant.

          Coincidence? I think not.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 October 22
          CapnMac permalink

          Because she bought used un-river-ant for $10, and posted that as an avatar?

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 October 22
        EclecticBlue permalink

        “finding my Bella” sounds suspiciously like a euphamism… something about golden lotuses… Though, given the topic of Twilight, [BEEEEEP. This rant has been removed in the interest of me not having to write it and go insane. Had this been an actual rant, there would be matt tags involved, and you would be asked to report to your designated stations. BEEEEEP.]

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 22
          NotMyName permalink

          TO YOUR STATIONS!!! PREPARE FOR ASSAULT BY TWILIGHT RANTS!! AND CAPS LOCK(S?)!!!

          Yeah, sorry, don’t know what came over me…oooh bad choice of words, but I don’t feel like deleting it because it’s an interesting conversational piece. End rant.

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 October 22
        Laurelhach permalink

        I’ve got some Bose headphones in my ad–they’ll be helpful as I try to block out the sound of my brain frying after attempting to comprehend this particular mindbomb.

        Adores: 1
    • 2010 October 22

      I’m getting ads for pack rats…not sure if it’s promoting the pack rat industry or attempting to provide trashology therapy.

      Adores: 6
    • 2010 October 22
      LimeLolly permalink

      I thought it rather fitting. We need more funds freed up for health care.. exhibit A: ‘the workingman’.

      Just for the record, I have a political ad that is anti-Nancy Spelosi.

      Adores: 4
    • 2010 October 22
      Bombdude permalink

      Yeah, I’m getting “Vote for *******” ads, but I assumed it was from the word “votes” in the title.

      Adores: 4
    • 2010 October 22
      WendyBear permalink

      My ad is perfect. It’s for a program that teaches skills for prekindergarten through 8th grade.

      Sparky might need to sign up so that he can learn to write a wee bit more clearly.

      Adores: 7
    • 2010 October 22
      ZODIAC permalink

      My add is for californiapsychics.com…I’m not sure where that came from, maybe I should ask the psychics.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 October 22
        NotMyName permalink

        Don’t you see? They predicted something for tomorrow. The ad will have to do with something psychic tomorrow.

        Adores: 3
  14. 2010 October 22
    sarajean80 permalink

    Did anyone else look at the bottom left picture and think “Ninja Turtle”?

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 October 22

      I saw a Dalek having some kind of allergic reaction.

      Admittedly, this may be the fever talking.

      Okay, admittedly part deux, this may be a combo of the fever and drugs talking.

      Adores: 8
      • 2010 October 22
        SilvaNoir permalink

        The fever is spreading! oh no!
        soon we’ll all be hallucinating Dr. Who related things

        Adores: 8
        • 2010 October 22
          NotMyName permalink

          Would that really be all that bad, Silva?

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 October 22
          kelli permalink

          I haven’t hullicinated Dr. Who related things since I tied up came to an agreement with Ten.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 October 22
          LaKitta permalink

          Your wish, my command:
          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzHnH9hVSiU

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 October 22
        Laurelhach permalink

        What would a Dalek have a reaction to? WD40? X-rays? Kindness?

        Adores: 1
    • 2010 October 22
      mudslicker permalink

      I see a green balloon festooned with a wreath made out of a lifetime collection of used (aka ABC) purple bubble gum.

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 October 22
        NotMyName permalink

        I thought it was a green easter egg with a wreath on it made out of Christmas tinsel. Holiday stuff.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 22
          mudslicker permalink

          It’s magical NMN. A kaleidoscope of possibilities. Everyone gets to admire and adore it through their own prism.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 October 22
          NotMyName permalink

          For using the word adore, I give you a door.

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 October 22
          mudslicker permalink

          Awwww shucks, NMN. You’re a sweetie.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 October 22
          CapnMac permalink

          Funny, I saw a schooner.

          Full of beer.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 22
          mudslicker permalink

          Funny, I saw a bar.

          Full of schooner’z and bear’z.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 22
          CapnMac permalink

          I walked into a bar once.

          Ducked the next time.
          [duck, run, and grin]

          Adores: 4
  15. 2010 October 22
    Mindfield permalink

    I … don’t … what is … where … I … I … cucumber.

    Wait, I have to take this in manageable chunks here.

    So once there was “pulp,” defined as Rum-soaked whack rags from Puerto Rico. (Whence perhaps “quiet shirt time” came?) Now I’m never going to look at the chewy variety of orange juice the same way again.

    These “pulps” were irresponsible itinerants who wandered around spitting chaw juice on the boat upon which they were engaging in buggery and urging their female companions to rapidly finish performing fellatio on them because a variety of modes of transport were about to leave. Pulpy, as it shall henceforth be referred, engages in reverie about information downloading on his screen, “information” presumably being a euphemism for porn, and how he was able to say “download” with a straight face, thus saving his mentally challenged daughter from child abuse, even though the act of saying it made him a sinful, miserable homosexual, because he had never detonated himself inside of a woman.

    In order to redeem himself he must turn to a nearby lamp, but unfortunately it’s off and thus it’s dark. It is sad, of course, but those who worship the Lord Gwad (who begat Samsung, who begat Son, who both begat a great 70s TV show) don’t judge Pulpy for his pulpiness, fondness of oral sex, homosexuality, or his utter lack of local illumination. They simply pity him, pity him four times, presumably because Pulpy will get eye strain. They don’t judge, but think Pulpy is twisted like a garden hose, or like thumbelinas, ropes, gas nozzles, bus lines, and bank accounts of crack hoes who all have degrees as a radiology assistant.

    And just then a chorus of drunken homeless tenors sang out, “Look at the company you of in. You can prostate yourself, but you still must, for foregiveness suck very dick that comes up into your face.” Whereupon one must assume they all dropped trou.

    Pulpy is then instructed to change his mind, because his children won’t be stupid — this makes Pulpy happy — and because of this, the myth of human growth and the predegogginnaniessienniueccieessencecalifragilisticexpialidocious of sustainable growth.

    Sparky completes his essay by indicating that there are a lot of taverns and pubs, and caps it off with a rhebus that appears to read, “A penniless young Angela Lansbury’s bowling ball wearing a knotted do rag used its photogaphic box to take a candid, poorly framed daguerreotype of a young couple.”

    You see? Taken in manageable chunks, this makes a lot … more … uh …

    cucumbers.

    Adores: 23
    • 2010 October 22

      Gawd, freakishly-smiling-puppy….and I thought my head hurt after reading the original!

      *wanders off in search of Excedrin migraine bottle*

      Adores: 4
    • 2010 October 22

      This to me smacks more of “Revelations”, where the five headed beast says things in chorus, and biblical stuff comes out of its mouth. (Like the sword that Death uses to burn up the oceans, and the scale that the wheat is measured with.)

      Biblical coreys here and there.

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 October 22
        NotMyName permalink

        Wait…5 headed beast? I didn’t know that was actually in a religious text…I heard it in a song.

        Adores: 4
      • 2010 October 22
        mudslicker permalink

        And don’t forget the best part where Gawd downloaded that angel and the trumpets and then the zombies came back to life and went down to Fire Lake (go Bob Seger!) for a picnic.

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 October 22
          Smedley permalink

          If you’re not feeling very religious, look up a group called “Aphrodites Child”. One of their most famous songs involved the opening of the seven seals (And not pinniped vivisection.)
          Supposedly, all of them either popped themselves (The band, not the seals.) or are worse off than our featured speaker today because Gwad apparently doesn’t like acid rock. At all.
          He even got them through their tinfoil helmets.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 22

          [corey]That may be internet myth – three of the four band members are still with us and still recording, and two of them (Vangelis and Roussos) had very successful solo careers post-Aphrodite’s Child.[/corey]

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 22

          The same Vangelis that did Bladerunner and Chariots of Fire? I’m totally going to look this up.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 22
          CapnMac permalink

          If it’s that Vangelis, they also did Risky Business.

          Kudos galore for “piniped vivisection” above–talk about a limited-run alt.indy band name . . .

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 October 23

          Hence my use of the word, “supposedly”.

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 October 22
      WendyBear permalink

      *grovels*

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 October 22

        *gravels*
        er…
        *grave bowels*
        I mean…
        *gropes*

        Sigh, I really need a spell checker, kneeling in these rocks is murder on the knees. And who’s touching my butt?

        Adores: 9
        • 2010 October 22
          kelli permalink

          Sorry, I needed someplace to put my tea.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 October 22
          Windrose permalink

          kelli, are you suggesting that christina has a butt like a tea table?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 22
          kelli permalink

          I’m just saying I needed a place for my tea cup and christina’s backside was convienent.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 24
          Astrognash permalink

          This talk of butts reminds me.

          This one time, on a band trip, this weekend, I got mooned for the very first time.

          Something’s wrong with the Class of ’14 (this year’s freshmen), I swear.

          Adores: 1
    • 2012 December 27

      Oh, yeah. Bill Burroughs is still alive.

      Adores: 0
  16. 2010 October 22
    Windrose permalink

    I am totally unable to comment on the ad today. I lost my decoder ring.

    However, look at all the quilt squares showing up this morning! Welcome, first time commenters! Hope you stay around, especially over the often slow weekend.

    Adores: 8
  17. 2010 October 22

    Girls are you constantly getting poked at by hordes of pesky cocks?

    All new Deep Wood Dick OFF!! (With DDT)

    Our repellent provides long-lasting protection against wandering peckers, especially in heavily beered areas. It repels dicks that may carry Lie disease, mojitos, button flies, zipper flies, buggers, free loaders, giants, and no-see-ums. Without the constant bother of dicks, all your excursions become more enjoyable.

    Adores: 26
    • 2010 October 22
      LimeLolly permalink

      Does the improved formula protect against bad pick-up lines?

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 October 22

        No, that would be our other product, Jack OFF.

        Adores: 6
      • 2010 October 22
        mudslicker permalink

        hordes of pesky cocks

        MWAHAHAAHA. Yes, they can be pesky sometimes.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 22
          LimeLolly permalink

          Then you’re doing it wrong. 8)

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 22
          mudslicker permalink

          Since I an not anatomically attached to said pesky penis horde, I would have to contend that said owner would be the one doing it wrong.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 October 22
          sarajean80 permalink

          So that’s “owner” as in singular? I would imagine a male with a penis horde would have some coordination issues.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 October 22
          Stephanae permalink

          man with pesky penis horde = feak

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 October 22
          mudslicker permalink

          Yes. All of the above. Indubitably.

          p.s. Pesky Penis Horde = band name, perchance?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 22
          kelli permalink

          Pesky Penis Horde = band name, perchance?

          Sounds more like a scifi pron

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 22
          EclecticBlue permalink

          And I had been doing so well with the not-drinking-while-reading thing…. I guess being AWOL for a few days(/weeks? I don’t even know…) made me forget stuff like that.

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 October 22
        Tankerbell permalink

        Wait, was Hammy’s product to get rid of hordes of pesky penises (penii?)? Because I thought it was to get rid of roosters named Dick. He even said it gets rid of peckers. Hammy, please cancel my order. I LIKE the pesky penis horde.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 22

          I LIKE the pesky penis horde

          We had a name for girls like that in High School…*

          *Hides in tank proof bunker*

          Adores: 3
    • 2010 October 22
      mudslicker permalink

      I need mine to protect me from thumbelinas and gas nozzles. However, I don’t mind being bothered by garden hoses.

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 October 22
        SilvaNoir permalink

        Thumbelinas couldn’t be much of a bother. You could just stomp on them.

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 October 22
          mudslicker permalink

          But then I’d have to worry about having to scrape them off the bottom of my shoe. Not a pretty picture Silva. Not a pretty picture at all.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 October 22
          NotMyName permalink

          I have one thing to say to that, Silva: ouch.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 22
          CapnMac permalink

          Wait, is “thumbelina” some code for a pecil costume*?

          _________________
          *what, it’s close to Saturday . . .

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 22
          mudslicker permalink

          Thumbelina Condoms are the latest college craze.

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 October 22
        Tankerbell permalink

        Not.A.Thumbelina.

        Adores: 2
    • 2010 October 22
      WendyBear permalink

      People are probably now wondering what the incessant insane laughter emanating from my office is about.

      Should not read this on my sortoflunch break.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 October 22
        Tankerbell permalink

        Welcome to the world of my coirkers, WendyBear. Your coirkers will eventually get used to it. Mine did.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 22
          EclecticBlue permalink

          I can generally stifle the incessancy, but on the occasion that a snortle comes out, I can usually pass it off as choking on something :-p

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 October 22
      sarajean80 permalink

      That DDT stuff gives me hives. Do you have any hypoallergenic CockBlock?

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 October 22

        That would be our organic product, Green Dick OFF (With PMS)

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 22
          ZODIAC permalink

          HamCan, does your product work for men as well as women? Because I’m kinda pretty and attract the occasional penile horde when I go out.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 22

          Would you really want your Dick OFF?

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 October 22

      I think we’re going to have to lift the ban on saying penis today. After reading the ad, and the comments so far, all I can think about is the opening scene from Resevoir Dogs: “Dick, dick, dick, dick, dick.”

      Adores: 3
    • 2010 October 22
      NotMyName permalink

      Deep Wood Dick Off

      Can’t believe I actually quoted that…anyways…
      Does that mean it only works in the woods, like in Deliverance,* rather than at bars,** or at the beach, etc.?

      *Never seen it, and don’t plan on it.
      **Or is it bears?

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 October 22
        Stephanae permalink

        Well, bears certainly have dicks to keep off, but you’d need to market the Bear Dick Keep Off to men.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 23
          Tankerbell permalink

          Not necessarily. I have an interest in avoiding encounters with bear dicks.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 23

          Bear? Or bare?

          Adores: 1
  18. 2010 October 22
    Windrose permalink

    Oh, wait! Here’s something that makes total sense. “There’s lots of bars.” Amen, brothers and sisters!

    Adores: 9
    • 2010 October 22
      Mindfield permalink

      All things considered, given the context — what can be made of it at least — I’m wondering if he didn’t mean to type “there are lots of bears.” I’ll leave it as an exercise for the reader to decide if that’s referring to the ursine variety or the heavily bearded variety.

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 October 22

        Hell…why stop at the sensical “bears”? I think he meant “there are lots of fluglebinding whoozeewassits”…but he couldn’t spell it so he just said “bars”.

        Adores: 7
        • 2010 October 22
          LurkRealClose permalink

          That happens to me more than you might think.

          Adores: 2
  19. 2010 October 22
    sarajean80 permalink

    Internerant – n., portmanteau of “internet” and “rant”. Sparkies are prone to this behavior, see YSaC Vol.827 for example.

    Adores: 10
  20. 2010 October 22
    SilvaNoir permalink

    Dick off now?
    Maybe he should think about reattaching it.

    Adores: 8
    • 2010 October 22
      LimeLolly permalink

      The meatball says ‘NO’!

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 October 22

        Heck, I’ve been dicking off all morning, thanks to you guys. I just can’t balance 100+ comments and work!

        Adores: 5
      • 2010 October 22
        CapnMac permalink

        Funny, was planning to make meatballs tonight (which is really Taco’s fault for posting his recipe the other day).

        Adores: 1
  21. 2010 October 22
    kelli permalink

    Sparky,

    Please don’t download anywhere near me.

    Thank you,
    All of humanity.

    Adores: 12
    • 2010 October 22
      CapnMac permalink

      Please, O please, Spark’ that includes biologically as well as digitally . . .

      Adores: 3
  22. 2010 October 22

    Predegogginnaniessienniueccieessence

    By: Scary Dickons


    But pity pity pity But pity ay
    But pity pity pity But pity ay
    Predegogginnaniessienniueccieessence!
    Even though the sound of it
    Is something quite obnoxious
    If you say it loud enough
    You’ll always sound Bipolar
    Predegogginnaniessienniueccieessence!

    But pity pity pity But pity ay
    But pity pity pity But pity ay
    Because I was a crazy freak
    When I was just a lad
    My father was a tweaker
    And told me I was bad
    But then one day I learned a word
    That saved me aching ass
    The biggest word I ever heard
    And this is how it goes:

    Oh, Predegogginnaniessienniueccieessence!
    Even though the sound of it
    Is something quite obnoxious
    If you say it loud enough
    You’ll always sound Bipolar
    Predegogginnaniessienniueccieessence!

    But pity pity pity But pity ay
    But pity pity pity But pity ay
    So when the crack has you wagging your tongue
    There’s a need for total disarray
    Just summon up this word
    And then you’ve got a lot crap to say
    But better use it carefully
    Or it may change your life
    One night I said it to my girl
    And now the girl’s my husband!
    It’s Predegogginnaniessienniueccieessence!

    Predegogginnaniessienniueccieessence
    Predegogginnaniessienniueccieessence
    Predegogginnaniessienniueccieessence!

    Adores: 19
    • 2010 October 22
      Innana permalink

      predegogginnaniessienniueccieessence–

      someone is predegogging on me again. Smiting ensues!

      Adores: 7
  23. 2010 October 22
    SilvaNoir permalink

    I’m imagining the whole rant as read by the woman in the picture who is leaning in front of the painting. I also imagine her smashingly drunk while reciting all of it.

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 October 22
      NotMyName permalink

      So, it’s not just me? That’s a relief.

      Adores: 5
    • 2010 October 22
      CapnMac permalink

      Is that like standing on a chair and reciting Crash’s soliloquy from Bull Durham?

      (I’ve seen this done, sometimes with skill)

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 October 22
      ZODIAC permalink

      It read more like a tortured soul in a coffee shop on open mic night to me. I added the fast bongo drum beats on my desk the second reading, and it almost made sense that way.

      EDIT: damn, should have scrolled down more…this was already brought up.

      Adores: 2
  24. 2010 October 22
    Yancy permalink

    This was produced by the monkey who sat between the monkey who wrote Twelfth Night and the monkey who wrote Romeo and Juliet. This is a mish-mash of confused identity, love that can’t be returned, love that shouldn’t be returned, and gender confusion. The monkey trainers were really hopeful for this piece of work, because the monkey had previously produced Henry V, but when they read this they just fell over twitching. The only thing that saved this monkey’s life is that he later produced some of Shakespeare’s more homoerotic sonnets.

    Adores: 8
    • 2010 October 22
      BrainStew permalink

      Perhaps in the downtime the Monkey had been exposed to some crazy far-rightwing blogs accidentally…Shakespeare + Homophobes + General Crazy People = This?

      Adores: 1
  25. 2010 October 22
    Innana permalink

    I read this again slowly; I think there is a Sarah Palin joke in there somewhere, and it cries out to be read by William Shatner, with bongo drums.

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 October 22
      Meej permalink

      “Prede… Goggin nani essi… en-niueccie… Essence!” (bububudum.)

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 October 22
        Innana permalink

        [snaps fingers] That’s gone, man.

        Adores: 4
    • 2010 October 22
      Bombdude permalink

      Wow… you’re right!! (well, I’m not sure about the Palin joke, couldn’t find it yet (yet!!)), but if you go back and mentally channel yourself some James T (after he’s had a bottle of the aforementioned Puerto Rican rum), it starts to flow!!!

      I said nothing about making any more sense, but it certainly is more entertaining in my mind…

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 October 22
        sarajean80 permalink

        Most things sound vastly more entertaining if you imagine them being said by Shatner. Or Sean Connery.

        Adores: 6
      • 2010 October 22
        Innana permalink

        OK, well, try putting “Democrats” in for homossexuals, “shoot” or “guns” for any obscene words, “maverick” for “download,” and “refudiation” for “predigogginana……what he said.” Maybe Russian vodka for Puerto Rican rum. “There’s lots of bars,” means the griz’ly bars up in the frozen land. I think this is actually a code that works.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 22
          mudslicker permalink

          I can see Russian vodka soaked jack-off rags from my house!

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 October 22

          There you go again, Obamannana*!

          *Go ahead, say it out loud, it’s fun!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 22
          Innana permalink

          I don’t create reality, dude; I only try to interpret it.
          (Oh, wait–I’m a goddess, I guess I do create reality: sorry for the snafu here.)

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 22
          Tankerbell permalink

          I can see Russian vodka soaked jack-off rags from my house!

          Yeah, they’re from when Putin “pops his head up”.

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 October 22
      CapnMac permalink

      Dunno, could be read by Bob & Doug Mackenzie, too.

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 October 22
      Matthew McConaughey permalink

      Wait, bongos? What?

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 October 22
        Innana permalink

        Bongos — often an accompaniment to beat poetry in coffeehouses.

        Shatner and Palin: see here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpbSwSlP4Yc

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 22
          Matthew McConaughey permalink

          Dude, I know! I got the bongos, and I’m ready to jam, man.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 22
          Innana permalink

          No dudes, just cats. And we’re all cool, and the poetry is hot.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 23

          ***H-h-h-o-t-t.***

          Adores: 1
  26. 2010 October 22
    Bianchi Sound permalink

    This really isn’t the worst thing Neil Peart ever wrote.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 October 22
      Bombdude permalink

      Hey now… Them’s fightin’ words….

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 October 22
        kelli permalink

        No, “let’s fight” – those are fighting words.

        Adores: 8
    • 2010 October 22
      mudslicker permalink

      I hated Rush—with the exception of Roll the Bones.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 October 22

        You have listened to “2112″ and “Hemispheres”? Plenty of good stuff there. Don’t want to push anything on you. The first three albums? Hit and miss. “Rivendell” is a pretty good tune. Bombdude, over to you…

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 22
          Tankerbell permalink

          ***Wants to push “the workingman” on Mudsy so the workingman trips and Mudsy and I can run away from the zombies

          Oh, wait. Zombies want brains. Nevermind. They’ll just hurdle “the workingman.”

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 22

          Oh, and I just now thought of this. One of the first songs Rush ever released was a little ditty called “Working Man”.
          Crap, Bombdude. What now?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 22
          Tankerbell permalink

          All you ever need to see to know why Geddy Lee is Gwad.

          Adores: 1
  27. 2010 October 22
    Artsy Computer Geek permalink

    Maybe it an encoded message to his Space Alien friends telling them all of the secrets of the universe. Or it could just be to the zomb…

    Adores: 1
  28. 2010 October 22
    Stephanae permalink

    I think this “workingman” named Maria is an F2M transsexual, who although he gender-identifies as male is also sexually attracted to men. He now can’t deal with his own homosexuality. He hates himself so much that he tries to distance himself from who he is by talking to himself in the second person.

    When he was a woman, he felt he had to such dick and get the job done, and now that he’s prostated himself, he feels he must atone by sucking every dick that comes into his face. Witness his pathos: he turns to the light but can’t find it and sees only darkness. He begs Gwad for pity, but he feels like he’s going to hell and it won’t even be a waste, because that’s what he deserves.

    I’m going to go cry for this poor soul, now. If only he could accept himself.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 October 22
      Innana permalink

      If he’s F2M, he wouldn’t really be a “working” man, now would he?

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 October 22
        CapnMac permalink

        Would not have a prostate, either–unless the urologists have a new procedure for prostatoplasty (and Skene’s are likely poor candidates for such a procedure).

        Adores: 0
  29. 2010 October 22
    Ladycrim permalink

    I’m pretty sure this happened shortly after he posted:

    “OK, Mr. Workingman, it’s time to leave the computer and go back to your nice padded room now…”

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 October 22
      Artsy Computer Geek permalink

      Nice Dr. Lunnytoons, “Yes Mr. Workingman it’s time for your medication. I thought we decided you weren’t ready to use the computer yet.”

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 October 22
      CapnMac permalink

      Ok, so now all I can picture is the Python sketch where the fellow goes to the psychiatrist, but all the “doctors” are inmates from the looney bin, wanting to talk about imaginary sex situations . . .

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 October 22
        Windrose permalink

        Tell me about your first time. Do you like doctors?

        Adores: 2
  30. 2010 October 22
    Tankerbell permalink

    The Lord Gwad is my professional wrestling name.

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 October 22
      drmk permalink

      It’s also the name of Irregular Fractal’s Stryper cover band.

      Adores: 8
    • 2010 October 22
      sarajean80 permalink

      Lord G-Wad is my rapper name.

      Adores: 9
      • 2010 October 22
        mudslicker permalink

        Mine is Iced Tea Download.

        Adores: 4
      • 2010 October 22
        kelli permalink

        Lord Big Wad is my pron name.

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 October 22
          sarajean80 permalink

          Mine’s Kidz B. Slutz.

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 October 22
        Windrose permalink

        Mine was Lady Predegogginnaniessienniueccieessence, but it wouldn’t fit on the CD covers.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 October 22

          “Who?, Lord Kinboat?”

          X-Files: “Jose Chungs’ From Outer Space”

          Adores: 1
  31. 2010 October 22
    LurkRealClose permalink

    Downloaded.
    Uploaded.
    Fully loaded.
    Loaded for bear.

    I feel so sinful, now.

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 October 22
      Stephanae permalink

      When you wrote that, were you afraid we would know your face in ecstasy?

      Adores: 4
  32. 2010 October 22
    BillsBayou permalink

    Can I get a definition for predegogginnaniessienniueccieessence? Otherwise, I’m left to guess:

    predegogginnaniessienniueccieessence
    pre – prior
    de – off or removed from
    gogg – a choking sound
    in – imbued with
    nani – miniature
    es – is
    sien – sifted or refined
    niu – new
    eccie – ichor or fluid
    essence – suffix meaning the general aura of a thing

    My definition:

    predegogginnaniessienniueccieessence – noun or adj- pertaining to the small amount of pure fluid one finds directly at the source which does not cause you to gag, but has the general essence of the greater amount of fluid which follows.

    Essentially: Pre-cum

    Thus, the phrase “the predegogginnaniessienniueccieessence of sustainable growth” means “Suck my dick until you can taste it and that’s when I’m ready to fuck.”

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 October 22
      Stephanae permalink

      Nicely reasoned! And there really never was a line today, anyway, although I think you may have jumped a few feet past the rest of us.

      *looks for the YSaC long jump metal

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 October 22
        Stephanae permalink

        Or maybe medal. Ooops. Why couldn’t I have noticed that within the edit window?

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 October 22
          CapnMac permalink

          Because that is the essential essence of the Edit Window. That it is transient, mocking in its mayfly-like existence, as permanent as yesterday’s sunshine.

          That, and that dang Murphy is good with shiney objec

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 October 22
          Meej permalink

          Or maybe you meant metal after all?

          \m/ o_o \m/

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 October 22
          CapnMac permalink

          Or “mental” perhaps?

          Or even “demental”?

          Wow, new ad–ipad for 2000 yuan!

          Adores: 4
  33. 2010 October 22
    Innana permalink

    It was the best of eraz, it was the worst of eonz, it was the age of knowledge KNOW!, it was the age of download, it was the epoch of ANY ONE!, it was the epoch of homo-sexuality, it was the season of Light, for truth and guidance, it was the season of Darkness (suprise!), it was the garden hose ‘r a rope, it was the winter of boat’z, bus’z and trainz, we had very dick before us, we spit out tobacco before us, we were all going direct to ecstacy, we were all going direct the other way – in short, kid’s be slutz, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of predegogginnaniessienniueccieessence only.

    by Charles Dickoff

    Adores: 13
    • 2010 October 22
      mudslicker permalink

      Tale of Two Downloads?

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 October 22
        Innana permalink

        Tale of Two “Pities”

        Adores: 5
    • 2010 October 22

      Finally someone’s made sense out of it all!

      Thank you oh Goddess of the Shiny Knees!

      Adores: 3
    • 2010 October 22

      *applause for the goddess*

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 October 23

      Love it!

      Adores: 1
  34. 2010 October 22
    Windrose permalink

    “Twisted like a bank account of a crack whore.”

    I think I have found a clue. Also, the S. Palin joke.

    Adores: 6
  35. 2010 October 22
    Matthew McConaughey permalink

    Homo-sexuality is a deviancy is it not, a lonely sin. The males of homo-sexuality are miserable, are they not. If of you never exploded into a pussy of a woman you are a feak.

    Two requests for clarification here:
    1.) How can homosexuality be a “lonely” sin? Isn’t the whole buggery thing the sinful part? I always thought buggery required you not to be alone?

    2.) Bombdude? Is this true, about the definition of “feak”? That it means one who has never rigged an explosive device such that a cat owned by a woman was caught in the blast? Why the hell would you even have a definition for something like that? And once you do graduate from feakhood, what do they call you?

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 October 22
      Tankerbell permalink

      ^^That^^ was actually me – forgot to change the sign in (again). I would so suck as a secret agent.

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 October 22
        Windrose permalink

        And as a sock puppet master.

        Adores: 2
      • 2010 October 22
        Innana permalink

        Do you have a small dog?

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 22
          Tankerbell permalink

          Wait, let me get you my social security number…

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 October 22
          Windrose permalink

          Are you still banking at Wells-Failgo? What was that number, again?

          Adores: 3
    • 2010 October 22

      If the males of homosexuality are miserable, what are the females of homosexuality?

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 October 22
        Tankerbell permalink

        Happy. Because they are comfortable, you know, in their sensible shoes.

        Adores: 4
  36. 2010 October 22

    (Maria’z Purposeful Nips ‘N Things)
    Does anyone else think this sounds like a very effed up boutique run by a little old lady named Maria who sells crocheted fetish wear embroidered with religious sayings?

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 October 22
      Stephanae permalink

      I still say it’s a reference to his plastic surgery.

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 October 22

      I think I’ve seen thinks like that on Regretsy…

      Adores: 3
    • 2010 October 23
      Tankerbell permalink

      When it’s cold I get purposeful nips.

      Adores: 1
  37. 2010 October 22
    EclecticBlue permalink

    Holy Hannah! My ad is perfect…

    “In the dark? Get enlightened
    Ask one FREE question
    CaliforniaPsychics.com”

    Adores: 3
  38. 2010 October 22
    brunurb permalink

    the incomprehensibleness (is that a word?) of all that notwithstanding, I think the thing that bothers me the most about this isn’t the pluralization of word’z with z, but the fact that they had to put apostrophe’z in front of every z…. did anyone submit this to the apostrophe abuse page yet?

    overall, it sounds like one of those random spam emails made up of random words jumbled together that *almost* look like they could make sense if they had been translated word by word from another language without thought to context and grammar.

    Adores: 2
  39. 2010 October 22
    NotMyName permalink

    I just watched The Art of Lying. I had never heard of it before, but I suggest it to anyone who likes weird comedies. It’s hilarious.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 October 22
      CapnMac permalink

      Tad formulaic, though; and h’wood had to tie it up with a neat happy ending. Still funny, just that I felt (and as with all too much out of h’wood of late) that I only got 70¢ out of my dollar (which was $1.36 with taxes fees ans excises).

      They do get bounus points for introducing belief into it; they just could have gone deeper. Would like to give this to Nimród Antal, and let him work some of his Hungarian magic upon the tale.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 October 23
        kelli permalink

        I’ve got to agree with you Cap’n. It had quite a lot of potential that was squandered on H’wood hype and happiness.

        Adores: 2
  40. 2010 October 22
    NotMyName permalink

    *Click*
    Sigh.
    *Click*
    Sigh.
    *Click*
    Come on already.
    *Click*
    Ahh, I’m going to bed.

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 October 22
      EclecticBlue permalink

      NMN. you DO realize that the new day’s ad is posted around 9 am EST, right? :-)

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 October 23
        NotMyName permalink

        I click refresh to see if anybody says anything. No one was commenting, so I went to bed.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 October 23
          CapnMac permalink

          Well, you need to hunt some of us down on f/b–Andie and I were up late last night chatting.

          Adores: 1
  41. 2010 October 22
    fpelayo permalink

    Random spam-filler text generator is random. XD

    Adores: 1
  42. 2010 October 22
    Windrose permalink

    Hooray for Smiling Dog! Punchity Punch Punch!

    G’Night, Puerto Rico!

    Adores: 1

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